These funny jokes will have them belly-laughing for days

Need a good joke when you’re in a pinch? We’ve got you covered with a joke of the day for almost a whole year, and most of them are original! These hilarious jokes for kids require little to no explanation from parents, but you’ll want to get in on the fun, anyway. From cheesy jokes to knock-knock jokes and beyond, many of these have been sent to us by kids themselves. We’ve also got squeaky-clean jokes, spring jokes, and printable lunchbox jokes. And for those looking to take the fun to the next level, we’ve got the best minute to win it games, too.

Why should you share jokes with your kids?

Because it allows kids to learn to laugh at themselves and not take themselves too seriously. It’s an easy way to have quality time that doesn’t include a screen. So go ahead, scroll through our favorite jokes for kids, and spend 15 minutes having a good chuckle with your kiddos.

1. What do you call an ant who fights crime? 
A vigilante! 

—Joe L., age 10 

2. Knock knock.
Who’s there?
Olive.
Olive who?
Olive YOU!

3. Why did the teddy bear say no to dessert?
Because she was stuffed.

4. What do you call a little legume?
A Tinybean.

5. What did the left eye say to the right eye?
Between us, something smells!

6. Why did the police play baseball?
He wanted to get a catch!

—Yuna, age 8

7. What did the microwave say to the other microwave?
Is it just me? Or is it really hot in here?

—Yuna, age 8

8. Why did the student eat his homework?
Because the teacher told him it was a piece of cake!

9. Knock knock.
Who’s there?
Interrupting pirate.
Interrupting pir—yarrrrrr!

10. What is brown, hairy, and wears sunglasses?
A cool coconut.

11. Two pickles fell out of a jar onto the floor. What did one say to the other?
Dill with it.

12. What do you call a fake noodle?
An impasta!

13. Why did the kid cross the playground?
To get to the other slide.

14. Knock knock.
Who’s there?
Icy.
Icy who?
Icy you trying not to laugh at my knock-knock joke!

15. What kind of lion doesn't roar?
A dandelion.

16. How do you stop an astronaut’s baby from crying?
You rocket!

17. Why was 6 afraid of 7?
Because 7, 8, 9

18. What does a cloud wear under a raincoat?
Thunderwear.

19. When does a joke become a “dad” joke?
When the punchline is a parent.

20. What do you call a dinosaur fart?
A blast from the past.

Related: 100+ of The Best Clean Jokes For Kids

21. What did the limestone say to the geologist?
Don’t take me for granite!

22. What do you call a duck that gets all A’s?
A wise quacker.

23. Why does a seagull fly over the sea?
Because if it flew over the bay, it would be a baygull.

24. Which is faster? Hot or cold?
Hot. You can easily catch a cold. 

25. What kind of tree fits in your hand?
A palm tree!

26. Why can't you trust an atom?
They make up everything.

27. Why was the baby strawberry crying?
Because her parents were in a jam.

28. What did the little corn say to the mama corn?
Where is pop corn?

29. What is worse than raining cats and dogs?
Hailing taxis!

30. How much does it cost a pirate to get his ears pierced?
About a buck an ear.

31. Where would you find an elephant?
The same place you lost her!

32. How do you talk to a giant?
Use big words!

33. What animal is always at a baseball game?
A bat.

34. What falls in winter but never gets hurt?
Snow!

35. What do you call a ghost’s true love?
His ghoul-friend.

36. What building in New York has the most stories?
The public library!

37. What did one volcano say to the other?
I lava you!

38. How do we know that the ocean is friendly?
It waves!

39. What is a tornado’s favorite game to play?
Twister!

40. How do baby cats learn how to swim?
The kitty pool.

41. How do you get a squirrel to like you?
Act like a nut!

42. What do you call two birds in love?
Tweethearts!

43. How does a scientist freshen her breath?
With experi-mints!

44. How are false teeth like stars?
They come out at night!

45. How can you tell a vampire has a cold?
She starts coffin.

46. What’s worse than finding a worm in your apple?
Finding half a worm.

47. What is a computer's favorite snack?
Computer chips!!
—reader Rebecca K.

48. Why don’t elephants chew gum?
They do, just not in public.

49. What was the first animal in space?
The cow that jumped over the moon

50. What did the banana say to the dog?
Nothing. Bananas can’t talk.

51. What time is it when the clock strikes 13?
Time to get a new clock.

52. How does a cucumber become a pickle?
It goes through a jarring experience.

53. Which city does Paw Patrol like the most? 
New Yorkie.

54. What do you think of that new diner on the moon?
Food was good, but there really wasn’t much atmosphere.

55. Why did the dinosaur cross the road?
Because the chicken wasn’t born yet.

56. Why can’t Elsa have a balloon?
Because she will let it go.

57. How do you make an octopus laugh?
With ten-tickles!

58. How do you make a tissue dance?
You put a little boogie in it.

59. What's green and can fly?
Super Pickle!

60. When you look for something, why is it always in the last place you look?
Because when you find it, you stop looking.

little girl and boy sharing a joke
Saeed Karimi via Unsplash

61. Why do shrimp never share?
They're so shellfish.

62. What musical instrument is found in the bathroom?
A tuba toothpaste.

63. Why did the kid bring a ladder to school?
Because she wanted to go to high school.

64. Where do vampires keep their money?
A blood bank.

65. What do elves learn in school?
The elf-abet.

66. What do you call a dog magician?
A labracadabrador.

67. Where do pencils go on vacation?
Pencil-vania.

68. Why couldn't the pony sing a lullaby?
She was a little horse.

69. What do you cakes and baseball have in common?
They both need a batter! 

70. What gets wetter the more it dries?
A towel.

71. What do you call two bananas?
Slippers.

And speaking of bananas...

72. Why did the banana go to the doctor?
Because it wasn’t peeling well.

73. Why was the mushroom the life of the party?
It was a fungi.

74. What stays in the corner yet can travel all over the world?  
A stamp.

75. How do you fix a cracked pumpkin?
With a pumpkin patch.

76. What kind of award did the dentist receive?
A little plaque.

77. What do you call a funny mountain?
Hill-arious.

78. What should you drink while singing nursery rhymes?
Hot Cocomelon.

79. Why do bees have sticky hair?
Because they use a honeycomb.

Related: 30 Wacky Winter Jokes for Kids

80. What did the big flower say to the little flower?
Hi, bud!

81. There are two robots sitting on a wall. They are named Pete and Re-Pete. Pete falls off. Who is left?
(Re-Pete...so you repeat the whole thing again and again and again.)

—Henrik P., 10 

82. What is a pony’s favorite juice?
She really likes lemon-neigh’d.

—5-year-old Kerrigan

83. Where do fish keep their money?
In the River-Bank!

—Jaxon G., 7 y.o.

84. What do you call an alligator with a vest?
An investigator!

—Milo H-R, age 8

85. Why was the computer cold?
It left its window open!

—Milo H-R, age 8

86. Knock knock!
Who’s there?
Boo.
Boo who?
Don’t cry!

—Milo H-R, age 8

87. In baseball, would it take longer to run from 1st to 2nd base or 2nd to 3rd base?
2nd to 3rd base because there’s a shortstop in between.

—Milo H-R, age 8

88. What has lots of leaves but never actually grew?
A book!

—Milo H-R, age 8

89. Why was the computer cold?
It had a virus. 

—Henrik, age 10 

90. Why did the invisible man turn down the job offer?
Because he couldn’t see himself doing it.

—Jan L. 

91. Who keeps the ocean clean?
The mer-maid.

—Jan L. 

