I Have 8 Kids & This Is What Distance Learning Looks Like in My House

by Jennifer SwartvagherNovember 5, 2020

Our series, Family Tales, is an honest peek into the daily lives of families across the country who are on this crazy ride we call parenthood! From divulging childcare costs to breaking down family finances to managing a virtual school year with multiple kids, we tap into the Red Tricycle army of parents to find out how they’re making it work. This series is a judgment-free zone.

Interested in telling your story? Start by filling out our questionnaire here. All stories are anonymous.

Our New Normal (with 8 Kids) Is Not as Chaotic as I Thought It Would Be

Name & Occupation: Jennifer Swartvagher, Social Media Editor, Facebook & Twitter at Red Tricycle/Tinybeans

My partner’s occupation: Technical Solutions Architect

City: Wappingers Falls, NY

Grades my kids are in: daughter in 10th, daughter in 9th, daughter in 6th and son in 4th. They go to three different schools and are attending virtually. I also have four older children living here and away from home (working/attending college). My 24-year-old lives and works in NYC, my 19-year-old trains as an aerial skier at the Utah Olympic Park in Park City, UT and my 18-year-old is a freshman at the Rochester Institute of Technology. My 22-year-old works at her alma mater and lives at home.

What is your current schooling situation: This summer our school district, which is the largest in our area, decided it would not be feasible for students to go back in person 100 percent and I totally agreed. Parents had the opportunity to decide if we wanted our kids to stay entirely remote for the first semester or go back hybrid on a staggered schedule by grade. Those who chose hybrid would go back 2 days a week (either M/T or Th/F) depending on last name. We still aren’t clear if students will attend live lessons on the off days or if it will be strictly asynchronous.

Hybrid K-2 supposedly starts next week and more grades will be introduced weekly until high school goes back at the very end of October. We chose to keep our kids 100 percent remote for the first quarter, but we have no idea what that looks like once hybrid learning starts. Will the kids stay with their current teachers or will they have their courses switched? If we choose hybrid later on down the road, will they change teachers again? New revised bus schedules were released yesterday and start/finish times have been adjusted for hybrid with some schools starting at 9:25 am. I don’t know what any of this means for us but I try not to dwell on the unknown.

When we were thrown into distance learning last spring we were drowning. The makeshift desk we set up in between the dining room and living room was not going to cut it going into the new school year. Last spring, Google meets were missed, Zoom calls for work were interrupted and everyone fell behind on their assignments. We literally handed in one of my son’s major assignments on the last day of school (It was assigned a full month before.) The ball was literally dropped over and over again. Thank goodness my daughter’s aide was able to step in (virtually) when I became too busy with my job. Without live instruction, kids with special needs like my daughter would fall through the cracks without extra support at home.

In order to have a successful school year, things had to change and they needed to change drastically. My kids needed a quiet place dedicated to school and they needed more attention than I could offer while working full-time. A new family room/school room was our priority and I needed to have some hard conversations about my role at work. We bought a desk, transformed the family room into a classroom and I transitioned to a part-time position.

My sixth grader has had severe pulmonary issues since she was a few months old when her O2 plummeted into the 40s and she needed to be airlifted to the nearest children’s hospital. My fourth grader was born at 24 weeks, spending the first few months of his life on a ventilator. They both suffer from bronchitis and pneumonia at least twice a year. This paired with my sixth grader’s unique special needs makes returning to the classroom a very scary prospect.

Early Morning: everyone’s more relaxed without a commute
My alarm goes off at 6 a.m. and then again at 6:10 a.m. I (try to) drag my butt out of bed to have some quiet time with Hoda Kotb and Al Roker before the school day begins. The teenagers get up around the same time, put on a full face of makeup and start making their breakfast of lattes and avocado toast while I ponder which pair of black leggings to wear. The little ones are enticed out of their beds by the promise of “Little Bites” or frozen waffles. Miraculously everyone is ready to go by start time and I am so happy we have such a short commute downstairs. This is the first year that we aren’t plagued with “Monday Morning Malaria.” No one suffers from before school tummy aches and everyone is happy to sign on for classes. All of our school anxiety from the past is gone. I am afraid it will return when we go back to school two days a week.

Morning: My kids need constant supervision, which reinforces my decision to remain at my job part-time
Everyone heads downstairs around 8 a.m. and we settle in at our workstations. I make sure everyone has their Google Classrooms keyed up while I check my emails. My husband works from home but has multiple meetings each day, so he stays upstairs where it is quiet. Sometimes one of the kids will grab their laptop and set up shop next to him at the dining room table, especially if they are getting distracted or have a test to take.

The high school girls sign in to their first classes at 8:10 a.m. They meet with each of their teachers for eight 25 minute periods of live instruction. Classwork and homework is posted to be completed after the school day ends at 12:05 p.m.

My fourth grader has his morning meeting at 8:25 a.m. The class says the pledge of allegiance every morning along to a video of Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson. I often tell him to hurry up because “The Rock” is waiting for him. The fourth graders put in a full day moving from class to class (or Google Classroom to Google Classroom). This is the first year that they are switching classes, so they have one teacher for math, science and social studies and another for reading and writing. The teachers present the lessons and then the kids break off and complete their classwork on Google Classroom. I usually bring down single serve snack bags and water bottles to give to my son when he starts to get antsy. Some days he works straight through but there are days he needs some encouragement or a fidget to keep him focused. I purchased an exercise ball for him to sit and bounce on when he really needs to get his wiggles out. I’m seriously considering some alternative seating options for him.

This is my sixth grader’s first year in a self contained classroom. She is extremely lucky to have looped up with her teacher from last year. Last spring when remote learning started, my daughter floundered, needing constant support throughout the day. She signed on with her aide daily to help power her through her lessons.

This year she is surprisingly self sufficient, to the point that she does not want my help. I am not sure if it is the new structure of her class, the live lessons throughout the day or if it is her love of computers that keeps her focused and working hard. She has actually expressed to me that she prefers learning online to being in the classroom. Her sheer drive to learn this year paired with her special health needs makes me think I will keep her remote all year if I have the choice. I have to take into consideration the related services she receives each day, but I think I can provide most of the additional support she requires.

As I said, she knows her way around a computer better than most. I have caught her logging into YouTube or Roblox on her breaks and losing track of time, but that has only happened when I was distracted or out of the room. I am researching ways to block those sites during instructional hours. The need for my constant supervision reinforces my decision to remain part-time.

Afternoon: We stick to their schedules
Everyone breaks for lunch at a different time. The week before school started I created an area in the kitchen with cubbies to store quick and easy snacks and lunches.

Can you say unlimited ramen and mac and cheese bowls?

Since they all know how to use a microwave, I can (mostly) work through the lunch hour(s) without too much worry.

After lunch, the older girls settle in to finish their homework while I make sure the little ones get back on their live lessons on time. I almost have each schedule committed to memory but I have all four schedules written out and color-coded on a large dry erase board over the desk. I also have a separate calendar to keep track of which cycle day it is. Our district runs on a six day cycle. Now since distance learning began, Monday is Day 1, Tuesday is Day 2, Thursday is Day 4, Friday is Day 5 and Wednesdays alternate weekly with Days 3 and 6 just to keep us on our toes.

Right now, the little ones are finished with school between 3:05 p.m. and 3:25p.m. When hybrid learning starts their schedules will be altered to accommodate the students going into the classroom. My sixth grader’s school will start and end an hour after my fourth grader.

Evening: It’s off to the dance studio and then dinner
After putting in so many hours in front of a screen, I encourage the kids to put down their laptops and play a game or go outside. The kids participate in socially distant, masked dance classes in the evenings. We are at the dance studio four days a week. The kids enter the studio and have have their temperature taken before class. They are dismissed 10 minutes early so the studio can be disinfected between classes. I either drop off or wait in the car depending on how long their classes are. Between the four of them, they take 11 classes. The dance studio is our home away from home and I really miss the adult conversations and friendships I’ve made there. We still do connect but it’s not the way it used to be. You may think it sounds crazy but the studio has become a part of our family. That’s probably the only reason I trust them with my kids during this time.

I am trying to use my crockpot more and plan out meals, but I haven’t been as successful as I had hoped. I even hung up a meal planner in the kitchen, except before last week it had the same menu on it that I planned back in July. My goal is to spend a little more time on meal prep on the weekends, and to get the kids involved. They tried to come up with a meal plan that kicked off with Marshmallow Mondays, but I quickly squelched that idea. It’s truly a work in progress.

We do indulge in the family dinner special from our favorite Italian restaurant in town once a week (it’s on the way home from the dance studio.) We’ve ordered Chinese food more times than I’d care to admit and sometimes I throw pizza bites in the oven and call that a meal. My kids are just as happy with a can of soup as they are with a home cooked meal, it just depends on the presentation.

End of the Day: Accepting to expect the unexpected
Every day I serve as a teacher, an aide, a speech therapist, an occupation therapist, a physical therapist, a counselor, a writer and a mom. This year I don’t feel that my daughter is falling through the cracks because of her special needs, in fact, I feel that the past few weeks have been among the best of her academic career. She is reading more, talking more and advocating for herself more. The child who hated reading is finishing books quicker than I can supply them. She wants to learn how to code, she wants to create new things and she is even planning on starting her own business. We are teaching her how to create a business plan and budget her money. We even held our own version of Shark Tank where she convinced the investors (me and my husband) to give her a business loan. Her lessons are going beyond the classroom and if she was physically in the school building all day she wouldn’t have the time or energy to devote to these other projects.

My high schoolers have shown how responsible they are with getting managing their schedules and getting their assignments in on time. They have also been instrumental in helping the little ones navigate Google Classroom when I am busy with work or on a meeting. Spending all of this time together in close quarters has strengthened their relationships. They still argue (a lot) over silly things like who is chewing too loud, but I know they have each other’s backs no matter what. My husband and I are still working at managing our schedules while remaining available during the school day. Although it is hard, and we’ve needed to make sacrifices, we know having them home is worth it in the long run.

Our plan is to reevaluate hybrid versus remote learning quarterly and accommodate each of our children’s needs on a case by case basis. The older ones may go back, the little ones might stay home, we may not go back until spring or we may stay remote for the entire academic year. If this past year has taught me anything, I have learned to expect the unexpected and make the most of the time the kids are home with me.

—Jennifer Swartvagher

Distance Learning Has Its Perks…but at the Cost of My Independence

by Annette BenedettiOctober 21, 2020

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Distance Learning Has Made My Teenagers Happier & I Have No Regrets

Name and occupation: Annette Benedetti, Portland editor at Red Tricycle

My parenting partner’s occupation: Business Owner

City: Portland

Age of kid(s): 10-year-old son, 15-year-old non-binary child, 18-year-old daughter

School set-up in 2020: My son is in 5th grade at a nearby elementary school. My 15-year-old attends an arts-focused charter middle school and my 18-year-old just started college here in Portland and lives at home. All of my children are attending school online and distance learning as Portland schools are all remote at this time.

