ML Interest Tag: employer

Kids Need Camp More Than Ever

By Allison Miller

Parents and caregivers need camp more than ever. Whether camp serves as child care or a just needed break, day and residential programs have become important for families. However, it is harder than ever for some families to pay for summer camp with unemployment and more limited funds or access to disposable income. Summer camp expert, Allison Miller, Founder, and CEO of Happy Camper Live, a 365-day year platform centered around the world of summer camp offers some advice for financing programs.

1. Camper Scholarships: “Camperships” are offered to families in need. Ask the Camp Director if full or partial scholarships are available. Most camps reserve a number of spots for campers in need.

2. Offer your services: Working for a summer program is a great way to pay for camp. Camps have a variety of roles besides the typical camp counselor role. Office, food service, activity leaders, camp moms are common needs and roles for adults that may provide a way for you to earn money to pay for the camp experience for your children.

3. Ask your employer: Some employers will assist parents with summer camp tuition.

4. Consider Non-profits: Non-profits such as the Boys & Girls Clubs, YMCA’s, Scouts, and local Parks and Rec Centers provide great free or low-cost day and residential programs. Local groups and organizations such as churches, synagogues, civic and military programs run camps as well.

5. Research organizations that provide camp experiences for income-eligible families. For instance, SCOPE (Summer Camp Opportunities for Children) complete an application, including an essay, and apply to one of their partner camps. Morry’s camp is a free-of-charge program for children from underserved communities in New York City. Another great organization to check out is Kids2Camp.org which also provides camp scholarship programs. Google the word “camperships” plus your area to find participating camps.

6. Create your own neighborhood camp: Parents and caretakers can hire local camp counselors or share hosting a program. Happy Camper Live provides great on-demand camp activities that they can use to run the program or reference from art to dance to music and sports.

7. Check to see if you qualify for a tax credit. The child and dependent care credit gives a tax break for many parents who are responsible for the cost of childcare if your child is under 13 years old or no age limit if they are disabled. Day camp or summer camp fees may apply if the camp was selected to provide care while the parents are at work. Overnight camps do not qualify. You will be required to get a receipt from the camp or organization and then file Form 2441 to claim your credit. Be sure to speak with your accountant or tax expert if you have any questions.

8. Try virtual camp: There are plenty of great options for campers to experience right at home. For as little as $4.99 your child can experience camp on-demand at happycamperlive.com. Other virtual camps that offer live programming do so at a significantly lower price than in person.

Allison Corey Miller is the Founder and CEO of Happy Camper Live, a lifest‌yle brand centered around the world of summer camp. Her vision is to bring the magic of summer camp to every kid in the world 365 days of the year. 

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This Mom-Founded Org Wants to Help You Spread Kindness in Your Community…with Lasagna!

by Jennifer Swartvagher

There’s nothing like a warm meal delivered to your doorstep, especially in times of need. Lasagna Love is a national grassroots movement of kindness and support that connects neighbors through homemade meal delivery.

The idea came about in the spring when Rhiannon Menn began delivering homemade lasagnas to families in her community who were struggling when the pandemic hit. 

Lasagna Love

In just under eight months, Lasagna Love has spread across 47 states in America (including major metros: Atlanta, Boston, Chicago, Dallas, Denver, Houston, Las Vegas, New York, San Diego and San Francisco), delivered over 8,000 meals and is supported by 4,000+ “Lasagna Mamas” and “Lasagna Papas.”

“To accomplish these milestones in such a short window of time is a huge testament to the impact of Lasagna Love,” said Menn. “We are reaching more families at a time when food insecurity is skyrocketing and with non-profit status, now have the ability to gain additional funding through employer matching, Amazon Smile, and countless other avenues. All of this has been achieved organically along with personal passion from our volunteers who share a profound desire to give with purpose. Lasagna Love is highlighting a level of overlooked humanity that crosses every boundary.” 

Lasagna Love

Lasagna Love came about from a desire to help others without expectation of gratitude or reciprocation. Menn said, “Kindness has a network effect, which in turn, strengthens our communities. If we’re able to shift our perspective, to give grace and see possibility instead of focusing on what we’ve lost or what we wish we had…the entire fabric of our being is changed. Lasagna Love volunteers are setting a renewed tone around giving without judgement or divisiveness. Their generosity of spirit is seeding a behavior shift with neighbors focusing on the needs of community members without qualification, and empowering others to ask for help without fear of being deemed undeserving.” 

