The other night was “wine night” for a few moms in my neighborhood. We do this every couple of months when we get together for our “PTO meeting” where we stay out too late, pour one too many, and hit the alarm clock more than we should the next morning. The most recent one was last week. I desperately needed a glass of wine and some girl talk, but having a five-week old baby meant that I also desperately need sleep.

Wine or sleep? Wine or sleep? (The struggle is real!)

Then the voice of a good friend came through with some words of wisdom, a piece of mom advice that I always refer back to when I’m stuck in a situation where I really want to do something, but question whether I can fit it all in.

Let me tell you this is one of the best pieces of parenting advice that I ever received. It’s simple. It’s easy. It’s a no-brainer. But for some reason, it’s something that I always had a hard time implementing until recently. Ready for it?!

Say no to things that you may really want to do if it will make your life easier.

Sounds easy, right? Who doesn’t want to make their life easier? I mean we’re told in the workforce to say no all the time. It’ll help advance your career path. It’ll lighten your load. Heck, we say no to our kids all the time! Recently I have even seen books on why it is healthy to say no. But for my type A personality I always feel like I can figure out a way to make it all happen all the while stressing myself in the process—its just my personality. For better or worse I am a people pleaser which makes exercising this “rule” pretty hard at times. It’s hard to turn down things that you or someone in your family really want to do (like go drink some wine down the street).

Truth be told, putting it into action has literally saved me time and sanity. Let me give you some examples…

That birthday party for your kid’s classmate that starts at 7:30 pm when your kid goes to bed at 8 pm. Say no. When you’re invited to somebody’s house for a weekend get-together and you already have two other things to do right before then, say no. When school asks for you to help with volunteering for the next event but you’re not sure you can pick up your other kids and make it there in time, say no. When you get invited to Adele’s concert but you’re not feeling well and coming off a work trip, say no. When you want to catch some zzz’s even though you want some gal time, go for the sleep!

I found that there is always another time for these events, invitations, volunteering, etc. There will always be more birthday parties, get togethers, school fundraisers, and even concerts to attend. Your sanity, health, and time are more important! So do as we teach our kids when it comes to drugs—JUST SAY NO! You’ll thank me for it.

Erin is a working mom of two exploring ways to embrace change and find new hobbies in her search for life outside of Corporate America. She lives in Bucks County Pennsylvania with her husband, two kids, and Boston Terrier. She also loves ice cream and chocolate. A lot.

Like so many other events this year, this holiday season will be filled with tough choices and changes for families.

The good news is that the holidays are also a time when gratitude is at the forefront and it has been proven that focusing on positive emotions and spending quality family time together can help kids and adults be resilient through tough times. Simply put, if we focus on the good things we have in our life, we will discover so much to be grateful for this year.

As adults, we can recognize that there is always something to be grateful for, but children often forget all the things they already have that make them happy. Luckily, Thanksgiving offers a perfect opportunity to reflect as a family, and this period of staying at home provides plenty of time to help develop your child’s attitude of gratitude.

I asked Sandra Graham, our Director of Training at Kiddie Academy, for her best gratitude tips. Here are some ways she suggested to get your children started on practicing gratitude:

1. Start a gratitude notebook. Have your child write a note or draw a picture of something they’re thankful for each day. Ask your child to be specific and the more they pay attention to details, the more they’ll start to notice the positive things in their life.

2. Make a gratitude chain. This fun activity gets the whole family involved. Set up an area with precut construction paper strips, markers, and tape in your home. Ask family members to pause every time they walk by to jot down something they’re grateful for and then fasten it as a link on the chain.

3. Write or draw Thanksgiving cards. If your child is sad about not getting to see a family member or friend this holiday season, channeling it into writing or art can be soothing for them and a sweet surprise for the recipient.

4. Practice mindfulness. Live in the moment and be present in your surroundings. Stop, breathe and be grateful for everything in your world.

5. Make “thanks” calls. Sit down with your child and make a list of people who’ve done something nice for them lately. Then set aside time on Thanksgiving for your child to call and say thank you.

6. Send virtual care packages. Social distancing and self-quarantining means you can’t get together to hug but your child can send the next best thing: a bunch of photos and a funny video that will make someone smile.

