ML Interest Tag: fall-back-asleep

Month-by-Month Sleep Tips for the First Wild Year

by Eva Ingvarson Cerise

You know why there’s nothing sweeter than a sleeping baby? Because it takes so much work to make sleep happen. Healthy, consistent sleep habits are key for getting your baby in a good groove for snoozing. To do it, set up a calming bedtime routine, buy a white noise machine to drown out distractions, and read what these two prominent sleep experts have to say in this baby sleep guide for year one.

Dr. Harvey Karp is a pediatrician, child development expert, co-founder of smart-tech and parenting solutions company Happiest Baby, which created the SNOO Smart Sleeper Bassinet, and author of The Happiest Baby Guide to Great Sleep. Renee Wasserman, P.T., M.P.H, is an infant & child sleep consultant and child behavior consultant, as well as the founder of the consulting practice SleepyHead Solutions, where she helps parents overcome sleep challenges with their babies and toddlers. Read on for their advice and our guide to baby sleep in the first year, from awake windows and naps to sleep regressions and the sleep tools that really work.

a baby sleeps on a mother's shoulder while she checks her phone
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The good news: There are things we can do to help our babies sleep well. “Learning to sleep on your own is a skill just like learning to crawl or walk, and it takes lots of practice, consistency, and patience,” says Wasserman. “With the right plan looking at the sleep environment, routine, timing of feedings, schedule and approach to teach the skill of independent sleep, healthy sleep is achievable by all.”

Babies can differ when it comes to sleep patterns, but these guidelines will give you an idea of what to expect from naps and wake times, and how to create a healthy sleep routine for your baby. If you’re concerned about your baby’s sleep patterns, talk to your pediatrician.

Newborn Sleep Tips: Birth to 2 months

Total sleep a day:14-18 hours
Awake window between naps: 30 minutes to 1.5 hours
Naps: 45 minutes to 3 hours, several naps a day
Sleep help: swaddling, white noise, motion (smart bassinet, rocking, bouncing on a yoga ball), Dr. Karp’s the 5 S’s, described below

Newborns are usually up every 2-3 hours, even at night, which gradually extends to 3- to 5-hour stretches of nighttime sleep. To help newborns learn the difference between day and night, keep lights brighter by day, take sunny morning walks, and play upbeat music. In the evening, dim the lights and plan calmer activities, like baths, and stick to soft music and lullabies, as well as white noise.

Between birth and four months, Dr. Karp recommends the soothing technique he developed called the 5 S’s to turn on baby’s calming reflex and promote sleep. The 5 S’s are:
⚬ Swaddling—it decreases startling and re-creates the womb’s coziness.
⚬ Side/stomach position—you’ll calm a crying baby more quickly in these two positions, but, for safety, babies must be put on their back for sleep.
⚬ Shushing—making shushing noises with your mouth will soothe a fussy baby, and white noise re-creates the shushing sound that blood flow makes in the womb.
⚬ Swinging—to calm a crying child, support baby’s head and neck, and use fast, tiny swinging motions no more than one inch to each side (do this safely, no shaking).
⚬ Sucking—Whether they’re using a pacifier, their thumb, or your pinky finger, sucking soothes babies into sleep.

Related: 8 Dos and Don’ts of Baby Sleep

a baby girl on a sleep schedule sleeping in her crib for a baby sleep guide
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2-4 months

Total sleep a day: 13-14 hours
Awake window between naps: 1.5 to 2.5 hours
Naps: 30 minutes to 2 hours, 2-3 naps a day
Sleep help: white noise, blackout shades, Dr. Karp’s 5 S’s, introducing a sleep and feeding schedule, teaching your baby to self-soothe

Introduce a consistent daily schedule of feedings and sleep times. Picking up on your baby’s sleep cues (yawning or rubbing their eyes) will help you establish the schedule. And blackout shades can help babies sleep when the sun is shining. This is also a good time to introduce a sleep routine to signal to your child that it’s time for rest. Before naps, you can sing, read a book, and cuddle. The bedtime routine should be longer and can incorporate a bath, lullaby, baby massage, nursing or a bottle, soft music, white noise, and books.

