I was lucky to be pregnant alongside one of my best friends. She was two weeks ahead of me and we shared a philosophy: we talk about everything. On any given day, the ping-pong match that became our text thread looked a little something like this:

Her: Where did you buy your compression socks? Your OB suggested them for flights, right?

Me: Do you think it’s bad I woke up on my back?

Her: New adds for our research list: delaying the first bath, and cord blood banking. Have you looked into either?

Me: How did you know it was baby hiccups when you felt them?

You better believe I hung on every word of her OB-GYN appointment recaps too, as I waited for my own. I wanted to know how did it go, what did you learn, and most importantly… what happens next?

(Photo: Me and my pregnancy partner-in-questioning)

 

As her 40-week mark moved closer and closer, I couldn’t shake the visual that she and I were standing at the top of a giant slide. Her, ready to push off and shout to me what the ride was like, as she soared towards the bottom.

I found having her as a guide for what was ahead to be calming, and made me feel like I was in “control” (cue the laughter, I know). I’m all about sharing what worked for me in the hopes it helps someone else, so here we go!

You may already be experiencing this, but the reality is, that as your pregnancy progresses, your OB-GYN appointments begin to feel more like drive-thrus than sit-downs. And that’s exactly around the time you’ll hear phrases like posterior placenta, newborn stem cell preservation, mucus plug, and foley bulb induction.

While these are new terms for the majority of us (and they sound intimidating), they’re not to be feared or rushed through. Your appointments are your appointments after all. So, from one new mom to the next, take your time. Command the room. If you need it, bring your partner, family member or friend as reinforcement. Most of all, ask every question.

To get you started, here’s a glimpse into the notes section of my phone organized by trimester. You’ll find topics to anticipate and questions to consider before your next OB-GYN appointment, no matter where you are in your pregnancy journey. Of course, pick and choose what feels appropriate for your situation.

We’re all on this ride together, friends—and I’ll be here waiting for you at the bottom of the slide.

First Trimester (0-13 Weeks)

The newness and fragility is palpable. This is a great time to gather questions as you wait for your first appointment and ultrasound.

  • When should my partner and I get tested for our blood types?
  • Are my prenatal vitamins giving me enough of what I need?
  • Can I keep up my exercise routine throughout pregnancy?
  • Are there foods I should avoid while pregnant?
  • How do I choose pregnancy safe skincare?
  • What should I be feeling during my first trimester?
  • When do you recommend I tell my boss I’m pregnant?

Second Trimester (14-27 Weeks)

As you work through all the necessary blood work and testing, tackle some of the bigger questions around your delivery, and explore your preferences. This is a nice time for a babymoon too!

  • What pregnancy classes should I take, and when should I take them?
  • Is cramping a normal feeling while pregnant?
  • Do I really have to sleep on my left side? Is it bad to sleep on your back while pregnant?
  • Start thinking about birth intentions (I avoided the word “plan”, adds too much stress!) :
  • Can you still fly in your second trimester?
  • What can I eat before the glucose test?

Third Trimester (28-40 Weeks)

Gearing up for the homestretch! Expect more frequent doctor appointments as the weeks progress. This is your time to decide on your birth “intentions” and postpartum care.

  • How long past my due date can I go before induction? Can you ask to be induced?
  • Cervical exams during pregnancy—pros/cons? Are they elective?
  • Reminder to decide on cord blood banking! When is our deadline, and what is the cord blood storage cost?
  • What is delayed cord clamping? And why would you do it?
  • What are signs your water broke? How long after do you wait at home if it does?
  • What does a mucus plug look like?
  • Do you have pediatrician recs? When do we make our first appointment?
  • Start to freeze food! Any recommendations for the best postpartum meals?
  • What is the transition phase of labor?
  • What breast pump does my insurance cover? Should I get fitted for a breast pump now?

While there is a lot to consider (clearly!), I hope having this little list in your back pocket lets you feel prepared for your next OB-GYN appointment.

To learn more about Cord Blood Banking, and how to order a collection kit before heading to the delivery room, visit our friends at Cord Blood Registry®(CBR®).

They’re sharing promo code ‘OWTA’ with Tinybeans families to save 45% on the CBR Collection Kit!

 


A viral video of a dad fainting in the delivery room has women in stitches at what is obviously the weaker sex

We all know that men are the weaker sex, but it’s not often that we get proof. On video. But that’s what happened in a viral TikTok video that shows a dad fainting in the delivery room, because of course. While the women keep working around his limp body, because of course. And it happened before his wife had even gotten to the worst of it, because of freaking course.

