Being a San Francisco parent means you have a big heart and killer calves: you’ve hiked to the top of Nob Hill with a toddler in tow and we’re betting you’ve been on MUNI one too many times while pregnant. If you’re looking for boy baby names or girl baby names, from the Bay Bridge to Ocean Beach, we’ve revisited our favorite city’s streets and neighborhoods for some adorable baby name inspiration. Read on for the list!

Alma

Alma de Bretteville Spreckels was an old-school SF socialite and philanthropist who—along with her husband Adolph—gifted the city many an iconic institute including the Legion of Honor. Most famously, though, she’s the model for the statue in the middle of Union Square (Dewey Monument).

Andreas

There’s no reward without a little risk, and SF residents know that the San Andreas fault runs right through our city. It keeps us on our toes, like your little guy might! 

Angelou (or Maya)

The famous poet, activist and author who was awarded over 50 honorary degrees in her lifetime, was also the first African-American streetcar operator in San Francisco.

Ashbury

You have to be okay with a certain “aesthetic” to name your kid after this iconic street but you’ll likely get a free-thinker on your hands. Plus we think Ash is just the cutest nickname.

Bart

What could be more SF than naming your kid after the Bay Area Rapid Transit train?

Bay

The city by the bay couldn’t get more recognizable in this local name that also makes a perfect middle name, too.  

Broderick

You know it as the street, but did you also know it’s the last name of an abolitionist senator who died as a result of a wound inflicted during the last known duel within the boundaries of SF? Well, you do now. 

Cesar (or Chavez)

Both names pay homage to Cesar Estrada Chavez, a fierce fighter for civil and labor rights who co-founded (along with Dolores Huerta) National Farm Workers in 1962. You also know it as the name of what was once known as Army Street.  

Charlotte

For Charlotte L. Brown, who was one of the first people in the US to legally challenge racial segregation. In the 1860s Charlotte was removed (by force) from a horse-drawn street car for being a person of color. She filed a lawsuit. It took several years, but in 1865 she won.

Clayton

One of San Francisco’s lovelier streets, it’s also one of the shorter streets, starting at Fulton and winding its way up Ashbury Heights toward Twin Peaks where it affords some pretty stunning views.  

Clement

Home to a diverse array of foods and one of the best neighborhood farmer’s market in the City, we love the idea of naming a kiddo this and calling him Clem for short. Name for Roswell Clement who is often credited for the idea of creating Golden Gate Park.

Cliff

For something with a little versatility, this “regular” name comes from the iconic Cliff House (did you know they have the best breakfast biscuits in the West?). The Cliff House burned down in 1907 but was rebuilt, and rebuilt again to become the more modern structure that stands today.

Cole

Cole Valley has a rep for being one of the most kid-friendly hoods in the city, so why not name your kiddo for it, too?

Dolores

It’s not just a beautiful street name or your favorite park. It’s the namesake of the first mission in SF (which is also home to one of the only cemeteries within the city proper). Even more fun, it’s also the name of Dolores Huerta, who fought for migrant worker rights and co-founded National Farm Workers in 1962.

Duboce

This street and park are part of every N-Judah rider’s commute. Named after a colonel in command during the Spanish-American War (Victor Duboce). As long as you pronounce it right, you’ve got a sweet-sounding name that has a Parisian tinge to it.

Francisco or Francis

This is probably the most overlooked but most obvious name for any kid hailing from our city’s boundaries.

Gavin

Most people recognize him as Governor of California, but once upon a time, Gavin Newsom was our fair city’s mayor.

Geary

Why choose Gary when you can go with the totally San Francisco variation, Geary? One of the longest, cross-town streets in the city, Geary Blvd. takes you from Market Street all the way out to the ocean (and so does the 38!).

Harvey

Harvey Bernard Milk was the city’s first openly gay official, elected to the Board of Supervisors in 1951. Today we remember Harvey Milk for his courage and tenacity in standing out by standing up—a true San Francisco attitude. 

Hayes

It’s a valley, it’s a street and at one time was the last name of a prominent SF family. We think it would be an adorable first name, too.

Jack (London, Kerouac, Hirschman)

This classic name has plenty of SF-appeal: Jack London spent quite a bit of time in San Francisco throughout his years living at Beauty Ranch in Glen Ellen; Jack Kerouac became an adopted literary son of the city through the Beat Generation and Jack Hirschman was named SF Poet Laureate in 2006.

Juana

Want to name her something fierce? How about naming her after Juana Briones y Tapia de Miranda, the first female property owner in the state of California. She was born in Santa Cruz, of Spanish and African descent, and raised in the Presidio where she became known for being a healer and midwife.

Kamala

Before she was Vice President of the United States, Kamala Harris was San Francisco’s District Attorney from 2004 to 2011. She was born in Oakland and received her law education both at Howard University in D.C. and right in SF at the Hastings College of Law. 

Karl/Carl

If you’ve lived in SF anytime in the last decade, you likely follow Karl the Fog on Twitter. If not, newsflash: after all these years, our beloved fog has its own name. The “C” variant is also an SF street name.

