From Biddy Mason to environmental activist Aurora Castillo, these LA women will inspire you

In honor of March being Women’s History Month, we’re taking a look back at the bold and accomplished female trailblazers who have helped shape Los Angeles. From the 1890s to today, these formidable women have broken barriers and been integral in making LA, and beyond, what it is today. Read on for a mini history less, plus major inspiration.

Biddy Mason

Born into slavery in 1818, Biddy Mason eventually ended up in California, a non-slave state, where Mason was able to fight and win her freedom in 1856. After settling in Los Angeles, she worked as a nurse and midwife, and eventually purchased an acre of land in what is not Downtown LA. She went on to buy more land and properties throughout Los Angeles, accumulating wealth, which she donated to numerous charities, and used to feed and shelter the poor. 

To learn more about Biddy Mason, visit the Biddy Mason Memorial Park, which features a memorial and timeline of her life at the site of her original homestead. 

333 Spring St.
DTLA
Online: laconservancy.org

Clara Shortridge Foltz

Public domain

If you've ever received a jury summon in LA, then the name Clara Shortridge Foltz may sound familiar. The criminal courthouse located downtown is known as The Clara Shortridge Foltz Criminal Justice Center, named for the first female lawyer on the West Coast, a crusader for public defenders (in a time before they even existed), and California’s first female deputy district attorney. According to a piece in the California Bar Journal, Foltz also "sued for entrance into California’s only law school, tried cases in court when women were not allowed to serve on juries and played a key role in winning women’s suffrage in California 100 years ago."

Amelia Earhart

The U.S. National Archives

Although Amelia Earhart grew up mostly in the midwest, she took her first flight (as a passenger) out of Long Beach in 1920. She went on to take flying lessons near Long Beach and in 1923 receive her pilot's license, making her the 16th woman in the U.S. to do so. She famously went on to become the first woman to fly solo across the Atlantic, and subsequently wrote books and articles on flying and lectured on the subject. During the years leading up to her fateful flight, Earhart lived her husband in Toluca Lake, and often flew out of Grand Central Air Terminal in Glendale and what is today's Bob Hope Airport in Burbank.

Anna May Wong

Public domain

Born in 1905 in Los Angeles, Anna May Wong went on to become the first Chinese American movie star in Hollywood. While she appeared in more than 60 films, she was mostly relegated to playing smaller, supporting parts that were based on racial stereotypes. Even when Hollywood was making The Good Earth, producers passed Wong over, instead casting a white actress to play a Chinese character. As Wong said in a 1928 interview, “There seems little for me in Hollywood, because, rather than real Chinese, producers prefer Hungarians, Mexicans, American Indians for Chinese roles.”

After spending time in Europe, she eventually returned home to Los Angeles, and in 1951, starred in her own TV show, making her television's first Chinese American leading lady. Unfortunately the groundbreaking show, The Gallery of Madame Liu-Tsong, only lasted a year. But, today, Wong is still celebrated for paving the way for future Asian American actors. 

Charlotta Spears Bass

Public domain

Nearly 70 years before Kamala Harris would become our first female Vice President, Charlotta Spears Bass was the first Black woman to run for vice president of the United States in 1952, on the Progressive Party ticker. In addition to working in politics, Spears owned and ran LA-based African American newspaper The California Eagle, and a civil rights activist, according to the National Women's History Museum. Over the years, Bass's paper addressed racial injustices, including discrimination in schools, housing and employment.

Dorothy Chandler

By Hbchandler

We have Dorothy Chandler to thank for the Hollywood Bowl. In 1950, the iconic venue was in a financial crisis and near closing, when Chandler took action, organizing fundraising concerts that help saved the Bowl. After her experience with the Hollywood Bowl, she set out to raise money to build a performing arts center in Los Angeles. In 1964, thanks to Chandler's unrelenting fundraising and efforts, The Los Angeles Music Center opened. The full complex was completed in 1967, with three venues: the Dorothy Chandler Pavilion, Mark Taper Forum and Ahmanson Theatre. In her 1997 obituary, the Los Angeles Times noted that "many believe [the Music Center] saved a physically and culturally decaying downtown core area."

Dolores Huerta

Dolores Huerta Foundation

In 1955 Huerta began her career as an activist when she co-founded the Stockton chapter of the Community Service Organization (CSO), which led voter registration drives and fought for economic improvements for Hispanics. She also founded the Agricultural Workers Association, a precursor to what would eventually become the United Farm Worker's Union in 1965. Over the next decade, Huerta organized and fought for farm workers rights. Her efforts contributed to groundbreaking California Agricultural Labor Relations Act of 1975, which allowed farm workers to form unions and bargain for better wages and conditions. 

Today, Huerta continues to work advocating for the working poor, women, and children. As founder and president of the Dolores Huerta Foundation, she travels across the country engaging in campaigns and influencing legislation that supports equality and defends civil rights. 

Aurora Castillo

Courtesy of Goldman Environmental Prize

In 1984, Aurora Castillo, then in her seventies, learned that the state of California had plans to build an eighth prison in East Los Angeles. Together with other residents of her predominantly Latino community, she helped found The Mothers of East Los Angeles (MELA). In addition to eventually prevailing against the state in the battle over the prison project, MELA went on to fight for environmental justice for their neighborhood, stopping the construction of a toxic pipeline. According to The Los Angeles Times, Castillo vowed to “fight like a lioness for the children of East Los Angeles.”

 

Wallis Annenberg

You might recognize her name from the community facilities she's helped create over the years, including the Annenberg Community Beach House, Annenberg PetSpace,  Annenberg Space for Photography and Wallis Annenberg Center for Performing Arts. Wallis Annenberg's philanthropic work has certainly delivered some of our favorite destinations for art, culture and fun in LA. She's also responsible for the first universally accessible treehouse—the Wilson Park Annenberg Tree House in Torrance. Guided by principles of community, inclusion and compassion, Annenberg has said, "I’ve tried to focus not just on giving, but on innovating."

