If there’s one thing the Easter Bunny (ahem, you) knows, it’s that there are plenty of treats and sweet Easter basket fillers floating around on the big day. That’s why a basket not brimming with sugar is a good move for you and the kids. They’ll have fun surprises and Easter basket stuffers to enjoy, and you’ll be spared the inevitable crash after one too many chocolate bunnies.

We’ve curated a unique collection of Easter basket fillers for kids of all ages—even hard-to-please tweens. Believe it or not, there are a ton of fun and adorable fillers that don’t include a sugar coma. Pick one or two special gifts to surprise them with on Easter morning, or go all out and welcome the unofficial start of spring with a huge haul. Whichever way you go, these picks are sure to get the Bunny’s stamp of approval. So sneak a Peep or two (we won’t tell) and check out our list of basket-ready ideas.

Amuseable Tulip Pot

Jellycat

Did you squeal a little? We did. A plush pot filled with tulips and a contented little demeanor are exactly what we needed but didn't know it.

Amuseable Tulip Pot ($40.00)—Buy Here!

Sunflower Butterfly Sheer Crew Sock

a person's legs propped against a pink wall wearing sheer floral socks
Sock Candy

If you can find a better spring-inspired sock, let us know. We'll wait. If florals aren't what you're after, though, Sock Candy has a bunch of fabulous sheer (and not-so-sheer) socks to check out, too.

Sunflower Butterfly Sheer Crew Sock ($18.00)—Buy Here!

Lego Flowers in Watering Can 3-in-1

Lego

Older kids especially appreciate a more involved Lego build, and this cheerful watering can is absolutely ready to display for spring. It's a 3-in-1, so they can build perching birds or a rain boot, too!

Lego Flowers in Watering Can 3-in-1 ($29.99)—Buy Here!

Paint by Sticker Kids: Pets

a paint by sticker book laid out open to show pages
Amazon

Skip the wet paint and go straight to stickers with this puzzle art activity book. With 10 colorful pets to sticker-'paint', it's a great choice for any upcoming spring break travel, too.

Paint by Sticker Kids: Pets ($7.91)—Buy Here!

Tiny Gardening by SmartLab Toys

tiny gardening kit toy
SmartLab Toys

A miniature desktop greenhouse complete with tiny gardening tools is perfect for spring. It's a craft-meets-science-project that lets them experiment with seeds and soils over and over.

Tiny Gardening by SmartLab Toys ($24.99)—Buy Here!

Bunny & Chick Building Pieces Set Tube

PLUS PLUS

These interlocking pieces are like if a puzzle and Legos had a baby that create 3-D builds like this adorable bunny and chick, complete with carrot and an Easter egg! This one is adorable for Easter basket stuffers.

Bunny & Chick Building Pieces Set Tube ($16.48)—Buy Here!

Giant Hatch & Grow Dinos, Set of 3

three dinosaur egg toys with three dinosaur figures
Lakeshore Learning

When these prehistoric eggs get submerged in water, they crack and hatch a dino within 72 hours! (We don't know that's not how it really happened, right?)

Giant Hatch & Grow Dinos, Set of 3 ($22.99)—Buy Here!

SunGemmer Window Art Suncatcher Kit

stick on gem art set
SunGemmer

This sparkly set includes 2 pre-printed window designs, 2 color guides, over 1000 SunGemmer gemstone sun-catching stickers, a double-sided mounting tape, plus full instructions.

SunGemmer Window Art Suncatcher Kit ($12.99)—Buy Here!

6-Pack Hatching Baby Plants Egg Bundle

set of 6 pink plastic eggs and multiple plant baby figures
Schleich

You probably didn't know baby plants could be so darn cute, but don't feel bad. We didn't, either. This bundle comes with 6 eggs, each with a baby plant ready to hatch, and a collectible mini-poster inside.

6-Pack Hatching Baby Plants Egg Bundle ($19.99)—Buy Here!

Bitzee Interactive Toy Digital Pet

Bitzee

We all remember our first digital pet, their little habitat hanging from keyrings on our backpacks. Bitzee is the next generation, with 15 pets inside that all react to touch: pets, swipts, and tilts. It's the #1 most-gifted on Amazon, so you know it's good.

Bitzee Interactive Toy Digital Pet ($29.49)—Buy Here!

Snowshoe Hare Adoption Kit by Earth Rangers

rabbit virtual adoption kit
Earth Rangers

Bring home a (plush!) Easter Bunny of your own and make a direct contribution to protecting animals your kiddo loves. The Snowshoe Hare Adoption Kit  includes a plush bunny rabbit, an adoption certificate, a trading card, and a poster with fun facts to learn about your new fluffy friend (here's one: after blending in with its snowy surroundings all winter, the Snowshoe Hare changes its fur back to a rusty brown to celebrate spring!)

Snowshoe Hare Adoption Kit by Earth Rangers ($36.00)—Buy Here!

Kidoki Cat's Cradle

Kikkerland

Get them engaged and learning with these fun cat's cradle game variations—complete with string and instructions.

Kidoki Cat's Cradle ($6.00)—Buy Here!

Kitsch Chiffon Dinner Hair Scrunchie

female with head turned to feature the pink scrunchie in her dark curly hair
Kitsch

This extra-large, 8in diameter scrunchie is the perfect way to add a little extra oomph to any outfit, plus it works with most hair types. Available in 3 colors.