92. What did the astronaut say when he crashed into the moon?
"I Apollo-gize."

93. Why didn’t the orange win the race?
It ran out of juice.

94. What dinosaur had the best vocabulary?  
The thesaurus.

95. What did one DNA strand say to the other DNA strand?
Do these genes make my butt look big?

96. Why aren’t dogs good dancers?
They have two left feet.

97. What did the wolf say when it stubbed its toe?
Owwwww-ch! (by Henrik, age 5)

98. Kid: What are you doing under there?
Mom: Under where?
Kid: Ha ha! You said underwear!!

99. Why did Johnny throw the clock out of the window?
Because he wanted to see time fly.

100. What did one toilet say to the other?
You look flushed.

101. Why did the man put his money in the freezer?
He wanted cold hard cash!

102. Why couldn’t the astronaut book a hotel on the moon?
Because it was full.

103. How do pickles enjoy a day out?
They relish it.

104. What do you call an old snowman?
Water.

105. What’s a pirate’s favorite letter?
Arrrrrrrrrr

106. What do you get when you cross an elephant with a fish?
Swimming trunks.

107. How do you throw a party in space?
You planet.

108. What do you call an attractive fruit?
A fine apple!

109. What happened when the skunk was on trial?
The judge declared, “Odor in the court, odor in the court!”

110. What do you call a sleeping bull?
A bulldozer!

111. Why did the tomato blush?
It saw the salad dressing.

112. What do you call a fish without an eye?
A fsh.

113. What’s the difference between roast beef and pea soup?
Anyone can roast beef.

114. What do you get when you cross a centipede with a parrot?
A walkie talkie.

115. Why are robots never afraid?
They have nerves of steel.

116. Why did the cabbage win the race?
Because it was a-head.

117. What does an evil hen lay?
Deviled eggs.

118. What does a book do in the winter?
Puts on a jacket.

119. Knock knock!
Who’s there?
Needle.
Needle who?
Needle little help right now.

Related: 30+ Math Jokes for Kids That Add Up to Laughs

120. What sound do you hear when a cow breaks the sound barrier?
Cowboom!

121. What kind of haircuts to bees get?
Buzzzzzcuts.

122. Knock knock!
Who’s there?
Donut.
Donut who?
Donut ask me, I just got here.

124. What do you get if you cross a pie and a snake?
A pie-thon.

125. What do you do if you get peanut butter on your doorknob?
Use a door jam.

126. Why was 6 so mad at 7?
Because 7 8 9.

127. Why didn’t the robot finish his breakfast?
Because the orange juice told him to concentrate.

128. Why can’t you play hockey with pigs?
They always hog the puck.

129. Why do porcupines always win the game?
They have the most points.

130. Where do elephants pack their clothes?
In their trunks!

131. What does bread do on vacation?
Loaf around.

132. Why was the broom running late?
It over-swept.

133. What part of the fish weighs the most?
The scales.

134. What do ghosts like to eat in the summer?
I Scream.

135. Why did the teacher wear sunglasses to school?
Because her students were so bright.

136. What do you call a deer with pink eye?
A colorful eye-deer. (credit to Capt. John of the Appledore!)

137, Where do sheep go on vacation?
The Baaa-hamas.

138. What does every birthday end with?
The letter Y.

139. What did the paper say to the pencil?
Write on!

140. Why do birds fly?
It’s faster than walking.

141. Why did Superman flush the toilet?
Because it was his doody.

142. Why did the pillow cross the road?
It was picking up the chicken’s feathers.

143. Can February March?
No, but April May.

144. What time do ducks wake up?
At the quack of dawn.

145. Why did the giraffes get bad grades?
She had her head in the clouds.

146. What did the flower say after it told a joke?
I was just pollen your leg.

147. What did the traffic light say to the truck?
Don’t look, I’m changing.

148. What do kids play when they don’t have a phone?
Bored games.

149. Why didn’t the koala bear get the job?
They said she was over-koala-fied.

150. Who was that owl who did all the tricks?
Who-dini.

151. What kind of vegetable is angry?
A steamed carrot!

three girls laughing at jokes for kids
iStock

152. How does the moon stay up in the sky?
Moonbeams! 

153. Why isn't there a clock in the library?
Because it tocks too much. 

154. Why do you never see elephants hiding in trees?
Because they're so good at it! 

155. What day of the week are most twins born on?
Twos-day! 

(submitted by reader Scooter T.!) 

156. Would February March?
No, but April May. 

157. What do you call bears with no ears?
B. 

158. What kind of tree fits in your hand?
A palm tree!

168. What do you call a fly with no wings?
A walk. 

—Jasper L., young reader submitted!

169. What’s yellow and looks like pineapple?
A lemon with a new haircut. 

—submitted (and created) by Rafael L. 

Related: 41 Giggle-Inducing Jokes for Toddlers

170. What do you call a deer with no eyes?
"No eye-deer." 

—also sent in by young Raffy 

171. What did the lunchbox say to the banana?
You really have appeal. 

172. What did the mouse say to the keyboard?

You're my type! 

173. What did the science book say to the math book?
Wow, you've got problems. 

174. How do squids get to school?

They take an octobus. 

175. Where do mermaids look for jobs?
The kelp-wanted section. 

176. What word starts with the letter t, ends with the letter t, and has t in it?
A teapot!

—young reader Collin S.

177. What has four wheels and flies?
A garbage truck!

—Lewis G.

178.  Two goats were munching on a movie script. 
Goat 1: This is good!
Goat 2: The book was better.

—reader submitted by Mr. Jeffry

179. What do you call a monkey at the North Pole?
Lost.

—submitted by Stella D.

180. Why did Humpty Dumpty have a great fall?
To make up for his miserable summer.

—reader submitted by Kaci Y.  

181. Why did the woman become an archeologist?
Because her career was in ruins.

182. Knock knock! 
Who's there?
Manatee. 
Manatee who?
Manatee would be better than a sweater today, it's hot! 

183. What do you call two monkeys that share an Amazon account?
Primemates!

—Merci P., aged 10

184. What snack should you make for the Snowman Holiday Party?
Ice Krispy Treats

—Emmerson H., age 13

185. What do you call a nun who sleepwalks?
A roamin' Catholic. 

—Janice B., a reader like you! 

186. Why do birds fly south?
It's too far to walk.

—Pearl, age 10

187. What did the traffic light say to the cars?
Don't look, I'm changing!

—reader, age 6 

188. Why is there a gate around cemeteries?
Because people are dying to get in!

189. What is a scarecrow's favorite fruit?
A strawberry. 

190. How does a hurricane see?
With one eye. 

191. How do they answer the phone at the paint store?
Yellow!

—Lily, age 6

192. Why do scissors always win a race?
Because they take a shortcut!

—Foster, age 5 

193. How do you stop a bull from charging? 
You unplug it! 

—Jadyn, Age 12 

194. What did the dad say to his daughter at the cook out? 
This grill is on fire! 
 

—Jadyn, 12 (This kid is on fire! 🤣) 

195. Why did the king go to the bathroom?
He wanted to sit on the throne.

—Eric, age 10

196. What is a pirate's favorite body part?
The booty!

—C.J., age 9

197. If it takes two men to dig a hole in one day how long would it take for one man to dig a half a hole?           
There is no such thing as a half a hole.

—Eric, age 10

198. How do cats bake cake?
From scratch. 

—reader Jacey

199. What is a zombie's favorite thing to eat?
Brain food. 

200. How do you fix a broken tomato?
With a can of tomato paste. 

201. What do you call a rabbit with lice?
Bugs Bunny. 

a family laughing at jokes for kids
iStock

202. It took 10 workers 10 days to build a bridge.  How long would it take 5 workers to build the same bridge?
None—it’s already built!

—Liam, age 7 

203. How do you make the word Tiger longer?
Ti-grrrh

—Kabir, Age 9

204. How do you clean chicken?  -
Put it in dishwasher.

—Kabir, Age 9

205. What do frogs order at McDonalds?
French flies and a Croak-a-Cola.

206. There's a girl on a boat in a pretty pink coat. What's her name?
What. 

—Ray, age 9

207. Where does a rat go when it has a toothache?
To the rodentist. 

—Ray, age 9!