New mom Corianne Johnson filmed the video, which shows her husband, Cody, crumpled on the delivery room floor. The extra hilarious part is how the labor and delivery nurses just keep carrying on around him like he’s not even there. I’m sure they’ve seen this before. In later clips in the video, Cody is seen crawling on the floor, sipping some juice, and passed out on the couch. His wife, meanwhile, continues the process of giving birth to their child.

@coriannejohnson22

He tried his best! 😂

♬ origineel geluid – Tik Toker

The text over the video reads, “I’m totally not going to pass out while you’re in labor, babe.”

Here’s the really wild part: Cody didn’t even make it to gnarly parts of delivery before fainting. He passed out while his wife was getting her epidural. That’s like being on a roller coaster and throwing up while it’s being pulled up the hill before the first drop.

Luckily, the TikTok commenters are appropriately roasting Cody.

“Not him tucked in like he had a hard day,” one wrote.

“I would have laughed so hard the baby would have just came right out.”

“The crawling has me DEAD.”

And also luckily, Corianne said he’s been taking it all in stride.

“They’re savage. We’ve just been laughing at them,” she told Today.

Better luck next time, Dad.

Famous figures like Chrissy Teigen are preserving their baby’s newborn stem cells as potential protection for their family’s future health.

Chrissy Teigen1 is an open book with her personal life. She’s shared her fertility challenges and IVF journey, she’s self-published a very raw essay about pregnancy loss, she’s given a behind-the-scenes look at mom life, and she’s even opened up about postpartum struggles.

Now, with the recent birth of her daughter Esti, the cookbook author and TV personality is once again providing the inside scoop on her family. This time on why she chose to collect and preserve both the cord blood and cord tissue from her umbilical cord at birth, a process known as newborn stem cell preservation.

As a big proponent of placing health and wellness at the center of her household, Teigen called this once-in-a-lifetime opportunity an “obvious choice” that could potentially help protect the future health of her three children.

Her belief in the potential long-term benefits of cord blood banking has since led to her partnership with Cord Blood Registry® (CBR®), the largest private newborn stem cell preservation company in the world.2

“Science is always advancing […] That whole world has always been so fascinating to me, and I’ve always wanted to be a part of it,” Teigen explained to POPSUGAR. “It’s really important for me to let other people know that this is an option and it’s something that they can do to keep their families safe and healthy for years to come.”

Keep reading to discover more about how newborn stem cell preservation with CBR may potentially help benefit your children and family’s health in the future.

Newborn Stem Cells A.K.A the Body’s Own Repair Kit

 

View this post on Instagram

 

A post shared by chrissy teigen (@chrissyteigen)

Every infant’s umbilical cord is made of tissue and contains blood. At birth, a small amount of each is still available from the umbilical cord—what’s commonly referred to as cord blood and cord tissue.

While cord blood and cord tissue are commonly collected right after a baby is born, some parents choose to leave the umbilical cord attached to their baby for a little longer, prior to clamping. This allows more time for the cord blood to flow back to their baby before collecting the newborn stem cells—a process known as delayed cord clamping.

No matter if parents decide to proceed with clamping at birth or prefer to wait until a later time, the cord blood and cord tissue are still rich in valuable newborn stem cells that have the potential to help the body heal and repair itself.

Two primary types of newborn stem cells can be obtained from cord blood and cord tissue: hematopoietic stem cells and mesenchymal stem cells. Hematopoietic stem cells, which are found in cord blood, act as blood-forming cells with the ability to self-renew. On the other hand, mesenchymal stem cells (contained in cord tissue) play a large role in experimental regenerative medicine applications, which may one day help heal and repair tissues due to its anti-inflammatory effects.2

By preserving newborn stem cells, families may have the opportunity to use them in the future. Infants are a 100% genetic match for their own stem cells and full siblings have a 75% chance of being at least a partial match.

Within the last three decades, cord blood stem cells have been used in over 45,000 stem cell transplants.3 Science continues to advance, and what we know now is that cord blood can be used to treat over 80 conditions, including blood disorders, certain cancers, immune disorders, and metabolic disorders.4

CBR: Leading the Cord Blood Industry

Before the birth of baby Esti, Teigen had her go-to hospital supplies prepped and ready to go. The then-mom of two, who was well-versed in packing a baby bag, made sure to not forget one important item, her CBR collection kit—which she added was “next to the swaddles and everything else.”

