ML Interest Tag: frighten

How to Explain Veterans Day to Kids

by Amber Guetebier

Start with the basics

Veterans Day can be a tricky one to explain to the kiddos: their natural curiosity can lead to questions you may not be prepared to answer or questions for which the answers might seem frightening. (What is war? Will we go to war?) So we’ve come up with a few facts about Veterans Day for kids to help.

For families with active or retired military members, Veterans Day can take on a very significant meaning. But not everyone knows what it really represents or how to explain it to children. Unlike Memorial Day, which honors members of the military who died in service (click here to read more about the story of Memorial Day), Veterans Day honors those who have served in war (and are therefore veterans of the war). Many, many veterans are alive and well today and deserve their special day! 

Start with Facts about Veterans Day for Kids

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Veterans Day is November 11th, every year. (It is often observed as a legal holiday the nearest Monday to this date.)

Can you write the number 11? What about the word November?

If it’s always on the 11th, does it fall on the same day of the week every year?

What day does it fall on this year? (Hint: it’s Friday)

facts about Veterans Day for kids
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A veteran is someone who served in the military.

Have you heard of the Army, Navy, Air Force, Marines and Coast Guard? This is the military. The military is part of our government and is made up of people who have agreed to join the Army, Navy, Air Force, Marines, or Coast Guard, in order to become part of this branch of the government. They are trained for many situations, including emergencies at home. Their goal is to protect people who live in their country (and elsewhere).  

Do you know the difference between these different branches and what special skills or equipment they use? (As in airplanes, naval ships, etc.),

Draw a picture that might represent what the different branches of the military specialize in. 

Frank McKenna via Unsplash

A veteran is someone who served in the military during war.

The military is trained to fight in wars. Have you heard of war? What do you think it means?

Before you launch into the explanation of war, you can let kiddos know that for most countries, and especially in more recent times, world leaders negotiate before declaring war.

Know Your Kids

If your children are sensitive or very young, getting into details about war should be handled accordingly. While we aim to tell our children the truth, there’s no need to keep them up at night in fear. Focus your discussion on the veterans who have served in war and why it is important that we honor them on this day.

Here are a few reasons:

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You probably know one. Mom, Dad, Grandpa, Grandma, aunts and uncles, neighbors: chances are there’s a veteran in your life. Got a photo of the vet? Show your kids. Putting a face on the concept will help kiddos connect with it.

Regardless of how you feel about war or specific wars, the fact remains that the men and women who have served during war times did so with honor and bravery. Talk about being brave. What does it mean? Why is it important?

Showing gratitude. This is an excellent chance to show kiddos how to honor their country’s history and elders, and how to be kind. For great ideas on how to thank a veteran, check out this story.

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Keep Your Playground Time Accident Free With These Orthopedist-Approved Tips

by Sarah Shebek

School is out for the summer and playgrounds are in full swing. Whether you’re headed to the high tech new spot across town or the old faithful equipment around the corner, accidents happen. That’s why the American Academy of Orthopaedic Surgeons just released safety tips to keep your outside playtime fun, not frightening.

A child in the U.S. visits the emergency room for a playground-related injury every two-and-a-half minutes and ER departments see more than 220,000 children for these injuries each year, according to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention. But many of these incidents are preventable by following these tips:

  • Never go down a slide with a baby or toddler in your lap. The child’s foot can get caught underneath the adult’s leg and cause a twisting injury.
  • Make sure your kids play on age-appropriate playground equipment.
  • Check to see that there is enough space for children to easily get off the slide and look for crowding around exit areas.
  • Double check climbing devices to make sure the handholds are the right size and secure.
  • Swing seats are best made of plastic or rubber for better grip.
  • Stay away from equipment with openings where your child’s head could get stuck.
  • Make sure you can see your kids playing at all times.
  • Use playgrounds that have soft surfaces (wood chips, mulch or shredded rubber) as opposed to hard surfaces like asphalt.
  • In warm weather, check equipment before using to make sure it’s not too hot.
  • Finally, look out for tripping hazards like rocks or sticks and remove from the area before playing.

