ML Interest Tag: emotional-intelligence

Childhood Trauma Therapist Begs Parents Not to Do These 18 Things

by Gabby Cullen

No one has perfect parents. We’re all a product of our upbringings—and those who faced childhood trauma tend to unknowingly carry forward those same behaviors to their own kids. But what if a bit more reflection and awareness could stop the cycle of emotional damage? Childhood trauma therapist Morgan Pommells shared a number of things she wishes parents would stop doing, including ones you may not have thought twice about.

The first three items on the list? Yelling at your kids as soon as you get home from work, giving the silent treatment to the whole family when you’re upset, and waking up your children with aggression.

“Your children are not receptacles for your unresolved and unmanaged emotions,” she wrote. “When you rely on your children to manage your emotions, you put an undue and unfair burden on them. In my practice, I often see this lead to deep feelings of anxiety, guilt, and shame.”

The fourth, fifth, and sixth things she’s asking parents to stop doing are favoring one sibling over another, especially boys over girls; saying “I guess I’m a bad parent” when your child expresses hurt; and refusing to apologize.

These are all signs of lacking emotional intelligence—the inability to handle the big feelings that occur in daily life. “Children don’t need perfect parenting—they just need *safe* parenting. This means parents must regulate their own emotions,” she wrote.

The seventh, eighth, and ninth things she is asking parents to stop doing is expecting everyone to walk on eggshells when they’re in a bad mood, not protecting their children from the other parent when they did something legitimately wrong or harmful, and depending on their kids for emotional support in the way you would a partner.

“Parents must regulate their emotions and not look to their children as the ones responsible for their own well-being,” Pommells explained.

Next on her list of things she wants parents to stop doing is treating their children unfairly because “the world isn’t fair,” seeing their children as extensions of themselves, and believing their children should be grateful for being given a home and food to eat.

Children are individuals, and human in their own right, and parents shouldn’t burden them with the expectations, guilt, and trauma they are dealing with in their adult lives.

She follows with wanting parents to stop using the argument that “they need to learn” as a way to justify rage, weaponizing the other parent against the child, and using shame to manipulate their children into doing what they want the child to do.

“Your children’s future self-perception needs to be important to you. Your children’s ability to connect with people in adulthood needs to be important to you,” Pommells wrote.

Last on her list of things is using sacrifice to guilt (“I give you everything, and this is how you act in return?”), reminding their child that their primary allegiance is to the other parent and they will never take that child’s side, and labeling their child as “dramatic” when they have a legitimate reason to be upset.

“What if instead of hard and rigid rules, we learned to meet our kids where they needed us the most and held space for all the blunders and emotions and mistakes they will make?” Pommells asks.

She even has a holiday edition of her list, which includes other things parents do that can have lingering effects, and honestly, you might be surprised at one or two (it’s the holidays with family, after all).

From the comments sections, it’s clear that many of the actions she’s highlighted have had long-lasting repercussions.

“The silent treatment did so much damage for me 😢 I perceive lapses in communication as punishment even when it has nothing to do with me – which is MY responsibility to fix but lawd it’s hard,” one commenter wrote.

Another added, “When I was a kid my mom told me she always wanted a boy and not a girl. Then said it doesn’t really matter as long as baby was healthy, but that first part was telling and has always stuck with me. I once had a small disagreement with her too and her sister, my aunt, sighed and said ‘I’m so glad I only had boys.’ My brother was far and away the Golden Child, even got more food, more lunch money, more expensive xmas gifts.”

As Pommells states in her posts, parenting doesn’t come with a guidebook or instructions. “To be clear: I firmly believe that 99.9% of parents are doing the absolute best they can,” she wrote. “Most of these mistakes are made at a subconscious level. But that doesn’t mean they are without consequences or that we shouldn’t strive for better.”