 

On Martin Luther King, Jr. Day, discover MLK events, celebrations, and local volunteering opportunities for you and your kids around LA

Each year, on Martin Luther King Jr. Day, Americans unite to honor his legacy and tireless work as a champion of civil rights. So when is Martin Luther King Day? MLK Day takes place the third Monday in January each year. Fun fact: King’s actual birthday is January 15 (he was born in 1929). In addition to celebrating King’s legacy, this holiday has also become a National Day of Service—encouraging Americans to volunteer and do good in their communities. So whether you want to celebrate MLK at a parade or spend the day giving back to others, here are all the things to do on MLK Day in Los Angeles.

How to Celebrate MLK Day in Los Angeles

1. Long Beach Martin Luther King Jr. Parade and Celebration

Jan. 14: This beloved event returns for its 35th year to celebrate Rev. Dr. King and the diverse community of Central Long Beach. Festivities kick off at 10 a.m. at the intersection of Martin Luther King Jr. Ave. and Anaheim St., followed by the park celebration from noon-5 p.m. at Martin Luther King Jr. Park. The park celebration will include a main stage with live performances, a health and wellness area, youth area, and tons of food and vendors.
Martin Luther King Jr. Park
1950 Lemon Ave.
Los Angeles
Online: longbeach.gov

2. Santa Monica Symphony MLK Holiday Concert

Jan. 14: In partnership with the Rev. Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. Westside Coalition, the Santa Monica Symphony honors the legacy of Rev. Dr. King with its annual MLK concert conducted by Gary Pratt. The concert opens with Coleridge-Taylor’s Danse Negre and Price’s rousing Symphony No. 1 and concludes with Gershwin’s iconic Rhapsody in Blue with Jason Stoll on piano. The event is free, but pre-registration is required. Doors open at 2 p.m. with the performance running from 3 p.m.-5 p.m.

John Adams Middle School Performing Arts Center
1630 Pearl St.
Santa Monica
Online: smsymphony.org

3. Minecraft March on Washington (Virtual Event)

Jan. 14 & 16: As part of LA Works MLK Day of Service, this virtual event builds upon the anti-racism movement through an interactive march on Washington in Minecraft and an in-person event at LA Memorial Coliseum. Tour a virtual exhibit of the 1963 March on Washington and interact with civil rights leaders like Rev. Dr. King himself. The event takes place from noon- 9 p.m. on Jan. 14 and 10 a.m.-9 p.m. on Jan. 16. Advance registration is required and closes at 5 p.m. on Jan. 11. Once you register, LA Works will email a link to attend the event. Access to Minecraft (Java or Bedrock edition) is required. Event details.

4. LA Works Martin Luther King Day of Service at LA Memorial Coliseum

Jan. 16: In 1964, Rev. Dr. King passionately addressed 15,000 Angelenos at LA Memorial Coliseum on the issues of race relations and human dignity. This year, LA Works continues Rev. Dr. King’s legacy by empowering LA volunteers to fight for food and climate justice. The day of service schedule starts off at noon-1 p.m. where volunteers will sample vegan food at booths hosted by local restaurants and learn about local activity to combat climate change. From 1:15 p.m.-1:30 p.m., there will be a keynote speaker, and from 1:30 p.m.-3:30 p.m., volunteers will rotate through eco-action stations, including creating urban greening kits, assembling disaster preparedness materials, and making a climate action pledge. There will also be a family zone with volunteer activities designed with kids in mind. Register online to volunteer.

LA Memorial Coliseum
3911 S Figueroa St.
Los Angeles
Online: laworks.com/mlk

https://www.instagram.com/p/B7Wz4qalnkP/?hidecaption=true

5. King Day at California African American Museum

Jan. 16: From 10 a.m.-5 p.m., on Jan. 16, CAAM celebrates Rev. Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. with a day of festivities. This year’s theme of “MLK: A Legacy of Service” will include a performance by the Inner-City Youth Orchestra of Los Angeles, the King Study Group, and family activities provided by the LA Public Library. Admission is free, but attendees are asked to RSVP to the event ahead of time.

CAAM
600 State St.
Los Angeles
Online: caamuseum.org

6. Kingdom Day Parade

Jan. 16: Known as America’s biggest and oldest birthday celebration of MLK, the 38th Annual Kingdom Day Parade features this year’s theme of “America, The Last Best Hope of the World.” If you are wondering what time does the MLK parade start in Los Angeles? The parade takes place at 11 a.m. and provides a festive, family-friendly opportunity for the LA community to gather and celebrate the life of Rev. Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. With over 250,000 spectators expected to line the parade route filled with floats, marching bands, and tons of fun, this is must-do event. It will also be broadcast on TV at 11 a.m. on ABC-7.

Martin Luther King Jr. Blvd.
Los Angeles
Online: kingdomdayparade.org

7. A Walk to Remember MLK in Redondo Beach

Jan. 16: Join fellow community members in a Day of Service by walking to honor the life of Rev. Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. The walk begins at 101 W. Torrance Blvd. in Redondo Beach and ends at the MLK Jr. memorial located in front of the Redondo Beach Police Department. While the walk is free, event organizers ask all participants to bring a child or adult/teen kit filled with necessities (see website for specific needs) to donate at the event or any time prior to that at the RBPD. All kits will go to the RBPD Domestic Violence Advocacy Program. Attendees should meet at the Pier Sub-Station at 10:00 a.m.