Kitsch Chiffon Dinner Hair Scrunchie ($13.99)—Buy Here!

Articulated Axolotl Fidget Toy

a hand holding a teal axolotl toy
Curious Minds Busy Bags

This friendly Axolotl has a jointed tail that keeps hands busy! It comes in 4 colors (and it's great for both adults and kids).

Articulated Axolotl Fidget Toy ($13.99)—Buy Here!

BAKEUP Beauty Gem Playbox Set

Urban Outfitters

If they're not ready for makeup, these gems are perfect for adding some sparkle whether they go all out or add just a little bit of bling.

BAKEUP Beauty Gem Playbox Set ($24.00)—Buy Here!

Zodiac Trinket Dish

set of zodiac trinket dishes
Shop Sweet Lulu

Everyone loves goodies with their zodiac sign, and this little bowl is ideal for jewelry, change, or tiny treasures your kids collect throughout the day. All 12 zodiac sign designs are available.

Zodiac Trinket Dish ($16.00)—Buy Here!

Goblies Throwable Paintballs

pack of throwable paintballs in pink
Goblies

There's no better way to celebrate the warmer spring weather than by getting a little messy. These throwable paintballs have all the splashy fun of traditional paintballs, without the high-impact launching. The paint is washable and non-toxic, too. Available in multiple colors.

Goblies Throwable Paintballs ($14.99+)—Buy Here!

Pure Magic Vinyl Sticker

Inklings

If decorating-with-stickers was a class, our kids would get an A+ every time. It's become a real art, and this sticker is a must-have addition to their collection.

Pure Magic Vinyl Sticker ($3.50)—Buy Here!

Tiny Floral Temporary Tattoo Tin

small metal tin filled with floral temporary tattoos
Tattly

How gorgeous are these temporary tattoos? They're safely printed with vegetable-based ink and can last up to 4 days.

Tiny Floral Temporary Tattoo Tin ($15.00)—Buy Here!

World's Smallest Hungry Hungry Hippos

tiny game of hungry hungry hippos
World's Smallest

It works exactly the same as the original game, except, well, smaller. We're seriously big fans of this tiny game.

World's Smallest Hungry Hungry Hippos ($9.95)—Buy Here!

Art Cube Flower Pop

DLK

No one ever said Rubik's Cubes have to be in primary colors only. No one. This flowery art cube works exactly the same as the original, but with a twist. Pardon the pun.

Art Cube Flower Pop ($20.00)—Buy Here!

Highlights Hidden Pictures Easter Puzzles

Highlights

If there's anything the folks over at Highlights know, it's puzzles. 

Highlights Hidden Pictures Easter Puzzles ($11.69)—Buy Here!

Taco Cat Goat Cheese Pizza Easter Edition Game

Dolphin Hat Games

There's a good chance your family already loves the original Taco Cat Goat Cheese Pizza card game (and if they don't yet, they absolutely will!), and the Easter Edition is just as much fun.

Taco Cat Goat Cheese Pizza Easter Edition Game ($9.99)—Buy Here!

Build-A-Bear Mini Beans Collection

stuffed cow, hedgehog, and plush easter basket filled with three mini plushes
Build-A-Bear

Even if you're skipping jellybeans this year, don't skip these Mini Beans! Build-A-Bear's collection of Easter basket-sized buddies includes Splatter Cow, Cool Quills Hedgehog, and, of course, Pawlette Rabbit.

Build-A-Bear Mini Beans Collection ($9.50+)—Buy Here!

Glamnetic Press-On Nails in 'Siren', Short Oval

hand with shiny teal press on nails
Glamnetic

Glamnetic nails are notorious for gorgeous designs, multiple length and shape options, and major staying power. We think these short mermaid-inspired nails are perfect for tweens who aren't quite ready for a full-length set. Use them with the included glue, or snag some of the press-on sticker tabs, instead, for less mess and less commitment. 

Glamnetic Press-On Nails in 'Siren', Short Oval ($19.99)—Buy Here!

Ooly Scented Tutti Fruitti Color Changing Gel Pens, Set of 6

pack of 6 scented gel pens
Ooly

These are quite possibly the coolest pens we've ever seen. From schoolwork to journaling, these are an awesome addition to their options.

Ooly Scented Tutti Fruitti Color Changing Gel Pens, Set of 6 ($9.95)—Buy Here!

NeeDoh Chicka DeeDoos Stress Squeeze Toys, Set of 3

NeeDoh

NeeDoh creates the ultimate stress ball, and this bundle of three neon chicks are here to help you knead the stress away (or to just play with for the sensory experience).

NeeDoh Chicka DeeDoos Stress Squeeze Toys, Set of 3 ($15.99)—Buy Here!

YAWN WORLD Kit 01

set of 3 balms for kids
YAWN

YAWN is cosmetics specifically for kids. You read that right. All of it is formulated without sulfates, parabens, phthalates, silicone, mineral oil, or talc. It's designed to be fun and a little messy. This kit comes with All Smiles Lip Balm, Totally Cool Face Multi-Stick, and Be Chill Body Balm, all in a little YAWN pouch.

YAWN WORLD Kit 01 ($29.00)—Buy Here!

Easter Eggstravaganza Mad Libs

Amazon

Is there ever a bad time to add Mad Libs to a gift (or Easter basket?)?

