I hear “I’m fine” a lot throughout my days. If you are a parent of a pre-teen girl, I am sure that you do, too.

“How are you?”

“I’m fine.”

“Do you want any help?”

“No, I’m fine.”

“You seem really upset. Let’s talk.”

“I said, I’m fine.”

It’s hard to be shut out like this and left on the outside of her experiences, helpless and defeated.

One thing I’ve learned and what I know for sure about girls is this: “I’m fine” could mean she’s fine but rarely does. “I’m fine” can mean “I don’t want to talk about it.” “I’m fine” can mean “I’m okay but I could be better.” “I’m fine” can mean “I really want to tell you but I just don’t know how.” And “I’m fine” can mean “I will talk about it but not right now.” Thus, “I’m fine” has become the secret code for what’s really going on for her and a code we must try to crack (carefully and with all the empathy we can muster).

If we imagine being a teen girl (just for a minute), this response makes sense: She wants to be independent of us and figure life out on her own. A pre-teen is all about keeping up her appearance of “I’ve got this.” She also wants to safeguard herself from, well, us: our judgment, our advice, and sometimes our unintentional intrusion. These words are automatic, unrehearsed responses to our queries and they do the job—they keep us at bay from what she’s really feeling and her true inner experience.

What’s a parent to do when your eyes tell you she needs your help and yet her words tell you she is just fine without you? Here are some ideas for you to try to get more from her “I’m fine” and help her to shift to “I feel.”

Be aware of your tone of voice.

Girls are super sensitive to variations in tone of voice. Did you know girls can hear a wider spectrum of emotional tone in another’s voice than boys can? And that their detection becomes even greater with the hormonal changes that accompany adolescence? (You can read more about that in The Female Brain by Louann Brizendine.)

So if we come to her with anything but genuine sincerity and care, she will feel it and not want to talk. Try to use warm words of kindness with phrases such as, “This must be hard for you…” and “It seems like there is something on your mind. I’d really love to hear about it and simply listen to you.”

Change your questions to get different answers.

We all fall into the trap of asking these two expected questions: “How are you today?” and “How was your day?” which set us up for the inevitable responses of “fine” and “good.” Think about asking more creative, out-of-the-box questions, such as “What was the best part of your day?, “What are you most proud of accomplishing,” or “If you had a chance to redo any part of your day, which part would you choose to do over?”

Give her space.

Her worry is our worry—this is called parenting. I know many parents who want to force conversations and answers because they care so much. But pushing her to talk about our timing when she’s not ready can be damaging to the relationship and may just lock the door on future conversations.

If she wants to take her time and decompress after a busy day, allow her to do just that. Reassure her you want to talk and let her know when you’ll be around. If you can, even plant the seed of connection by conveying to her you are up for a walk to get ice cream or you’d love to watch a movie on Netflix with her for some relaxation (and who knows, maybe the conversation will emerge naturally).

Help her find her words.

When she’s ready to talk, help her tell her story by giving her the words she needs. It’s hard for her to articulate what’s happening internally, and she may benefit from your suggestions. “Today, I noticed…” “This made me feel…” “I feel this way because…” and “This is what I need…” These prompts may just get her talking to you, and in the future, she may be able to find these words on her own.

We know it’s not always easy to be a growing girl, and “I’m fine” is a quick way to cover up the challenges of her day. Yet, when we help her move beyond that phrase to truly express herself, we are emboldening her with the confidence and competence that comes with self-expression. At the same time, we are learning to better understand what’s really on her mind.

Originally published April 2020.

I am a girl advocate and girls champion; the founder of Bold New Girls, teaching and coaching for girls and their parents. As well, I am the author Growing Strong Girls and Rooted, Resilient, and Ready (available on Amazon and Audible). I am an international speaker and an instructor with Udemy. 

Sunburn is a literal pain. Now there is a way to take the guesswork out of knowing when to reapply your sunscreen. SPOTMYUV is the first clinically proven UV detection sticker that can tell you if your sunscreen is working. 

