ML Interest Tag: fertility

How to Cope with Pregnancy Loss

By Josephine Atluri

When the unthinkable happens and you lose a pregnancy and your unborn child, the grief is indescribable. Somehow the experience allows a simultaneous heaviness and emptiness to coexist within your being. While pregnancy loss is heartbreaking, there are added layers of complexity that make the loss so much more devastating and thereby harder to share.

So often, women tie their identity and self-worth with their ability to conceive and carry a child to term especially when infertility plays a role in the journey. Women who experience pregnancy loss grapple with failure as an inherent part of the process. When I lost my twins during the second trimester, I felt as if my body failed me and I failed my babies and my husband. A woman who is dealing with a pregnancy loss is not only grieving the loss of the child she never had the pleasure of knowing and the loss of her expectations and dreams but also dealing with their tortured sense of self-worth.

For many months after my loss, I lacked any desire to return back to the real world and preferred the comfort of my bed in my darkened room, which matched the dark emptiness I felt inside. It can feel impossible to fathom the idea of one day climbing out of this black hole of sadness. Take comfort in knowing that this “someday” will eventually make its way to you when you are ready. Below are some nuggets of wisdom from my own experience with loss and how I have coached my fertility mindfulness clients dealing with their own struggles through pregnancy loss.

1. Give Yourself Permission. Allow yourself space and time to heal. There is no set timeframe in which you need to move on. Do what you need to do for yourself during your time of grief and detach from the pressure to “get better” based on other people’s timelines and expectations. You do not owe anyone an explanation for your grief and recovery process.

2. Seek Support. There are days when we are okay with the isolation and then there are days when we need a helping hand to save us from the sadness.  During those moments, reach out to your support group in whatever form that may be for you—your partner, therapy, online groups/communities, friends, and family. Support groups, whether in person or online, are a great way to remind you that you are not alone and someone out there understands what you are going through. If you are going through secondary infertility, a hug from your child can be powerful enough to break down the walls you have built around yourself and envelop you in love.

3. Honor & Acknowledge Your Pregnancy and Baby. You don’t have to get through it quicker just because you were “only pregnant for X number of weeks” or because you “already have X number of children.” If it helps you through your process of grief, find a way to honor your pregnancy and baby. Perhaps share your story to raise awareness and help end the stigma of pregnancy and infant loss.

4. Manage Triggers & Set Boundaries. It’s okay to say no to anyone and anything that could trigger you. Your mental and emotional well-being is fragile so give yourself permission to set boundaries on things like social media, gatherings, certain friends, and family. If you need help doing this, enlist your partner in this important task. If you are going through secondary infertility and lose your pregnancy, people can sometimes say insensitive comments about the fact that you already have a child. Remember that just because you have a child, your loss is no less significant and should not be diminished. In these instances, set boundaries for what people can say to you and ask your partner to help ensure this need is met. No one has the right to justify how you should feel or what you should do.

5. Get Distracted. Consider going away whether it’s for a quick drive or a long weekend. Other people find it helpful to take up a hobby that requires focus and allows for personal growth. Take little steps in your grief process as you start to do other things. These distractions can help stop the cycle of negativity and despair in which you are trapped. Returning back to your role whether in work or in family life can give you a purpose outside of your fertility and feeling defined only by your quest to have a child.

6. Take Back Control. If you need some form of control to help ease the overwhelming nature of your situation, one way to take back some semblance of control is to come up with a plan. Work with your medical team to evaluate what happened, and to discuss options and next steps. Knowing that you have a defined road map can help to ease a bit of the stress and anxiety that is a part of your loss. Another way to feel like you are in control of your situation is to use breathing techniques to help you move your state of mind and body from a state of stress to a state of calm. For example, do a 16-second breath count —4 seconds each—inhale, hold, exhale, hold. Repeat as necessary.

If you are in the process of grief right now, please remember that this loss is not your fault. You are worthy and capable and so very brave. As you grieve your loss in silence, take all the time you need to heal your mental and emotional well-being. All of your feelings are valid and worthy of being fully expressed. One day, when the time is right for you, hope will make its way back to you. Until then, know that you are not alone.  I see you and I am so sorry for your loss.