7. Decorate the front yard with thank-you signs. From essential workers and healthcare heroes to teachers and neighbors, a lot of people deserve a special thank you. Get your child involved in drawing or painting signs to decorate your yard this Thanksgiving season.

8. Take gratitude walks. While you walk, look for the simple pleasures in the day, such as the clouds in the sky or the birds singing and express appreciation for them. Use this time to ask your kids what they are grateful for.

9. Try a twist on kindness rocks. Have your child paint rocks with images and messages that inspire gratitude. On Thanksgiving Day, take a walk to work off that turkey and set the rocks in special places to surprise others on their walk.

10. Find a way to give back. Talk to your child about the causes that matter to them, and the people or things in the community that they’d like to help. Reach out to organizations to see how you can give back, whether that’s donating or volunteering in a way that’s safe during COVID-19.

Yes, this pandemic holiday season may have its challenges but with some resilience and a grateful attitude, your family can still put the “thanks” in Thanksgiving. You maybe even create a new gratitude habit that will help your child grow up seeing the sunny side of life.

This post originally appeared on Kiddie Academy Family Essentials. Featured image: Kiddie Academy

Richard Peterson has over 20 years of experience in early childhood education where he has been involved with the direct and indirect instruction of students. As the Chief Academic Officer, Peterson provides daily support to the Kiddie Academy education department in the areas of curriculum, assessment, training and more.

If balancing kids, career and home has you wearing too many hats (or a superhero cape!), we feel you. When it comes to doing it all, there’s one thing Seattle parents need (no, not donuts)—more time. Enter Yohana, the new wellness company that’s helping Seattle parents lighten the load by doing some of the heavy lifting. Read on to find out more.

A Mom-Owned Wellness Company

Yohana

Yohana is the brainchild of Yoky Matsuoka, mom to four, former endowed UW professor and MacArthur Genius Grant winner (she won it while raising three kids under four!). Matsuoka left Seattle for the Silicon Valley where she worked at Google, Nest and Apple before taking on her current role as the Managing Executive Officer at Panasonic. In each step of her career, she’s had to juggle a young family, managing a household and a demanding career. And at each step along the way, Matsuoka’s had her eye on the way technology can help people be the best versions of themselves and live happier, healthier lives. Yohana is the reality of that vision. It’s her hope that for parents (moms especially) Yohana allows them to be present for the moments that matter most.

Yohana Membership

personal assistant for seattle parents tech
Yohana

The Yohana Membership launched in Seattle on September 9 and has been connecting parent users to Yo Assistants ever since. The Yohana Membership has three elements: the Yo Assistant, the Yohana App and the AI behind it all. It’s this trifecta that sets Yohana’s personal assistant services apart. While it’s run through an app, there’s a real person on the other end that helps parents get through that ever-growing to-do list.

Here’s How it Works

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Yo Assistants Tackle Your To-Do List
That always-expanding to-do list you’ve got on your phone or sitting on your counter (or maybe in your head)? Yohana lets parents finally take it on once you’re connected to your Yo Assistant. They can help you get your gutters cleaned, order snacks for soccer practice, find that just-right gift for your long-lost aunt, plan your kiddo’s upcoming birthday party, even coordinate a post-pandemic get together at Discovery Park. They can even help you find a babysitter or a nanny. And while we’re pretty sure they’re not sorcerers, one by one, you and your Yo Assistant will magically get things done. So rather than putting off researching Seattle gymnastics classes because you'd rather play games with the kids on a Friday night, you can do both. 

iStock

Yo Assistants & the Tech at Their Fingertips
So who are these assistants ready to become your new right-hand people? Many are former personal assistants, executive admins, event planners and project managers. They’re also super tech savvy, and they go through an interview and training process before becoming part of the Yohana team. For each task they get from you, they’ve got tech-enabled resources that help them get things just the way you want them.

Let’s say you want your Yo Assistant to plan your kiddo’s birthday party. Using the AI-assisted tech, assistants can figure out not only what your family likes (and dislikes) but also what’s popular for parties, what kids of certain ages like, what’s trending in Seattle and more. As Matsuoka explains, this AI aspect is what really makes them unique; they’ve done this (literally) thousands of times. And working with your assistant is like chatting with a friend, so parents can still feel connected to the everyday without having to manage everything.

personal assistant app for seattle parents
Yohana

Managing Your Workload
While some Yo Assistant tasks are simple, like coordinating snack for preschool next week, others can be more complicated, like planning a weekend getaway with the kids. In this case, Yo Assistants make proposals for parents. They’ll give you easy-to-understand options to choose from, with personal comments about why they're recommending something. From there, make your selection and voila, your once overwhelming task is done.