Easter Eggstravaganza Mad Libs ($4.99)—Buy Here!

Miniverse Lifestyle Home Series 1 Mini Collectibles

mini set of birdhouse and vase accessory toys
Target

Each ball comes with realistic mini items and accessories to make your own mini replicas of your favorite lifestyle and home decor pieces! From birdhouses to flowers, and once you've created your replica, simply set it under any UV light for the resin to harden before you display.

Miniverse Lifestyle Home Series 1 Mini Collectibles ($6.99)—Buy Here!

Crazy Aaron's Color-Changing Sunshine Putty Trio

Crazy Aaron's

Everyone loves Crazy Aaron's Thinking Putty, and this springtime-themed trio feels like it was made for Easter basket fillers.

Crazy Aaron's Color-Changing Sunshine Putty Trio ($19.95)—Buy Here!

Lip Smacker Lippy Pals

set of three animal themed lip balms
Lip Smacker

We'll always have a special place in our hearts for Lip Smacker, and these Easter-themed Lippy Pals come in Foxy Apple, Hoppy Carrot Cake, and Strawberry Llama. We might need a set, ourselves. 

Lip Smacker Lippy Pals ($9.99)—Buy Here!

MOLO Sola Sunglasses

girl wearing pink mirrored cat eye sunglasses
Smallable

These UV-protective mirrored sunnies were made for kiddos with a style all of their own. And, of course, it's literally never too early to start protecting their vision!

MOLO Sola Sunglasses ($40.00)—Buy Here!

Boutique Chic All Smiles Earrings

two sets of smiley face earrings
Great Pretenders

Y2K trends are back and we're not at all mad about it, especially when they include good-vibey smilies like these earrings.

Boutique Chic All Smiles Earrings ($6.99)—Buy Here!

 

 

All the products listed are independently & personally selected by our shopping editors.

If you buy something from the links in this article, we may earn affiliate commission or compensation. Prices and availability reflect the time of publication.

All images courtesy of retailers.

 

You don’t have to do it all. Not only is that okay, but it’s healthy

You’ve got a fridge papered with to-do lists and an epic bookmark backlog of work-life balance articles. But, let’s be real: Something’s gotta give. And first on the chopping block should be that tired old trope that you, working mom, can have it all. Ya can’t. But there’s no shame in accepting this. Because you can easily kill it at this mom life/work life thing by ditching unnecessary stressors. Think of it as Marie Kondo-ing your life. Here are 13 ideas about what working moms give up to help them stay sane.

1) Scratch-made meals. every. single. night. 

While family dinner is great for kids, and we’re all gaga over the idealized concept of the home-cooked meal, we’re all about the cheats. Consider a healthy meal-delivery service, buy a bag of pre-made pasta and stir in some veggies, or get your takeout on.

2) Chasing a perfect 50/50 family/work split. 

Some weeks your family will need more attention. And others, you’ve got to play it like Sandberg and lean in at work. The trick (basic but effective) is communication—tell your partner if they need to step up and be honest with your boss about your sick kiddo at home.

3) Work happy hours. 

Sure, you can go big at important events like holiday parties. But watching Ben from IT perfect his “Friends in Low Places” game at karaoke every Friday night isn’t going to make a difference come annual review time. Kick it at home with a glass of wine or some family-friendly mocktails instead.

4) Being a DIY goddess. 

Bakesale? Store-bought cookies. Party favors? Etsy. Done and done. And even Halloween costumes can be hacked: hot glue, not sewing; hitting the thrift store, not the craft store. (But if DIY is your thing? By all means, keep it up, Martha!) 

5) That social-media addiction.

mom on her phone
iStock

Life’s little moments don’t all need Facebook documentation, and studies show that scrolling through endless feeds of life presented as perfect (when it never is) leads to a major self-doubt spiral. Designate a time to catch up—say 9-9:30 p.m. And if you still find yourself scrolling during the day, try switching your phone’s color settings to grayscale, which makes it a lot less appealing, or take your social apps off of your home screens so they’re more tedious to find.

6) Making it to every practice and every rehearsal.

Be there for your kids when it matters—at the big game or on opening night. But it’s perfectly fine to tag-team chauffeur duty with a mom-friend. And if your pal is a SAHM who picks up your slack during the week, let her kids hang out at your place some weekends to give her a break.

7) Saying “yes” to every friend invite.

Real talk: Friend time is one of the first things to go when you have littles. And while losing your social life completely is a no-no—consider re-evaluating your friendships. Prioritize those who infuse you with energy and joy. And cut out anyone who leaves you drained.

8) Doing everything for your kids.

Little guys can be more self-sufficient than we give them credit for! Assign them basic tasks like folding towels or watering plants. And, as they get older, graduate them to making their own simple lunches, dusting, and dishwasher duty.

9) Giving up your house to your children (and their stuff).

Toy creep—it’s a problem. When kid stuff is strewn all over the place, it means more picking up for you and dad. Limit their toys to a single room. Or, at least, designate toy-free zones like your bedroom and the primary bath.

10) Overcommitting.

Three birthday parties in one weekend? Just no. Keeping up with the scheduling of parties and playdates is hard enough, let alone the driving, hosting, baking, and present-buying (not to mention the, ahem, cost). Declining some invites = less stress and more family time.