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3 Ways to Respond When Your Big Kid Is Super Rude to You

by Gabby Cullen

If you’re in the middle of raising a big kid, then you know living with someone in the throes of raging hormones is not for the weak. Happy one moment and outraged the next, parenting a tween or teen is a roller coaster of emotions that can leave you exhausted and confused. The good news is, in what might be the most challenging stage of parenting (toddler parents, we see you—wait a few years), there are ways to communicate effectively with your kids, even when they throw major shade your way. Dr. Lucie Hemmen, an adolescent and parenting expert who explained in a previous TikTok video that there’s a biological reason for teens being mean to you, offers three ways to respond when your kid is super rude.

@dr.luciehemmen

Videos are for educational use only. #parentingteens #parenting #parentingtips

♬ original sound – Dr.LucieHemmen

#1. Say nothing.

Stone-cold silence speaks volumes. In truth, tweens and teens don’t have the emotional intelligence to react maturely a lot of the time. When you engage with your kid after they’ve been rude, you’re turning it into a situation between you and them instead of it being just them. Hemmen says that staying silent allows for whatever they say to “just sit there, unobscured.” Which, in turn, puts the ball back in your court.

#2. Say something short and sweet.

If an immediate response is a must, Hemmen suggests keeping it simple. As in one word, like “ouch,” that relays to your big kid you’re hurt by their words but you also refuse to engage. So keep it brief and check out this list of what not to say to an angry tween or teen to avoid other communication pitfalls when dealing with big kids.

#3. Wait a bit, then validate their feelings and express your own.

This response is one of the best things you can do when dealing with a rude kid because you can calm down and think about what you want to address, and it allows the child time to reflect on their actions.

Nobody thinks well when emotions are running high, and Hemmen explains that teens have an even harder time. “They have a big struggle with this because of the state of their brain development: Their prefrontal cortex really shuts down; they are all emotion. It’s almost like talking to an intoxicated person,” she says.

The key is not to engage with them when emotions are high but to recognize and validate their feelings when you know they’re listening. Hammen suggests speaking with your child later when everyone has had an opportunity to reflect. What should you say? “Hey, remember when you felt really disappointed because I said no about whatever? You told me you hated my guts and I’m the worst parent in the world. You know, I just want you to know I get that you are frustrated. I get it sucks to be disappointed. I really, really understand that,” Hammen says.

Then you can explain that while they have a right to their feelings, they don’t have the right to be rude. In truth, they’ll be more likely to absorb that concept at a future time, even if they don’t admit it. It can go something like: “Will you try to memorize this as an opportunity for you to pause, take a breath, and treat me like I’m a person? I’m okay with you being disappointed, but it does hurt my feelings when you talk to me that way,” she says.

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14 Questions Teachers Wish You Would Ask About Your Kid

by Priscilla Blossom

Every school year, parents reach out to their children’s teachers to inquire about any number of things. Sometimes it’s over a concern over their child’s academic performance or a conflict between students. Other times, these questions for teachers can be a bit more invasive, like when a school parent demands to know why certain things are being taught, like in the recent instance of a small faction of parents getting upset over Michaelangelo’s statue of David being shown in the classroom. But for every one of these situations, there are a slew of other questions that teachers would love to hear from the parents of their students. We asked several current and former teachers what questions they would love to hear from parents, and here’s what they said.

“What are my students’ strengths in your classroom?”

Jessica Matoian, an 8th-grade social science teacher at Sequoia Middle School in the Fresno Unified School District, says she would love to hear this question from parents, along with questions about how they can help develop those strengths outside of the classroom. “I believe in a growth mindset in my classroom. If I can work with parents and guardians on developing their students’ strengths, instead of highlighting their weaknesses, I find students are willing to take ownership of their strengths and build on them on their own,” says Matoian.

“Is my child happy? What lights them up?”

Brooklyn-based Christina Soriano, who taught elementary school art, social and emotional wellness, and Kindergarten summer school from 2006 through 2022, says she never heard any parent ask this, but wishes she had. “These questions are important because they are child-centered and strengths-based. It’s sometimes second nature, or sometimes cultural, that we go straight to how to make a child ‘better’ in a subject. Of course, that is a main point of schooling and learning, but it’s equally important to know what makes a child excited and joyful during the school day,” she says.

