Dear Mom Who Is Totally Screwing Up,

Today my six-year-old daughter screamed the whole way home because I would not buy her a pottery wheel. Today I lost my patience. I will lose my patience again tomorrow.

I sometimes clean up her messes, because I can’t deal with the potential meltdown or maintain the calm presence required to walk her through how to clean it on her own.

I let her watch kids’ shows with obnoxious characters who whine a lot and lack depth.

I tune her out after hours of nonstop talking. Lord knows what I have given her permission to do when answering with a vague, “Yeah, sure.”

Yesterday she informed me that she hates quesadillas, one of the five or so foods she has always willingly consumed. Eat chicken nuggets then. Whatever.

I catch myself whining at her in the same voice that enrages me when it comes from her mouth. I am failing by example.

I’ve read the articles; I know the current “rules” of being a great mother. I think most of those carefully curated “shoulds” were written by liars and people who have never been around children. At best, they are hopeful ideals.

I gave in to the tantrum because my brain was so loud, and it was the only way to filter out some of the noise.

I am not teaching her enough about empathy and equity and racism and compassion and feminism and and and…

I said it was time to go! Get your shoes on right now!

Kids need rules and structure and patience. Those things do not play well together. Probably because their mothers failed them.

I played on my phone. I played on my phone because I needed to escape, and if you just leave your kid at the park, people call CPS.

In a minute, I’m busy right now.

I’m busy not volunteering at school. Not reading enough books to her. Not not not.

Inside my head, there is a version of me sitting with my head between my knees and my hands over my ears. Inside my head, there’s a version of my kids tapping me on the shoulder, repeating, “Mommy, watch this. Mom. Mommy. Mom.” Because of course.

But I do know this. At the end of the day, she asks to cuddle. She shares her dinnertime candy with me because she “likes to do nice things for people.” She talks about the fun things I actually mustered up the energy to do, not as a way of saying how much better I could be, but as a way of saying how much “enough” I am. She sometimes mimics my worst but also mimics my best.

So maybe there is hope. Maybe it’s not so bad. Maybe there is always tomorrow.

Dear Mom Who Is Totally Screwing Up, I wish this could be one of those uplifting messages about how you’re really not. But maybe you are. How the hell would I know? All I have to offer you is solidarity and a glass of wine.

Maybe maybe will have to be enough.

Originally published Sept. 2016.

RELATED LINKS
An Open Letter to the “Lazy” Mother in the Grocery Store
Why You Should Fight the Urge to Make a Happy Kid Happier
I Am a Pandemic Mother

Rhiannon Giles is an overwhelmed mother who only occasionally considers giving her children to the circus. She has a sarcasm problem and writes regularly at rhiyaya.com. To keep up with new posts and see some of her favorites, join her on Facebook and Twitter.

You don’t need a docent to guide you through the Atlanta street art scene, which now boasts over 1000 murals (though you could learn a lot on one of these walking tours). Just hop on a bike, a skateboard, or lace up your sneaks to check out artwork that is as inspiring as it is Insta-worthy. And, to celebrate Atlanta’s growing muralist community, the ATL1000 awareness campaign has big things planned, including a mural painting workshop for kids! Keep reading for our favorite murals around town, below.

This Lela Brunet masterpiece stretches out across several walls of a Buckhead parking deck. If you're looking for a vibrant background with "Atlanta" clearly repeated throughout, this is your spot. One thing to note, however, is that each wall is only about 3-feet high. If you're hoping for a massive backdrop, look elsewhere, but this would be a great backdrop for a younger child or crawler to pose in front of. 

Find It: 3259 Roswell Rd. NE

 

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Tiny Doors ATL is an Atlanta-based art project that installs 7-inch door sculptures by artist Karen Anderson Singer in neighborhoods or at institutions. Door #658 (it's 658 times the size of a traditional tiny door) is located on the Eastside Beltline Trail, and is so big that it will make YOU feel tiny!

Find it: At the Edge OTB (behind the giant bull), 670 DeKalb Ave. SE

 

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Known around town as the #heybrowngirlmural, it's painted on the side of Peters Street Station and is a product of the work done by @nikiaphoenix and @blackgirlbeautifuldotcom, with art by @thepainterbae. It was created to remind us all that brown women all over the world are beautiful, and that representation is important.

Find It: At the corner of Trenholm St. SW and Peters St. SW 

 

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Photo by @sovereignrm

This 70-foot mural of the late Rep. John Lewis is located on the east side of the current Renaissance Walk building. Lewis was a politician and civil rights leader who served as the U.S. Representative for Georgia's 5th congressional district. Located in an area of downtown with much historical significance, you'll be walking in Lewis' footsteps if you go to pay this mural a visit. The Butler Street YMCA building, where civil rights leaders met in the 1960s, is directly south of this mural, and dozens of historical churches and businesses surround it in the Sweet Auburn Historic District

FInd It: 219 Auburn Ave. NE

 

 

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Moms, grab your coffee and head on over to this mural in Castleberry Hill—an historic neighborhood known for its industrial-to-arts vibe—to snap a picture of yourself in your natural environment: wings up. While you're at it, put the Castleberry Hill Art Stroll (every 2nd Friday) on your agenda. You'll visit fascinating and diverse galleries and get a taste of this little corner of Atlanta!