My job is a work-from-home position. In the past, I would drop the kids off at school and work in the silence of my home office until pickup time. The new school-from-home setup has changed the rhythms of my home and work life significantly. In many ways I have come to love it. The morning arguments and begging my son to get dressed and in the car on time are gone (as is the early wakeup). And, having to deal with the school traffic, drop-off lines, and the inevitable interactions with other parents long before I’m ready to be social are thankfully gone! However, so is my alone time. And my household upkeep expectations have severely changed. With five people at home around the clock, I spend a large amount of my time cleaning and tending to my kids as opposed to working or pursuing my personal interests and hobbies. Most days wearing an apron from dawn to dusk would make complete sense (and probably cut down on the non-stop laundry). And while I don’t have to wash my face and put on real “day clothes” to go pick my kids up from school anymore, my new stay-at-home life has me feeling just a smidge like a 50’s housewife.

Mornings

My parenting partner is an early riser. Seriously. He gets up extra early for fun. So, I sleep in while he wakes the kids and makes sure they have breakfast before he leaves for work. This is really one of the highlights of the new online school format for me. I’m a night owl, and early mornings bring out the worst in me.

By the time I wake up, my son is at his desk in his room attending class. I bought school organizers that help him keep his space nice and tidy…for a while at least. Both of my other children work from their rooms as well. The older two have their own laptops and are allowed to have their room set up however they like. For the most part, they tend to work from their beds or join each other in one or the other’s room to work together. I think it helps fend off loneliness. My primary job in the morning is to make sure none of my children have crawled back in bed to “skip school.”

A lesson I learned real fast was that none of them appreciate me looking over their shoulders. They are all tech savvy and capable of managing their class schedule and work on their own. It took me a bit to realize that I wouldn’t be able to interrupt their school day if they were in an actual classroom, so I needed to extend the same courtesy…for the most part.

Once I’ve made sure all of my kids are on task, I clean up the horrendous breakfast mess that has inevitably been left for me, feed the dogs and then walk them. This takes up a surprisingly large portion of my morning. At this point, I have just enough time to check e-mails and respond to any work concerns before the crew gets hungry again.

Lunch Break

My son has lunch at the same time every day: 11:30 a.m. I usually take this opportunity to offer to make him something he likes. Half the time he takes me up on his offer, half of the time he says he wants to make his own lunch. Who am I to argue with that? Around the same time, my teens meander into the kitchen to scrounge for their own midday bites. If they don’t find something they like, they pile into the car to venture out for for food. I imagine this helps them fend of cabin fever.

Lunch time is a good time to check in with my kids and gently prod about assignments and where they are in their studies. I’ve learned quickly not to ask too many questions…or I’ll likely get my head bit off for being naggy. I typically eat a light lunch with whomever is in the kitchen and then workout. My weekly workouts are non-negotiable. If there’s one thing that COVID-19 and quarantine has taught me, it’s that my mental and physical health are a top priority. If I’m going to keep my head on straight and my temper in check with three tween/teens in my home, I have to workout my anxiety and stay healthy.

I usually get a quick run in and then put on a workout video. My workout lasts anywhere from 25 minutes to an hour. By the time I’m done, my kids are back in class.

School Work/Work Work

Once the kids are back in their rooms, I’m reminded exactly why I am so grateful to not be a 1950’s housewife. With the kitchen in disarray from the storm of children who blew through it, I set back to work cleaning while my kids attend class. Once the kitchen is clean, I sit down to pound out as much work as possible before the kids break free from their studies. Sometimes a child will wander in to ask questions or beg for attention. That’s when I’m most thankful for the workout I chose not to sluff off as I pretend to be happy to give them attention instead of staying focused on my work task.

I have to admit, while I try to give my kids space and time to attend class on their own, I do sneak around a bit and listen in to make sure they doing what they are supposed to. And when I hear my son’s teacher talking to him, I pop in the room and pretend I’m doing something meaningful so she knows I am paying attention.

At the end of the school day, which usually comes at 1:30-ish p.m., my kids get to do what they please, though I often assign them a chore or two. As you can imagine, they hit the kitchen for snacks and then head out to “hang out.”

I clean up after them.

End of Day & Bed Time

My primary “work day” happens in the afternoon, and sometimes well into the night (like now). It’s when the house is the quietest and I can focus. My son has to be in his bed by 9 p.m., which sometimes stretches. It’s the only time of day when we do have little squabbles. Living through a pandemic has changed my feelings about strict bedtimes and meal times. We play it fairly loose these days. I think the kids have enough stress in their lives. I just can’t see the point in making an already stressful situation worse.

My older kids are on their own at bedtime. I’m not going to lie, oftentimes as I’m heading to bed at 11:30 p.m. (if I’m lucky), I hear them giggling downstairs. I ignore it. The laughter in the house is needed.

There are things I love about this new school schedule. I appreciate the loose rules and the reprioritization of what is important in my household. For example, my older children value their relationship with one another more than ever before. And homework is no longer a thing for my son (his teacher doesn’t assign it) allowing for more screen-free play and family time after school. Additionally, mental health and stress reduction is now prioritized over school performance.

I also like seeing how my son’s day is going and knowing he won’t get in trouble with a teacher for wiggling in his seat, moving too much or talking out of turn: a regular occurrence over the past couple of years. Now he can wiggle and spin in his chair as much as he wants as long as he’s listening and getting he work done (I just shut the door and it doesn’t bother me a bit!). And, I love how much closer this has brought my older kids who seem to love sharing the school day with one another.

Probably the biggest benefit of distance learning is that my children no longer come home with stories of being bullied. My oldest no longer has to deal with racism in class, my middle doesn’t complain about kids teasing her about her hair, and my youngest can’t get in those foursquare squabbles.They all now have a carefully curated group of friends who are all supportive and kind. And I no longer have to constantly be prepared for emails from PPS informing me there was a gun brought to school or the school was in a lockdown because of some threat nearby. Best of all? All of my children actually seem pretty excited about school, and that’s an entirely new experience.

In general, I could keep doing this forever…as long as they eventually learn how to put their dirty dishes in the dishwasher now and again.

—Annette Benedetti

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We’re Doing Hybrid Learning & Welcome to Chaos

by Mimi O'ConnorOctober 14, 2020

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The Stark Reality Behind Hybrid Learning in New York City

Name and occupation: Mimi O’Connor, NYC Editor, Red Tricycle

Spouse occupation: Television producer

City: Brooklyn, NY

Grade my kid is in: Third Grade

School set-up in 2020: My daughter attends an NYC public school in Brooklyn. NYC is the only major public school system to attempt a (daunting) mix of in-person and remote (i.e. virtual) learning, dubbed “hybrid.”

When I think about the beginning of the 2020/2021 school year in New York City, a few adages come to mind. For example, “If you don’t like the weather [insert location], wait five minutes,” or “If you want to make god laugh, just tell him your plans.” Also, “OMG WTF I’m losing my mind.” Not only is the situation challenging, the challenging situation keeps changing—the start date, the revised start date, what remote learning looks like., etc.

I believe our school and teachers are doing the best they can and there are other forces at work, but it’s also impossible to plan and the chaos has taken its toll on parents throughout NYC.

Right now, our school week has been a melange of remote-school with some synchronous learning, in-person school and a trial day of a learning pod we’ve been hoping to get together. (It’s been slow-going due to struggles in finding a teacher, navigating differences in priorities and budgets, but we’re making progress.)

Mimi O’Connor

Giving Hybrid a Whirl

Our experience with remote learning in the spring moved us solidly into the option with some in-person teaching, as we found ourselves in an unsustainable place of managing/coaxing/yelling at our daughter about assignments and too much Minecraft—the last of which she’d never even played pre-pandemic. It sucked.

More to the point, our daughter is very social and clearly thrives on/needs the in-person feedback from teachers and fellow students alike. I’ve heard remote learning actually suited some children better, but that’s not our kid.

Are we worried about any of us getting sick? Sure, a bit. But we’re trying to be careful, have faith in our school and at this point are willing to take a calculated risk for the “normal” school experience our daughter has so desperately missed since March.

What Does Hybrid Mean, Exactly?

Better than me trying to to explain how often our daughter goes to in-person school, here’s the school’s “co-hort” schedule for October. (The long answer: on a three week-schedule, she attends every Thursday; on Week One she also attends Tuesday, on Week Two she also attends Monday. So yes, Week Three, she’s in person one day a week.)

Note: To try to set up any kind of learning pod, the kids had to be in the same co-hort, so they would be doing in-person or virtual learning on the same days. (One of our members had to request a switch, and the school was very responsive in making the switch.)

Mimi O’Connor

Waking Up and Getting Up Are Not the Same Thing In Our House

There’s a difference between waking up, and getting up, in our house. While I am often the last one to be conscious (7:30, 7:45 a.m?), my husband and daughter are usually awake before me. It’s not unusual for me to find her in her fancy new tent that she bought with Amazon gift cards watching something on her iPad, or for my husband to ease himself into the day perusing the headlines in bed.

I head down to make coffee—we have a quasi-commercial-grade “velocity brew” Bunn machine that we can prep the night before and makes a pot in about three minutes—and start rattling the cages to get her moving.

Whether I get dressed or not depends on if I’m taking her to school. Typically, I don’t shower, either because I’m sucked into my computer/work or because I have the idea that I’m going to work out later and will sweat so what’s the point. (Sometimes, it does happen, thanks to this slim little treadmill I love.)

Mimi O’Connor

And Now for Something Completely Different: “Real” School

The exciting days we walk to school, line up six-ish feet apart, our daughter gets her temperature checked and in she goes. There are eight kids in her in-person class. As it stands, she’ll go about five days a month, but not only is it good for her mental health, she gets a ton of attention from her two teachers when she is there. (We figure it’s like private school on steroids.)

I picked her up on the first day of in-person school, and while it was a little weird—the kids lined up six feet apart in the school yard—it was also triumphant. When asked how her first day was, my daughter said, “Interesting…” which quickly turned to “AMAZING!!!”

In recent days, our longtime babysitter picks her up and they head to the park, a hotbed of activity for the elementary set and beyond. (We so, so, appreciate this time now—outdoor, free play, with friends—and try to soak up as much as we can while the weather still allows.)

Mimi O’Connor

Remote & Close at Hand

On remote days, our daughter is set up in her room with a desk we had to convince her needed to be cleared off so that she had space to do her work. (It was piled high with graphic novels and the many doo-dads that a third grader accumulates.)

Her remote school day is a mix of “synchronous instruction” (live lessons from her teachers with classmates), followed by offline times for working on assignments connected to those lessons. There is also a morning meeting and closing meeting, and the hours mirror an in-person school day.

She has an Echo Dot in her bedroom—an impulse bargain buy of my husband’s on Prime day I think. We use it to schedule alarms for her different “synchronous learning” sessions throughout the day with teachers and her class, and she uses it to listen to music (the same five pop songs).

Whether she’s remote or in-person, my husband and I share a small office during the day, with one or the other dipping out to other rooms for Zoom meetings and conference calls as needed. We tag team on making lunch, depending on who is busy at that time.

Our daughter’s room is next door to the office, so we’re in tune with what she’s doing (or not doing). She also pops out to ask for help, guidance on how to spell a word, report on what she just finished, etc. (She also comes in demanding food, messing with us and generally distracting us. I can’t blame her, but it makes us considerably less productive and more frazzled than when she’s not here.)