“How can I help my child succeed in your classroom?”

Victoria Taylor, a teacher with 20 years of experience and founder of BestCaseParenting, says she appreciates when parents take an interest in their children’s work. “Simply asking about ongoing projects and assignments can be extremely helpful to students and teachers alike. I understand it’s a lot for busy parents to stay on top of everything, but small gestures such as sending in student supplies or helping their child stay organized can make a huge difference,” says Taylor.

The same goes for Christina Collura, a full-time kindergarten teacher, autism advocate, and mother of two. “I am a firm believer every child has strengths (and weaknesses), and building and teaching children based on those strengths are vital to forming and building on a successful learning path,” says Collura.

“What supplies or materials do you need restocked/refilled for the classroom?

Amanda Dexter, who has been teaching middle and high school for eight years in Missouri’s St. Joseph School District says she would like parents to inquire about supplies long after the school year has begun. “At the beginning of the year, classroom supplies are usually fully stocked, but come a few months later and we’ve run out of glue sticks, construction paper, whiteboard markers, Kleenex, disinfecting wipes, pencils, etc. You’d be amazed at how quickly a class can burn through what seems like ample supplies in the beginning,” says Dexter. “Usually it is up to the teacher to restock supplies out of their own pockets.”

“Are there any educational activities or resources you recommend?”

“Parents who ask this question are actively seeking ways to enrich their child’s learning experiences. As a teacher, I can suggest educational apps, websites, books, or hands-on activities that align with the curriculum and support their child’s interests and learning style,” says Donna Paul, a Montessori teacher turned blogger at That’s So Montessori.

“How can I help my child develop independence and life skills?”

This might not be a typical question asked by parents, but Paul, who has over 10 years of in-class Montessori elementary teaching experience, says those who do inquire about this recognize the importance of preparing their children for future success. “I can provide suggestions on age-appropriate tasks, organization strategies, and opportunities for problem-solving that empower children to become self-reliant and confident individuals,” she says.

Related: Teacher Shares ‘Secret Code’ Used When Emailing Parents about Their Kids

mom asking a teacher questions
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“How can I support my child’s learning at home?”

While supporting a child’s education in the classroom is essential, Paul feels that parents should also look into how they can extend this into their homes. “By asking this question, parents show their commitment to their child’s education and seek guidance on how to extend learning beyond the classroom. As a teacher, I can provide valuable insights, resources, and strategies for creating a supportive learning environment at home,” she adds.

“What can I do to support my child’s social and emotional well-being?”

Nowadays, more parents and teachers are learning about the importance of social-emotional learning on top of academics. “Parents who ask this question demonstrate their understanding of the vital role social and emotional development plays in a child’s overall success. By seeking advice, parents can gain insights into how to foster healthy relationships, resilience, and emotional intelligence in their child’s everyday life,” says Paul.

“Does my child behave at school (and) are they respectful?”

Julie Navitka, a former middle school teacher (from 2008 through 2022) at Robert Andrews School in Winnipeg, Manitoba, Canada, suggests parents ask this question to gain better insight into their child’s behavior. Why? While teachers will generally inform parents when their students are crossing the line with their behavior, it’s a good idea to check in with teachers to see if there are inklings of problematic behavior that can be addressed early on.

“Does my child get their work finished (and on time?)”

Navitka, who briefly taught high school and has since started blogging at Successfully Sustainable, also recommended this question. Questions for teachers like this can not only help prevent any academic slides but also potentially detect a larger issue if the student is having a lot of difficulty staying focused and completing tasks, such as a learning disability or a cognitive disorder like ADHD.

“Does my child distract others from their learning?”

