Last night was hard for you. I asked you to watch the baby so I could go to bed early. The baby was crying. Wailing, really. I could hear him from upstairs, and my stomach knotted from the sound, wondering if I should come down there and relieve you or just shut the door so I could get some desperately needed sleep. I chose the latter.
You came into the room 20 minutes later, with the baby still frantically crying. You placed the baby in the bassinet and gently pushed it just a few inches closer to my side of the bed, a clear gesture that you were done watching him.
I wanted to scream at you. I wanted to launch an epic fight that very moment. I had been watching the baby and the toddler all damn day. I was going to be waking up with the baby to feed him all damn night. The least you can do is hold him for a couple of hours in the evening so I can attempt to sleep.
Just a few hours of precious sleep. Is that too much to ask?
I know we both watched our parents fulfill the typical mother-father roles growing up. Both our mothers were the primary caretakers and our fathers were relatively hands-off. They were excellent dads, but they weren’t expected to spend a significant amount of time changing diapers, feeding, caring, and tending to the kids. Our mothers were the superwomen who maintained the family dynamics. Cooking, cleaning, and raising the children. Any help from dad was welcome but unexpected.
I see us falling into these family dynamics more and more each day. My responsibility to feed the family, keep the house clean, and take care of the kids is assumed, even as I return to work. I blame myself for most of it, too. I have set the precedent that I can do it. And in truth, I want to. No offense, but I’m not sure I want to know what a week’s worth of dinner would look like with you in charge.
I also see my friends and other moms doing it all, and doing it well. I know you see it, too. If they can manage it, and if our mothers did it so well for us, why can’t I?
I don’t know.
Maybe our friends are playing the part in public and secretly struggling. Maybe our moms suffered in silence for years and now, 30 years later, they simply don’t remember how hard it really was. Or maybe, and this is something I berate myself over every single day, I’m just not as qualified for the job as everyone else. And as much as I cringe just thinking it, I’m going to say it: I need more help.
Part of me feels like a failure for even asking. I mean, you do help. You are an amazing father, and you do a great job with the kids. And besides, this should come easy to me, right? Motherly instincts, no?
But I’m human and running on five hours of sleep and tired as hell. I need you.
In the morning, I need you to get our toddler ready so I can care for the baby and make everyone’s lunches and drink a cup of coffee. And no, getting the toddler ready does not mean plopping him in front of the TV. It means making sure he goes potty, giving him some breakfast, seeing if he wants water, and packing his bag for school.
At night, I need an hour to decompress in bed, knowing our toddler is asleep in his room and the baby is in your care. I know it’s hard to listen to the baby cry. Believe me, I know. But if I can watch and pacify the baby for the majority of the day, you can do it for an hour or two at night. Please. I need you.
On weekends, I need more breaks. Times when I can get out of the house by myself and feel like an individual. Even if it’s just a walk around the block or a trip to the grocery store. And some days when I’ve scheduled swim class and play dates, and it seems like I’ve got it all under control, I need you to offer to lend me a hand. Or suggest I go lie down during the kids’ naptime. Or start putting away the dishes without me suggesting it. I need you.
Lastly, I need to hear you’re grateful for all I do. I want to know that you notice the laundry is done and a nice dinner has been prepared. I want to know you appreciate that I breastfeed at all hours and pump when I’m at work when it would be easier for me to formula feed. I hope you notice that I never ask you to stay home from your networking events and sports activities. As the mom, it’s assumed I’ll be home all the time and always available to care for the kids while you’re out and I feed that assumption by, well, being home all the time.
I know it’s not how our parents did it, and I hate even asking. I wish I could do it all and make it look effortless. And I wish I didn’t need kudos for doing things most people expect from a mom. But I’m waving a white flag and admitting I’m only human. I’m telling you how much I need you, and if I keep going at the pace I’ve been on, I will break. And that would hurt you, the kids, and our family.
Hi! I’m Celeste. I consider myself a relatively new mom with two boys ages 4 and 2. Other titles I go by include: wife, health & wellness coach, marketing guru, avid reader (self-help books are my favorite), writer, travel/adventure seeker and fitness nut.
Here’s an easy way to explain the extra day to your kid
“What is leap year?” If you’ve heard that recently, and you’re wondering how to explain to your kiddos why there’s one extra day every four years, we’ve got easy answers. It’s simple (especially if they know how to count): Leap Year is all about keeping the calendar in sync with how long it takes Planet Earth to completely orbit the sun. And fun fact: It takes more than 365 days.
The earth takes almost six more hours to make its way around the sun. Add up those extra hours, and every four years, there’s an extra day on the calendar, which is where February 29th comes from.
The story of Leap Year goes way back to Julius Caesar, who added an extra day to February (this was the last month of the year in Roman times) over 2,000 years ago. However, his math wasn’t precise, and it wasn’t corrected until the Georgian calendar, which has a mathematical formula that keeps leap years in check. Yep, that means not every four years is necessarily a leap year! In layman’s terms, if the year is divisible by 100 but not 400, it’s not a leap year (e.g. 1900).
What does this mean if we didn’t have Leap Year? Well, dates would slowly shift, and eventually, the seasons would be way off. That could mean celebrating the 4th of July in the dead of winter!
And remember, while people born in February might be Leap Year babies, they can still celebrate on February 28th or March 1st!