208. What does an alien do when it is bored in school?
Spaces out. 

—Ray! (they are on a roll!), age 9

209. What does a broken plate say when she gets her cupcake?
Is this GLUE-ten free?

—Guess who? Ray! age 9 

210. Why didn't the hyena cross the road?
He was too busy laughing. 

—reader submitted by Gillian P. 

211. Have you heard the one about the student who was afraid of negative numbers?
He'll stop at nothing to avoid them.

212. What do you call it when a hammock teases another hammock?
Hammockery!

—Joe L., age 8 

213. What did they say when Marie Curie and Albert Einstein said the same thing at the same time?
Greatest minds think alike! 

—Henrik, age 9

214. What did the kid learn about knowledge?
It was all knowing.

—Reader submitted by Deziree

215. Why did the chicken go the hospital?
Because it needed some tweatment!

—Joshua Y., age 9 
 
 
216. Why did the skeletons cross the road?

To get to the body shop!

—Also Mr. Joshua Y., age 9

217. What is more impressive than a talking parrot?
A spelling bee.

—submitted by...drumroll...Joshua Y., age 9!! 

218. What do you call babies in the army?
Infantry! 

—Joe L., age 9

219. What is a cat's favorite color?
Purrr-ple! 

—Olivia W., age 7 

220. Why did the dragon cross the road?
Because he was too chicken to fly!       

—Joshua Y. 

221. Who won the race of princesses?
Rapunzel, By a hair!

—Josh Y! 

222. What did the egg say when it was late for breakfast?
I have to scramble!

—our buddy, Joshua Y. 

223. How do you stop a bull from charging?
You take away it's credit card!

—Joshua Y. 

224. Where does the T-rex go shopping?
The dino store!

—Joshua Y., age 9 

225. Why was the rabbit happy?
Because somebunny loved him!

—Guess who? Joshua Y.! 

226. What did the pear say to the shoeless?
You need a pair of shoes. 

—reader submitted by Rose A. 

227. What do you call a bear with no ear?
A "B"

—Alexis R. 

228. What would happen if the dean lost his job?
He would lose his "ideanity." 

—Joshua Y. 

229. Why did the baby cross the road? 

To get to the whine shop!

—Matilda C., age 7

230. Why shouldn’t you trust stairs?
Because they are always up to something.

—Ryder, Age 3!!! 

Related: 20 Cheesy Jokes To Make Anyone Crack a Smile

231. Why did the scarecrow win an award?
Because he was out standing in his field.

—Suzanna R. 

232. What do you call a cat burrito?
A purrito

—Rosewyn age 8 and 3 quarters 

233. What kind of key opens a banana?
A monkey!

—Rosewyn age 8 and 3 quarters 

234. What do you call a pounding headache? 
A temple tantrum!

—hilarious reader, MJ Sims

235. How do you get a cat to code?

You Scratch it!

—Musegirl, 8

236. Why was the man mad at the clock?

He was ticked off!

—Nolan A. age 8

237. What is the strongest kind of shoe?

Under Armor!

—Liam A. age 9

238. Why did Rudolph have a bad report card?

Because he went down in History!

—Sreeja K., age 8 

239. Why don't scientists trust atoms?
Because they make up everything!

—Sreeja K., age 8 

240. Why can't you spell dark with a "c", so it says "darc"?
Because you can't c in dark!

—Shivani age 8

241. How do you clean a chicken?
An egg wash!

—MB, age 12 

242. Why did the cookie have to go to the doctor?
It was feeling crummy. 

243. What's Joanna Gaines' favorite snack food?
Chips

—H.P., aged 9

244. Why didn’t the skeleton cross the road?
Because there was noBody on the other side. 

—Grandpa Jo, 54

245. Why didn’t the skeleton cross the road?
He didn't have the guts. 

—Londynn, 9

246. What do you do when an astronaut’s wife is upset?
Give her some space.

—Jaden, 11

247. Why did the young astronaut cry on the moon?
Because he missed his mother earth. 

—A mother on earth

248. Two monkeys were fighting over a banana. What happened?
Banana split! 

—Saori K. 

249. What is a vampire's favorite fruit?
A blood orange!

—Rianna G., age 10

250. Why don't eggs like to gamble?
They always get a raw deal. 

251. When is a door not a door?
When it's ajar. 

252. Why did the scientist take out the bell?
He wanted to win the no-bell prize. 

—DT 

253. Why are strawberries natural musicians?
They love to jam. 

254. What is orange and sounds like a parrot?
A carrot! 

Related: 40+ Hilarious Knock Knock Jokes for Kids

little girl laughing on a swing
iStock

255. Did you hear about the kid who drank eight sodas?
He burped 7-Up. 

256. What be the pirate's favorite letter of the alphabet?
Arrrr! 
No, it be the C! (Sea).

—A hilarious 6-year-old reader. 

257. What is a tree's favorite beverage?
Root beer! 

258. Why do fish live in saltwater?
Pepper makes them sneeze! ACHOOOOOO!!!!!!

—Hasset A. 

259. Why are fish so smart?
Because they live in a school!

—Ronit P. 

The following four jokes were written by Kaleb, age 4, as told to his grandpa:

260. Why did the cow lie down in the grass? 
He was ground beef.

261. What did Mama cow say to Baby cow? 
It’s pasture bedtime.

262. Why did the phone walk in the water? 
He was wading for a phone call.

263. What is blue, but not heavy?
Light blue.

264. How do you find Will Smith in the snow?
You look for fresh prints. 

—Joshua N. 

265. Why don't you ever date a tennis player?
Because love means nothing to them.

—Joshua N. 

266. "Doctor, doctor I am afraid of squirrels!"
Doctor: You must be nuts.

—reader Jerry C. 

267. What happened to the frog whose car broke down?
He had to be toad! 

—Martin F. 

268. What is the best day to visit McDonalds?
Fry-Day!

—Gianni, age 6

269. What's a cow's favorite drink?
A s-moooo-thie.

—Young readers Jax (7) and Kora (5)

270. Knock knock!
Who’s there?
Cow
Cow who? 
Cows don’t say who, they say moooo!

—Adalyn, age 5

271. Why did the tomato stop?
Because he was out of juice. 

—Karma E. 

Related: 51 Totally Goofy Birthday Jokes for Kids

272. What are cats best at?
Cat-apulting!

—Macy (10)

273. Where do cats roam?
In the catacombs!

—Katie (34)

274. What kind of stick does a cat chase?
A cat-stick!

—Macy (10)

275. What kind of fruit does a dog eat?
A dog-berry!

—Macy (10) & Katie (34)

276. Why do hockey players make great bankers?
Because they are good at checking.

—Henrik, age 9 3/4

277. How do chickens dance?
Chick to chick.

278. Mr. Red and Ms. Red live in the red house; Mr. Purple and Ms. Purple live in the purple house. Who lives in the white house?
The president!

—submitted by young reader Gwen I.

279. Why did the chicken cross the road?
It was trying to get away from the KFC.

—Ben, age 8

280. Who sits at the bottom of the sea and twitches?
A nervous wreck.

—Alesha, age 11

281. Why was the snowman in the box?
Because he was picking his nose.

—Peter, age 8

 

happy kids laughing
iStock

These next five were sent in from Jax (7) and Kora (5):

282. What’s a dog's favorite toy?
A funny bone!

283. What’s a cow's favorite rock?
A mooo-n rock

284. What’s the scariest plant?
Bam-booo!

285. What’s a cow's favorite place to go?
The mooo-vies!

286. What’s the scariest injury?
A booo-booo!

(Jax & Kora!) 

287. Why was the snow yellow?
Because Elsa let it go! 

—Kaylee

289. Why did the girl smear peanut butter on the road?
To go with the traffic jam!

—Scarlett 

290. What do you call a dinosaur that is sleeping?
A dino-snore!

291. What do you get when you cross a vampire and a snowman?
Frost bite!

292. What did one plate say to the other plate?
Dinner is on me!

293. What do you call Chewbacca with cookies in its fur?
A chocolate-chip Wookie. 

—Jake

294. What is black and white and looks like a penguin?
A penguin. 

—Zhan, age 5 

295. What does a cow like to drink?
A smoothie. 

—Carolina, age 8

296. Why did the parent hit the cake with a hammer?
It was a pound cake. 

little girl and her mom laughing at jokes
iStock

297.  When is the best time to go to the dentist?
At tooth-hurty!!!

—Tyler R.

