We promise that these pirate jokes won’t make you want to walk the plank
Talk Like a Pirate Day is September 19 and we’ve got all the best pirate jokes for kids to get your day off to a hilarious start. These kid-friendly jokes are full of puns and will have you laughing all day! Be sure to check out our collection of the best jokes for kids, summer jokes, corny jokes, and even knock-knock jokes.
1. How much does it cost a pirate to get his ears pierced? About a buck an ear.
2. Knock knock.
Who’s there?
Interrupting pirate.
Interrupting pir—yarrrrrr!
3. What’s a pirate’s favorite letter? Arrrrrrrrrr
No, it be the C! (Sea).
—A hilarious 6-year-old reader.
4. What is a pirate’s favorite body part? The booty!
—C.J., age 9
5. How do you save a dying pirate?
CPArrrrrrrrr
6. What’s a pirate’s favorite fish?
The Swordfish.
7. What’s a pirate’s worst enemy?
Termites.
8. What do you call a pirate who likes to skip school?
Captain Hooky.
9. Why does it take so long for pirates to learn the alphabet?
Because they spend years at C.
10. Where do pirates buy their hooks?
The second hand store.
11. What did the pirate say when he left his wooden leg in the freezer?
Shiver me timbers!
12. What do you call a pirate with two legs and two eyes?
A newbie.
For those of us living in the Northern Hemisphere, April is a happy month of beginnings: the start of springtime and the restarting of the zodiac cycle, which begins with Aries. For those with an April birthday, longer days and the renewal of seasons have imbued April babies with bubbly personalities and positive outlooks. Here are some other fun facts (like what’s April’s birthstone) and traits of people born in April, the fourth of the year.
They’re born in the middle of the pack
April babies are usually neither the youngest nor the oldest students in their class, neatly fitting in the middle of the school calendar. A study from the University of Exeter found that first-time moms were more likely to attempt to plan their delivery dates for the spring.
Aries are natural-born leaders
If you know someone born under the sign of Aries, (March 21 – April 19) you’ll know that thanks to their ambitious and tenacious natures, people born in April tend to be leaders. They can be innately stubborn and bossy—a potent combination (when used right) that can lead to people born in April to achieving their goals.
April’s birthstone is one the rarest of all—the diamond
When worn, the diamond is thought to increase the wearer’s inner strength. One of the hardest materials on the planet, April’s birthstone is also the symbol of eternal love and is one of the most popular gems to give as a gift. In the middle ages, the diamond was thought to have healing powers.
Your BFF is probably born in April
Passionate and caring, those born in under the sign of Taurus (April 20 – May 20) are steadfast, making loyal and generous friends. But be forewarned: April babies can be chatterboxes who love attention and can sometimes want to hog the spotlight.
People born in April can be emotional
Aries babies are known to be passionate, fiery, and impatient, which means they tend to wear their emotions on their sleeves. The good news is, this makes them wonderful friends because they bring all that passion to every relationship in life.
April babies are fearless risk-takers
Aries is the most fearless sign of them all. This means there’s a good chance your baby born in April will be enthusiastic about everything they do and be unafraid of taking risks. That’s great news if you’re a parent who doesn’t like to stay still because April babies are feisty and possess seemingly boundless energy.
People born in April are hard workers and love routine
Those who are born under the sign of Taurus tend to be hard workers—they’re not afraid to roll up their sleeves and get the job done, already. They’re also a huge fan of consistency, so don’t be surprised if your April baby thrives on a routine (aka, don’t EVER skip the nap).
They share their birthday month with these celebrities born in April
Plenty of famous people have April birthdays, including Michael Fassbender, Pedro Pascal, Robert Downey Jr., Natasha Lyonne, Pharrell Williams, Elle Fanning, Samira Wiley, Chance the Rapper, Jennifer Garner, and Tim Curry. Notable (fictional) characters born in April include animated smart-aleck Bart Simpson (born April 1, 1979) and heavyweight boxer Rocky Balboa (born April 6, 1946).