Lawrence 

The founder of City Lights, the iconic North Beach bookstore and world-renowned publishing company, Lawrence Ferlinghetti turned 100 in 2019. To celebrate, the city of SF declared his birthday, March 24, officially “Lawrence Ferlinghetti Day.” Name your kid after this guy and we can promise spontaneous poetry will become a household thing. 

Leola

Leola King, aka the Queen of Fillmore, opened her first nightclub in the 1950s, back when Black-owned and women-owned businesses were scarce. She became a highly successful businesswoman and owned several properties and nightclubs, including the Birdcage. Her clubs hosted greats like Louis Armstrong and Ella Fitzgerald, helping establish the Fillmore District as the Harlem of the West.

Lillie

This perfectly sweet name has a pretty fierce backstory: Lillie Hitchcock Coit was a champion of SF firefighters and the benefactress who gave us the iconic Coit tower. Known also as Firebelle Lil, she was considered an eccentric woman who smoked cigars, wore pants (back when ladies weren’t supposed to) and gambled in male-only houses around North Beach.

Lombard

You love this crazy, curvy street every time your tourist relatives insist on snapping photos in front of it. It also makes a snazzy first or second name for a boy or a girl.

Lotta

The nickname of Charlotte Crabtree, Lotta was raised in the foothills of Grass Valley, CA during the gold rush where she honed her theatrical skills. Though she did perform frequently in San Francisco, her real legacy is Lotta’s Fountain—at Market and Kearny, the site of annual gatherings every April 18 to commemorate the Great Earthquake of 1906. Lotta frequently donated the money she earned as a stage performer for charities or to beautify the city she loved so well. 

Lowell

Lowell High School is the oldest public high school west of the Mississippi. It was founded in 1856 as the Union Grammar School but became Lowell in 1894. Though it was separated by genders for a time in its early history, Lowell High School was open to both boys and girls 1866.

Marina or Marin 

If you like the neighborhood you’ll love the name, but don’t forget it also means “of the sea” so it’s fitting for an SF kiddo no matter their zipcode. Alternatively, you could go with Marin, for our neighbors to the north.

Noe

Named for José de Jesús Noé, he served twice as alcade (essentially, a mayor) of Yerba Buena. One of his last acts while serving—along with Lt. Bartlett of the US Navy—was to officially rename Yerba Buena as San Francisco. At one time he owned land that covered much of what we now know as Noe Valley, Eureka Valley, Fairmont Heights, Glen Park and Sunnyside.

Posey

While he’s not a native SF-er, Giants catcher #28, Buster Posey, is as iconic an SF name as they come.

Vicki 

Vicki Manalo Draves was born in San Francisco, Vicki was the first woman ever to win two gold medals during one single Olympics. In 1948, not only did she receive two gold medals in diving, she also became the first Asian American ever to win a gold medal.

William or Willie (Brown, Leidesdorff, Mays)

Willie Brown was the 41st mayor of San Francisco and the city’s first-ever African American mayor. William Leidesdorff was an African-American who sailed to SF from the Virgin Islands in 1841 and became a respected, prominent businessman and politician. Willie Mays, one of the greatest baseball players of all time, spent his primary years playing (14 years) playing for the SF Giants (you’ll find his statue in front of AT&T—we mean Oracle—park). 

Make sure to capture all the adventures with your little San Franciscan—and share them with your family and friends near and far—with the Tinybeans app. The secure platform puts parents in total control of who sees and interacts with photos and videos of their kids.

Frozen carbon dioxide, a.k.a. dry ice, is frozen at a temperature of negative 109 degrees Fahrenheit

Experimenting with ice is cool. But dry ice experiments are even cooler! Unlike the ice cubes in your freezer, dry ice doesn’t melt into liquid. Instead, these blocks sublimate, which means instead of transforming from a solid to a liquid, dry ice goes from a solid to a gas. With the proper precautions, this type of science experiment for kids is safe—so grab gloves and tongs, open a window or take the CO2 outdoors, follow these guidelines from the National Weather Service, and check out these awesome dry ice experiments. 

Blow Up a Balloon

dry ice science experiment from Science Kiddo
Science Kiddo

The air from your lungs isn’t the only way to blow up a balloon. This chilly experiment from Science Kiddo helps your budding scientist explore the properties of dry ice. 

 

Build a Volcano

dry ice science experiment from Life with Moore Learning
Life with Moore Learning

Check out this awesome overflowing dry ice volcano experiment from Life with Moore Learning! As if this isn’t enough fun, you'll also get a step-by-step guide to help your kids compare regular ice with dry ice and other freezing explorations.

Plan a Potion

dry ice experiments
iStock

Whether you want to make a witch’s brew for your family's Halloween monster bash or you just want to mix up a cool (literally) concoction, Our Best Bite’s Mad Scientist Potion has everything you need to make a mocktail that’s overflowing with fog.

Related: 70+ Easy Science Experiments for Kids to Try at Home

Find Fog—Magically

Jeff Kingma via Unsplash

Make your own at-home outdoor fog machine with two ingredients—dry ice and hot water. Remember, dry ice doesn’t melt into a liquid. Instead, it sublimates or turns into a vapor. Place blocks of dry ice into a glass or bucket of hot water and then stand back and watch as the fog pours across your yard!

