At 19 months old, my daughter has the appetite of a fully grown adult. She eagerly downs adult-sized plates of healthy foods without complaint. How? I owe it all to baby-led weaning—or BLW.

My husband and I don’t make a habit of spoon-feeding our child, and we’ve never bought baby food. From the beginning, she’s eaten what we eat—all on her own—within reason.

Before I get into baby-led weaning and why I think it’s the savior of picky eaters everywhere, let me stress that BLW is a decision you should make after talking with your pediatrician. It may or may not be a suitable introduction to solid foods for your child.

So what exactly is baby-led weaning?

Typically babies start eating solid foods around 4-6 months by being spoon-fed purees. Slowly, they build up to chunkier foods until they graduate to solids. Babies learn to swallow food first and chew later.

With baby-led weaning, babies start no earlier than six months with soft solid foods cut into finger-length spears. Think watermelon, avocado, bananas, cooked veggies, or stewed meat.

Babies are allowed to experiment—i.e., play—with what they eat. Manipulating food teaches them how to deal with different tastes and textures, and how to bite or mash food into swallowable pieces.

Is BLW healthy?

Yes! The onus is on families eating well-balanced meals and sharing those meals with their children.

There are a few things to keep in mind though:

  1. Foods need to be low in salt and sugar, and as with any infant under one, no honey.
  2. While it can take babies a while—up to a few weeks—to swallow anything, they receive the nutrients they need via formula or breastmilk.
  3. Parents can incorporate a mix of BLW and purees, but we opted to stick to a strict BLW and breastmilk diet.

Is baby-led weaning dangerous?

BLW is a perfectly safe method of getting your child started on solid foods. A 2016 study by the American Academy of Pediatrics determined that BLW babies are at no higher risk of choking than spoon-fed babies. Technically, you can choke at any time in your life while eating just about anything.

My husband and I took an online infant safety class before our daughter’s first meal. But that’s a safe move regardless of how you choose to feed your child.

Now I don’t want to get into the ins and outs of BLW—you can read up on it here— but I want you to know it’s been one of our favorite parenting decisions.

Why was BLW one of our best decisions ever?

It’s made our daughter more independent. From day one BLW babies eat on their own. The method asks that you don’t spoon-feed your child—ever. (Though some people are more strict than others and we’ve had a few occasions where we’ve been more lenient).

BLW babies are expected to be in charge of their food journey. My daughter chooses what she wants to eat and how much of it—within the options that are in front of her. The implications of that set kids up for a life-long positive relationship with food. If she doesn’t want to eat that much one day? Fine. She’ll more than make up for it the next day.

Today, our friends, family, and her daycare teacher repeatedly tell us how good of an eater she is. And it’s true—we’ve avoided a picky eater which we think is due to her being in control of what she eats from the beginning.  My child is happily entertained with whatever you place in front of her. That means veggies, fruit, seafood—you name it.

I think that is because BLW kids are allowed (and encouraged) to experience their food. Because they’re eating on their own, it gives babies a chance to pick up their food, mash it, touch it, look at it, and eventually eat it.

What this encourages (aside from making a mess) is for kids to play with different textures, shapes, tastes, and colors.

But it also allows kids to experience food in the same form we eat it as adults. I don’t eat pureed carrots, or meat, or any mixture thereof. But I do eat solid carrots and meats. BLW allows kids to observe, touch, and taste whole foods the way they will encounter them as they get older.

Fussy eaters often complain about the differences in texture or taste. BLW nips that in the bud by having babies encounter those differences from the get-go.

The Result? We Have Stress-Free Meal Times

Because my daughter devours whatever we give her and because we don’t have to spoon-feed her, mealtimes are family time. There’s no need to feed the baby first and then eat once she’s gone to bed. The three of us get to enjoy our meals at the same time. And as babies learn through observation, BLW has helped our daughter be a part of a daily, communal family dinner.

The Unexpected Part? It Saves Time & Money

Here are the oh-so-fantastic list of things that we appreciate now:

  • No extra meal prep
  • No need to bring food when we eat out
  • No need to buy baby food

To a certain extent, it lets us live like we don’t have a baby. We enjoy our meals, we still eat out and we eat a healthy, grown-up diet.

I Can’t Imagine Doing It Any Other Way

BLW has made my daughter into the little devourer of food that she is. I’m proud to see her happily munching away at every meal. I’m relieved we can take her virtually anywhere and know she’ll be fine. But my favorite part? Sitting down as a family to a very normal, calm meal.

BLW has changed my whole outlook on getting kids started eating. It boosters a love for a healthy, varied diet while getting kids acquainted with food on their own terms.

Yes, it’s a personal decision, but I’m proud to say baby-led weaning has been a winning choice for our family.

I'm a New Yorker, married to a Texan, living in Spain, and enjoying the mash of cultures that keep us laughing every day. We have a too-smart-for-her-own-good toddler who's already more bilingual than we are. I'm also a teacher and creator of Bilingually Yours, a blog for Spanish teachers and bilingual families.