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The Yohana App
Most of your interaction with your Yo Assistant is through the Yohana App. And it makes things easy because you can assign out tasks from pretty much anywhere. So when you remember that you need to schedule doctors' appointments for the kids in the middle of the grocery store or during an online meeting, you can pull up the app and get it done. But don’t worry, if you’ve got more complex things on your list, it’s possible to connect over the phone.

Cost: $149/month, unlimited to-dos (Seattle-area members get the first two months of service for the price of one).

Online: yohana.com

—Allison Sutcliffe

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It started simply enough: my friend and I decided to start walking to get in shape. This goal was a vague one; we weren’t fitness gurus or anything, just two moms who wanted to move and get some fresh air in the process.

We mentioned our plan to a third mom friend, and our walking club was born. We later recruited a fourth neighbor, who also became a good friend, for our morning stroll.

We kept this up for an entire school year (since we could only do this while all seven of our kids were at school) and discovered, as a group, some amazing benefits to walking, five (yes, five!) miles every single day, in addition to fitness:

1. Walking Made Talking Even Easier for Us
When we get together, we usually don’t have much trouble with the gabfest. But somehow, walking through our tree-lined neighborhood increased our talkativeness. We covered every kind of topic you can imagine, and then some. Some days we were holding our sides while one of us shared an anecdote from childhood; another day, it was consoling a friend who might be going through a medical issue; other times, it would be fluffy celebrity gossip, a cool YouTube video we just had to check out, or even some taboo subject, that really didn’t seem like a big deal to discuss while out walking.

2. I Got to Know My Friends So Much Better Than before
Speaking of taboo subjects, I had no idea how far we would all get into certain topics. On the surface, or on playdates, it was always easier and more natural to see each other as moms, and not much else. Once we had each others’ undivided attention, we were able to have some pretty crazy, no-holds-barred convos, which really gave us a window into each others’ minds and lives.

3. We Felt Inspired to Be Better Versions of Ourselves after Each Session
After working out, we felt energized to continue our day. By extension, we ate cleaner, drank more water, and thought more positively after each walk. It was a great way to propel us through all of the tasks which lay before us once we got home.

4. We Didn’t Notice the Miles Flying past Us
When we started walking, one to two miles per session was a big deal. Pretty soon, that didn’t feel like enough, and we would keep going. Oftentimes, one of us was telling a story or sharing something personal, and we would just keep on walking just to hear the rest of the conversation. One time, we even walked seven miles, before we realized it was time to head home!

5. And…We Increased Our Stamina
Well, of course we did. You didn’t think we were going to walk five miles a day, and not improve our fitness at all, did you? (Kidding.) Not only did our bodies become stronger, but our minds and spirits did as well. (Sorry, I had to!)

This post originally appeared on The Haute Mommy Handbook.

Jen Kathrina-Anne is a blogger, freelance writer, and graphic designer. When she’s not writing or designing, she enjoys spending time outdoors in the California Bay Area where she resides with her husband and two fearless daughters. Find her at www.hautemommyhandbook.com.

 

Sometimes, all you need in this world are good friends and a good bottle of wine. With National Best Friends Day coming up, Zulily just released a three-bottle set perfect for celebrating what you love most about your BFFs: humor, honesty and trust. But you’ll only be able to buy it through June 15!

Vintage Wine Estates created this limited-edition set, featuring a 2019 Rose, a 2020 Sauvignon Blanc and a 2018 Cabernet. It’s $49 for the set of three and ships to most states in the U.S. Buy it for yourself for your next wine night or book club with friends, or buy it for your bestie and surprise them.

As in-person reunions ramp up this year, a new survey from Zulily and Pollfish found that almost half (49%) of moms said they’d only seen their friends two times or less in the past year. And more than half of moms (51%) said they proactively look for other mom friends for support once they’ve had a child of their own. Even if getting together is impossible, 30% of moms said they speak to their friends twice or more a day.