“We handed it over right in that [delivery] room,” CBR mom Teigen recalled in an interview with PEOPLE. “[The doctor] popped it open, opened a little cup, and then it was done. It couldn’t have been easier.”

Teigen, who’s preserved all three of her children’s cord blood, isn’t the only celebrity backing cord blood banking with CBR. Board-certified OB/GYN, CBR spokesperson and cord blood expert Dr. Christine Sterling has also publicly voiced the benefits of preserving newborn stem cells, while Something Navy founder Arielle Charnas and former American soccer star Kealia Watt have each shared their own stories of banking their children’s cord blood with CBR.5

Since storing over one million cord blood and cord tissue stem cell units, CBR has released over 700 cord blood units for families intended for use in life-saving transplants and other investigational therapies.6

“As a mom, I want to make sure our children have every possible option available to them,” Teigen said. “I was confident in partnering with CBR, as they are the #1 choice for parents6 and the most recommended cord blood preservation company by OB/GYNs.”7

CBR’s process of collecting newborn stem cells is simple and safe. Upon enrollment, a CBR kit is sent to your home with everything needed for collection. All you have to do is take the kit with you to the hospital (make sure to add it to your baby bag like Teigen!) where your OB/GYN or midwife handles the collection process.

After the collection, contact the provided 24/7 medical courier number to ship your kit to CBR’s lab in Arizona where it will be processed and stored.

This once-in-a-lifetime opportunity can give you peace of mind that you’ve potentially helped protect your family’s future.

 

For more information on cord blood banking and how it may be able to help you and your children, visit cordblood.com.


1Chrissy Teigen is a CBR paid ambassador.
2Fan, XL., Zhang, Y., Li, X. et al. Mechanisms underlying the protective effects of mesenchymal stem cell-based therapy. Cell. Mol. Life Sci. 77, 2771–2794 (2020). https://doi.org/10.1007/s00018-020-03454-6.5Dr. Christine Sterling, Ariella Charnas and Kealia Watt are paid CBR influencers.
3Wagner JE. Cord blood 2.0: state of the art and future directions in transplant medicine. Blood Res. 2019 Mar;54(1):7-9. doi: 10.5045/br.2019.54.1.7. Epub 2019 Mar 21. PMID: 30956957; PMCID: PMC6439299.
4Mayani, H., Wagner, J.E. & Broxmeyer, H.E. Cord blood research, banking, and transplantation: achievements, challenges, and perspectives. Bone Marrow Transplant 55, 48–61 (2020). https://doi.org/10.1038/s41409-019-0546-9.
5Dr. Christine Sterling, Ariella Charnas and Kealia Watt are paid CBR influencers.
6CBR’s internal data on file.
7Blind survey, Egg Strategy, 10/19, funded by CBR.

The use of cord blood is determined by the treating physician and is influenced by many factors, including the patient’s medical condition, the characteristics of the sample, and whether the cord blood should come from the patient or an appropriately matched donor. Cord blood has established uses in transplant medicine; however, its use in regenerative medicine is still being researched. There is no guarantee that potential medical applications being studied in the laboratory or clinical trials will become available.

Cord tissue use is still in early research stages, and there is no guarantee that treatments using cord tissue will be available in the future. Cord tissue is stored whole. Additional processing prior to use will be required to extract and prepare any of the multiple cell types from cryopreserved cord tissue. Cbr Systems, Inc.’s activities for New York State residents are limited to collection of umbilical cord tissue and long-term storage of umbilical cord–derived stem cells. Cbr Systems, Inc.’s possession of a New York State license for such collection and long-term storage does not indicate approval or endorsement of possible future uses or future suitability of these cells.

A woman’s viral TikTok video calling out bad mother-in-law behavior is all the evidence we need for allowing moms to ban anyone from the delivery room

The moment your child is born (and all the time you spend in labor leading up to it) should be a special memory that you treasure with your most loved people—your partner, maybe your own mom, and whoever else you choose to allow in the delivery room. The key word here is “choose”—one woman is going viral on TikTok for sharing her birth story, and how a couple of uninvited (by her) guests ruined the entire memory for her. It’s enough to make any mom see red.