A key part of creating good sleep habits is teaching babies to fall asleep independently, rather than always rocking, feeding or holding them until they fall asleep. It’s normal for children, and adults, to wake up between sleep cycles. So when babies wake, we make it easier for them to fall back asleep by putting babies to bed drowsy but awake.

“If they fall asleep while taking a bottle and then wake during the night and the bottle is gone, it often results in them crying for the bottle,” says Wasserman. “If they fall asleep on their own after being put in the crib drowsy but awake, when they wake during the night, they will be in the exact same position they were in when they fell asleep, making it easier for them to get right back to sleep.”

In fact, Dr. Karp recommends that if your baby falls asleep before being placed in their bed, wake them slightly after you lay them down, by changing their diaper, putting your cool hand on their head, or giving them a little tickle. Baby will open their eyes, moan, or move your hand before falling back to sleep.

“I know it sounds crazy to wake a sleeping baby,” says Dr. Karp. “But it helps infants learn how to self-soothe, which they can use in the middle of the night to put themselves back into slumber all on their own.”

At this age, babies are typically sleeping for 5- to 6-hour stretches, but watch out for that four-month sleep regression. Regressions usually last 2-4 weeks and typically coincide with exciting developmental and physical changes. According to Wasserman, the four-month regression generally happens as baby’s internal sleep rhythms start to settle. This can require changing your schedule so naps and nighttime sleep are better in sync with your child’s natural sleep rhythms.

a baby in a purple onesie is sleeping in a crib
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4-8 months

Total sleep a day: 12-14 hours
Awake window between naps: 2-3 hours
Naps: 30 minutes to 2 hours, 2-3 naps
Sleep help: White noise, consistent naps, and a sleep schedule allowing your baby to self-soothe

Sleep stretches of 6-8 hours are possible at this age. But babies typically start teething around this time, so wake-ups can be due to discomfort. Try chilled teethers and give extra cuddles to soothe your little one back to sleep.

When your baby cries out from the crib, wait a moment before rushing to comfort them. Yes, it will feel like the longest seconds of your life. But here’s why it’s important: Your baby may be able to self-soothe to get back to sleep, thanks to all the work you’ve been doing to put them down drowsy but awake.

If you suspect hunger is waking your baby at night, make sure they’re feeding well before bedtime to fill them up. You can also introduce a dream feed, which means nursing or giving your half-asleep baby a bottle before you go to bed for the night.

At 8-9 months, prepare for another sleep regression. According to Wasserman, this regression is usually tied to babies dropping their third nap. She recommends moving bedtime a little earlier to keep your little one from becoming overtired as they get used to being awake longer before bed.

Related: 23 Swaddles & Baby Sleep Sacks We Love

a baby sleeping on his stomach for a baby sleep guide
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9-12 months

Total sleep a day: 12-14 hours
Awake window between naps: 2.5-4 hours
Naps: 1-2 hours, 2-3 per day
Sleep help: White noise, consistent naps, and a sleep schedule allowing your baby to self-soothe

As babies approach the one-year mark, they may be sleeping up to 7-10 hours at a stretch, and it will feel as glorious for you as it sounds. But don’t get too comfortable because, with walking and other exciting baby milestones and developmental leaps on the horizon, sleep may get interrupted again.

Around 12 months, another sleep regression is likely. This one is usually linked to learning to walk and may result in your baby refusing to nap. Wasserman recommends not giving up on naps or switching to one nap just yet. Instead, hang tight and be consistent with two naps as your baby moves through this regression in a few weeks.

The happy ending to this wild year? Understanding your baby’s natural sleep rhythms, creating a soothing environment for rest, building an adaptable schedule of sleep and feedings, and teaching your baby to self-soothe and sleep independently have built a foundation of good sleep habits that will help your child (and you!) sleep well for years to come.

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More Sleep Makes You a More Mindful Mom

By Jake Rubin

As a parent, the idea of getting more sleep sounds about as possible as your toddler never throwing another tantrum. Sleep is like the Holy Grail of motherhood, and while finding it won’t reward you with eternal life, it will undoubtedly give you a renewed spirit.