Find It: 217 Walker St. SW

Painted on the side of Atlanta's famous "Disco Kroger" (it used to be a swinging night club called Limelight Disco, where Andy Warhol purportedly hung out in the 80's), this depiction of the building's former glory days by Yoyo Ferro is actually quite glorious, itself. 

Find It: 3330 Piedmont Rd. NE

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Another Castleberry Hill mural, this one pretty much sums it up. And in the family, there couldn't be a better spot than this one to snap a photo of your kiddos getting along. 

Find It: In the vicinity of 261-263 Peters St. 

 

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This is one of two murals in Decatur painted by  @thekillamari for @livingwallsatl as part of the Laura Patricia Calle Grant, which accepts proposals for a public art project that informs and promotes awareness on social equality, feminism, immigrtants' rights, LGBTQ rights, and cultural diversity.  The colors chosen for this mural are inspired by the Pan-Sexual pride flag. 

Find It: Commerce & E. College Ave.

 

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​Lela Brunet is an Atlanta artisit known for depicting contrast between a female form and colorful patterns. This particular mural joins those in @outerspaceproject—a week-long event of art, murals, live music, action sports in the ATL—along the #path400 trail in Buckhead. 

Find It: Old Ivy to Wieuca Rd. spur of Path 400

 

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We love the merry marigolds of this mural that's painted on the side of a shipping container. Find it near the chicken coop area of the Berea Mennonite farm on Bouldercrest in East Atlanta. The small urban church has multiple acres under cultivation and grows over 70 different organic vegetables on the east edge of Atlanta, and sells its food at local farmers’ markets. It also provides a first fruits tithe to the community, distributed through a free clinic. 

Find It: 1088 Bouldercrest Dr. SE

 

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In Grant Park, you'll find this cheerful mural called "Vaso de Flores" by artist Yoyo Ferro @yoyoferro. Big, bright, and bold (also very near The Beacon, in case you're shopping or dining nearby), we could all use a vase of flowers this year. 

Find It: In the vicinity of 1039 Grant St. SE

Located in Buckhead, this mural by Thomas Turner is called "Moon Seeker." It's dedicated to Henry Aaron, legendary MLB right fielder and current SVP of the Atlanta Braves. He was also known as the man boxing legend Muhammad Ali called “The only man I idolize more than myself."

Find It: Just north of 3279 Roswell Rd. NE

 

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February is Black History Month, a time to remember, recognize, honor, and reflect on the achievements of Black Americans. We’re talking about history-defining people like Harriet Tubman, a slave who led other slaves to freedom through the Underground Railroad; Martin Luther King, Jr. and Rosa Parks, who fought for equality in America; and Barack Obama, the first Black president of the United States.

Throughout the month of February, we’ll be sharing stories about Black leaders who’ve broken barriers, fought for equal rights, and made significant impacts throughout the history of the United States. This week, we begin with five young Black female leaders changing the world and making history.

1. Amanda Gorman (Poet, Author & Activist)
Amanda Gorman is a twenty-two-year-old poet whose poems touch upon race, feminism, and oppression. In 2017, Amanda Gorman became the first US National Youth Laureate—a title that’s given to one person who has shown mastery of poetry and/or the spoken word and advocates for social justice. In 2021, she recited an original poem at the US presidential inauguration, becoming the youngest-known person ever to achieve this. Her poem, “The Hill We Climb,” painted both the pain of the past and hope for the future. —By the Library of Congress, LOC, Public Domain

2. Mari Copeny (Clean Water Activist & Women’s March Ambassador)
When she was just eight years old, she wrote to then-president Barack Obama about the toxic water that was running through the pipes of her city, Flint, Michigan. In her letter, she asked that President Obama visit her city and lift people’s spirits. The president did visit and eventually declared a state of emergency for the toxic water crisis in Flint. Mari has continued to fight for clean water and has raised funds to support kids in need across the country. —Created by Hillel Steinberg via @Flickr CC by 2.0

3. Naomi Wadler (Anti-Gun Activist)
In 2018, Naomi Wadler led an eighteen-minute walkout at her elementary school in support of the March For Our Lives protests that were happening around the country. This protest represented the seventeen victims of the Parkland school shooting and the one African American girl who was a victim of gun violence at her school in Alabama. She later spoke in front of a massive crowd at the March For Our Lives rally In Washington, DC, and asked the country to remember the Black women and girls who are victims of gun violence, but who are often left out of newspapers. —Naomi WadlerTribeca Disruptive Innovation, CC BY-SA 3.0  via Wikimedia Commons

4. Marley Dias (Author & Activist)
In 2015, Marley Dias founded the campaign #1000BlackGirlBooks because she couldn’t find books where the main character looked like her. That had to change. She set up a book drive and a goal of collecting one thousand books where the main protagonist was female and Black. Since then, she’s expanded her efforts internationally and has written books herself. —Marley Dias by WBLS 107.5 NYC, CC by 3.0

