Over two thousand years ago the Buddha observed that “cravings” were the source of most of our suffering. (And he was pretty wise… like a Buddha, in fact!)

Basically, cravings cause us to chase after pleasure in material things, but this habit always ends in frustration and suffering, as the happiness they offer is fleeting and ungraspable.

I was recently reminded of this as we loaded a mini-van full of toys to donate to the Salvation Army in a struggle to declutter.

These toys were an archive of must-have toys from Christmases past, and most didn’t get much love after the New Year.

In fact, our kids had a bad habit of getting a “pleasure-hangover” after the last toy was opened on Christmas morning. Their moods seemed to sink after the cravings and anticipation turned into discontent, often before we could clean up the wrapping paper.

So, after a number of these unsatisfying Christmases, we got wiser. We stopped spending hundreds of dollars on “things,” and don’t even participate in the commercial bacchanal that is “Black Friday.” (ugh!) 

So, what do we do instead? 

Now we get the kids an experience

Our big gift to the kids usually centers around an event, and includes a night in a hotel. Since we’re a train ride from NYC, there’s no shortage of options for family travel, but certainly anywhere fun and exciting will do.

For the last two Christmases we’ve been on a Hamilton (the Musical) kick, so trips to Williamsburg and Philadelphia were a lot of fun. One year it was a long-weekend trip to Florida after we found cheap, last-minute airfare.

This year? Not sure yet. Maybe (half-price) tickets to Aladdin on Broadway, and a night in the city?

We usually make a photo book of our annual adventure, so that’s fun to bring back the memories years later.

Anyway, what I’m trying to say is that we’re all so much happier not dumping “stuff” on each other on Christmas day. We all feel lighter, and there’s a lot less anxiety.

The True Meaning of Christmas

“Sure, Charlie Brown, I can tell you what Christmas is all about…”

Yes, I think Linus was onto something back in 1965.

We’ve all heard that “money can’t buy happiness,” but we’re also told ad nauseam every day that it can.

How? Well, in the form of advertising and social media, of course.

In fact, a recent study shows that we can be bombarded with ads of some sort up to 5,000 times a day. This exposure to advertising is like steroids for our cravings, and that is really bad.

Ugh! If he weren’t so enlightened, Buddha would be so depressed.

Proof that Toys Don’t Buy Happiness (Ah, hah!) 

I’m happy to give you proof that “things” don’t equal happiness. Wrap your brain around this statistic:

You’d think that as the richest country with the most toys, we’d at least be on the list of the 10 happiest countries, but we’re not.

However, we do top the charts in anxiety and obesity, and debt, so maybe we want to stop trying to satisfy our cravings with “things.” 

This obsession with consumption seems to be a human sickness, maybe leftover from our ancient hunter-gatherer DNA? Kind of makes you think that the Buddha was right all along.

Here’s a small way to fight back…

Give An Experience this Christmas!

So, I hope that you consider lightening up on the toys this Christmas. Maybe a Broadway show isn’t in your budget this year, but no problem; it’s the quality time together that matters. 

If you have any ideas of non-material gift substitutes, leave a comment below!

I'm Missy, a mother of three and a middle school drama teacher at a private school. I'm obsessed with my Vizsla (dog), traveling, and the musical Hamilton. I also enjoy writing and sharing fun parenting stories, which is what brought me here.

Sometimes you need a little entertainment with your dinner—and we don’t mean your 2 year-old dumping macaroni on their head when they turn their bowl into a hat.  We have the perfect spot for food that will get devoured, singing waiters straight from Broadway and an atmosphere that will make you think you’ve magically been transported to Little Italy.

This is the kind of Italian comfort food that appeals directly to still-forming palates: spaghetti and meatballs in a sweet red sauce, pizza kept warm over candles, and the rolls, oh, the rolls!  Kids eating here have been known to fill up on baskets of the doughy, warm rolls before orders are even placed.  Yep, this place knows kids, and understands that you don’t want to have to pull out the bags of cheerios to keep them quiet till the food comes; milk or lemonade arrives in no-spill plastic cups and baskets of hot rolls and butter appear like magic while you wait for your entrees.

Chianti bottles hang from a ceiling strung with twinkly lights (if you order a straw basket bottomed bottle of vino for yourself, you or your artistic little ones can leave your mark on it with a sharpie and it too will dangle from the ceiling) and checked red and white cloths cover the tables.  But the highlight of the evening is the singing waiters and waitresses that take turns belting out songs that run the gamut from arias to showtunes (including all the Disney classics).  They take requests, and there is always at least one ingénue in the house with Disney classics in her repertoire, happy to sing directly to your little princess.

In addition to being the perfect place for kids, it’s a good spot to entertain out of town guests.  More than one mother-in-law has swooned after being the recipient of a serenade from a handsome waiter with a booming voice.

You Say It’s Your Birthday?
It’s the perfect place to celebrate a birthday, because you know the waitstaff can carry a tune when they bring you a dish of spumoni with a candle in it and sing to you on your special day.

What to Order
Come with your expectations correctly set: this isn’t the upscale northern Italian cuisine of Angelini Osteria or Mozza.  While your kids may love the sweet sauces, most grownups have slightly different tastebuds.  Menu standouts for grown folk include the chicken Marsala, the house salad that has plenty of garbanzo beans and olives to give it a kick, and if you’re feeling old school & hungry do indulge in one of the parmigiana selections (vegetable, eggplant, veal or chicken) that’s dripping with gooey cheese.