298. Why is "dark" spelled with a k and not a c? 
Because you can’t c in the dark!

—Garrett

299. A new pig came to the farm, he was a great painter. What do you think his name was?
Pigasso!

—Amara

A spin-off:

300. What is the name of the Dutch pig who was famous for painting sunflowers and cutting off his ear?
Vincent van Hog

—Gloria, age 8

301. What is a bat’s favorite game to play?
A com-bat

—Bianca, age 7

302. What did the salad say to the carrot after it lost the fight?
You've lettuce down.

—Joe, age 10

303. What did the salad say to the carrot when it asked for directions to a restaurant?
Beets me!

—Joe, age 10

304. Why don't eggs tell each other jokes?
They'd crack each other up!

—Raina, age 10

305. Which milkshake always comes with a straw?
A strawberry milkshake

—Gloria, age 8

306. What stories do crustaceans like best?
Lobster Tales

—Gloria, age 8

307. What did the basketball say to the hoop when it missed?
Oh shoot!

—Layla, age 9

308. Why did the lion cross the road?
To get to the other pride!

309. What is the best gift you could ever ask for?
Broken drum sticks. You just can't beat it. 

—Nate

310. Why did the nurse have a red crayon?
To draw blood.

—Charlotte

311. What mood best describes a sad librarian?
Under the books.

—Elliana

Related: You’ll Be Taco-ing about These Jokes All Day

312. What do you call a Buffalo that likes beef?
A Beef-alo

313. What does a camel say to a hunter?
Do you need some camel-flage

314. Why does the dinosaur like the bathroom?
Because it’s ex-stink-t

315. Why does the dentist use a computer?
Because it has Bluetooth.

—Jokes 312-315 by Gunner, age 8

316. What’s grey?
A melted penguin.

317. What goes black, white, black, white, black white?
A penguin rolling down a hill.
318. Can a match box?
No, but a tin can!
319. Why was the baby in Egypt?
It was looking for its mummy.
320. Why did the chewing gum cross the road?
It was stuck on the chicken’s foot.
321. What does a cow eat for breakfast?
Mooo-esli.
322. Doctor, doctor, I feel like a dog.
Then go and see a vet!

323. What do girl snakes write at the bottom of their letters?
With love and hisses.

324. Why did the bacteria cross the microscope?
To get to the other slide.
—Jokes 316-324 by Elijah, age 11
325. Knock, knock
Who’s there?
Lettuce.
Lettuce who?
Let us in, it’s cold out here!

326. What do you get when you cross a bridge with a car?
To the other side of the river.

327. What do you get when you cross an elephant with a cake?
Crumbs.

328. Doctor, doctor, I keep thinking I’m a dog.
Then sit on the couch and we’ll talk about it,
But I’m not allowed on the furniture!

329. Doctor, doctor I feel like a sheep.
That’s baa-aaa-aad.

330. What do you call a bee that buzzes quietly?
A mumble bee.

—Jokes 325-330 by Malachi, age 7 and a half

331. Where do you find a polar bear? 
The same place you left her.

—Thomas, age 7

332. What is fast, loud, and crunchy?
A rocket chip!

333. How does a vampire start a letter?
Tomb it may concern…

334. What has ears but cannot hear?
A field of corn…

335. Did you hear the one about the claustrophobic astronaut?

He just needed a little space.

Make sure to capture all the giggles—and share them with your family and friends near and far—with the Tinybeans app. The secure platform puts parents in total control of who sees and interacts with photos and videos of their kids.

Looking for some fun riddles for kids to keep those little minds sharp? Or maybe even a few hard riddles for kids? We’ve found kid-friendly puzzlers just right for your family. Share these riddles for kids with answers on the way to school or over dinner. And for even more, check out this adorable kid’s book.

Don’t stop here! Check out our trivia for kids and our ultimate list of jokes for kids for more fun.

What is a riddle?

A riddle is a brain-teasing question with a hidden meaning or answer requiring creative, out-of-the-box thinking. The answers are often things you wouldn’t think about, so be sure to take your time solving these easy riddles for kids!

Why should you share riddles with kids?

Riddles, and other brain teasers like hidden word puzzles, sudoku, and crossword puzzles help keep the brain sharp and help to develop problem-solving skills and creativity. Plus, it’s just fun to ask kids funny riddles and see their reactions!

One-Word Answers for Easy Riddles

1. What has hands but cannot write or clap?

A clock.

2. What has stripes and goes through the air?

Hint: It sometimes goes on the ground, too!

A basketball.

3. I am yellow, and I write, and my mate is white. What am I? 

A pencil.

4. What gets wetter the more it dries?

A towel.

5. What has a neck but no head and arms but no hands?

A shirt.

6. Remove my skin and I won't cry, but you might! What am I?

An onion.

7. What kind of ship has two mates but no captain?

A relationship.

8. I'm taller when I'm young and shorter when I'm old. What am I?

A candle.

9. What is always right in front of you, yet you cannot see it?

The future.

10. What has a tongue but cannot talk?

A shoe.

11. What is easier to get into than out of?

Trouble.

12. What always ends up broken before you use it?

An egg.

13. What begins with T ends with T and has a T in it?

A teapot.

14. What breaks as soon as you say its name?

Silence.

15. If you threw a yellow stone into a blue sea, what would it become?

Wet.

16. What number is odd until you take away one letter; then it becomes even?

Seven.

17. What runs but cannot walk, has a mouth but no teeth, and has a bed but cannot sleep?

A river.

18. There is one word spelled wrong in every English dictionary. What is it?

Wrong.

19. What goes in your pocket but keeps it empty?

A hole.

20. What has legs but cannot walk?

A chair.

21. I sometimes run but cannot walk. You follow me around. What am I?

Your nose.

22. What word begins and ends with the E but only has one letter?

Envelope.

23. What do you find at the end of a rainbow?

The letter W.

Related: Here Comes the Pun: 300+ Best Jokes for Kids

dad and daughter laughing at easy riddles
iStock

24. What are two things you can never eat for dinner? 

Breakfast and Lunch.

25. I can be cracked or played; told or made. What am I?

A joke! 

26. I give you one, and you have two or none. What am I?

A choice. 

27. What has four eyes but cannot see?

MISSISSIPPI 

28. What belongs to you but is used most often by everyone else?

Your name. 

29. I fall but I never get hurt. What am I?

Snow. 

30. What's full of holes but still holds water? 

A sponge. 

31. What has a bottom at the top?

Legs

Related: 18 Unique Facts About the Wright Brothers

Riddles for Kids with Long Answers

little girl telling her little sister an easy riddle
iStock

32. A man holds $5.50 in his hand but only has one coin. How is this possible?

He has a $5 bill and one 50-cent piece. 

33. How many months of the year have 28 days?

All of them (they all have at least 28 days). 

34. When is "L" greater than "XL"?

When you use Roman numerals.

35. What is always on the dinner table but you cannot eat it?

A plate. (Or a fork, etc.)

36. What can you hold in your right hand but never your left hand?

Your left hand. 

37. A cowboy comes into town on Friday. He stays two nights at a local hotel. He leaves on Friday. How is this possible?

His horse's name is Friday.  

38. A woman is sitting in his cabin in Minnesota. In less than three hours, she's in her cabin in Texas. How can this be?

The woman is a pilot and she's sitting in the cabin of her airplane. 

39. What is as big as a hippo but weighs nothing at all?

A hippo's shadow. 

40. What bank never has any money?

A river bank. 

41. How do you make the number “one” disappear?

Add a “g” and it is “gone.”

42. If an electric train is traveling 60 MPH and going against the wind, which way will the train's smoke drift?

There is no smoke from an electric train. 