It’s easy to become a Lasagna “Mama” or “Papa” and there is no commitment or expectation for giving. Signups and donations can be managed directly from Lasagna Love’s website. 

Lasagna Love

Lasagna Love isn’t exclusively focused on delivering home-cooked meals. It aims to normalize asking for help which is something that doesn’t always come easily. “The more frequently we message that it’s OK to ask for help, the more likely we are to shift the narrative around asking when we need it,” said Menn. 

To establish additional funding to support meal deliveries to families in need, the Lasagna Love online store features Lasagna Love-branded merchandise including aprons, hats, face masks, onesies, stickers and car signs.

“Our volunteers are embracing a reality of zero judgement, open heart, and giving without any expectation of appreciation,” said Menn. “When our volunteers deliver a meal, it doesn’t just have an impact in that moment. What we’ve learned over time is that recipient families are often inspired to pay it forward and help those around them when they can. Some are even inspired to become Lasagna Mamas and Papas themselves.” 

To join the Lasagna Love movement, donate, or to purchase Lasagna Love-branded merchandise, visit www.lasagnalove.org. 

—Jennifer Swartvagher

All photos courtesy of Lasagna Love

 

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Thankful in the Age of COVID? It’s Possible

By Katie Washington

I was in church a few weeks ago. It was the first time I’d been to mass since before COVID and it was a different experience, wearing masks and socially distancing, trying to come together as a church community when the very nature of this virus demands separation.

I started thinking about all COVID has taken from us, all the ways it’s demanded we stop doing the things that make us human. And, conversely, all the ways it’s encouraged us to be better, kinder, and stronger people. 2020 has been a crappy year (change my mind) and people across the globe are struggling. This Thursday is Thanksgiving. We are eight months into a pandemic whose curve we thought we could flatten in two weeks. I know I am not the only one struggling. It’s hard and while I could (and have) sit and focus on the variety of ways this virus has taken from us, I can’t do that anymore. This week, I want to push my brain to think about a few things I can be thankful for in the age of COVID:

Stronger Relationships with Family & Friends 

Whether it’s my husband, kiddos, friends, or family, my network has both opened wider and gotten tighter. My husband and I had to push past the discomfort and sheer annoyance of everyone being home all the time and needing to work and raise children and, it wasn’t always perfect, but we got better at listening to each other and working together. I feel like we had a crash course in building a stronger marriage and I love where we are now. With friends, we did Zoom happy hours (like the rest of the country!) but we also just got better about checking in, offering support, and being there for each other—in spirit or real life. Knowing everyone was struggling in their own way and no one was getting it just right allowed people the room to offer help and support but also to ask. I think that as we moved apart, physically, we opened up some more room to connect emotionally and I will always be grateful for that.

Giving Grace

More than anything else this year, I heard, “we need to give each other grace.” I think the pre-COVID world of constant motion, overscheduling, and inability to slow down blocked the extra room we often needed to give grace and patience to those around us. We’re only human: working hard, continuously learning, and frequently making mistakes. To be given the time and space to take a step back and offer grace to an employee, an employer, a friend, an acquaintance, or someone who simply bugs you is a generous gift. It costs nothing but can demand a lot. Grace has been extended to me and I’ve gratefully accepted; it’s been something I’ve struggled with when I needed to extend it to others. Having been on both sides of that fence, it’s not something I’ll take for granted again.

Embracing the Outdoors

I am a huge fan of open windows. Every spring when it warms, and every fall when the heat finally breaks, you’ll find my house coated in pollen and dust, echoing with birdsong, and open to the air. This was the first year I’ve heard and seen the neighborhood kids outside as well. As things slowly opened back up, the embrace of outdoor drinks, gatherings, and picnics is incredible. We pack up blankets and snacks and go find parks or cool public properties. The kids run and bask in the heat of the sun or the shade of a quiet afternoon. My kids thrive in sunlight and fresh air. As the weather cools, we wear jackets and jump in leaves but warm our faces in the sun. Being outside feels cleaner and safer and freer; I don’t want to lose that when we return to “normal,” whatever that might look like.