Put Out a Candle

put out a candle as part of a dry ice experiment
Sixteen Miles Out via Unsplash

Can dry ice help extinguish a candle quickly? Your littles can easily blow out their bday cake candles, but have they ever used dry ice to make a flame go away? Head over to Life with Moore Learning for the how-to steps to this easy science exploration.

Make a Bubble Ball

Aaron Burden via Unsplassh

How can your kids make a crystal ball? Gather a few pieces or pellets of dry ice, a bowl, dish soap and a kitchen towel. Put the dry ice into the bowl, add hot water and watch the fog show begin. Even though this is exciting, it’s not where the experiment ends. Dip the dish towel into a soapy solution, and spread it around the rim of the bowl. Gently pull the soap-soaked towel across the bowl and watch as a ball-like bubble emerges in front of your eyes. 

Compare and Contrast

Dry Ice Experiments
Erica Loop

How does dry ice melt? The answer isn't regular ice. While you might already know this, your child doesn’t. Freeze water, juice, soda, milk, and any other liquid you want. Put the frozen liquid cubes on plates and create a comparison plate with dry ice. Watch each ice option carefully. Your child can jot down what happens to each piece of ice and when. 

Related: It’s Alive! Gross (But Cool) Science Experiments for Kids

Inflate a Glove

Diana Polekhina via Unsplash

If you have boxes of plastic or latex gloves hanging around your home, forget about cleaning. It’s time to put these gloves to scientific use, as they are a great substitute for balloons. Drop a shred of dry ice into the glove, tie the end and watch it magically grow. Hint: Don’t use too much dry ice for this experiment. A pellet will do. Overdoing it with the frozen CO2 might create too much gas, causing the glove to burst.

Bubbles and More Bubbles

Cristian Palmer via Unsplash

You’ve covered dry ice with water and watched it fog. But what happens if you put the frozen CO2 into a bath of bubbles? Use your kiddo’s paddling pool or fill the sand table with a water and bubble solution or dish soap mix. Ask your child to predict what will happen as the dry ice sublimates. Observe the bubbles as the CO2 gas fills the water and moves into suds.

Magical Disappearing Ice

dry ice experiments
iStock

When regular ice melts it leaves behind a puddle, but the same isn't true for dry ice. Again, the sublimation process causes it to turn into a gas state. Help your child learn more about the states of matter with easy observation-based science exploration. Place a piece of dry ice in a bowl outside on a warm day or in the sun. Ask your child to predict what they think will happen to the dry ice. Go back later in the day and take a look at the bowl. Like magic, the ice is gone, and nothing is left behind. Discuss what happened. Your child can hypothesize where the ice went and why there is no water in the bowl. 

Related: 6 Incredibly Easy Rainbow Science Experiments

 

 

The day my daughter died was the darkest day of my life. There is nothing that can prepare you for waddling into an ultrasound, eight months pregnant, and having a doctor look into your terrified eyes as he says, “I’m sorry, but there’s no heartbeat.”

As the ground fell out from underneath me, a fog filled my brain that wouldn’t leave for months. Big, heavy tears clouded my vision as I survived the next 36 hours—long hours as I waited for my husband to fly home, as I labored through the birth I had dreamed of my whole life (this was nothing like I had dreamed of), as I held my beautiful, perfect, 6 lb 9 oz daughter Layla. Every time I blinked, dreams rolled down my face, soaking my shirt like the milk that would come in days later, my body unaware that there was no baby to feed.

As I was wheeled out of the hospital in the darkness of night, clutching a pillow, I felt certain I would never, ever feel the sunshine on my face again. How could I? The last package I received in the mail was art for my daughter’s nursery, You Are My Sunshine, My Only Sunshine. My bones felt as cold as my belly did empty. My husband tucked me into bed where I’d stay for a week that followed, unable to speak a word to anyone.

But we lived in Southern California—even in November, you can only hide from the sun for so long. After a week, we took our first walk. I pulled my hooded sweatshirt over my head, blocking the world from my peripheral vision, as I focused on the two-block walk to the beach. We walked straight to the shoreline and set three paper cranes that we had folded at her baby shower out to sea. Wishes from loved ones, never to be read. The sun burned like lightning on the back of my sweatshirt as I retreated for safety.

It was in the months that followed that I learned of the term rainbow baby—a name given to a baby born shortly after the loss of a previous baby due to miscarriage, stillbirth, or death in infancy. This term is used because a rainbow typically follows a storm, giving us hope for what’s to come.

My baby was not a storm. But the days and weeks and months that followed losing her were. And like a storm, my grief swirled and changed every day, starting as a constant downpour and eventually slowing to a drizzle. Until, one day, a small stream of light.

Pregnancy after loss is terrifying. It is living face to face with your worst fear and knowing that there is nothing you can do to change the outcome. You survive every day by focusing on that small stream of light, even as the clouds try and overwhelm you, threatening rain just around the corner.

photo of woman after birth in hospital bed

Photo: Laura Malcolm

And then one day, one year and six days after the rain started, the clouds parted and let the sun beamed in. I held my newborn son and felt the warmth my body had missed. I squinted into the sun as I was wheeled out of the same hospital doors, in the brightness of day, and the world had never looked so colorful. So full of hope.