43. Why did the kid bury his walkie-talkie? 

Because the batteries died. 

44. Two fathers and two sons went fishing. They only caught 3 fish, but they caught one fish each. How is this possible?

It was a grandfather, a father, and a grandson/son. (Both the grandfather and father are fathers and both the father and grandson are sons). 

Easy Riddles Submitted by Readers

iStock

45. I am loved, for I am sweet

I come in many forms

but I’m always a treat

before apple and after cotton

dentists contend that I’ll

make your teeth rotten

What am I?

Candy

—from young reader Gloria, age 8

46. There was a circle house. There was a chef, a nanny, a butler, two children, and a maid. The boy child was found dead. The nanny said she was playing with the girl, the chef said he was cooking dinner and the maid said she was dusting the corners. So who killed the boy? 

The maid because she was lying about dusting corners. A circle house has no corners. 

—submitted by Joshua Y., age 9

47. What has a head and a tail but no body?

A coin. 

—Young reader Katelyn

48. Mr. Red and Ms. Red live in the red house, Mr. Purple and Ms. Purple live in the purple house. Who lives in the white house? 

The President! 

—from young reader Gwen I

49. If you feed me, I grow, but if you give me water, I die.

Fire

—Young reader Sai Sri Vallabh

50. What has a mouth, a bed, and always runs? 

A river. 

—Chase, age 9

 

Riddles for Brain-Teasing Fun

51. What five-letter word gets short when you add two letters to the end? 

Short.

52. What type of cheese is made backward? 

Edam

53. A cat wants to get in better shape. She’s going to start by climbing the stairs. Starting on the fourth floor, she climbs up five stories, down seven stories, up six stories, down three stories, and up four stories again. What floor is she on?

The ninth floor.

54. There was a blue one-story house in a nice neighborhood. Everything in it was blue—the walls, the carpets, the furniture, and even the dog! What color were the stairs?

There are no stairs because it's a one-story house.

 

 

 

Need a good laugh? These Thanksgiving jokes will keep the whole family entertained for hours on turkey day

Add a little levity to the Thanksgiving table this year with some kid-approved Thanksgiving jokes. We gathered our favorite jokes about pie and funny jokes about turkeys for this list that will have your whole family laughing before dessert is even served! If you’re looking for more ways to keep the kids entertained during the holiday, check out our fun free Thanksgiving printables and Thanksgiving games for kids.

Turkey Thanksgiving Jokes

1. Why was the turkey late for Thanksgiving? 
He ran out of thyme.

2. What are turkeys most thankful for on Thanksgiving?
Vegetarians

3. What instrument does the turkey play in the band? 
The drums because he already has the drumsticks.

4. Who comes to Thanksgiving dinner but is not hungry?
The turkey because he’s already stuffed!

5. What side of the turkey has the most feathers? 
The outside.

6. Why did the turkey cross the road? 
The chicken was on vacation.

7. What kind of weather does a turkey like? 
Fowl weather!

8. What kind of key can’t open doors?
A tur-key!

9. Why did the turkey get arrested?
He was suspected of fowl play.

10. What do you call a turkey running in a sprint?
Fast food.

Jokes about Dessert

11. How do you fix a cracked pumpkin pie?
With a pumpkin patch.

12. What do you get if you cross a pie and a snake?
A pie-thon.

13. What’s the best thing to put in pumpkin pie? 
Your teeth.

14. What’s a pumpkin’s favorite game?
Squash

15. Why did the pumpkin pie cross the road? 
It saw a fork up ahead.

16. Why did the pie go to the dentist? 
It needed a filling.

17. Why did the apple pie cry?
Its peelings were hurt.

18. What did the pie say to the fork? 
You want a piece of me?

Thanksgiving Dinner Jokes

little girl smiling at Thanksgiving jokes
iStock

19. What did one plate say to the other plate?
Dinner is on me!

20. How many cranberries grow on a bush?
All of them.

21. What smells the best at Thanksgiving dinner?
Your nose.

22. Knock, Knock
Who’s there?
Harry!
Harry who?
Harry up, I’m hungry! 

23. What is the role of green beans at Thanksgiving dinner?
The casserole

24. What’s a potato’s favorite game to play during Thanksgiving dinner?
MASH

25. What kind of music do pilgrims listen to?
Plymouth Rock

 

Why was Chicago blushing at the party? Find out by reading this hilarious list of laugh-out-loud funny jokes that Chicago kids will adore.

If you find yourself on chaperone duty for a school field trip or want to pep up mealtime with your kids, the best way to keep them entertained is to have silly jokes on the ready. Even if they’re not SNL-quality, the kids will love the cheese. They’ll hover on the edge of their seats (figuratively), waiting for you to deliver the wholesome punchlines. For an easy and free way to entertain kids, here are some tried and true Chicago-themed jokes that will make them chuckle.

ixabay via Pexels

1. What do you call a loud person from Chicago?

Illinoisy.

2. How are the Blackhawk players paid? 

With a check.

3. What did Lake Michigan say to the sand?

Nothing, it just waved.

4. Where do Bears players go to dance?

The Foot Ball.

5. Where are baby chicks born?

In Chick-cago.

6. What do you call a neighborhood that can't stand still?

Wrigleyville.

7. How did the Chicago hot dog get a date with the ketchup?

He mustard up the courage to ask.

8. What runs around Wrigley Field but never moves?

The wall.

9. What does a Chicago pizza wear to smell good?

Calzogne.

10. What type of person doesn’t like deep-dish pizza?

A weir-dough.

Chait Goli via Pexels

11. Why was Chicago blushing at the party?

Because it's ShyTown.

12. Which Chicago Fire player has the biggest cleats?

The one with the biggest feet.

13. Why can't a man living in New York be buried in Chicago?

Because he's still alive.

14. What is the tallest building in Chicago?

The library, because it has so many stories.

15. What do runners eat before the Chicago marathon?

Nothing! They fast!

Chicago White Sox

16. Why did the White Sox hire a baker?

They needed a good batter.

17. Why was Hamilton in Chicago canceled in the winter?

Because, once again, Brrr killed Hamilton.

18. Why was the magician selected as a forward for the Blackhawks? 

The coach was impressed by his hat-tricks.

19. Why can’t Bulls players go on vacation?

They aren’t allowed to travel.

20. What runs but never walks?

The Chicago River

 

Need some belly laughs to treat the winter blues? These winter jokes for kids are sure to turn those frowns upside down.

The weather outside might be frightful, but that doesn’t mean you can’t enjoy some laughs. These winter jokes for kids are just the thing you need to pass the time when you’re stuck indoors. When you’ve had your fill, keep the laughs going all the way to spring with even more funny jokes. We’ve got knock-knock jokes, toddler jokes, and even corny dad jokes to keep you entertained.

happy face in the snow in the winter
Seema Miah via Unsplash

1. What kind of ball doesn’t bounce?

A snowball.

2. What do you call a snowman on rollerblades?

A snowmobile.

3. What do you call a snowman in the summer?

A puddle.

4. Why did the girl keep her trumpet out in the snow?

She liked playing cool jazz.

5. Where do snowmen love to dance?

At a snowball.

6. What do snowmen eat for lunch?

Icebergers.

7. What do you call a penguin in the Sahara desert?

Lost.

8. Where do snowmen put their money?

In snow banks.

9. What do you call a snowman temper tantrum?

A meltdown.

10. How do mountains stay warm in winter?

They put on their snowcaps.

Related: 20 Cheesy Jokes To Make Anyone Crack a Smile

boy in a coat laughing at winter jokes for kids
S&B Vonlanthen via Unsplash

11. What is the best breakfast cereal to eat in the winter?

Frosted flakes.

12. How did the snowglobe feel after hearing a scary story?

A bit shaken up.

13. What often falls in winter but never gets hurt?

Snow.

14. Which side of a polar bear has the most fur?

The outside.

15. What does December have that no other month does?

The letter D.