Bramty Juliette, a social media influencer, podcaster, and mom of three, shared the story on her podcast, BRAMTEA, which she co-hosts with her husband, Luis Espina.

@bramty

Mother in law ruins my birth experience!! 😭BRAMTEA the Podcast. MAY 4TH! ☕️

♬ original sound – Bramty

When she was 19 years old and pregnant with their first daughter, Bramty explains how there were only two people she wanted in the room with her when she gave birth: Luis and her mom. But Luis wanted his own mom to be present, too, and he insisted on it, despite his wife’s wishes. And when the time came, he also invited his aunt in, which, oof.

“When you give birth, it’s about the wife, it’s about the mom,” Bramty said, adding that at the time, Luis didn’t agree. “She’s the only one giving birth. She’s the one going through things physically and mentally. Whatever she’s comfortable with is most important. But you didn’t have that mentality. You had your mom’s back most of the time.”

So when her water broke and she headed to the hospital, Bramty found herself in a room with Luis, her mom, his mom, and his aunt. And that’s not even the worst part.

“I remember your mom and your aunt taking pictures of my vagina while I was pushing,” she said. “Then later find out that your aunt had sent those pictures to family members.”

Excuse me, they what? In what world is that an appropriate thing to do?

The commenters basically exploded with all the rage we’re feeling right now.

“I would have lost my mind,” one wrote. Another added, “That’s sounds so traumatizing. I’m so sorry you had to go through that as your first labor experience.”

Let this be the story that finally settles this debate: the only person who gets a say in who is in the room during a birth is the person giving birth. During such a vulnerable time, they deserve to feel safe, loved, and supported. Full stop.

Jason Kelce’s wife shows how labor can be for dads while their wives do all the hard work

Going into labor means a lot of hard work ahead—for moms, anyway. For dads who accompany their partner to the hospital, well, it can mean a lot of waiting (in addition to playing a vital support role, of course). In a viral TikTok video, NFL player Jason Kelce’s wife, Kylie, hilariously called him out for his version of “support” while she was in labor with their third baby.

“My husband crushes the role of labor support person,” she wrote in the caption. The text overlay on the video adds, “Three ways my husband was a tremendous support person while I was in labor,” over a video of Travis peacefully snoozing in a corner of the delivery room. The camera pans across the room to reveal the first way: he brought his own fan to the hospital, which is perched on the end of Kylie’s bed, blowing gently on his face as he catches those Z’s.

@kyliekelce

My husband crushes the role of labor support person.

♬ Spongebob Tomfoolery – Dante9k Remix – David Snell

Next, the video shows Jason taking a massive bite of a bagel sandwich, with the text overlay reading, “2. Made sure he didn’t miss a meal (even though I wasn’t allowed to eat anything).”

Finally, the third way is “Stayed well rested,” over yet another video of Jason fast asleep in the delivery room.

Kylie makes it clear that she’s joking when she ends the video with a sweet shot of Jason cuddling their newborn daughter, Bennett. The two also share daughters Wyatt, 3, and Elliotte, 2.

In an upcoming episode of the YouTube series “Last Meals,” Jason gives his side of the story.

“I was doing a lot of sleeping. There’s not much you can do,” he says, laughing, in a preview video shared by People. “You try and get water when your wife is running out of things. ‘Is there anything I can do? Can I go grab things?’ Outside of that, it’s a lot of sitting around waiting for the fireworks to get going.”

As for his giant bagel sandwich, he added, “I think the mistake that a lot of dads make, when your wife goes into labor—a lot of times you’re sitting around all day. You haven’t eaten anything all day. And this is why I think a lot of guys pass out. Seriously, their blood sugar levels are low, man. That’s why I’m eating bagels. That’s why I’m trying to get all of this food down. I want to be there.”

There you have it. Dads are crucial in that support role for their partners, but as the old saying goes, you have to put your own oxygen mask on first.

If you’ve attended a childbirth class or talked with a brand-new mom, there are plenty of things you’ve undoubtedly heard about—from pain-control options (hello, epidurals!) to that sweet moment you first hold your baby—but you might be surprised to learn there are details about giving birth no one seems to talk about. Keep reading as we shine a light on ten of those rarely discussed labor and delivery secrets.

iStock

1. Anyone may deliver your baby.
Okay, not literally anyone…unless, of course, you have a side-of-the-highway baby. (Quick! Knock on wood.) But keep in mind that your OB or midwife may not be the person to deliver your baby. Because of how doctors and midwives schedule their shifts, it’s possible that someone you have never met may be on call on D-Day. Rest assured, you’re in good hands, and though it may seem hard to believe now, when you get to that stage of labor, you won’t care who delivers your baby.

