I woke up this Sunday morning experiencing the all-too-common feeling of mom guilt. If you’re a mom, you know exactly what I’m talking about. It is a feeling many moms experience regularly, but it consumed me this particular morning. Despite the fact that my coffee was already brewing, and I had a lot to do, I remained in bed pulling the covers over my head, stuck in my own head, feeling tremendous amounts of mom guilt. I couldn’t help but think of a Sunday morning one fall when my kids were younger.

Like every Sunday morning, we were hurriedly making sure everyone was fed and dressed in their “Sunday best.” Despite our best efforts, we arrived a little late but walked into church with smiles on our faces. Before going into the service, my three kids and I climbed up the mauve-colored steps to drop them off in their Sunday school classrooms. I wasn’t sure what the sermon was going to be that day. To be honest, I’m not sure I cared; I was just looking forward to being in a room with adults for an hour. My hopes of being in an adult-only room quickly faded when my oldest daughter refused to go into her classroom. The teachers repeatedly tried to entice her into the colorful room full of interactive toys while catchy music played in the background. It didn’t matter what creative technique or bribe they used to get her to enter the room; she didn’t want to go.

I knew that if I forced her into the classroom, she would cry for the entire hour, and I would be called out of the sermon to come to pick her up. Either that or I wouldn’t be able to pay attention to the message because I would be so worried about her. That’s when voices from how I was raised filled my head.

“She’s manipulating you.”

“Don’t let her win.”

“Use tough love.”

“This will be good for her.”

“Be strong!”

At that moment, I felt guilty regardless of my choice. According to advice from the generation that raised me, if I let her come with me, that meant she would be getting her way. However, my heartstrings ached because I knew she was going through separation anxiety, and she wanted me close. At that moment, there was a mom guilt battle going on inside of me.

This wasn’t the only time I’ve been in the middle of a mom guilt battle. Other times haunt me as well. Like when we were late for grade school every day for two straight weeks. I will never forget the look on the secretary’s face each time we’d walk in late to the office. Her disappointing and judgmental look filled me with mom guilt after tough mornings.

Or what about the numerous times I’ve lost my cool, or let my kids have too much screen time because I needed a break, or walked away from my crying child because I was about to break down too? What about serving them yet another frozen pizza for dinner after they’ve already consumed way too many goldfish crackers? What about that one time when I decided to homeschool my kids, only to return to public school three years later. Or how about one of my biggest guilts—my heart sinks every time I think about all the times we’ve moved and uprooted the kids.

Ugh. Discouragement filled my heart just thinking about these moments. Then my mind went to what others thought. I knew that my mom and grandmother wouldn’t approve of some of my choices and the secretary’s look kept haunting me. Then I thought of my friends that were seemingly perfect moms. Oof, if I continued with that train of thought, I’d never get out of bed. That’s when I snapped back to reality and pulled the covers off. I got up and poured myself a cup of coffee that I had been smelling for the past several minutes. I was hoping it would snap me out of my “mom guilt” mood.

As coffee touched my lips and I looked out the kitchen window to the yard, I was reminded of the outcome and takeaways of the stories I was thinking about.

I knew leaving my daughter in a classroom, be it school or elsewhere, was an inevitable part of her growing up and that there were healthy ways to deal with separation anxiety. However, on that particular Sunday morning, my mom intuition kicked in, and I decided to keep my daughter with me. I remembered that we grabbed a donut at the church café, and I listened to the sermon in the hallway. Though my choice was frowned upon by some fellow churchgoers, I don’t regret that moment. Why? To this day, my daughter remembers how good those donuts were. My takeaway? My relationship with my daughter was far more important than any class.

As far as the disapproving look from the secretary? After a few stressful mornings of yelling, rushing, and tears, I realized I would rather be late and calm than on time and stressed. So that was my excuse every time we were late after that. The secretary would ask, “What is the reason why you are late today?” I’d reply, “Just another tough morning, and we would rather be late and calm than on time and stressed.” My takeaway? My children’s mental health was far too important to worry about being late to school.

Parents, if you’re feeling the same way this morning, grab your morning coffee and remember that your child was made for you. You know your child better than anyone else on this planet. So be you, trust your gut, and be proud of your parenting choices. Give yourself grace, and do not worry about what others think or say. Focus on the positive and learn from the mistakes. Take it from this coffee-loving, imperfect mother of 15 years and know it’ll all be okay.

RELATED: Ditch the Mom Guilt & Take a Day Off

This post originally appeared on www.jamieedelbrock.com.

Jamie is married to her high school sweetheart and has three beautiful daughters. Through years of experience working with children, and raising her own, she knows how difficult parenting can be. She is an advocate for children's mental health and is best known for her creativity, optimism, and kind heart.