“In a natural effort to protect themselves, children often will fall on an outstretched hand and break the bones involving the wrist or elbow,” said Dr. Rachel Goldstein, pediatric orthopaedic surgeon at Children’s Hospital Los Angeles. “By closely supervising children and making sure they are using equipment the way it is intended to be used, these injuries can be curbed. For example, no jumping from the swings and one person at a time on the slide.”

The next time you head out to play, keep these guidelines in mind for a little extra piece of mind. The AAOS has even more tips available at OrthoInfo.org. And get ready to enjoy unrestricted access to your favorite spaces!

Featured image: Sarah Pflug via Burst

 

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5 Tips for Moms Dealing with Divorce

By Kara Reynolds

Choosing to get a divorce is one of the most difficult decisions you can make in your life—especially when kids are involved. Regardless of their age, you want to protect them at all costs and ensure the entire process goes as smoothly as possible. Of course, this is much easier said than done, as you may well know. Aside from the legal aspects, there are emotional and parenting issues you have to deal with. At times, these can be more taxing than the financial and contractual details. However, as impossible as it may seem right now, there are ways to care for yourself and your kids as you navigate this tumultuous time in your life. Here are some tips to help you make it through and become an even stronger mama in the process.

1. Give Yourself Time

One of the best things you can do for yourself and your kids is to give yourself time to process your emotions. It’s completely natural to experience panic, confusion, sadness, anger, and a slew of other feelings as you come to terms with the fact that your marriage is ending. In fact, you’ll likely go through the stages of grief as you move forward, eventually reaching acceptance. However, as painful as the process is, it’s best not to rush it. Sit with the pain and allow yourself to break down when you aren’t on mom duty. You’re human too, after all. You deserve to explore those complicated emotions without feeling the need to suppress them 24/7.

2. Don’t Go It Alone

While alone time is essential in processing your emotions, it’s equally important to find others with whom you can confide. Up until this point, it’s likely your husband was the one with whom you would share your thoughts and feelings. Now, you must trust close friends, relatives, or a therapist with the most vulnerable parts of yourself. Of course, opening up to others can be frightening and uncomfortable. However, talking to someone else may provide you a fresh perspective or prevent you from running back to a toxic relationship for the sake of your kids. You might also consider joining a support group so you can be with others who are currently going through or have been through a divorce.

3. Become a United Front

A lack of communication is one of the most common reasons couples seek divorce. However, when it comes time to inform the kids of your decision, you must be able to speak with one another and become a united front before talking to your children. After all, this decision involves both of you, so you should both be present when telling the kids. Moreover, your little ones will likely feel more comfortable and safe if you’re both there to explain things. Prepare for questions and make sure you and your spouse agree on the reasoning behind the divorce so you can answer them clearly and concisely.

4. Avoid Trash Talk

During that first conversation with your kids and throughout the divorce process, avoid trash-talking your spouse. Even if their actions or words were the reason for the divorce, it’s best not to drag them through the mud in front of your children. Your kids don’t need to know all the details of the divorce and, in the end, you still want them to respect both you and their father. Plus, you don’t want your little ones to feel like they have to choose a side—especially when you’re trying to protect them from the messiness of divorce. If your partner is trash-talking you, let your actions speak for themselves and resist the urge to defend yourself. Doing so will only fan the flames and give your kids more reason to turn against one of you.

5. Don’t Make Your Kids Messengers

Even before the divorce is final it isn’t uncommon for you or your spouse to move out and begin splitting time with the kids. If you continue to share custody of the children, this cycle of having your kids and sending them off to see their father will repeat for years to come. During the early stages, many ex-couples use the kids as messengers instead of directly communicating with one another. Don’t make the same mistake. Using your kids as middlemen puts them in the line of fire if an argument were to occur, causing real and lasting damage to their emotional health and wellbeing. Therefore, it’s best to text, call or email your ex privately or meet up and speak in person without your kids being present.