2. Your birth plan may take a turn.
When you’re expecting your first baby or two, you may head to the hospital with a birth plan in hand, typed clearly and concisely in 12-point font detailing all of your wishes for the birth. But don’t be surprised if at some point in your labor, all of those “musts” seem to fade into oblivion and are replaced in bold font, all caps with GET THIS BABY OUT.

3. Total strangers seeing you totally naked will seem totally normal.
Unless your past includes time spent in a nudist colony or you have a special affinity for skinny-dipping, chances are the thought of being bare-butt naked in front of strangers probably makes your toes curl. But when the transition phase of labor hits, we can all but guarantee you’ll throw caution—and your hospital gown—to the wind. If the thought is discomfiting, take heart: Baby will be in a birthday suit, too, so at least you’ll be in good company.

iStock

4. You have an alter ego.
When your labor amps up, you may find you have a hidden drama queen or foul-mouthed sailor living inside of you. You might make animal noises so impressive you would put a drama student in a performance of the Lion King to shame. (Yes, growling or even roaring like a ferocious animal happens in the delivery room.) Or, you might find that you suddenly have a new and expanded vocabulary not fit for tiny ears. (Don’t worry, baby is well-insulated in the birth canal.)

5. The nurses may ask if you want a mirror.
And, they aren’t wondering if you want to check your makeup. In the middle of the most dramatic, life-changing (not to mention painful) moment of your life, a nurse could ask if you would like a mirror to see baby crowning. Some women do; some women really don't. You do you.

6. Everyone poops.
Especially moms in labor. While you may feel nonplussed at the thought now, it’s actually a good thing! It means you’re using the right muscles to push that baby out into the world. In the moment, it won’t even register on your embarrassment radar, and your childbirth team have seen it all before.

iStock

7. You go through delivery twice.
We’re not talking about twins! If you’ve ever sat through a childbirth video, you know it typically ends a few moments after baby enters the world. So what you don’t see (and your OB or midwife may never mention prior to delivery) is that you will have a baby-size, liver-like organ come out of you within an hour of your little one making his or her entrance into the world. But don’t worry, though mildly uncomfortable, the placenta-expelling process only lasts a minute or two. (Also, be prepared for the nurses to ask if you would like the save the nutrient-rich organ. Post-hospital placenta smoothie, anyone?)

8. You don’t leave the hospital wearing your own underwear.
We’ve all seen those photos of a celebrity walking out of the hospital after giving birth, holding a newborn baby and sporting perfectly coiffed hair and heels. (Kate Middleton, we’re looking at you!) It’s easy to forget that underneath that glam exterior is sure to be…mesh, boy-short-style underwear. Yep, it’s true. The reason? You will likely bleed for weeks after delivery. Mesh panties, giant maxi pads and postpartum cold packs, also known as “padsicles,” will become your new BFFs. And, while you may have heard about the possibility of going period-free for a while after giving birth, keep in mind you could get your period as soon as four weeks post-partum.

9. How quickly you may (or may not) forget.
People like to say that you quickly “forget all the pain” once baby arrives. For those who don’t experience that euphoric selective amnesia, the events surrounding your labor and delivery, particularly if complicated, may stay fresh in your mind for months or even years after. That clear recollection can trigger a sort of PTSD (not to be confused with postpartum depression) that includes emotional distress, flashbacks and even physical responses, like sweating, nausea or trembling. Apparently, birth is the one time a forgetful memory is a positive thing!

10. Everyone bonds differently.
The first moment you hold your baby may be forever etched in your memory. Or, it may be a blur. You may be instantly overcome with love for your baby, or it may take time to develop a connection with this new human being. There is no right or wrong way to experience motherhood. Every baby is different. Every mama is different. And how you experience each other for the first time through labor, delivery and those first moments of your new life together will be, too. 

—Suzanna Palmer

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Nick Carter and wife Lauren are parents—for the third time! The couple recently announced the birth of their baby, following some minor complications.

The former boy-bander posted an Instagram pic from the hospital showing himself dressed in delivery room blues.