Set up your child for a great start with this list of must-haves
Diapers? Check. Lunch? Check. A sleepy child? Check! If you’re wondering what to pack for daycare, and even if your childcare provider has a list of items kids will need on a typical day, some things can make all the difference in your little one’s day. From weather-appropriate gear to a family photo, here’s your handy daycare checklist of must-haves and why they’re important.
1. Labels Slap your kid’s name on everything, from bottles to clothes. We love Mabel’s Labels because they’re pre-printed with your child’s name, come in easy-to-use packs, and stay put through hundreds of washings. Put waterproof labels on your child’s bag, lunch bag, jacket, and inside shoes. If your child has food allergies, order allergy labels, too.
2. Bottles & Liquids Depending on how long your little one will be at daycare, you’ll need baby bottles plus breast milk or formula or, for older kids, a leak-proof water bottle. Be sure to pre-measure the formula. Most daycares have refrigerators or freezers available to keep liquids cold.
3. Lunch Bag & Bibs You’ll also need a lunch bag and bib if your little one eats solid food. An insulated lunch bag is best, as it keeps food cool and can be used later on for picnics and other excursions. We love the PackIt lunch bags with built-in cold packs.
4. Diapers & Wipes Gather up diapers in the right size, and send off as many as your little one will need at the start of each week, with a few extra just in case. It’s easiest to label diapers with a Sharpie. Be sure to send a labeled pack of wipes, too. And pack diaper cream if your little one is prone to rashes.
5. Spare Clothes Pack at least two spare outfits for your child. You never know when your little one will have a blowout or get food or art supplies on themselves, and childcare centers don’t usually have spare clothes in every size. Check the size and seasonality of the spare clothes in your bag every two or three months so your kiddo isn’t stuck in shorts two sizes too small in January. Oh, and don’t forget extra socks!
6. Medication If your child takes medication regularly, bring a brand new bottle with you in its original packaging. Most daycares have very specific requirements due to licensing and keeping little ones safe. Be sure to follow those requirements carefully so your baby’s medication is readily available and can be dispensed by daycare staff when needed.
7. Sunscreen & a Hat You want your baby’s skin protected during outdoor playtime, so packing baby-friendly sunscreen is a must. Send a labeled bottle of your favorite sunscreen, and add a sun hat for extra coverage.
8. Weather Gear Fresh air is brain food for babies, and most daycares bring kids outside as often as possible, even if it’s just for a few minutes. That means toddlers might stomp around in puddles or stare up at snowflakes. Pack weather-appropriate gear (boots, jackets, hats) so your little one is comfortable, no matter the weather.
9. A Family Photo Many daycares put family photos up on their walls or have them in a readily available photo album. Little ones love to look at pics of their family members—just like we do. Check with your child’s school to see if they have specific requirements for what types of photos to send.
10. Lovies Lovies make the transition from home to daycare a little easier, so it’s a must on our daycare checklist. Remember, while it’s a good idea to pack a favorite snuggly item, don’t send something irreplaceable (or buy a backup), as blankies can disappear. Also, ask if your daycare center has policies on what you can and can’t bring. Order a pair of matching lovies, like the snuggly offerings from Bunnies by the Bay, or the two-packs of security blankets from Copper Pearl, and you’ll be all set. A few days before the big drop-off day at daycare, hold the lovie to give it some of your comforting scent.
11. Lists of Your Little One’s Likes & Dislikes, Plus Paperwork Does your baby love a good lullaby before naps or hate avocados? Daycares usually send home paperwork that includes a getting-to-know-you child form, plus essential information like medical history and development and milestone updates. Fill out these forms and include any additional information your baby’s caregivers might need so they can take good care of your sweet babe.
Make sure to snap some photos of their first day of daycare—and share them with your family and friends near and far—with the Tinybeans app. The secure platform puts parents in total control of who sees and interacts with photos and videos of their kids.
It’s all about the little things when it comes to flying with a baby
You want to go places, but let’s face it: Your little bundle of joy may not be so joyous 15,000 feet up. Never fear, there’s no need to put off travel! Whether you’re trying to figure out where to sit on the plane or what you need to bring in your carry-on, we’ve compiled everything you need to know about flying with a baby to make your family’s jet-setting experience a little less bumpy. And if you’re looking for destination inspiration, check out our top spots to visit before the kids grow up.
First Things First: At What Age Can Your Baby Fly?
You may be ready to show off your new addition to long-distance relatives, but pediatricians recommend waiting until your baby is at least three months old—or had their first set of shots—before traveling by plane. Even though airplane air is filtered before it is recirculated, it is still a closed cabin full of people, and that might pose a challenge for brand-new immune systems. That said, common sense precautions are what doctors advise once babies are old enough to fly.
"In general, I think flying is relatively safe," said Los Angeles pediatrician Elle Raker. "I’d prefer everyone else was still masking, but unfortunately, that’s changed." Raker recommends maintaining social distancing when traveling, if possible, and keeping your hands and nearby surfaces clean while aboard the plane. That means sanitize, sanitize, sanitize! (Pssst: These airplane tray covers are super-convenient for keeping little fingers safe from dirty airplane trays!)
Booking Your Flight: The Best Time and Day to Fly with a Baby
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The flight you choose—what time and what day—can make all the difference when you've got a pint-sized plane partner. So follow these guidelines to set yourself up for smooth travels:
Book your flight for a Tuesday or Wednesday According to Airadvisor.com, flights on Tuesdays and Wednesdays are almost always cheaper and less filled than flights that bookend weekends or on Saturdays and Sundays. This means you'll have a better chance of having an empty seat next to you (which is like winning the lottery when it comes to flying with the fam).