My passion is helping others overcome adversity to find joy via meditation training and my podcast “Responding to Life.” I draw upon my unique fertility journey of pregnancy loss, IVF, international adoption and surrogacy, ultimately becoming a mother of five, to show others the power of perseverance, calm and courage.

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IVF: The Second Time Around

By Lauren Johnson

When James and I were first trying to conceive, I was a bundle of nerves, crying at every turn, especially when getting pregnant didn’t go how I had (meticulously) planned it. We stopped using contraception and proceeded to “try” for the next year. When about 14 months had passed and I still wasn’t pregnant at the time of my next gynecologist appointment, I asked what we should do. She referred us to a few fertility specialists in the area. I was devastated. It wasn’t supposed to be like that. We had been so careful to make sure we didn’t get pregnant before we were ready, I hadn’t considered it might be a challenge once we were ready.

Despite fertility treatments becoming more and more common and hearing extended family members’ stories, I felt ashamed about my inability to conceive.  I had been open with friends about wanting to start a family, but now that we were possibly not going to be able to, I shut down. I stopped talking with my family as often. Whenever friends asked how it was going, I brushed it off with a “hasn’t happened yet…” and changed the subject. It took six months before I was finally ready to pick up the phone and schedule an appointment with the specialist. It was another month before they could fit us in as a new patient.  We were finally ready to take action and we jumped in with some initial testing before two failed rounds of IUI.

Our infertility wasn’t fully explained, but the test results and failed IUIs were enough for our doctor to recommend and our insurance to support moving on to IVF. We were so incredibly lucky. Despite the heartache of the two prior years and the misery of hope, month after month, our first IVF cycle resulted in three healthy embryos. Transferring our first one resulted in implantation, pregnancy, and finally the birth of our daughter. Then, 18 months later, we were ready to do it all over again with a second embryo transfer, in hopes of another child to join our family.

There was such a relief in starting this process a second time since it worked for us the first time. I know there are no guarantees that it will work the second time around or even the third, but since we were able to have Louise, I know it’s possible. I empathize with all families who continue to struggle to conceive. We were lucky our pain of not being able to conceive only lasted a year or two, but the worry that it wouldn’t work the next time still lives on.  Despite that strain, I’m more optimistic than before about our hopes to create the family we want.

Six Months Later

It’s ironic to read back the first half of this post having drafted it months apart. I was full of optimism for our future and a new hope to move on from the struggles of infertility. We underwent a frozen embryo transfer several months ago and the long story short is that it didn’t take. We’re not expecting. After an update consultation with the same doctor who helped us have Louise, we followed a very similar protocol of medication, tests, and timing leading up to the transfer. A week into the 10-day wait to find out if it worked, I turned to James that evening and told him I didn’t think it had worked. Call it women’s intuition; call it a 50-50 guess that turned out to be right, but I just knew it wasn’t happening that time. Unfortunately, that didn’t ease the knot tightening in my stomach when the doctor finally did call to confirm the result.

That night and the days that followed, I cried just as hard as when it didn’t take with the IUIs or naturally. But I didn’t cry as long. I am constantly reminded by Louise’s infectious laughter that it has worked once. We will hopefully be fortunate again. It may work next time. It may not. In accepting the grief that comes from each failed attempt, I’m better able to pick myself up and move forward. I am present with family and friends, pursuing other passions, all while acknowledging the tiny ball of hope in the back of my brain saying it will work again one day.

 

This post originally appeared on Happy Optimizing.

Hi!  I’m Lauren, a recent convert from professional career-woman to stay-at-home mom and wife.

Why waste time on the mundane if it can be done more efficiently and you can get back to the fun parts of life? I hope these posts help you save time and money.

Happy Optimizing! 

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Surviving the Unimaginable

By Melissa Christopher

When I sat down to write our story, I didn’t know quite where to begin. The feelings and emotions are still very raw. 

In July of 2016, my husband and I were blessed with a beautiful, healthy, and incredible baby boy. As our son grew, we knew this was a life that we had been blessed to have. We couldn’t imagine our life without our son. When our son turned two years old, we wanted nothing more than to add to our family and give our son the sibling he deserved to have.