There’s a ton of new stuff to pick up on your next IKEA run
When it comes to creating a family home, you love the sleek designs and affordable prices of IKEA (even if you dread the instructions). We know it can be hard to resist their unique decor and furniture, especially when you’re looking to give your kids’ room a makeover, so we went on a treasure hunt and found new IKEA products that are not only fun but within your budget, too.
SNÖDJUP LED Light
Say it with a speech bubble. LED statement lights are still all the rage in 2023, and this fun version changes color (to maybe change with your kiddo's mood?).
Make waves in your kids' room with this cool ocean-inspired duvet and pillowcase. Made from a cotton-viscose blend, they're reversible, so you can change it up whenever the mood strikes.
Put this 23-piece puzzle-like race track together for easy fun using their massive toy car collection. We love that it's a smaller set that can go from one place to another (like to the grandparents) without much fuss.
Is it a toy? Is it a storage container? It's both! Kids can use this two-tiered mesh storage container as a "home" for all their stuffies, and when it's time to clean up, you can tuck it away in the corner or a closet.
Toddlers are busy folks, and this fun walker will help them (and their most treasured toys) get to where they need to go. The handle and the wheels can be adjusted depending on your kiddo's confidence and ability.
If you need another storage solution for your kids, but run out of ground space, consider installing some new TROFAST wall shelves. You can choose the basket color, the top acts like a display case, and you can hang them straight across or at a diagonal.
Kids can learn about respecting aquatic creatures and cleaning up the ocean with this fun new game. Magnetic fishing poles allow players to move things that don't belong in the water into compartments for waste and then move animals into the water.
Your clean kiddo is ready to head into the woods in this fox bath towel. Made from 100% sustainably sourced cotton for extra comfort, that hood gives kids extra warmth when they get out of the water.
One IKEA product kids love is the iconic paper roll that's perfect for hours of artistic expression. This new ocean-themed roll is filled with marine life; kids can use markers and crayons to color the scenes.
Buying earrings is easy, but knowing where to get your child’s ears pierced can be downright intimidating. We’ve rounded up the best children’s ear piercing places—from pediatric ear piercing doctors to kid-friendly tattoo parlors—to help you make an informed decision. If you’ve worked up the nerve to face the ear gun, read on for the best places to go in the DMV.
Start with your own pediatrician as many will perform piercings for patients. If yours doesn’t offer ear piercing, try Potomac Pediatrics in Rockville The cost is $95 and includes a pair of 24 karat gold stud earrings and the option to use numbing cream. DC Derm Docs, a local dermatologist specializing in cosmetic and general medical dermatology,offers ear piercing to patients of all ages using a brand of earrings only available to medical professionals. They provide Blomdahl earrings and offer both gold and silver studs which are available with or without a crystal. The posts themselves are Titanium, which guarantees protection from nickel allergies. Blomdahl earrings are available exclusively to physicians.Capitol Medical Group has ear piercing available on Monday, Wednesday and Thursday with Dr. Markovic. The piercing includes a pair of 24 karat gold plated or stainless steel stud earrings. Tyson Pediatrics in McLean, VA also offer ear piercing.
Okay, so most parents aren’t too excited about taking their kids to a piercing parlor but many can actually provide a clean, friendly, safe place for ear piercing. Check out Craig Pokes U in Arlington where children are welcome with an accompanying parent or legal guardian. They are all licensed piercing professionals and make you feel comfortable. Brilliance Piercing in Vienna, pierces children ages 7-12, by appointment, to make sure there is plenty of time to ask questions and thoroughly explain the entire process. You are even encouraged to visit the studio any time to ask questions or meet their piercers.
