These funny jokes will have them belly-laughing for days
Need a good joke when you’re in a pinch? We’ve got you covered with a joke of the day for almost a whole year, and most of them are original! These hilarious jokes for kids require little to no explanation from parents, but you’ll want to get in on the fun, anyway. From cheesy jokes to knock-knock jokes and beyond, many of these have been sent to us by kids themselves. We’ve also got squeaky-clean jokes, spring jokes, and printable lunchbox jokes. And for those looking to take the fun to the next level, we’ve got the best minute to win it games, too.
Why should you share jokes with your kids?
Because it allows kids to learn to laugh at themselves and not take themselves too seriously. It’s an easy way to have quality time that doesn’t include a screen. So go ahead, scroll through our favorite jokes for kids, and spend 15 minutes having a good chuckle with your kiddos.
1. What do you call an ant who fights crime? A vigilante!
80. What did the big flower say to the little flower? Hi, bud!
81. There are two robots sitting on a wall. They are named Pete and Re-Pete. Pete falls off. Who is left? (Re-Pete...so you repeat the whole thing again and again and again.)
—Henrik P., 10
82. What is a pony’s favorite juice? She really likes lemon-neigh’d.
—5-year-old Kerrigan
83. Where do fish keep their money? In the River-Bank!
—Jaxon G., 7 y.o.
84. What do you call an alligator with a vest? An investigator!
—Milo H-R, age 8
85. Why was the computer cold? It left its window open!
312. What do you call a Buffalo that likes beef?
A Beef-alo
313. What does a camel say to a hunter?
Do you need some camel-flage
314. Why does the dinosaur like the bathroom?
Because it’s ex-stink-t
315. Why does the dentist use a computer?
Because it has Bluetooth.
—Jokes 312-315 by Gunner, age 8
316. What’s grey?
A melted penguin.
317. What goes black, white, black, white, black white?
A penguin rolling down a hill.
318. Can a match box?
No, but a tin can!
319. Why was the baby in Egypt?
It was looking for its mummy.
320. Why did the chewing gum cross the road?
It was stuck on the chicken’s foot.
321. What does a cow eat for breakfast?
Mooo-esli.
322. Doctor, doctor, I feel like a dog.
Then go and see a vet!
323. What do girl snakes write at the bottom of their letters?
With love and hisses.
324. Why did the bacteria cross the microscope?
To get to the other slide.
—Jokes 316-324 by Elijah, age 11
325. Knock, knock Who’s there? Lettuce. Lettuce who? Let us in, it’s cold out here!
326. What do you get when you cross a bridge with a car?
To the other side of the river.
327. What do you get when you cross an elephant with a cake?
Crumbs.
328. Doctor, doctor, I keep thinking I’m a dog.
Then sit on the couch and we’ll talk about it, But I’m not allowed on the furniture!
329. Doctor, doctor I feel like a sheep.
That’s baa-aaa-aad.
330. What do you call a bee that buzzes quietly?
A mumble bee.
—Jokes 325-330 by Malachi, age 7 and a half
331. Where do you find a polar bear?
The same place you left her.
—Thomas, age 7
332. What is fast, loud, and crunchy? A rocket chip!
333. How does a vampire start a letter? Tomb it may concern…
334. What has ears but cannot hear? A field of corn…
335. Did you hear the one about the claustrophobic astronaut?
He just needed a little space.
Make sure to capture all the giggles—and share them with your family and friends near and far—with the Tinybeans app. The secure platform puts parents in total control of who sees and interacts with photos and videos of their kids.
March is about wearing o’ the green, eating Irish soda bread, and making leprechaun traps. Add fun to your days with these leprechaun jokes and St. Patrick’s Day jokes for kids. Your little one will be laughing ’til they turn green! If you’re in the mood for more giggles, check out our spring jokes for kids and funny dad jokes!
St. Patrick’s Day Jokes for Kids
1. What do you call an Irish spider?
Paddy Long Legs
2. Why shouldn’t you iron a shamrock?
You don’t want to press your luck!
3. What kind of bow can’t be tied?
A rainbow
4. What happens when shamrocks grow in poison ivy?
You get a rash of good luck.