While parents should always ask questions related to helping their own students, it doesn’t hurt to inquire about how they are ensuring the success of the entire classroom. “Teaching can be extremely stressful, and even though it’s not the only (or biggest) factor, dealing with unsupportive parents plays a role in this stress,” says Navitka. Being proactive in addressing issues like these can make difficult conversations about behavior issues smoother.

“How can I help contribute to the classroom?”

While donating supplies is always helpful, Birney Elementary School teacher Robert Garcia wishes parents would ask how they can help contribute to the classroom in other ways. “It could be volunteering, donating special incentives, or just making a guest appearance,” says the 6th-grade teacher who has taught in Fresno Unified School District for 29 years.

“What skills is my child struggling with that may not be covered in class?”

Eddie Maza, an 11th and 12th-grade English teacher at The Idea School, a private school in New Jersey, says it can often be difficult for teachers to address individual students’ needs at the beginning of the school year. “As a high school English teacher, I encountered students who required assistance with fundamental grammar issues. While I would have liked to provide them with additional support, the nature of teaching a large class made it challenging to offer supplementary content. By asking the teacher about specific areas that need improvement and how to develop those skills, you can create a plan to help your child catch up with the class,” says Maza.

“How can I support my child’s work without completing it for them?

According to Maza, “Parents naturally want to assist their children with school work, but it’s important to ensure that working through challenging assignments, collaborating with peers, and communicating with teachers remains part of the learning experience. Involvement from parents is valuable, but asking this question helps ensure that your efforts to support your child’s education do not deprive them of the essential learning experience.” Alternatively, he says parents can ask, “What are the objectives of this assignment?”

Related: 16 Things Parents Don’t Need to Worry About (According to Teachers)

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The Fill-in-the-Blank Sentence That Helps Kids Own Their Emotions

by Kate Loweth

When kids experience big feelings during the toddler years and inevitably unleash them (so fun!), they know someone is likely going to step in and help them or give them what they want. Think about the last time you took your kid to Target and they lost their mind about not getting that [insert anything in their line of sight]. There probably wasn’t a lot of discussion happening at that moment as you were fighting for your life and attempting to remove yourself and your kid from the premises as quickly as possible.

But as kids grow up, they need to learn skills to help them deal with those feelings more productively. This skill is known as emotional intelligence, which translates to: “emotional awareness, or the ability to identify and name one’s own emotions; the ability to harness those emotions and apply them to tasks like thinking and problem-solving; and the ability to manage emotions, which includes both regulating one’s own emotions when necessary and helping others to do the same,” per Psychology Today.

But how do we simplify this concept for kids? Parenting coach Destini Ann Davis shares an easy-to-remember sentence that can be applied to just about any emotionally charged situation and allows the speaker to take ownership of their feelings: “I feel [blank] because I need [blank] so I’m going to [blank].”

@destini.ann

❤️

♬ original sound – Destini Ann

Parents can use this phrase during everyday interactions with their kids to model what healthy processing looks like. An example she gives is: “I feel sad because I really want us to be on the same page and we’re not. I’m going to make myself available to talk about this when you’re ready.” That sentence not only describes Davis’ emotional state, but it includes an action step to revisit the situation once her kid is more regulated.

According to Davis, it all comes back to emotional intelligence and not relying on others to fix what is bothering us. She follows up with another example, which we can see both parents and kids using: “I feel frustrated because I need some quiet so I’m going to go into my room.” Emotional intelligence is about me owning my feelings, my needs, and the actions that I’m going to take to get those needs met,” Davis explains. It’s about empowering yourself—and your kid—to take a step back from a situation, analyze what’s happening, and figure out the best way forward.

If this method is a little too advanced for your kid, try Davis’ recommendation of instituting a safe word that signals to the parent that the child is about to lose it and needs some assistance before boiling over. Davis uses the word “pickles,” and when her daughter says it, Davis knows that her daughter needs some time away from her (younger, somewhat smothering) sibling. This helps her daughter avoid hurtful phrases like, “You’re so annoying!” and allows her to own and process her emotions.