Fly direct—or choose a long layover Ear pain tends to be worse on takeoff and landing—so minimize these painful times for your baby by choosing a direct flight! Flying direct also minimizes the number of dirty airport floors your little explorer will want to crawl all over. If you can't bear the thought of 17 hours on an airplane, try to book a layover that allows you to spend the night (or two!) in your layover city rather than just waiting at the airport. This gives you and your brood a chance to recoup and explore a new city. That's what Mommy travel blogger Carrie Bradley, former flight attendant and founder of FlyingWithABaby, advises. "I prefer breaking up the journey just so everybody can get some rest," Bradley said. "We like to take like 48 hours and make it a mini vacation."
Pick a morning flight Regardless of your baby's sleep schedule, Travel & Leisure says morning flights are the only flights you should book since they are the least likely to be delayed or canceled. Early morning flights are usually less bumpy, which means more time letting your little one out of the car seat to explore the cabin (a must for new walkers). If that isn't possible, and you've got a by-the-clock napper, book a flight that coincides with nap time.
Where to Sit On the Plane when Flying with a Baby
Laura Green
Where you sit on the plane matters! If you're able to choose your seats for the flight, here are some things to consider:
If it's an option, get a bassinet seat (located at the bulkhead seats) Got a baby under six months? Many long-haul or international flights offer travel bassinets that clip into the wall of the bulkhead seats. These can be lifesavers for harried parents (and exhausted infants). To score these seats, you'll need to book your seats super early. The rules vary by airline, but most bassinets are only available for infants under the age of one and less than 25 pounds. For details on where your chosen airline stands, check out this comprehensive list of bassinet seats on 50+ airlines.
Book a window and aisle seat and hope for an empty row Middle seats are always the last to be picked on a plane, so reserving a window and aisle ups the chances that you'll get all three seats to yourself (Note: You can even do this if you're flying with a family of four; just book two windows/aisle seats). You can always switch if someone does book that seat between you.
Don't put your baby in the aisle seat Passengers in the aisle are in the line of fire should luggage fall from the overhead bins during a flight (this happens more than you'd think, with an estimated 4,500 travelers hit by falling airplane luggage each year). These seats can also be risky for little ones who may get their fingers or feet pinched by carts coming through the aisles. Babies and children are safest in the middle or window seats.
Don't sit right next to the bathrooms, but don't sit too far away, either! Sitting too close to the bathroom means your sleeping baby may be startled awake by the crowd noise after mealtimes (when most people go to the bathrooms). But don't sit too far from one, either; you want to be able to dash to the changing table when blowouts strike.
Seats over the wing are the least turbulent If you are worried about turbulence, a seat near the wings will offer the smoothest ride. This makes a difference when you're trying to aim a little spoon into your finicky baby's mouth during feeding time.
Airport security lines aren't fun for anyone, but they're extra stressful when you're contending with wandering toddlers or fussy infants. Here are some tips to help you prepare for (or avoid!) the wait:
Formula & breast milk are allowed on your carry-on Nursing and pumping mamas, relax! According to TSA press secretary Carter Langston, you can bring your breast milk through the security lines—even if the baby is not with you at the time (such as if you're away on business and want to bring that "liquid gold" home for your baby). This is because the TSA considers formula and breastmilk "medically necessary liquids," which are allowed in carry-on baggage in quantities greater than 3.4 ounces (that's the limit on other, non-medically necessary liquids). As of July 2022, the TSA also updated its guidelines online to add that ice packs, freezer packs, gel ice packs, and similar items required to cool medically necessary liquids are also allowed through security.
Baby food is OK Food pouches and jars of baby food are also considered medically necessary, so they're also exempt from the 3.4 ounces rules.
It's easy to get TSA approved If you think getting TSA PreCheck status is a difficult process, we're here to tell you it's not! A quick online application and an in-person interview are all you need to do to get what is essentially a "fast pass" through the security lines. Even better, as long as your littles are under 13, they can whisk through security with you without needing their own TSA approval! Apply for the pass here: tsa.gov/precheck.
Kids don't have to take off their shoes If your kids are under 12, they don't have to remove their shoes when going through security.
Ask if there's a TSA Family screening line Many large airports have a special security line for families. The signage may not be obvious, so ask a security representative to direct you if you're not sure.
Take your baby out of her stroller or car seat This is another reason to keep your baby awake until you get aboard the plane. Babies must be carried through security (though they can be carried on you in a sling) with strollers and car seats going through the X-ray machine separately. (Strollers that don't fit through the X-ray machine will have to be inspected manually.)
Children under 18 don't need a passport or ID to fly in the United States—but they DO need a passport to fly internationally To apply for a passport, go to travel.state.gov to download the forms. And don't wait! According to the U.S. Passport Office, it takes 10-13 weeks to process a new passport and "expedited" passports take 4-6 weeks. You must bring your documents to your local passport office (you can't mail them in), and both parents need to be present (or have a notarized form saying why they're not).