16. What did the icy road say to the truck?

Want to go for a spin?

17. What do you get when you cross a snowman and a shark?

Frost-bite.

18. Who were Frosty’s parents?

Mom and Pop-sicle.

19. What did one snowflake say to the other?

You’re one of a kind.

20. What did the hat say to the scarf?

You hang around while I go on ahead.

Related: 30+ Math Jokes for Kids That Add Up to Laughs

Showkat Chowdhury via Unsplash

21. What do you call an old snowman?

Water.

22. Why was the snowman rummaging through the bag of carrots?

He was picking his nose.

23. What did the tree say after a long winter?

What a re-leaf.

24. What do snowmen order at the deli?

Cold cuts.

25. How do polar bears make their beds?

With sheets of ice and blankets of snow.

26. What can you catch in the winter, even with your eyes closed? 

A cold.

27. Why did the bear keep getting fired? 

He always disappeared in the winter.

28. What did the police officer say when he saw the snowman stealing?

Freeze!

29. How does a penguin build a house?

Igloos it together.

30. Why did the boy only wear one snow boot?

He heard there was a 50 percent chance of snow.

You and the family will have a blast exploring these creative corn mazes near NYC this fall

One of our favorite things to do in the fall is to tackle a good corn maze—where getting lost is part of the fun! Local farms near NYC break out new designs every year, and fall 2022 does not disappoint! We found the best corn mazes near NYC with cool options like moonlight mazes, corn maze games, and a corn maze train!

Alstede Farms

A family-owned 600-acre farm, Alstede Farms has not one, not two, but three mazes for fall fun: a corn maze, a sunflower maze and an evergreen maze. The corn maze includes fun facts about the maze's theme (which changes annually), and for thrillseekers, you can tackle it at night by the light of a flashlight with a Harvest Moon Hayride. 

Cost: all are included with pick-your-own admission (advance purchase required)
1 Alstede Farms Ln.
Chester, NJ
Online: alstedefarms.com

Queens County Farm Museum

The Amazing Maize Maze is the only corn maze that you can get to without leaving the city. All maze explorations begin with a "Stalk Talk" so visitors know what to expect. Then, you follow clues and complete puzzles to get through the three-acre maze. At the end of the maze, you'll find yourself at the overlook bridge, where you can see the full design from above. 

Cost: $12/adult, $8/child ages 4–11
73-50 Little Neck Pkwy.
Floral Park, NY
Online: queensfarm.org

Ort Farms

The Ort Farms maze is an impressive six acres and take about half an hour to complete. Visit on weekends for a full farm experience, featuring all sorts of rides: train, pony, hay, and even monster truck rides!   

Cost: $9.95 per person
25 Bartley Rd.
Long Valley, NJ
Online: ortfarms.com

 

Related: Praise the Gourd: Where to Go Pumpkin Picking Near NYC

Von Thun Farms

Von Thun Farms' corn maze has a lot going on—in a good way. (Note the farm has two locations.) The maze is split into two sections: one is perfect for kids, while the rest of the maze (the bulk of it) is for all ages. All in all, it takes about 30-45 minutes to complete the maze.

At the South Brunswick location, you can try finding your way around in the dark, in the Moonlight Maze. Besides the maze, you can also enjoy hay rides or make s'mores by the campfire. Prices for the Moonlight Maze start at $10 (for just the maze) and up.

Cost: Starting at $17.99 for general admission.
519 Ridge Road
South Brunswick, NJ

438 Route 57 West
Washington, NJ
Online: vonthunfarms.com

Stony Hill Farms

Stony Hill Farms' "Maze Quest Corn Maze" is a whopping 10 acres! The maze includes games throughout the maze, some bridges for a birds-eye view of the maze, winding paths and dead ends, as well as a "Maze Master" who'll come to your aid if you're really stumped (just seek them out or call them on the phone and they'll come to you!). The farm also has a miniature, one-acre corn maze for the little ones if 10 acres is a bit too much to handle. 

Cost: Starting at $16.99, kids under 2 are free
15 North Rd.
Chester, NJ
Online: stonyhillfarms.com

Happy Day Farm

This year's 10-acre maze celebrates 10 years of Happiness! You'll find it to be an image of sunflowers, pumpkins, and a tractor to celebrate the season. As you make your way through the maze, you can play a game of Maize-O-Poly by matching squares on your game board to specific spots around the corn maze. Earn as much (play) money as you can to receive the title "Farmer of the Ear." If you get stuck, you can text the "intelligent question master" for a hint—but before he helps you out, you'll need to answer a question correctly!

This farm also features fall festival fun on weekends with tons of activities for kids—pig races, giant slide, hay mountain, pumpkin bowling, U-Pick sunflowers, and much more. 

Cost: $21
106 Iron Ore Rd.
Manalapan, NJ
Online: happydayfarmnj.com

Related: Top Seed: The Best Spots for NYC Apple Picking

F & W Schmitt's Family Farm

The farm holds a fall fest from September 17 to October 30 this year. For an additional fee, you can access many other attractions, including pony rides and a petting zoo, sunflower, vegetable and pumpkin picking (but no apple picking), as well as a haunted house and haunted corn trail (which you can do during the day with little ones). 

Tickets must be bought at the door only, there are no online reservations.

Cost: $10 (separate from admission).
26 Pinelawn Rd.
Melville, NY
Online: schmittfarms.com

Fairview Farm

If you've had enough of wandering around, take a break at one of the maze's two bridges, which provide views of the surrounding farmland, Mecox Bay, and the Atlantic Ocean. Looking for some fun novelty? Little kids will enjoy making a mess in giant tractor tires filled with corn. You can also test your aim with the "corn cannon."

Of course, traditional fall goodies are also available here, like pumpkin picking, fresh produce for sale and, best of all, 20 different kinds of homemade pies!

Cost: $14/adult, $12/children, free for kids 3 and under.
69 Horsemill Ln.
Bridgehampton, NY
Online: fairviewfarmatmecox.com

Delaware River Railroad Excursions Corn Maze Train

How's this for blowing your train-crazy kid's mind?: a corn maze you get to via steam train. Yes, it's true. You'll have to drive and hour-and-a-half to get to where you board, but that's small sacrifice for pure joy. While getting there is half the fun, once you arrive you're treated to an experience that's more interactive than the average maze. 

There are two main games you can play. In one, you're tasked with finding six podiums within the maze, then making your "corn card" with the distinct hole punch found at each of the podiums. Participants who find all six get a small prize! The other similarly has you finding six hidden locations in the maze and punching a special card, but this time you're looking to uncover which monster has kidnapped Boots, the farm dog! 

For an additional fee, in addition to the mazes, you can tour the Ol Susquehanna Gem Stone Mine and learn how to mine for gems, which you can take home.

Cost: $5 add on to any train ticket
99 Elizabeth St.
Phillipsburg, NJ
Online: nyswths.org

Related: The BIGGEST (& Best) of Fall Crafts, Ever

corn mazes near nyc
iStock

Wright Family Farm

This five-acre corn maze is the perfect length to get lost in—but not too lost. If you really need some help, though, you'll have some "Corny Passports" to consult for a hint. Two bridges provide a step up to see your surroundings, and take a breather.

Beyond the maze, you'll find pumpkin picking, a cow train ride, tube slide, pumpkin bowling and more, along with tons of photo-ops! Plus, get a little destructive with the fun apple cannons or enjoy a pony ride for an additional fee.

Cost: $18 
329 Kings Highway
Warwick, NY
Online: wrightfamilyfarm.com

Hank's PumpkinTown

The PumpkinTown corn maze theme this year is Stronger Together. There are interactive elements to the maze, to keep things fresh! In one challenge, you'll learn about bees and search for six flowers hidden in the maze, with a fun trivia twist that'll either move you ahead for correct answers, or send you back for wrong ones. In another, you'll learn about Spookley the square pumpkin through a series of story boards. Plus, there are a bunch of spooky characters to find in the maze, so be on the lookout (and have your phone at the ready)!