This skill also extends to our adult relationships, helping us get a better handle on things that are bothering us while avoiding using “you” statements that make our partners feel judged. Consider trying it out the next time you notice that your emotional needs aren’t being met.

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Why Raising Socially Aware Kids Matters

by Mimi Nartey

Kids who respect different worldviews and love all kinds of different people are just two good things that come from being socially aware

Raising children who feel good about who they are, love all different kinds of people, and respect different worldviews is still not mainstream. The good news is that parenting is our greatest social activism because we can influence our children to be more socially aware and compassionate. We can expose them to different environments, cultures, and people, give them opportunities to learn in collaborative settings, and help them find opportunities to serve others. These things will help our children develop the soft skills that they need to be more successful in life and ultimately transform the culture of our society. Here are five specific reasons why being socially aware matters.

Kids who are socially aware will develop and display greater emotional intelligence

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A child who is trained to be socially aware can empathize with the perspectives of others, listen empathically and display vulnerability. These are the skills that comprise emotional intelligence. According to Salovey and Mayer (1990), emotional intelligence is a “set of skills that contribute to the accurate appraisal and expression of emotion in oneself and others, the effective regulation of emotion, and the use of feelings to motivate, plan, and achieve in one’s life.” Research suggests that emotional intelligence may be a greater predictor of success than IQ, so these skills are important to the growth and development of your children. Children who can imagine what others are going through will be better able to perceive, use, understand and manage emotions, which will ultimately serve them in learning and achieving their goals.

Kids who are socially aware will be better prepared to be leaders

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Being socially aware means that you understand how to react to different social scenarios, and you can adapt your interactions to achieve the best results in any situation.  A child who develops the sophistication to read people and situations will be able to gain friends, influence people, and motivate and inspire others. According to renowned executive coach, Maren Perry, it is great to have a strong understanding of your skills, values, and emotions and to be able to focus and manage your emotions, “However, outstanding leaders balance this self-focused drive with a healthy amount of empathy and organizational awareness to leverage others to accomplish more than they can alone.”

Related: 10 Ways Parents Can Fight for Social Justice Every Day

Kids who are socially aware will have greater self-awareness and self-acceptance

Jonathan Borba via Unsplash

According to the book Emotional Intelligence 2.0, while self-awareness “involves looking inward to learn about yourself and understand yourself, social awareness is looking outward to learn about and appreciate others.” This is a reciprocal process of learning that involves understanding yourself and understanding others to greater and greater depths. A child will learn to appreciate their personality and individuality as they learn to authentically respect the experiences and perspectives of others. They will develop the ability to see themselves more clearly and evaluate themselves through introspection. Essentially, as a child learns to step outside of their own experience, they will learn how to be critically self-reflective as well.

Kids who are socially aware are more likely to practice gratitude

volunteering at a food bank is a great way to teach kids how to be grateful
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According to the Character Lab, gratitude is "appreciation of the benefits we receive from others and the desire to reciprocate." To be grateful, you need to be aware of the benefits you receive from others and understand how to reciprocate appropriately. Gratitude is a social and emotional learning skill that is built from in-person interactions, meaningful discussion, and reflection. 

Gratitude is associated with many positive outcomes including more satisfying social relationships and decreased distress and mental illness. There are four components to gratitude, as identified by UNC-Chapel Hill’s Raising Grateful Children Project:

  • Noticing: Did someone do something nice for you? Did someone give you something or take you somewhere fun?
  • Thinking: What are all the reasons you’re thankful for this? Why do you think someone did something nice for you? Does this mean something to you? 
  • Feeling: When you think about these special things or people, how do you feel?
  • Doing: What can you actively do to express your gratitude for this person, place, or thing? 

Social awareness supports a grateful attitude in children because they learn to be humble and appreciative as they consider the perspectives of others.