This journey to another baby was not like our first. After two years of trying on our own, we decided to seek the advice and the help of a fertility doctor. We fell in love with our fertility doctor from the moment we met with her, and we knew we would be in good hands. We decided to start with a less invasive approach and tried Intrauterine insemination (IUI). Well, after two failed IUI attempts, we were left with that same feeling of being discouraged that we knew all too well. What was next for us?

Well, COVID-19 hit, and that was when our fertility journey was put on hold for a little bit. It wasn’t until the summertime that we decided to go through In vitro fertilization (IVF) after speaking with our fertility doctor. I was scared and upset that we needed to get to this point to conceive a baby. This reaffirmed to me more than ever that our son was a miracle. With all of that, I put on my big girl pants and didn’t look back. My poor husband was injecting me with shots every night while my son stood by and held my hand. He didn’t know what was happening but wanted to be supportive and with his mommy. It was in November that I had my first embryo retrieval. When I was leaving the surgical center, the doctor was hopeful and told me that she was able to get seven follicles. I was elated! Seven follicles meant that there could be seven embryos. Which would mean we had seven chances at having a baby.

That evening, the nurse called to let me know that only 1 of those follicles had made it. I couldn’t help but cry. All of those nights of injections for one follicle just made me start to lose hope. The nurse informed me that the doctor would be in touch in a few weeks to ensure that this embryo had passed all genetic testing.

I was so anxious waiting for that phone call. Then one afternoon in November, that call finally came. Our fertility doctor called to let me know that we had one embryo, and it passed all the genetic testing. She asked me if I wanted to know the gender of the embryo, and of course, I couldn’t wait. It was a girl! I immediately hung up and called my husband to tell him the news. We were set for our embryo transfer on December 23rd. This was the Christmas miracle I had dreamed about. I went for early morning monitoring on January 1, 2021, and it was that morning, I found out that I was pregnant. My husband and I were beyond excited and couldn’t believe that we would be parents to our beautiful son and now a baby girl. We talked about all of the fun experiences we would have as parents to both a boy and a girl. We felt like our dream was coming true…until it wasn’t.

At the next appointment, my husband had to wait in the waiting room due to the COVID-19 protocols. I asked if they could use the doppler to hear the heartbeat. She obliged, but when she struggled to hear the heartbeat, she ushered me into the ultrasound room. Naively I thought, at least I will get to go home with some pictures of our baby girl to share with our family and friends. At this point, I was 15 weeks and four days. As I looked up on the screen during the ultrasound, I realized something wasn’t right. The ultrasound technician told me she was going to get the doctor. 

In that instant, I texted my husband that something was wrong. The doctor came in to tell me that they couldn’t find the heartbeat. I insisted they needed to do an internal exam to get a better view. How could that be? The doctor assured me that it wasn’t necessary and that the baby was measuring two weeks smaller than predicted. At that moment, I, too, felt lifeless. The doctor brought my husband back to me, where we both just sobbed. We had worked so hard to get to this point and now our dreams of our little family of four were shattered. Our two-hour drive home felt like 10 hours. I just cried as my husband held my hand and assured me that everything would be alright. We drove right to my parents’ house to pick up our son, who immediately knew something wasn’t right. We explained to him that there wasn’t a baby in mommy’s belly anymore. He immediately hugged me and told me, “It’s alright, mommy, the baby is in heaven now. She will be our angel to protect us!” What a smart little boy. 

Somehow the wise words of a 5-year-old and his bear-hugging hug were all I needed to help comfort me through our loss. I don’t know what is next for our family, if we try again or if we continue to be blessed with our beautiful family of three. This loss has made me even more grateful for my husband, my son, and our family and friends who have been there for us. I am now part of 1 in every 4 women who suffer from a miscarriage. We are strong. We are brave. We survived the unimaginable.

RELATED STORIES:
How to Support a Mama Grieving Her Miscarriage
Miscarriage: A Story of Hope

Melissa Christopher
Tinybeans Voices Contributor

My name is Melissa. I am a mom to an incredible 5 year old boy. My husband, my son, and I live in the same town that I grew up in. In those 5 years of being a mom, I have learned a lot about myself and can't wait to share it with you. 