Craig Pokes U 4818 Lee Hwy. Arlington, VA 703-268-6583 Online: craigpokesu.com
Brilliance Piercing 421 Church St. NE Suite C Vienna, VA 703-261-6130 Online: brilliancepiercing.com
Mr. B's Tattoos 7554 Bel Air Rd. Baltimore, MD 410-668-3567 Online: mrbstattoo.com
Get the Spa Treatment
Guiomar Ochoa
For a more glitzy experience for your pink loving, tutu wearing girly-girl, check out Sweet& Sassy, a little girl’s spa and salon in Leesburg. Earrings and a little kit to commemorate the event are included in the price of piercing. Belezza Lase in Fairfax will even give your little princess a tiara, wand and “brave kid” certificate. They also have tons of different earrings to choose from.
Sweet & Sassy 1601 Village Market Blvd. SE Leesburg, VA 703-552-8390 Online: sweetandsassy.com
Belezza Lase 4015 Chain Bridge Rd. Suite L Fairfax, VA 703-273-5273 Online: bellezalase.com
The usual suspects, Claire’s and Piercing Pagoda, are where most kids in the DMV go to get their ears pierced. Probably since one or the other is located at just about every local mall. Drop-ins are welcome and both are well set up to manage the excitement and anticipation of children’s ear piercing. Today’s Cargo, a jewelry store in Old Town Alexandria, offers ear piercing to 7 year olds and up. Appointments are accepted only during weekdays. Their experienced piercer uses the Inverness system and only 14K gold.
Today’s Cargo 1102 King St. Alexandria, VA. 703-836-6866 Online: todayscargo.com
Claire’s Union Station, Pentagon City, Tysons Corner, National Harbor Online: claires.com
Find your little bibliophile a great new read they won’t be able to put down. Nothing compares to the magic of browsing rows of bookshelves and cracking open the spine of a book so the story inside can spring to life in a young reader’s imagination. San Diego is home to some very cool bookstores with equally inviting kid’s sections where you’ll find everything from comics and sci-fi to storytime with beloved children’s book authors and Where’s Waldo scavenger hunts. Read on for 8 local shops to dog-ear for your next adventure with your little bookworm!
The only bookstore in San Diego that’s dedicated entirely to children. It was founded by a mother of three who wanted kids to have the most magical experience with books. Kids can work on story-related craft projects while their parents read aloud or browse. Storytimes come to life here with related props, crafts and sing-a-longs. Check out their fun birthday party celebrations with fantastic literary experiences. They even have recommended award-winning book lists for different ages.
NEARBY: Walk a few shops over to the cute little coffee booth at Kini Koffee or grab breakfast or lunch on the patio at Pacifica Breeze Café; both have stunning ocean views. Plan ahead to drive a few minutes over to Powerhouse playground for a play session just steps away from the beach with stunning ocean views; and the train runs by every so often.
Sandcastle Tales 1555 Camino Del Mar, Del Mar 858-777-2086 Online: sandcastletales.com
Central Library Shop
This downtown shop is located on the ground floor of the San Diego Central Library and is a partner of the Public Library Foundation. That means proceeds from the well-curated Library Shop purchases benefit the San Diego Public Library system — an extra bonus in our "book." If that's not enough to love, the shop hosts awesome literacy-themed gatherings for kids like a Where's Waldo scavenger hunt, card-making workshops for Mother's Day and Father's Day, visits from famous authors of children's books and storytime events. A visit to this shop is sure to be an epic day for readers of all ages.
NEARBY: Across the street is Hob Coffee East Village or further down is the ultra-trendy Holy Matcha or walk-up coffee bar at Achilles Coffee.
Central Library Shop 300 Park Blvd., Downtown 619-236-5802 Online: libraryshopsd.org
Bay Books
Considered San Diego's largest general independent bookstore, Bay Books has been catering to local (and visiting) bookworms for more than 20 years. Boasting an extensive children's section, with books for those tackling their ABCs as well as good reads for more accomplished readers, the shop is roomy enough for families to sit together and read while still offering plenty of cozy nooks for those who prefer some quiet time. Be sure to check out their party supply section where you can pick out the perfect decor for your thoughtful reader's next birthday party.
NEARBY: Inside Bay Books is a coffee + pastry shop so you don’t have to go too far. Down the street, you have a choice from Moo Time Creamery for ice cream, Nado Gelato or across the street for an old-timey landmark at Clayton’s Coffee Shop for classic American meals, coffee, pie and jukebox tunes.