Stop saying things like “don’t be bossy”

What we say to girls matters. “Our daughters script their stories, at least partially, on how we write them,” says speaker and author Dr. Jody Carrington, Ph.D. “Showing them how we want them to show up in the world, while using words that empower them–like “leaders” who are kind and clear, confident, reflective, and responsible, is what they need from us, now more than ever.” While we need to know the phrases that empower the next generation of women, it’s also good to learn what NOT to say to your daughter. Here are the top phrases to eliminate from your parenting toolbox today.

1. Boys will be boys.

This old-fashioned response to a girl expressing her dislike of a boy's behavior is toxic. Girls should be taught from a young age that boys shouldn't get away with unacceptable actions due to their gender. Parents can show their daughters that they take these issues seriously by listening with empathy and taking steps to change the situation.

2. You got lucky. 

A Center for Creative Leadership study found that "nearly ½ of all women interviewed attributed their success to "luck" compared to only ⅓ of men." 

If we want girls to grow into women who own their achievements, we need to celebrate the work they put into achieving their goals. Did your girl ace her last test? Tell her you're proud of the way she studied for it. Did she learn a new song on the piano? Celebrate her commitment to regular practice. The more we connect girls' achievements to their efforts, the easier it will be for them to avoid impostor syndrome as adults.

boy and girl by a pond
Merritt Thomas via Unsplash

3. Stop being so bossy.

Telling a girl she's 'bossy' feeds into the stereotype that only boys get to be assertive and girls should be quiet and retiring. Instead, celebrate that she feels confident enough in her opinions to instruct others. Say something like, "You're so good at making plans for games! Remember that your game should be fun for everybody. Let your friend make some decisions too." This helps her hone those emerging leadership skills.

4. You would be a lot prettier if you smiled more.

This phrase implies that your daughter's feelings are less important than looking attractive to everyone else. If you're worried that your daughter's overall outlook on life is negative, find ways to discuss the issue without connecting it to her appearance or likeability. "Knowing that they are loved as they help with building self-belief and confidence, especially when others around them are being unkind," says Dr. Low. 

Discuss the long-term consequences of focusing on the negative in every situation. Negative people miss out on the good things in the world because they fail to notice them. Consider starting a gratitude journal with your daughter. Or have her tell you two positive things about a situation every time she says something negative. You'll not only help her notice the good details in life but also help her regulate the stories she tells herself.

 

Related: 10 Times Your Daughter Shouldn’t Say Sorry

'get the the point' is something you shouldn't say to your daughter
Sandra Seitamaa via Unsplash

5. Get to the point.

If your daughter shares details about her day-to-day life with you, consider yourself lucky. "Resilience researchers study kids that thrive despite difficult circumstances. These kids have one thing in common–a trusted adult that they believe loves them unconditionally," says Dr. Angela Low, Researcher at Child Health BC, part of the Provincial Health Services Authority of British Columbia. 

"Knowing that an adult has their back no matter what means that they have somewhere to go to seek advice and counsel, when life gets a little overwhelming, or when they make mistakes (as we all do)." Show you're there for her, even if you've heard enough about YouTube and TikTok to last a lifetime. Listen to her now so she will open up to you when it's crucial, later. If you absolutely can't listen right away, try saying this: "You're important to me, and I want to focus on what you have to say. Can you wait for me to finish this task so I can listen to you?"

6. Look how well your friend/sibling does XYZ. 

In this era of competitive parenting, you might find yourself looking at another child who is a better dancer, student, athlete, etc. But telling your child they don't do XYZ as well as another kid is harmful. It leads kids to feel "less than" which leads to low self-esteem, anxiety, and other issues. Remember, there's ALWAYS going to be someone who does something better than all of us, and it's better to point out their strengths or guide them to the things that interest them, not what might just look good in a social media feed. 

"you should go on a diet" is something you shouldn't say to your daughter, little girls eating ice cream
iStock

7. You should go on a diet.

Want to know how to talk to your daughter about her weight? Don't. Instead, teach her how her body works and what types of food and exercise make her body healthy, strong, and well-nourished. Make sure she knows that the bodies she sees in magazines and social media have been digitally edited to achieve that look. Talk about society's pressures on women to look a certain way, even though bodies come in all shapes and sizes. 

Compliment her for the things her body can do. And make sure you talk about how proud you are of the things YOUR body can do. If she sees you loving your real-world body, it will be easier for her to develop a healthy relationship with food.

8. That's not for girls. 

It's the 21st century, y'all. Women are achieving amazing things in sports, business, and the sciences. Encourage your daughter to pursue her dreams regardless of whether her aspirations are in traditionally male-dominated areas or not. 

Worried that she may run across people who treat her unkindly because they don't think girls should apply? You can help her navigate any future challenging circumstances now. Connect her to training, sponsors, and networks that can support her goals. This will build her self-confidence and resilience as she pursues her ambitions.

—with additional reporting by Beth Shea

As a professional recipe developer and mom of 3, now ages 30, 25, and 12, I’ve been working with food and parenting for a LONG time. I also have a unique perspective of parenting on both sides of the internet—and there were pros and cons to both experiences. For example, with my older two, I didn’t have the vast resources of food blogs, Facebook groups, and Google to turn to for #allthequestions. All I had were some books, friends and family, and my pediatrician. But at the same time, I didn’t have endless feeds in my face—at any hour of the day or night—flaunting image after image of perfect moms, with their perfect children, in their perfectly curated homes, eating their perfectly balanced meals. 