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What This Nutrition Expert Is Doing to Prepare for TTC

By Tammy Chang

Photo: Agni

Growing up, I was significantly influenced by the diet culture of the 80s. The message was to eat a low-fat diet and exercise like crazy, so I mostly followed this advice. Like so many women, I had a conflicting relationship with food, especially around how much I should be eating. I had stomach issues as a child, specifically an undiagnosed overabundance of H. pylori bacteria, and never seemed to get proper help. As I got older, I realized that I was being given a band-aid solution to my problems and took the initiative by booking a health coach.

My Healthy Healing Journey
I started my journey with my health coach at 23 and began cooking more for myself. Every couple of weeks, I would talk to her about what kinds of foods I should be experimenting with within the kitchen. Our conversations together launched me into genuine interest and curiosity for nutrition and that is where my career journey began. Through my health coach, my nutrition studies at Bauman College, and my apprenticeship at Three Stone Hearth; I learned so much—about blood sugar regulation, the importance of combining macronutrients for blood sugar balance, the bioavailability of nutrients, the world of food sensitivities and so much more. I even found out that I had food sensitivities that were utterly new to me! I also learned fun tricks like how to soak nuts and grains, make fantastic bone broth, and build beautiful meals. After this experience, I came out feeling more confident and open to new ways of cooking and healing. I thought, “Wow!,” having a job where you can advise people about living a healthy life was real. Most importantly, I realized that healthy food is delicious, nourishing, and a priority for healthy living.

Nutrition & TTC
The process of trying to conceive (TTC) and get pregnant has been really interesting; it made me dive deeper into my own hormones and my menstrual cycle and remember that our bodies are HUNGRY. It needs nutrients and healthy habits to function correctly. Hormones are quite sensitive, and many things can throw them off. It was helpful to learn what my menstrual cycle should be doing and how to track my cycle beyond just counting days.

I learned I had to support my luteal phase (the phase after ovulation), which was too short. For me, that means that it was likely my progesterone was low, which may hinder my chance of maintaining pregnancy if I happened to conceive. Fertility is a sign of health, and your body needs everything to be healthy. Eating a variety of whole foods and eating with the seasons can help.

To support my luteal phase, I wanted to make sure that I could detox any excess estrogen. This means lots of fiber! I eat lots of long-cooked beans and lentils made with bone broth, which also doubles as providing folate. I drink liver-supportive teas with burdock, dandelion root, and chicory since excess estrogen is eliminated through the liver. I’m also eating healthy fats, including olive oil, fish, and avocado. Additionally, I’m eating lots of veggies, both for fiber and antioxidants. For all of my meals, I aim to have vegetables on half of my plate, even for breakfast! I have also been taking a whole foods-based prenatal vitamin to make sure my bases are covered.

Recently I had blood labs that tested my thyroid, and there was evidence that my thyroid hormones were low functioning, and I tested positive, although low, for thyroid antibodies. That means that my body is creating antibodies to my thyroid tissue, and I’m at risk for hypothyroidism in the future. As a result, I’ve gone gluten-free for the last six months and have seen my thyroid antibodies decrease. Thyroid hormones and sex hormones are intricately linked. Progesterone enhances thyroid hormone sensitivity while estrogen blunts it. Going gluten-free forced me to start eating more nutrient-dense foods, which was a great repercussion. Not having bread forces me to eat more nutrient-dense carbohydrates, like brown rice, legumes, or sweet potatoes. To eat less sugar, I try to substitute with more fruits or dried fruits, but there’s also nothing wrong with a treat now and then! We want to keep an eye on sugar, partly because overeating sugary foods will crowd out more healthful ones.

Be Kind to Yourself
Stress has been a major factor in this pandemic, and TTC can add another layer. One way that we can help counteract the effects of stress and aid our absorption of nutrients is to eat mindfully. The more we blast through our meals while we are distracted, the worse we digest, the less we absorb, and the worse we feel. We want to chew our food carefully to absorb all our nutrients and be relaxed when we eat to be able to digest properly. Making sure we tap into our parasympathetic mode (the rest and digest mode) throughout the day is helpful not only for digesting but also for conceiving. It’s great practice.