Replenish your supply of bedtime stories at Warwicks, the country’s oldest family-owned and operated bookstore, located in La Jolla. The well-stocked shop offers a kid's section filled with a wide selection of books, educational toys, colorful artwork and comfy beanbag chairs. The store used to have storytimes so check back in case they start those up again later on.
NEARBY: This is in the middle of the village so you can shop, eat and people watch all morning long. Walk across the street to trendy Parakeet Café or a few blocks further to Better Buzz.
Warwicks 7812 Girard Ave., La Jolla 858-454-0347 Online: warwicks.com
Recently opened in 2017, and very welcome addition to the South Park neighborhood. They have a wonderful children’s room full of books, while also focusing on new literary fiction, short stories, narrative nonfiction, science and nature writing.
NEARBY: Buy a book and walk 2 blocks down to Communal Coffee for a quick outdoor reading session.
This long-time book store has been around since 1967 and is very well-known with the well-read crowd in town. There’s a great kid’s section with a variety of new books, including Level 1, 2 & 3 and summer beach reads. Donate to their ongoing Baby Book Drive where they collect books for tots 0-5 years old that are enrolled in the local UCSD high-risk infant follow-up program. These babies get a free book and parents get the encouragement to cuddle up and read; all from the donations of their customers.
NEARBY: Plan to grab breakfast, lunch or coffee at any one of the wonderful restaurants that are surrounded nearby; a favorite is Snooze A.M. Eatery 1 ½ blocks north.
A local’s favorite bookstore for used and rare books, but in a fun and hip art-filled space. They stock quality editions of classics, favorites and new discoveries, including over 200 local authors. You’ll find lots of cozy antique chairs for reading and discovering something new.
NEARBY: Walk to your choice of coffee shops from here, Dark Horse, Subterranean Coffee or Holsem Coffee; but the kids would love a stop at Flap Your Jacks (a make your own pancake grill restaurant!).
Verbatim Books 3793 30th St., North Park 619-501-7466 Online: verbatim-books.com
Mysterious Galaxy
Lea S. via Yelp
Books about martians, magic, mayhem and more? Yes, please! Mysterious Galaxy in San Diego specializes in science fiction and fantasy and even offers customers a kid's indie reading list. The recommended books are curated by age and hand-picked to inspire tiny bookworms to keep reading.
NEARBY: Walk across the parking lot to Crumbl Cookies and you’ll be planning a return trip before you know it.
Mysterious Galaxy 3555 Rosecrans St., Midway District 619-539-7137 Online: mystgalaxy.com
Comickaze
If your family is into comics and pop culture, then Comickaze is the bookshop for you. Comickaze stocks San Diego's largest and most diverse selection of comics, graphic novels and collector supplies. The store is chock full of merchandise so plan ahead for some extra browsing time here.
NEARBY: Two shops down is GuilTea Cravings for milk & boba teas, lattes, sweet macarons and Asian bites.
When I realized I was going to be a #boymom, I mentally prepared myself for a lot of things from being completely surrounded by testosterone to having to wipe the toilet down multiple times a day. What I wasn’t prepared for was the influx of outdated and insulting stereotypical phrases directed towards young boys.
From the moment onlookers experienced my five-year-old’s heartwarming hugs or my 2-year-old’s swoon-worthy dimples, I’d be bombarded with “compliments” ranging from “He’s gonna break some hearts” to “That’s an aspiring lady killer” and “He’ll definitely be a ladies man.” And then, we have “Boys don’t cry.” “Boys will be boys.” “Boys are much rougher than girls.” Every time those remarks hit my ear, I’d instantly cringe. I understood there was no malice behind these phrases. They were people making conversation, trying to connect. But what I heard were stereotypes being perpetuated onto my young sons. And these stereotypes had the capacity to do very real damage to their sense of self, their relationships, and even their safety. Let me explain.