COVID may have snatched our usual way of doing things and this year may go down as one of the most challenging and frustrating times of the modern era; I hope it will also be remembered as one of the most human. 2020 has been angry and defiant and messy and heartbreaking. It’s also been inspiring and kind and revolutionary and strengthening. I want to end this year on a positive note and say, I hope 2020 makes us better. Stronger. Infinitely more grateful.

I'm 38, not single, but I do enjoy long walks on the beach. I'm a mom to 3 little boys, ages 5 and under; married to a wonderful man for almost 6 years. I work at the University of South Carolina (Go Gamecocks!) and live with my family in SC.

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What I Didn’t Realize about Maternity Leave until I Lived through It

By Missy Narula

I was seven months pregnant with my first daughter when an acquaintance asked me about my plans for maternity leave. I was lucky, I told her. My employer provided eighteen weeks of paid leave. During my leave, I figured I could stay on top of what was happening at work while the baby slept, answering emails and hopping on to e-meetings. “I’ll probably be ready to go back pretty quickly,” I told her. “I’m not sure how I’ll handle the slower pace of staying at home with a newborn.”

Up until that point, I had managed to spin every plate life brought me. I had been leaning hard into my career, juggling multiple high-stakes projects with a bustling personal life. I had a couple of degrees, a successful job, and so far, a lot of unrealistic expectations about motherhood. Like many parents, I thought I knew a whole lot about having a child before I even had one. I thought I could do it all.

And then my baby came.

The joy that came with holding my little one for the first time soon morphed into something I’d never experienced before: a type of whole-body, whole-brain exhaustion that rendered me pretty much useless at anything besides keeping my baby alive. As predicted, I did have a good portion of my days free while my baby slept. But I was hardly functional during those hours because my daughter was up all night. In the first few months of my daughter’s life, I was so woozy I could hardly hold a conversation with my husband— let alone my manager or a colleague.

And then there was breastfeeding. I was determined to make it work because I knew about the health benefits for me and the baby. But I can count at least half a dozen times I almost threw in the towel. I spent night after night awake with my screaming infant trying to feed, wondering when I’d start to feel normal again—when I’d begin to feel at home in my body, when I’d get a full night’s sleep, and when the edge of anxiety constantly grating on me would finally dissipate.

I thought back to my passing comment about maternity leave. Even three solid months into motherhood, I wasn’t near ready to go back to work. I was stressed all the time, my daughter was still struggling to feed, and if you asked me about self-care, I would have stared at you blankly. I remember trying to come up with a way to pamper myself and remember I was a person, too. All I could come up with was thirty seconds of flossing my teeth, but it felt glorious. In other words: I was stretched close to my breaking point. Having to worry about finances or get myself together to go to work after being awake all night would have done me in.

Even so, I was among the small percentage of parents who actually have access to paid leave. Parents without that same privilege would be forced to choose between their baby’s health and their own well-being and a third variable: either working or taking time off without pay.

Once I had the luxury of sleeping through the night again (it took a good year), I realized parental leave isn’t just a nice add-on to a benefits package. It’s an essential, a human right. Our mental and physical health hinges on it. Motivated by my experience, I started advocating for better-paid leave policies and coaching friends to approach their managers about improving benefits. I joined the board of an organization that advocates for paid medical and family leave for all Americans. And just last year, I went all in. I quit my job and started a platform dedicated to educating parents on how to make choices for their family’s well-being called Exhale Parent. Exhale’s central content is a trove of information about understanding and navigating through parental leave, which I personally knew to be incredibly confusing. Because of my time in the trenches of early motherhood, I want to help other parents earn the rights they deserve.

Looking back, there are some things I’d do differently with my first baby. Had I known the struggle that was ahead—and how essential parental leave is for a family’s well-being—I would have recalibrated my expectations for my leave. And when my friend asked me about my plans for maternity leave, I would have skipped the self-serving answer. Instead, I would have told her I was going to soak in every minute of time with my baby, because even the longest, most exhausting days pass by too fast.

 

Founder & CEO of Exhale Parent and Diapertainment, Board Member, and former Private Equity executive; graduate of Yale and Harvard Business School; Mom of 3 littles.  