Once you're done with those, there's an entire maze park to explore, with lots of fun attractions including three interactive corn mazes, unlimited corn train and wagon rides, a combine slide, pedal cart track, mechanical diggers, a tube slide, and much more.

Please note that the corn maze is only available on weekends.

Cost: $20 on weekends and school holidays, $12 on weekdays
240 Montauk Hwy.
Water Mill, NY
Online: hankspumpkintown.com

Don’t let the back-to-school process overwhelm you! This handy guide includes everything you’ll need in the school supplies department, ideas to combat first-day jitters, funny jokes to get you through and cute clothes that kids will love. Plus, we’ve included some lunch tips and hacks for when you just cannot make another PB&J. Parents, we’ve got you covered!

GEAR

School Supplies

Etsy

Massive school supply lists can send any parent off the deep end. Don't worry, we've got you covered! 

Order up some personalized products from your favorite Etsy sellers. There are also loads of unique school supplies like avocado pens and macaron erasers that will make your kid's transition to school that much more fun. 

Add these rainbow school supplies from Amazon to your cart. The more color the better! You can find even more of our favorite Amazon school supplies here

Backpacks

This list has loads of great backpack options including super stylish backpacks, adaptive backpacks for kids in wheelchairs and wheelie backpacks for those who have to bring every book home every day. 

Lunch Boxes & Snack Bags

Start the year off strong with the perfect lunch box. This story has loads of options that will keep your food chilled, in separate compartments or piping hot—just the way your kid likes it. 

While you are at it, grab some reusable snack bags so that you can go all green this year. 

Bento Boxes

Kinsho Bento Box

Put a bento box into your kid's lunch and they'll love the little compartments that can fit everything from rolled-up sandwiches to tiny crackers. There are even some that will keep your lunch chilled all day. 

Water Bottles

Takeya

Leaky water bottles are the bain of parental existence, right? These are our favorite water bottles for kids from sippy cup versions to insulated stainless steel water bottles. that parents will love too. 

Gear & Clothing Labels

school labels

One piece of advice for school: label everything. These are our favorite labels for clothing and gear

CLOTHING

Clothing Subscriptions

Kidpik

Do yourself a favor and get your kids a clothing subscription service this school year. They will get some awesome new styles sent right to them and you don't have to take them shopping with you. Win-win! 

Adaptive & Sensory-Friendly Clothes

Kohl's

When it comes to back-to-school clothes shopping, your kid’s all about perfecting “the look.” And with on-trend adaptive clothing lines galore to choose from, even issues like Sensory Processing Disorder or other special needs won’t hold your fashion-forward kiddo back. This BTS season it’s ready, set, shop … for everyone. 

Shoes

Native Shoes

Let your little one slip into something easy and stylish this back-to-school season. These lace-free options give even the smallest pre-schooler the independence to get ready on their own. Which means less work for you!

Face Masks

Mightly

If your school is requiring face masks for in-person learners, now is the time to refresh your collection. This massive list has all the character, colorful and black (tweens, right?) face masks for kids that you could want. 

MAKE THE BACK-TO-SCHOOL TRANSITION EASIER

Ease the Back-to-School Jitters

iStock

Snag one of these books that talk about school to get little ones ready for the big day. There's even one that specifically dives into how this year will be extra different. 

The first day doesn't have to be something you are stressed about. There are loads of ways to make the first day easy for parents and kids alike. 

Get your crew in the right frame of mind with some back-to-school jokes that tickle their funny bone. 

This list has tons of other ideas like adjusting schedules early and doing a trial run that can help with kids' anxiety about school. While you're at it, establish a good bedtime routine so the kids know what to expect. 

Start a school day tradition like listening to a favorite song on the ride to school or having a special thing you say to your kids when you drop them off. 

After a big day of big transitions, dinner can be the last night on your mind. Make dinner easy with these meal kit delivery companies

Lunch Ideas Beyond PB&J

Kristine's Kitchen

Save this one for mid-October when all the lunch inspiration is gone. We've got tons of ideas for lunches from corndog muffins to grilled cheese rollups to freezer sandwiches. 

Snag a bento box and check out this list of inspirational ideas for bento box lunches. All the friends will be jealous of your little one's spread! 

Check out our massive list of new snacks to mix things up in the snack department. 

Can't bring peanut butter to school due to allergies? This list has you covered. You should also follow these food allergy bloggers as they have great ideas! 

Homework Help

iStock

Struggling with getting into the homework flow? This story has a slew of tips to make it easier on kids and parents alike! 

—Kate Loweth

RELATED STORIES

We Tried the Best Meal Delivery Services & Here’s What We Discovered

22 Bento Boxes That Make Lunch Time Fun

30+ Unique Lunch Ideas to Try This Fall

20 Awesome Backpacks to Organize Your School Gear

Chalk paint is a type of paint that you can create at home and use on various surfaces. It’s simple to make, easy to work with, and a fun activity for both kids and adults. It’s also inexpensive—in fact, you probably have all the ingredients you need to make it at home. Keep reading to learn how to make your own chalk paint and different ways to use it with the family.

What you’ll need:

  • Cornstarch

  • Water

  • Food coloring

  • Muffin pans or small bowls

  • Paintbrushes

  • Stencils (optional)

Follow these instructions for easy DIY chalk paint

Step 1: Combine cornstarch and water in equal parts.

Step 2: Next, pour the cornstarch mixture into a muffin tin or small bowls.

Step 3: Finally, add food coloring of your choice until it gets to your desired color. Now you’re ready to paint!

How to Use DIY Chalk Paint

One of the best aspects of chalk paint is that it’s a great way to get creative. Even better, it easily washes away, making cleanup a breeze. Chalk paint is similar to chalk, but you use paintbrushes instead of chalk pieces to create your artwork. DIY chalk paint is a great activity for people of all ages and you can do it both indoors or outdoors! Chalk paint, like traditional chalk, works great on the sidewalk or driveway. It can also be used to decorate chalkboards to display in your home.

Ways Kids Can Use Chalk Paint

Chalk paint is a great way to keep the kids busy for hours. With many extracurricular activities being canceled this year, it’s been more important than ever to find some at-home crafts for the kids.

  • Practice letters and numbers: For the younger kids, you can use chalk paint as a way to help teach them their letters and numbers when they are out of school. It makes learning fun!
  • Practice spelling and math: For the slightly older kids, you can also use chalk paint in the summer months, but up the difficulty level with spelling tests and multiplication tables. It makes practicing their schoolwork more fun when they can do it outside!
  • Paint their pets: Challenge your kids to paint their dog or cat. Mix a bunch of colors and go crazy.
  • Create games: Classic games that you would use with chalk are perfect for chalk paint! Hopscotch and foursquare are the most popular chalk games.
  • Make fun stencils: There are many places that you can find printable stencils online, or you can create your own! Kids will love making different stenciled designs and painting them with the chalk paint they helped create.

Ways Adults Can Use Chalk Paint

No, chalk paint isn’t just for kids. There are many ways that adults can use it too. Here are some ideas for chalkboards.

  • Create a weekly dinner menu: For those who are always dealing with the “what’s for dinner?” question, use your chalk paint to make a pretty menu so that your kids or spouse can check throughout the week.
  • Use it for a daily quote, joke, affirmation: Using chalk paint as a way to display inspirational quotes, funny jokes, or daily affirmations can help start your day right.
  • Paint your favorite bible verse: Painting the bible verse that means the most to you will be a comforting display to look at throughout the day.
  • Christmas countdown: Make a Christmas, birthday, or special event countdown. We all need a little extra cheer this holiday season, so counting down to Christmas can help keep up the excitement this time of year brings.

Tips for Your DIY Chalk Paint

  • Chalk paint doesn’t dry instantly—Unlike regular chalk, the paint takes some time to dry. Be careful not to touch your art for a few hours—otherwise, you may smudge it.
  • Add more water or cornstarch depending on thickness—It’s hard to mess up chalk paint, so if you think it’s a little runny or too stiff, just add a little more cornstarch or water and you’ll be good to go.
  • Chalk paint color will dry darker—As your painting, you may be tempted to go darker or paint more layers. Remember, the paint will dry darker than when you first paint, so you’ll get a good idea of what it looks like after it dries.