Redondo Beach Pier Sub-Station
101 W. Torrance Blvd.
Redondo Beach
Online: eventbrite.com

https://www.instagram.com/p/CJrq8pEsHsW/?hidecaption=true

8. Big Sunday MLK Clothing Drive and Community Breakfast

Jan. 16: Big Sunday is hosting their 11th Annual MLK Day Clothing Drive and Community Breakfast on Jan. 16 from 10 a.m.—1 p.m. at 24th St. Elementary School. This big block party will feature a community breakfast, arts and crafts projects to benefit local nonprofits, entertainment from the Blue Breeze Band, a Civil Rights Exhibit, and Big Sunday’s Something in Common project. They will also be putting together 2,023 winter clothing kits for folks who are struggling. They are happy to accept donations of any new clothing or shoes, or you can sponsor a new clothing bag for $25. All ages are welcome!

24th St. Elementary School
2055 W. 24th St.
Los Angeles
Online: bigsunday.org

9. Leadership Long Beach MLK Day of Service

Jan. 16: For 13 years, Leadership Long Beach has coordinated the largest MLK Day of Service in LA County, bringing together thousands of volunteers to complete dozens of community service projects. If you have a project idea, Leadership Long Beach welcomes suggestions on their website. All service projects must be completed between 9 a.m. - 1 p.m. on Jan. 16 and be easy enough that volunteers can quickly jump in to make a difference. Projects must be completed within the cities of Long Beach or Signal Hill and have a dedicated leader who will guide and supervise volunteers to complete the work.

Online: leadershiplb.org

10. National Park System Free Entrance Day in Honor of MLK

Jan. 16: In honor of MLK’s birthday, National Park service sites will waive entrance fees for everyone on Jan. 16. Many national parks also host a variety of service projects that people can sign up for as volunteers, so be sure to check the park’s website for any opportunities.

Online: nps.gov

Related: Our Favorite National Parks within Driving Distance of DTLA

11. Martin Luther King Jr. Walk-A-Thon

Jan. 16: Join the African American Historical Society for a Walk-A-Thon in honor of MLK. This year’s theme is “A Legacy of Strength, a Future of Action.” The 5K walk starts at the Stratton Center and ends at the Main Library Breezeway across from the Civil Rights Institute with a stop at the Martin Luther King Jr. statue along the way. Early registrants have an opportunity to receive one of a limited number of commemorative coins to celebrate the grand opening of the Civil Rights Institute, as well as a family pack of tickets to an Ontario Clippers game at Toyota Arena. Registration begins at 7:30 a.m. at Stratton Center and the walk begins at 10 a.m. Afterwards, there will be booths, entertainment, and performances. Proceeds from the Walk-A-Thon will benefit the Riverside African American Historical Society’s initiatives. Online registration prior to the event is encouraged, but on-site registration will available too. Tickets are $35 for participants ages 13 and up and include a t-shirt.

Stratton Center at Bordwell Park
2008 Martin Luther King Blvd.
Riverside
Online: raahsinc.org

Ahhhh….summer.  It sounds amazing.

Lots of time outside; the kids all splashing happily in whatever water-filled container you have.

Lots of unscheduled time, with no particular places to be or things to do.

Your kids get to just be kids for a while.

But here’s what’s also part of summer:

The crying and whining.

The endless repetitions of “I’m booooooored…” interspersed with refusals to help around the house.

And your triggered feelings.

What Happens When You Have a Big Reaction to Your Kid’s Feelings

When your kids don’t cooperate (which happens a lot when you’re together a lot), you probably go into one of four ‘modes’:

1. Fight Mode: You get combative! Your child might as well be an attacking bear that you’re fighting for your life. You will dominate them…through words (you can probably out-logic them), through your physical presence (towering over them) and/or through swatting or spanking them.

2. Flight Mode: You’ve got to get out of here! Your child might as well be an attacking bear that you’re running away from, and quickly. You check out mentally, or you physically leave the room—and when your child follows you it makes everything ten times worse.

3. Freeze Mode: The bear’s attacking, and you can’t figure out what to do. You’re mentally and physically frozen: should you counterattack? Should you run and hide? It is simply not possible for you to make a decision—about anything—at this moment.

4. Fawn Mode: Most common among people who have experienced abuse, this involves getting the difficult behavior to stop at all costs. You placate the child; reassure them; say they can have the thing they want…anything to make the crying/screaming/whining stop.

It doesn’t seem like any of these things should be part of any parent’s summer plans…and yet, here they are.

Summer isn’t over yet.

Are you gonna make it?

Here are 5 tips to help you not just survive but actually enjoy the time you’re spending with your kids this summer:

1. Don’t Multitask.
Whenever your attention is split, there’s a good chance you’re going to get frustrated. Have designated times to play with your kids—and put the phone away. Focus on nothing but being with them. At other times, tell them you’re not available now but you will be in 30 minutes/after lunch/when the timer goes off.

2. Slow Down & Simplify.
Do you need to go to every birthday party? Must you take something homemade to every gathering, or would a bowl of cherries be just as welcome?  Could you eat take-out one more night a week, or cook twice as much on the nights you do cook, and eat leftovers every other night? Can you plan just a little further ahead so you don’t have to go shopping as often? The more you can slow down and simplify, the less overall stress you’ll feel, which will leave more gas in the tank to deal with the children’s meltdowns.

3. Be Realistic about What Your Child Can Do. 
We hear a lot about having ‘developmentally appropriate’ expectations, but many parents expect their children to be able to do way more than they really can.  A survey by respected organization Zero to Three found that over half of parents think that children under three can reliably resist the desire to do something forbidden when actually this starts to develop between ages 3.5-4. And 42% of parents think that children should be able to control their emotions—like not having a tantrum when they’re frustrated—by age 2 when again this develops between the ages of 3.4-4. If you’re expecting too much too soon, you’ll get frustrated when they can’t meet your expectations.

4. Embrace the Drop-off (Outdoor) Playdate.
If you have any access to the outdoors, and there are other families in your ‘pod,’ take turns hosting outdoor playdates. If you have a garden, the other child could bring a lunch and then you just turf them outdoors for the day—they can collect rocks, make ‘houses’ for imaginary friends; build things out of cardboard…Even traditionally indoor-based toys like LEGO and Magnatiles that they’re bored with using indoors can be fun again outdoors. Chances are having another child around will actually keep yours occupied for longer…and then your child goes to the friend’s house another time, giving you several hours off. Even if you go to the playground or park instead of your house, you could work for the life of your laptop battery, or hang out with a book. Win-win!