Today Is Not Your Forever

If you’re in the throes of divorce, it may be difficult—if not impossible—to see a silver lining in such a mess. Yet, it’s important to remember that you’re doing this for your kids if nothing else. They deserve a safe, loving home, and divorce may have been the only way to provide that. Find hope in the fact that even if today may be almost too much to bear, it won’t last forever. Eventually, you and your little ones will emerge from the rubble and rebuild your lives together. Looking back, you may find this was the best thing you could ever have done for your kids and their future.

This post originally appeared on Momish.

Kara Reynolds is the Editor-in-Chief and founder of Momish Magazine.  A mom of four and matriarch to her big blended family, Kara wants nothing more than to normalize differences in family structures.  She enjoys peeing alone, pancakes, and pinot noir - but not at the same time. 

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5 Ways to Help Your Young Child Become Comfortable Wearing a Mask

By Gay Cioffi

If your child is starting Pre-K or Kindergarten this Fall, there may be a great deal of uncertainty about what that experience will actually look like.

Distance learning may not be an option for children this age, who learn best by having concrete experience with learning materials and toys, and face-to-face interaction with their teachers and other children. In-person learning may not be realistic either because young children often struggle with social distancing and mask-wearing.

Whether your child attends school this September or not, here are 5 ways to make them more comfortable with wearing a mask.

1. Explain in simple age-appropriate terms that we need to wear a mask to keep ourselves and others healthy. The face-covering keeps us safe from giving germs to others and from getting germs from them—no need to go into frightening detail about what happens if we do get sick.

2.  Allow children to choose a mask to purchase, or to help make or decorate their mask. Their participation can help foster ownership and more of a willingness to wear a mask.

3. Have masks available for creative dramatics and imaginary play. Make a few smaller versions for their dolls and stuffed animals so they can be included in the action. Having their favorite “stuffy” masked helps to normalize face coverings. Toy Doctor’s kits and Superhero capes are great props to stimulate pretend play with masks.

4. Introduce the word “practice.” Suggest that they practice wearing their mask while watching a video or listening to a story.

5. Model “masking.” When they are practicing wearing a mask at home, you should too. Though it doesn’t always seem so, your example will always be the biggest influence.

And finally, know that if your child is attending school in-person, they will be more likely to follow their teacher’s instructions about mask-wearing when other children are doing so as well. Most kids want to be in-step with their peers and in this case, it will serve them well.

I am a parent and grandparent with over four decades of experience in early childhood education. I share my passion, wisdom and experience, with parents and the people who care for and about children at Little Folks Big Questions, where we're out to answer the questions parents face in today's world.

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Don’t Take My Parenting Advice (I Know Just as Little as You Do)

By Irene Tassy

When I was pregnant, I devoured parenting books.

If it had the words ‘parent’ ‘child’ or ‘frightening’ in the title, I was your target audience. In retrospect, I should have rested up to prepare for the tsunami of horror that was headed my way. At the very least, I should have stopped eating my body weight in cupcakes. I didn’t do either of those things, and I started my parenting journey overwhelmed and 80lbs overweight.  

Now that I am well into this parenting odyssey, as the mother of two teenagers (thoughts and prayers, please), I can’t imagine giving anyone, any kind of advice. Ever. No one can tell you what to do with your particular child because (and brace yourself) no one is you, and no one knows your child as you do. 

And not for nothing, but how could anyone give parenting advice when their child…is still a child? Who knows what the resulting human being will be? It’s like recommending a casserole recipe that you didn’t finish. ‘I cut up some tomatoes and onion. Perfect. Do that.’ What?! It might be tasty, but who knows?! Finish and then talk to me…and even then… please don’t… unless I ask.  

Hitler was an obedient child. Just sayin’.   

I suppose there are tried and true pieces of advice that will always stand the test of time.

1. Don’t hit your kids. Obviously. I mean, do I really have to write that you shouldn’t, either physically or verbally, abuse someone smaller and dependant on you? We all learned that lesson in “The Shawshank Redemption.” 