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Can’t Decide to Send the Kids Back to School? 5 Tips for Overcoming Decision Paralysis

By Dr. Kate Lund

I’m a clinical psychologist. I’m also the mother of twelve-year-old twins, so the anxiety of back-to-school unknowns in this time of COVID-19 is hitting me both in my office and my home—which has been located under the same roof for months. When my patients connect with me remotely, they ask me the same question I’ve been asking myself: With all of the stress and uncertainty that the pandemic is causing about starting school, how can I sort it out and make the best decision for my children, and for our family? Parents everywhere concur that the options are far from ideal and for many, they are also guilt-inducing on so many levels. The truth is there are no easy answers in this situation. We have to work with the information we have moment-to-moment and make the best decisions we can.

The Road to Stress is Sometimes Paved with the Best Intentions

There are more than 80 million American families out there struggling with how to best manage the looming back-to-school questions. Lots of parents are conflicted by what to do about their children going back to school or college. There’s got to be an answer for us, given the common stresses we’re all feeling about the school bell ringing.

The stressors—the constantly changing plans of school calendars and classroom logistics; the adherence to public health protocols; the risk of viral exposure to our children; the effects of months of social isolation and distance learning; and, for some, the stigma of having been sick with COVID or lost loved ones to the virus—have stacked up so high they feel like they’re eclipsing the light of day we need to make clear and confident choices.

In the past, I would talk with patients about moving stressors to the horizon, but COVID feels different, because it’s so present, all around us in our communities and in the media, that we can’t see the horizon. Thus, our approach to working through the stressors needs to be different, too. Psychologically, we’re up against uncertainty. The fear that at the end of the day, nobody knows what will happen. So what can parents do to cope through the moments?

5 Tools for Coping Through the Moments

1.  Develop your own relaxation response: Come up with a word or phrase that is soothing to you—water, wind, your child’s smile. Focus on it as you breathe in and out for up to 10 minutes in the morning and again later in the day. Ten minutes sounds like a long time for us parents. Start with one or two minutes, then work up to longer. You’ll build a foundation for what it’s like to be in a stress-managed space, so when you do face a stressor, you can manage it proactively to prevent it from spiking.

2.  Move forward: Harder than it sounds, I’m sure, but it’s vital to get to a place where you feel like you can put one foot in front of the other towards your goal of making a decision. Our minds are wired to go to the negative more easily than the positive, but there’s a technique to overcome this. At the end of the day, jot down three-to-five things that went well today. Consciously focusing on the good things will help give you the balance you need to take the first steps forward. Finally, focus on what you can control and what you can do instead of what you can’t.

3. Create a plan: The absence of normal routines and calendars during the pandemic has caused people to feel dislocated from the foundations that ground their lives. Consider all the options presented to you by your child’s school, your employer, and the other cornerstones in your life. Chart a plan with actions, dates, and outcomes for the various options. The act of consciously working out pathways to the future will give you a sense of preparation to help guide your ultimate decision.

4. Understand that things will change: The circumstances of the pandemic are so fluid that it’s impossible to hold a school or any other institution to their best intentions — they’re trying to fly the plane while they’re building it. So, knowing that things will change, consider how pieces from the plans you created (#3) will help you feel ready for whatever is thrown at you. Create a plan A, then a plan B and C. The final version will be somewhere in between all three.

5. Talk to peers—then go with your gut: The other people in your situation are likely facing the same stressors and ambiguities and walking the tightrope of their own decisions. Sharing your thoughts will enable you to articulate your instincts, and receive the feedback and views of people who know you and can be honest about your concerns. Listen to what’s working for them, but in the end, make the decision that’s best for you and your unique situation. And remember there are no easy answers in this scenario. Doing your best is the best you can do.

In the weeks between now and the start of school, practicing these techniques can help you move out of the paralysis of not knowing what to do and making the best decision you can in your situation. Keep in mind that it won’t be ideal, but if you can do your best to consider all of the options presented to you, then you’ve served yourself and your children well. And you won’t be alone. I’ll be trying to do the same.