5. Pay Attention to What’s Going on in Your Body.  
In our culture, we have an idea that everything worth paying attention to happens in our brains. But very often our bodies tell us when something’s up—like when we’re getting resentful because our child has been asking us to do things for them all day. We might feel a tightness in our shoulders, heat across our chest, nausea, or a headache long before we yell at our child, walk away from them, freeze, or fawn. We can learn to pay attention to these signals and act on them early in the day rather than letting the frustration build until we explode.

Navigating kids’ big feelings is challenging for every parent. It can be doubly challenging when you can’t stay calm in these moments, perhaps partly because you are remembering difficult events from your childhood. But just because you’ve responded with frustration up to now doesn’t mean it always has to be that way. You might think that your child needs to change their behavior but none of the ideas here involve doing that. When you change the way you show up with them, they most likely won’t do as much of the behavior you find so difficult.

And so you will make it through the summer.

RELATED STORIES
How a Summertime Routine Will Benefit Your Kids
Here’s Why Your Kids Don’t Need an Amazing Summer
Ditching That Summer Reading List Is Actually a Fantastic Idea

Jen Lumanlan fills the gaps in her parenting intuition through research, via a Master’s in Psychology (Child Development) and another in Education.  Her podcast, Your Parenting Mojo, provides rigorous yet accessible information on parenting and child development to help parents tame the overwhelm and raise resilient, thriving children.

I had been divorced for a couple of years when my former husband called with a surprise. Thankfully, it wasn’t the type of surprise he delivered the night he sat me at the table and told me he had been unfaithful for more than a decade and was leaving me for someone he met in Las Vegas.

No, this surprise had to do with our 12-year-old son. He said he was taking him to China for a vacation. I got that feeling you get when you walk in on a conversation, and everyone is laughing and looking at you like you know what they’re talking about.

China?

How had this come about? I searched my memory for some mention of anything remotely Chinese on my son’s wish list. Had the two of them been to see the First Emperor’s Terracotta Warriors on display at the Field Museum? Or taken a school field trip to Chinatown that I didn’t know about?

The only connection I could come up with was my son’s collection of Pokemon cards, but those are Japanese.

“Um… that would be cool, I guess,” I said, still processing the random nature of his declaration. By the time I gathered my thoughts enough to pose some questions and concerns, he announced that he had bought tickets to travel during a school week and over days that were technically mine on the parenting schedule.

“I can’t change it,” he said. “If I do, I’ll have to pay $1,000 and I know you don’t want that.”

What I didn’t want was to be told what to think or how to feel. An immediate, familiar pressure gripped my chest as I recalled all the activities and decisions that had already occurred behind my back. That he would plan something so extravagant for our son without discussing it with me felt too unfair. I was already struggling with the realities of co-parenting our three children, still getting used to the myriad ways a divorced mom must learn to let go as she is eased out of her job.

After college, I worked as a secretary in London for a few months and learned that, rather than firing people, workers are “made redundant.” It means the same thing but sounds so much nicer. I’ve been made redundant as a mother—no longer needed or useful in all the ways I once was.

This shows up in small ways:

Tell me about your science project. “I don’t want to talk about it. I told dad all about it.”

Want to see the new Marvel movie? “Sorry, mom, we saw it with dad.”

Guess what? I got pizza for dinner! (A chorus of groans.) “We had pizza two nights in a row with dad!”

And in big ways, like feeling helpless and broken during that stretch when my daughter called, in tears, begging to come home every time she was at her dad’s. Or having no words of comfort when my boys expressed their anger about their dad’s girlfriend moving in.

All of those impotent moments were triggered again by the thought of my son flying halfway around the world without me. I imagined him sleep-deprived and anxious from the long flight, wandering lost in a crowded street market, even starving, thanks to his finicky diet.

Overprotective? Maybe. But once your trust in someone is so completely shattered, how do you patch enough of it together to cover some areas and not others? I believe my kids’ dad is, as a parent, loving and devoted. But I believed that about him as a husband, too, and I was wrong.

I don’t blame myself for being guarded. I believe that any mother who has ever experienced betrayal would likely volunteer to go through it again rather than see her kids suffer a similar disappointment. At the same time, I have to be careful not to color my kids’ experiences with my disappointments. For me, this meant smiling while I packed a suitcase and waved bon voyage to my baby. It also meant feeling genuine happiness when my baby returned unscathed, unperturbed and a little more worldly.

Yes, I have learned some wonderful lessons on this road back from betrayal.

Here are the big ones.

Respond rather than react.

One of the best decisions I made early in the divorce process was to treat negotiations as business agreements and relegate them to emails rather than phone calls. That way, I can take my time and formulate a clear-headed answer on my timeline. Reacting equals losing power. Responding equals reclaiming power.

Have your facts straight.

In the case of the China trip, I assumed that my son couldn’t be taken out of the country without my permission. But when I checked our parenting agreement, I saw that my former husband only needed written permission from me for the first 24 months following the divorce. Wow. That shocked me, but there it was, in black and white.

Gathering the facts gave me time to gather my thoughts enough to get clear about my objections and whether they were ones I had a right to make. As galling as it is to have to follow rules with a rule-breaker who broke your heart, do it anyway.

Come from a “well-fed” place.

This is the juicy center, the meat inside the sandwich. Everything revolves around my ability to get quiet, tune in and take responsibility for my inner world. What are my motivations? Is this about me or my kids? Am I fighting for the sake of fighting? Am I settling an old score? Am I bored, lonely or craving drama? I need to look at whether I’m feeding myself what I need rather than entering into a “hungry” exchange with my former husband.