11) Getting up with your kids every night.

When they holler “Mommmm,” it’s A-OK if dad comes to the rescue. And while an every-other-night deal with the hubs might be unrealistic, prioritize who does the calming based on what you each have on tap the next day.

12) That idea of the “perfect” work persona.

While setting boundaries might seem scary, you’ll find that your coworkers will come to respect them—whether it’s no meetings after five or no emails on weekends. Consistency is key. And if you’re hourly, let it be known (politely) that your hours are firm, and no, you can’t cover for your slacker co-worker who’s MIA again. Standing your ground—while otherwise crushing it at your job—is one way to reshape the workplace for working moms.

13) Stalling on switching jobs.

Despite giving it your best shot, sometimes your company just isn’t (and will never be) parent-friendly. In this case, it’s time to bust out the ole resume and start your job hunt. And don’t feel bad about it! Put out feelers with working-mom friends because they’ll have your back. And for part-time work, do a little research. There are great companies out there (like us at Alice’s Table!) that let you make your own schedules, or that offer benefits packages even to part-time workers (Starbucks, Whole Foods, Home Depot).

And as for what you should never give up—ever? “Me” time (even if you’ve got to schedule it in), “us” time (even if it’s just Netflix and chill), and time to breathe. You’ve got this!

Alice's Table is a new woman-founded company that throws flower-arranging workshops and teaches women how to host classes themselves so they can launch a creative career or side gig that's fun, flexible, and rewarding.

“You can be an amazing mom, a great partner, a supportive sibling, a kind daughter, a competent coworker, a good friend, and an amazing individual”

I have spent my whole life setting myself on fire to keep everyone around me warm—sacrificing my time, emotional energy, and, quite often, my well-being and sanity for other people. It certainly wasn’t ingrained in me to do this just in motherhood. Oh no, it started far before children, when I was a kid myself. I learned to wipe my own tears, stuff down my feelings and do what was right for everyone… everyone but me.

Due to this self-sacrificing nature that my childhood demanded, I developed a trigger about taking time for myself away from my children. I was so determined not to make them put their needs aside like I had to do, that I didn’t take care of myself at all. Like seriously at all. I hated the term “self-care.” I couldn’t relate to moms who went out without their kids, literally ever. I had two pedicures in seven years, and my daughter was with me both times. I was so afraid of not being there for everyone and not taking care of my kids in the way they deserved that I held myself to an impossible standard—never allowing myself a break.

I was quite willing to happily sacrifice my last ounce of sanity and self to parenthood. Sure, I was burned out, but they were worth it, and I felt that was what I needed to do to be the best mother possible. I am sure I did a fabulous job taking care of my family, my kids, and my friends. But my skill set in no way involved how to take care of myself and my mental health. Not only did I not know how to set healthy boundaries, but also how not to feel bad about setting them.

What does this slow burn look like for me through the rest of adulthood? I spend all my time fixing people’s problems, absorbing the pain and anxiety of others, giving out advice, and competing for the title of “Most Dependable Human Being, Friend, Daughter, Wife, and Mother.” It means I put my needs on the back burner, thinking I’ll get back around to some form of self-care at some point. And guess what? It never happens. I have given up my health, my peace, my joy, my comfort, and even my safety to keep everyone around me happy.

Then finally, this past year, after a lifetime of pouring out all I had and everything I was, and after almost 10 years of mothering in the same way, I broke down. Not just an “I need a break” kind of meltdown but a complete and total realization that I had to change how I looked at everything to sustain being a good parent and person.

I realized having healthy boundaries doesn’t make me a bad person. I am now learning to listen to my gut when it tells me that I’ve had enough of something and that I need to take a break or step back. Continuing to be a good wife, daughter, sister, and friend can only happen if I give myself permission to help when I can and to stop when I can’t. It means I recognize that I can assist in others’ journeys without feeling like I have to do the work for them. I can care without carrying everyone else’s burdens.

I have always viewed sacrifice as the mother of all virtues, and listen, as a mom, I think most of the time it is a virtue. My kids are my No. 1 priority and I will never put myself before them, but I learned a very important thing about self-care in the last year. Taking care of yourself isn’t just saying “me first,” it’s also saying, “Hey! My health and my well-being matter as much as yours, and being the best mom that I can be requires some breaks and resets sometimes.”

You can be an amazing mom, a great partner, a supportive sibling, a kind daughter, a competent coworker, a good friend, and an amazing individual. You can give to others without it always being to your detriment. You can meet others’ needs without completely abandoning your own.

Taking care of yourself also means you want nothing more than to help your children chase their dreams while running right alongside them, chasing yours as well.

 

The Redeemed Mama is a writer who had had articles published by The Today Show, Love What Matters, The Mighty, Faithit, For Every Mom, The Creative Child Magazine and more. She has 3 beautiful kids and resides in Southern Arizona and loves writing about parenting, life and growth!

Mom groups these days are buzzing with school picture chatter: What should our kids wear? Which package should we purchase? But I’ll let you in on a secret that has allowed me to gleefully bypass the forced seasonal ritual. I never, and I mean never, buy school pictures—and I absolutely don’t feel bad about it.

Let’s journey back to my 1980s childhood. Picture day was a huge deal, but even more important was the day our packages arrived. We’d take the white-with-clear-window folders home to our parents, who would get out their best scissors and carefully cut out the photos.