Your kiddo’s fave snack cracker is getting a very grown-up upgrade. Goldfish recently teamed up with Frank’s RedHot for a spectacularly spicy can’t-miss collab!

Forget about nabbing your tot’s leftover Goldfish after they leave a teeny tiny pile left on their snack-time plate. Now there’s a version that’s made just for you.

photo courtesy of Pepperidge Farms

The classic snack and the beloved hot sauce brand are now one! Even though you may know Frank’s RedHot as the condiment you slather over chicken wings or dip everything from celery sticks to bread sticks in, the vinegar-y, cayenne-spiked sauce is now amping up the already unforgettable flavor of the fish-shaped crackers.

Janda Lukin, Chief Marketing Officer, Campbell Snacks, said in a press release, “We learned that adults are big fans of Goldfish and it’s an appetite we’ve never fully satisfied.” Lukin continued, “‘Hot’ is the #1 most requested Goldfish flavor across social, so we wanted to bring the heat with an unexpected partnership between Goldfish and Frank’s that fans will love.”

Jill Pratt, Chief Marketing Excellence Officer, for McCormick, added, “At Frank’s we are always looking for new ways for our fans to enjoy our hot sauce. This limited-edition Goldfish flavor brings a spicy bite to a nostalgic everyday snack. We hope that consumers enjoy this partnership between our two iconic brands for a fun experience that is sure to wake up your taste buds.”

Goldfish Frank’s RedHot crackers are available for a limited time starting this May! Look for the spicy snacks at retailers nationwide for a suggested retail price of $2.49 per 6.6 ounce bag.

—Erica Loop

 

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“Oh, boy!”Just in time for Valentine’s Day, Goldfish and Disney have teamed up once again to bring you Goldfish featuring Disney’s Mickey Mouse and Minnie Mouse Multipack. These new snack packs are the perfect treat for your sweetheart. 

 Mickey Mouse and Minnie Mouse Multipack

With adorable red Mickey ears, pink Minnie ears with a bow, alongside the classic Goldfish crackers, these new multipacks are guaranteed to bring a smile.

Get them while you can. This limited-edition multipack is currently available at Target stores nationwide for $8.69. Each box contains (24) 1 oz. individual snack packs.

—Jennifer Swartvagher

Featured photo: Goldfish

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New year, new Goldfish! Goldfish is kicking off 2021 by expanding its Flavor Blasted line, with new Flavor Blasted Cheddar & Sour Cream crackers. These bite-sized crackers deliver big, bold flavor with an irresistible mix of Cheddar and Sour Cream.

Flavor Blasted Cheddar & Sour Cream Goldfish

Flavor Blasted Cheddar & Sour Cream Goldfish crackers is snack the whole family will love. Keep a bag (or two) on hand to satisfy cravings anytime, anywhere. Just like all Goldfish crackers, Flavor Blasted Cheddar & Sour Cream Goldfish crackers are baked with real cheese and made with no artificial flavors or preservatives.

Flavor Blasted Cheddar & Sour Cream Goldfish

Starting this January, Flavor Blasted Cheddar & Sour Cream Goldfish crackers will be available in select retailers, including Target and more, nationwide retailing for $2.49.

—Jennifer Swartvagher

All photos courtesy of Pepperidge Farm

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Exercise your little one’s creativity all summer long. Whether you’re heading on a road trip to explore the great outdoors or simply relaxing in your backyard, you’ll need lots of fun activities and good snacks. Goldfish Crackers has teamed up with Crayola to bring you the new Goldfish Colors Limited Edition Color on Me! Multipack. 

Goldfish Crayola

The limited-edition Goldfish multipack features interactive packaging that kids can draw and color on with Crayola products including crayons and markers. Now while your kids are coloring they can enjoy a wholesome snack that parents love too. 

Goldfish Crayola

Each box features 20 0.9 oz. single serve packs. Look for these at Target in stores and online, hitting shelves nationwide this July and retailing for $8.69.

—Jennifer Swartvagher

All photos courtesy of Goldfish

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Your favorite snack cracker is about to get a whole lot more fun! Pepperidge Farm Goldfish are coming out in brand new shapes this June––and you won’t want to miss this special edition batch.

For the first time ever, Goldfish is teaming up with Marvel to feature Avengers characters! Fans of the comic book world will be able to shop special edition cheddar shapes that include Iron Man, Black Widow, Black Panther, and the Avengers symbol.

Goldfish crackers are also collaborating with Disney Princess again, offering new packaging and special shapes. Expect to find Jasmine, Moana, and Cinderella hidden in your handful of delicious goldfishes.