I am a licensed clinical psychologist of 15 years, peak performance coach, best-selling author and TEDx speaker. My specialized training in medical psychology includes world-renowned Shriners Burn Hospital, Massachusetts General Hospital, and Beth Israel Deaconess Medical Centers, all of which are affiliated with Harvard Medical School.

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Care.com Survey Reveals What Is on the Minds of Working Parents

by Jennifer Swartvagher

This year back to school preparations have been anything but normal. Working parents are scrambling trying to figure out how to maintain a positive work and life balance while managing distance or hybrid learning. Care.com surveyed working parents to find out what they would like to see and how they could alleviate the stressors caring for their children while returning to work. 

work from home

The COVID-19 Working Parents Survey reveals that the pandemic has not only made childcare more difficult, but women are often finding themselves picking up the slack as careers are impacted. The survey also found that with the announced limitations of schools and/or daycares as they re-open, 73% of parents plan to make major changes to their professional lives with 15% considering leaving the workplace altogether.

52% of working parents say that juggling childcare and work responsibilities has been harder during the COVID-19 crisis. This increases to 57% of those with a youngest child under 4 years old. Additionally, 66% of working parents agree that juggling childcare responsibilities with work responsibilities during the COVID-19 crisis has caused their productivity to suffer. 

The study found that women are picking up the slack. 57% of working women say that they’ve taken on most or all of the extra childcare responsibilities during the crisis, compared to just 8% of women who say their partners do more. However, 36% of men say they do the extra childcare work.

Workplace anxieties are on the rise. 52% of working parents agree that they hide childcare concerns because they worry that their employer or colleagues won’t understand.

43% of respondents say that their employers are more tolerant toward managing children while working than they were at the beginning of the COVID-19 crisis, compared to only 12% who say their employer is less tolerant. 84% of respondents who don’t currently receive childcare benefits say that receiving new employer-provided childcare benefits is important in order to continue working and raising children at the same time. 

Parents want more childcare benefits. Only 15% receive childcare benefits that are sponsored by their employer, and in addition, men are twice as likely to receive childcare benefits (22% to 11%).

—Jennifer Swartvagher

Featured photo:  Charles Deluvio on Unsplash

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Survey Looks into Challenges Moms are Facing Due to Extended Working from Home

by Jennifer Swartvagher

More and more companies are committed to supporting their employees in working from home due to the pandemic and stay at home orders. This comes as a relief to parents with small children at home but it also brings new challenges to the workday. HeyMama and InHerSight conducted a study of 1,000 moms to discover the policies, resources, and support working mothers need from their employers, coworkers, and partners during the COVID-19 crisis as work from home policies continue. 

woman on laptop

Women are finding themselves working more, feeling less productive and are less satisfied with their jobs. While past studies have shown that remote employees are more productive than those who work in the office, it did not account for mothers homeschooling their children while keeping up with deadlines and other duties. 

The typical rules and results of working from home do not apply under these circumstances, so it is important for employers to consider how the pandemic is affecting their employees and reassess the expectations they have. 

The survey found that almost three in five working moms say they are less productive while working from home during COVID-19, yet two in five say they are doing more work. Additionally, nearly half of women who took our survey say they’re less satisfied with their jobs since working from home and taking care of children at the same time.

There is no denying that taking care of your children, along with having to educate and entertain them, is a full time job. Pair that with working from home and both will suffer. Moms working from home need more flexibility in both work hours and deadlines. 

“Flexibility has always been really important to women in general and moms specifically, as they try to balance work and life and make the best decisions for their families,” Ursula Mead, CEO and cofounder of InHerSight, says. “Throw in a pandemic and a lot of our day-to-day needs from regular, non-stressful times become that much more acute and critical.”According to our survey-takers, flexible work hours due to other demands on time and extended/flexible deadlines are the top two considerations they need from their employers.

If quarantine and social restrictions continue for the foreseeable future, working moms say flexible work hours are still a priority followed by paid time off and extended/flexible deadlines for work. 

“Flexibility can take a lot of different forms. It can be flexible work hours, deadlines, projects/assignments, or ways to use benefits and capital, and understanding the type of flexibility moms need as they work from home and during the pandemic,” Mead says.“Remember too that identifying your employees’ needs and supporting them is good for your business and your team’s morale and  productivity.”

Working moms also need their coworkers to understand that they have a lot on their plates right now. 