Ultimate Supply List for Flying with a Baby
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Packing for a flight with babies and toddlers requires a LOT of prep work. Wipes? Check! Diapers? Check! Sanity? TBD. Here's a checklist of things to put in your carry-on when flying with a baby:
The Essentials:
Baby carrier/ sling - Even if you brought a stroller through the airport, a carrier is a great way to go hands-free in the airplane while your little one snoozes. Many a mom has strapped that baby to their bellies even when making a restroom trip. Trust us: you'll be happy to have your hands.
Pacifiers/comfort items - If your baby uses a pacifier, bring at least four of them on the plane (they WILL be dropped).
Breast milk, formula, baby food - Most airlines won't provide special meals for babies, so be sure you bring everything your baby will need for the flight (and extras in case there are any delays or if you're stuck on the tarmac).
Feeding supplies - Bibs, spoons, bottles, bowls (these bowls that stick to surfaces work great with the tray table)
Finger foods - Never underestimate the power of food to keep your baby busy. Light finger foods like puffs or teething crackers are great because they can keep on nibbling without getting too full.
Wipes - Separate from the wipes you'll put in your changing kit, an extra pack of wipes is essential for all those other times you'll be cleaning up your baby (and yourself).
Changing items - Diapers, wipes, changing pad. Bring double the number of diapers and wipes that your baby usually uses in the period you expect to be traveling. Tip: Keep all changing items in a separate bag (Ziploc bags work great) so you can easily grab them from your carry-on and dash to the bathroom.
Pull-ups, if your baby can stand - These make diaper changes way easier since you don't have to lay your toddler down on that tiny table in the tiny airplane bathroom.
Toys - For younger babies, rattles, teething toys, and other sensory toys will keep your baby entertained for short spurts; older kids may want books, dolls, or puppets.
Clips to keep toys/pacifiers from falling - If your baby is anything like every baby ever, they'll be tossing said comfort item overboard shortly after they get a hold of it. Toy clips like these are an easy fix.
Baby pain relief/medications - Bring a small "emergency bag" stocked with liquid baby pain relief (Tylenol for babies of any age; Advil for babies over six months), gas drops, and any medications your baby may need.
Burp cloths
Nursing pillow (we recommend the My Brest Friend) - This may be cumbersome to carry around, but it can work as a comfy bed for your baby post-feed (and you can pass the sleeping baby to your partner easily when your baby is asleep on the pillow) It also has an attached cup-holder for when Mom or Dad gets thirsty, too.
Sanitizing wipes/ tray covers - Your baby—and especially your toddler—will want to touch everything their little fingers can reach. So be sure to bring plenty of wipes and wipe down all nearby surfaces. For the trays, disposable tray covers are great, too.
Muslin cloth - These are great for covering babies when they're sleeping or as a nursing cover. They're also nice to cover the baby's head if they are getting overstimulated by the busy surroundings.
Blankets - One for comfort and warmth and another for the floor at the airport.
Extra clothes for baby AND parents (because blowouts happen!) - Choose clothes that are easy to take on and off (no buttons!) and bring layers for when the cabin swings from cold to hot and vice-versa.
Ziploc bags for wet/soiled clothes.
Car seat (and car seat stroller for the airport)- If you are buying your baby a seat (recommended, but not mandatory), bring your car seat so your baby has a comfortable, familiar place to nap. This also helps to get your baby (and your stuff) comfortably around the airport. You can gate-check the stroller part when you get on the plane, and it'll be ready for you when you step off.
Note: The American Academy of Pediatrics says the safest way for your baby to fly is in an FAA-approved car seat or airplane harness device approved for your child's age and size installed with the airplane's seat belt. Booster seats cannot be used on airplanes.
Gadgets Worth Buying (but not necessary)
Wraparound headphones - Older babies and toddlers will love being able to hear songs or stories with these wraparound fleece headphones that won't easily slide off and also keep your baby's head warm.
Lap baby - Carrie Bradley of Flyingwithababy.com called this "a really useful product for babies of all ages." It works like a seat belt to keep babies over three months secure on your lap so you can be hands-free and baby can be comfortable.
The Flyaway travel bed - This L-shaped inflatable mattress lets toddlers lie flat and sleep aboard the plane. It also works to fill the floor space so that items your toddler is playing with don't plunge into the abyss of the airplane floor. For a less-expensive option, these inflatable footrest pillows do the same thing.
Travel play tray - This tray attaches to the airplane tray table and has raised edges to keep small toys from sliding off the tray (it also covers that dirty tray table). It's also useful for toddlers who like to play with crayons or other small items.
Airline Perks You Should Know About When Flying with a Baby
Sure, flying with a baby can be a challenge—but it's not all a drag! Some airlines offer special perks to families traveling with babies and toddlers, including:
Baby and toddler meals Most airlines offer a kids' meal that you can order ahead of time, but only a few airlines (mostly international) will serve a specialized baby or toddler meal. These usually consist of jarred baby food or meals that are soft and easy to chew. Qantas, Air France, Emirates, Eva Air, Japan Airlines, Lufthansa, Malaysia Airlines, and Singapore Airlines are some of the airlines that offer this, according to this article from Flyingwithababy.
Bassinet seats As mentioned above, many long-haul flights offer bassinets (mostly suitable for babies under one) that can clip into the bulkhead wall. These seats usually cost more, since they're in the bulkhead row, but are worth it for parents of finicky little sleepers.