You can find these special edition crackers exclusively at Target starting the first week of June for $2.49 per pack.

––Karly Wood

 

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If your kiddo was all about last year’s Mickey Mouse Goldfish, they’re in luck. The classic cracker is bringing the magical mouse back—and adding Minnie to the mix too!

In celebration of the dynamic mouse duo, Goldfish is partnering with Disney again in 2020.

The limited-edition crackers, which are exclusively available at Target until April, will include three editions of collectible packages. Of course, the outside of the bag isn’t all your kid cares about. The crackers are made from 100 percent real cheddar cheese and packed with the savory taste your child has come to know, love and expect from Goldfish.

Pick up your pack, or a few, from the big red bullseye retailer starting January 2020. The Mickey and Minnie Goldfish retail for $2.49 and, while you can only get them at Target for now, will hit other stores across the country in April 2020.

—Erica Loop

Photos: Courtesy of © Disney

 

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You’ve cleaned enough crumbs out of your kiddo’s car seat to know how much they love Goldfish crackers. And now, just in time for the new year, Pepperidge Farm is launching a new product line that is guaranteed to get some veggies into every serving. 

Goldfish Veggie crackers are the brand’s first-ever line of crackers made with 1/3 serving of vegetables. Available in two delicious kid-friendly flavors, Cheesy Tomato and Sweet Carrot, you can feel good serving these at snack time. 

Goldfish Veggie Crackers will be available at select grocers including, Kroger and Publix starting January 2020, followed by a nationwide roll out in March 2020.

—Jennifer Swartvagher

All photos courtesy of Pepperidge Farm

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Photo: Michele M. Waite

Most of us know we should be feeding our kids more fruits and vegetables. And most of us know that while that sounds easy in concept, in practice it can feel like an insurmountable challenge. Changing a family’s eating habits isn’t easy — and with the shortage of time and the abundance of convenient processed foods out there, eating healthy can often feel like a battle that’s lost before it’s begun.

When our kids were little, meal times were beyond stressful. We’re both busy professionals, so our schedules are always packed. Between work, traveling for work, and completing all the endless tasks and chores that accompany any parent’s busy schedule, we were perpetually exhausted. So when our son West refused veggies, many times “eat the broccoli” just wasn’t a hill we were willing to die on. We’d capitulate and end up feeding him buttered noodles, fruit snacks, and tubes of processed “yogurt.”

And it felt like we were failing him.

We didn’t want to set our kids up for a lifetime of bad habits eating only bland, over-processed food bereft of nutritional value. Food should be a joy, not a chore! Our wish list was simple: we wanted our kids to eat mostly real food and to approach new food with an open sense of curiosity. We don’t expect them to like everything, but we wanted them to enjoy the journey of trying new things and to be courageous. Ideally, we want them to grow up to eat mostly fresh, balanced meals without feeling guilty or obsessing about eating healthy or afraid to ever eat the doughnut. But it’d be dreamy if they feel internally motivated to choose healthful foods, eat regularly, and use internal cues of hunger and fullness to guide their eating.

We also wanted food to be a source of connection in our family. We grew up with opposite experiences with family meals: one of us grew up as a latch-key kid with parents who never cooked, the other grew up poor, but no matter what else was happening, the small family came together around meals. Mealtime was a place of joy and warmth, and we both wanted that for our own family.

It sounded great… but felt impossible to achieve. We started to wonder if there was another way. Could family meals be an experience that bonded us? Could we buck the insidious US kids’-menu brainwashing that tells us kids only eat hot dogs, chicken nuggets, and mac & cheese? As busy parents, how could we flip the script?

So we started to explore, and one day something miraculous happened. In the grocery store, our toddler West put some items into the cart without us noticing and we brought them home. As we unpacked the groceries and found a Jerusalem artichoke, we told him, “Westy, we don’t even know how to cook this.”

Without missing a beat, he said, “I’ll show you.”

So we let him loose to explore and he ate what he made. It marked a reset for our family. By engaging the kids in meal preparation and playing together, we discovered they weren’t only willing to try more diverse foods, they became excited about it. We started to research and were surprised to learn that the homogenized “kids’ menu” is an American invention and that in other countries, kids’ eat the same real food grown-ups eat. That was an awakening. If other kids could learn to do that, ours could, too!

So we started to let West and his sister, Maison, occasionally lead in the kitchen. We let them be active participants in meal preparation and we let them play. It takes on average preschoolers ten to fifteen exposures to a new food before they’re willing to experience it, and even more before they “like” it, so we had to unlock some patience on our part as well. We had to learn to let go and let them make a mess and to sometimes make things that no one (even us) wanted to eat. But we soon found that by giving them agency and freedom in the kitchen, along with certain gentle boundaries, we unlocked their natural curiosity and creativity. It changed everything. Now, instead of goldfish crackers or cookies, our kids turn to a salad as “comfort food.” (Really.)