“While the current pandemic has been difficult for everyone, and people who cannot or choose not to have children are facing a slew of challenges, parents—seemingly overnight—became de facto teachers, helping their children navigate e-learning while simultaneously working, caring for any young children they may have, and taking care of their homes,” Katya Libin, CEO and cofounder of HeyMama, says. “Fifty-seven percent of mothers say COVID-19 has negatively impacted their mental health. While most parents cannot understand what it must be like to spend months on end devoid of any human contact—a reality for many single people who’ve been sheltering in place—those without children cannot fully understand what it’s like to lack any personal space or even a moment of solitude during lockdown, either.”

Mothers who are also business owners need their employees to anticipate needs and be proactive in helping out in order to keep the business up and running. 

“This is a large ask, especially if their employees are, like these business owners, parents,” Libin says. “Prior to COVID-19, 70 percent of mothers with children under 18 did paid work, and moms made up 47 percent of the workforce. In a country that has failed to provide mandatory paid leave, affordable health care, and ensure equal pay for equal work, asking employees to anticipate and preemptively react to the needs of their employer feels like a large request. But this need also speaks to the ways in which mothers who own businesses are not adequately supported. While it would undoubtedly be beneficial for these business owners to have employees who can read their minds, what entrepreneurial moms really need are systemic support systems at the local, state, and federal level. And, of course, another crucial part of any mom’s support system is her network of other moms—her community. Having access to other women in similar situations and stages of both life and career to lean on and turn to for advice cannot be underestimated.”

In general, women take on the bulk of child care duties. This is true even in households where both partners do paid work. 23 percent of working mothers want more help from their partners regarding child care. 

Mead says that for some women, this experience could be a wake-up call, “If they had an inkling that the distribution of work was ‘off’ or uneven in some way, working from home while juggling caring for the kids is likely going to be a reality check as women come to terms with the hard truth that the distribution of work at home is still far from equal.”

“[The balance of unpaid work] hasn’t changed in so many decades…or centuries even,” Mead says. “I think women don’t know how to make it change. The resources out there to get from the current distribution of work to a better place just don’t exist or aren’t meeting women and their partners where it’s helpful.”

Every working mother has different needs. The best way to know what types of support you can offer is by  asking and listening.

—Jennifer Swartvagher

Featured photo: JESHOOTS.COM on Unsplash

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What Does the Future of Childcare Look Like?

By Andie Huber

We had the opportunity to interview Tim Allen, the CEO of Care.com, the digital platform that provides comprehensive solutions for finding, managing, and paying for childcare and more, about what life might look like this summer and how working parents can navigate the future during this new, quarantine-style world. 

How do parents navigate going back to their workplaces while schools and daycares remain closed?

“One thing that’s been abundantly clear to everyone these last few months is that childcare is simply essential for working parents. That means that access to childcare will be critical to our economic recovery. In fact, in a recent survey, we did with our members, of the more than 1,000 who responded 98% said childcare is crucial for them to get back to work. With daycares and schools closed, we expect that more families will look to hire in-home caregivers as parents return to their workplaces. In-home care is in abundant supply with a workforce of professional nannies, displaced teachers, daycare workers, and college students. In addition, having one person come to your home to care for your children is far less daunting to some parents right now because it enables them to more closely manage the number of people with whom their kids are in contact and to control the environment with things like regular handwashing.”

What are you hearing from parents about those concerns going forward?

“They are concerned about bringing caregivers into their homes and concerned about their kids going back to daycare. In our survey, more than half said they wouldn’t feel comfortable putting their child back in daycare and ¾ of those parents say they’re now more likely to hire in-home care. As a parent myself, I get it and expect that this will be an on-going discussion in most households for many months. At the end of the day, each parent has to make the decision that best suits their family.”

What do you think the childcare landscape will look like in the coming months?

“Clearly there will be changes inside daycares to control class sizes, interactions and the ability to keep things sanitized. Exactly what they will look like remains to be seen; we’re watching some of the European countries who are slowly started to re-open. And again, with daycares closed and even after they reopen, we anticipate many families will turn to in-home care as their new childcare solution.”

What about the summer?