Again, pros and cons.

And while a lot of things changed in the world between kid #2 and kid #3, the one thing that didn’t change in the decade-plus between my 2nd child and my 3rd child? The struggle to feed a picky eater. Three. Times. A day. (Plus snacks).

And—weirdly—neither did the “tried and true” tips for dealing with a picky eater. This was a major bummer, as all three of my kids were “selective” eaters. So, when I turned to the internet with my 3rd—convinced I’d be handed a shiny new collection of modern, innovative, “tried and true” tips—I found myself with the same suggestions as the first time around:

  • Cut food into cute shapes (so many cookie cutters!)
  • Let your kid help grow/shop for/prepare the food—they’ll be SO much more invested (no. just no.)
  • Sneak zucchini/beans/carrots/whatever into brownies/cookies/cake/whatever (the baker in me took MAJOR offense to this one)
  • Offer choices (did someone say, “short order cook”?)
  • Lead by example (takes to eating Oreos in the closet)
  • Limit junk food (takes to eating Oreos in the closet)
  • Have regular mealtimes (seriously?)

Like I said, MAJOR BUMMER.

Even before I started blogging, I considered myself a foodie, and a serious home cook and baker. There was nothing I wouldn’t have bought, prepared, sculpted, you name it, to get my daughter to eat a well-rounded meal. And yet it was clear early on that she simply had a (very) limited palate. Fortunately, I had a low-key and supportive pediatrician, who finally sat me down at her 4-year well visit (where I once again bemoaned my lack of success at getting her to eat better) and told me 2 things:

1. Stop looking at the meal-by-meal, or even the day-by-day, but look at what she eats over a whole week.

2. Stop fighting this battle. She was in excellent health, and this would not last forever.

And so I did. And all of a sudden things didn’t look so dire. Did she eat a variety of vegetables? No. She ate ONE (sliced red peppers), and I noticed she would eat a LOT if I served it up during her allotted afternoon TV time. So, I did. 

Did she eat a variety of proteins? No. She ate ONE (my tuna salad, and always for lunch). But she never tired of it and so I always made sure I had a batch on hand (and stopped focusing on her non-negotiable “pasta with butter and cheese” dinner). 

She always ate a wide range of fruits, so I put that at the top of the list of things to feel good about her diet, and when I’d reflect at the end of each week (as opposed to the meal-by-meal), things looked a LOT better. 

And she grew up to be a beautiful eater, who is a pleasure to go out for a meal with as well as to cook for. 

My point? 

The answer to the question, “How do you raise food-loving kids?” is that you can’t. Whether it’s a control issue, a sensory challenge, or simply (in my kid’s case) a limited palate, you cannot force a kid to eat. 

This isn’t to say that you should toss your hands up and stop trying. I NEVER stopped trying. But I did stop stressing. I had a good friend whose daughter ate a strictly “white food” diet, refusing to eat a single fruit, vegetable, or protein. And another whose kid was dining on oysters, escargot, and sushi from the time he sprouted teeth. And still another whose son was side-by-side in the kitchen with her, measuring, whisking, and sautéing dinners for the family by age three.

And they all grew up to be fine, healthy adults. 

So, serve those cut-up veggies in front of the iPad/in the car/while watching TV. Have that “one protein” always at the ready (yes, even on vacation). Modify dinners IF you can (but don’t worry if you can’t or don’t want to—that’s why they invented mac and cheese). And look at the week, not the day.

And use those cookie cutters for making cookies. As nature intended.

 

Autism Spectrum Disorder became a constant companion in our life one April day a few years back. I think back to that day and realize how naive I was and how unprepared for the journey I was. I wish I could go back to myself on that day with my tear-filled eyes and fill myself in on a little of what I’ve learned so far.

1. It is going to be OKAY.
It will be okay…whatever your version of okay looks like. It may be filled with therapies and mountains to climb and hard at times or it may be smoother with fewer interventions needed. However it looks, you will adapt and you will learn and you will grow. And you will be okay.

We’ve managed to find our stride and what works for us. And is it how I originally pictured life? No. But it is okay and we’re doing alright.

2. Self, please know that your child has not changed.
The world might look and feel a little different right now and that is okay, but your baby is still your baby. Both of my boys are on the spectrum and both of my boys are still the same happy, loving, and adventurous boys they were before a doctor ever uttered the diagnosis that felt like it changed everything. It really took me a minute or two to get that through my head, but it was a valuable lesson to grasp.

3. My child has autism, but it does not define him.
Autism is a part of my boys. It is simply one facet that makes up their whole. It doesn’t define them. They have autism. Autism does not have them. They are smart because they are smart. They are funny because they are funny. They are kind, loving, and stars in my universe because they are them and not because of or in spite of any diagnosis.

4. If you have met one person on the spectrum, you have truly only met one person on the spectrum.
Yes, there are some shared characteristics. Yes, there are common ways in which autism manifests itself in people. But, just like you or me or the person next door, all people on the spectrum are unique too. My two boys are very different and their autism looks very different as well. They are unique. Just because your cousin’s neighbor’s sister’s friend has a child with autism doesn’t mean you know my child or what they need.