I believe children hear and absorb more than we realize. But young children don’t necessarily have the capacity to decipher these supposed “well-meaning” phrases. If they hear them enough and start internalizing them, there’s a chance they become a reflection of those stereotypes. They become boys who grow up to lack respect for another person’s body and personal space, demean another’s display of emotions and not feel the need to be held responsible for it because “boys will be boys.” That is not what I want for my kids.
And it’s even more essential for me to shut down these stereotypes because I’m the mom to two Black boys. When I hear them, I feel like these phrases have the potential to erase the small dose of innocence little Black boys are allowed in a world destined to vilify them. Being wild and rough, or being a “heartbreaker” in relationships are generalizations society routinely associates with Black men. However, the difference is that when Black boys absorb those generalizations, there is little grace that may be extended to white children. According to a 2014 study conducted by the American Psychological Association, Black boys are viewed as older and less innocent in comparison to white boys from the age of 10—which leads to harsher disciplinary actions.
Words have power. I want my children to be well-adjusted, functioning members of society. That’s why I do everything in my power to not only shower them with positive affirmations, but I correct any adult who dares repeat those narrow minded ideologies about or around my children in the hopes they will one day learn the error in their words.
Until then, I’ll continue to do what I can to surround my boys with positive images of masculinity and defy gender stereotypes in the hopes that they will learn that “boys will not be boys.” Instead, boys can aspire to be “good people.”
—Written by Terri Huggins Hart Terri Huggins Hart is a nationally-published journalist, freelance writer, and public speaker. Find her on Instagram @terrificwords.
Elizabeth Brunner is a San Francisco-based designer and the founder of StereoType, a gender-free, style-forward kids clothing brand that’s designed to celebrate individuality and freedom of self-expression by blending traditional ideas of boys’ and girls’ wear. StereoType combines style, design and comfort to inspire creativity, individuality and freedom of expression.
Happy World Ocean Day! In honor of this special day, the creators behind Baby Shark have curated a new playlist for little listeners.
The 40 minute playlist has 27 songs that feature Baby Shark and other sea animals. Designed to education kids on the importance of reducing plastic waste and saving the ocean and sea animals, the fun lineup of songs is just as addicting as the OG ear worm that Baby Shark is known for.
photo: Courtesy of Pinkfong
If your kiddos are looking for more ways to positively impact that ocean, head over to YouTube to see Pinkfong’s World Environment Day Special, Baby Shark vs Waste Monster and ‘No More Single-Use Plastic!, a video that raises awareness about plastic pollution.
Are you ready for Baby Shark’s all-new Nickelodeon debut? As if your fam doesn’t get enough of the ear worm already, the Pinkfong fave is set to debut in an animated series for the Nick network this spring.
In celebration of Baby Shark’s Big Show, Nickelodeon will release a series of shorts. Your kiddo will get a kick out of the animated adventures of Baby Shark and his BFF William in these mini versions of the soon-to-be half-hour show.
photo courtesy of Businesswire
Even though Baby Shark’s Big Show won’t air for a few months, the shorts will get your Baby Shark-loving child super-excited for the series. Catch the five mini-adventures, Baby Shark Shorts, on Feb. 26, starting at 12:30 p.m. ET/PT. The full series will feature 26 episodes that highlight fun, games and more. Along with Mommy and Daddy Shark, Grandma and Grandpa Shark will join Baby Shark and William.
Nick also has other big news for parents of preschoolers. The network recently announced it will renew some of its biggest shows! Santiago of the Seas has been greenlit for a second season, Blue’s Clues & You! will see its fourth season and PAW Patrol is coming back for a ninth season.
Quarantine babies are on the way! If you’re looking for the perfect name, look no further than BabyNames.com.