Sometimes we prompt her to put in a little more effort—say, write more than one, phoned-in sentence for an answer, and generally this does not go well. (See: the importance of a teacher that’s not us, and her peers.)

Julie Chervinsky

Building a Pod: Not So Easy—or Cheap!

Which leads us to the pod. Parents around the country have been abuzz about pandemic learning pods, and those in New York City are no different. We’d established a very informal pandemic “bubble” by early-summer, doing some careful, masked, outdoor play dates with a couple of families so that the kids, who were clearly suffering, would not go insane.

The idea of returning to remote learning and experiencing a do-over of the spring was not an option, even if virtual learning would be more robust in the fall. Our small bubble pow-wowed about putting together a remote-day “pod”, brainstorming activities and possible outside solutions. Our goal is to have some kind on in-person support for the kids on remote days, helping them with both their class assignments, and, when possible, providing additional enrichment/mental stimulation.

We soon learned that prices ranged from costing a fortune ($10,000 per kid), to costing a smaller fortune ($35/hour/kid), to affordable for some, with a person who probably wasn’t up to providing the academic support we hoped for. (It seems like certified teachers were snapped up by the “pod-organizing services”, which charge a significant markup for their match-making.) Of course, we’re all well aware that having any additional funds to support kids’ learning in this time is a luxury. It does not feel great, but we’re doing it.

We didn’t need a lifer Golden Apple-award winner, and I searched for a plucky grad student by calling programs in the city, reaching out to alumni groups on LinkedIn and in forums on Facebook, but to no avail.

Finally, as it often happens in New York, “my husband’s cousin’s tutor” was highly recommended. (But for real that is how we found her.) She had someone who worked for her who seemed good, and we set up a trial at one of the pod members’ house, crossing our fingers and praying it could work.

We dropped her off at 10:30 a.m. and picked her up at 2 p.m., finding a scene of studious third graders working on a writing exercise in their notebooks. This was followed up by a math and engineering lesson from a recent college grad/older sibling. By all accounts, it was a much-needed success. Of course, we are still ironing out all the details, but hope to start soon. (AKA, ASAP!)

iStock

Dinner, or, My Secret Shame

I think my husband and I are pretty OK parents in many respects. We try to expose our kid to lots of people and experiences, develop her emotional intelligence and independence and let her be who she is (not who we “want” her to be) among other things.

But, guilty confession, we don’t eat dinner together as a family. Occasionally, we have something called “family dinner”, where we do prepare a meal, or order in and eat together “like a normal family,” but generally, my daughter eats her dinner in the early evening, and yes, sometimes, often, she does it watching TV. We’ll often watch together, and bond, chatting about whatever show we pick. I find reality shows like Project Runway are an excellent way to point out and discuss the very best and worst aspects of human behavior, failure and success, focus and determination, etc.

My husband and I eat much later, after our daughter’s evening routine of teeth, pajamas, and reading (we read to her, a ritual left over from when we started the Harry Potter series a while back, and now it’s a nice way to end the day. We’re currently on book one of The Mysterious Benedict Society. Recommend!)

We finally sit down for dinner and a stolen hour of escapism in front of the TV around 10 p.m. Perhaps even more scandalous, we don’t even eat the same thing—I eat a lot of salmon, flounder and DIY Mexican; he does mostly salads, grilled chicken and chili. Occasionally, we order in sushi if we’re feeling fancy. One of us often falls asleep on the couch before our show is done. We ooze into the bedroom, hit the hay and start again in the morning.

Mimi O’Connor

Post script: As I was finishing this, on a day before my daughter was to return to in-person learning, our school—located near an area with an uptick in Covid infections—closed for two weeks. This of course, changes the landscape again.

When I told her the news she was devastated. It was heart-breaking. A school parent hastily-organized a press conference for the next day, and I dragged my daughter along, encouraging her to do something with her anger rather than “eat a spoonful of frosting because she was depressed.” (No lie: that’s what said.)

To say my daughter enjoys being the center of attention is a bit of an understatement. She stepped up to the mics and talked about how much she loved in-person learning, and the precautions the school is taking, and yeah, we’re very proud. (She is a bit more concerned with how many people saw her on TV and the “likes” she may have garnered on a councilman’s Twitter feed, but I’m hoping my praise for speaking her mind and taking action registers in the headiness of her new found “fame.”

—Mimi O’Connor

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My Kids Can’t Stand Being Online, So We’re Doing This Instead

by Meghan Yudes MeyersOctober 8, 2020

Interested in telling your story? Start by filling out our questionnaire here. All stories are anonymous.

I Found the Courage to Ditch Distance Learning & You Can, Too

Name and occupation: Meghan Yudes Meyers, DC Editor at Red Tricycle
City: A DC suburb
Grades my kids are in: Kindergarten
School set-up in 2020: My twins attend a public school in NOVA. Originally, our days were made up of synchronous and asynchronous lessons from 8 a.m. to 3:15 p.m. As a small school, the administration was able to pivot quickly when things were not working for families and staff; now our school schedule condenses synchronous learning times to the morning hours so that students can hop off the computer by lunch time. This is what our routine looks like so far.

photo: iStock

Mornings: We’re Trying to Apply What We’ve Learned so Far.

Shorter days helped. But it didn’t solve our problem. Before COVID-19, my kids had never been on a computer. Ever. They didn’t know how to swipe, scroll, mute or unmute. Once it was announced in July that we would be DL-only for the first quarter of school, we decided to spring for an online tutor, a luxury I realize not everyone has during these trying times. The tutor worked with our kiddos on phonics and sight words with the primary goal of getting them accustomed to working with a teacher virtually. The one-one-one lessons worked well so we weren’t feeling new school year jitters.

Ms. E.’s magnetic personality helped create online connections. Even virtually.

My twins’ teacher, Ms. E. is quite possibly the best kindergarten teacher in the country. Her energetic and enthusiastic lessons made the virtual classroom come alive. My kids quickly picked up on the necessary skills to navigate virtual learning. But the technological issues beyond their control—the frozen screens, broken mics, popping, cracking and crunching sounds and the ear-aching feedback—along with the visual and auditory distractions of random homes being flashed on the screen with a mistaken “unmute” and the occasional outcry of an infant or sibling in the background proved to be a roadblock to an actual education for my kiddos.

photo: Rawpixels

We plugged away for six weeks experimenting with everything from computer accessories to new work spaces. Ms. E. was in the trenches with us the entire time making suggestions and modifications. We bought headphones (Batman for him; Hello Kitty for her) that did help them both focus on the computer. We let the kids choose where they wanted to work: at the outdoor picnic table, the dining room table or the art table. We focused on their surroundings to help foster a better learning environment. But my kids still resisted getting online. And once they were virtually connected, they complained about being exhausted. Constantly. There was little we could do to manipulate the onscreen world to make it less overwhelming.

We traded online lessons for live instruction.

Just days after the new schedule changed in Sept., Ms. E. held a virtual meeting explaining the changes and urging parents to be mindful of their students’ mental well-being. She empowered parents to opt out of a class or lesson if the workload was feeling too much. I knew at once what we had to do and dashed off a message that we were going to take the next day “off” of online learning and jump in to some live lessons. It worked so well that Ms. E. offered to help me create a custom educational plan that made the leap from virtual to live lessons—and met the school’s quarterly requirements.

photo: istock

We try to capture everybody’s best hours.

My husband and I used to be night owls, but the combo of kids, COVID and, frankly, age, has us realizing we get things done faster and more efficiently when we first wake up. He typically rises around 5 a.m. to shower, eat and log on to his computer. I require a few more zzz’s, so I’m up at 6 a.m. to start my work day.

The kids start to rise at 7 a.m. At this point, my husband’s been at the grind for two hours. He takes a break to help the kids start their day. He helps them get dressed and makes them breakfast. If there is time before his first morning Zoom, he starts their morning work out with them. Their school had a genius in-person schedule pre-pandemic that kicked off each day with some outdoor activities (weather permitting). We thought it was pretty brilliant, so we’ve modeled our day to mirror what their little lives will look like once they are back in school so the leap to the real classroom will be less difficult. It also helps to get the morning wiggles out so they can more easily focus on new lessons.

My husband and I are a teaching tag-team.

I emerge from my office between 8-8:30 a..m.; by 8:30 a.m, my husband has to head back to work (a.k.a our bedroom), so he passes the torch to me. If they haven’t had a chance to run, jump and leap yet, we do this first. Getting the wiggles out before we start our school day has been paramount to having a successful day.

With the (virtual) hand-holding of literally the most amazing teacher ever, we’ve taken the awesome hands-on approach their school is famous for and implemented it in our home. We’re trying to soak up all the advantages of being house-bound by spending as much time as possible outdoors. Morning lessons, which run from 9 a.m. to 11-ish, are usually focused around building on our phonics skills (we’re embarking on blended sounds) and working on cvc sight words; we use magnetic letters to build words on our garage door and we chalk our driveway with basic sentences. Some days the kids are eager to jump from one lesson to the next, others they need a break before lunch; on those days they have free play from 11-12 p.m.

photo: Meghan Yudes Meyers

Lunchtime: Tag. My husband’s it (again).

In the perfect world, our at-home routine would mirror their school’s daily on-site schedule perfectly. But this is not a perfect world. This is 2020 and, let’s be honest, there is NOTHING perfect about 2020. So, we don’t break for lunch at 11 a.m. (per their future curriculum). Instead, we try to wait until 12 p.m. when Daddy (a.k.a. the hubs) can jump in.

Professionally, my husband is a numbers guy. But he’s also the Phonics King (a skill I never learned.). So, I lean on him to help drive these lessons home. The kids make words with letter cubes they can stack to build words, they practice sight words with Play-Doh, and complete sentences with pipe cleaners. If there is time, they squeeze in a book or two before eating lunch (thanks to Chef Daddy!). Meanwhile, I’m taking the hour to catch up on work and answer emails. If the day allows, I take a quick drive while blasting old school hip-hop (hey, it centers me).

photo: Meghan Yudes Meyers

Afternoon: It’s time for Specials.

In addition to reading, writing and mathematics (our a.m. focus), we need to keep pace with what is locally known as “Specials.” This is an all-inclusive term for art, music and PE. But I’ve cast a wider net and made our afternoons about anything beyond the “3 Rs.” We try to focus these art projects and science lessons to the hours of 1-3 p.m. To kick off “Specials,” we often jump online for a quick 15 minute video.

My kids have literally the world’s best teacher. We try to “see” her everyday.

Most of the day, we are doing “live” lessons, meaning school activities and projects are 100% offline. But we want our kids to feel connected to their teacher and the school community, so we try to get the kids engaged with at least one pre-recorded video a day. They love seeing their teacher, Ms. E., explain the project of the week (a hands-on lesson that cumulatively engages all the lessons of the week). If we’ve crossed off the class project, we spend time watching a Science lesson with Ms. S. or a music video that explores the week’s theme (recently it was patterns; my daughter was inspired to write her own song with an ABBABB sequence).