Priority boarding for families When you hear that announcement that "families with young children are welcome to board," grab your roller suitcases and go! Getting all those essential carry-on items in position is crucial, especially if you'll have stuff in the overhead compartments that you'll need to access mid-flight. If you're worried about your antsy toddlers, traveling mommy blogger Samantha Brown recommends having one parent stay in the terminal with the kids while the other boards with the stuff. That way, the littles can run around, then get on the plane after getting all their wiggles out.
Free toys and activity kits You read that right—free toys! According to Conde Nast Traveler, Lufthansa, Emirates, Nippon Airways, British Airways, Qatar Airways, Cathay Pacific, Qantas, Etihad, and Japan Airlines are among those who give out free kits for tiny passengers. These kits can include everything from stuffed animals and stickers to play dough and puzzles. Just ask the flight attendant when you board.
Worst-Case Scenarios: What To Do If…
Your baby may be all smiles at the airport, but what do you do if everything changes mid-air?
Ear pain If your baby is crying and tugging at her ears—or if the crying started just as the plane took off—it could be an earache. Give your baby a pain reliever that's safe for their age—Tylenol (acetaminophen) is safe at any age; Advil (ibuprofen) is safe for babies over six months. You can also ask the flight attendant for a cup of warm water and a washcloth; holding a warm, moist towel against the baby's ear may help relieve the pain. Also, keep your baby sucking or chewing since this can help equalize ear pressure.
*The American Academy of Pediatrics advises against giving Benadryl to children ages two and under unless it is directed by their doctors.
Vomiting If your child vomits while on the plane, the protocol is the same as if you were on land: give sips of breastmilk or formula (or water) to prevent dehydration. You can also ask the flight attendants for some washcloths to put on your child (and you) to keep the clothing changes and seat mess to a minimum. Thankfully, children under two rarely get motion sickness, so your chances that a bumpy flight will lead to a troubled tummy are small.
Teething Liquid pain relievers can help, as well as teething toys.
Nonstop crying If no amount of peekaboo, feeding, or rocking can ease your baby's cries, all you can do is try to relax. "Make sure you stay calm," says mommy blogger Jennifer Durban in this Howcast video. "If you're stressed out, your baby will be stressed out, so try your best to relax." She also suggested getting up and walking around the cabin. "It's amazing how fascinating a bathroom can be to a little one."
Remember: Flying with a Baby Is Only Temporary
You've packed. You've prepped. You've fed, rocked, and cuddled. Still, when it comes to air travel, it's anyone's guess how your new little human will react to the experience. So what do you do if nothing "works" and your baby is that baby, the one who cries the whole flight?
"I try to tell other parents you may think everybody is looking at you—and you may feel these eyes peering—but they’re not," said Bradley, who has taken her two young daughters on international flights since they were both infants. "You just relax and do your thing, and remember that it will end. It's not forever. Just concentrate on your family."
Bradley said it's also important to remember that it's not the kids who generally cause the most problems on board. "Sure, kids cry and it can be irritating—I get that," she said. "But it’s mostly fully grown adults we’ve had bigger problems with."
And she said it's OK for parents to ask the flight attendants for help. "Even if the flight crew aren’t parents, they can help. It’s what they do," she said, adding that, as a flight attendant, she held many a baby when the parents just needed a break to use the bathroom or have a bite to eat. "I would always tell parents, 'I'm happy to hold your baby.'"
My son Stalen was diagnosed on the autism spectrum when he was 22 months old. He is now almost 6 and non-verbal. He is also amazing!
Here are 5 things that I’ve learned from this journey that I want to share:
1. Autism is neurological. It is not physical or intellectual. There is no look to being autistic. Autistic individuals are quite intelligent and capable. They just see the world differently than we do.
2. There is no right or wrong way to perform a task, or reach a desired goal or outcome. Instead, there are many ways. My son may communicate differently than you with the support of a device but he is just as capable. He may also require additional supports but that does not affect his worth or value as a human being. If nothing else, it shows his immeasurable determination and fight, please don’t try to stand in front of that.
3. My son wants to be accepted, loved, and included just like everyone else. He wants to be active and involved in the community free from judgment and discrimination. He needs to be himself, free from consequence. Please don’t invite him to the table and expect him to be like everyone else.
4. Meltdowns are not tantrums. Meltdowns are not a sign of always getting one’s way. Meltdowns are hard moments, signs of an individual trying to cope with an overwhelming world. Please be kind. Please don’t stare. Please don’t judge what you may not understand.
5. Autism is just one of the many pieces that contribute to the make-up of my amazing son. It does not solely define him as a person or define his life. There is no formula for a life well-lived.
Every day we choose to define our lives through embracing differences, kindness, understanding, unconditional love, adventure, laughter, hope and faith.
We share our story to inspire, educate and make this world a better place for not just Stalen but for so many others as well.
I am a proud wife, ASD Mom, Step-Mom. At 21 months, my son was diagnosed with autism spectrum disorder. He is 5 years old and non-verbal. I have become a full-time stay-at-home mom. I am 1000% focused on raising autism awareness and helping my son live a full and fun life.
Keeping your baby healthy and safe involves more than babyproofing. And new technology is here to help. Check out these recently released products that make your life with baby easier, healthier and safer. From thermometers and baby monitors to sanitizers and air monitors, they’re guaranteed to bring you peace of mind.
Sleek Socket Outlet Covers
Hide unsafe outlets with this clever cover! This ultra-thin cover connects to an extension cord with a power strip or surge protector. Keep those cords away from your baby and create a sleeker-looking living space at the same time.