Related: 10 Words & Phrases You Might Not Know Are Racist

Kids who are socially aware can persevere and find greater purpose in life

October birthday
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Finally, research has also shown that individuals with greater social awareness and higher emotional intelligence perform better on cognitive tasks and are better able to overcome frustration when faced with challenges performing these tasks. Perseverance comes from a growth mindset. A child who approaches learning with humility and open-mindedness is going to be more resilient in their processes. This combination of compassion and resilience will support children in finding and achieving greater purpose in their lives through strong relationships, flexibility of thought, and persistence toward their goals.

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‘What’s Sweeter’ Is the Latest Book Giving Both Parents & Kids a Moment of Pause

by Jodi Cohen
Partner Content

As parents, moving through the day at a mile-a-minute can easily become our norm. We often mislabel multitasking as a badge of honor when in reality it can be quite detrimental to our memory, and our ability to fully be in the moment with our loved ones. Introduce after-school activities, homework, birthday parties, media-time and our kids wind up on the same loop of go-go-go that we do.

Looking for an easy moment of pause? We’ve got you.

Something as simple as a daily reading routine with your kids can slow your pace and allow for your family to become present. Cracking a book, connecting over a story, delighting in the imagery on the page and in your imagination…these are the moments, it seems, we work so hard to capture. And these are the moments debut author-illustrator June Tate provides for parents, caretakers, teachers and the children in their lives with her book “What’s Sweeter.”

While tackling the everyday grind can model resilience, we love the opportunity that “What’s Sweeter” provides in modeling self-awareness, self-confidence and emotionality.

Peppered with delightful stencil drawings, this book is just as beneficial for our kids as it is for us.

Pass this book to the sweetest around you.

The Story

is there anything sweeter / than cracking open a stiff new book to take a big whiff / and finding a list of all sweet moments that are tiny and powerful and everyday.

We follow a diverse cast of charmingly sketched characters as they reflect in wonder at everyday delights. Whether it’s landing a new skateboard trick or picking a big bowl of oranges by yourself, this book naturally inspires kids to recognize and relish the little moments in their daily lives.

Learning how to take these moments of pause and reflection is a lifelong practice your kids can begin to replicate outside of story-hour, and carry with them throughout their lives.

What Others Are Saying About What’s Sweeter:

'A soothing bedtime read. A quiet book that will help readers experience and reflect on the rich sensations of life.' — Kirkus Reviews

'Those who read it will find themselves enthralled. An endearing book for caregivers to share with children.' — School Library Journal

'Tate’s whimsical musing ends with a twist that brings this beguiling, even sweet, interlude close to the reader.' — Publishers Weekly

Perfect for a holiday gift, or any occasion, this book highlights the charm and joy in every day’s seemingly simple occurrences. Order your copy today.

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Why You Should Nurture Your Kid’s Emotional Intelligence

By Cara Zelas

What is emotional intelligence?

Emotional intelligence is understanding and recognizing your emotions, and how they impact you and those around you. It also involves perspective taking, comprehending empathy, and having a real understanding of others’ emotions too. It is about building self-awareness and learning emotional self-regulation as well as gaining the social skills to connect and understand others.

How Is Emotional Intelligence (EQ) Different from Intelligence Quotient (IQ)?

Emotional Intelligence (EQ) is intelligence specifically relating to emotions, how an individual can classify, evaluate, regulate and communicate emotions—people skills. Intelligence Quotient (IQ) refers to processing, applying, filtering, and retaining information, logical reasoning, and abstract and spatial thinking—book smart. It is a different skill set, both of which can be inherent and learned.

The Benefits of Emotional Intelligence for Your Child:

  • Enhances emotional regulation

  • Encourages positive conflict resolution skills

  • Helps your child absorb critical feedback and use it constructively to grow

  • Guides your child to be a team player and work cooperatively with success

  • Activates listening skills

Strengthen Your Child’s Emotional Intelligence through These 5 Actions:

1. Label your child’s emotions, give feelings a name. Acknowledging emotions by using simple language, “I see you are feeling (insert emotion),” provides validation and gives your child the affirmation that you are listening and understanding them at the moment.