The lesson plans and videos provided by the school are meant to spark the imagination. Sometimes they come with a list of materials you may want to have on-hand to get started, but often it’s up the the students to brainstorm ways they can accomplish their assignment utilizing what they have on-hand. My kids can spend hours (literally) working on a new invention for their Science class (most recently, a car with slides for doors which was created using pieces of cardboard, a toddler shopping cart for the base and lots and lots of tape) or painting a picture for their school journal. But if they finish up their Special work, I call it a day. Post-school they are free to play, but these days their free play often reinforces school lessons (they like to play “school” with their stuffed animals going over math facts and new sight words). If things are going smoothly, I can squeeze in important calls between the hours of 3-6 p.m. when they are off having fun.

photo: istock

The Evening: A United Force

My husband takes a dinner break around 6 p.m; we’ve pushed meal time to a later hour so we can eat as a family. Dinners these days involve the path of least resistance. We’ll often support our favorite local restaurants. But in a pinch, we’re a-OK with short cuts like eggs for dinner or PB sandwiches. Healthy meals—at a communal table with family—are our primary goal.

We’re not conventionally schooling over here. So, while a strict 8-3 schedule felt cumbersome, sneaking in lessons all day long does not. Our biggest secret? We save math for last. Sometimes we’ll squeeze some problems into our day (what’s 3X3? Show me your answer in jumping jacks!), but generally we use table time to not only practice math skills, but also explore new ones. We recently leaped into multiplication while playing with a plate full of Rigatoni (hint: large, fat, tubular noodles make GREAT manipulatives). Dessert is also a great time to explore arithmetic (hello LITERAL pie charts). In general, we’ve found playing with food makes for successful math lessons!

photo: Meghan Yudes Meyers

Nighttime: Calling it a Day

On our best days, we try to take a walk as a family. But my COVID-19 pounds suggest we don’t do this often enough. Personally, I like the nights we spend the after-dinner hour belting out 80s and 90s tunes at the tops of our lungs. We rock it out as a family and then it’s time for bed.

My husband tackles the 3 bedtime basics—bath time, brushing and bedtime stories—while I head back to the office. When everyone is dressed and tucked in bed I take a quick break for a good-night snuggle, hit play on their Zenimal and back to the basement—I mean office —I go. My husband retreats to his office once the kids are soundly asleep. We both burn the midnight oil. If we’re lucky, we sneak in a TV show together when we’ve buttoned up our work day.

Virtual learning didn’t work for my kids. But we’re not quite homeschooling. We’re lucky enough to have one of the best teachers in the world and probably one of the most flexible public school administrations in this country make sure that our kids were actually learning and thriving and not punching a time clock.

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—Meghan Yudes Meyers

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Remote Learning Works as a Band-Aid Because We Have No Choice, But For Real—What’s the Plan?

Name and occupation: Shelley Massey, Atlanta Editor at Red Tricycle
My partner’s occupation: attorney
City: Atlanta, GA
Grades my kids are in: son in 6th, daughter in 4th, son in 1st, and daughter in preschool (age 3). They go to 3 different schools, and 3 are in a fully virtual curriculum. Our school district did not present parents with an option to choose.

Our Situation

Our school district announced that they would begin the school year in a fully virtual mode, in addition to pushing the start of school back by two weeks in order to prepare for the virtual environment. We’ve just been updated by the district that they deem the community spread still too high to return, so we are looking at a virtual environment until late October, at the very earliest. We know the district hasn’t given us a “WHEN” answer, but the lack of a “HOW” plan is what really has us rattled. Assuming it’s their goal to return children to the classroom in 2020-21, it would be helpful to hear which grades would return first, how, and with what precautions. Knowing you’re not going back until a threshold of community spread is reached is fine, but it’s the not knowing if there even is a plan—and if so, what that plan looks like—that makes this state of limbo feel a bit like being dropped in the middle of a marathon with no sense of how many miles you’ve already run, nor how many you have left to go.

The start to the school year was a scramble, because with 3 kids at very different computer literacy levels, I’ve spent entire days racing from one room to the other to troubleshoot log-ins, Zoom glitches, and schedules. My oldest son has 6 teachers, so he is constantly logging-in and out of Zoom meetings. My other son is in a Dual-Language Immersion program, so part of his day is experienced in Spanish (which he doesn’t understand), and since he’s 6, he needs a lot of hand-holding just to find the right workbook. Luckily, my oldest daughter only has 1 teacher and is able to navigate her day independently, but my youngest daughter is a toddler who doesn’t understand why she has to be quiet and patient as I help the others (or work, or manage the household). Honestly, she watches way more television than I’m ok with. We’re now in our 4th week of school, so things seem to be working into a bit more or a routine. However, I’ve hired a sitter to sit with my youngest son two mornings a week, just so I can work and take care of household tasks. It’s expensive, and I’m lucky to be able to hire someone. I know that many parents are coping with just as many kids at home with no remote option for their job and not enough disposable income to hire help. I keep telling myself that we’re the lucky ones. But luck in 2020 comes in the form of a four-leaf cactus, not clover, as we’ve all found out.

Pre-Morning

My alarm goes off at 6:15 a.m. and I go for a run. With the rise in crime in Atlanta, I’ve reconsidered my routine, but if I don’t fit in some sort of exercise I’m not my best self for my family. I should probably order some mace. Does Amazon sell that? I’ll have to look into it. The 6-year old comes downstairs as I’m pulling cereal out of the pantry (his class starts at 8 a.m.), and while he eats that, I cook a hot breakfast. My kids will eat a big breakfast, so I try and make the most of it. My 9-year old comes down next (her classes start at 8:30 a.m.), followed by my 11-year old (his class starts at 9 a.m.). While I get the 6 year-old started on his computer—we actually have to set up two, since the Chrome book provided by the school doesn’t have a working camera and I have to use an old laptop just for his Zoom meetings, while he works off the applications in the Chrome book—my 11-year old goes outside and plays basketball. I’m not sure what my 9-year old does. The 3-year old is still in her crib, possibly awake, but I don’t get her until two of the other kids have started classes. I drink a cup of coffee while my youngest eats her breakfast. My husband pops into the kitchen sometime during this production to grab some coffee and a bite to eat, then heads downstairs to his office to work. We don’t see him until around 7 p.m. most days.

Morning

By 9 a.m., my 3 school-aged kids are online, and I have dropped my 3-year old off (if it’s Monday, Tuesday, or Thursday) for the start of her 3 hour day at preschool. If it’s Wednesday or Friday, the 3-year old and I start a load of laundry, then tackle any outdoor projects together. We’re in Atlanta, so afternoons are still in the 90s in early September. If she’s at school, I’ll run a quick errand to the grocery or elsewhere after preschool drop-off. With my husband physically at home most days, I feel comfortable squeezing in a few stops on my way home. He may not be able to help someone hop back on a call if they get bumped from Zoom, as he’s on his own calls most of the day, but he can get them out of the house in case of an emergency.

Our house was built about a hundred years ago, and it has about a hundred stairs. I spend much of the morning trotting up and down stairs, helping various kids, sorting various piles, putting away various toys and clothes and emptying various trash cans. I’ve tried to be more intentional about the time I’m on my phone or checking my email, setting-up my own screen time to align when the fewest number of kids are on break. The two oldest do school in their rooms, while the 6-year old is set up just off the kitchen. He’s working on my great-grandparents’ kitchen table, which is a tiny little thing but has a perfect drawer for his pencils, charger, and math cubes. I work from the kitchen table, while my husband’s office is more of a “cloffice,” or a closet-office in the basement. It’s literally where we would go in case of a tornado. He doesn’t mind it though, but I’d love it if it weren’t off the playroom.

Afternoon

With staggered start times, my kids all break for lunch at different times (and somehow, exactly when I should be picking up my 3-year old on her mornings at preschool), so I try to make lunch around 11:45 and leave it out for them to eat as they trickle into the kitchen. I’ve found that my oldest is pretty cranky by lunchtime, so having food ready for him (he grew 6 inches and gained 30 pounds this year!) when he breaks is clutch. They don’t get a ton of time for lunch, so I’ll try to persuade them to go outside for a bit before getting back on a computer. But sometimes, they’re just tired and I am, too. I know my 6th grader pops onto video games during his breaks, which I don’t love, but my goal is to win the war, not the battle.

The school day wraps for my 6-year old first, around 2:30, and for the older two at 3. Then we’re off to the races. My 11-year old goes to tennis, followed by football on Mondays, golf on Tuesdays, and football on Wednesdays. My daughter goes to tennis on Mondays, cheerleading on Tuesdays and Thursdays, and soccer on Fridays. My 6-year old has a Spanish after-school program on Tuesdays and Thursdays, and soccer on Wednesdays. I debated whether to sign them up for youth sports this season, but figured they really needed some socialization and exercise after a long day on a computer. All activities are outdoors with Covid precautions in place, and I can’t imagine the toll this pandemic would be taking on my kids if they didn’t have some social and physical outlet after all that screen time.

Evening

With scores of activities scattered across town, my ability to get people places is yoked to the strength of carpools I can set up. I drive my “bus” every day, with multiple riders who are not my own, while some of my kids hitch a ride on another mom’s “bus.” I’m grateful for my tribe of friends who help one another make the magic happen. We do everything from haul one another’s children to practices to feed whoever lands at our kitchen table around mealtime. We also read text chains (for the 11-year old crowd) and give each other a heads-up when we see something that needs to be addressed, and reassure each other that we’ve got this whole puberty thing under control. But I digress. My fleet of friends with large cars and I ferry one another’s brood to various rec fields around town, and then crash land at home in time to make dinner and do bedtime.

Dinner is pretty basic these days, and I have a rotation that makes shopping easy, predictable, and fast. Luckily, our teachers haven’t assigned much homework (Is it lucky? Are they learning what they need to learn? These are things you can be grateful for but uncertain about, for sure.), so after dinner, they hit the showers and start the slow roll towards bedtime. We aim for 7:45 for the 3-year old, 8:30 for the 6-year old, and around 9 for the older two. Last night, I was helping my 6th grader with Spanish homework until 10 p.m. My husband is usually up from his office for dinner and bedtime, then we both get back on our computers and crank out work after we get the kids to bed. We haven’t had a date since February. It’s probably time. We still like each other a lot, but this season of life, layered by a pandemic, just doesn’t afford a lot of free time.

Hacks

When the going gets rough, I have a few tricks up my sleeve.

I love to cook. Like, really, an enjoy-trying-new-recipes, putting-out-a-full-spread, changing-things-up kind of love-to-cook. That’s the first thing I jettison. I try to only order out or pick up dinner once a week, if that. The rest of the time, it’s Meatball Monday, Taco Tuesday, Whatever I Can Whip Up Wednesday, Throw Something On the Grill Thursday, etc.
I try to load my car up with golf clubs, tennis rackets, soccer shin guards and cleats, and water bottles the night before, so that we don’t hit the Wall of Panic trying to leave for our afternoon activities. I keep snacks in my car, so transitions to that part of our day are easier.
I do laundry every day, and try to fold it and deliver it to rooms for the kids to put away during bath and shower time.
I despise runs to Costco, so I outsource that every other week to Shipt.
I keep a stash of keep-her-busy activities, like tons of chalk and playdough, on-hand for my preschooler during the times when I’m occupied running tech support with the bigs.