The online resource has rounded up the most popular names of the year for boys and girls and is ready to share. Of note? “Both Donald and Karen are nowhere on the top 1000 names,” says Jennifer Moss, Founder and CEO of BabyNames.com. So who did take home the top prize?
photo: Photo by nappy from Pexels
For girls, the top 10 are:
Amelia
Charlotte
Aurora
Violet
Olivia
Ava
Aria
Luna
Isla
Hazel
The top boy names include:
Oliver
Liam
Theodore
Ethan
Aidan
Benjamin
Declan
Gabriel
Finn
Elijah
BabyNames.com founder goes on to say that 2021 could see a rise in popularity for girl names with a “ph” sound such as Sophia, Ophelia, Josephine, and Persephone. For boys, keep an ear out for Celtic names like Liam, Aidan, Declan, Owen, and Finn.
Moss also believes we’ll be seeing more “Power Names,” which are those that are associated with bold characteristics like Rogue, Maverick, Remington, Blade, Freya and Apollo. Check out the entire list at babynames.com.
The year 2020 is nearly over and there are plenty of reasons to get excited. In addition to celebrating the Year of the Mouse, Mickey’s main squeeze is also getting the special treatment with Disney’s Minnie Mouse: The Main Attraction collection.
Each month, Minnie is getting a makeover inspired by the most beloved attractions of the parks. You can get your chance to snag a newly themed collection at Shop Disney.
To shop the final Minnie Mouse release, head to shopDisney.com and access the new Merch Pass. Beginning Tues. Dec. 8 at 7 a.m. PST, guests can add their name to each product by way of a drawing. You can only put your name in for one drawing per item, but you can do multiple drawings for different products. Then, when the list closes, you will be notified via email, if selected, to make your purchase.
January
Minnie Mouse is decked out in all things Space Mountain this month. Check out a variety of bags, ears, mugs and more, all inspired with space-like hues of purple and blue.
Ahoy matey! Minnie Mouse is on a swashbuckling adventure with the Pirates of the Caribbean. The black and gold-toned collection features six pieces that include a plush, mug, ears, Magic Band, pins and hip pack.
Minnie Mouse: The Main Attraction Plush – Pirates of the Caribbean
It’s a Small World after all! The April collection is all about the the iconic ride (and the song that always get stuck in your head) and includes a Minnie Mouse plush, headband, pin set, mug and hip pack.
Minnie Mouse: The Main Attraction Disney It's A small World Plush
Head over to the Tiki, Tiki, Tiki, Tiki, Tiki Room! This enchanted collection pays homage to the Polynesian show and is made up of a Minnie Mouse plush, ear headband, mini backpack, mug and collectors pin set.
Minnie Mouse: The Main Attraction Enchanted Tiki Room Plush
Minnie is decked out in King Arthur style this month. She is sporting an organza bow with crown and carrousel horse banner skirt, in addition to other limited edition items which include a headband, backpack, pin set and mug.
Minnie Mouse: The Main Attraction Plush King Arthur
Blink and you’ll miss August’s second release––Dumbo! Minnie Mouse is wearing a circus-inspired crepe gown and bow that includes a golden feather. Other items in this release include a headband, hip pack, pin set and mug.
Minnie Mouse: The Main Attraction Dumbo the Flying Elephant Plush
Minnie Mouse has been working on the railroad. This month’s release pays homage to the famed Big Thunder Railroad attraction, and she’s wearing an adorable gown with a train print. Other items in this release include a headband, backpack, pin set and mug.
Minnie Mouse: The Main Attraction Plush Big Thunder Mountain Railroad
Minnie Mouse is ready for the spooky season. Outfitted in perfect Haunted Mansion attire, this leading lady’s gown is fashioned from the famed attraction’s wallpaper, in addition to wearing a Madame Leota hat with fishnet veil. Other items in this release include a headband, hip pack, pin set and mug.
Minnie Mouse: The Main Attraction Plush The Haunted Mansion
Minnie Mouse is ready to say farewell to her year long collection, and 2020, too. Her finale performance means she’s decked out in and a coordinating bow that features Sleeping Beauty’s castle. fireworks Other items in this release include a headband, backpack, pin set and mug.
Minnie Mouse: The Main Attraction Plush Nighttime Fireworks & Castle Finale