2. Do simple breathing exercises to promote emotional self-regulation.

3. Be an active listener, especially if your child is harboring views that are different from yours. Ask questions to gain an understanding of why they may think a certain way and refrain from judgment.

4. Write it down or draw a picture. Sometimes when your child is experiencing a big emotion, the feeling gets trapped and swirls around their head and builds up to grow into something bigger than it may be in reality. Verbalising, writing, or drawing is a release valve.

5. Give your child a task with a goal (finishing a puzzle, getting dressed alone, putting on their shoes, etc.) this gives a sense of ownership over self-motivation. Encourage your child to follow through despite the outcome.

Research shows high levels of emotional intelligence are directly linked to academic achievement, better relationships, greater success for adulthood, and improved mental health. The most exciting thing about Emotional Intelligence is that it can be taught and learned. Nurturing your child’s Emotional Intelligence will give them a strong foundation in which to flourish.

RELATED:
Kids Who Can Manage Emotions Do Better In School, Study Finds
The One Thing We Miss When We Applaud Our Kid’s Success
How to Help Kids Handle Their Emotions

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Hi! I am an author, founder and educator. I have a Bachelor of Media Communications, Bachelor of Elementary Education Degrees as well as an Early Childhood Montessori Certification and in the process of completing a Master of Education. I live between New York and Byron Bay. I'm the mama of Grace, Theodore and Little Dude! 

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5 Tips for Navigating Big Changes

By Rachel Jents

The structure and stability we’ve created as parents are a safe haven for our children. However, any new experiences, such as the arrival of the pandemic, welcoming a new sibling, or moving houses, can instantly topple over that security blanket.

And although change can happen in an instant, dealing with change entails a spiraling process that involves many stages, such as building awareness and adapting to said change. Moreover, everyone’s needs are varied. After all, we all handle change a little differently. As such, it’s imperative that we give all the members of our family the support they need to help them cope and adapt. That said, below are 5 things to keep in mind:

1. Don’t be afraid to seek help. Try as we might, we can’t always be perfect role models and mentors to our children. What’s important is that we are able to acknowledge their shortcomings. In some cases, it’s even best to check in with a family expert that can help guide us. A counselor with a family studies background will understand what your family needs and will help you develop a plan together. Not only are they equipped with strong analytical skills to understand the root of the issue, but they also have the emotional intelligence to adjust their approach to every member of the family they talk to, especially children. Seeing an expert might be the best choice for those who have difficulty with communicating, marital problems, or dealing with extreme emotions.

2. Slowly adjust to the situation. When the pandemic struck, parents had a hard time adjusting daily routines in order to keep their families safe. The isolation from friends, missing classes, and canceled trips also required a lot of explanation from our side. But we’ve somehow managed to slowly adapt to this sudden life change. For changes that aren’t quite as sudden, we have the privilege to allot time to familiarize your child with the unfamiliar. If the life change is a new school, for instance, arrange for them to meet their new teacher in advance. Accompany them to look around classrooms, and take them through what happens on a typical day in their new school.

3. Manage priorities. Big transitions in life can be seen as opportunities instead of hurdles to overcome. When we’re going through change, we can really assess where our priorities lie. Are we putting my career over my family’s happiness and comfort? Are we being too resilient and refusing the help we need? Learning to manage your priorities can also make the change much easier, or at least, much more bearable. For example, after losing a loved one, prioritize the family’s health first instead of trying to return to normal at once. Making sure everyone’s getting rest, sufficient meals, and time off can actually help them recuperate better physically and mentally.

4. Accept emotions. Next, learn, as a family, to accept your own and each other’s emotions. In fact, marriage and family therapists have noted that it’s necessary to sit with the emotion that comes with any change. Be it grief, excitement, or stress, it’s human nature to feel emotions that might linger while we’re in the process of coping. For children especially, it’s important to acknowledge feelings without trying to invalidate them. For example, you can say: “Moving to a new place can be scary and sad, and it’s normal to feel that way. But we’ll handle this as a family, and we’ll be here every step of the way.” Shielding them from the reality of these emotions, on the other hand, can further slowdown the process of acceptance.