Then there was that magical moment when we were handed several of the tiniest photos called mini wallets. (Why were they so tiny?) The next day, we furiously and excitedly traded those photos with our friends, sometimes signing the backs with our multicolored pens. Ah, nostalgia. But it’s not the 1980s or ’90s anymore.

Today, there’s little reason to purchase our own kids’ picture packages. Well, there is one good reason to cough up a bunch of your hard-earned dollars—and that’s parental guilt. Somehow, we’ve convinced ourselves that we’re obligated to buy our kiddo’s photos—no matter how terrible they are.

Related: Mom Guilt—from One Full-Time Working Mom to Another

Then we have to display that classic 5×7 or 8×10 in a frame, in our home, for almost no one to ever see—ever. That is, if the photos even make it into a frame. Let’s be real. Most of us throw the pics into a to-be-dealt-with-later pile that is never actually dealt with.

The solution to this wasteful purchase is quite simple: Just don’t do it. Don’t purchase the gold package. Who needs 57 photos of their kid, plus the kid’s face on a pillow and two (bonus) keychains? Don’t talk yourself into the smallest package—which is never less than $30 for a mere four prints that we agreed you wouldn’t be hanging up anyway. Don’t be tempted by a “moderate” package, which will set you back about $75.

That money is better spent on clothes for your kids, lunch food, school supplies, or even splurge items for yourself. Pay to put gas in your car or put it toward a medical bill instead. There’s no rule that says you have to take out a second mortgage on your house or delay paying your rent just to buy your children’s school photos.

The reality is that many of us have multiple children. Even the cheapest school photo package, multiplied by two, three, or four (or more) adds up—fast. Not only are you forking over a lot of cash, but you’re buying items that will likely go unused and unappreciated.

Stop and think for a moment. What are you going to do with those photos, besides keep them in the envelope and shove them in a drawer? You’ll pull them out, years from now, and hand them over to your adult kid, who will, in turn, store them somewhere. Can we all agree on how silly this is?

My own parents recently handed over all of my leftovers—and you know what I did with them? Buried them somewhere I don’t even remember. Because what am I going to do with a 4×6 of my sixth-grade photo—the one where I cut my own bangs the night before and have a look of middle school torture on my face? That stack of photos will never see the light of day.

I get that many moms feel photo-guilt due to affordability. They think that other moms are buying photos, so they have to as well. But if you’re in this camp and your budget is already strained, I want you to know that not everyone buys the photos. I swear.

You aren’t a bad mom for rejecting the ridiculously overpriced packages. In fact, by deciding to spend your money on necessities instead of frivolous extras, you’re teaching your children financial responsibility. You should be applauding—not berating—yourself.

Now, if you’re a mom who adores your child’s awkward smile and cowlick-filled hair and you simply cannot pass up the photo with the customized background, I’m not throwing shade. It’s your money, it’s your home, and it’s your kid. Plus, there’s that rare situation when your child’s pose, outfit, or facial expression is so hysterical, you just have to purchase the pics. That’s absolutely fine. If you want to buy the custom photo blanket with your kid’s mug plastered all over it—you do you.

As for everyone else, if you’re on the fence about what to do, ask yourself a few questions. One, why do you want to order these photos at this time? Two, how many pics do you actually need? Three, what are you going to do with them—for real—once they arrive? If you don’t have a designated person or place for them and you’re only ordering out of guilt, do you really need to click the purchase button?

I have yet to order school photos, and my four kids simply don’t care. They know that it’s not the norm in our family, and they are perfectly content with the yearbook they receive every May. No mini wallets, school-photo-on-a-coffee-cup, or packet of prints necessary.

A widowed dad took to Reddit seeking advice after his teen daughter had her first breakup, and the internet delivered in truly heartwarming fashion

Parenting isn’t easy for anyone, but some people’s circumstances just make it much harder. One poster on Reddit shared that he’s a widowed, single dad to three girls—something that’s more difficult than most of us can even imagine. But he’s clearly doing his absolute best, as evidenced by his post asking the internet for guidance after his eldest daughter’s first breakup.

“My oldest just turned 16 this past May and has been dating this boy from her school for one year,” he wrote. “I knew the boy… he came to our house and vice versa. He is 17 years old. On Friday I was called by my middle child to come back home ASAP because my oldest was having a crisis. She found her boyfriend with another girl in his house in a very compromising situation. She wanted to surprise him because he didn’t go to school that day because he was ‘sick’ which is what he had told her but he skipped to be with this other classmate.”

My little girl (16f) got cheated on by her first boyfriend and I don’t know how to help
by u/Al72070912 in Parenting

He continued, “Needless to say my baby is in a very bad place. I know this was bound to happen one day but I am not ready or equipped for this. I have zero dating experience or relationship experience relating to this. I’ve only had two partners and one of them was my wife, I haven’t dated since she passed 11 years ago I am not the best to give advice in this situation. On Friday I did my best to comfort her which she allowed me to, she also requested if she could have an STD test which I took her to have. Now she has barely eaten, barely leaves her bedroom and doesn’t want to talk to anyone. I got her her favourite snacks, and things she would enjoy I know it’s not much but I don’t know what to do to make it all better. It’s now 2am on a school night and I walked past her room and she is crying. I know it’s not only the fact that she was cheated on it’s what she saw as well. Please some advice will be helpful.”