5. How can you spot a jealous shamrock?
It’s green with envy.
6. What is the favorite music of the Irish?
Sham-rock n’ roll
7. How did the Irish potato become bilingual?
It became a French fry.
8. What do you call an Irish jig at McDonald’s?
A Shamrock Shake
9. Knock knock
Who’s there? Irish
Irish who? Irish you a happy St. Patrick’s Day!
10. Why did St. Patrick drive all the snakes out of Ireland?
He could not afford the airfare.
11. What do you call a bad Irish dance?
A jig mistake.
12. What kind of spells do Irish wizards cast?
Lucky charms.
13. Where can you always find gold?
The dictionary.
14. What do you call a fake Irish stone?
A Sham-rock.
15. What is an Irish baby’s favorite song?
Patty cake.
Leprechaun Jokes for Kids
16. Why are leprechauns good at gardening?
They have green thumbs.
17. What is a leprechaun’s favorite cereal?
Lucky Charms
18. Why can’t you borrow money from a leprechaun?
Because they’re always a little short.
19. What kind of baseball do leprechauns play?
Little League
20. Why do leprechauns hate running?
They’d rather jig than jog.
21. How did the leprechaun get to space?
In a sham-rocket
21. How can you tell if a leprechaun likes your joke?
He’s Dublin over with laughter.
23. How can you spot a jealous leprechaun?
He’s green with envy.
24. What position does the leprechaun play in baseball?
Shortstop
25. What did the leprechauns talk about on their first date?
It was just a lot of small talk
26. Which superhero is the leprechauns’ favorite?
Green Lantern
27. What is a leprechaun’s second favorite holiday?
Earth Day because they love to go green
28. Where do leprechauns like to relax
In sham-rocking chairs.
29. What did the baby leprechaun find at the end of the rainbow?
These hilarious Christmas jokes will keep the whole family laughing for hours
The weather outside may be frightful but there’s nothing like some rolling laughter and hilarious Christmas jokes to warm you right up (except, maybe cocoa). If you’re looking for the funniest Christmas jokes for kids, you’ve come to the right place. We’ve got Santa jokes, elf jokes, snowman jokes, and when you’re done, be sure to get them giggling with our ultimate list of jokes for kids, funny dad jokes, and birthday jokes.
Holiday and Christmas Jokes
1. What should you give your parents at Christmas?
A list of what you want.
2. What did the gingerbread man put under his blankets?
A cookie sheet.
3. Who delivers Christmas presents to elephants?
Elephanta Claus.
4. How does Rudolph know when Christmas is coming?
He refers to his calen-deer.
5. What happens if you eat Christmas decorations?
You get tinselitus
6. Why was the little boy so cold on Christmas morning? Because it was Decembrrrrr!
7. What do you get when you cross an iPhone with a Christmas tree?
A pine-apple!
8. What comes at the end of Christmas Day? The letter “Y!”
9. Why do mummies like Christmas so much? Because of all the wrapping!
10. Why wouldn’t the Christmas tree stand up? It had no legs.
11. Why didn’t Rudolph get a good report card? Because he went down in history.
12. Knock knock Who's there? Donut. Donut, who? Donut open the presents until Christmas!
13. What is every parent’s favorite Christmas carol?
Silent Night.
14. What's the difference between the Christmas alphabet and the regular alphabet?
The Christmas alphabet has Noel.
15. How do chickens dance at a holiday party?
Chick to chick.
16. What's a Christmas tree's favorite candy?
Orna-mints.
17. Which reindeer always gets sent to the principal's office?
Rude-olf.
18. Where do reindeer go for coffee?
Star-bucks.
19. Why did the little boy bring his Christmas tree to the hair salon?
It needs a little trim.
20. Why didn't the tree get a present?
He was knotty.
21. What do grouchy sheep say during the holidays?
Baaaaaa humbug!
22. What is a cow’s favorite holiday? Moo-years Day.
23. How do sheep wish each other happy holidays? Merry Christmas to ewe.
The school year will be starting soon! While you’re busy thinking about school lunch ideas for kids, don’t forget that there’s nothing that puts a smile on a kid’s face like a surprise note or joke tucked into their lunch box. We gathered up a few of our favorites and made printable lunchbox jokes. Click here or on the image below to print them up—we hope they brighten your student’s day!