Make sure the items your kids put in their mouth are clean with this compact UV-C sanitizer. It's sleek and small enough to live on your kitchen counter for easy cleaning of toys, bottles and pacifiers—even stuffies and electronic gadgets. This ultraviolet sanitizer and dryer uses ultraviolet C lights to kill germs and bacteria in minutes, without the use of water or heat. Use the sanitizer or dryer on their own or use both combined. When you're not using the sanitizer for baby gear, pop in your cell phone, makeup brushes, shaver or toothbrushes for a cleaning.
Designed by a pediatric ear, nose and throat specialist, the NozeBot takes cleaning boogies to a whole new level. This nasal aspirator uses hospital-grade suction to safely and hygienically clean your child's nose when they're sick. You place two fingers in the ingeniously designed nosepiece, leaving three fingers to help stabilize your child's head. It's portable and rechargeable, and the nosepiece and tubing are dishwasher-safe.
The easiest way to log feedings, diapers, sleep, nursing, pumping and more! Push a button to sync with the app and add any notes in the app at your convenience, so you can track baby's routine and be better prepared for meetings with the pediatrician, lactation consultant or sleep consultant. There's even a miscellaneous button you can use for medication, baths, tummy time or other baby-related tasks you want to keep track of. Attach this user-friendly device to the wall in baby's nursery or bring it with you around the house to help you remember to use it. When you no longer need it, send it back through the company's buyback program.
Available at talli.me, $99 for a new tracker; $69 for a reconditioned tracker; $169 for a two-pack.
Little kids are lightning fast and have a knack for playing with exactly what you don't want them to. Avoid an unfortunate or dangerous situation with the Ally lockable storage container. In it, you can hide away your meds, supplements, passport, valuables, fancy chocolates and anything else you want to keep away from curious kids. The small size (9.25” x 6” x 3.5”) means you can easily tuck it away on a shelf or in a drawer, even the fridge or freezer, but it's sleek enough you won't mind keeping it on display. You choose your three-digit code and can reset it as needed if mombrain makes you forget. Comes in berry, navy and cream and makes an amazing baby shower gift.
Watch Your Mouth USB Safety Cover from Geddy's Mom
Playing with the free end of a plugged-in USB charger can be dangerous for kids, causing electrocution burns in more than 200 kids under age 5 each year. As a doctor of dental surgery, Dr. Sarah Shell had seen the traumatic injuries. And she and her neurologist husband had seen their own son put the loose end of a plugged-in charger in his mouth. So they worked with a team of other doctors, designers and engineers to create a product to keep kids safe. Just snap this safety cover over the free metal connector end of any standard USB cord and you keep curious fingers away from it. The plastic cover has a child-resistant lock and no small parts.
Baby Brezza Formula Pro Advanced WiFi Baby Formula Dispenser
This is a game-changer for formula feedings: Thanks to the Baby Brezza app (iOS and Android), you can mix water and formula to the perfect consistency from your phone! Meaning, you can prep a bottle for your child from bed, from work, from the car, or wherever else you happen to be. Get alerts on your phone that tell you when the bottle is ready, when you're low on formula or water, or when there's no bottle in the machine. Choose from three temperature settings, and whether you want it to dispense 2-10 ounces of liquid. It works with all bottles and virtually all formula. brands.
Give your baby a warm bottle of formula or breastmilk wherever you are, thanks to this portable, battery-operated bottle warmer. Great for road trips, park visits, camping and all of your daily excursions, the Baby's Brew warms your child's bottle in just 5-10 minutes and keeps it warm for 8-12 hours. Liquids can be warmed to four different temperatures, and it's compatible with many bottle types, either with or without an inexpensive adapter (check the website to find out if you'll need one). The warmer is sold on its own ($75) or in a set with a formula dispenser (pictured; $85).
No more waking a sleeping baby to take a temperature reading or getting up every hour to feel their forehead. Apply the small silicone patch (FDA approved and made with medical-grade adhesive) to your baby's armpit and this wireless thermometer will beep and blink red LED lights if their temperature rises above 100°F. Thanks to a 24-hour battery life, temps will be monitored all night long. The device also notifies you about low battery, disconnection and if the device falls off your baby. The large, backlit temperature reading is easy to see in the dark, or you can move the device to whatever room you're in to track the readings.
Here's what makes this air purifier a game-changer: It uses a separate sensor you can place across the room that measures air quality so the purifier can adapt to clean the air more effectively. The filtration system captures pollutants, allergens, VOC gases, airborne viruses and microscopic particles from every direction and then uses UV-C light to destroy germs and viruses trapped in the filter. Once the air is cleaned, the purifier pushes it out in two directions, so the filtered air flows throughout the room. TruSens also sells filters for specific concerns: pets, odor and allergy & flu. The unit comes in three sizes, for small, medium and large rooms.
Reduce the risk of forgetting your baby in the car with this alert system from American Home Safety Products. Clip this sensor to the straps of your car seat and attach the alarm to the keychain with your car keys on them. If you step more than 10 feet away from your car, an alarm will sound to let you know your baby is still strapped in to the carseat. This alert system comes with one sensor and two alarm key fobs.