The survey featured 1,000 U.S. based moms, ages 18+. What will IRL meetups look like? 40% said they’d do a girls night out and 25% said they’d host a happy hour at home. Whatever you’re planning for that long-awaited get together, this wine set will definitely hit the spot!

––Sarah Shebek

Image courtesy of Zulily

 

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Do you already have summer plans? Juicy Juice tapped OnePoll to survey 2,000 parents on their summer 2021 plans—and here’s what they found!

You certainly aren’t alone if you consider summer 2020 a wash. According to OnePoll’s survey, 62 percent of parents said last year’s pandemic-centric summer didn’t really count. With last year in the rear view mirror, fifty-eight percent of the survey’s participants reported having high expectations for the summer of 2021.

Plenty of parents have felt the stress of cyber-schooling, working from home and everything else 2020/2021 have brought to them. With that in mind, 64 percent of parents surveyed said this summer is a welcome relief from everything else in their lives.

In terms of summer-time plans, thirty-four percent of parents said they want to find a way to safely visit with family. One-third of participants are all in for a family roadtrip or are perfectly happy camping in their backyard.

Along with these warm weather activities, parents are also planning movie nights, game nights, picnics, playing classic games such as hopscotch and hiking.

The top summer activities families are planning, in order of popularity, include:

Beach day – 42%
Socially distanced barbecue – 38%
Camping trip (not in the backyard) – 35%
Pool day – 35%
Visiting family (safely and according to social distance guidelines) – 34%
Camping in the backyard – 33%
Road trip – 32%
Movie night – 29%
Play water games (water balloons, sprinklers, etc.) – 26%
Game night – 24%
Cooking with kids – 24%
Have a picnic – 20%
Celebrate a birthday – 20%
Eat watermelon – 19%
Setting off fireworks – 18%
Eat popsicles – 18%
Go to a lake (i.e., go fishing, go boating) – 17%
Drink lemonade – 17%
Play in the yard (hopscotch, sidewalk chalk) – 16%
Go on a hike – 15%
Crafting – 14%
Celebrate a graduation – 12%
Attend a family reunion/get together -12%
Celebrate an anniversary – 7%

Ilene Bergenfeld, Chief Marketing Officer for Juicy Juice, said in a press release, “Whether it’s camping in the backyard or taking a vacation, parents are looking forward to spending time with their families and planning safe activities to have a feel-good, fun-filled summer.”

Bergenfeld continued, “It’s also apparent that there are plenty of activities to do in your own backyard or within your neighborhood to create fun memories while staying safe.”

—Erica Loop

Photos: Courtesy of Juicy Juice/ Feature photo: Alexandr Podvalny via Pexels

 

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Editor’s note: At Red Tricycle, we stand for justice, humanity and equal rights. We stand with Black families, co-workers, partners and the community to speak out against racism. We also stand for education and connection. Our writer, Ayren Jackson-Cannady, offers us not only perspective here but real, actionable ways to make positive change.


…and what to do when you just don’t have the words.

Last year, when my husband and I took our kids to a state fair, it was the first time our son was tall enough to ride a “scary” ride. Of course, the ride he chose (hello, Kamikaze!) was also the most popular with an estimated 30-minute wait time. Just when I was ready to throw in the funnel cake and find a new thrill ride, a family of stilt walkers—a mom, dad, and two kids—toddled towards us, stopping nearby for a quick performance. 

They did karate kicks and jumping jacks. They hopped on one foot and then the other. They did a very elaborate chicken dance. The mom stilt walker even hula hooped…while juggling!

My attention quickly shifted from “this line is never going to move” to “how in the world are these people (these kids!) maneuvering with those things tied to their feet?”

So it goes with race and injustice. 

Being Black in America is like being a stilt walker.

In order to get from point A to point B, it’s necessary to maintain a very specific amount of balance. Leaning too much to one side or the other—being too loud, too quiet, too educated, too uneducated, too this, too that—can be detrimental.

And, it doesn’t matter how skilled you are. It doesn’t matter how far you climb the corporate ladder. It doesn’t matter how much joy you bring into the lives of others or how AWESOME you are. When you miss a beat or skip a step (or go jogging…or birding…or shopping…) the bumps in the road of injustice can bring you down—and bring you down hard. 