There’s no magic bullet that makes this easier. I’m not going to lie. The only thing that works every time is giving yourself some grace when things hit the fan. Some days, if all you’ve done is kept everyone alive and not done anything that will land the kids on the psychiatrists’ couch sooner than necessary, you’ve done a good job. It would just be so much easier if we knew how our school system planned to get our kids’ educations (not even life in general) back to the classroom.

Interested in telling your story? Start by filling out our questionnaire here. All stories are anonymous.

—story and photos by Shelley Massey

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Distance Learning Works for My 3 Kids & I Can’t Imagine Going Back

by Kate LowethOctober 6, 2020

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I’m Surprised How Well My Family Has Adapted to Distance Learning. Here’s Why We Prefer It.

Name and occupation: Kate Loweth, Bay Area Editor & Content and Calendar Manager at Red Tricycle
My partner’s occupation: attorney
City: Campbell, CA
Grades my kids are in: daughter in 7th, son in 6th and son in 4th. They all go to the same private school.
School set-up in 2020: Our school started everyone with distance learning as our county is still on the COVID watch list. Our family will be doing distance learning at least through the first trimester even if the school is approved for in-person learning. When in-person learning is approved for our school, the middle schoolers would go two days a week, home for three, and the elementary school kids would be there full time. We just felt that having three kids on two different schedules (plus the in-school mask-wearing and COVID precautions) made the distance learning option better for our family.

Well, the 2020-2021 school year is underway without the usual fanfare. I didn’t get my annual excited-mom-dropping-kids-off-on-the-first-day photo this year because there was no drop off. Thanks, COVID. We’re back to distance learning again and I’ve definitely learned a lot from last year. Honestly, distance learning wasn’t that bad for us last school year so I didn’t dread it like many parents do. Yes, I consider myself very lucky in that regard. Our school did a great job pulling everything together quickly and with older kids I don’t have to spend my days teaching and entertaining them while also trying to hold down my full-time job. Yes, again I know I’m lucky that my kids are older and more self-sufficient.

My three kids are in fourth grade (elementary school), sixth and seventh grades (middle school) and this is how our days typically play out (unless we lose power because, California).

Morning: My husband does the morning routine & I’m more than fine with it

Alarm goes off at 6:15 a.m. and I shut it off while my husband gets up to make coffee (yay!) and shower. Most likely our two boys are already up as they’ve always been early risers. My seventh grader is almost 13 and she can sleep until noon if we don’t wake her. Middle son makes himself breakfast (almost always involving Nutella) while the youngest watches a show on his Kindle Fire.

My husband usually makes breakfast for the youngest as we try and get as much protein as possible into him in the morning (to help with focus) or he will make one of these Just Crack an Egg cups for himself. We wake up the oldest around 7:15 a.m. and I usually get up then as well, after checking my email from my bed. Coffee for me, breakfast for my daughter and during this time my husband usually heads off to work after loading the breakfast dishes in the dish washer.

Morning School & Work: Everyone’s in their own room & we stick to our rigid schedules

Kids need to be online at 8 a.m. This school year they have to wear their uniform shirts any time they have a class meeting (they go to a private school). This means we usually have a lovely combo of fleece PJ pants with that red polo shirt but it’s better than constantly asking them to change out of their jammies like last year.

We live in a tiny-ish rental house in the Bay Area and just before COVID hit we swapped the kids’ rooms so that the boys were no longer sharing. I gave up my home office (which was becoming just a dumping ground anyway) and now each kids has his/her own room. This has worked out well for us with everyone doing distance learning as they can be on group class meetings without bothering each other.

We got desks for the kids (this one for the youngest and two hand-me-downs for the other two) and shelves/bins to organize their school gear. The school sent home iPads for each student in grades 2-8 which is great. My daughter uses hers with a Bluetooth keyboard and the boys have old laptops of mine that they prefer (bigger screen). My daughter will be getting a new laptop for her upcoming birthday. The older two use headphones with mics for their meetings. The youngest doesn’t like to wear headphones all the time so he skips them. Over the summer I had my kids learn to type using Type to Learn. While they are anything but proficient, it definitely put them in a better place to start this school year.

The older two are totally on their own for the school day. I only have to provide technical assistance on occasion or help them to find the colored pencils or notebook that they need.

The school day is set up by period. Using Google Classroom they are able to log into their classes throughout the day. The distance learning school day goes until 1:30 p.m. for the middle schoolers with recess and lunch breaks. They all have independent work time until 2:45 p.m. when they meet back up with their classes for check out. They’ve continued all the same classes they would have had in-person including PE and Art. I can always tell when one kid has PE as the jumping jacks shake the house!

Mid-morning: I love seeing my youngest son thrive with distance learning. I feel a huge sense of relief

For my youngest, he needs a little more help and direction throughout the school day. He’s in fourth grade and has some learning differences that make focus a struggle for him. We’ve actually felt that distance learning has worked well for him because he doesn’t have the distractions from other kids like he did in the classroom. He finds that the Google Classroom learning is great as he can set his screen to only show the speaker (usually the teacher) and that way he isn’t bothered by what other kids are doing. When he was doing in-person learning, he had a hard time with other kids intruding on his space. He also felt a lot of pressure to get his work completed quickly when others were done. Because his brain works differently, it often takes him longer to get to the answer and he felt a lot of pressure when in the classroom. At home he can work at his own pace.

The distance learning schedule has him in classes until lunchtime but usually it’s just a short class meeting (15 minutes or so) where the teacher teaches the lesson and then the class (about 20 kids) has time to work on an assignment on their own before the class meets up again. I have his weekly class schedule posted in my office (a.k.a. my bedroom) as well as his bedroom so that I can keep him on track throughout the day. For the elementary school kids, the distance learning schedule is set up with 30-minute blocks for each class, and two 15-minute recess breaks. They are done for the day at 12:15 p.m. and then meet back up again at 2:45 p.m. to correct the work they’ve done during the interim independent work time. He’s mostly able to do the work on his own, but he does like to come into my “office” to work alongside me sometime (as pictured above).

One thing that has helped us tremendously is that he has a FitBit that we charge every night. He uses this to keep on schedule. When he’s excused from a class he will set the FitBit to alert him just before he has to be back online. It has totally helped us and I am not constantly screaming at him to get back online.

Mid-morning: I lock myself in my bedroom (aka the office) to try and work

While the kids are in school, I’m working from home. We had to bump up our internet service when COVID kicked into gear (at an extra $40/month) because it just couldn’t handle three kids plus me home all day on google meets and Zoom meetings. I have always worked from home full time which definitely meant something different six months ago (hello, new office mates)!

Before distance learning began, I was pretty much working from different spots in the house like the kitchen, TV room and my bed (ugh, it’s true). But when the kids came home I really needed to be in a room with a door. With a small house the only option was our bedroom. Even though it’s only about 12 x 12, I swapped out my husband’s nightstand for this desk (that I love) and that’s where I work. I think this helps my kids to see that I am actually working (and not just watching reality TV on my phone) since it’s more of an official work space.

I keep my door closed (“close the door!” is shouted at least a dozen times a day when people come in to ask a question. Can someone please invent a button I can push to close the door from across the room? I would love you forever). We have a HEPA air filter running outside the door that provides a nice white noise and also helps with the poor air quality we’ve been having due to nearby wildfires. If I’m in a meeting and don’t want to be disturbed, I’ll put an “IN A MEETING” post-it on my door and lock the door. Locking the door is KEY because apparently my kids cannot read.

For the most part this arrangement works for me. I do have quite a few video meetings throughout the day (why, why do they have to be on video??) but since my job is in the parenting sphere and almost everyone I work with is a mom with kids at home, they get it if kids come in during a meeting. If there’s something that I really need to focus on, I usually tackle it when the school day is over as I’m more likely to have fewer interruptions then.

Afternoon: It’s independent work time for all of us

Lunch is usually DIY unless I have a frozen pizza or mini tacos that I can throw in the oven. My middle son can eat the microwavable mac n’ cheese cups every day of the week but I do require a fruit (it’s almost always a banana). The other two kids prefer more of a charcuterie-style lunch with salami, almonds, Wheat Thins and strawberries taking center stage. They all have lunch around the same time but the middle schoolers have to go back to class after lunch as they have a longer school day.

The afternoon is independent work time for all the kids (starting at 1:00 p.m. for elementary schooler and 1:30 p.m. for the middle schoolers) and then the classes reconvene at 2:45 p.m. to check the day’s work and sign off for the day. Usually my youngest still has some work to do after the official school day ends so I either carve out some time during my work day to sit with him and help, or I save it for when my husband comes home from work and he does it.

If my work schedule allows, we try and get out for a late afternoon hike. Luckily where we live is super close to lots of options for getting close to nature.

The Evening Hours: We’re now a family that eats at 5:30 p.m. and I’m okay with that

TBH, everyone’s kind of on their own in the evening. I’m not great about restricting devices after the school day so often you’ll see one of the kids out in the backyard hanging out on my favorite pandemic purchase, the backyard hammock. I eat dinner with my kids at the early bird hour of 5:30 p.m. (the natives get hungry so I’ve given in to this early dinner time). My husband is home by 6:30 p.m. and eats on his own. If the kids are up to it, sometimes there’s a bike ride around the neighborhood.

I’m able to look at all my kids’ work online to make sure they’ve turned everything in for the week. I am pretty hands-off with the middle schoolers but I do like to check in to make sure they aren’t having any issues. They turn in assigned work to the teachers by uploading photos of the work to Google Classroom or by using shared docs and sometimes there are tech issues when submitting docs.

Not every day is sunshine and roses: Here’s what’s made it all easier

I’ve definitely turned to outsourcing grocery shopping a lot more during this time at home. While I used to go to the grocery store almost every day to pick up this or that on my way to school pickup, I’ve gotten a lot more organized about groceries. I’ve been ordering fruits and veggies from Daylight Foods, a local restaurant and school food delivery service that pivoted to offer home deliveries when their other business dried up. I hope this service never goes away because their produce is the best. I’ve also been using Amazon Fresh a lot more lately since same-day delivery is always available.

When the week looks like it’s going to be a little more crazy than usual, I’ll order some meals from Good Eggs or Sun Basket.

While distance learning does have some additional challenges, we’ve been able to make it work for our family for the most part. We are all just doing our best to cope with the situation as it is!

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—story and photos by Kate Loweth

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My Son Is in a Learning Pod with His Cousins, but There’s a Catch

by Shannan RoussSeptember 27, 2020

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It Takes a Village: What It’s Really Like to Do a Learning Pod (with My Parents as the Teachers)

Name and occupation: Shannan Rouss, Los Angeles editor at Red Tricycle
My partner’s occupation: TV producer and director
City: Los Angeles
Age of kid(s): 4-year-old son
School set-up in 2020: Although my son’s preschool reopened with numerous safety guidelines in place, my husband and I opted not to send him for now. We knew that every sniffle, every rash or stomachache or cough would be a cause for concern. And we also knew that sending him would mean we could no longer safely be in a “bubble” with my family. We would be giving up the the in-person, regular and constant support of my parents and my siblings and their families (all of whom live nearby) for my son to attend school.