You might think sleep is a luxury you can’t afford, but truth be told, it’s an investment in being the best mom you can be. No wonder there’s a whole week devoted to getting more shut-eye! Yep, that’s right—we’re now in National Sleep Awareness Week, which runs from Mar. 14 through Mar. 20 this year.‍

Of course, we get it, you want to sleep, but your kids wake you up at all hours (insert reason 1,098,097 here). Or, your kids finally sleep through the night, but you can’t shut your brain off long enough to settle into a restful slumber. Well, don’t worry. In honor of National Sleep Awareness Week, here are a few tips for snagging the sleep you need to be a more mindful mom.

1. Know When to Say Goodnight
Does this sound familiar? The kids are finally asleep, and you decide now it’s the perfect time to finish up that last-minute project, wash the dishes, or simply binge-watch Netflix. The only problem is, you’re also exhausted. The next thing you know, it’s at least 11 p.m., and you’re finally crawling into bed, only to have your kids bouncing on top of you by 6 a.m. or even earlier.

Start training yourself to go to bed earlier so you can face the next day with a more refreshed outlook. It won’t be an easy habit to start, but you can do it with patience and consistency. Each evening, after the kids are in bed, allow yourself to take a few minutes to finish up a small task (accomplishing small goals is a great confidence boost), but only do something that will take you about 20 minutes or less. Then, it’s time to unwind and get ready for bed. If you usually get in bed around 11 p.m., then the first night, shoot for 10:45, the next 10:30, and so on, until you can get in bed by about 9 or 9:30.

2. Snag Some Mini-Snoozes during the Day
Yes, napping is like a dirty secret that no mom wants anyone to know about, but it’s a perfect way to recharge during the day. If your baby is sleeping, then you sleep. If your kids are at school, close your eyes for about 5-to-10 minutes a couple of times throughout the day. It might not sound like much, but you would be amazed at how much these frequent mini-naps can do for your overall sense of well-being and patience.

3. Have a Bedtime Routine (for You)
You probably have a set bedtime routine for your kids; maybe it’s getting a bath, brushing teeth, reading a book, then saying goodnight. You need a routine too. As you’re working on bumping your bedtime to an earlier time, start building your routine. Do something that helps you relax, like a cup of chamomile tea, a crossword puzzle, read a book.

Keep a journal next to your bed and take a few minutes before hitting your pillow to write down anything that’s on your mind, whether it’s things you have to do the next day or something troubling you. This gets all of these thoughts out of your brain so you can focus on sleep. Then, right before you go to bed, check out a MamaZen Mindpower Session to help you drift off to dreamland.

4. Dealing with Interruptions to Your Sleep
Of course, these tips are great for prioritizing your sleep, but children love to throw monkey wrenches into plans! So what happens when you’re finally sleeping deep, and your kids start crying or tugging on your covers at 3 a.m.? Well, it’s going to happen, so take a breath, put the kiddos back in bed (try not to put them in yours), then focus on your breathing as you fall back asleep. It also helps to keep everything as dark as possible as you put your children back to sleep, and do so as quickly and calmly as you can. Making a big deal about it will only prolong the situation.

A well-rested mom is a happier and healthier mom. For more ways to draft off to a better sleep, check out the MamaZen app and audio sessions that will help you start making sleep a priority in your life.

 

This post originally appeared on MamaZen Blog.

Jake Y. Rubin, M.A, is a Board Certified Hypnotherapist, a former university professor of psychology, and a recognized expert in hypnosis and hypnotherapy with degrees in Psychology from UCLA and the California School of Professional Psychology at Alliant International University. He is the founder of the MamaZen app.

 

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How I Soak in the Small Moments

By Tabitha Cabrera

Earlier this week, Nixon woke up around 5:00 a.m. crying. As I picked him up out of his bed, his long legs were freezing. The temperature in Phoenix had dropped, and he loves to sleep with just an overnight pull-up. He has four blankets on his bed but usually ends up sleeping on top of them.

I carried him into our room, and he snuggled under the covers. This has happened a handful of times since he was a baby. Once he is awake, he does not go back to sleep. But this morning, he snuggled in, put his head in my arms, and went back to sleep.