The small clear SPOTs go on clear and change to purple to let you know when the SPF has worn away. The color change is reversible, so they will last through multiple sunscreen applications.

 

You can wear SPOTs on any part of the body where skin is exposed. The SPOTs are waterproof, sweat-resistant, hypoallergenic and will last all day. SPOTMYUV’s patented dermatrue skin mimicking technology allows sunscreen to wear off the sticker at the same rate as it wears off your skin as you run, play and swim. These are perfect to throw in your bag or you kid’s camp backpack. 

 

—Jennifer Swartvagher

Photos courtesy of SPOTMYUV

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It’s the song that toddlers helped turn into an earworm overnight, “Baby shark, doo doo doo doo doo doo…” Now your kids can dance along with their favorite shark friend. Come fall, you’ll be able to transform your playroom into a dance floor with the Pinkfong Baby Shark Dancing DJ. We got a preview at Toy Fair 2020 and snagged a video, too! Scroll down to see him dance. 

The Dancing DJ plays five fun Baby Shark songs and popular remixes, including the viral Baby Shark song. With dance detection technology, Baby Shark dances when your child dances. This toy also features two dance games to get your kids up off their feet: Baby Shark Dance Off and Freeze Dance. 

The Pinkfong Baby Shark Dancing DJ will be available in Fall 2020 for $39.99. 

—Jennifer Swartvagher

 

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From Christmas tree safety to keeping tabs on your kids in the mall, these savvy products are designed with for your peace-of-mind this holiday season. Scroll down for five products that are solving common holiday safety concerns in innovative ways.

The Twist and Seal Holiday Light Combo Safety Pack

Twist and Seal

This clever invention is designed to protect your holiday light cords from rain and snow. The pack contains five Twist and Seal Minis, specifically made to fit Christmas and holiday light power cord connections; as well as one Twist and Seal Cord Protect, which provides heavy duty extension cord protection for home and garden use (i.e that cord your running from the house or garage to hook up those blow-up snowmen). Connections stay dry all season and it helps prevent shock and tripped outlets. 

Get it at twistandseal.com for $29.95

The Neighbors App by Ring

Ring

Using your address, Ring's Neighbors App creates a radius around your home for you to get safety updates on your phone or tablet (you can customize this radius to be more narrow or expand it). You can also comment on the updates to share additional info. Add safety info yourself and your neighborhood will receive instant notification. Community members can share photos and videos as well. The Neighbors App also partners with local law enforcement to get the most recent updates. It’s a modern-day, real-time neighborhood watch program, right in your pocket. You can be on the lookout for package thefts, break-ins and more even when you aren’t home. 

Learn more at ring.com/neighbors, free! 

Safer Christmas Tree Alarm

Safer Alarms

This little ornament from Safer Alarms works as a sensor right at the source; it hangs on the tree and immediately detects fire danger. It also recognized temperatures hitting the “danger zone” and transmits a signal wirelessly to the alarm unit (included).unit. It literally installs in seconds, includes free Amazon tech support, and has multi-year battery life (takes AA batteries, not included). 

Learn more at saferalarmsinc.com

Buy on Amazon, $69.99

Master Lock Outdoor Bluetooth Padlock

Master Lock

Safeguard packages against theft by using the Master Lock Outdoor Bluetooth® Padlock on a box or container on your porch. The lock allows you to set temporary directional codes via a smartphone app based on date/time of delivery.. Simply include temporary codes in delivery instructions during online checkout, and then reset the code once delivery is complete. You can also monitor when the lock is being locked or unlocked. 