Doesn’t that make you just want to wrap this whole family up in a hug? And that’s pretty much what commenters did with their words in the replies.

“I’m so sorry to hear about your wife. You’re doing such a great job so far. Don’t feel bad if you’re speechless and don’t have anything to say. Just hold her and let her cry. Maybe bring a cold washcloth to put on her face so the swelling can go down,” the top comment reads.

Another reader had this advice to offer: “I was a daughter with a single father. When this happened to me, it just helped that he hugged me and didn’t try to fix it. He just reminded me that it would be OK. There’s nothing like that first heartbreak. You’re a good dad.”

In an update, Dad thanked everyone for the kind suggestions and shared that his daughter eventually wanted to talk, after some of the initial shock wore off. They agreed that she would skip her last week of school and started making plans for a family vacation together. At her request, they also made an appointment with her psychologist.

“I know time will make this easier, it’s just hard to watch her suffer,” he wrote. Something all parents will relate to—but Dad, you’re doing just fine.

This dad’s brutally honest tweets about what life is really like after kids are sparking an important conversation—and more parents need to be having it

Do we have too rosy of a view of what life is like after kids? One dad’s viral tweet thread says so, and parents are applauding him for his brutal honesty about the realities of parenting in the modern age.

Jay Acunzo started his thread by setting the scene: “I just spent 3 days with dear friends, all of whom have kids ages 8mo to 4y. Something I need to get off my chest about being a parent of young kids and the culture we live in.”

He continues on to write that what our culture demands parents share about their kids doesn’t match up with what they’re actually experiencing during parenthood.

“What the culture shares and even demands you share about having kids/being a parent is that it’s precious, it’s a gift, it’s a joy, etc. But this is not what actual parents talk about or how actual parents feel,” he wrote. “Instead…We talked about the fact that our physical + mental health had gotten problematic. Our careers had taken huge hits. Our friendships were drifting. Our relationships with our partners felt strained (one person summed it up as: they’re basically just the other parent I live with). We didn’t sit around writing Hallmark cards to the joys of parenting. We sat around going HO-LEE FORKING SHIRTBALLS this is impossibly hard and every dimension of our life got worse: health, finances, career, love, etc. EXCEPT a new dimension called Loving Our Kids (10/10 great).”

Acunzo even added that it felt wrong to be so honest. The voice in his head told him to “walk it back” and add caveats like “even though I adore them!”

“But the way the culture talks about parenting is not how actual parents talk about parenting to each other,” he wrote.

And then he made this extremely important point: “Parents ought to be given more permission to say multiple things are totally true at the same time, because we feel ashamed to feel bad about our experiences otherwise. Because yes, we all feel like dogsh*t during the early stages of parenting very tiny kids. Yes, we wish we had more time for ourselves and our work. And yes, kids are the reason why every dimension of our lives took a hit EXCEPT this one amazing new dimension. BUT ALSO…We wouldn’t trade it. We don’t regret it. I routinely drop everything to console or play with them. I would, w/o thinking, take a bullet for them. I’d arm wrestle The Rock — and I promise you, I’d win — for my kids.”

In the replies, many other parents joined the conversation.

“I think it also depends on culture – in the western world there’s a lot of emphasis on the “individual” sometimes at the expense of the collective. I grew up in Pakistan – our culture emphasizes alot on the collective. Multi – generational families living together, close communities , families , relatives etc – takes a village to raise children. Now raising kids as first generation immigrants in Canada – it’s incredibly hard without the family support network and I think part of the culture here is to almost force independence on parents and kids from an early age,” one commenter wrote.

And this very relatable comment: “I remember going to the playground as a new mom. All the moms were gushing about how perfect their babies were and how wonderful motherhood was. I went home and told my husband they were all lying. The parenthood culture doesn’t encourage honestly talking about the struggle.”

In other words, we need to make more space for parents to talk about all the realities of parenthood. Are there wonderful parts? Of course! But some parts of it just suck, and there’s no way around that. And it’s OK to make space to talk about that, too.

A new survey of parents showed that dads have a (very slight) edge over moms when it comes to controlling toddler tantrums

Moms, here’s the sign you’ve been looking for. A new survey showed that dads have an edge over moms when it comes to taking care of child meltdowns, so next time your toddler has a tantrum, just call on your partner to take care of it.

The survey, conducted by OnePoll on behalf of Baby Magic, asked a series of questions of 1,000 moms and 1,000 dads with kids ages four and under. Their findings will make you feel a lot better about dealing with tantrums—including the fact that 45 percent of respondents said dads are better at tantrum control than moms (compared to 42 percent who said moms are best).

The survey also showed that the average parent compromises with their toddler four times per week, with the most common reasons for bargaining being bedtime, bathtime, and morning routines. And before you feel bad about your toddler having a meltdown (especially if it happens somewhere public), know that you’re far from alone—74 percent of the parents surveyed said their kid had had at least one tantrum in the last month.

Even more relatable are the reasons the parents shared for their kids’ meltdowns: “Because he couldn’t fit a toy in his toy car,” “his shirt wasn’t pants,” “I wouldn’t let them play in the toilet,” and “I gave her spaghetti and she doesn’t like the color red so she refused to eat it,” just to name a few. It just goes to show there truly is no such thing as a logical, rational toddler—something that can be helpful to keep in mind next time they start screaming.