5. Subject Matter Expert: My Kids
Just because I am a mother with two boys on the spectrum doesn’t mean I am a subject matter expert on autism. Shoot, I am far from it. What I am an expert on is my boys. I know what works for them. We’ve worked hard to make progress and to find the right diet of therapies. I know what makes my boys laugh or cry and I know when a situation is too much for them. Generally, I can see a meltdown coming from a mile away.

Autism looks different in both of my boys. What works for one doesn’t necessarily work for the other. We’re figuring it all out as we go. But you know what, we’re all going to be okay.

“Don’t give up! I believe in you all. A person’s a person, no matter how small!” — Dr. Seuss

This post originally appeared on How Many Monkeys Are Jumping On the Bed?.

Marisa McLeod lives in Waterville, Ohio, with her husband and four kids. She's a Golden Girls, Disney, and organizational junkie. She can usually be found sipping coffee (or wine), watching reality television, or Pinterest-dreaming her next adventure. You can follow along with her on her blog How Many Monkeys Jumping on the Bed, Facebook, or on Instagram.

Even if you’re not one of those people that allow Christmas to start the day after Halloween, you might have to admit that this year it’s been creeping in– with recommendations to shop early, you might be compiling a list already! If your holiday gift list is looking slim so far, we’ve rounded up the best recommendations from local Portland stores for the whole family– Dad, Mom, Big Kid, and Baby. Read on for some great ideas from great local places to check out!

Dads:

 

Staghorn Fern from Pistils Nursery

Courtesy of Pistils Nursery

Get your plant dad a stunning Staghorn Fern Plaque to grace his wall-- these large antler-like fronds are like a piece of living taxidermy: a dramatic statement for any man cave or living room! Local plant gurus Pistils Nursery have been in business for 20 years, sharing the gift of green and gently encouraging those with blacker thumbs. Their flagship store on Mississippi, along with a new location in Slabtown showcase everything from rare and unusual plants to the coveted swiss cheese monsteras, along with chic planters, pots, and accessories. If Dad is still growing his plant passion, try a ZZ Plant (otherwise known as Zamioculcas amiifolia). One of the most low maintenance houseplants around, this is a great "set it and forget it" plant -- at least for a few weeks at a time.

Pistils Nursery
3811 N Mississippi Ave.
Portland, OR
2139 NW Raleigh St.
Portland, OR

 

Vintage Trail Blazers Jersey from Laundry

Erika M via Yelp

Tucked into Old Town/Chinatown, Laundry is like a candy store for the sports-loving Dad in your life. Full of thoughtfully curated vintage merch (like jerseys, caps and tees) from a wide variety of sports and sports brand, you can cross a few things off your list here in no time. For the Blazers fan, find Damian Lillard and Andre Miller jerseys, or go further afield with a bright orange Netherlands soccer jersey, among hundreds of others. And they have kids sizes, too!

Laundry
140 NW 4th Ave
Portland, OR
Online: laundrypdx.com

Scientific Heroes Glassware from Boys Fort

Chee K via Yelp

Maybe you have absolutely zero idea what Dad wants-- that's totally normal. Hop over to Boys Fort, where you'll find dozens of options for the Dad who has everything. Formerly downtown, they've moved their store into Urbanite on SE Grand Ave but kept it packed full of goodies, like leather wallets, unique decor, stylish Portland maps, books, hot sauce, and even an Albert Einstein pint glass, all geared toward the modern Dad. If you're still at a loss, ask them to help-- you'll walk away with an expertly curated set of gifts in no time.

Inside Urbanite
1005 SE Grand Ave
Portland, OR
Online: boysfort.com

Gifts for Moms

New Planner from Little Otsu

Courtesy of Little Otsu

For the Mom brimming with ideas, plans, schedules, or creative brainstorming, head to Little Otsu to get her all decked out. You'll find beautiful paper goods and from all over the world that will make her home office pop and inspire! Get her set for 2022 with this vibrant planner from England, or brighten up her desk with a colorful Italian stapler.

Mom can jot down all her ideas in a myriad of journals, with fountain pens, colored pencils, highlighters, and more. Don't miss the sweet collection of books and zines, including great options for kids.
 
 
Little Otsu
3225 SE Division St.
Portland, OR
 

The Hottest Fashions from The Yo! Store

The Yo! Store via Yelp

A vibrant store melding color, vintage, adults, kids, European style and American fun into one warm experience, the Yo! Store is ready to knock a few things off your list. Founded in 2016, they've been sourcing quality goods from small independent makers worldwide for years, culminating in a store that's like having your best friend say "here, try this."

You'll find clothes (quilted jackets! stylish sweatpants! polka dot sweaters!), jewelry, bags, and colorful socks for mom, but don't stop there. Stuff her stocking with nail polish and candles before moving on to the kids sections, where adorable clothes, books, and toys await. 

The Yo! Store
935 NW 19TH Ave.
Portland, OR
Online: yoportland.com/

Doug Fir Chai from Roots and Crowns Apothecary

Roots and Crowns via Yelp

Get mom a warming blend of tea with chai spices, complete with foraged Doug fir tips at this home brewed apothecary. You'll also find hand crafted brooms, candles, artwork, and journals alongside the house line, full of rose-scented face serums, mineral makeup, herbal tinctures, and bitters.