Buy it online at masterlock.com, $163

Momentum’s Robbi 1080P Smart Camera

Momentum

At just under $40 at Walmart right now, (regular retail price is $99.99) this camera is a great investment for anyone traveling during the holidays. It has motion detection and mobile alerts to let you know exactly what’s happening in your home. It has 130-degree viewing and a 360° hinge, built-in infrared LED for clear day and night vision, motion and sound detection, customizable mobile alerts, two-way audio, a remote alarm, 24-hour video playback and more. They also make the Momentum Knok Video Doorbell, which at $130 and offers a way for you to keep an eye on your front door with a live video feed. 

Learn more at momentum.com

Shop at walmart.com, $38.99

BoxLock

BoxLock

BoxLock is an internet-connected padlock that only opens when a delivery driver scans your shipping label—and only active shipping labels at that. It's compatible with all shipping carriers in the US, so no matter who you're expecting a delivery from, your package is safe. Just add the lock to a storage box, small shed or any container where you can close with a padlock. They even have boxes for you to choose from

Learn more at getboxlock.com 

Buy it on amazon, $129.99

Relay

Relay

Whether it’s walking home afterschool or shopping in a busy mall, this smartphone alternative for kids allows you to know where your kids are at all times. It’s basically a first-phone for kids that allows kids to send and receive messages, features GPS tracking with Geofencing (you can get an alert when your kids arrive home, school, etc.) and a Missed Message feature to make sure you never miss a message from your kiddos. Kids can’t get on the internte or get distracted by a screen, but there are fun features for them like a joke of the day and language translator. Kids cannot dial 911 but they can send SOS Emergency Alerts to pre-approved contacts. It has both a clip feature and an arm band. 

Learn more at relay.com, $42

—Amber Guetebier

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The U.S. Food and Drug Administration recently announced an expansion of a previous recall for 5 and 25-pound bags of Unbleached All -Purpose King Arthur Flour due to E. coli concerns.

If you have this flour in your kitchen, read on for more information about the recall.

Recalled Product: King Arthur Flour

The recall includes 5 and 25-pound bags of Unbleached All-Purpose Flour milled by ADM Milling Company and distributed by King Arthur Flour. The bags of flour were sold nationwide via the company’s website, catalog and at retail stores.

Why the Flour Was Recalled

The flour was recalled after the detection of E. coli bacteria during sampling. As of now there are no reported illnesses. This recall is an expansion of a previous one issued on Jun. 13, 2019.

According to a representative from King Arthur Flour, in an emailed statement, “Though there’s little that’s comforting about a recall, regardless of whether it’s voluntary, we hope that notices like this one help bakers better understand the importance of following safe handling practices for flour, including never eating raw dough.”

The rep added, “For over 225 years, King Arthur Flour has been committed to providing our community with superior flour and baking ingredients which embrace the utmost integrity. Though the safe handling of flour is a practice we stress that everyone should follow, we are always aggressively pursuing new options and emerging technologies to mitigate the inherent risk that comes with flour as a raw ingredient.”

Photos: Courtesy of the U.S. Food and Drug Administration 

How to Tell If Your Flour Was Recalled

This recall only includes specific lots of King Arthur Unbleached All-Purpose Flour produced before February 2019. Refer to the Lot Code and Best Used By dates to identify affected products. The full list of codes and dates is available from the FDA here or from King Arthur Flour here. The code and date are located on the bottom of the ingredient list on the package’s side panel of the bag.

What Consumers Should Do

Do not use or eat the flour. Throw the flour away and submit a claim for a replacement or refund through the King Arthur Flour website here. Consumers can also call the King Arthur Flour Consumer Hotline at 866-797-9178.

—Erica Loop

 

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Recall Alert: General Mills Gold Medal Unbleached All Purpose Flour

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The U.S. Food and Drug Administration recently announced a voluntary recall of five-pound bags of General Mills Gold Medal Unbleached All Purpose Flour due to E. coli contamination concerns. Representatives from General Mills did not immediately return Red Tricycle’s request for comment.