5. Yara Shahidi (Actress & Activist)
Yara Shahidi may be a household name because of her recurring role on Black-ish and Grown-ish, but it’s her time away from the set that’s perhaps propelled her into an even bigger spotlight. From getting young people out to vote through her Eighteen x 18 initiative or speaking out on social justice issues, she’s using her star power to make a difference. —Yara Shahidi ColliderVideo, CC by 3.0, via Wikimedia Commons

 

This post originally appeared on Xyza: News for Kids.
Photo: Wikimedia commons
Joann Suen & Sapna Satagopan
Tinybeans Voices Contributor

We're two perfectly imperfect moms who have five very different kids between the two of us. We believe that topics in news are a fantastic way to spark conversations in families. That's why we started the Dinner Table Conversation series here at Xyza: News for Kids. Won't you join us in the conversation? 

Books are the perfect baby shower gift because they will be enjoyed for many years after the child is born. They will spark baby’s love for reading because so many new books are designed to capture little imaginations. Research has found that reading to a baby can improve communication, introduce words and concepts, and build listening, memory, and vocabulary skills. Even though young babies won’t understand everything that they’re hearing, reading to them provides a bonding experience and allows them to learn more about the world. Here is a list of books that we at Stratford School love for baby showers.

For the Feminist Mom: Baby Feminists Written by Libby Babbott-Klein and Illustrated by Jessica Walker This lift-the-flap board book is irresistible to our youngest ones because it is full of babies! It is a great way for parents to introduce some of the most inspiring, trailblazing female change-makers of our time in a whimsical way. It is whimsical, which makes it less intimidating and more fun. Gloria Steinem, Frida Kahlo and Malala are some of the featured women in this engaging introduction to feminism. A sure hit that will make you laugh while learning about history.

New Take on an Old Classic: Tomorrow Most Likely Written by Dave Eggers, Illustrated by Lane Smith Parents love to read a book to their children at bedtime. There is no better time to bond with your child while helping them calm down from a day full of activities.  Award-winning author Dave Eggers’ brand-new bedtime book doesn’t focus on going to bed. This book explores all of the dreamy, wonderful, exciting things that the next day might bring. This book is quite possibly a modern version of “Goodnight Moon” that makes going to bed more fun! What could happen tomorrow? Maybe we should go to sleep to find out! The unusual but beautiful illustrations will keep even the youngest children interested until the very end of the book. Parents can conclude with a talk about what their own family has planned for the following day.

Light, Cute and Funny: Everything is Mama Written by Jimmy Fallon, Illustrated by Miguel Ordóñez Cute is the only way to describe this second baby book by comedian Jimmy Fallon. As a follow-up to his very popular Your Baby’s First Word Will be DADA, this book is quite similar in st‌yle. Our youngest readers love repetition; they thrive on hearing the words over and over. This book has few words but does repeat them in a way that may just have a youngster saying, “Mama!” Ending with a heartwarming message about how mamas feel about their babies, this book will delight adults and children alike.

A Multicultural Read: Mixed: A Colorful Story by Arree Chung This masterfully written children’s book is illustrated with powerful metaphors for social justice that are easily relatable to our youngest readers. With a very simple plot, the author makes it fun, accessible, and easy to understand. The bravery of two main characters to defy their community’s segregation by color (red, blue, and yellow), results not only in the creation of a new color, green, but transforms their town into something amazing. A great way for children to learn about colors while getting an introduction to inclusion and diversity.

We hope these books will make great gifts and happy reading!

Keira Pride is the Head Librarian at Stratford School, the leading independent private school founded with a vision of creating a unique, multi-dimensional, educational foundation for children. As Stratford's Head Librarian, she manages the library services department across campuses throughout Northern and Southern California. 

If you thought Pixar’s Bao was moving, wait until you see the how the newest Pixar short, Purl, “weaves” an empowering message on feminism and women at work.

Any woman that’s ever felt out of place in a male-dominated workplace can relate to what short film’s star is going through. Purl is a pink ball of yarn and struggles to fit in at her new job where she is the only female—and yarn ball. Though she changes herself to get along with the “bros” in her office, she eventually discovers that she doesn’t have to set aside her femininity to be accepted.

“My first job, I was like the only woman in the room, and so in order to do the thing that I loved, I sort of became one of the guys,”director Kristen Lester told Polygon. “And then I came to Pixar, and I started to work on teams with women for the first time, and that actually made me realize how much of the female aspect of myself I had sort of buried and left behind.”

Purl is the first release to come out of Pixar’s new SparkShorts Program, which was created to highlight new storytellers and explore new storytelling techniques. The program has also produced another short, Smash & Grab (a robot love story). Kitbull, a short about a pitbull and a kitten, is launching soon. More SparkShorts will be available to watch on Disney’s new streaming service, Disney+, when it launches later this year.

—Shahrzad Warkentin

Featured photo: Disney Pixar via YouTube

 

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How to Make Your Own Delicious Dumplings from Pixar’s Adorable New Short, “Bao”