Nearby Fun
Universal Citywalk is just across the street, so if you need the bright lights, movies, bowling, shopping, arcades and fun, have an early dinner and head over.  Or if you’ve spent a long day at Universal Studios, this is a perfect spot to get away from crowds, sit back and be entertained.

Finding It
There are two Miceli’s… the one on Cahuenga (at 3655 Cahuenga Blvd W.) is the one you want. The restaurant opens at 11:30 a.m. for lunch and stays open through dinner, but don’t get here too early as the singing doesn’t start until 6:00 p.m.  Valet parking is free in the attached lot.

Any tips to add for a fun family outing to Miceli’s? Leave us a comment below!

— Meghan Rose

All images courtesy of Miceli’s Restaurant.

Mercury is on the rise, and it’s showing no signs of slowing down. Luckily, the DMV has lots of affordable, public pools to dip into when the heat wave leads to hot and bothered bambinos (and grown-ups). Grab your swimsuits and floaties and check out one of these five watering holes. 

Photo: Willow Grove Day Camp via Flickr

Martin Luther King, Jr. Outdoor Pool
Located in Silver Spring, Maryland, the MLK Jr. Pool is great if you have kids of different ages. The Main Pool offers a diving area with two boards perfect for advanced swimmers. An entertaining Leisure Pool has a shallow water lagoon, slides, water play features, and even a circular “Lazy River” for riding inner tubes! If you’ve got real little ones, you can spend some time in the Tot Pool that comes covered in shade. This place has it all!

1201 Jackson Rd. (Silver Spring, Md)

Bethesda Outdoor Pool
Located at the entrance of Bethesda, the Bethesda Outdoor Pool or BOP is jam packed all summer with the “on the cusp suburban” fams! The Z-shaped main pool has six-lanes and even has a “drop” slide. They have two options for 0the younger crowd….a Tot Pool and a shallow water Teach Pool. Bonus for when you forget lunch or need an ice cream–there’s a snack bar as well as a lawn area with shade structures.

Little Falls Pkwy. and Hillandale Rd. (Bethesda, Md)

Upshur Pool
The Upshur Pool is located in D.C.’s, Mt. Pleasant/Petworth/16th St. zone. This public pool is one of the most charming and quaint pools in the DMV. Despite being in the middle of the city, the pool is located in a quiet neighborhood, with tall trees surrounding it. There’s a tot pool for the little kiddies and they even celebrate doggie swim day for your four legged family members.

4300 Arkansas Ave., NW (Mt. Pleasant)

Rosedale Pool
The Rosedale Pool located in NE D.C. is often referred to as “the one with the slide” because well, it has a slide! It’s one of the newest D.C. pools and quite a hit with young and old alike. Rosedale is relaxing and perfect to bring little kids as well as to lay out and get some Vitamin D.

1701 Gales St., NE (Rosedale)

Ocean Dunes Waterpark
Located within Upton Hill Regional Park in Arlington, Ocean Dunes is super fun for adults and kids. Like the above mentioned locations, Ocean Dunes has a main pool for swimming but that’s the last thing your kids will want to do when they enter this blissful spaceThe park includes water slides, waterfalls and squirters! There’s a 230 foot open slide and an exhilarating 170 foot closed slide which you descend in pitch black darkness! Ocean Dunes also offers a play feature with tube slides, open slides, fountains, and even a 500-gallon dumping bucket! 

6060 Wilson Blvd. (Arlington, Va)
Online: novaparks.com/waterparks/ocean-dunes-waterpark

Do you have a favorite outdoor pool? Tell us about it in the comments below. 

–Guiomar Ochoa

At long last there’s no reason to cry over dumped milk. Breastmilk, that is. If you’re a pumping mom that’s enjoyed a glass of wine or two, then chances are you’ve been faced with that heartbreaking moment when you poured a bottle of liquid gold down the drain. However, scientific evidence says there’s no good reason to pump and dump. Read on to find out how you can safely drink and pump or nurse instead.

photo: Miles For Milk

Despite what you’ve heard in movies and mommy groups, there is no legitimate reason to pump and dump when you have a drink or two. Studies have shown that although consuming alcohol can temporarily decrease your milk supply, drinking occasionally while breastfeeding has not been linked to any adverse effects on nursing babies. The amount of alcohol present in breastmilk is approximately 5-6 percent of the mother’s weight-adjusted dose. In other words a very minimal amount. In fact, some research has shown that there is actually a higher concentration of alcohol in some fruit juices than in the breastmilk of a woman who has consumed a few drinks.

So what do you do if you want avoid any alcohol content in your breastmilk? Simply wait it out. Alcohol concentrations in breastmilk are the same as in blood and accordingly they behave the same way, peaking 30 minutes to an hour after you had a drink and disappearing entirely once you are completely sober. How long that takes exactly depends on several factors, like your weight and how much you’ve had to drink. On average your breastmilk should be booze-free 2-3 hours after you had a drink. Giving you just enough time to get home from your date night and let your head hit the pillow before your baby inevitably wakes up crying.

While a college style bender is not recommended, the occasional glass of wine with dinner is perfectly safe, so spare yourself the pain of dumping such a precious commodity. The next time this myth creeps up in conversation be sure to share the knowledge. After all, friends don’t let friends drink and dump.

Does this surprise you, or will you let it change your behavior? Tell us in the comments!