Hours later Carter tweeted a birth announcement, writing, “We are proud to announce that our baby has officially arrived.” The Backstreet Boy continued, “But as a parent knows all to very well, sometimes things don’t turn out the way you plan it. We have been experiencing some minor complications but things are looking a little better after the first night.”

Earlier this year Carter’s wife Lauren opened up to PEOPLE about the road to this pregnancy and the couple’s multiple miscarriages, “I was fully set on just having two children and I had prepared for that and made arrangements for that.” Lauren added, “We were going to have two children and it was a surprise. I didn’t find out I was pregnant till I was about five-and-a-half months pregnant. I didn’t have any symptoms; I didn’t have anything indicating that I was pregnant.”

The newest baby joins the couple’s five-year-old son Odin Reign and 18-month-old daughter Saoirse.

—Erica Loop

Featured photo: Kathy Hutchins via Shutterstock

 

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Photo: Victoria Rosenberg

I’ve thought about writing this out a thousand times.

And I’ve tried to, just about as often. Writing is how I process and share. Over the past few years, reading the stories and experiences of others, whether through blog posts or Instagram captions, has changed my life. I know that sounds dramatic, but so be it. 

At first, in the early days after my son’s diagnosis, I couldn’t write and share because it would make it too real. It wasn’t the endless assessments and specialist appointments and forms to fill out, but seeing my own words, my own experience written out—it was too much. I also struggled with the fact that this is my son’s story. I am a supporting cast member, one who will never be able to understand his daily struggles, the amount of work and effort required to do what others consider simple daily tasks. That this is his story to share when, hopefully, he is one day able to. Who am I to broadcast his diagnosis and daily life to the world?

Who am I? I’m his Mom. His advocate. His haven. The second I saw the positive on the pregnancy test. The first ultrasound where this little bean on the screen was floating around. The first flutter. The first second after the doctor placed him on my chest in the delivery room and I didn’t know what else to say but to introduce myself as his Mommy and tell him how much I absolutely love him. Twenty months later, I sat in the developmental pediatrician’s office, listening to her relay what I had been trying to bring to the attention of everyone for months. Then she spoke the words that confirmed everything I already knew. The first (and likely last) time I hated being proven right.

I told myself over and over again that just because he now had the diagnosis of Autism Spectrum Disorder nothing changed. He was still the exact same amazing little boy that he was seconds before the doctor had said the words out loud. We stepped outside and the sky was still blue, people continued along their day and other than the fact that the questions in my heart now had answers and the doubt was replaced by fear, life continued on. Four and a half years later and I’ve remained a spectator to the stories of others. I devour blog posts and articles, Instagram accounts dedicated to the lives of other families going through similar journeys to ours and anything I can find. I crave community and the ability to say, “us too!” but never put myself out there.

Recently in the middle of meltdowns or IEP meetings or while consulting with therapists, when I feel like no one else understands, I’ve come to discover it’s because of me. How could anyone else ever understand us when I don’t share? When I don’t offer my story or my experiences? I’ve only been more than happy to sit back and benefit from those brave families who do share. So while this is his story and I will never, ever even attempt to speak for him, my brave and incredible son, who I am so in awe of every single day, and what it means to be him, it’s also a part of my story.

This is for those Moms who just received their child’s diagnosis and aren’t ready to open up but desperately need to know they aren’t the only ones in the world with this new journey ahead of them. I’m adding my voice to the ring and to let you know you aren’t alone. While our children have endless people entering their lives now in the form of specialists, therapists, teachers, doctors and more, and while the spotlight is rightfully shone on them as they begin to navigate their way through supports and programs with you by their side, the need for a community for us—the caregivers, parents, and siblings—is just as important.

Whether you find that community in your neighborhood, on Instagram or through posts like this one, find it and hold on to it. I won’t end this with one of the trillion things people always feel compelled to say upon learning of a diagnosis, I won’t even say I understand because my son’s Autism is not your child’s Autism. All I’ll say is that you’re not alone because sometimes that’s really all we need to hear. 

This post originally appeared on Itsy Bitsy Balebusta.
Victoria Rosenberg
Tinybeans Voices Contributor

I usually go by Mommy, but you can call me Victoria! I have two sons and a daughter and spend my days navigating the adventures of motherhood! With a focus on special needs, I hope to help those who feel alone or overwhelmed, find their village!