If you think you have this product in your home, read on for important recall information.

photo: Courtesy of U.S. Food and Drug Administration

Recalled Product Description: Gold Medal Unbleached All Purpose Flour

The recall includes five-pound bags of Gold Medal Unbleached All Purpose Flour with a “better if used by” date of Sep. 6, 2020. According to a statement made by General Mills, “This recall only affects this one date code of Gold Medal Unbleached All Purpose Flour five-pound bags. All other types of Gold Medal Flour are not affected by this recall.”

Why the Flour Was Recalled

General Mills issued the recall following the detection of E. coli O26 during sampling of the five-pound bag product. As of now, there are no reported illnesses or adverse effects due to the potential contamination.

This strain of E. coli is potentially fatal and can cause bloody diarrhea and dehydration—especially in the very young, elderly and anyone with a compromised immune system.

How To Tell If Your Flour Was Recalled

Only the five-pound bags of Gold Medal Unbleached All Purpose Flour with the “better if used by” date of Sep. 6, 2020 are part of the recall. Check the use by date to see if your flour was recalled. The date on the packaging will read “06SEP2020KC.” The affected product has the UPC code 000-16000-19610-0.

What Consumers Should Do

If you have the recalled product, don’t use it. Throw the flour away and contact General Mills via the company’s website here or at 1-800-230-8103 with questions or for a replacement coupon.

—Erica Loop

 

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Recall Alert: Entenmann’s Little Bites Chocolate Chip Cookies Recalled for Potential Choking Hazard

The U.S. Food and Drug Administration recently announced a recall for Entenmann’s Little Bites Soft Cookies in the five-pack Mini Chocolate Chip variety. The recall was issued following the detection of blue plastic pieces in the packaging pouches—and not the cookies. Representatives from Bimbo Bakeries USA, the manufacturer of the cookies, did not immediately return Red Tricycle’s request for comment.

Bimbo Bakeries did issue a press statement, noting, “The company announced the recall after receiving consumer reports of visible, blue plastic pieces found on or
packaged with the product. There are no reports of injury to date.”

photo: Courtesy of the U.S. Food and Drug Administration 

Recalled Product Description: Little Bites Cookies

The recall includes Entenmann’s Little Bites Soft Baked Chocolate Chip Cookies in the five-pack. The affected cookies have best by dates from Aug. 31 to Sep. 7, 2019, the lot code 1350 and the UPC code 7203002378.

The cookies were sold in these states: AL, AR, CT, DC, DE, FL, GA, IA, IL, IN, KS, KY, LA, MA, MD, ME, MI, MN, MO, MS, NC, ND, NE, NH, NJ, NY, OH, OK, PA, RI, SC, SD, TN, VA, VT, WI and WV.

Why the Cookies Were Recalled

The recall was issued after blue plastic pieces were found in the cookie’s pouches. According to the Bimbo Bakeries press release, the plastic was introduced during the packaging process. Even though the plastic is not directly baked into the cookies, it could still pose a choking risk.

How To Tell If Your Cookies Were Recalled

Look for the product code (1350) and UPC code 7203002378 on the lower right corner of the back of the box.

What Parents Can Do

If you have the affected cookies, do not eat them. Return the product to the place of purchase for a refund or call Consumer Relations at 1- 800-984-0989.

—Erica Loop

 

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The U.S. Food and Drug Administration recently updated a recall for some Pita Pal Foods hummus products. The products, which were sold at Trader Joe’s and other retail stores, were recalled due to potential Listeria monocytogenes contamination. Pita Pal Foods, LP did not immediately return Red Tricycle’s request for comment.

As of now the recall includes 87 types of hummus products, according to CNN. If you have the recalled hummus in your fridge, read on for important information.

Recalled Product Description: Pita Pal Hummus

The recall includes select hummus products made between May 30 and Jun. 25, 2019. The initial recall included products sold under the Buccee’s, Fresh Thyme, Harris Teeter and other brand names. Trader Joe’s recently announced its Colorado, Louisiana, New Mexico, Oklahoma, Germantown, Tennessee and Texas stores also carry the affected products.