“Many camps and summer programs are canceled. While it’s true that many camps and traditional summer programs are canceled, there is actually some good news: we parents have some time to solve for that and make alternate arrangements. One of the most challenging aspects of the last few months was how quickly schools and daycares closed. Overnight, we were all scrambling to be stand-in teachers as well as parents all while trying to work. Now with the luxury of a little advance notice, we can make new plans. Not surprisingly, most of the camps and extracurricular programs are being adapted for a digital world. We have a service—Care.com Explore—where thousands of classes and programs are now available virtually. From music to video production to art to science…it’s all there and you can put together a pretty fun summer for your kids.”

If parents are hiring nannies or sitters, what should they do to ensure a healthy environment, given the pandemic?

“It’s essential that parents and caregivers have candid conversations on this and are clear about expectations while on the job. When a caregiver is in your home and with your child, you have the right to set the house rules. For clarity, we encourage parents to have a nanny contract where everything is mapped out from salary and hours to responsibilities and yes, to expectations about maintaining certain protocols surrounding COVID-19. We encourage both families and caregivers to follow the CDC protocol guidelines and, on our website, we have recommendations on specific questions to ask during the interview process to help ease concerns.”

What else should parents think about going forward?

“The parent/caregiver relationship is unique. On the one hand, the caregiver becomes a part of your family; after all, you’re entrusting them with your child. On the other hand, you’re now a household employer and that comes with certain obligations, like paying your caregiver over the table. Our Care.com HomePay team often hears from parents who are concerned that their caregiver won’t want to be paid on the books and here’s what we counsel them:

Paying your caregiver legally is more than just the law; it’s protection for the caregiver, someone who is now a part of your family. During these last few months, while parents have been home, caregivers who’d been paid legally had access to paid sick leave, paid time off, and unemployment benefits, as well as any help offered by the federal government. Those were real benefits and real dollars at a time when it was desperately needed. As parents look to hire in-home caregivers, we urge them to start the relationship on the right foot: paying above board. Is there anything else you’re hearing from parents right now? Knowing how intertwined care and work are, we were curious if these last few months have influenced how parents think about childcare from a policy standpoint, so we asked some questions in our survey and the results were eye-opening. A whopping 92% feel that childcare is something that should get more attention from the government and 68% said that childcare policies will impact how they vote in the election this November. I think it’s fair to say that childcare is a topic we’re going to be talking about for quite some time.”

A lifest‌yle writer whose work can be seen in Red Tricycle, Money.com, Livestrong.com and Redbook. When she’s not checking out new events, museums, and restaurants to keep her and her kids entertained, she can be found wandering around flea markets and thrift stores looking for cool vintage finds.

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My Maternity Leave Wasn’t a Given, So Here’s How I Made It Work

By Keren de Zwart

photo: iStock

Ah, maternity leave. A time to adjust to parenthood, bond with your new baby, recover from childbirth and not worry about work. Unless you live in the United States, of course. But let’s not make this another depressing story about the sad state of parental leave policies in America. We all know that it sucks.

I’m a child of entrepreneurs who made flexibility for new moms and working moms a thing 25 years before it was a thing. (Is it even really a thing, now?) My dad wasn’t some visionary feminist bleeding-heart. He was a successful business man, who also happened to be a devoted family man, who knew talent when he saw it and wasn’t willing to give it up when babies came into the mix.

So in their small little tech company in the ’90s, he turned an empty office room into a pumping room/nursery where new moms could bring their babies in to work for their first six months. And guess what? He had a 100 percent retention rate on those working moms—and his business was better for it.

Fast forward 20 years when I was pregnant working for a small business not covered by FMLA or its state equivalent. I turned to my dad’s vision for some negotiating tactics when I had to fight for even one day off. Here’s my takeaway.

Bring up your need for maternity leave early.

If you work for a small company that is anything like the one I worked for when I was pregnant with my daughter, you have non-existent maternity leave policies from a non-existent HR department. The whole company flies by the seat of its pants when it comes to decisions about maternity leave, and you’re terrified to even mention it. But hear me out: you need to mention it. And soon. Don’t wait to have this conversation until you’re a week from heading out the door to have your baby.