So instead he’s attending “Mimi’s School,” a mini learning pod run by mother, a former preschool teacher and award-winning children’s author with years of experience, and my dad, grandpa extraordinaire and now, also, P.E. teacher/creator of DIY obstacle courses (see below).

There are two other students at Mimi’s School—my nieces, ages 4 and 6. The three kids are together four days a week, from 9 a.m. to 2:30 p.m. It provides some semblance of normalcy for them, and gives me just enough time to get my work done.

But here’s the catch: My parents live about an hour from LA (longer if there’s traffic) in Oxnard, which means I’ve got quite the commute. To avoid daily back-and-forth trips, my son and I drive out to my parents on Monday mornings, sleep over, then drive back home Tuesdays after school. Wednesdays are off, and then it’s back to school on Thursdays, sleep over, and drive home on Fridays. It’s a lot, but I know I’m lucky to have my family close enough to even provide this option for us.

The morning commute: I give us a good hour to get ready (eat breakfast, brush teeth, put on shoes, say good bye to Daddy), and it’s still a mad dash to make it out of the house on time. Because we’re trying to make the experience as much like regular school as possible, my son has a new backpack and brings his own lunch each day. That means in addition to packing lunch (plus our overnight bags), I also have to bring enough food to cover lunch for the following day.

We usually get into the car closer to 8:30 than 8, which means we’ll arrive a little late for school (but luckily the teachers are forgiving). During the hour drive, I mentally run through a litany of things I’ve forgotten: my son’s iPad, his sweatshirt, his big blankie, his sleeping bag.

Sometimes the commute is peaceful. Sometimes I have to be a robot or an alien (or an alien-robot) the whole way. My son likes this game. I speak like a robot and he explains things on earth to me. He points out the telephone wires, and asks me if we have cars on my planet.

And then there are the mornings when he asks “Are we there yet?” before we’ve even gotten on the freeway. “How about now?” he continues. “How much longer?” On these mornings, the drive can feel interminable for both of us.

The drop-off: When we finally arrive, we enter Mimi’s School quietly because my older niece, a first grader, has already started her Zoom lesson. (She’ll join the younger ones when her distance learning is done.) My son makes his way to the guest room-turned-classroom for free play. Thanks to her years of teaching plus the three grandkids that preceded these younger ones, my mom has a surplus of toys, books and games in her home. While the kids are preoccupied, either my mom or dad usually tries to shoo me out of the house, but I insist on saying a proper good bye to my son. (Yes, I’m that parent.)

His school day/my work day: Because I can’t work at my parent’s house (my son would never leave me alone), and I can’t go to a cafe and plug-in (because, Covid), I drive to my brother and sister-in-law’s home in nearby Ventura. Here, my office is one end of a very long dining room table.

Meanwhile, at my parent’s house, my mom calls on her years of teaching experience to give her grandkids a a close approximation of preschool. They have morning circle with all that entails: singing songs, reviewing the the days of the week and the weather, reading a book, meeting a puppet named Shofar (they’re currently learning about the Jewish holiday of Rosh Hashanah).

In the kitchen, they do cooking projects, making their own challah on Fridays, or banana bread on other days. And in the semi-finished garage, they do arts and crafts and other larger projects, like building a city out of assorted cardboard boxes or creating a “robot” from recycled materials.

Overcoming obstacles, literally: Grandpa has put himself in charge of P.E. What began as simple four square in the alley has evolved into full-on American Ninja Warrior-style obstacle courses, all made using items sourced from the garage. There’s a 2×4 balance beam, a folding stepladder, tunnels made from oversized boxes and more. Is it any wonder my son’s worn out by the end of his school day?

Rest and relaxation: My mom tells me that with younger kids, all the learning happens in the first part of the day. After lunch, little ones need rest and play. TV’s okay at this point too, but only PBS Kids (because it’s mostly educational), according to my parents and I can hardly argue with that.

All three kids get picked up at 2:30 p.m. Some days when I arrive, my son’s curled on the couch and watching Dinosaur Train. Some days, he’s too engaged with his cousins to even notice I’m there. His older cousin is teaching him to “read” using her sight words books. He proudly “reads” me the one he has memorized and my heart swells because he’s so pleased with himself.

Mom duty begins: If it’s a Tuesday or Friday, my parents gently hurry us out, so that they can enjoy their own rest and relaxation. On days when we sleepover, I try to give them space—spending time with my son in the playroom or heading out with him for a walk—giving my parents a much-deserved break. While Mimi’s school was my mom and dad’s idea, I still worry about overburdening them, or them simply burning out.

But I probably don’t need to. Because when my little guy has a meltdown over his iPad not working and there’s nothing I can do to soothe him, it’s Mimi who brings out a puppet and is able to stop his tears. No matter what, my parents never stop being grandparents; they wouldn’t want to. Or maybe they can’t help it. Taking care of their family seems hardwired into them. At the end of a long day, my mom still makes dinner in the evening and insists on cleaning up afterward, while I go upstairs to bathe my son and put him to bed.

A very early bedtime: Although my son and I share a room, I’ve convinced him to at least sleep on the air mattress and not in the bed with me, which is just too much of a slippery slope (as in, then he’ll want to sleep in bed with Mommy every night). I usually lie down in the room with him to keep him company until he falls asleep, which means that plenty of nights, I end up falling asleep too—even if it’s shy of 8p.m. I text my husband to say good night, just in case this happens, and let him know we’ll talk in the morning.

I’m not sure how long we can keep up this routine. I’m immensely grateful to my parents, but still, I’m not sure Mimi’s School is the best thing for our family, long term. My husband and I have talked about maybe renting a place closer to my parents. But the commute is only one drawback of our current situation. It feels selfish to admit, but I miss the comfort of my routine, of being able to get stuff done around the house while my son’s at school, and then putting him to bed in his own room, so I can plop down on the couch next to my husband.

More important than that though is what my son misses. Because as much as he loves his grandparents and his cousins, he still reminisces about what he calls “real school” and the friends he’d made there. Right after he started Mimi’s School, he tearfully told me he’s going to be so old by the time the germs are gone and he can return to his “real school.” He doesn’t know that his “real school” is open now. I don’t think he’d understand why we’re not sending him. We’re still signed up. Still paying to hold our spot. Just in case we ever get to a place where the risks of sending him no longer outweigh the drawbacks of not sending him.

–Shannan Rouss

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Distance Learning Works for My 3 Kids & I Can’t Imagine Going Back

Distance Learning Works for My Family & I Like the Upsides

by Allison SutcliffeSeptember 24, 2020

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I’m Surprised by the Unexpected Benefits of Distance Learning. Here’s Why It’s Working for My Kids.

Name and occupation: Allison Sutcliffe, Seattle Editor at Red Tricycle
My partner’s occupation: sales
City: Gig Harbor, WA
Grades my kids are in: son in 7th and my daughter is in 4th. I’ve also got a two-year-old.
School set-up in 2020: In June our district had plans to start the school year in-person, but our county COVID numbers were on the rise in August, so they had to change course. My two oldest started with full-time distance learning after Labor Day. There’s a plan to bring kids back using a staggered approach, and to be honest I’m not sure what my family will do when it’s our turn to return. Guess we will cross that bridge when we get there, as we’ve been doing with all things coronavirus so far.

Like most things in 2020, our school year started off differently than it usually does. We didn’t make our annual first-day pilgrimage for donuts with our neighborhood friends, and I genuinely missed the bus stop fanfare and parent gab sesh that marks the day the kids finally go back to school. But we’re doing the distance learning thing, for better or for worse, and I took what I learned last year to be better prepared this year. So far it seems to be working. My two oldest are in fourth grade (elementary school) and seventh grade (middle school), and I’ve still got a toddler at home. This is what our typical (if there is such a thing) school day looks like, pandemic, wildfires and all.

Morning: My husband and I run zone defense to get everybody fed and ready

We’re not big into alarms at our house because toddler. Like clockwork she crows “mama” around 7 a.m. each morning and that’s our call to start the day. My husband’s not a morning person and I’ve learned to be one, so he usually stays in bed with the baby while I get up and check my email before waking the big kids.

Since my elementary-aged kiddo and my middle schooler are on different schedules, I run two breakfast shifts (TBH this is a total distance learning bonus). I rouse my son 30 minutes before class starts so he has enough time to down a plate of scrambled eggs and strawberries (that’s what he’s into these days), get dressed and brush all the things before logging on to his first class at 8:15 a.m. Once he’s successfully Zooming, I move my fourth grade daughter through the morning paces so she’s ready to log on and start school by 9 a.m. While all of this is going on, my husband and the baby are getting breakfasted and dressed just in time for him to head to work around 9 a.m., but not before I’ve had a shower. There’s no denying his flexible work schedule makes everything easier.

By 9 a.m. both kids are in class, so I head out to get my morning coffee with baby in tow. I do it everyday. I’m nothing without my latté and a bit of downtime to listen to a podcast (shout out to all the Murderinos) before the day’s juggling act begins.

Morning School: Each kid has their own space & it helps them focus on learning

Here’s where the lessons we learned from last spring’s emergency schooling come in to play. At that time, I had the kids working side-by-side at the dining room table, while the baby played nearby in the living room. I kept my laptop on in the dining room, trying to get work done, while bouncing between the three kids. (What was I thinking, I know.) I knew we needed a change for the 2020 school year.

Now, the oldest two work at desks in their rooms, and we made a big deal about getting them set up for success before school started. Although the school district provided Chromebooks to all students in the district (kindergarteners got iPads), we bought new computers, powerful enough to handle simultaneous Zooms, for each kid. A new WiFi range extender was part of our strategy too, and so far both kids (and mom) can be online without getting kicked off or dealing with seriously laggy load times that were a problem last spring. The final piece of the being-prepared puzzle was getting each kid a gaming headset. They were stoked and I was fine with it because wearing them lets the kids hear better and blocks out noise from the house (What can I say? Toddlers are totally noisy.).

Since the kids are at two different schools, we’re on two different schedules, but both use Schoology to access their materials and classes, and I’m thankful for that. My middle schooler is pretty independent, and can generally get where he needs to go (virtually) without prompting. He has three periods each day in addition to pack (think: homeroom), lunch and study time. In between classes he’s usually in a Google Hangout with his friends (I think I’m okay with that) or working on the assignments that are due the next day.

My fourth grader needs reminders as she toggles between live Zooms and independent work multiple times a day. Her daily schedule is on the white board above her desk, but I peek in often to make sure she’s where she needs to be. Our district is flexible with attendance and that helps. So even if one of my two misses a Zoom, they can still complete the classwork and be counted as “present” for the day.

Wednesdays are the anomaly, and the day we all look forward to. Normally a late start day for my kids, the district now has it set aside for independent work and one-on-one time with teachers. What this translates to is no Zoom time for my middle schooler and a brief morning meeting at 10:25 a.m. for my middle. The day is ours to do with as we please, and I have big plans for hikes, museum visits and general around-the-town adventuring as the year goes on. So far, the wildfires are slowing down our plans.

Morning: I Pl-ork (that’s WFHM-speak for “play + work”)

I spend most of the morning hanging with the two-year-old reading books, building marble runs and keeping her out of the kids’ rooms while they’re in class (she’s notorious for Zoom bombing in our family). Normally, she and I would spend mornings at story time or tumbling class, but even if there were classes, the two of us are tethered to the house because of the big kids. Theoretically this is also when I keep up with the laundry, dishes and general house cleaning, but I’d be lying if I said I was consistent with these tasks.