Of course, life, in its perfection, always provides us with opportunities to practice these skills. I had another chance when our daughter turned 13 and her dad decided it was her turn for an extravagant trip—to Thailand. This time I was prepared.

My response? Don’t forget your sunscreen.

Oh, and bring me back a Buddha.

Originally published in June 2018 on She Does the City.

RELATED LINKS
Dear Husband: I Need More Help from You
When Divorce Is the Only Answer
Why I Stopped Overcompensating for My Kids’ Absent Dad

Tammy Letherer is an author, writing coach and blogger. She holds a degree in Journalism from Indiana University and has enjoyed a long, varied professional writing career. She is the author of a memoir, The Buddha at My Table (release date October 2018) and a novel, Hello Loved Ones. She lives in Chicago with her children.

Hey Mamas (and of course Papas) out there!

Let’s talk about crafting with your kiddos.

I know, as parents, we always like non-screen activities for our kids. And one of the best ways to do that is to help them with simple arts and crafts!

However, you may be thinking, “UGH. What a mess it will make.” Or, “I’m sure they’ll fight with each other while sitting at the table together.” Or “I wonder if I have all the supplies I need?” And, “How can I help all of them at once?”

And if you are thinking these things, let me tell ya, I’m right there with you!

However, there are a few simple ways to make crafting with your kiddos a bit easier, and a more calm, enjoyable experience.

1. Plan the Craft Ahead of Time

So, if you’re like me, I’m not a big planner by any stretch of the imagination. I watch in envy as organized people get things done calmly and perfectly.

However, I do try to hone these organizational skills at least a little. One way you can do this with crafts for kids is to plan ahead. And by this, I mean, pick maybe 2 or 3 crafts to do with your kids for the week. Pinterest is a great place to research easy crafts.

Then look at the supply list which is usually provided in the instructions, and make sure you have all the materials you need. And if you don’t just add them to your supermarket list for when you go out next time. Or order from Amazon! Hey, even easier, head to your neighbor’s house and see if they have some supplies to share.

Just be sure to have all your supplies handy and ready to make your crafts for the week.

2. Set Up Your Craft Area

Next, it’s time to set up your craft area. You could choose a space on your countertop, dining room table or some people even have rooms dedicated for crafts.

Just clear off the area you are going to use, mine is usually the dining room table. Stuff somehow, every day, every minute, every hour, gets accumulated on there. So the first thing I do is to clear off the stuff that’s somehow piled up on there. Must be gremlins or something.

Then, once you have a clear surface to work on, set up a designated station for each of your kids. Place all the supplies out that they will be using, in the order that they will most likely be using them in. This is so they have their own station with supplies to use, and they’re not fighting over each other’s stuff. I tell mine if a dirty, stinky old sock was on the ground and one wanted it, then the other ones would insist on having it too! ;)

So set up those nice, neat craft stations—just don’t expect them to stay neat for long.

3. Enlist a Craft Helper

Ok, so it really is nice to have another adult on hand to help, especially if you have multiple, preschool-age children. So if grandma is coming to visit maybe plan the craft for that day.

Or, if it’s a more in-depth activity, maybe plan it on a weekend when your partner may be there to help out.

However, if there are no other adults available, I have my older children help a younger one. They may not be thrilled but it will be a good experience for them, teaches them about helping others, am I right?

Also sometimes if I explain the craft or experiment before starting, then the older kids can complete it independently. This allows me the freedom to help the younger ones. And don’t worry, once they get into a “craft routine” the process will go much more smoothly!

4. Expect a Mess

Ok, parents, so this is where we lower our expectations. Those beautifully staged photos of kids doing crafts, laughing merrily, clean and well-dressed, with their mom standing over them smiling happily and calmly helping? Well, let’s face it, that’s (usually) not the way it works.

Mine are usually completely covered with paint or glue, the table is also strewn with the same sorts of materials. So make sure if it’s a messy project, to put some newspaper or plastic table cloth down to protect your surface. Make sure they are dressed in old play clothes too.

An easy-to-clean rug or hardwood or tile floor under your workstation helps too because some of the craft and activity supplies are bound to sneak their way to the edge of the table and fall onto the floor.

Remember, it’s easy to be annoyed by messes but it really doesn’t take all that long to clean up. Don’t forget to get the kids involved in the clean-up process as well!

Crafting with Kids

Have I convinced you to check Pinterest for craft ideas, gather your kids up and get your crafting supplies out yet?

I certainly hope so!

And remember it’s ok to lose your mind sometimes…just as long as you find it again. ;)

But, in all seriousness, I hope these steps will help make the crafting and activity process a little easier for both you and your little ones

Have fun, and as I’m sure you’ve heard before…time goes by fast and they’re only little for such a short amount of time. So make the most of it!

RELATED STORIES:

Hey there! I'm a wife, mom, homebody and lover of all things home and family. I'm also the author of the blog Dappled Skies and Diys. Over on the blog I share simple DIY projects, kids' crafts and activities, and gardening tips along with a few mom-life stories for fun!

Five years ago I became a teacher; five years ago I also became the mother to a son in heaven. On August 12th, 2016, I came home from my first new teacher workday. It was exhilarating and exciting, and for the first time in a long time, I knew I was exactly where I should be. I had no idea that a few short hours later, I’d find myself in the hospital in preterm labor with our first child. That same day, we lost our son Jaxon at only 21 weeks.

I found myself wondering how on earth I was going to go back into that classroom and teach a room full of 28 kids when I had just lost my own. Nevertheless, I did it only four short days later. And now, looking back, I know that that choice completely changed my life. I knew that was exactly where I was meant to be.

Fast forward to April 2, 2017, I found myself in the same space. In preterm labor, this time with twin boys. That day, we lost our boys Everett and Bryant. Again, nearly immediately after, I threw myself back into my work. Now here we were, struggling with what to do next. We wanted to be parents more than anything, and we knew we had so much love to give. So in January 2018, after 7 long months of bed rest, we welcomed our angel on earth, Maddox. And we were smitten.