Sleep is another aspect of my life that has changed, partly due to the pandemic. I fall asleep and rise much earlier than in the past, and it’s been fantastic. Sleep is so incredibly vital. I have also found that acupuncture has been beneficial for my stress levels and I’ve enjoyed going on a weekly basis. I have been working with an acupuncturist who specializes in fertility since it has been recently documented as helpful for fertility.

TTC can be an emotional roller coaster, and it’s hard not to want more from your own body. Being compassionate and gentle is helpful, and it’s important to remind yourself that this year has been especially challenging. I encourage women everywhere to truly listen to their bodies and most importantly, be kind to it.

RELATED: 9 Smart Strategies for a Healthier Pregnancy

Tammy Chang, Certified Nutrition Consultant, Author, and Founder of The Nourished Belly (https://www.thenourishedbelly.com/), holistic health coaching, and Agni Medical Advisory Board Member. Tammy supports her clients with a comprehensive approach to health that emphasizes food, cooking, movement, and other lifest‌yle behaviors.

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New Survey Reveals What It’s Really Like Trying to Conceive

by Erica Loop

A recent survey of more than 1,000 Americans found that 40 percent of hopefully soon-to-be parents believe more resources or support would have helped them in their fertility struggles.

The survey, which was collected by OnePoll for Clearblue’s #Conceivinghood campaign, also found that 15 percent of TTC parents say their journey to a baby, “has been a struggle.” Of the parents polled, 32 percent also believe the struggle to conceive is too awkward to talk about—with 10 percent admitting they hadn’t told anyone about their fertility issues.

photo: Nappy via Pexels

OnePoll and Clearblue ranked the top 10 list of “What’s it like trying to conceive?” The answers were:

“Exciting” – 41%
“Fun” – 41%
“Sexy” – 37%
“Stressful” – 25%
“Impersonal” – 20%
“Boring” – 18%
“Repetitive” – 17%
“Frustrating” – 17%
“Upsetting” – 15%
“Difficult” – 12%

Dr. Fiona Clancy, R&D Senior Director, Swiss Precision Diagnostics, said in a press release, “Society always talks about motherhood, fatherhood and parenthood, but there’s a blind spot when it comes to discussing that delicate stage of trying for a baby.”

Along with the survey responses, OnePoll also asked the TTC parents about their individual perspectives on fertility and the road to parenthood. One participant said, “It takes time, especially for non-traditional families. It feels like you are alone in a world of people who have it easy and complain about problems when they don’t understand how easy they have it. But hold on because there are others of us out there.”

—Erica Loop

 

RELATED STORIES

Why Don’t Men Talk about Infertility?

How It Feels to Finally Have A Baby After A Long Struggle With Infertility

Mom of 5 & Infertility Survivor Gives Woman the Ultimate Gift—So She Can Be a Mom, Too

 

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Elle King & Dan Tooker Announce Pregnancy

by Erica Loop

Grammy-nominated performer Elle King is pregnant! The singer and fiance Dan Tooker recently revealed their baby news on Instagram and in a PEOPLE exclusive.

The road to the couple’s soon-to-be baby joy hasn’t been easy. King, who has polycystic ovary syndrome (PCOS), struggled with infertility and pregnancy loss.

King opened up about her fertility issues and subsequent pregnancy losses in PEOPLE saying, “It’s such a major thing that so many people go through, but it’s so secretive—like you have to go through it alone.” The singer added, “Nobody talks about it. It’s like you’re supposed to feel shame; like you’re not supposed to tell people before 12 weeks, because if you lose it, it’s going to be embarrassing for you and you don’t want other people to get their hopes up.”

The couple found out about King’s pregnancy on Christmas, but only recently announced the news publicly. King started her IG announcement with, “Well, we did something! Me and @tattooker made a little human!”