Don’t stop with printable lunchbox jokes for kids. Check out our collection of jokes for kids below.
These back-to-school school jokes are clean enough for the classroom
Back-to-school season means saying goodbye to summer and getting ready for the next adventure, which typically includes a lot of gear like cool kids’ backpacks and new playground-ready shoes. But don’t forget to pack some funny school jokes in your kids’ back pockets, too! Our collection is filled with hilarious but cute kids’ jokes about school that will bring on belly laughs. Looking for even more giggles? Check out these extra squeaky clean jokes, printable lunchbox jokes, and math jokes. Get ready to LOL.
School Jokes about School Supplies
1. What does your computer do for lunch?
Has a byte!
2. Why do math books always look so sad?
They are full of problems.
3.Where do pencils go on vacation?
Pencil-vania.
4. What does a book do in the winter?
Puts on a jacket.
5. What did the paper say to the pencil?
Write on!
6. What did one pencil say to the other on the first day of school?
Looking sharp!
7. Knock, knock!
Who’s there?
Pencil.
Pencil who?
Never mind, this is pointless.
8. Why do calculators make great friends?
You can always count on them!
9. Where did the pencil go for vacation?
To Pennsylvania.
10. What dinosaur had the best vocabulary?
The thesaurus.
11. Who is the leader of the school supplies?
The ruler.
12. Did you know all books in the school library are the same color?
While we don’t recommend quitting your day job and taking these corny jokes on the road (do people still throw rotten tomatoes?), we do promise that if delivered with enough enthusiasm—or by an undeniably cute kid—these cheesy jokes will get some chuckles. And, when you’re done with these, be sure to share our favorite knock-knock jokes, summer jokes, funny dad jokes, and our ultimate list of jokes for kids that are always good for a laugh.
Q: Why did the cookie go to the hospital?
A: Because he felt crummy.
Q: Why did Johnny throw the clock out of the window?
A: Because he wanted to see time fly!
Q: Why was the baby strawberry crying?
A: Because his mom and dad were in a jam.
Knock, knock
Who’s there? Theodore
Theodore who? Theodore wasn’t open so I knocked.
Q: What do lawyers wear to court?
A: Lawsuits
Q: What did one toilet say to the other toilet?
A: You look flushed.
Q: Why is there a gate around cemeteries?
A: Because people are dying to get in!
Knock, knock
Who’s there?
Cows go Cows go who?
No silly, cows go MOO.
Q: Why wouldn’t the shrimp share his treasure?
A: Because he was a little shellfish.
Q: What has one head, one foot, and four legs?
A: A Bed
Q: What do you call an angry carrot?
A: A steamed veggie.
Q: What do you call a fake noodle?
A: An impasta.
Knock, knock
Who’s there? Little old lady
Little old lady who? I didn’t know you could yodel.
Q: Why shouldn’t you write with a broken pencil?
A: Because it’s pointless.
Q: Why did the man put his money in the freezer?
A: He wanted cold hard cash!
Q: What do call cheese that isn’t yours?
A: Nacho Cheese
What was the first animal in space? The cow that jumped over the moon
Ready for a mood elevator? These animal jokes for kids are the key to a good belly laugh, we guarantee it! Kids will love memorizing these jokes about dogs, cats, bees, bunnies, and even squirrels. Which one is your favorite? Need more giggles? Be sure to check out our silly spring jokes, dad jokes, and the ultimate list of jokes for kids.
1. Why aren’t dogs good dancers? They have two left feet.
2. What did the Dalmatian say after lunch? That hit the spot!
3. What do you call a duck that gets all A’s? A wise quacker.
4. Why does a seagull fly over the sea? Because if it flew over the bay, it would be a baygull.
5.What is worse than raining cats and dogs? Hailing taxis!
6.Where would you find an elephant? The same place you lost her!
7.What animal is always at a baseball game? A bat.