And in case you needed even more news to make you feel better about whatever your child’s latest tantrum was over, know that the survey showed that 76 percent of parents admit they’ve made mistakes with their kids. Moms are more likely to feel guilty when they’ve made a mistake than dads (of course), at 59 percent versus 44 percent. But dads can teach us all a lesson in keeping a cool head—30 percent of them say they’re able to step back and return feeling refocused, compared to just 18 percent of moms.

“Parenting is messy, but oftentimes the beauty is found in the imperfections, especially when you have a village to help,” said Hazel Smith, Senior Marketing Manager at Baby Magic.

Being okay with doing less is actually something to celebrate

I’ve been a mom for almost 12 years, and for half of those years, I was forced to do less by default. I was working full-time with two small children who constantly needed things from me, so an Instagrammable parenting life was not in the cards. Ironically, I was working for parenting sites during that time, so I was very well-versed in all the things other moms were somehow pulling off: juggling extracurriculars, having craft-tastic holidays, and volunteering for all the things.

Doing less started as a necessity, but as my kids grew older and less demanding and I realized I had more choice in the matter, doing less actually became the gold standard for how to run a functional house. Moms who do less, I salute you. And moms who haven’t figured out how to lighten the load a little yet, here are some tips. I believe in you. You too can do less.

Birthdays

I grew up in the ’80s, and every single birthday party followed the same itinerary: invite a few kids over, play some games (usually involving pinning the tail on something and sitting on a balloon until it popped), eat cake, open presents, and send kids home. For my daughter’s 6th birthday, I decided to go for a princess theme. We rented out a place that had “princess makeovers”—little salon seats where the girls got their nails and makeup done. Then women dressed like Disney princesses galavanted around the room and took pictures with everyone. There was a perfect tier of cupcakes with little tiaras sitting atop each one.

You know what all the girls’ favorite part of that party was? When they sat in a circle and played hot potato. Seriously. A real potato being thrown from person to person. Because kids are simple little beings who are easily entertained and I promise you that having a group of friends over and dancing around your living room for a bit will be just as fun for them as going to some faux-fairyland where they get age-appropriate makeovers. We’re doing too much. The next year I bought a little disco light for $12 off of Amazon, and the girls danced and played hot potato. Do less.

Extracurriculars

There are some kids who are drawn to extracurriculars; I know this because my friends have them. My kids are not. For several years, I forced them to “try some out,” thinking for sure they’d find something they liked. We attempted jujitsu, gymnastics, ballet… nothing interested them. They participated, but no real fun was being had. One day after jujitsu, I walked up to my son and asked him if he enjoyed it. He said, “Not really, but I know you really want me to do something, so I’ll keep going, Mom!”

What? I realized then that not all kids need to be shuttled around from one activity to the next. Kudos to you if you have kids who are naturals, but if yours aren’t into it, don’t stress. Take the extracurriculars off all of your plates. You’re not a worse mom because you’re not spending half your life in your car, taking your kids places they may not even want to be.

Dinner

I have a lot of former child-free friends who smugly declared they’d never make separate meals for their future kids, and my favorite thing to do is laugh in their faces when I see them feeding their kids marshmallows for dinner. Then I give them a high five, because, solidarity. The thing about kids is that they’re little human beings with their own interests and opinions. Weird, right?

Just like some adults don’t like Brussels sprouts, some kids don’t, either! And you don’t need to stress about it. Find one easy dinner they like and default to it on any day that they’re feeling picky, and don’t feel bad about it. My kids get excited about breakfast for dinner, so I know if all else fails they’ll eat egg whites and toast—and I’m fine with that. Find your egg whites and toast, and call it a day.

School Fundraising

Book fairs, holiday fairs, wrapping paper drives, box tops, Parent Teacher Association parties… there is so much (much-needed) fundraising that goes on when your kids are in school. PTAs are amazing organizations that truly help supplement funds so schools can pull off some great programs for kids.

You know what they need besides hands-on parental involvement? Cash. Don’t feel bad about opting out of the physical aspect of it and just giving a donation. It’s a lot. And there are parents who don’t have very small children or don’t work full-time or just simply enjoy the heavy lifting involved with school fundraising. Let them do it, support monetarily, and don’t feel bad about it.

School Projects

School projects are meant to be done by kids. Alone. Not supervised and directed by a parent. If you are stressing out about a school project, it’s probably because some over-zealous parent totally constructed their child’s, then bragged about what an artistic genius their kid was on social media. That parent is a lying liar. Let your kid make their crappy, age-appropriate project without your help. Then all you need to do is be proud of said crappy, age-appropriate project.

Clean Rooms

If our kids’ rooms look like an outtake from a Pottery Barn catalog, we’ve gone too far. Kids like to play with things. They like to build intricate lands and return to those lands. Kids need a safe space to call their own, and part of that is deciding how that space will look. Set boundaries about certain things that you think are “too far”—and stick to them. But don’t get down on yourself if your child’s room is a mess. Taking the pressure off of them will also take the pressure off of you.