I felt lucky for this moment. I had hoped many times in the past that Nixon would fall back asleep, and I could get 45 extra minutes of rest. This morning I listened to him sleep, our dog Marty snuggled up next to him, and his wild brown hair hung in his face.

I did not go back to sleep. I took in the moment, soaked it in.

I have learned to appreciate, in our unique parenting journey, to soak in the rare and swift moments when things feel the way I imagined parenting would.

Nixon has never woken me up by running and jumping on our bed, yelling, “Mom”. He has never called me over and over from the other room. After a day of school, he hasn’t run to my arms to tell me about a new friend he made or a completed project.

At least not yet. I had imagined these moments when I thought about mothering.

In the night, Nixon has called for me, requesting me to hold him for a couple of minutes longer. He has given me a half-grin when I asked him how his school day was. He has requested a daily trip for a simple ice cream cone on his ride home from his therapy program over and over.

He has surprised me with his soul filled with adventure. Not afraid to swim in cold creek water, run up a hiking trail with the rocks falling below him, and walk into the woods like a lead character in a children’s book.

He loves his brown hair falling in his face as he submerges his face underwater. I worry that it blocks his vision and tuck it behind his ears, which he protests by swiftly removing it.

He often calls for his sister when we leave the house, knowing she is left behind. Something that shocked me the first time he did it. Recognizing that she wouldn’t be by his side as he went off to his program.

He loves pizza, dinosaurs, sand flowing through his hands, baths, and water.

I have learned that it can feel how I imagined parenting to be, even if the circumstances of what it looks like are different.

I realize that no parent knows who their children are going to be before they are born. And no parent knows what kind of parenting they are going to need to do before they have children.

My heart sings when he asks for something over and over again because it took him four years to learn how to request something verbally. My heart runs to him when he calls me in the night because I know he needs his Mom to comfort him. My heart is filled with pride when I see a tiny half grin when I ask him about his day. Even if he does not yet know how to answer my question, he knows I will continue to ask until he is ready.

I will soak up each moment because it does feel the way I imagined it would.

Our book is not written. I am surprised at how we are writing our story each day. I am happy to have these moments, and that autism has made me open my eyes to feel each one carefully. Because they are our moments, maybe he won’t remember that morning, but I know I will.

Tabitha Cabrera, lives in Arizona with her husband, and two beautiful children. She works as an Attorney and enjoys spending her time in a public service role. The family loves nature and ventures outdoors as much possible. Come check out her little nature babies

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Mark Zuckerberg Invented a Device to Help His Wife Get More Sleep & Sign Us Up

by Shahrzad Warkentin

Motherhood can turn you into a sleep deprived mombie. Facebook co-founder Mark Zuckerberg put his skills to work on a device that helps his wife get more sleep and you’re going to want one too.

Zuckerberg noticed that his wife Priscilla Chan, mom of their two daughters, Maxima “Max,” three, and August, one and a half, would wake up often in the middle of the night anxious that the kids were about to wake up. “Being a mom is hard, and since we’ve had kids Priscilla has had a hard time sleeping through the night,” Zuckerberg wrote of his invention. “She’ll wake up and check the time on her phone to see if the kids might wake up soon, but then knowing the time stresses her out and she can’t fall back asleep.”

To remedy the problem Zuckerberg created a device called the Sleep Box that resembles a wooden box. Between the hours of 6 a.m. and 7 a.m. the box emits a faint light that lets her know that it’s a decent hour for the kids to be awake. The light is dim enough that she can fall back asleep if she gets lucky and the kids are sleeping in. In the middle of the night if she wakes too early one brief glance at the box is enough to tell her she can roll over and go back to sleep.

Zuckerberg shared his new invention in a Facebook post which quickly racked up likes and comments, especially from moms. Some were quick to point out that the Sleep Box is like the mom version of the wake clock designed to keep kids from getting out of bed too early.

For moms hoping to get one of their own, there is some hope that they could eventually hit stores. “As an engineer, building a device to help my partner sleep better is one of the best ways I can think of to express my love and gratitude,” he wrote. “A bunch of my friends have told me they’d want something like this, so I’m putting this out there in case another entrepreneur wants to run with this and build sleep boxes for more people!”