2. Don’t kill your kid’s spirit. Each child is born with a unique ‘je ne sais quoi.’ Do your best to nurture, not bulldoze, that life force. More ‘Good going, kiddo!’ and less ‘Oy. You’re not leadership material.” 

3. Set a good example. Some days you will fail at this. That’s ok. Get up the next day and fail again. They’ll be fine. 

4. Corn chips or popcorn substitute for veggies at dinner. Naturally.

5. Love, love, and more love.  Nuff’ said.

All good pieces of advice, no? General, useful, and all you need to know.

I’m not implying that people that write parenting advice know nothing. What I’m saying is, if their advice worked for them, that’s great. Amazing. I’m happy for their parenting triumph. Not really… I’m super jealous that they have it all figured out…and wrote A BOOK ABOUT IT! How together are they, anyway? 

In any event, please step to the other side of the planet with your know-how, so I can roll my eyes and figure out what I’m making for dinner.  

Here are just a couple of examples of parenting advice that don’t work for me.

1. Don’t deliver forgotten items. Come on. I can understand if it’s the 13th time your child forgot his/her (fill in the blank) that you may want to put the kibosh on the textbook/lunch/project/ catering service. But, the occasional misstep..why not? Life doesn’t work if we don’t have folks that we can rely on in a pinch. I can’t tell you the number of times I’ve leaned on my girlfriends to fill in for my brain holes or had to make a quick dash home to pick up something I forgot. Jeesh. I know they need to learn responsibility, but how about compassion.

2. Don’t wake your teens up in the morning. My dad woke me up in the morning all thru my high school years, and yet, I understood that when I went away to college, I needed to wake myself up. Go figure.

3. Sleep when the baby sleeps. Ugh. I hate it when parents say this. That kind of sleep will never be enough to make up for the missing 27,000 hours you are in the hole. You will be aroused from your deep slumber by a crying baby/toddler. Now, you’re not only feeling tired but also pissy, irritated, and afternoon-nap foggy. Great. For the last time, when your baby sleeps, do a small-ish happy dance and watch Project Runway.  

Unless sleeping works for you.  And then by all means…SLEEP.  Ya see?  No one knows anything. 

So, to conclude, take all advice you hear with a giant grain of salt. What works for someone else might ultimately backfire on you. Look, we’re all struggling out here in parent-land. The terrain is rough, the climate is inhospitable, and the leadership, on its best day, can best be described as ‘meh.’  

But we’re in it together. Stumbling toward the day, we see how our little experiments turned out.  

 

So, if you read something that makes you feel like dirt as a parent, just know…no one knows any more than you do.  

 

They just have a publisher. 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

I'm a mom of teenagers.  I cry.  A lot.  I also laugh when I'm too tired to cry.  So basically, I'm always either crying or laughing.  I can find the humor in most everything...except (fill in with whatever you find upsetting).  Just want to make you laugh.

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How I Keep My Child with Autism Safe from Wandering

By Annabelle Short

It has been four years now since my daughter was diagnosed with autism. Over those years, I have conquered so many issues including lack of sleep, hyperactivity, and anger among others.

About three years ago, she started wandering off the home compound. I would panic every time I missed her in the house for more than a few minutes. When I take her to an amusement park, I always have to keep a keen eye on her.

I started researching the issue and realized that wandering affects many children with ASD (Austism Spectrum Disorder). I have tried different things and some of them have worked wonderfully for my daughter.

Learn to Identify Triggers

Many triggers made my daughter wander off. If there were nothing of interest in the house or the amusement park, she would wander off until she found something that interested her. She would also walk away from a stressful situation, frightening places, or places with bright lights, loud noises and a lot of commotion.

I now observe her keenly to see when she is stressed or not interested, and ensure she is comfortable. This way, she doesn’t wander off.

Secure the Home

My daughter is seven years but I still have to keep her safe by locking the gate and ensuring there are no openings on our live fence. Even when I feel that she is happy and interested inside the house, I still keep the gate under lock and key. I have an alarm on doors in my house to notify me when my daughter moves in or out of the room.