This combination video and breathing wear monitor has everything you need for baby’s optimal sleep. The overhead camera allows you to see all that is going on in and around the sleep space and includes two-way audio. The camera also reads the fabric patterns on the included electronic-free breathing wear and sends real-time alerts right to your smartphone. There is a wall mount and a floor stand that keep cords safely out of reach and allow for easy portability when you're on the go. The app can show you all you need to know about baby’s sleep patterns and offers tips for making sure everyone has a good night. The Nanit Plus camera works with Amazon Echo and Echo Spot, and the complete baby monitoring system is eligible for purchase with FSA/HSA healthcare benefits. Add Nanit Pajamas ($29.99) to monitor baby's breathing motion in real time without wires or sensors. The pajamas work exclusively with Nanit cameras.
What sets this breathing monitor apart is the fact that there is nothing for baby to wear. To monitor baby's every breath, the camera checks for movements 20 times per second, detecting motions too small to be seen by the human eye. The HD video streams to your smartphone or tablet and sends notifications for sleep apnea, if breathing falls outside the normal range, and for when baby falls asleep and wakes. There is no need for special sleepwear and the monitor is designed to work when baby is swaddled or in a sleep sack and when baby is in different sleeping positions. Other features include two-way audio, night vision and remote viewing.
Rest assured that the air baby is breathing is safe and healthy with the Airthings Wave Plus indoor air quality monitor. Its sensors check the air for serious air pollutants, like radon, carbon dioxide, and total volatile organic compounds. It also monitors temperature, air pressure and humidity, so you can keep conditions optimal for baby. The app dashboard on your smartphone provides alerts and advanced analytics of air quality and offers tips for improving it. The battery is designed to last for up to two years.
Does anyone ever know how much candy to buy for Halloween?
Ah, the age old question of how much candy to buy for Halloween. There’s nothing worse than running out halfway through the evening and having to hide in your house with the lights out. That’s why Shipt and Mars Wrigley have devised a new formula to help you determine how many sweets to purchase, plus a heat map of top treats by state.
The formula looks intimidating but is actually quite simple. It breaks down like this:
Time: The number of hours you plan to leave the lights on
Kids: Estimated number of kids per hour that will ring your doorbell
Generosity factor: How many pieces of candy you plan to give to each kid
Days: The number of days between the initial candy purchase and Halloween
Family: Number of family members in the household
Sneaky factor: Average number of pieces of candy each member of the household will eat per day
Shipt also sagely advises to divide the final count by 1.5 if rain is in the forecast. As for the most popular treats, it varies widely by state. However, 18 states would pick Snickers above all and 9 states are in favor of the classic M&Ms. Take a look to see which candy you should stock up on in your state!
Looks like Montana kids will be getting lots of gum. Shipt’s shopping data also shows that Halloween is the most popular day to buy candy, unsurprisingly.
To incentivize you as you stock up on treats this season, Shipt is offering $5 off to customers if they spend $25 on Mars Wrigley products for the two weeks leading up to Halloween. But since it’s a little early for that, you’re probably still plotting out your perfect costume and we have just the list for you
Looking for the purrfect hands-on craft for little cat lovers? Origami, the Japanese art of paper folding, is an easy (and mess-free) way for families to get creative this summer. All you need is paper, scissors for cutting and some helpful how-tos. Follow these steps below to make your first origami cat!
Keep your real-life cat happy with the help of ARM & HAMMER™ AbsorbX!ARM & HAMMER™ AbsorbX lightweight kitty litter gives pet parents the assurance of odor control while being 50% lighter than their regular litter. Thanks to unique Desert Dry Minerals, easy-to-carry AbsorbX traps, seals and controls odors fast.
ARM & HAMMER™ AbsorbX has all the convenience of lightweight kitty litter with the confidence of guaranteed odor control. AbsorbX is over 50% lighter than their regular litter and has an improved formula to help reduce litter tracking. Try it today at your local Publix, Giant, Stop & Shop, Giant Food Stores or Martin's!
With Father’s Day just around the corner, it’s time to start planning how you and your littles are going to celebrate daddy’s day. Whether you’re ready to head out of the house or stay close to home, we have plans that are guaranteed to please. Read on for our list of father-friendly activities that are sure bets for making everyone’s dad feel special.
If he has a need for speed, treat him to the Atlanta Motor Speedway NASCAR Style Driving Experience & Ride Alongs (June 18 & 19) where he can drive over 165 miles per hour on the track. Or check out a 2 or 4 hour, mid vs rear drive program at the Porsche Driving Experience. where dad can experience 1.6 miles of the thrill of the drive. Just north of Atlanta in Dawsonville you'll find the Atlanta Motorsports Park, home of the world’s most unique karting track. Built to Formula One standards and offering 43 feet of elevation change, AMP Kart Racing offers a karting experience unlike any other.
Head downtown to celebrate the correlation between true identity and true freedom at Atlanta's Juneteenth Black History Parade/March/Rally (June 18). Or, swing by the Father's Day Flow (June 19) at Fourth Ward Skatepark Playground for all ages yoga meetup. For dads who enjoy staying at home and firing up the grill, sign him up for a Zoom Meatapalooza cooking class with Gunshow owner Kevin Gillespie, where they'll perfect some of his favorite backyard classics over a cold beer and the internet.