My rainbow baby.

I now have two little boys who fill my life with more color (and noise) than I could have ever imagined. We talk about their sister and celebrate her life and yes, throw rainbow-themed birthday parties because they brought the sun to shine right along with the rain—and without both of those, there wouldn’t be rainbows.

This post was written by Laura Malcolm and originally appeared on Give InKind.

Give InKind is an intelligent social support platform that helps friends and family coordinate tangible, financial, and emotional support for those who need it. Our custom Care Calendar + Wishlist + Fundraising in one free tool is making support simple. From new babies to cancer support, Give InKind.

Motherly is branching into the furniture realm! The website for moms has just announced their new furniture line, the Timeless Collection by Motherly.

This line is unique because it combines sleek and minimalistic style with pieces that have the ability to grow with your child. Want to buy just one bed from crib to full for your kiddo? This is the line for you.

photo: Courtesy of Motherly

As of now, you can shop four pieces that include a Mini Crib and Mattress ($250), 5-in-1 Crib and Playhouse ($450), Glider with a USB port ($400) and a six-drawer dresser with changer topper ($400). Choose between white or brushed fog finishes for the crib and playhouse to match your style perfectly.

To purchase visit the Motherly Shop at Mother.ly. or Target.com in late January.

––Karly Wood

 

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Photo: Caitlyn Viviano

I used to love being busy! I would consistently overschedule myself starting as a young teen. From the moment I opened my eyes to the minute I crawled into bed I was working, going to school, volunteering, socializing, or a combination of all of the above. My “to-do” lists were long and my energy was high.

Then I left my job to be a stay at home mom and my life took a sharp turn. My first child never slept, had colic, and needed to be held or bounced around the clock. My days blurred into nights and there was no end in sight. For two years I was stuck in a thick fog that I couldn’t seem to crawl out of. This was not the picture-perfect stay at home mom gig I had always dreamed of. I was constantly busy but never felt productive, and lacked confidence in my ability as a new mom. My mind was constantly busy with worry and postpartum anxiety crept in to steal my joy. I was barely treading water. Then my daughter was diagnosed with Autism two months after her 2nd birthday and all our constant struggles started to make sense. It wasn’t supposed to be this hard 24/7.

I felt robbed of that “new motherhood bliss” I kept hearing and reading about. It was a pain that ran deep and infiltrated every aspect of my life. My marriage was strained, I didn’t want to leave the house, my career was nonexistent because there was no extra money for childcare, and every ounce of energy I had went to helping Chloe. Then I was blessed with my son Daniel, and he healed me in ways I never knew possible. He ate, he slept, he smiled and happily babbled. I felt like I could breathe again and feel joy the second time around. He taught me I was stronger than I knew, and autism wouldn’t break me but rather shape me. Chloe began to make great progress thanks to early intervention and an amazing team of teachers and therapists. I am eternally grateful for the help and resources we received. We wouldn’t be where we are today without them.

Fast forward and I now have three children. My son Levi was born last year and completed our family of five. He brings so much laughter and happiness to our lives and keeps us on our toes. Our house is always messy. If you walked in the front door on any given weekday you would see toys, puzzles, and legos scattered everywhere with a few dog toys mixed in. There would be laughter, singing, running, and a whole lot of chaos. We are home 90% of the time. Some days seem very mundane and I long for those productive workdays I once had. I am still always busy, but never seem to accomplish much either. Some days being productive means doing three loads of laundry, pumping, washing dishes, and doing an art project with the kids. While other days I can’t seem to come up for air or even brush my hair.

When my anxiety is high I decided to get down on the floor and play with my kids and remember how important this work at home truly is. The mess can wait. Making memories and snuggling them when I can comes first.

One day my “busy” will change again I will look back longingly on this chapter and give anything to go back in time. That’s the funny thing about motherhood, our kids keep us eternally busy, and exhausted yet so many of us feel invisible, lacking purpose and unappreciated. The world tells us we must do it all and exude bliss. Yet at the end of the day, it’s healthy to express our feelings, whatever they may be at that moment. We are human. We shouldn’t feel ashamed if we don’t feel positive emotions daily.

Our feelings are valid and should be heard. Raising tiny humans is hard! It’s okay to be a stay-at-home mom and miss the busyness and productivity of the workforce. It’s okay to be a working mom and miss the quiet morning snuggles and afternoons at the park. It’s okay to want more just as it’s fine to want less busyness. No one can tell you how to feel on this rollercoaster that is motherhood. Seasons change, children grow up, and our feelings evolve with the times. Ultimately finding others who understand the array of feelings many moms and caretakers go through made all the difference. It helped me feel less alone in this simply complicated life of ours.

Caitlyn is a military spouse and mom to three children and one fur baby. She was an elementary school counselor before becoming a stay at home who enjoys coffee, hiking, and playing in the dirt with her kids. 

Working from home indefinitely is a significant adjustment for many, especially for parents balancing distance learning and remote work. A new survey found that 75 percent of at-home U.S. workers are experiencing an increased sense of digital overload. Many are not reimbursed for remote work essentials which is an added burden for parents paying for home learning supplies. 