8. How do you get a squirrel to like you? Act like a nut!
9. What do you call two birds in love? Tweethearts!
10. What’s worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding half a worm.
11. Why don’t elephants chew gum? They do, just not in public.
12. What was the first animal in space? The cow that jumped over the moon
13. What did the banana say to the dog? Nothing. Bananas can’t talk.
14. Why did the dinosaur cross the road? Because the chicken wasn’t born yet.
15. How do you make an octopus laugh? With ten-tickles!
16.What do you call a dog magician? A labracadabrador.
17. Why couldn’t the pony sing a lullaby? She was a little horse.
18. Why do bees have sticky hair? Because they use a honeycomb.
19. What do you get when you cross an elephant with a fish? Swimming trunks.
These silly spring jokes are sure to put a smile on your face
Did you know spring showers bring more than just flowers? They also bring laughs! Besides the rainbows and tulips, these spring jokes for kids will make you more joyful about this season. If you’re looking for more springtime laughs, we’ve got Dad jokes, animal jokes, and the all-time best jokes for kids.
Spring Jokes to Grow Your Garden
1. What did the big flower say to the little one?
You’re really growing, bud!
2. What’s a baby chick’s favorite plant?
EGG-plants!
3. What did the tree say to spring?
What a re-leaf.
4. What are the most popular kinds of pickles to grow in spring?
Daffo-dills!
5. What do you get when two plants kiss?
Tulips.
6. Who is an herb’s favorite singer?
Elvis Parsley!
7. When is it impossible to plant spring flowers?
When you haven’t botany.
8. How do you know flowers are friendly?
They always have new buds.
9. What is the best flower for a boy to give his mom?
A son-flower!
10. Why is the letter A like a flower?
Because a B comes after it.
11. What did the bean say to the sprout?
“Grow up!”
Jordan Whitt via Unsplash
Jokes About the Weather
12. Name a bow that can’t be tied.
A rainbow.
13. When do monkeys fall from the sky?
During APE-ril showers.
14. What goes up when the rain comes down?
Umbrellas!
15. What did the dirt say to the rain?
If this keeps up, my name will be mud.
16. Can bees fly in the rain?
Not without their yellow jackets.
17. What do you call a bear caught in a spring shower?
A drizzly bear.
18. How can you tell the weather’s getting warmer?
People have a spring in their step.
19. Did you see that all the snow and ice are melting?
Yes, I thaw!
20. When it starts raining ducks and chickens, that’s some fowl weather!
21. How does the sun listen to its favorite music?
On the ray-dio
Christian Bowen via Unsplash
Spring Jokes That Are Just Plain Silly
22. What season is it best to go on a trampoline?
Spring time!
23. What do you call a well-dressed lion?
A dandy lion!
24. What is a spring chick after it is five months old?
Six months old.
25. What do you get when you push a bunch of Easter eggs down a hill?
Spring rolls.
26. What is Spring’s favorite appetizer?
A bloomin’ onion!
27. Why couldn’t the flower ride a bike on the first day of spring?
Yes, dad jokes for kids are a little silly, but also a lot of fun
When does a joke become a dad joke? When the punch line becomes apparent. (Har har!). You’ve cringed, laughed, and even been known to repeat them on occasion. The good news is that kids get a real kick out of them. Once you’re done with these cheesy dad jokes, try out the best jokes for kids, jokes that are good for school kids, and riddles that’ll keep the kids puzzled.
Typical Dad Jokes for Kids
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-I used to hate the hokey pokey, but I really turned myself around.
-Is the refrigerator running? Better go catch it!
(yeah, that one hurt us, too...)
-Why did the bicycle keep falling over?
It was two tired.
-What do you call a man who tells dad jokes but isn’t a dad?
A faux pa.
-Dad: I told my kids to embrace their mistakes, then they hugged me.
-I entered a pun contest. I submitted 10 of my best puns to see if any would be a win.
However, no pun in ten did...
-Hey kids, I got you Fortnite. But it will only last two weeks.
-What’s the secret to a good elevator pitch?
It has to work on many levels.
-Want to hear a long joke?
Jooooooooooooooke.
-What does a house always wear to a party?
Address.
-Charlie Chaplin and Marcel Marceau just threw microphones into the sea. Guess it’s true that great mimes sink a mic.
-Have you heard how popular the local cemetery is?
People are just dying to get in.