It hasn’t always been easy for our family to find its path to healthy, happy family meals. We’re parents, not professional chefs or nutritionists, so we talked with experts to help us develop tips and tricks that actually work to end the power struggle around mealtime. But if we could share one tip with other harried parents from everything we learned, it’s this: It’s not about persuading kids to eat something they don’t want; it’s about inviting them to become creative, curious explorers who see new food something exciting to seek out. So let them play with their food—and play with them, too! After all, we’re going to share approximately 6,205 dinners with our children before they turn 18—it might as well be a fulfilling, joyful adventure.

Misha & Vicki Collins share more strategies to transform “picky” eaters into healthy, curious food adventurers in their new cookbook, “The Adventurous Eaters Club”, available for order now. 

Misha and Vicki Collins
Tinybeans Voices Contributor

Actor Misha Collins (TV’s Supernatural) & his wife, Dr. Vicki Collins, are parents of small children and authors of “The Adventurous Eaters Club” a cookbook that turns picky eaters into joyful, healthful food-explorers!

We’re all learning here…and I every intention to turn my challenges into lessons and allow them to support others (usually when we feel the least supported). I’m still new at this whole mom thing. So far, I’ve learned a lot, and there are few things I want to pass on to new moms (or not so new moms) as you travel on this journey of parenthood.

1. You’re new at this, too.

You grow and change as a mother just as much as your children do. When they are born, they are new to the world, and you are new as a parent. You will learn tough lessons and hard lessons and fun lessons and your kids will teach you a lot about yourself. It’s ok, especially in the early days, and with your first child, to realize, “Hey, I’m new at this too, and we will figure this out together” (as a family). I believe, your child chose you as a parent, and the most important thing you are doing is trust each other and trust yourself.

2. More sacrifice does not always make you a better parent.

I’ve noticed a trend with many mothers over the last few decades in which mothers tend to exhaust themselves like they feel the need to prove their love and devotion to their children to everyone and everything. Yes, I get it, all parents make sacrifices for their children. There are a lot of things I miss from my life before motherhood. But what I won’t sacrifice is my marriage, my own health, my hygiene or my life ambitions. My goals and plans may require a different route to get to and the timing may not happen the way I always thought, but I’m still on track. You cannot be the most present, focused, healthy, attentive, creative, loving and grateful parent you are capable of being when you are run down and resentful.

3. Take care of your body.

(This is why I work with clients for at least three to six months because overall balance, health, and wellness are all-encompassing and typically one area greatly affects another.) Listen to your body. Feed it nourishing foods. Sleep. Shower. Use quality products on your skin. Rest. Move your body. Sleep. Pay attention to what makes you not feel well. Have sex. Hug. Keep your surroundings healthy too. Cut back on “that which no longer serves you,” like wine, sugar and caffeine.

4. Take care of your mind.

Be kind to yourself. Something that always resonates highly with me when I work with clients is taking yourself out of a current situation or conversation and looking at yourself, talking to yourself—as though you were a best friend, a sister, a client or a child—with such unconditional love and absence of judgment. When you talk to yourself, have you heard yourself lately? Practice forgiveness, read, journal, meditate. This may not be something we can all spend hours on every day or even week. But coming back down to earth and tuning into our hearts and minds can reveal incredible lessons and really improve our communication and interactions with others (like our children and spouses).

5. This too shall pass… or evolve.

What you’re going through, right now, will change. When your child is a newborn, it’s easy to think that life may always be this hard, that you’ll never, ever, catch up on sleep again. It’s easy to think you’ll never fit into your old jeans, or you may not ever want to have sex again. When your child is 2, you may wonder if you’ll ever want to have another baby, if you’ll ever have the time for yourself that you once had (probably not). Will my child always tantrum like this? Will he ever eat more than yogurt, goldfish crackers and blueberries? For every stage of childhood development, there is a stage of parenthood development. And this season will be nothing like the next. Enjoy the journey and really work on taking in each day and each stage, because you will not go back to this again. Even if you have another baby, it will look completely different the next time around.

It’s so important that we trust ourselves as parents. I’ve found that trusting and owning what’s best for me, my home and our family makes all the difference in how I feel about myself and less worrying about what everybody else thinks. 

Nicole L. Schmitz, helps others to improve their energy, digestion, sleep, nutrition, weight, and health conditions with simplified, cleaner eating, and better self-care. She is a mother, aspiring yogi, writer, and artist, loves living by the beach, and inspiring others to make clear and confident healthy lifest‌yle choices every day.