Roots and Crowns Apothecary
1812 NW 24th Ave.
Portland, OR
Online: rootsandcrowns.com

Gifts for Kids

Cheeseburger Pillow from Black Wagon

Courtesy of Black Wagon

This Mississippi Street store is chock full of fun, for kids ages 0-14 (and up)! Even the most teen of pre-teens won't be able to resist this soft cheeseburger floor pillow-- they're designed for all ages, tough enough for interactive play yet cozy enough for catching up on their favorite shows, games, and creative activities.

Or test their skills on Christmas Day with a wooden pinball set, along with a huge variety of puzzles, games, and musical instruments next to a whole wall of adorable clothes.

Black Wagon Kids
3964 N Mississippi Ave.
Portland, OR
Online: blackwagon.com

Anything from Hello! Good Morning!

Hello! Good Morning! via Yelp

This adorable store has found a new home inside Cargo, an import shop that's been in business for over 20 years (and is worth checking out in it's own right!). With a background in animation, owner Amy has expertly curated the small space so that everywhere you look there's something bright, colorful, amusing, and whimsical. Bright journals, kids books, vintage toys, ceramics, and even those rubber finger monsters mingle together in a fun and inspiring space. Your only problem will be which things to bring home with you, and which leaves to come back for later! 

Hello! Good Morning!

Inside Cargo

81 SE Yamhill
Inside CARGO
Portland, OR

Online: hellogoodmorningkids.com

Wooden Gnome Home from Spielwerk Toys

Danna F via yelp

Being a kid is hard work sometimes, and Spielwerk gets that. That's why they stock their store with all the best tools of childhood: toys, games, puzzles, and more that helps kids think creatively, solve problems, and goof around. Find your child's new favorite friend here with a wooden gnome home, or a whimsical fairy doll. And stay tuned-- they're working on launching their own line here in Portland!

Spielwerk Toys

3808 N Williams Ave Ste 121

Portland, OR

Online: spielwerktoys.com

Gifts for Babies

Board Books from Green Bean Books

Courtesy of Green Bean Books

The folks at Green Bean Books are the best kind, ready to offer you their favorite new book along with a secret smile. Full of kids books of all kinds, head here to start Baby off right with a set of adorable board books.
 
Their top picks this year are:
What's in the Box? written by Isabel Otter illustrated by Joaquin Camp. An interactive lift-the-flap and touch-and-feel book with a plethora of boxes to open with silly things inside. Perfect for baby's gift opening practice during the holidays.
Dog's First Baby by Natalie Nelson. A new baby's impact from a dog's perspective: very sweet and charming. Don't worry, a cat one is scheduled to be released in March too!
Where Is Everyone? by Tom Schamp. An interactive lift-the-flap with goofy animal characters doing ridiculous things to discover.
 
Green Bean Books
1600 NE Alberta Street
Portland, Oregon
 

Woodland Activity Blanket from Grasshopper

Courtesy of Grasshopper

The newest people in the world deserve the best things-- get the baby in your life this adorable Woodland Activity Blanket from Grasshopper, full of sensory bumps and crackling paper. Located on Alberta St, this store serves up a wide range of goodies for the little ones in your life, from babies and up! Useful items along with thoughtful design combine to offer goods that even adults will want to play with, like these sweet Babyoshka nesting dolls. You'll also find books, clothes, art, puzzles, games, baby essentials, and so much more!
 
 
Grasshopper Boutique
1816 NE Alberta
Portland, OR

—Katrina Emery

RELATED STORIES

Family-Friendly Christmas Day Activities in Portland

Family-Friendly Holiday Stage Shows in Portland

Christmas Tree Lightings in Portland OR

Food allergies, unfortunately, affect 6 million children, and rates of allergies continue to climb with a near-doubling of children affected since the previous generation. Thankfully, new research guides the way to reverse the growing number of children with food allergies. For the first time, we know ways we can reduce risk and help protect children from developing allergies in the first place.

Guided by science, The American Academy of Pediatrics (AAP) and the United States Department of Agriculture (USDA) now recommend introducing common allergens at around 4-6 months of age. By feeding these foods early in life, before an allergy has ever developed, parents have the opportunity to change the risk for their children.

3 Key Takeaways for Parents

  1. The guidelines recommend introducing your baby to commonly allergenic foods like peanuts, egg, cow milk products, tree nuts, wheat, crustacean shellfish, fish, and soy at 4-6 months. 

  2. The guidelines suggest that introducing common allergens regularly can reduce the risk of your baby developing a food allergy.

  3. The guidelines urge for a variety of complementary foods every day. Diet diversity is great for babies and is a key early habit in lifelong, healthy eating.

The dietary guidelines are a perfect roadmap to help give parents easy, achievable ways to feed their baby the best way. The guidelines specify to “make every bite count.” We know that there is a big gap in the types of baby food available at the grocery store. Most commercially available baby foods lack the essential food groups needed to ensure diet diversity and thriving tummies for your little ones as they grow. Parents need to make a plan to get these into a baby’s diet and keep it in a baby’s diet.