Morning is also when I try to get some work done. I’m lucky to have a part-time job that was work-from-home before it became the mandated norm. I’m also lucky that a lot of my work can be done in short bursts and from my phone. Since I work for Red Tricycle and most of my colleagues are parents, folks aren’t surprised (or bothered) when they hear my toddler being a toddler in the background. So while my two-year-old jumps on her trampoline (we’ve been spending a lot of time doing outdoor activities inside because of the wildfires), I return emails or make quick calls that need to happen during business hours. I definitely take advantage of the big kids, who briefly reappear downstairs during recess, passing period or work time, asking them to hang with the baby if I need to write a longer email or make a quiet call in the office. Although this work style may seem chaotic, I prefer to think of it as organic.

Mid-Morning: My shy daughter is thriving & I have distance learning to thank

My fourth grader spends the better part of each morning live Zooming with her class in 45-minute blocks with breaks in between. The afternoon is self-managed (that means I’m on duty), until the end-of-day check-in around 3 p.m. I was skeptical about this format early on (it seemed like a lot of screen time), but now that I’ve watched it in action, I feel reassured. It’s surprising, but it’s helped my daughter, who’s usually shy, stand out and be heard. The extra time she has to process and reflect on her learning is making a big difference. She feels more confident in class and enthusiastically interacts with her classmates, in a way that’s different than it is IRL. Distance learning also means more personal attention from her teachers. The thought and attention she puts into her schoolwork is getting noticed in a different way.

While I’ve seen distance learning benefit my oldest daughter the most, it’s definitely giving my son the independence he’s been craving for a while now. It’s his chance to prove that he’s responsible and can make it through the day without mom there to guide him. Only time will tell, but for now, I’m (reluctantly) letting go, breathing deep and reminding myself that college will be here before I know it, and then he’ll truly be independent (ready or not).

Afternoon: It’s quiet work time for the big kids & naptime for baby

Both kids break at noon, so we regroup at the kitchen island for lunch. My youngest daughter happily joins us from one of my favorite pandemic purchases, her perch on the Learning Tower. She’s always glad to be reunited with her sibs. My son is a peanut butter purist so his lunch is easy, albeit a bit boring. The girls usually have something quick and simple like quesadillas or hummus with a piece of fruit and a veg, and always a pouch of applesauce for the baby.

Soon after lunch the baby naps, so I have just enough time to check in with my fourth grader and get her moving in the right direction. Once the kids are settled in, I head to the office to work for about 90 minutes. I’d be lying if I said I didn’t have interruptions, but for the most part, the kids stay busy working on assignments (and in the case of my seventh grader, practicing his saxophone in the garage) in their rooms until their end of day check-in (2:30 p.m. for middle school and 3 p.m. for grade school). Depending on how long the baby naps, I sit down with the big kids to read (another big perk). We’re working through the Fun Jungle series.

In a perfect world, the kids play outside ‘70s-style when the day is over, riding bikes around the neighborhood or challenging each other to a game of H-O-R-S-E in the driveway, but the wildfires have made that nearly impossible these first two weeks.

Evening: Dad takes over & that works for me

My husband gets home from work anytime between 4:30 and 6 p.m. and no matter where we are in the day, we make the kid hand-off. I take another quick hour in the office to work without interruption—and thanks to my husband’s child wrangling prowess, it’s usually pretty quiet.

We’ve never been a family that sits down together for dinner, so the kids are used to eating a “light meal” before dad gets home, with the choice of eating later if they’re still hungry. My husband’s all about the sous vide (he swears by this container too). He starts it remotely (with an app) and I throw the meat in when the timer goes off so it’s ready-ish for him to finish when he gets home. There are just as many days where we don’t have a coordinated plan so we throw together a quick salad plus protein.

While he runs the bath and bedtime routine (at least for the younger two), I log on to the kids’ Schoology accounts to see what (and how) they did for the day. While I try to be as hands-off as possible, I like being dialed in to their daily routine (a big distance learning plus). There have been some glitches submitting assignments or uploading videos, but they’re easily fixed.

Distance learning is what it is: Here’s what I’m focusing on

Like so many things associated with this pandemic, it’s the way you approach it that makes the difference. Distance learning definitely isn’t ideal (my kids miss their friends and I miss my space), but we’re finding silver linings every day.

Interested in telling your story? Start by filling out our questionnaire here. All stories are anonymous.

—story and photos by Allison Sutcliffe

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by Maria ChambersSeptember 24, 2020

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I Have to Say, I’m Not Minding the Remote-Learning Setup for My Family

Name and occupation: Maria Chambers, Editor for Red Tricycle Chicago and Co-Owner of Washington Street Markets
My partner’s occupation: Co-parenting with my ex-husband who is a business consultant
City: Naperville, IL (a western suburb of Chicago)
Grades my kids are in: Sons are in 11th and 9th, a daughter in 8th and a son who graduated college in 2019
School set-up in 2020: Our school resumed on Sep. 1 with a remote learning setup for a minimum of 12 weeks, at which point it will be reevaluated. Once it is deemed safe for in-person learning to resume, they will be on a hybrid schedule. Kids are broken into two groups by alphabet. Kids with names that start with A-L will go on Tues. and Thurs., and every other Mon. Kids with names starting with M-Z will go Wed. and Fri., and every other Mon. When kids do return, they will need to wear masks and strict guidelines are in place for the number of kids who can be in any given location at a time.

photo: credit Alicia’s Photography

This first day of school in 2020 definitely felt a bit anti-climactic, without the frenzy of transitioning from summer to school mode, taking pictures the kids don’t want taken and the silence of an empty house once they would normally go on their way, hauling overstuffed backpacks hunched over like mules.

Funny enough, the stress over first-day outfit choices was still in the mix. Well, at least for my daughter. The boys, not so much. Thankfully the eyeglasses she ordered last-minute, that she doesn’t actually need for seeing, arrived a day early so she was able to dial into her first Zoom call spectacled and stylish. I like to tease about her desperate wish to wear glasses and frustration that her vision is perfect, but I do agree the blue light glasses weren’t a bad purchase with how much screen time she’ll have this year. See the ones she ordered here, if you’re interested for your kids (or you!).

Morning: My Kids Are Pretty Self-Sufficient, and I’m Not Mad About It

Let me just preface this by saying, I know how lucky I am to have older kids in these weird days of schooling during COVID. I have mad respect for moms and dads who have elementary-aged kids and younger or kids of any age who have special learning needs or haven’t acclimated to this new setup. Those of us on cruise control look at what you’re doing and give major applause. For real.

My boys have to be logged on to their first-period Zoom call at 7:45 a.m. and my daughter logs on at 8 a.m. When my alarm goes off at 6:30 a.m., I wake all three so they can ease into their day. This may seem like ample time to get ready, but my 9th-grade son has one speed and it’s turtle. He’s developed a specific morning ritual which he needs to go through in a certain order that involves YouTubing while showering, cuddle time with our menagerie of pets and slow-as-molasses breakfast-eating. He feels this sets him up for a successful, stress-free day and I don’t even try to question or mess with it.

As soon as I wake on Mondays, I hit up our local bakery, D’Etta’s, for an Almond Braid or their massive Cinnamon Rolls that can feed a whole family. The Almond Braid lasts for days and it’s a hit with everyone. My daughter likes to keep Costco acai bowls (from the freezer section) onhand and I purchase their breakfast burritos from the refrigerated section for an alternative if the kids are feeling savory over sweet. Also, if you haven’t tried Costco’s Cinnamon Bread from their bakery section, you don’t even know what you’re missing. So good!

This summer, each of my kids got to pick a YETI and find their own bling on RedBubble. I don’t know why, but this made them extremely happy, they are obsessed. Another thing I don’t question. These get filled, by them, every morning and they stay cold and iced all day, into the evening. I’m convinced they’re made of a mix of magic and voodoo.

While my kids get ready, I do a quick check of my work email and then head for a walk that always involves an order-ahead coffee from Sparrow (Oat Milk Vanilla Latte, in case you’re ever looking to get me something special) and usually a pitstop to sit quietly with nature along Naperville’s riverwalk.

Morning School and Work: Personal Space Is a Happy Thing

Each of my kids has their own room with a workspace and I work from the dining room table. Up until this past January, my 11th-grade and 9th-grade boys were still sharing a room. I did a quick rough finish of my basement and moved my 24-year-old’s room down there (because who doesn’t love a classic cliche) and moved my 9th grader into his old space. This was a pre-COVID decision that ended up being a home run for what happened just a few months later.

A few years ago, our school district went to a 1:1 technology model and issued all kids 2nd grade and above Chrome books (K-1 received iPads). This decision made rolling out remote learning much easier and ensured equitability. All three of my kids have district-issued laptops and receive IT support, as well.

The kids are on Zoom calls with their teacher the first half of every class for synchronous learning and are asynchronous the second half. This gives them time to work independently on any assignments or participate in breakout groups with classmates.

Mid-Morning Routine: Lots of Snacking Happening

With me working from the dining room table, I see lots of mid-morning trips to the refrigerator happening. Every Monday I make a trip to Costco to stock up on fruit, so strawberries, blueberries, bananas, apples and nectarines are readily available at all times as a healthy option. Sometimes they pick that option and sometimes they are looking for something salty. On my Costco trip, I get a box of mixed, snack-sized chips and they each can grab one of those at some point in the day. I also keep pretzels, nuts and healthy-ish granola bars stocked.

Lunch: Being Prepared Is Key

The kids all have slightly different lunchtimes, so a group lunch isn’t really an option. In order to keep my workday from being interrupted too much, I keep the refrigerator/freezer stocked with easy-prep options they can do on their own like sandwich-making materials and one-step meals. For my 11th grader, I keep mozzarella balls, basil and cherry tomatoes and he whips together a Caprese Salad or his favorite is micro Frontera Chicken Fajita Bowls from the freezer section of Costco (I swear Costco isn’t paying me). My daughter and 9th grade son love chicken mini tacos, also from Costco’s freezer section, and eat those pretty much every day.

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A post shared by Farmer’s Fridge (@farmersfridge) on Apr 22, 2020 at 2:56pm PDT

There are several options for meal delivery that include prepared lunches for kids in Chicago, if you find yourself struggling to get creative, keep things stocked or just want to outsource that chore give one of those a try!

My kids are lucky they live in a neighborhood where their school friends are close by. We have a large open grassy area across the street from our house, so my daughter will schedule lunchtime meetups with friends for picnics. This is a nice way for her to break up the day and an excellent way to keep in-person socialization a part of her day, which is extremely important to her.

Afternoon: So Close to the Finish Line

Our afternoons are pretty easy-breezy. Once lunch happens, each of my kids only has two classes remaining. For my 11th grader, this means gym class, which has become my absolute favorite time of day. He begrudgingly ends up in the front yard doing some insane looking task that he needs one of us to film. And, we all get a good laugh (and so do neighbors and cars randomly driving by the house).