Being a teacher is often a double-edged sword. You’re educated on child development just enough to be hypercritical of not only your work but also the work within your own home, with your own kids. Maddox was a spitfire from the day he was born. So independent, but so kind-hearted and eager to explore the world. I can also tell you down to the minute when I realized that something wasn’t right.

I was sitting in the viewing area at his very first swim lesson. I had convinced my husband to get in the pool with him (more like I lost at rock, paper, scissors), so I struck up a conversation with the mom sitting next to me. Her daughter was in Maddox’s class, and we had discovered that they were only a few days apart. Maddox nearly doubled her in size, but she had something Maddox didn’t; eye contact, pointing, talking to her mom, waving, blowing kisses. She had effortless interaction, and meaningful engagement. There we sat behind the glass, her receiving waves and kisses, and me desperately trying to have Maddox even look at me.

That’s when I knew.

We are blessed with the most incredible pediatrician, turned family friend, and within minutes of this realization, I had sent her a text message.

“I think Maddox has autism.”

Although no one around me was on board at the time, they supported me, and they listened, and I could never put into words how grateful I am for that.

The following month, Maddox turned 18 months old. We had speech evaluations, occupational therapy evaluations, and physical therapy evaluations. It was determined that my 18-month-old was currently communicating at the level of a 3-to-6-month-old. His repetition had also worried them to the point of needing weekly occupational therapy sessions, as well as speech.

The next few months were a blur, I never stopped. I googled, I tried finding Facebook groups, anything I could do to find even a glimmer of hope. And that’s where this journey of autism becomes lonely. Before this, I had no idea how broad this spectrum truly is. No two journeys are the same, and there is no one-size-fits-all description.

This past winter, we had Maddox’s first preschool evaluation to have his IEP written. Even though I had gone through the diagnosis and all the therapies, and all of the sleepless nights I spent worrying, this was the hardest for me.

For the first time, I was on the other side of the table.

I suddenly found myself trying to flip the switch from teacher to mom. I wasn’t advocating for accommodations for my students anymore, I was doing it for my own child. And although I had always had the greatest empathy for the parents of my IEP students, this was different. Now, we had something even greater in common. In that moment, I came to understand them better than ever. I understood why they were so passionate, sometimes to a fault, about making their child’s educational experience the best it could possibly be.

I can’t tell you how scary it is to send your 3-year old into a building with adults that you don’t know and who don’t know you. But I can tell you that it’s even scarier when your child can’t talk to you about their day, and they can’t communicate with you in the same way that typically occurs at their age.

Maddox’s diagnosis may have turned our world upside down, but now we fight every single day to turn the world right-side-up for him.

And although I had grown used to being the teacher at that table, I was now fighting to become comfortable and aware of my new place, on the other side of the table.

 

This post originally appeared on Finding Cooper’s Voice.

My name is Jordan Lamping and I am the mother of an amazing three year old son named Maddox, who was diagnosed with autism just over a year ago. I'm also a teacher, and the creator of The Other Side of the Table blog. 

Ready to snuff out the sniffles? If you’re looking for a way to fight off those nasty colds and flu viruses, the food you eat is a good place to start. These kid-friendly recipes pack a punch with superfood ingredients that help prevent illness before it happens. And with recipes like chocolate chia seed pudding— these are the ones that will stick with you through the cold season and beyond.

Superfood Breakfast Bars 2
photo: A Healthy Life for Me

Oatmeal Superfood Breakfast Bars
Here are the superfood stats on these breakfast bars from A Healthy Life for Me: The oats contain an immune and cholesterol-boosting fiber called beta-glucan. The pumpkin seeds are packed with protein, magnesium, potassium and zinc. And the bananas and blueberries offer a few vitamin bonuses. Plus, they’re pretty to look at and easy to whip up. Get the recipe here.

Carrot Orange Juice
photo: My Fussy Eater

Carrot Orange Juice
Orange juice is a classic cold fighter because it contains a whole lot of vitamin C, which studies have shown can cut a cold’s duration by about a day if it’s taken at the first sign of illness. This O.J drink from My Fussy Eater also features carrots, which provide immune-boosting antioxidants and vitamins. For an extra antioxidant kick, you can also add ginger— a natural antihistamine and decongestant. Get the recipe here.

Slow Cooker Butternut Squash & Sweet Potato Soup
photo: Life Made Sweeter

Slow Cooker Butternut Squash and Sweet Potato Soup
Oh, good gourd! This soup from Life Made Sweeter scores major points both for its use of the slow cooker (easy dinner for the win!) and the star ingredients: butternut squash and sweet potato. These superfoods are packed with things like potassium, fiber, and omega 3s. Their orange hue also means that they’re rich in carotenoids that boost bone health and fight asthma.

Roasted Edamame 3 Ways
photo: Beauty & the Beard

Roasted Edamame 3 Ways
Edamame (a.k.a soybeans) isn’t just a Japanese restaurant staple. It’s also a fiber and protein powerhouse and its nutrients, vitamins, and antioxidants do wonders for the immune system. That’s why we love these soy-tastic edamame snacks from Beauty & the Beard. They’re simple to make and have a big flavor and health payoff.

photo: Julia’s Album

Parmesan Zucchini and Garlic Pasta
Sure, pasta is a well-known kid-pleaser. But this dish from Julia’s Album has even more going for it thanks to its hefty dose of garlic. In addition to being a good source of vitamin B6 and vitamin C, garlic contains allicin, an amino acid that produces antioxidants when it’s broken down. That means that this easy four-ingredient dish is also superfood-rich.