By introducing peanuts, eggs, cow’s milk products, tree nuts, wheat, soy, and shellfish, and fish (all of these can be found in SpoonfulONE) with other complementary foods, you can reduce your child’s risk of developing an allergy to that food. Furthermore, pediatricians agree there is no evidence that delaying the introduction of allergenic foods, beyond when other complementary foods are introduced, helps to prevent food allergy. In fact, delaying introduction can increase risk for babies.

So don’t wait and go slow, when you’re starting solids. Consider trying 100 new foods in 100 days! Parents should feel empowered and confident about feeding their babies early. Maintaining a diverse diet is the key as this isn’t a one-and-done “test.” Aim to feed your babies diverse foods and common allergens regularly—every day if possible, but at least several times per week. Consistency is key here.

We cannot change the modern environment quickly, but we can change the allergy in food odds for our children. 

RELATED:
Why Baby-Led Weaning Was One of Our Best Parenting Moves. Period.
Ask the Allergist: What Is a Food Allergy?

 

Dr. Wendy Sue Swanson
Tinybeans Voices Contributor

Wendy Sue Swanson, MD, MBE, FAAP is a pediatrician and Chief Medical Officer for SpoonfulONE. Dr. Swanson is an author, a prominent advocate of evidence-based medicine, & devotes her career to prevention strategies. She fosters conversations with clinicians & parents around the importance of early and consistent feeding of common food allergens.

Moms are superheroes. They cook, clean, remember appointments, schedule playdates and delegate chores. They are only human, though, and sometimes they may forget things. Trying to juggle all your kids’ responsibilities, your obligations, your home life and potentially your career can push all other thoughts out of your mind. However, just because you’re doing so many things for others doesn’t mean you deserve less than that for yourself.

Less than 50% of moms would rate themselves as doing a spectacular job at motherhood, whether they have jobs or stay at home. While you’re looking after everyone else, you can still take small steps toward improving your own life, bit by bit.

1. Schedule Your Appointments
With all of your kids running around, it might be difficult for you to remember that you have appointments, too. Your health is important and shouldn’t be neglected. Just as you take care of your kids, you must take care of yourself, too.

It’s easy to feel overwhelmed when you’re managing too many appointments at once. If you schedule everything for one day of the week, you might find it easier to keep up with them. You might have to take your child to the doctor one day, and the following week, it’s your turn.

Those weeks you might have off could be dedicated to catching up on social appointments. When’s the last time you got together with a friend? Just as your kids should have time with other children, you also need to socialize.

2. Budget for the Best Future
As difficult as it is to think about, you need to ensure your kids have the best future, no matter what happens. Before they’re born, you might want to set up a fund that can be used for college or another route after they graduate from high school. If you already have children, planning your will clearly and concisely will go a long way to making sure they’re protected.

3. Eat Healthy
Another part of taking care of yourself, your partner and your children is to prepare quality food that adds nutrients to your diet. It might be easier to go to a fast-food restaurant, but cooking allows you to teach your kids new recipes and give them more autonomy by allowing them to help with the little things.

If grocery trips are overwhelming, plan your meals ahead of time. With kids tagging along and asking to add multiple snacks to the cart, it’s hard to keep your mind on what staples you should add to your pantry. Being prepared prevents you from running into that issue because you’ll have a list. That way, you can quickly go through the aisles and keep track of what you pick up while also allowing a little room in your budget for your child’s favorite treat.

4. Set Goals for Yourself
Whether you have a full-time job or are a stay-at-home mom, you should have personal and professional goals for yourself. You must know yourself well and select specific objectives that don’t leave room for interpretation. By choosing these goals and writing them down, you’re committing yourself to be the best you can be—as a partner, a working professional and a mom.

Keeping your objectives in your mind will allow you to move forward with intention and grace. Every step you take will lead you closer to achieving the realistic and attainable goals you set for yourself.

5. Make Time for Self-Care
Who’s going to look after you and everyone else when you get sick or need some me-time? If you allow yourself to be run down, your daily home life will be disrupted. That isn’t to say you don’t deserve time to yourself—quite the opposite. Taking a break means you won’t hit a brick wall mentally or emotionally. It means your household will continue operating at a steady pace without you.

Basic self-care is essential. As a hardworking mom, you should allow yourself luxuries beyond that. Ask your partner to watch the kids while you get a massage or go out shopping with friends. After everything you do, you’ve earned a break.

6. Cherish the Memories
Your kids are only little once. Since time travel isn’t possible, every moment you spend with your family should be treasured, no matter what it is.

Even if you experience some setbacks in your day, one negative moment means nothing in the long run. Focus on the positives in your day-to-day life, and find things to be grateful for from the second you wake up to the time you go to bed. Changing your mindset to be more positive while allowing yourself to feel the negative emotions will make you a happier person overall.

You’re human, so you’re bound to make mistakes. Nobody expects you to be the perfect mother, and it’s OK to lose track of things now and then. As long as you center and take care of yourself, you’ll be well-equipped to look after the people you love, too.