DIY chalk paint is a fun activity for kids and adults. It’s easy to make and you probably have most of the ingredients you need already in your pantry! Make some fun games for the kids and they’ll stay busy for hours.

 

Julia is a dog mom and content creator. When she's not writing or playing with her pup, you can find her playing tennis or chowing down on a vegan burger.

Laughter is the best medicine––and with that in mind we’ve put together a list of San Diego jokes for kids that will have everyone slapping their knee. Scroll down for silly jokes, funny jokes, and jokes kids are sure to LOL hearing, telling and re-telling!

1. What did the Pacific Ocean say to the sand?

Nothing, it just waved.

2. What did the seashell at Del Mar Beach say to the fish?

Call me on my shell phone.

3. What is the best day to go to Coronado Beach?

Sun-day.

4. What do you call a witch who lives at Mission Beach?

A sand-wich.

5. What do you call a dog running at Dog Beach in summer?

A hot dog.

6. Where do San Diego sharks go on summer vacation?

To Finland.

7. What did La Jolla Beach say when the tide came in?

Long time no sea.

8. Why are fish so smart?

Because they live in schools.

San Diego Zoo

9. What do you call a dishonest cat at the San Diego Zoo Safari Park?

Lion.

10. What did a U.S.S. Midway sailor find in his alphabet soup?

The seven Cs.

11. Which Padres baseball player makes the best flapjacks?

The batter.

12. What is a sea lion at La Jolla Children's Pool's favorite classroom subject?

ART! ART! ART!

13. What would you get if you threw all of San Diego Public Library's books in the ocean?

A title wave.

14. What kind of SoCal tree has hands?

A palm tree.

xoxo.richellecote

15. Where do waffles go on vacation?

Sandy Eggo!

16. Where in California does everyone have minty fresh breath?

Sacra-mentos.

17. Why did the boy stop going tidepooling at Cabrillo National Monument?

Because he pulled a mussel.

Birch Aquarium

18. What does a fish at Birch Aquarium say after sharing a new idea?

Let minnow what you think.

19. Why do seagulls fly over the sea?

Because if they flew over Mission Bay, they'd be called bagels.

20. Why do sharks live in saltwater?

Because pepper water makes them sneeze.

Got a joke you’d like to add? Send it to beth@tinybeans.go-vip.net and we’ll put it in the story! 

featured image: Beth Shea

––Beth Shea

RELATED STORIES:

Here Comes the Pun: 215 Hilarious Jokes for Kids

Riddle Me This: 19 Amazing Riddles for Kids 

23 Super Silly Birthday Jokes for Kids 

63 Fascinating Facts Every Kid Should Know

Photo: Kristin Van de Water

“Are there any new presents under the tree?” chirped my daughter the moment she bounded through the door after school. “Are these all the presents we’re going to get?” she asked, re-inspecting the loot and grumbling, “Why does Zachary get the biggest gifts?”

Fifteen minutes after school pickup—and I already needed a mommy timeout. I can’t stand seeing materialism brainwash my daughter, leaving an ungrateful heart in its wake.

During gifting seasons, my daughter shows an utter lack of gratitude for the bounty before her. Even when she unwraps something on her wish list, she blurts out, “I don’t like Legos…I wish I had the purple one…Did I get any money? Can I pick out anything on the computer?”

Thankfully, my daughter’s fascination with gifts isn’t limited to receiving them. Her favorite activity is wrapping up toys and odds and ends from around the apartment and presenting them to friends and siblings. Last week, my daughter gave one such gift to her classmate and then saw how sad that friend’s little sister was upon not receiving a gift of her own. My daughter was so distraught with the situation she spent several hours that weekend wrapping up trinkets in various boxes and taping them together into the shape of a bird to present it to the little sister.

You can imagine the delight shared by both parties when Monday’s playdate rolled around. These sweet gifting rituals amongst playmates have nothing to do with monetary value. It’s about the surprise, thought, anticipation, unwrapping, and reciprocation.

After witnessing this joyful exchange, I reassessed my resentful perspective on the central role of gifting during a season that’s about so much more. I threw out my previous assumption that my daughter was a victim to materialism and considered the possibility that gifting was simply her way of feeling emotionally connected to others. In other words, gifts are her love language.

Gary Chapman, author of The 5 Love Languages of Children: The Secret to Loving Children Effectively, explains that people feel loved in five primary ways, called love languages:

  1. Acts of Service
  2. Quality Time
  3. Physical Touch
  4. Words of Affirmation
  5. Gifts

While all kids love gifts, some enjoy snuggles or a special family outing just as much as physical presents. That’s the case for three of my four kids. But for my 7-year-old daughter, gifts are her primary love language.

Because receiving gifts ranks lowest on my list of how I feel loved, I’ve traditionally struggled to understand my daughter’s fascination with presents.

I feel loved through acts of service and physical touch. As a result, in my attempt to show motherly love, I default to taking care of my kids’ physical needs and showering them with hugs and kisses. But to a daughter who never snuggles deeper into a hug (if I tried to cuddle her as a baby, she would stretch out her legs to try to stand up), my actions are undoubtedly lost in translation.

“Notice how your child relates to you,” Chapman suggests. “Typically, kids show love in the way they’d like to receive it.”

My daughter is a prolific writer and crafter, creating books, cards, pictures, songs and paper treasures to gift to family and friends. She wrote two stories this afternoon and “published” them just in time to read aloud as bedtime stories—giggling all the way at her own jokes!

What joy! What a gift! It amazes me that I’m only now realizing that I should reciprocate. So, I brainstormed ideas on how to gift my daughter words of affirmation.

  • Tuck a note in her lunchbox: “You tell funny jokes! Here’s one of mine…”
  • Set up toys into a playful scene, labeled, “Good morning! We can’t wait to play with you!” so she sees it when she wakes up.
  • Say, “I love the way you draw! Could you teach me to draw a cute puppy?”
  • Stick a post-it on one of her in-progress stories. “I’m your biggest fan! Your stories are creative and fun to read.”
  • Write a thank-you note. “Thank you for breaking up your little sister’s tantrum with tickles and a story. You’re a great big sister!”

As fun as these ideas sound, this is another tricky area for me because words of affirmation rank second-lowest on my love language list. At first, I assumed that compliments would unhealthily puff up my daughter’s ego rather than teaching humility. I don’t want her to grow up feeling entitled or grow numb to praise. I also don’t want her to base her value on another’s verbal approval.

But then I looked at it through the lens of my own love language: acts of service. Just because I feel emotionally connected to my husband when I wake up to a basket of clean laundry doesn’t mean I’m overly dependent on others taking care of me.

Therefore, I shouldn’t lament my daughter’s fascination with gifts as a problem or dependency to be fixed, but rather as one unique facet of her personality.

Luckily for me, this means the joy of Christmastime giving doesn’t have to stop come January. I have a daughter who delights in thoughtful surprises throughout the year. I cherish those sweet good-morning notes slid under my door and look forward to loving her in ways that speak into her heart.

This doesn’t mean hugs and dinner prep should come to a full stop just because they are my love language, not hers. According to Chapman, “The goal is to give your child heavy doses of his or her primary love language while continuing to include the other four. This teaches the child how to receive and give love in all five languages.”

When my kids grow into adults who love on spouses and children of their own, I pray that they both know and show genuine, self-giving love—even if it sometimes feels like they must speak in a foreign language to make that happen.

Kristin Van de Water
Tinybeans Voices Contributor

Kristin Van de Water is a former journalist and teacher who relies on humor, faith, and her mom crew to get her through the day. Raising four kids in a two-bedroom NYC apartment, Kristin is always on the lookout for life hacks to save time, space, money, and her sanity.