Dear Confessional,

I don’t think you’re officially a new mommy if you haven’t been “dumped” on at some point. Let’s face it—the only difference between a new frazzled and overtired mom who has a hard time leaving the house before lunchtime and a mom with multiple kids who “seems” to have everything together, is experience.

We parents have to stick together and help each other out. That’s why I have compiled my top 10 list of dirty truths for new and expectant parents. For those of you who are knee-deep in parenting, enjoy the read and knowing that you’re not alone.

1. Projectile Poop

No matter how soiled your baby becomes, always keep the bottom covered, even while cleaning. From a happy and peaceful baby to a Niagara Falls of sprayed liquid feces, no parent wants to have a face- or wardrobe-full of unexpected milky-poo. Been there, done that more times than I’d like to admit.

2. Spit-ups

Babies are adorable, especially when they’re full and content. Bouncing them high in the air is almost irresistible, especially for friends/family excitedly waiting for you to pass the happy baby. Unless you want a mouthful or eyeful of baby vomit, make sure to wait until your sweet baby digests.

This scenario is so nasty and so common that you’ll be laughing at the stupidity of the choice in bouncing high after a full tummy. Even if you have a SuperBaby that rarely spits up, make sure to use those little burp cloths over your shoulder after a feed. More often than you realize, you are likely wearing a stream of “cottage cheese” down the back of your shirt or hair.

3. Pee in the Face

Dear Moms of baby boys, you will likely get sprayed during a diaper change a few too many times. Word to the wise: cover the hose before you set it free after opening a diaper.

4. First Bath

Baths, especially the first one, can be particularly unnerving. Regardless of what country you live in and what method you choose for bathing, the best tip I can offer for avoiding a screaming and uncomfortable baby is room temperature. Whether you have a radiator in your bathroom or can comfortably pre-heat the room with steam, the key to a happy baby is keeping the room temperature warm and even covering the baby’s body with a warm, damp towel during bath time.

5. Rubber Nips

Breastfeeding hurts in the beginning, no doubt. Whichever way you choose to feed your baby, by formula, breastmilk, or a combo of both, bravo—no judgement whatsoever. However, those of you who choose to breastfeed, just remember that both baby AND mommy are learning. The beginning hurts and you will likely bleed and scab a bit. You may tear up and cry, and then wonder if it’s possible to go on. Just remember, 3 weeks. My sister once advised me to hold out 3 weeks and it held true with all of my 4 munchkins. The first 3 weeks are not pleasant, but then when the scabs heal and baby and mommy figure it all out, it’s like your boobs turn into magical rubber baby bottles and all is well again.

6. Opposite Day

For some reason, Muphy’s Law (also known as “Opposite Day” in my house) loves to pay moms a visit when crunched for time, during family vacations, and with visiting family/friends. If you’re in a rush, expect a last minute explosive poop to throw you off track. When you finally get dressed in a cool outfit, your baby may just think it needs some spit-up on it to make it awesome. If your family is visiting and your kids are ready to show their best manners, no worries, this simple formula will almost always kick in.

Late nights + early mornings + nonstop activity = over-zealous, over-emotional children + frequent couple bickering + overtired mommy

After a barrage of judgement and wallowing, the only thing to do is let it all go and turn around the vibe with a strong and fun finish.

7. Mission of Intuition

Parenting life nearly always comes with a bag of unwanted opinions and how-to’s. Even if you’re a new mom up against the opinion of a parent with numerous kids, take all suggestions with the confidence that you are NOT a bad parent if you choose not to follow or agree. All kids ARE different and not robots, you know your child best, so whether you’re in the delivery room or elbow-deep in motherhood, remember to trust your instinct!

8. New Chompers

New teeth are no fun for fussy and pained babies, much less the parents who are up all night crying along. Top teeth, canines, and molars are the most painful. Teething seems like an endless journey of runny noses, runny poop, drooling mouths, bibs, and lots of tears, but hang in there… this too shall pass. If you’re still breastfeeding, make sure to let your baby know not to bite by pulling away and saying “no” before continuing to feed. Being bit is no laughing matter.

9. Feeding Frenzy

No matter if you have a baby, toddler, or teenager, new foods usually come with some resistance—the texture, the color, the smell, the taste—new is not always received well. Just like a baby trying a new food, repetition is key. Hang in there and remember that it may take a dozen tries before your kid accepts and loves the new food, especially if he/she sees the parent love it too. Also, please don’t compare your baby’s eating habits, weight, or table manners to others. All babies are different and so are their growth patterns, behaviors, and food preferences.