She went on to add, “We are very excited to share the news that we are pregnant. This news comes with a great deal of fear, and I hope that all mothers-to-be, in whatever sense that may be, know that I am trying to be very sensitive. You see, this miracle baby comes after two very big losses. It’s a terrifying and extremely painful experience for everyone. But the sun always rises, and I never really let go to let the universe decide when I was ready. I remember every pregnancy announcement felt like a dagger to me. So I want to be very delicate and say to YOU! That soon to be mom, who’s maybe had a loss, or has been struggling with fertility, I’m telling you, our babies come. And I love you.”

King continued with a shout out to other women who have gone through similar struggles, “What women go through on this journey make us nothing less than WARRIORS. So thank you for your prayers and love for our high risk pregnancy!”

Congrats go out to King and Tooker on their beautiful baby news!

—Erica Loop

Featured photo: agwilson / Shutterstock.com

 

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Struggling with Fertility? It May Be Time to Assess Your Stress Level

By Dr. Wael Salem

The effect of stress on our health has become a major topic of conversation over the last few decades because our lives are continuously becoming more stressful. We live in a society that values ‘busyness,’ and believes that success is tied to action.

This is one of many reasons that makes navigating fertility challenges so stressful. We work so hard at it, invest so much energy, time, and money—we expect success because that is what we’ve been conditioned to expect. So, when pregnancy doesn’t happen and we feel we are doing everything we can, we begin to feel powerless. This lack of control can be frustrating and difficult.

Enter STRESS. Decades of research on the associations between stress and infertility have made this connection well-known and accepted. Encouragingly, there is as much data that suggests that mind-body practices can effectively reduce stress, mitigate the infertility experience, and perhaps even enhance reproductive outcomes.

As Maté outlines in “When the Body Says No: Understanding the Stress-Disease Connection,” stress can be characterized as having four major causes: 1) lack of control, 2) uncertainty, 3) emotional isolation, and 4) inability to express emotions (2003). If you’ve had or are experiencing fertility challenges, you’re probably nodding your head thinking that these stressors pretty well sum up a life with infertility. When you’re told to relax, this often has the opposite effect, increasing the stress response. We are often left without the knowledge or tools to deal with stress. Also, the situations that cause stress will not go away and tend to cycle monthly.

If these stressors are inherent to the fertility journey and cannot be reduced, how can you minimize stress so you can support your fertility efforts? The prescription of staying stress-free, although based in truth, is extremely over-simplified and almost impossible. The good news is that we can control the way we deal with stress and the effects that it has on the body. We can periodically take our bodies out of the stress response and into the relaxation response. But first, we need to be able to identify stress in our bodies. Let’s break down the three stages of stress, known as the General Adaptation Syndrome, as described by Hans Seyle:

  • Alarm. When our bodies are in stress response, our body sends us warning signals that things are getting out of control. These warning signals can wear a variety of faces: a) physical – headaches, insomnia, loss of appetite or binge eating, teeth grinding; b) behavioral – alcohol or drug abuse, compulsiveness, restlessness; c) emotional – aggression, irritability, frequent crying; d) cognitive – impaired concentration, judgmental thoughts, racing mind, blaming, and distortions in thoughts like all or nothing thinking, or jumping to irrational conclusions.
  • Resistance. This is when the alarms are going off, but we choose to ignore them.
  • Exhaustion. After ignoring the symptoms, our bodies take control and slam on the brakes. This usually comes in the form of falling ill as our immune systems are compromised from being in heightened stress response for too long.

Once you’re able to identify stress, you can begin coming up with a stress management plan to help combat it. The three “A’s of Change” can be a useful framework to begin:

  • Awareness. Become aware of your warning signs. What are your alarm bells? Behavioral, Cognitive, Physical, Emotional?
  • Acceptance. Acceptance does not mean giving in. Recognizing and accepting is key to moving on. By saying, “I am sad, and sadness is a normal human response. It’s ok,” we acknowledge the warning signals and can begin to process our stress.
  • Action. This is the step that is often the hardest because it involves changing our old habits. Rather than reaching for a bottle of wine or the TV remote, find what brings you genuine ease (often bringing the attention inward). List a few options that you can follow to deal with the stress: take a bath, go for a walk, take a restorative yoga class, meditate, or simply stop and breathe deeply. Be preemptive in your action–when you know you have a particularly stressful procedure or appointment coming up, begin a few days before to deep breathe, meditate, and visualize positive outcomes.