RELATED STORIES:
9 Self-Care Ideas for Moms
Prioritizing Self Care as a Mom
Simple Things to Do Every Day That Actually Help You Stay Healthy

Kara Reynolds is the Editor-in-Chief and founder of Momish Magazine.  A mom of four and matriarch to her big blended family, Kara wants nothing more than to normalize differences in family structures.  She enjoys peeing alone, pancakes, and pinot noir - but not at the same time. 

You’re beaming. Your daughter crushed it at her gymnastics meet. Or maybe your son aced that U.S. states quiz. Our instinct as parents is to shower our children with praise in their moments of success. We want to boost them up because, geez, there’s plenty that can bring them down in the day. And we want them to feel pride in their hard work. We want them to continue working hard. Plus, your child deserves to be celebrated.

But do they… completely?

We Americans value independence. We glorify the individual who shapes his or her own identity and destiny through choice, ability, and effort.

Yet, I don’t know any kid who hasn’t benefitted from the support (both emotional and financial) of you, their parent. Teachers and coaches deserve Empire-State-building-sized trophies this year, as far as I’m concerned. And there are countless others who propel our children to their fullest potential. How about the pediatrician who ingrained in your son the importance of a healthy diet so he had the mental clarity to remember where exactly Missouri is? Or your daughter’s friend who helped her perfect that backbend? Or perhaps even Mary Lou Retton, who inspired her?

This is not to say that your kid doesn’t deserve props. We, as parents, should be our kids’ loudest and most obnoxious fans. Our children need that in our hyper-competitive, goal-driven society.

But there’s another angle from which we can frame success that isn’t centered on your child’s magnificence.

That angle? Gratitude.

Being grateful is realizing that the goodness in your life has come to you, not only because you earned it, but because of other people.

Study after study over the past decade shows that people who consciously count their blessings tend to be happier and less depressed.

Not only that, but when we acknowledge that success always comes on the shoulders of others, we don’t diminish our child’s worth. Rather we foster a sense of connection in our child. Since other people and things contribute to our good fortune, reminding your child who helped them achieve their win will connect them to others, nature and even something larger than themselves.

Why is this connection important? 

A sense of connectedness is the number one resilience-building factor for youth. According to the American Psychological Association, “Many studies show that the primary factor in resilience is having caring and supportive relationships within and outside the family.”

This means we should try and use every opportunity we have to promote connectedness. Our society tells us it’s all about you, the individual. Pull yourself up by the bootstraps. But that’s not the reality of life. So much of our good fortune comes to us, not because we deserve it, but because of forces outside ourselves.

So let’s appreciate that—let’s be grateful—and teach our kids to as well.

It’s okay to say “Your teacher worked so hard to teach you the states, and you worked so hard to memorize them!” Or “You put so much effort into prepping for your gymnastics meet! Your little brother got schlepped to a gazillion practices for you!”

Tell your child how awesome they are after they crush it. And then ask them who helped them get there, or encourage them to think about the circumstances that allowed them to succeed. You’ll double the win.

RELATED:
How to Teach Children Gratitude
Finding Gratitude Isn’t Easy
18 Tips for Raising Grateful Kids

This post originally appeared on The Biggies Conversation Cards Blog.
Feature Image: Lisa Wall via Unsplash

After losing a brother to suicide, Devin Tomiak was driven to understand youth resiliency. Her personal mission to strengthen her relationship with her children, develop their emotional intelligence, and improve the communication skills of her whole family led her to create The Biggies Conversation Cards for elementary-aged kids.

Photo: Little Dish

Feeding toddlers is not for the faint of heart. As parents, most of us have experienced the anxiety and frustration that often comes at meal time. Whether it’s a busy schedule or a toddler who refuses to eat, meals can be downright stressful. Yet, at the same time, we feel pressure to provide our kids with the important nutrients they need to grow and thrive. This means a diet that includes a wide variety of fruits, vegetables, whole grains, lean proteins, and dairy foods.

The biggest struggle often comes with two v-words: vegetables and variety. In fact, eight out of ten toddlers don’t eat enough vegetables. And the vegetables our toddlers eat typically lack variety. How many of us regularly throw a few raw baby carrots on our child’s plate because we know they’ll be eaten? In our busy world, it’s easy to fall into a feeding rut.

So, how do we support variety and vegetable consumption during the important toddler years? The key is having a few different tricks up our sleeves because toddlers are notorious for changing preferences overnight. One day they love broccoli, the next day they hate it. Here are some tried-and-true techniques designed to make veggie variety simple and give parents some peace of mind during those challenging phases.

Make Old Favorites in New Ways

One great way to increase the variety of vegetables in your family’s diet is by introducing favorite veggies in new ways. For example, if your child loves mashed potatoes, give mashed squash a try. If that goes well, try squash ravioli and then finally, roasted squash. Similarly, when introducing new vegetables, prepare them in a variety of textures—for example, roasted broccoli, cream of broccoli soup, broccoli & cheese scrambled eggs. This introduces the flavors in several ways and gives children a chance to develop their palettes and acceptance of the new taste.