As many navigate a new work style that can feel “always on”, Paper & Packaging – How Life Unfolds surveyed 2,000 new at-home workers to learn more about the impact of their changing work environment on productivity and mental wellness.

The report contributes to research on the long-term impact of remote work and helps companies understand their workers’ evolving needs. It reveals a surprising trend: as workplaces move online, an overwhelming number are experiencing digital overload, turning to analog tools to mitigate the effects of screen fatigue.

zoom

Commenting on the study, productivity and digital detox expert Holland Haiis noted, “When working from home, we tend to use multiple devices simultaneously. This not only causes greater digital fatigue, it increases eye strain, and we tend to experience brain fog much earlier in the day. Turning to analog tools is a natural impulse: switching to paper and pen allows the brain to relax, and have the white space for problem-solving.”

Working from home exacerbates digital overload as messaging, emailing and video conferencing have become the primary means of communication.“Using paper during virtual calls allows your brain to focus on what’s most important. When it’s written on paper, you’re able to stay in the conversation, as opposed to using another device and falling down the technology rabbit hole,” said Holland.

Many are reaching for analog tools to refocus, turning to pencil and paper to give their eyes a break from the screen. Printing documents allows workers to rely less on their devices and gives their brains a much needed break from technology.

With the possibility that working from home may be here to stay, many people are investing money in their home offices. Not all employers are reimbursing their workers for office essentials. The top items that have not been reimbursed are pens, pencils, notebooks and sticky notes. 

On top of coping with digital fatigue and virtual communication overload, distractions are also coming from within the physical work-from-home environment. Over a third of respondents blamed their diminished productivity on distractions created by the people they live with.Many cited distractions such as deliveries or construction noise. Others lost productivity due to not having the correct tools. 

—Jennifer Swartvagher

Featured photo: Gabriel Benois on Unsplash

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Parenting in the time of coronavirus is like walking a blind dog down a dark alley while wearing sunglasses. There is a lot of bumping into walls, crying, and flailing around, trying to grab hold of something seemingly sturdy or concrete. It’s a whole new type of parenting. Scary, weird, aimless, and sprinkled with impulsive maniacal laughter. Or is that just me?  

The floor has been pulled out from under us. Nothing fits anymore. We are in crisis mode, doing our best but likely letting go of some higher standards we once held when we possessed the time, energy, and wherewithal to enforce them. Frankly, the things we used to fret about, like an early bedtime and a low screen limit, have turned into rules working against us in our utterly unchartered lives. Late bedtimes are in, or rather, no bedtimes. And screen time is more like the best time and, sure, have another hour or two, kiddos. Because what else is there for you to do? All of the stress, confusion, emotional exhaustion, life responsibilities, and oh yeah, the lurking coronavirus threatening every move we make, can cause a parent to feel like a spinning cap trying not to spin out of control.

Rest assured, if you have felt any of this, you are not alone. If at any point you have found yourself sinking into guilt or anxiety over the difficulty of balancing everything on your shoulders, or your new habit of letting your kids eat popsicles for breakfast, try not to worry. You have not failed them. If you’re freaking out about how all of the mandates and changes in the schools and communities will affect your kids, take a deep breath. Fear and worry can grab ahold quickly when we doubt ourselves and feel lost in a forest of fog and trees too high to see the sky. Remember, the sky is there. It has not abandoned us. Reach deeper into the darkness for hope and light, and look deeper into yourself and trust that you already have everything inside of you that you need to get through this. You are a good parent.

Ask yourself these questions about ways you may already be weaving strong bonds and cultivating resiliency in your kids to help them strive despite having to go through hard times such as this:

1. Do I hug my kids?
2. Do I tell them I love them?
3. Do I laugh with my kids?
4. Do I listen to them when they have something to say?
5. Do I ask them questions about who they are, what they like, what they think, and how they feel?
6. Do my eyes light up when they walk into the room?
7. Do I compliment their hair, st‌yle of clothes, ideas, and little things they do?
8. Do I read to my kids?
9. Do I show them trust and respect?
10. Do I spend time with them?
11. Do I know their love language and try to try to show love in that way?
12. Do I keep boundaries for safety and security even if some of the other limitations like bedtime and screen time are a little looser?
13. Do I talk about my feelings and validate theirs?
14. Do I show interest in their interests?
15. Do I apologize when I make mistakes?
16. Do I help them when they need help?
17. Do I get support for my kids’ mental and behavioral health needs?
18. Do I hold them when they need to be held?
19. Do I try every day to do my best?
20. Do I forgive myself when the day is over, and it wasn’t perfect?
21. Do I wake up and do it all over again?

If you answered yes to most or even some of these, your kids are good hands. You are already doing the most important things during this new and bazaar situation that we are still trying to figure out how to handle.

This year will be hard, and school and sports will look different. Kids will not be doing all the things they were supposed to do. There may be a time when we have to catch up, or relearn some things, resocialize and process all the big feelings from all the days inside. That’s okay. Right now, talking, connecting, rolling on the floor, grabbing your belly laughing because a rerun of America’s Funniest Home Videos is on for the one-hundredth time, and it’s still hilarious, is the most important stuff right now. That’s enough. Hugs, hope, snuggling reading together, talking about whatever your kids want to talk about even if it makes your eyes roll into the back of your head with boredom, are the essential things. Good job. Keep going. Your kids are lucky to have you.