—Shahrzad Warkentin

Featured photo: StockSnap via Pixabay

 

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The Truth about Teething & Night Disruptions Surprises Most Parents

By Desiree Baird

As a sleep consultant I still have to overcome hurdles. I don’t want you to think my “sleep” life is perfect or that I never hit “bumps in the road” because guess what… I do!

In fact, just last night my nine-month-old woke up at 9 p.m. screaming. I immediately looked at the video monitor: he was safe, so I let him fuss a little since his screaming went to a dull fuss. After 15 minutes of him crying, I just couldn’t take it any longer.

I went upstairs, did a quick check to ensure he didn’t have a “surprise” for me in his diaper. Felt his forehead (no fever), picked him up, gave him a hug and then left the room. When I left the room the scream was worse than ever before, Still, I let that go because I know my son and I know that once he sees me, he’ll cry harder. He eventually fell back to sleep.

However, all night he tossed and turned and fussed here and there (only a few minutes at a time) and this unfortunately resulted in not a good sleep for me. So yes, these nights do happen to me–but I also know how to handle them.

Today I have been in-tuned to him. Checking his temperature, rubbing his belly, giving him extra snuggles, looking for teeth and yet… nothing!!A part of me wants to blame it on teething, but I truly do not think that is what it is. Since I know quite a bit and how it affects teeth, I thought I would share that with you so if you ever have a night like I did—so you too can rule out teething.

The scary truth about teething…

Teething and sleep problems don’t always translate believe it or not. A lot of parents blame their teething baby or toddler for sleep problems. Well I’m here to burst your bubbles, moms and dads: there has been research showing that teething doesn’t cause long-term sleep disruptions.

Of course, teething does cause pain, but it doesn’t cause consistent symptoms. Symptoms usually start two days prior to the tooth erupting through the gums and is sore about two to three days after it has cut through the gums.

Sometimes, as noted in this article written by Melinda Wenner, teething sleep disruptions only occur on the day that a child’s tooth erupts and one day after. No symptoms regularly occurred i the days “before” the toothed appeared.

So my little guy didn’t wake up with a tooth this morning, nor did it pop through before his afternoon nap. I am guessing that he is “not” teething. This is a good sign, but bad for me because now I’m wondering, “What is wrong with him?” I’m going to chalk it up to just a bad day, or maybe he has a tummy ache or just going through a clingy phase.

However, I may never know—but I know one thing is for sure, teething didn’t cause that middle of the night waking last night. I do know that disruptions in sleep for any reason are normal and should be expected: it’s how I react (or how any parent reacts) to the sleep disruption. I reacted the right way.

If you should you find yourself with a child who is showing obvious signs of teething—a visibly erupting tooth, digestive disturbances, drooling—and who is waking overnight due to the possible discomfort, your best bet is to treat the discomfort however your doctor advises you to. Comfort them and put them down AWAKE!

Even if they protest falling asleep (like my little guy did), once you’ve done what you can to treat, care and comfort them, your child needs to fall back to sleep on their own. If you begin helping them fall asleep like creating a new habit of rocking, nursing or holding to sleep, then they could being wanting the same assistance ever time it’s time for them to fall asleep.

You don’t want to create a bad habit and you are not hurting your child if they protest after you leave their room and you’ve done all you can do. If you make sure to always allow your child to put themselves to sleep, the disruption in sleep resulting from teething will pass quite quickly.

If you instead make “an exception” and begin to assist them again, you will find that once the tooth has erupted and any associated discomfort has passed, that the interrupted sleep will remain and you will have to train your child to fall asleep without your help once again.

By giving my baby the opportunity to fall back asleep on his own, checking on him since he didn’t right away, and since I knew he was okay, I left the room—despite knowing he got more irate, since I didn’t run into him again and react. Eventually, he went back to sleep. Here’s hoping for a better night tonight!

Featured Photo Courtesy: Ben_Kerckx via Pixabay

Desiree is a certified sleep consultant and holds her M.A. in Journalism from Point Park University. After having twins in 2008, she became slightly obsessed with infant sleep and sleep rhythms and wanted to help educate others. She resides with her husband and three children just 30 minutes north of Seattle.

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