I was petrified to tell my managing partner I was pregnant. I was the only female attorney and when I finally did tell them at 15 weeks pregnant, for no other reason than I was worried they’d get wise to my growing bump, I qualified my “I’m pregnant” with “but don’t worry, I’m more committed to my billable hours than ever and you won’t even notice a difference and I’m going to work until I have the baby, and please don’t hate me ohmygod I’m so sorry my husband and I decided to start a family because this is so inconvenient for you.”

Whether planned or a surprise, having a baby shouldn’t feel like a burden to your or your company. The earlier you have the discussion, the more time both you and your company can come up with a plan that works for everyone.

Try to consider and understand your company’s view, too.

Part of the reason the United States doesn’t have any statutory parental leave policies in place is because we view small businesses as the back-bone of this country, so there is a lot of concern about the burden it places on the business to pay you, or even to hold your job, while you take even this necessary time off.

Take my experience, for example. I was at a firm with only five attorneys, including the partners. For me to be gone for any amount of time, they either have to spread all my work amongst the remaining attorneys (truly impossible) or hire a contract attorney. Attorneys are expensive, and there’s a major learning curve to take on a load of clients in the middle of big, complex transactions. By the time the temporary attorney would get their bearings, I’d be back. And a small firm sure as hell can’t afford to pay two attorneys for one job.

Keep this reality in mind when you go in to negotiate some time off. This isn’t only about you. This is about the company, too. Be ready to find a middle ground.

Get creative.

An estimated 80 percent of companies are not federally mandated to hold your job for 12 weeks under the Family and Medical Leave Act. If you work for one of these companies, how do you negotiate your maternity leave?

First, think long and hard about what is it that you want. Are you okay with not getting paid but you really want a few months off to bond with your new babe? Can’t afford to take unpaid leave but the thought of going back after a few weeks makes you sick?

If it’s more time you want, find a way to pitch so that it’s a win for them. Can you help them find a temp to fill in for you? Did you take on additional work for someone else when they were on leave and you can suggest the same accommodation can be made for you? If you’re a valuable asset to the company, you’d be surprised how much leeway they will be willing to give. Ask for the extra time off.

If you need (or want) the money, but you need to ease into it, talk about part-time or work-from-home options. You can suggest signing a trial-period contract that is results-driven with clear metrics to ensure you’re delivering on your end (no pun intended). Who knows: if you over deliver on this, you could end up with a permanently adjusted schedule to support that work-life balance.

Don’t be afraid to revisit.

Before you have a baby (or your second or third or fourth), you don’t really know what life will be like. Maybe that career woman will be thrown out the window and you won’t be able to imagine doing anything but raising your child. Maybe, like my sister, you’ll negotiate for four and a half months off and then decide you’re ready to go back a month early. Maybe you’ll want to move to part time after baby number three.

Don’t be rigid in your view. Allow yourself flexibility to address different milestones or needs, both for you and the company.

Personally, I was more than ready to go back to work at 12 weeks, but I ran into a snag when I was rigidly committed to nursing for a year and I wasn’t making enough milk. Literally, my first week back, I did a quick calculation and was going to run out of frozen breast milk in exactly eight days. It was time to make a decision: I could switch to formula or I could talk to my boss.

Have the conversation. (Again.)

I have never had a more awkward conversation in my life than the five-minute discussion where I had to tell my male managing partner that I wasn’t producing enough breast milk and I’d like for them to consider letting me work part-time from home for three more months until I got the baby on solid foods.

He literally tried to cut me off because he was so uncomfortable, but he needed to hear what my issue was, what I needed and how I planned to address it.

We negotiated three months on a part-time salary. I’d go down to two half-days in the office, plus a few hours each day at home. If one deadline was missed or a client complained I wasn’t available, the deal was over. It worked. I was able to get everything done and more—and I happily breastfed my daughter until she was 15 months old.

You never know what wrench will be thrown into your plans. So have a Plan A, B and C—and make sure it’s one that benefits both you and your employer.

But at the end of the day, if you don’t ask, the answer is always no.

Keren is a business owner x2 (flat-fee lawyer and digital marketing operations) in active pursuit of the elusive work-life balance. With a couple of demanding jobs, a husband who travels for work and two little kids, she maintains her sanity by reading and engaging in inappropriate banter with friends, family and strangers. 

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