When you start to worry that your kids are missing out, or that you’re not ready to become a teacher 3-5 days a week because you have no clue how to teach a kindergartner to read and you don’t remember a single thing from fifth-grade social studies, close your eyes and wipe the sweat off your brow. Look back at times you thrived through adversity. Think about the hard places you’ve worked yourself out of, and the times in your life you grabbed hold of your spirit and grit and incredible sense of humor and made the most of a lackluster situation. These are the skills that serve you well in a long beautiful life. Your kids are learning everything they need to know about life right now from you, and they will be all the better for it.

Krissy Dieruf is a licensed marriage and family therapist. She lives in Minnesota with her husband and three children, loves to sing and dance around the house and has a soft spot for rebels and crazy hair. 

Dear Confessional,

I don’t think it’s a mid-life crisis moment that I went through, although some may say it could sound similar. I wasn’t depressed, I don’t think. I wasn’t sad in any way. Maybe bored a bit? Confused perhaps? Contemplating in some way. Whatever you want to call it, I was re-awakening, re-defining, re-evaluating, and emerging from my chrysalis as a new version of my former self. Yes, that’s the way I would describe it exactly.

The more that I speak to other moms, the more that I come to understand that this peculiar phase in motherhood is all too well shared, but often not verbalized. The term that I have coined for this strange, often temporary cloud, is the “Mommy Rut.”

Many of us have experienced some essence of this period. From lively 20-something year olds, we generally have a clear vision of our profession and then work our academic and professional lives until we get there. Marriage and babies enter the picture in a beautiful way, but then everything changes.

New moms are typically unprepared or forewarned for the way that parenthood reshapes a marriage, your personality, your long-term plan whether as a stay-at-home mom or returning to work. Balancing mommy life and wife-life, not to mention putting work on hiatus or returning a bit more exhausted and distracted, can take quite a toll. The sleep deprivation and cold meals, leftovers from the kids’ plates, or even eating standing up may not be how you would have envisioned this parenting scenario, even if you wouldn’t trade it for the world. Then just when you think that you’ve mastered your daily routine enough to leave the house before lunchtime and/or getting your bundle of kids to school on time, this new wave slams into you, head on.

Identifying the “Mommy Rut”

One morning, I returned home from dropping the kids off at school and realized that I stopped looking at myself in the mirror. I stopped smiling and laughing as much because I was so focused on keeping the kids safe, well-fed, on time, and house in order. I felt like a robot or drill sergeant. I didn’t have time for me. I didn’t look at myself anymore because it didn’t matter. Everything was about the kids, my husband, and my home.

When I finally did look in the mirror, I realized that I needed to re-focus and re-awaken out of this mom-fog. I wasn’t sad, and I wasn’t regretful even one molecule—perhaps I was a shell of former myself who was going through the motions, but not fulfilling my dreams, feeling energized, or really loving and accepting myself inside and out… because I didn’t have the time or the mental clarity. I was a semblance of myself without a “whole” definition.

That’s when I woke up and realized that I was in the midst of “Mommy Rut,” even in my 30-something years.

Taking Action

This was my chrysalis moment. I needed to do some deep soul-searching to figure out who I truly wanted to become and then devise a plan to make it happen. Something deep inside of me was itchy, and I didn’t know where to begin to change it, so I simply made this mental list and went from there.

Personal:

One thing was for certain—my mom-bod just didn’t do it for me. I wanted my 20-something vibe back. I wanted to look at myself and see the best version of me. So I did.

  • I started by not being the human garbage disposal (GDS syndrome) and was more careful about what I put into my mouth. Every extra handful counts!
  • I made myself a priority too and made sure that my meals were warm and sitting down. I ate more often and in smaller portions. My mouthfuls were nutritionally meaningful—not a handful of emotional carb-stuffing to justify a mom time-out.
  • I dressed to impress MYSELF, even if my 20-something fashion evolved a bit since. I wanted to feel good about who I saw in the mirror, inside and out. * I rallied myself around a great group of mom friends from the kids’ school and made it a point to be social. After all, girl friends are the best people to relate. They just get it—and it feels good to not feel like you’re on an island of mommy moments.
  • I became more active and joined Zumba. Not only did I love the excuse for an extra social hour, but I also toned up and got to get my jam on.

Fun Mom:

Perhaps the most disgruntling feeling was not feeling fun anymore. I know I can be, but somehow along the way I lost it a little when my main focus was keeping the peace, and maintaining health and safety of the troop. I felt more like a crossing guard/cafeteria monitor than a fun parent. Something had to change.

  • I stopped raising my voice so much. I allowed the children to make mistakes and earn consequences that were there’s alone. My tone remained supportive, centered, and loving. I stopped being a Dr. Jekyll & Momma Hyde parent.
  • I put my phone down and engaged more.
  • I put the dishes and laundry away later so that I could be more present.
  • I created personal projects with the children so we could have special moments together and feel proud.
  • I played more music in the house, and we all danced more. We stopped living in a glass house.
  • We cooked together more, and the kids were given more responsibilities to feel engaged, helpful, and appreciated.
  • I spent more time with each child before bedtime to talk about every detail from the day.