Ask yourself (and be honest with yourself), do you take the time needed to increase your relaxation with mind-body practices? If your honest answer is no and you think you need a little help or motivation, start looking for that support. Find nice short walks in nature nearby and locate restorative or fertility yoga classes. Find classes online for meditation or yoga and schedule this time into your calendar. Make a promise to yourself to do it, and don’t break that promise. Relaxation takes practice – it’s not as easy as saying, “I am now going to be a relaxed person.” Just like any other skill, this takes time and commitment to make it part of your life. You can’t expect to relax on cue after spending weeks, months, or years in a state of chronic stress.

And finally, let’s reframe our view on relaxation from ‘doing nothing’ and make it more accessible to our ‘doing’ mindset. You are doing something profound, nurturing, and supportive of your fertility that does not involve huge amounts of money, medication, time, or energy. Relaxation is a proactive activity to support your fertility that you can control. You are preparing your body to be as receptive as possible to whatever measures you are taking to conceive.

This post originally appeared on CCRM Blog.

Dr. Wael Salem is Board Certified in Obstetrics and Gynecology and is Board Eligible in Reproductive Endocrinology. His interests include fertility for cancer patients, PCOS, fertility preservation (egg freezing) and preimplantation genetic testing for hereditary genetic diseases. Dr. Salem joined CCRM Minneapolis in 2018.

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Tiny Birth Stories: Joyful Endings of IVF Success

by Danielle Rizzo

Our new series, Tiny Birth Stories, is aimed at sharing real-life stories from our readers to our readers. In just 100 words or less, we’re bringing you the raw, the funny and the heartwarming stories you’ve lived while bringing babies into the world. Here are five stories that will have you laughing, crying and nodding your head in solidarity. 

Interested in telling your birth story? Click here.

How Salt N’ Peppa helped me “push” him out by Jen T

After 7 years of “unexplained infertility” we finally had success with IVF. Due to preeclampsia I was induced at 37 weeks. Everything was going smoothly until the power went out in the hospital. During this time I started to feel nauseous and started throwing up and getting the shakes. Soon after, the power came back on and it was time to push. My baby’s heart rate was spiking so more nurses rushed in while the music I had playing coincidently started Salt N Peppa’s, Push It. This motivated me to get him out quick and that’s what we did.

The hardest 2 and a half years of my life by Joann C

After 15 months of silently struggling and a diagnosis of PCOS we reached out to a Fertility Specialist. We went through 3 medicated IUI’s before we moved onto IVF where we got pregnant on our 3rd round. Fast forward 8 months and I was admitted to the hospital and told I wouldn’t be leaving until I had my baby. After 30 hours of labor my doctor decided to perform a C-Section. At 28 years old and my first pregnancy I was scared and had zero time to prepare. This was happening! Our baby was born 15 minutes later and is now a happy, healthy toddler. It was the hardest 2.5 years of my life to get pregnant but if it comes down to having to go through every shot, medication, test and tear there’s no doubt in my mind that I would do it all again!

Success by the numbers by Amoreena A

Numbers can be cold but can also bring clarity. 2: babies I was carrying after IVF 25: weeks I was pregnant when Baby B’s water broke 31: days I was on hospital bed rest when Baby A’s foot protruded out of my body and caused an emergency c-section 78: days we spent in the NICU teaching these boys to eat 109: combined days we spent at the hospital while also caring for our 2-year old 2,836: days since my boys entered the world prematurely and I wouldn’t trade any of it for the world

IVF was meant to be for us by Tania A

“Ask me again in 5 years” – our standard answer from day 1of marriage. Seven years later it was a tired song, especially after TTC for two years. After multiple tests, ultrasounds, and shots pursuing IVF we were finally expecting! Our sweet baby made our hearts grow beyond measure, and her frozen brothers joined us less than 2years later. The pain of not being able to conceive naturally and the un-needed sensitivity to others’ critical opinion of IVF will always stay with us but our children are blessings that remind us our IVF was meant to be!