Question: Have you ever seen a stilt walker get back up on their own after a tumble? Nope. Because, guess what? They can’t. Stilt walkers rely on helpers on the ground to dust them off and lift them back up. White Americans who don’t have to walk on the stilts of inequality have the ability—the privilege—to be the helpers for communities of color. 

Stepping out of the shadow of privilege is making someone else’s struggle your struggle.

It’s kicking those pebbles of racial injustice out of the way to prevent the tragic wrecks. And when Black moms, dads, and kids start to wobble, it’s steadying them by grabbing a stilt until balance is found.

And if the words never come. That’s okay, too. Sometimes—er, all the time—actions speak louder than words. Here are some things that you can DO with your kids that will help to open their eyes to race and injustice:

Read with them.

Even if they’re 10 and think they’re grown and too old to be read to…there are a bajillion books out there that address the topic of bias, diversity and injustice in a way that kids get. Start here: 

Connect with families not like your own.

Sure, you might have to do that virtually now. But when it’s safe for everyone, get together to serve other families in your community that might need help. Remember: It’s all about steadying those who are walking on stilts. 

Play!

 Surround your kids with toys and playthings that help cultivate appreciation and acceptance for people that don’t look like them. These are fun: 

 

Watch films or TV shows that help educate on the topic of race and inequality.

If your kids have been watching a lot of television lately, they’re not alone. The next time they’re begging to turn on the TV, put one of these on for them:

This “stilts” example of how I envision race and injustice working may go completely over your kids’ heads (full transparency: I tried to explain it to my five-year-old and I completely lost her at the hula hooping mom). But I share all of this to say that the key to being able to talk to our kids about the injustices that have happened and continue to happen to Black people in the United States is to try to fully understand them ourselves. Once we know our history (because, news flash, Black history is everyone’s history) and we can comprehend the complexities of injustice, then we can openly and honestly communicate it to our kids. 

—Ayren Jackson-Cannady

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woman-working-out

photo: Kimberly Ennis

Why is it that we will be doing fine, “It’s fine, I’m doing fine. Everything is fine.” and then all of a sudden it just hits you? Everything is NOT fine. Anyone else? I mean we are living in a global pandemic and absolutely everything is different now. Everything. Maybe it is so hard because we (or at least I) thought everything was getting better. The summer started to feel like we were getting back to our old selves. My bad. But here we are eLearning, WFH (working from home), preparing for another lockdown. And it is literally dark. And cold. And scary. WTH.

But for the most part, we can push forward, carry-on, and survive. We are getting used to it. It’s unfortunate, but we are. Used to staying home. Used to eLearning and work from home and minimal child care. We are used to not wearing proper pants or shoes. We are used to not seeing our friends and family. We are used to staring out the same damn freaking windows! They call it complacency. We are becoming complacent with this pandemic. Getting used to it. After all, it has been over 8 months now. 8!

It is also called fatigue. We are tired of wearing masks, social distancing, and being reminded to always wash our hands. Even though we have gotten used to it, we are tired of staying home and would do anything to go on vacation and visit family. I am tired of being Super Mom and working from home while caring for 3 young children and eLearning. Maybe everyone knows you are Super Mom and don’t think to check-in or maybe everyone is dealing with all of their own hard stuff right now. We can’t just take a break from all of this and go back to our old normal. We now have to welcome a new normal. And it is all so different.

Also, it is the fear of the unknown. When will they go back to school? When will I operate in my office with my colleagues again and have normal productive adult conversations? When can I work out at the Y and not wear a mask while running? Or stop at the store and not be afraid of all of those looks that I inevitably get because my 3 young kids aren’t social distancing?

Complacency, Fatigue, Fear. Well today, my friends, I lost it. Maybe like many of you, I try so hard to keep it all together. As parents, that is our job. We keep it all together and put everyone else’s needs first. Literally, our job. Today though, it was this sense of being overwhelmed. So much to do and not enough time to do it. No gratification or the reminder that we are doing a good job. Everything felt hard today. I couldn’t prioritize or make the right decisions. Maybe it is true that when you hold it all in, eventually it all comes back out at once. So I walked, I cried, but I walked. And I never cry. I just don’t, ever. But I couldn’t fight it. (And my dear colleague watched my kids this afternoon because she could tell.)