10. Speak Up

Even if your love for your baby is endless, your energy can’t run on empty. Refuel your mind and heart with sleep, even if you need to ask for help. The “sleep when the baby sleeps” theory doesn’t work when you have a pile of laundry and dishes waiting, haven’t showered in a week, or slept a solid 3 hours in a row. Ask for help. Also, once you become a parent, make sure to speak up when something doesn’t seem right or you don’t agree. Now as a parent, it’s time to stop mousing around and step up your game.

The mother-load is all about a flurry of oops and ah-ha moments in learning how to manage, self-correct, and try again. Real motherhood isn’t typically glamorous and relaxing—it’s a myriad of messy, hectic, tiring, stressful, and chaotic moments, mixed in with too many opinions, family judgements, and a ton of guilt. It is also a collection of unforgettable milestones, laughter, soul-searching, pride to the point of tears, falling apart to build again even stronger, time-management, and re-prioritizing. It’s an incredibly wonderful and exhausting journey every single step along the way.

with Love,

Ruthi

P.S. Don’t forget to comment with your own experience and share with someone who could use a laugh and/or a boost. xo

Ruthi Davis is a the Founder of Ruth Davis Consulting LLC with over two decades of success in advertising/marketing, media/publicity, business development, client relations, and organizational optimization for a variety of clients. Ruthi is a proud mom and influencer in the parenting and family market as founder of the Superfly Supermom brand.

Our new series, Tiny Birth Stories, is aimed at sharing real-life stories from our readers to our readers. In just 100 words or less, we’re bringing you the raw, the funny and the heartwarming stories you’ve lived while bringing babies into the world. Here are five stories that will have you laughing, crying and nodding your head in solidarity. 

Interested in telling your birth story? Click here

 

How Giving Birth Gave Me Fulfillment by Tracy M.

They say motherhood changes you in ways you couldn’t have imagined. We had our first son at 33 weeks and spent 5 long weeks in the NICU. That experience solidified what was most important and challenged my career choice as consultant that travelled for work. It gave me the courage to grow my family and business in a way that was right for me. If you can relate and have felt that same pull, to do things differently, explore it. Fulfillment comes when we connect with what truly matters. Motherhood changed me. It kept me honest when I was brave enough to listen.

 

I Delivered In A COVID Isolation Room by Alyssa M. 

Nothing can quite prepare you for giving birth during a pandemic. I already had a ton of anxiety going into the hospital, then to find out all the L&D rooms were full. Because labor progressed quickly, nurses began telling me to prepare to give birth in triage. Instead, I was moved to a COVID isolation room. They rushed me down an empty hall, through plastic barriers, and into an empty room. Nurses built the delivery room around me as I began pushing (with a mask on, of course). A few minutes later, I was holding my perfectly healthy baby boy.

 

Add An Injured Pelvis On-Top Of Labor by Elizabeth C. 

Baby 2: Fell while 8 months pregnant. Unable to walk, or stand (or move really) without excruciating pain. Baby was fine, my pelvis was just messed up. Wheelchair bound for the final month. Scheduled an induction once my due date came and went. Showed up for the doctors to tell me I was technically already in labor and all their plans to induce no longer needed since my cervix was already so wide. Proved it when their balloon fell right through. I guess I couldn’t tell from all the other pain I was in. 10 hours later and, I do not lie, 5 minutes of pushing later, baby.

 

Unexpectedly Getting The Birth I Wanted by Kat C. 

I wanted a home birth with a drum circle of strong mamas in active labor. I got a rooftop BBQ with friends. When I gingerly squatted to play with toddlers my friend (a doula) gently suggested I head home and call my midwife en route – I did, pausing every 1/2 block for contractions. Baby was born two hours later with me crouching over our hope chest. Life has a way of giving you what you want, in unexpected ways.

 

The Emotions Of Becoming A Mother by Courtney C.

Excited. Anxious. Scared. Words to describe emotions of this first time mom going into labor. The night before I was scheduled to be induced, 41 weeks pregnant, I started feeling contractions close enough together. When my husband and I got to the hospital, we waited thirteen hours until it was time to push. The epidural was only somewhat successful, but the pain was minimal compared to the amount of joy experienced when that 8 pound 12 ounce boy was born. Sometimes the smallest things take up the most room in our hearts. An experience that was beautiful, precious, and unforgettable.