Use Monitoring and Tracking Devices

I have to be vigilant at all times. My husband feels like I am too much. However, monitoring and tracking devices have helped me more than once locate my daughter in a crowd. My daughter, just like other children with ASD, is not able to communicate her name and address. I use a medical alert device called Mobilehelp and tracking devices to ensure I know where she is at all times.

Tracking devices are simple and she can wear them everywhere. I feel settled knowing whenever my daughter wanders off; I can always track her. I get updates on my phone wherever she goes.

Teach Communication and Behavior Strategies

Though it takes time, my daughter learns with repeated action. Over the years, I have created a routine for her to follow. She loves sameness, just like any other child with ASD, and that has helped me teach her how to calm herself when she feels stressed. There is a teddy bear that she carries everywhere. When she feels stressed, she always takes her teddy bear to play with it.

While she would respond to ‘no’ with tantrums, today she can calm herself when she is told ‘no’. It has not been easy teaching her that she cannot get everything she needs, especially when we are shopping in a store. Because I cannot teach her alone, I liaise with teachers, my husband, and family friends.

Make Sure She Sleeps Enough

Sleeping was an issue when my daughter was first diagnosed with autism. I had noticed patterns of sleeplessness and hyperactivity during the night and I resolved to find a solution for the sleep problem. I established a sleeping routine that involves her getting ready for bed an hour before bedtime. She engages in calming activities such as listening to a story I read her, light massage, or just cuddling her teddy bear. She is accustomed to that routine and she sleeps better.

By sleeping enough during the night, she is less hyperactive during the day and this helps keep her safe from wandering.

Her room is always ready for her—less noise, less light, fewer distractions, and a more comfortable bed with weighted blankets.

I vowed to understand my daughter. It is the best way to keep her safe. Instead of reacting to every situation with a lecture, I learned to anticipate specific behavior for specific situations. Today, I can tell, with near certainty, when she will wander off.

 

 

I'm Annabelle Short, a writer and seamstress of more than five years. I love making crafts with my two children, Leo (age 9) and Michelle (age 11). I split my time between London and Los Angeles and write for Wunderlabel. 

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Funniest Parenting Tweets of the Week: May 31, 2019

by Karly Wood

About half the country is already out of school and ready to embrace summer––how did that happen!? While you’re gearing up for a season of sun and fun, keep scrolling to see this week’s roundup of parent tweets. They’re guaranteed to give you a laugh!

 

1. Just sayin’.

2. Sounds about right.

3. 🙄

4. Oh, it will be.

5. Besties!

6. Couldn’t be more true.

7. They go all out!

8. Here.You.Are.

9. Nope!

10. FRIGHTENING.

11. So excited for summer!

12. The jury’s still out.

13. At least she’s consistent

14. GENIUS

15. You wish….

https://twitter.com/andwhatamom/status/1133957990606704640

––Karly Wood

 

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This Ain’t Her First Rodeo

By Tammy Letherer

When my daughter was in fourth grade, she sang a solo in her school’s production of Schoolhouse Rock. I was sitting in the auditorium behind two men. A few bars into her rendition of “Elbow Room,” one turned to the other and said, ”I’m guessing this ain’t her first rodeo.”

Of course, I was thrilled to hear this compliment and it was all I could do to keep myself from tapping the guy on the shoulder and gushing about how she takes voice lessons and dreams of being a stage performer.

I share this because this week my daughter and I will head downtown to sign a contract with her first talent agent. As I sat in the waiting room during her recent audition and heard her nail a high note in a song from the opera The Sorcerer, I marveled at how she, at 12, teaches me to aim higher, be braver—and in the words of Theodore Roosevelt by way of Brene Brown, to “dare greatly.”

My daughter has maintained a single-minded focus when it comes to her vision. She says things like, “When I’m performing in a stadium…” or “When I live in New York and sing on Broadway…” She lets her imagination run free. She believes in herself.