But my sense of being overwhelmed isn’t selfish. It isn’t all about me and all that I have to do. As a parent, it is never “Woe is me.” I know that I am blessed to have a job right now and healthy children and an incredibly caring and hard-working husband. I know this. But I am overwhelmed with everything that is going on. All that I am seeing and hearing and everything that we can’t control. We might be trying to put on a front but this pandemic is hitting us hard. We can’t travel and see family this Thanksgiving. And families that are local can’t even get together. This all hurts so much. Some are sick and struggling severely. It is having an impact on so many and we don’t even know it all yet.

So, this Thanksgiving, let’s be there for one another. Remember to lift each other up. Go out of your way for friends and family. Pay 10 compliments or gestures. We need it. Seriously, we need it more than ever. Maybe we still need to check on one another like we used to do back in April when shelter on place began. Maybe we need to ask, “Ok, but are you sure?” This year, let’s be thankful, so incredibly thankful for what you have. Remember what is most important right now and hold that close to you. Prioritize your health and if you can’t tell someone you love. Don’t let yourself become too overwhelmed without talking about it first. Physical and mental health are ever more important this year. Try not to let this pandemic get the best of us. I am sorry but we aren’t out of the woods just yet.

Happy Thanksgiving to all of you. Unplug, log off Zoom, put up your out of office reply, and enjoy those you love. Enjoy them so much.

This post originally appeared on Life, Love & Little Boys blog.

Located in Bloomington, Indiana I am a wife, full-time working Mom to 3 boys, a part-time graduate student & a writer. I am also an optimist, problem solver, peacemaker, gardener, runner and a crazy-busy mom just trying to enjoy each moment. I truly value my friends, family and my mommy tribe.

The holidays are fast approaching. And for the past few weeks, my mind has been filled with excitement and longing for celebration and togetherness. In an ever-changing world that we are a part of, looking forward to something is a must these days. But as the first of the next few major holidays creep up on our families, a new concept plagues my thoughts.

In our area, holiday gatherings are not “banned” but discouraged, as we still reside within a worldwide pandemic. And there’s a very real chance that we won’t be able to come together, as we usually do, I can’t help but wonder if Beckett even notice? Will he even care? Does he recognize Thanksgiving? Does he yearn for Christmas cheer? Will he learn the tradition behind celebrating a New Year? Will he wonder why such a disruption has occurred this year? Or will it all pass him by for yet another year, like a busy day simply following the next?

I’m a people person. I love to be around others. To joke, to laugh, to engage. To see emotion exude from the faces of those you love. And my boy, my sweet, nonverbal, autistic little love, he much prefers his own company at this point. The company of the few. Too many faces equal too many feelings. We know this. We are quite familiar, as he is anything but “silent” on the subject. But he does enjoy to explore, and run, and do his own thing, no matter if we are home or in a relative’s space.

So we go, we do, we push for inclusivity. And we cross our fingers for our positive, happy boy to acclimate. Oh, 2020. The many curve balls you have thrown. With the probability low that we will be able to get together for these holidays, I’m saddened. But not just for my own selfish holiday-loving reasons. But because it has dawned on me that my littlest love, my loving little boy, may very well be happy yet to simply stay. He cares not if our Thanksgiving table is home to three chairs or twenty. He pays no mind to Christmas trees or presents. He will remain here at home, in his element for these celebrations with us, and whether or not he knows they have arrived, he will be delighted. Because he is home. His safe place. The place of little want, or questions, or confusion. And a big part of me is forever grateful for it. Because he knows our love for him.

But I hope with all my might that we can someday reach a day where he requests to go out. That he prefers to go and be in the company of all the people that love him. To get to the day that he knows the excitement of holidays, and traditions, even if they look different to all others. Traditions are made to be your own, after all. With all the change occurring, I suppose it better that Beckett doesn’t know the importance of these days to his Mama. It’s better this way, to keep his springy spirit. But I pray that one day in his future, we can all celebrate, and he will look forward to the occasion and the love that follows.

This post originally appeared on To Infinity & Beyond Words.

BriAnna is a stay-at-home mom to her Disney loving, son Beckett (5), and wife to her Navy  Veteran husband, Cameron. Beckett is Autistic and non-verbal, so BriAnna created her page, "To Infinity & Beyond Words" to shine a light of love on their world of special needs. Their family of three call Nebraska home, and call themselves blessed.