Making Things Magical

In our effort to make things as magical as possible, we can forget that the most magical thing about childhood is… childhood. The belief in the magical will be there whether you’re able to pull off Instagram-worthy Elf on the Shelf scenes or convince your kids there is a fairy garden that’s taken up residence on the other side of their wall by constructing an elaborate little door. Ninety percent of belief and magic lives in our imaginations—something you’ll remember if you think about your own childhood. You’re not failing if you can’t pull these things off—we’re simply not all meant to craft. And that’s just fine.

Social media filters are really doing a number on our kids’ self-esteem

If you are wondering whether the unrealistic images of perfection that social media filters layer over our kids’ faces are causing them harm—you can stop wondering. They are. TikTok’s “Bold Glamour” is the newest filter receiving criticism for the unrealistic image that reflects back on viewers when they use it. It’s one thing to be an adult experimenting with tools like this, but studies have shown time and time again that these filters are damaging our kids’ self-esteem (more on that below). And it’s really time to take the effects they’re having on our kids seriously.

What is the TikTok Bold Glamour filter?

The reason the Bold Glamour filter is causing such an uproar might be because its execution is pretty flawless. When you look at yourself through the lens of the filter, your skin is perfect, your brows are snatched, and your lips are plumped to correspond with society’s current standards of beauty. It’s a subtle yet jarring change—that illustrates just how “imperfect” your actual image is.

@zoe_george_

Filters like this help set unrealistic standards of beauty on the youth of today. Some filters are a bit of fun I get it, but we mustn’t forget natural beauty too. Let’s not lose sight of reality. #naturalisbeautifultoo

♬ original sound – Zoe_George

“It’s just scary because there’s a lot of girls out there who don’t realize when someone’s got a filter on, and they’re chasing perfection because they think that’s what everybody looks like,” Zoe George, former Big Brother Australia contestant says in her video. “And this is not what people look like.”

@kellystrackofficial

This filter is really something else 😂 should I try and do a tutorial recreating this filter with makeup? #fyp #makeup #beauty #beautyfilter #boldglamour #AXERatioChallenge

♬ original sound – Kelly Strack

The filter has been used nearly two million times in the last two days, and many users are reacting the same way—questioning whether the filter is solidifying an unrealistic expectation of beauty. We don’t have to wonder though, at least when it comes to adolescents.

What does the research say?

The research proves time and time again that social media use has a negative effect on teens and tweens. “We make body image issues worse for one in three teen girls,” said a slide from an internal presentation by Facebook in 2019 that was seen and reported on by the Wall Street Journal. Facebook whistleblower Frances Haugen, a former data scientist at Facebook, leaked an internal study that found that 13.5% of U.K. teen girls in one survey said their suicidal thoughts became more frequent after starting to use Instagram, 17% of teen girls said their eating disorders got worse after using Instagram, and about 32% of teen girls said that when they felt bad about their bodies, Instagram made them feel even worse.

So the question is, why are we letting our kids use these platforms?

“Teens and young adults who reduced their social media use by 50% for just a few weeks saw significant improvement in how they felt about both their weight and their overall appearance compared with peers who maintained consistent levels of social media use,” reads a report published by the American Psychological Association.

“Adolescence is a vulnerable period for the development of body image issues, eating disorders, and mental illness,” said lead author Gary Goldfield, Ph.D., of Children’s Hospital of Eastern Ontario Research Institute. “Youth are spending, on average, between six to eight hours per day on screens, much of it on social media. Social media can expose users to hundreds or even thousands of images and photos every day, including those of celebrities and fashion or fitness models, which we know leads to an internalization of beauty ideals that are unattainable for almost everyone.”

I lived through the ’90s as a tween. Even with the absence of things like selfies and social media filters that make teenagers look at themselves way more than is healthy for any human, being a teen is a difficult time. Your body is changing, your skin is changing—your physical characteristics are morphing almost daily into the adult you’ll become. The whistleblower research from Facebook is absolutely stunning—knowing that 32% of teen girls were made to feel worse just by virtue of using Instagram regularly. It really makes you wonder if we all need a giant reset.

When our kids are babies, we obsess over every. single. safety measure. We take recalls very, very seriously, as we should. When we discover things like crib bumpers are dangerous, we take measurable actions to avoid those things, even banning them from the market. It’s really past time for us to take a good look at what allowing our tweens and teens on social media is doing to their mental health—to really absorb the research.

“Research shows that young adults who frequently use filters on social media often have increased feelings of dissatisfaction with their actual face and body,” reports The Newport Institute. “Not only are they comparing their appearance to ‘perfect’ images of celebrities and peers, they’re judging themselves against their own filtered selfies.

“Social media overuse and social comparison can trigger anxiety, depression, and self-esteem issues, or they can make existing mental health conditions worse.”

How do we help our child reduce social media use?

So what do we do?

Well, knowing we as parents probably have a social media addiction of our own means that we can work with our children to reduce time spent on apps. Choose a day a week and make it a no-screen day. Your kid can see you modeling behavior, and you will most definitely end up spending more time together if you’re not glued to your respective devices.

Related: What to Do When Your Kid Wants a Social Media Account

You can also help them to curate their feeds. Teach them how to unfollow accounts that make them feel bad. Share some hashtags that will expose them to new communities like #bodypositivity or #booktok or other things that shift focus away from how they look and toward other interests.

And most importantly, expose your child to the research and talk to them about it. If they’re old enough to use the apps, they are old enough to start to grasp why certain things about their use are unhealthy.