So by the time she sang in front of the agents, they too could tell that this wasn’t her first rodeo, either.

Which got me thinking: What are my talents? How far back can I trace them? And in what ways do my experiences count for more than I allow?

If you’re like me, you may not give yourself credit for the bumps and bruises you’ve endured, or the many the times you’ve been knocked down and gotten right back up on that horse. Maybe you don’t want to remember the failures or, worse—believe that you’d be farther along if you’d made different choices.

The interesting thing about a rodeo is that it involves feats most people would never undertake. It’s scary. Participating in one requires an extremely specific skill set (or a huge dose of craziness). Success is measured in split seconds.

I’ve been to a rodeo only once. In my early twenties, I worked for a concession company and had a one-night gig selling beer in the grandstand at a rodeo. I was also working in my first real job as a copywriter and just beginning my first novel. I didn’t think that one night at a rodeo would contribute in any way to my dream of being a writer.

But here it is: 30 years later, showing up on the page.

My point is that I’ve realized something important: everything I do is in service to my dream. Every frightening moment, every detour, every cringe-worthy experience. And every success, shining moment or surprising achievement.

That night at the school assembly, I heard my daughter sing, “The way was opened up for those with bravery.”

Yes, bravery is required.

Life is like a charging bull or a wild horse. It will buck me off. All I can do is embrace the failures and the chaos, make mistakes, be willing to fall on my face in front of others, to show my underbelly, to be less than perfect. I can keep doing what I love; in my case, that’s writing.

And I can thank my daughter for reminding me to dream big. I can remember that, whether I see it or not, there are throngs of people waiting, watching and rooting for me.

And they’re rooting for you, too.

This post originally appeared on www.TammyLetherer.com.

Tammy Letherer is an author, writing coach and blogger. She holds a degree in Journalism from Indiana University and has enjoyed a long, varied professional writing career. She is the author of a memoir, The Buddha at My Table (release date October 2018) and a novel, Hello Loved Ones. She lives in Chicago with her children.

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Dear Cool Mom, Can We Be Friends?

by Christal Y.

Becoming a mom can sometimes feel like entering the middle school cafeteria for the first time all over again. As we step into the cafeteria park, we wonder how we can befriend that cool mom on the playground without spouting the cheesy pick-up line, “um, where did you get your kid’s shoes?”. Elle of What’s Up Moms hilariously re-enacts this situation all moms face (which is frightening similar to the dating scene–remember that?) in her new video “Dear Cool Looking Mom in the Park.” Click play to watch the hilarious short below. We promise you’ll be in stitches.

Have you ever had that awkward “let’s be mom-friends” moment? Share your story in the Comments below!

— Christal Yuen

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New On Our Shelf: “Myrto” by John Biggs

by writerredri

You’ll want to share in the adventure of John Biggs’ debut young adult novel, Mytro, with your kids this summer. Hop on board the secret subway with them for a spectacular ride. This story is packed with suspense, history, and unexpected friendships and heroes. The Mytro is a train system that defies time and space, taking passengers to near and far off destinations in mere seconds — and has been in secret operation throughout human history.

Your kids will delight in Paul (nicknamed Turtle), the lonely, orphaned middle-schooler who stumbles upon a secret Mytro station in Central Park and the resulting friendship he makes with the elegant, Spanish Agata and the kind-hearted Nigerian boy, Ehioze. And parents will appreciate the family-oriented themes of love and friendship as the trio traverse continents together to save Agata’s family from evildoers bent on controlling the Mytro. Along the way, you’ll discover that the Mytro is tended to by Nayzuns, an underground creature inexplicably akin to humans, and studied by the Mytratti — a historic group of scientists (Einstein included) devoted to the secret.

Bigg’s knack for suspense will keep you flipping pages fast to see if the kids can keep one stop ahead of the frightening villains, so best keep this novel on your young adult’s Kindle and out of the hands of tots — there’s no little red caboose in back of this train.

Kindle edition available at Amazon.com for .99 cents

Written by: Maureen McDowell

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