-Kid: I’ll call you later!
Dad: Just call me Dad!
-When does a joke become a Dad joke?
When the punch line becomes apparent.
-This pencil has two erasers. It’s totally pointless.
Food-Related Dad Jokes for Kids
iStock
-What kind of drink is bittersweet?
Reali-tea
-What do the royals put on their pancakes?
Sir Up.
-My kid just asked me "Can I have this, apple?"
Guess he doesn’t know my name is Dad.
-Dad: Did you hear the butter rumor? Well, I'm not going to spread it.
-Why Did the vegetable call the plumber?
It had a leek.
-What do you get when you coddle a cow?
Spoiled milk.
-Dad: Another word of caution. Never tell secrets near a cornfield. They’re all ears.
-How many apples are growing on that tree?
All of them.
-Why did the man buy so much yogurt?
To get cultured.
-Time to take this cookie to the hospital! It’s feeling crummy.
-Evaporated milk is confusing. There's so much liquid in it.
-Dad to kid: Where are French fries from?
Kid: France?
Dad to kid: Greece!
-Dad to kids at dinner: I would tell you my pizza joke but it’s just too cheesy.
-What do you call a band of berries playing music?
A jam session.
-How do you fix a broken tomato?
With tomato paste.
Science Dad Jokes for Kids
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-“Kara, on average, how far can a dog run into the woods?”
"Gee, Grand Dad, I don’t know.”
“Half way. After that, the dog is running out of the woods.”
—Grand Dad jokes 49-52 submitted by our hilarious reader Dave
-Did you ever notice ants don't get sick?
They're full of anti-bodies.
-I can't find the U-Cut tree farm. I'm completely stumped.
-Doctor, doctor, I'm terrified of squirrels!
[Doctor] You must be nuts.
—Jerry C., faithful reader
-Dad: This book about how Newton discovered gravity is so good! I just can’t put it down.
-What do you call a fish with four eyes?
Fiiiish!
-Why doesn’t a photon need a suitcase?
Because it’s traveling light.
-Dad to kid (in a serious voice): A word of advice, kid. Never trust atoms. They make up everything.
-How does a musician win a fight?
They call for Bach up.
-Kid: Why are you talking to yourself, Dad??
Dad: I needed an expert's advice.
-Dad: I am giving away all my batteries...free of charge!
-How do you know carrots are good for your eyesight?
Have you ever seen a bunny wearing glasses?
Did you hear the one about the claustrophobic astronaut?
He just needed a little space.
Body-Related Dad Jokes
iStock
-How do you make a Kleenex dance?
Put a little boogie in it!
-“You have a hole in your sock, Jack.”
“No, I don’t.”
“Sure you do. That’s how you got your foot in it.”
-"Wow! Chase, you sure got tall. I hope you don’t grow another foot.”
“Why not Grand Dad?”
“Because if you do, Mommy will need to buy you a third sneaker.”
-"Grand Dad, you look pretty sharp. Where did you get your haircut?”
“On my head, Shane.”
-Dad tells kids: Here’s a cautionary tale. Don’t sing in the shower!
-Kid: Dad, did you get a haircut?
Dad: No, I got them all cut.
-Dad: I never thought I’d be the type to have a beard. But then it just grew on me.
Kids: What?? Why not?
Dad: If you get soap in your mouth, it will turn into a soap opera.
Kids: GROAN!!!!!
-Kid: Dad, it hurts when I move my arm like this.
Dad: Then don’t move your arm like that.
-Why do skeletons stay so calm?
Because nothing gets under their skin.
-What do you call someone with no nose and no body?
Nobody knows.
-Did you hear about the dad who chugged 8 sodas?
He burped 7-Up.
-Kid to Dad: Why are there balloons in the bathroom?
Need some belly laughs to treat the winter blues? These winter jokes for kids are sure to turn those frowns upside down.
The weather outside might be frightful, but that doesn’t mean you can’t enjoy some laughs. These winter jokes for kids are just the thing you need to pass the time when you’re stuck indoors. When you’ve had your fill, keep the laughs going all the way to spring with even more funny jokes. We’ve got knock-knock jokes, toddler jokes, and even corny dad jokes to keep you entertained.