Marriage Boost:

Every marriage goes through exciting waves of intimacy and emotional connection, and also hits a few lulls along the way. Those lulls seem to lend to a lot of butting heads too. Sometimes the inside rut causes a stale vibe with others too. I needed to get out of the funk and feel sexy and supportive again.

  • I stopped creating expectations for how I would do things, and stepped back. I became more appreciative and thankful.
  • I offered ways for my husband to succeed with the children, instead of criticizing.
  • I opened up more about my anxieties, fears, concerns, and leaned on my best friend, husband, for support.
  • Intimacy became often and incredible, and so we connected more in the everyday.
  • We began messaging each other encouraging and loving notes throughout the day.

Professional Prowess:

I loved my number one job of being a total full-time mom. I’m not complaining at all, but honestly, that former part of myself that dressed up for work and felt professional with real adults using big vocabulary was missing a bit. I wanted to do something that was just mine, just for me. I needed to make a plan for a professional role that wouldn’t get in the way of my main, most important job of parenting, availability, and flexibility for the kids.

  • I redefined my honest and deep professional aspirations. I spoke to peers and friends, and discovered new ideas.
  • I made a plan and began in small steps. I focused only on the tasks for that day and made sure to conquer them, one step and a time.
  • I took chances. I constantly risked rejection and put myself out on the line, over and over again. My passion for my profession drives and compels me to be unstoppable, whether I win some or loose some.
  • My vision started to become realized and grow, expand. I was finally chasing—and catching—my dream job.

Effects of Digging Out

Something incredible started to happen over the last couple of months. I started to smile again. I started to laugh whole-heartedly. I started to feel happy, sexy, proud, fulfilled, and loved—not just by those who surrounded me—but by my own person. My family feels it too.

You see, I emerged from that chrysalis. I opened my eyes from that mom-fog—“Mommy Rut”—and rediscovered myself again. There was no more guilt, no more frustration, no more discomfort in action or inaction, and no self-doubt. I felt free, and it feels right. I was succeeding in every facet, because I defined my needs, made a plan, made the change, and started to feel whole once again.

Test it out and make a plan. You deserve to look, feel, and be your best. Love yourself, and you will then find the ability to love everyone else with your entire core.  As for me, I am proud to settle in my new butterfly suit… and soar.   

with Love,

Ruthi

Ruthi Davis is a the Founder of Ruth Davis Consulting LLC with over two decades of success in advertising/marketing, media/publicity, business development, client relations, and organizational optimization for a variety of clients. Ruthi is a proud mom and influencer in the parenting and family market as founder of the Superfly Supermom brand.

Even though actress Keira Knightley hasn’t officially announced the birth of her new baby, she did talk to BBC Breakfast’s Louise Minchin about what life’s like with her newborn.

Celeb mamas are just like us. They’re short on time, in a brain fog and don’t always get the chance to look like the superstar they already are.

During her interview with Minchin, Knightley joked, “This is about the third time since I gave birth that my hair has been brushed—and I didn’t brush it.” The actress went on to add, “Lovely Luke, who is my hairdresser today, he brushed it. I was in my pajamas when they got there and this is somebody else’s dress.”

If you have any illusions that Knightley’s photo-ready look just happens, the new mama (for the second time) shared, “So it’s all smoke and mirrors today, which I’m super happy about, but I’ve just sort of been led here.”

This is the second child for Knightley and husband James Righton. The couple are parents to four-year-old daughter Edie. As of now there’s no word on Knightley’s newest child’s name.

—Erica Loop

Featured photo: In Style via Instagram 

 

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The bustling harbor around San Francisco’s landmark Ferry Building can easily become your kiddo’s favorite spot to disembark when you are in the know about where to go. Cruise the Ferry Building and its plaza and you’ll find ferries and fireboats, produce and playgrounds, adventure and history, and more. Here are our picks for what to see, do, and explore at this popular waterfront hub.

photo: Kate Loweth

View from the Bay
Built in 1898, the Ferry Building is located at the end of Market Street, with a sprawling plaza between. Vintage streetcars (which take you down to Pier 39 and Fisherman’s Wharf) use the plaza for turn-around. You can arrive at the Ferry Building by bus, streetcar, car, or boat. The west side, along the Embarcadero boasts market stand on Tuesdays and Thursdays, and the east side is host to the Saturday farmer’s market. The east side is also where the ferries dock. Look (and listen) for its turn-of-the-century clock tower.

photo: Amber Guetebier

Romp
However you get there, hungry and thirsty troops can head straight inside. The more energized set can head south toward the Bay Bridge. Watch for info kiosks about sea life, as well as the historical signage and embedded sidewalk plaques which are part of the Barbary Coast Trail. Your little ones will look mighty small compared to the giant sculpture of a Bow and Arrow.