photo: Out of the Box Food

Kid-Approved Kale and Walnut Pesto
Pesto with a superfood, kid-approved twist? Yes, please! Out of the Box Food sets up kale as the main green ingredient of the sauce you know and love. This leafy veggie provides lots of vitamins and minerals (like folate, vitamin C, and calcium) that give little immune systems a super boost. You only need minimal time and ingredients to make this pesto, so the only question is: what will you put it on?

photo: Averie Cooks

Kiwi Agua Fresca
Psst! Did you know that kiwis are antioxidant all-stars? They actually offer more vitamin C than an equivalent amount of orange, more potassium than the same amount of bananas, and are low in sugar. All of that, plus additional nutrients found in kiwis, adds up to serious perks for the immune system. Averie Cooks has a great idea for a refreshing kiwi drink that’s naturally sweet and easy to make.

photo: A Dash of Butter

Frozen Blueberry Yogurt Bark
Here’s the deal with Greek yogurt: it contains probiotics that help the body replenish good bacteria and lower the risk of upper respiratory tract infections. It’s also yummy, especially when paired with anti-inflammatory and antioxidant-rich blueberries. For an easy team up of the two, Dash of Butter has you covered with this pretty-as-a-picture snack.

photo: Crème de la Crumb

Red Pepper Hummus
Good news for hummus lovers! Crème de la Crumb takes your favorite dip and gives it a big health benefit boost in the form of red peppers. These veggies contain high levels of cold-fighting vitamin C, which means you can supplement a morning glass of O.J with an after-school hummus snack. For bonus points, dunk bell pepper strips instead of chips.

 

photo: Minimalist Baker

Overnight Chocolate Chia Seed Pudding
It looks like a decadent dessert and it tastes as good as one, too, but this pudding has secret agent superfood powers. Both chia seeds and cacao powder are loaded with immune-boosting antioxidants that can help fight the common cold and flu. Minimalist Baker combines both to create a dreamy creamy treat.

Easy Salmon and Potato Foil Packets
photo: Averie Cooks

Easy Salmon and Potato Foil Packets
The immune info on salmon is that it’s a great source of vitamin D and omega-3s, nutrients that help immune cells function and boost overall immune system strength. And you don’t have to get fancy to add more salmon to your dinner table. Averie Cooks has a great idea for easy-peasy salmon foil packets that also include citrus-y vitamin C.

Secret Veggie Green Rice
photo: My Fussy Eater

Secret Veggie Green Rice
Go green! This rice is a true triple threat, with spinach, avocado, and cauliflower as its main ingredients. Together, these superfoods provide glutathione (a powerful antioxidant that helps fight off infection), along with vitamins A, C and E. The credit for this colorful and healthy concoction goes to My Fussy Eater, who guarantees that it’s super easy to make, too.

photo: One Lovely Life

Blueberry Pomegranate Smoothie

This mega superfood smoothie is not only packed with healthy ingredients and no added sugar—but it’s also delicious. Thanks to this recipe from Emily over at One Lovely Life, your kids will be asking for seconds without realizing just how nutritious it really is. That’s a win/win.

—Abigail Matsumoto

Featured image: Denis Tuksar via Unsplash

 

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Photo: Devin Tomiak

The battle began in the yard with small chunks of hardened mud—”mud rocks” as coined by my boys. They were running around pelting each other. What’s fun without a little danger? Sure, it was just small bits of mud they threw, but the bits were growing by the second, radioactively, soon-to-be baseball-sized. You know the game? In our house, we call it “Until Someone Gets Hurt.”

“I know they’re just small mud rocks,” I shouted as the boys whipped by. “But did you know that if you drop a penny from the top of the Empire State Building and it lands on someone’s head, it will kill them? Small, hard things can be dangerous.”

“Really?” they each stopped mid-throw and responded in unison. At the time, I didn’t know if the penny thing was true or a myth, but it worked. The white flags flapped in the wind. Mud war: CEASED.

According to an article in the University of California’s Greater Good magazine, “Research has shown curiosity to be associated with higher levels of positive emotions, lower levels of anxiety, more satisfaction with life, and greater psychological well-being.”

But what about the benefit of disarming children in a ferocious mud fight? Or in any fight I dare ask?

“Wow” moments are naturally followed by a pause. Often this pause is exactly what our kids need to reorient from an argument or dysregulation. Sharing something interesting is also a way of giving to your child, whereas asking them to “take deep breaths,” another effective calming mechanism, is a request and could be interpreted as a burden. You’ve probably heard from your kiddo, “I don’t wanna take deep breaths!” But have you ever heard, “Don’t teach me anything I find exciting and interesting!”?

Finally, learning together connects people in “micro moments of love” says Barbara Fredrickson in the Harvard Business Review’s article, “We Learn More When We Learn Together.” She goes on to say that this type of high-quality connection creates appreciation and openness to others, and even can make us feel more alive in the moment.

The science backs it up. According to the article, “What Happens To Your Brain When You Learn Something New” on Oprah.com, “Novel experiences give you a rush of the reward chemical dopamine.” On top of it, learning something cool or interesting often evokes awe. Oxytocin is released when we experience awe, and with it a rush of warm, fuzzy feelings. These chemical jolts of positivity might explain why even when children are at their most unruly, if you sling some captivating knowledge at them, they likely won’t be able to resist stopping, listening and learning. Children are curious little creatures after all.

The Patented Formula for the Knowledge Attack

Kids boycotting broccoli? Kids arguing over which movie to watch on movie night? Kids refusing to do a chore? Ensnare them in the information booby trap.

Start with science. Putting something in scientific terms is like shooting your kid with a tranquilizer gun. Did you know, child, research shows that doing chores can make you live longer? (It’s true—researchers have discovered that people enjoy the same health benefits whether they go to the gym, walk to work or do household chores, and performing 30 minutes of any kind of physical activity five days a week could slash your risk of death from any cause by 28 percent.)