If the man of your house prefers to spend his time outside it, support his heart-healthy efforts by cheering him on—or better yet—joining in on the fun. Head to Halcyon for Goat Yoga on the Green (June 19), or perhaps head to Chattahoochee Nature Center (June 20) to celebrate dad with exclusive access to CNC’s Butterfly Encounter, where you can enjoy a light breakfast, experience various butterfly species, and explore the grounds prior to opening. Cheer on the Braves as they battle the Cardinals at 1:20 p.m. (June 20), then enjoy a 20-minute game of catch on the field with your dad (advance registration required).
Still searching for something special? Try a picnic at one of Atlanta’s best parks and playgrounds. Go for a spin on one of the city’s best bike trails, or go berry picking at an area farm. If you are feeling adventurous, head out for a horseback ride or take it to the trees at a nearby zipline park. No matter how you fête father’s day, be sure to shower dad with many acts of love!
Pay attention to your father. Yes of course I mean listen to what he says. But more importantly, carefully observe what he does. You’ll learn, probably at a very young age, that people don’t always do what they say. You’ll learn that talk can often be cheap if actions don’t back it up.
See how he clears the dinner plates and loads the dishwasher without being asked? Do you know why he does that? Because he lives here too. Because I made dinner, and he ate it. It’s not a favor to me or to you. It’s just what Dad does.
Hey, where did Dad go, you wonder, as we play with your blocks? Hear that sound coming from upstairs? He’s running your bath. He’s carefully making sure the temperature is warm enough for you, but not the scalding hot that I prefer when I occasionally get in the tub. He’s dumping your bath toys in the bubbles and picking out your pajamas. He’s filling the humidifier with water and testing out your ceiling light that will project stars and moons while you drift off to sleep. It’s pretty cool that he does that, right? He doesn’t get a badge for it though, nor has he ever sought one. It’s just what your Dad does.
Here comes the delivery man again! What’s in that box? It looks like the next shipment of the formula that Dad carefully researched when I couldn’t produce enough breastmilk in those first deliriously exhausting weeks of your life. I vaguely remember the spreadsheets and charts Dad made to compare and contrast formulas, both domestic and European. He took the lead and not only ordered the first shipment but tracks when we run low to place new orders. To be honest, I wouldn’t even know where to turn if he weren’t here and I needed to order more. Sure, I’d figure it out. But this is really Dad’s department because this is what he does.
Do you remember your first Navy football game? Of course not, because you were 10 weeks old and slept through the whole thing. Except of course when it was time to eat. There’s your Dad, sitting in the end zone, cheering for Navy’s touchdown while shaking up a bottle for you. He didn’t pass you to me, and he didn’t stop yelling. He cradled you and fed you when it was time. If he noticed the confused looks on peoples’ faces at what they were witnessing, he didn’t let on. It was time for you to eat, and he fed you. Because that is what Dad does.
We took you to see your Grandpa when you turned five months old. It was your first plane trip. Just two hours to Tampa, but my anxiety was at peak performance and I could barely handle the anticipation of a plane ride with an infant. No sooner did the plane take off, you did what babies do at inconvenient times: you pooped yourself. Once we hit a cruising altitude, daddy unbuckled his seatbelt and stood up. Then he took you out of my arms, grabbed the diaper bag and headed off to the bathroom. I couldn’t believe my eyes, and those around us were equally dumbfounded when they realized what was going on. I’m certain that most thought it was odd for the Dad to change a baby in the plane bathroom. It shouldn’t be odd though. It should be completely normal, just like there should be changing tables in men’s restrooms. I was just curious how he did it at all because Dad’s not a small man. But he did it, and he brought me back a clean baby who slept the rest of the way to see Grandpa. Because that’s the kind of thing your Dad does.
I was all thumbs when you were born. Not only did I have several complications from birth that I was trying to heal from, but I had no idea what to simultaneously do with a baby. Your instruction book was lost somewhere between where you came from and where you landed. I had this notion before you were born that my role was to take care of you and Daddy’s role was to take care of me. As it turned out, Daddy took care of us both, and he hasn’t stopped. He forces me straight to bed when I’ve had a rough day at work; he insists on take-out when he knows I don’t feel much like cooking; he dances with you in your room until you squeal; he’s been spotted on the monitor app singing Bob Marley songs to you while you two flip through books; he goes to every single one of your doctor’s appointments with his list of questions; dances in the circle with all of the moms at your My Gym classes, and whips you up Belgian waffles on the weekends. That Dad of yours; it’s just what he does.
I never heard him say he was “afraid he’d break you” as a reason for not holding you when you were tiny. He never said he couldn’t change your diaper because it made him gag, (which it probably did). He never babysits you, because there’s no such thing as babysitting your own child; Never feigns “cluelessness” because he knows just as much as I do that it’s nothing more than a cop-out and deliberate attempt to shirk parenting duties. And he’s never expected me to do the lion’s share of the work because I’m the woman. We both work full time. We both parent you. We are both exhausted. We do it together. We are a team.
One day you may decide you want a meaningful relationship or to be married. Until that day comes, keep an eye on your Dad and make notes of how he treats me, you, your doggies and all else with respect. It’s how we hope you’ll choose to be too.
Political affairs pro, freelance writer, Philly native, dog and human mom, Key West obsessed, former Capitol Hill staffer, one-time stand-up comic, fledgling novelist, side hustler, beauty products junkie. Lives in MD with her husband Josh, son Huckleberry and two giant retriever lap dogs named Frank and Stein. Connect with me here: https://aimeelubin.com/