photo: Amber Guetebier

Head a little further south to check out SFPD’s Station 35, home of the fireboats! You’ll be likely to spot the fire-engine too. Be sure and look for the Popeye logo on the side. Once you’ve appeased your mini-heroes, head back toward the Ferry Building, making a stop at Pier 14 to get a new perspective of the fire-boats and ferry terminals.

photo: Kate Loweth

Chomp
Come here hungry. In addition to stalls teeming with fresh produce, there are dozens of restaurants and food stands in and around the Ferry Building. Kids will love the Cowgirl Creamery grilled cheeses and Acme Bread Company offers an array of sandwiches. On weekends you can find the most divine biscuits (bacon maple is our favorite) at Biscuit Bender. This weekend-only stand is located right next to MIJITA. Take your noshes out to a bench and watch the ferries come and go.

photo: Kate Loweth

For a more sophisticated sit-down meal, we definitely recommend you booking a table at Boulettes Larder. Offering breakfast, lunch and everyone’s favorite Sunday brunch, the entrees focus on fresh, local ingredients and the Bloody Marys come with a kick. Nab a table on the water side and don’t forget to save room for the beignets—they are out of this world!

photo: Kate Loweth

The line at Humphry Slocombe shows that Ferry Building visitors know a good thing when they see it. Expect to find innovative flavors here with Blue Bottle Vietnamese Coffee and Secret Breakfast (bourbon and cornflakes) being local favorites and Malted Milk Chocolate a kid fave.

FerryBuilding-Bike-Rentals

photo: Amber Guetebier

Shop
The Book Passage has a wonderful kid’s section that includes tiny chairs and a small selection of toys and puppets. Kids will appreciate the wild variety of mushrooms at Far West Fungi and the Ferry Buildings boat-centric goodies at Bay Crossings.

Fog City Flea
Fog City Flea brings an eclectic lineup of makers and merchants from the Bay Area and beyond offering handcrafted jewelry, apparel, accessories, apothecary, housewares, furnishings, and well-edited vintage. Curated exclusively for the Ferry Building by the team behind Upstate New York’s renowned Phoenicia Flea, Fog City Flea takes place Sundays from 10 a.m. to 5 p.m. through November 17, 2019.

Flea market shoppers are invited to bring along the whole family and experience the Flea Circus Kids’ Activity Area, which includes face painting, arts and crafts stations, a coloring zone, a Lego zone, games and more, with a weekly rotating theme. Tickets for the Flea Circus will be available for $10 per guest and cover all activities. The Flea Circus will be held every Sunday through November 17 from 10 a.m. to 4 p.m. at the foot of the front staircase leading up to the Grand Hall, where Fog City Flea takes place.

photo: Kate Loweth

Stomp (and Roll)
Burn off that second scoop at Sue Bierman playground. Located across the street (and just north) from the Ferry Building, this picture-perfect playground includes a killer view of Coit Tower. The area along the Embarcadero is awesome for skates, scooters, and bikes. Bike rentals are available near the front of the building.

photo: Kate Loweth

Another fun area to run around is at the Vaillancourt Fountain, located right next to Sue Bierman Park. It’s a nice cool spot to sit with a picnic while the kids follow the concrete steps behind the falling water. Don’t miss a visit to the always-free San Francisco Railway Museum, a great place to learn about this area’s history. It’s located right next to the fountain in the same building as the Hotel Vitale.

photo: Kate Loweth

Go Beyond
Still want more? Travel north on the Embarcadero and you’ll find the Exploratorium. It’s an easy walk from the Ferry Building and you can grab a pedicab for tired legs on the way back. Travel south on the Embarcadero to the South Beach neighborhood, just a few blocks past the Bay Bridge, and you’ll find the home of the SF Giants, Oracle Park.

Henrik-points-at-ships-ferryplaza-sf
Getting There
Nearly every transit line in the city converges nearby. You can take MUNI, BART (to Embarcadero station), or hop on a ferry if you are coming from the North, East, or South Bay. There are also a handful of parking garages and metered parking. This is a hot-spot for tickets, so watch the time limit even if you’ve pumped the meter with quarters!

photo: Kate Loweth

Make it a Staycation
We love the Hotel Vitale for it’s perfect location right across the street from the Ferry Building. You’ll get Bay views from the roof decks and loads of activities for families right around the corner. Parents can relax with massages at the on-site spa. Kids will especially love the Embarcadero Explorers Package that comes with four tickets to the Exploratorium, kids binoculars to scope out the Bay Bridge and a fun gift bag that includes a kids’ Giants hat, SF puzzle, color-changing sunglasses and more.

Good to Know
There are two restrooms located in the Ferry Building. On Jackson Street at Davis, just a few blocks past the playground, there’s a Safeway and a less-crowded Starbucks. The Embarcadero Center also has public restrooms and more shopping.

Insider’s Tip: The farmers market is open three days a week—Tuesdays, Thursdays and Saturdays. Saturday market can get pretty crowded and navigating a stroller can be a challenge. There are free guided walking tours at noon on Tuesdays and Saturdays, courtesy sfcityguides.org.

San Francisco Ferry Building Marketplace
Online: ferrybuildingmarketplace.com

—Kate Loweth and Amber Guetebier

 

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