Make Veggies Easy

Vegetables can be a logistical challenge at times—they’re perishable and require washing, chopping, and cooking. Make them a little easier by finding some shortcuts that work for your family. For example, wash and chop some vegetables on Sunday to keep on-hand for snacks throughout the week. Keep frozen vegetables in your freezer for quick use. Identify some healthy, veggie-rich short-cuts for busy nights. One great example is Little Dish. These fresh, all-natural, refrigerated heat-and-serve toddler meals offer a full serving of veggies in each bowl. Little Dish is now available locally through Fresh Direct.

When All Else Fails, Hide Those Veggies

During those difficult times when your child is downright refusing new foods or eating only a few different foods—don’t stress! This is a phase and will pass. That said, sneaking in extra veggies during times like this will often give mom and dad some peace of mind. Some of my family’s favorite ideas include: 

  • Adding canned pureed pumpkin to our favorite chicken noodle soup recipe. It blends right in and adds a great kick of nutrients and fiber. 
  • Finely dice mushrooms and add them to chili or tacos. Their savory “umami” flavor is often completely masked by the spices. 
  • Add shredded zucchini into your meatloaf or meatball recipes! This trick also keeps the meat tender and moist because zucchini has a high water content.

Finally, remember it takes time for children to learn to love new foods. Just keep offering them and eventually, they’ll likely stop playing with their veggies and start eating them!

A research neuroscientist and expert in nutrition, diet and addiction. Dr. Avena is an Asst. Professor of Neuroscience at Mount Sinai Medical School in NYC. She is the author of several books, including Why Diets Fail, What to Eat When You’re Pregnant, and What to Feed Your Baby & Toddler.

Whether you’re fully vegan, looking to go vegan or you simply want to bring more plant-based foods into your household, finding creative ways to incorporate a few more plant-based options into your home is never a bad idea. From saving money to helping the environment, and of course, helping your family get even healthier than you already are, plant-based foods are often crucial to your diet and wellness—even if you don’t realize it at first. So many healthy foods are already plant-based, and even more, can be easily vegan-ized to your liking.

Even so, it can be difficult to get people on board sometimes—both kids and adults alike. People can be stuck in their ways and unwilling to try new things, but that doesn’t mean vegan-izing things is a completely lost cause. In fact, providing vegan options and feeding your family a few more plant-based meals can actually be easier than you realize. All you need to do is find what works for you and your family and take things one step at a time.

1. Stick to the Basics
One thing many people don’t realize is that there are so many foods that are already vegan or “accidentally” vegan. From pasta recipes to salads, there are so many foods that are already vegan, and leaning into those options can give you a bit of an easier time, both for yourself and the rest of your family.

2. Vegan-ize Old Favorites
If your family has a few non-vegan staples, another option you can try is making plant-based versions of them and seeing how they do. If there’s one thing that many people have learned in recent years, it’s that anything can be vegan-ized. Whether it’s chicken nuggets, decadent mac and cheese or chocolate chip cookies. You may not even want to mention that it’s vegan until after the family has tried it. That way, they can get used to it and see if they like it without any judgment.

3. Make a Vegan Base
Another great way to ease in more plant-based foods is to start with a base dish that you can add different proteins, toppings, and condiments to based on everyone’s taste. You can start by making a list of plant foods that everyone enjoys, so you know you’re starting off with a crowd-pleaser.

4. Promote General Health
Another way to get older kids and partners in particular on board is to simply discuss the health benefits of a plant-based lifestyle openly and honestly. Talk about how healthy plant foods are and how it’s important to eat fruits and vegetables regularly. While it might not feel like the first way you’d get your family on board, you might surprise yourself, especially if they tend to notice feeling better after eating plant-based. Even if it isn’t all gung-ho at first, it might just get people part of the way there.

5. “I Do the Cooking”
This one might be a bit controversial. While many parents subscribe to the idea that you should ask your kids what they want for dinner and that what you make is a family discussion, there is a time and a place to lay down the law. Simply put, stating that when you do the cooking, they can eat what you make or find somewhere else to get their food might be what it takes to start everyone off on the plant-based bandwagon.

6. Don’t Forget Snacks
While meals are the main event, snacks also play an important role in the way we eat. When you bring plant-based snacks into your home like fruits, trail mixes, hummus, and much more, your family may naturally discover vegan foods that they like, making meals easier to prep for. Try to go for a wide variety of snack foods, perhaps changing things up every few weeks to introduce new flavors and foods.

7. Try Out New Recipes
Going to the opposite end of the spectrum from some of the earlier tips, if your family tends to be the kind of people who love to experiment with different kinds of foods and dishes from all around the world, bringing a bit of plant-based adventure into your house could capture some interest. Experiment with different recipes—bring in some Thai, Mexican, Indian or Italian food and see what your family falls in love with. You might just encounter a new staple that your family will associate with plant-based food.

Feeding Your Family More Plant-Based Meals
Getting your family to eat more plant-based foods might seem difficult, but it’s absolutely possible and worth it. All it takes is a bit of creativity and resourcefulness. Whether you vegan-ize old family favorites or you try out brand new cuisines together, there is so much that plant-based foods have to offer. What’s your favorite plant-based dish?

Kara Reynolds is the Editor-in-Chief and founder of Momish Magazine.  A mom of four and matriarch to her big blended family, Kara wants nothing more than to normalize differences in family structures.  She enjoys peeing alone, pancakes, and pinot noir - but not at the same time.