Right now, my only kid who’s doing an organized sport is my 9th grader. His high school has Cross Country, so he either rides his bike or I drive him to his 3:30-5:30 p.m. practice. He arrives with a mask on, gets his temperature checked upon arrival and they break the kids down into small groups.

My daughter typically does every sport she possibly can, but her middle school has postponed these activities and we opted out of travel soccer this year with the uncertainty. It seemed like a lot of money to pay, not knowing what the format would look like.

My 11th grader would usually do Cross Country, but he’s personally restricting his activity and staying home as much as possible.

Evening: Extremely Low-Key and Unstructured

We don’t really have a set routine for the evening hours. I let the kids kinda do their thing and unwind. I’ve noticed with the kids still getting used to the school schedule, this a lot of times means a nap for the 8th and 11th grader, while the 9th grader is at Cross Country.

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A post shared by HelloFresh US (@hellofresh) on Sep 14, 2020 at 10:05am PDT

I’ve been getting weekly HelloFresh deliveries for the last two years and kept this up through quarantine. This helps remove a to-do from my list and limits the amount of shopping I need to do throughout the week. I’m a huge fan of their service. I don’t eat meat and their veggie meals have introduced me to some new recipes I would’ve never thought to try. I have had a bit of trouble with their service during COVID, with them getting a lot of my meals wrong, including sending meat meals, and meals or ingredients completely missing from my box. I called to inquire because I often recommend them to our readers. Their customer service explained they weren’t prepared for the uptick in subscriptions that COVID brought and on top of that, they’ve had trouble hiring additional support since some people are afraid to return. I’m going to stick it out with them because I understand this is a hard time for a lot of companies and they’re doing their best. I appreciate that they are responsive, accept responsibility for the mistakes and work hard to explain and rectify any issues.

photo: credit Alicia’s Photography

How My Routine Is Different Being Divorced

Pre-COVID, my ex-husband would travel weekly, so our schedule with the kids fluctuated a lot during the weekdays. He hasn’t traveled since mid-March, so we’ve been able to stick to a Monday-Monday routine. Every Monday, the kids switch houses. They prefer to stay in one house as long as possible vs. moving things back and forth frequently. We also live down the street from each other and often pop into each other’s houses for a visit. The kids come in and out of both houses regularly, so I at least get to see their faces most days.

Long before COVID, we created a family text chain that includes my ex-husband, his partner, our four kids and me. Anytime we communicate, it goes through the family chat. That way, nothing ever falls through the cracks with communication. We’re all up to speed with anything that’s going on, regardless of which house they’re at or who’s involved directly. When my oldest was away at college, this was also a great way for him to stay connected to the family and not feel like he was missing out on anything.

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A post shared by maria chambers (@m.a.chambers) on Sep 5, 2020 at 11:41am PDT

The Always-Present Silver Lining

My three youngest kids are very close in age: 16, 14 and 13. My 16-year-old had just turned three when my 13-year-old was born, so I had three that were 3 and under. This meant I spent many years in the trenches, in total chaos, but they were extremely close and inseparable. They also spent many years in elementary school together. Which is maybe something I didn’t know to appreciate until it was gone—the comfort that comes from having them all in the same place. Knowing they saw each other throughout the day and they had that silent support and bond close by. There’s a confidence that comes from that.

Having the kids home and adjusting to the new schedules and interruptions hasn’t been easy. But, I really thoroughly enjoy seeing the impromptu interactions throughout the day that absolutely would not be happening if they were in-person learning. They are needing to lean on each other again in ways they haven’t had to do in years. Recording gym sessions for each other to submit to teachers, asking clarifying questions about new procedures and just poking their heads into each other’s “classrooms” because they want human interaction. Above all, I am grateful for this extra time with them and this opportunity they have to bond.

— Maria Chambers

Three Moms Share Their Must-Have Back-to-School Snack

My Kids Are Social Butterflies & Distance Learning Is a Struggle

by Beth SheaSeptember 23, 2020

Interested in telling your story? Start by filling out our questionnaire here. All stories are anonymous.

Distance Learning Is Not My Family’s Ideal Choice. Here’s How We’re Making It Work.

Name and occupation: Beth Shea, San Diego Editor at Red Tricycle
My partner’s occupation: Sales Manager
City: San Diego, CA
Grades my kids are in: daughter in 8th, son in 4th. They go to the same public school.
School set-up in 2020: Our school district is currently only offering distance learning. When they get the green light to go back to school in-person, the students will be split into attending morning or afternoon sessions to lessen the amount of kids on campus at one time. Many precautions and safety protocols will be in place and my kids will go back to school as soon as they’re allowed to.

The concept of ending summer to head “back to school” was an even harder sell for my kids this year since none of the excitement of seeing classmates and teachers and returning to campus was on the table. Our school district even gave our kids several extra weeks of summer in an effort to drop off the state’s Covid-19 watch list and return to in-person learning. We did in fact drop off the list, but then got word that school would still only be offered virtually for the time being. The yo-yoing and excitement over the prospect of going back and the disappointment of realizing this year there was no “back” in “back to school” has made this an emotionally and mentally draining time for our whole family.

My kids are ready to step out from behind the screens and go back to school. They are both social butterflies and extroverts and they enjoy absolutely nothing about being isolated behind a screen for hours on end every day. They learn better when lessons are taught in person and they thrive in settings where they can interact with their peers. Seeing them at home all this time is akin to watching beautiful birds who have had their wings clipped.

I’m trying to use this distance learning experience to teach my kids some vital life skills: grit, resilience, and how to adapt to change. Thus far, we have been dealing with a pretty steep learning curve of failed log-ins, links that don’t connect and online portals we can’t access… but we’re all trying to keep our cool and our sanity and have a lot of grace for each other and the teachers on the other end trying to orchestrate all of these moving parts.

Morning Routine: Up Early to Prepare for the Day

Luckily we’re all early risers, so we wake up ready to greet the new day and sit around the table for breakfast. My kids start school at 8:50 a.m. so it allows for a nice, leisurely start to the day. I also use this early morning time to make sure my kids’ laptops are charged, that the learning supplies they need are close at hand, and that they can log-on to all of their various applications. We save our passwords and bookmark important pages so all they need to do is click and go.

One issue we had to correct was that our Wifi signal wasn’t reaching far enough to provide a strong enough signal. My daughter’s Zoom calls kept freezing or dropping, which led to panic. We purchased this WiFi booster, programmed it, and now it “boosts” the WiFi signal so it reaches her room and enables a strong signal.

After breakfast we all go to our own corners of the house to log-on for school and work. I fill each of us a large bottle of water in our respective reusable water bottles, and I pop a packet of Ultima Replenisher Electrolyte Hydration Powder in each bottle. San Diego’s hottest temperatures are during the fall months, so I like to make sure we’re all staying hydrated––especially since dehydration leads to fatigue and immune stress. (Hydration is important during winter too!) These handy packets come in a variety of flavors from lemonade to raspberry and they really make it easy to get our necessary water intake alongside 6 electrolytes and trace minerals.

Both of my kids start their day with an hour and a half long Zoom session of STEM learning, followed by a mid-morning snack break. They like the option of staying connected on their Zoom call during snack break to chat and eat alongside their classmates. After snack they log on to their next major chunk of learning for the day, their hour and a half long session of Humanities. Next comes independent work, reading time and PE or music lessons (my son is learning to play the recorder).

Mid-Morning to Lunchtime: We All Head to Our Separate Workspaces, Kind Of

I spent the summer preparing for the inevitable eventuality of distance learning by making sure my kids had functional, comfortable workspaces tailored to their liking. They set up their own desk decor and even have some fidget toys on hand to get them through long Zoom calls: we like these stress balls. I’m currently on the hunt for a cushion for my son’s desk chair because he’s not ergonomically well-positioned at his computer. I have my eye on this chair cushion to provide a boost and comfort.

Another absolute must-have for every member of our family for distance learning and work: CalmOptics blue light blocking glasses. Now that we’re all on screens for a large part of the day, it’s essential that we wear these protective glasses to prevent eye strain, itchy eyes, headaches and even trouble sleeping––which can all be caused by blue light from screens. We love our glasses so much we even wear them to watch TV and my son wears them when playing video games as well. They’re a lifesaver anytime you have to look at a screen. CalmOptics glasses come in multiple sizes for little kids, teens and adults, so everyone’s covered––and the styles and colors are super cute too.

It’s vital that we all have our own separate workspaces because we all work better with no distractions. I work while my kids are in their rooms on their school calls, and they just give a shout if they need me––usually to solve a tech issue.

While I have a home office, I find myself migrating around the house a lot more with my laptop to be closer to my kids as we acclimate to connecting to Zoom calls and sorting out all the various school programs they need to navigate online. They often have questions and need support during these early weeks of this new way of doing school, so it’s easier for me to be nearby. My kids have always been respectful of my need to do my job (I’ve worked from home their whole lives), so they understand that more often than not, their downtime is my work time. When my kids were physically at school, I had large chunks of time alone to complete my work. Nowadays I have been working more late nights when it’s silent and I can work uninterrupted.

Throughout the Day: Staying Organized Saves Our Sanity

As mentioned, my kids’ school days are set up in chunks of time for each class subject. We all prefer tangible paper trails and dry erase boards over digital calendars, so I printed up and posted their schedules on the dining room wall so we can all see at a glance what’s happening when and so we all know when snack and lunch breaks take place. I have a magnetic dry erase board on my fridge that functions as my brain outside my body. Without it, I’d be lost. My daughter also got this weekly dry erase board for her wall to keep her assignments straight.

I also read a study that it’s really good for kids’ organization if they keep track of their assignments and to-do lists in written form, so we’re big fans of paper planners.

Lunchtime & Multiple Meet-Ups At the Kitchen Table to Check-in

The kitchen table is the heart of our home. The kids have daily snack time (from 10:10-10:30 a.m.) and lunch time (from 11:45 a.m.-12:45 p.m.), so we all sit together to eat and discuss what’s happening and what needs to be accomplished. I offer them fresh, healthy brain foods to keep them alert and energized. I make sure we have tons of grab and go fruit on hand as well as their favorite snacks and food so this downtime is something they look forward to and enjoy.

It’s the silver lining of home learning that we get to spend time together throughout the day and I’m up to speed on how they’re coming along with their schoolwork and privy to what they’re working on.

After School: Getting Off Screens & Outdoors is Vital to Our Happiness

Whether we’re taking an educational field trip to San Diego Botanic Garden, heading to soccer practice, riding scooters and skateboards or walking the dog, we usually can’t wait to get out of the house and into the great outdoors at the end of the virtual school day. It’s the most important part of our day to break away from screens, get fresh air and clear and reset our minds. School ends for both of my kids between 2-3 p.m. each day, depending on whether they have PE or music or need to finish up classwork that was assigned for the day. Normally, they’re out of in-person school at 2:50 p.m., so this means some days we get more free time (including no commute or long school pick-up lines), which I don’t miss.

None of us are fans of distance learning, but we’re grateful we have supportive teachers and the ability to rise to this unprecedented occasion from home. I know my kids will never again take for granted the ability to walk onto their school campus to see their friends and attend classes in person.

Interested in telling your story? Start by filling out our questionnaire here. All stories are anonymous.

—story and photos by Beth Shea

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