5. Be kind to one another. Lastly, it won’t hurt to teach your kids to be extra kind to one another. Set an example by offering to hear out their concerns and lend them a helping hand, even in the little things. At the same time, allow them to help you in the ways they can; this tip is best for families with addition to the family. Older children like to contribute and feel valued, so allowing them to watch over the baby and help with chores around the house can heighten their sense of empathy and responsibility. Of course, remember to be extra patient and understanding—everyone’s affected by this change, not just yourself. We hope these five tips were helpful and encouraging. Hopefully, you’ll be able to put them into practice and navigate the changes in your life with much more ease.

Photo: Pexels

Rachel is a full-time mom of two boys based in Seattle, a former teacher with a background in psychology and a passion for helping people always see the bright side of things. She also enjoys yoga, baking, photography, and walks in the park.

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5 Lifelong Benefits of Nature Play for Children

By Ingrid Simunic

As parents, we’re constantly told that too much screen time is bad. We’re told of all the negative reasons why we need to cut the cords and un-glue our children’s eyes from fast-moving digital stimuli.

And as parents, we get it.

We understand why too much screen time is bad. We understand we should get them off the couch and into the great outdoors. But do we understand that nature play has more benefits than simply being an alternative to screen time?

Nature play for children has multiple lifelong benefits not only for our children but also for our planet! Here’s how:

Children who spend more time in nature and with wildlife have better brain and overall development. In other words, they grow to be more well-rounded people.

While there are many benefits of nature play for children, let’s take a look at the top ways:

1. Provides Physical Activity
According to the AACAP, children ages 8-12 spend 4-6 hours on screens every day. This is causing kids to become too sedentary, which, in turn, can lead to sleep problems, unhealthy weight, and insecurity issues.

The CDC recommends at least 60 minutes of physical activity each day. However, as we’ll learn from the following benefits, the type of physical activity matters.

Any physical activity is good. Unstructured physical activity out in nature is even better.

2. Promotes Imagination & Creativity
Studies have also shown that kids who spend more time outdoors in nature do better in academics such as math, science, technology, and the arts. This is likely because there are no fixed rules to follow.

With nature play, children are free to make their guidelines and games. Such opportunities are great for creating and using their imagination which is vital to proper cognitive development.

3. Helps Build Problem-Solving Abilities
When children are involved in unstructured play, it helps them solve problems such as who goes first and what rules should be followed.

Of course, you will want to supervise the play for younger children. However, try to give kids a chance to work together on resolving problems before stepping in.

4. Develops Higher Levels of Social & Emotional Intelligence
Unstructured nature play helps teach teamwork and social skills. The children must learn to take turns, share, listen to each other, make decisions, and create imaginary scenarios.

Since the kids are creating the playtime, it allows ample time to learn independently among their peers.

5. Inspires Appreciation of Nature & Wildlife
The importance of nature play in early childhood is clear, but how does it relate to conservation? It’s simple. The more you can get children involved with nature, the better off both will be.

If you can get your kids interested in nature and wildlife, they will want to get involved to help make the world a better place. Perhaps they’ll want to plant more trees, or maybe they’ll want to support wildlife initiatives by preserving different species of animals.

In the end, it doesn’t matter how they decide to help. The important thing is they want to help.

Nature play nurtures kids to be happy, healthy, and caring. What more could we want as a parent?

So, don’t just turn off the screens for the sake of screen time. Turn off the screens and turn up the nature play. Your kids (and our planet) will thank you for it.

—Ingrid Simunic

Ingrid Simunic is an award-winning communications strategist with a passion for nature and wildlife conservation. As a published Ph.D., she is also an award-winning author of the children's book series, Elliot's Adventures. Ingrid has the joy of collaborating with her son from concept to finish, incorporating his humor as a vital ingredient.

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