For a full list of affected brands, flavors, sizes and UPC codes, visit the FDA’s website here.

Why the Hummus Was Recalled

The recall was initiated following detection of the bacteria Listeria monocytogenes at a manufacturing facility. The bacteria was not found in the finished products.

Listeria monocytogenes can cause diarrhea, stomach pain, high fever or headaches. It can also cause a serious infection in young children, elderly adults or anyone with a weakened immune system and miscarriage or stillbirth in pregnant women.

How To Tell If Your Hummus Was Recalled

Visit the FDA’s website here for a full list of recalled products. Check the brand name, product name, size and UPC code to see if your hummus is part of the recall. Trader Joe’s shoppers can check their products on the company’s website here.

What Consumers Can Do

Don’t eat the recalled hummus. Return the product to the place of purchase for a refund. Call 832-803-9295 or email Pita Pal at products@pitapal.com for more information.

—Erica Loop

Featured photo: Ajale via Pixabay

 

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Early detection is critical when it comes to fighting cancer. A new tool developed by MIT can anticipate the development of breast cancer in women up to five years in advance.

In a recent blog post, MIT announced the collaboration between MIT’s Computer Science and Artificial Intelligence Lab and Massachusetts General Hospital. The team has worked together to develop a new deep-learning model that can predict from a mammogram if a patient is likely to develop breast cancer as many as five years in the future.

This new diagnostic tool is based on over 60,000 patients’ mammograms and known outcomes, discovering subtle patterns in breast tissue that are precursors to malignant tumors. It has already placed 31 percent of cancer patients in the high-risk category, compared to 18 percent from traditional modes of diagnosing.

Because this tool is based on actual hard data, rather than suggestive behaviors, it allows for a more comprehensive approach that is free of bias. This means that it is equally successful in predicting a diagnosis in women of color as in caucasian women—and it is also risk-based and not age-based as in previous models.

MIT and MGH hope that this new tool can lead to accurate, early detection of breast cancer for more women and that it might be applied to other types of diseases that face similar detection hurdles.

—Shahrzad Warkentin

Featured photo: DarkoStojanovic via Pixabay

 

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The U.S. Food and Drug Administration recently announced the recall of five-pound bags of Baker’s Corner All Purpose Flour. The flour, which was distributed to ALDI stores in 11 states, was recalled following the detection of E. coli during testing by the Rhode Island Health Department. Representatives from ADM Milling (the manufacturers of the flour) did not immediately return Red Tricycle’s request for comment.

If you think you may have this product in your home, read on for more information on the recall.

photo: Mike Mozart via Flickr

 

Recalled Product: Baker’s Corner All Purpose Flour

The recalled product includes ADM Milling’s Baker’s Corner All Purpose Flour in five-pound bags. The flour was packaged for ALDI stores in Connecticut, Delaware, Massachusetts, New Hampshire, New Jersey, New York, Ohio, Pennsylvania, Rhode Island, Vermont and West Virginia.

The five-pound flour bags have the UPC code 041498130404 and include all “best if used by dates” and lots, according to the FDA.

Why the Flour Was Recalled

The flour was recalled following the detection of E. coli in a five-pound bag of the product. The specific strain of the bacteria was linked to 17 illnesses across eight states. Following an initial recall of certain lots, ADM Milling expanded the scope of the products included (all lots and best by dates) out of an abundance of caution. The source of the bacteria is still under investigation.

How to Tell if Your Flour Was Recalled

All ADM Milling Co. Baker’s Corner All Purpose Flour in five-pound bags with the UPC code 041498130404 are part of the recall.

What You Can Do

Don’t use the flour. If you have the affected product, throw it away or return it to the ALDI store where you purchased it for a refund. Customers with questions can call ADM Milling at 800-422-1688 between the hours of 8 a.m. and 4:30 p.m. CT Monday through Friday.

—Erica Loop

Featured photo: Life of Pix via Pexels

 

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