For those unschooled in science, just tell your kid anything they don’t already know. History is always compelling. People used to HANG towels to dry on a clothesline using something called ‘clothespins’!  Alternatively, there’s the “Fun Fact” route. 96% of kids complain about chores, but they still do them. You can find anything on Google. And let me stress that it doesn’t even matter if your facts are false, as was the case with my penny falling from the Empire State Building story. (My son later looked it up and the penny can’t gather enough velocity to do any real harm.) You can always correct any falsehood afterward when your children aren’t breaking your eardrums or skating on the edge of doom.

And if all else fails, hurl some unfamiliar vocabulary at them. Even that can stop them in their whiney tracks. Chores improve your self-reliance. Don’t know what ‘self-reliance’ is, child? Well, let me tell you while you fold the dang towels.

Lastly, I will have you know that the information snare works even when your kids aren’t fighting you or themselves. Sharing some interesting information with your kid is the perfect segue into bigger, deeper conversations. Hooking children with some good, juicy fun facts, history, and science is actually the basis for The Biggies Conversation Cards, which delve into meaningful topics in a fun way.

Curiosity is your child’s Achilles heel. Try out “The Knowledge Attack” on your own brood today. And watch your kids crumble under your informative wiles.

This post originally appeared on The Biggies Conversation Cards Blog.
feature image: Allen Taylor via Unsplash

After losing a brother to suicide, Devin Tomiak was driven to understand youth resiliency. Her personal mission to strengthen her relationship with her children, develop their emotional intelligence, and improve the communication skills of her whole family led her to create The Biggies Conversation Cards for elementary-aged kids.

You can be anything. It’s Barbie’s slogan and an uplifting message for kids everywhere. Now six real-life women who became heroes of the pandemic have their own dolls thanks to Mattel’s #ThankYouHeroes program!

These healthcare role models inspired us with their courageous efforts during a tumultuous time. Their accomplishments saved countless lives and made a huge impact in the fight against the pandemic:

  • Amy O’Sullivan, RN (United States) – Emergency Room nurse Amy O’Sullivan treated the first COVID-19 patient in Brooklyn at the Wyckoff Heights Medical Center, became ill and was intubated, then a few weeks later returned to work to continue taking care of others.
  • Dr. Audrey Sue Cruz (United States) – Dr. Cruz, a frontline worker from Las Vegas, NV, during the pandemic, joined forces with other Asian-American physicians to fight racial bias and discrimination.
  • Dr. Chika Stacy Oriuwa (Canada)- A psychiatry resident at the University of Toronto, Canada, Dr. Oriuwa has advocated against systemic racism in healthcare, which has been further highlighted by the pandemic.
  • Professor Sarah Gilbert (United Kingdom) – As a professor of vaccinology, Professor Gilbert led the development of the University of Oxford vaccine in the U.K.
  • Dr. Jaqueline Goes de Jesus (Brazil) – As a biomedical researcher, Dr. Goes is credited for leading the sequencing of the genome of a COVID-19 variant in Brazil.
  • Dr. Kirby White (Australia) – A General Practitioner in Australia, Dr. White co-founded the Gowns for Doctors initiative – by developing a PPE gown that could be laundered and re-used, allowing frontline workers in Victoria, AU to continue seeing patients during the pandemic.

Mattel also announced that for each eligible doctor, nurse and paramedic doll sold at Target through August, Barbie will donate $5 to the First Responder Children’s Foundation, which benefits children of first responders. The organization plans to use the money to support the Power of Play Program, which focuses on the social, emotional and behavioral well-being of children.

Along with the current selection of medical dolls, you can also buy a new Fast Cast Clinic playset with a Barbie doctor doll and four play areas. Barbie can use an X-ray machine, check a patient on the exam table, create dough casts in the medical station and direct families to the gift shop. It’s available at retailers now for $49.99.

––Sarah Shebek

Featured image courtesy of Mattel

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People often say to me, “It must be so depressing seeing people’s marriages fall apart all around you every day. Does it affect your own marriage?” As surprising as it may sound, I think that being a divorce lawyer has had a pretty positive effect on my marriage. Here’s what I’ve learned that can help you and your partner avoid your own divorce preceedings.

1. Don’t Fight Dirty

The bigger benefit that I think I have learned from being a divorce attorney is that it has taught me to be very careful and controlled when my husband and I do get into arguments. I will consider the many times that a client will tell me a story of some fight she had with husband when she told him that if he does not stop doing X, Y, Z “He will never see the kids again” or the good ol’ “If you do not do X, Y, Z, I will take every last penny we have and fight you until you have nothing.”

2. Avoid the “D” Word

In the same vein as not fighting dirty, in all our years of marriage, I have also never used the “D” word during an argument. Not once have I threatened, hinted, or even used a word that rhymes with the word “divorce.” To me, if I ever said it or heard it, it would not be a lighthearted comment that I would simply brush off.

3. Make Quality Time Together a Priority

While most spouses had something in common and liked each other enough at one point to walk down that aisle, often those commonalities fall to the wayside over time. To try to maintain the Mr. & Mrs. status, my husband and I tried to institute a weekly date night.

No matter how you slice it, marriage is tough. Even the good ones are hard, and the difficult ones are even harder. There are going to be highs and lows and times when you really think your spouse is great and other times when you are like “eh.” It is important to be realistic about marriage and not compare your relationship to the pictures your high school nemesis posts on Facebook of her smiling children and handsome husband (she has probably already consulted with me, and trust me, her life is not so perfect).

—Jacqueline Newman has written THE NEW RULES OF DIVORCE: 12 Secrets to Protecting Your Wealth, Health, and Happiness and has appeared as an expert commentator on various television and radio shows and has been quoted as an expert in numerous publications.

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Jacqueline Newman is a divorce lawyer and matrimonial law expert. As managing partner of a top-tier 5th Avenue Manhattan law firm focused exclusively on divorce, her practice runs the gamut from prenups for high net worth people contemplating marriage to high conflict matrimonial litigation in dissolutions.