How we are now living our dream by Samantha M

Our story begins with a dream. My wife, Megan, and I always wanted children. We were married in 2007 after dating for 2 years. We started the process of trying to have children in 2013. We first interviewed different fertility doctors, got information from our insurance company on what would be covered and started looking for the best cryobank. With the support of family and friends we made our decision on all of the variables needed and started with intrauterine insemination, IUI. After tracking cycles, many doctors appointments and 2 IUI attempts, we were told our levels showed we were pregnant. Unfortunately, a few weeks later we miscarried what we had found out had been twins. Following that loss we had another 2 cycles and drove the miles that are the equivalent of driving from our home in NJ to CA. Finally we had our rainbow baby, our son Maxwell. Twenty two months later, after only one cycle of IUI, we celebrated the birth of our daughter, Matilda. Our children have been our biggest accomplishment.

When Your Expecting Plans Take an Unexpected Turn

By Dr. Wael Salem

There was a time just a few months ago, before our world knew anything about COVID-19, when you may have decided to start trying to have a baby. Or, maybe you fall into the 1 in 8 couples experiencing infertility and had gathered the courage to embark on your fertility journey. Either way, your initial excitement to start a pregnancy was then shaken by resounding uncertainty with the emergence of the COVID-19 pandemic.

In mass, couples and individuals took to the Internet to ask, “What does the coronavirus do to my pregnancy?” Meanwhile, the news cycles were churning out what feels like an encyclopedic volume of medical literature. “No effect in pregnancy” turned into “Possible vertical transmission,” a few days later. In the midst of this never-ending news, women everywhere were scrolling and clicking endlessly to find an answer to, “Is it safe for me to get pregnant now?”

While it’s great to be informed about your pregnancy, it is an unfair burden for you as a patient and expecting mother to aggregate and distill all the new research being published. Furthermore, it’s very possible that it’s leading to increased stress, anxiety, and possibly even despair as you try to get pregnant. Ultimately, it’s our job as physicians to stay current and appropriately distill fact from fiction and theories from the simply unknown. The expert teams of the American College of Obstetricians and Gynecologists (ACOG) and the American Society of Reproductive Medicine (ASRM) have been working tirelessly to synthesize the relevant pregnancy and fertility data so that individuals aren’t left with that burden.

While we are still learning how COVID-19 affects pregnancy, what we know so far, on the whole, is reassuring. First, pregnant women do not appear to have more severe complications of COVID-19. The literature does not suggest a consistent transmission from an infected mother to her baby. Next, it’s too early to definitively say if there is any risk to the fetus if it were to become infected, but it does not appear to be the case.  Finally, no medical organization or society has recommended against initiating a pregnancy in and of itself. 

It’s known with near certainty that this pandemic is causing a lot of anxiety about getting pregnant. Controlling that anxiety, stress, and uncertainty is a part of your fertility journey in which you have a tremendous amount of power. To decompress, meditating for five minutes is a great way to start or end your day. Acupuncture and massage are excellent methods for stress reduction once they become available. If you continue to feel overwhelmed, talk with your doctor or mental health provider. At CCRM Fertility, we’ve developed a series of videos on CCRM TV that offer pregnancy preparedness education. We know this is a really difficult time for all, and our goal is to be a resource for patients.

Fortunately, those lifestyle habits that are beneficial for your pregnancy haven’t changed with COVID-19. For starters, take care of yourself. Get plenty of high-quality sleep. Focus on eating healthy, whole foods. Continue to exercise regularly. Avoid smoking and alcohol. Meanwhile, continue to follow all the usual precautions to avoid the coronavirus (including washing hands often, avoid touching your face, wear a mask in public, etc.). Finally, leave the unending ebbs and flows of news and talk to your healthcare provider. They have gladly done the research for you.

I am Board Certified in Obstetrics and Gynecology and Board Eligible in Reproductive Endocrinology. Like all CCRM Fertility physicians, I believe in providing people who want a family with the very best chance to do so. My interests include fertility for cancer patients, PCOS, fertility preservation (egg freezing) and preimplantation genetic testing for hereditary genetic diseases. 

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