Last night was hard for you. I asked you to watch the baby so I could go to bed early. The baby was crying. Wailing, really. I could hear him from upstairs, and my stomach knotted from the sound, wondering if I should come down there and relieve you or just shut the door so I could get some desperately needed sleep. I chose the latter.
You came into the room 20 minutes later, with the baby still frantically crying. You placed the baby in the bassinet and gently pushed it just a few inches closer to my side of the bed, a clear gesture that you were done watching him.
I wanted to scream at you. I wanted to launch an epic fight that very moment. I had been watching the baby and the toddler all damn day. I was going to be waking up with the baby to feed him all damn night. The least you can do is hold him for a couple of hours in the evening so I can attempt to sleep.
Just a few hours of precious sleep. Is that too much to ask?
I know we both watched our parents fulfill the typical mother-father roles growing up. Both our mothers were the primary caretakers and our fathers were relatively hands-off. They were excellent dads, but they weren’t expected to spend a significant amount of time changing diapers, feeding, caring, and tending to the kids. Our mothers were the superwomen who maintained the family dynamics. Cooking, cleaning, and raising the children. Any help from dad was welcome but unexpected.
I see us falling into these family dynamics more and more each day. My responsibility to feed the family, keep the house clean, and take care of the kids is assumed, even as I return to work. I blame myself for most of it, too. I have set the precedent that I can do it. And in truth, I want to. No offense, but I’m not sure I want to know what a week’s worth of dinner would look like with you in charge.
I also see my friends and other moms doing it all, and doing it well. I know you see it, too. If they can manage it, and if our mothers did it so well for us, why can’t I?
I don’t know.
Maybe our friends are playing the part in public and secretly struggling. Maybe our moms suffered in silence for years and now, 30 years later, they simply don’t remember how hard it really was. Or maybe, and this is something I berate myself over every single day, I’m just not as qualified for the job as everyone else. And as much as I cringe just thinking it, I’m going to say it: I need more help.
Part of me feels like a failure for even asking. I mean, you do help. You are an amazing father, and you do a great job with the kids. And besides, this should come easy to me, right? Motherly instincts, no?
But I’m human and running on five hours of sleep and tired as hell. I need you.
In the morning, I need you to get our toddler ready so I can care for the baby and make everyone’s lunches and drink a cup of coffee. And no, getting the toddler ready does not mean plopping him in front of the TV. It means making sure he goes potty, giving him some breakfast, seeing if he wants water, and packing his bag for school.
At night, I need an hour to decompress in bed, knowing our toddler is asleep in his room and the baby is in your care. I know it’s hard to listen to the baby cry. Believe me, I know. But if I can watch and pacify the baby for the majority of the day, you can do it for an hour or two at night. Please. I need you.
On weekends, I need more breaks. Times when I can get out of the house by myself and feel like an individual. Even if it’s just a walk around the block or a trip to the grocery store. And some days when I’ve scheduled swim class and play dates, and it seems like I’ve got it all under control, I need you to offer to lend me a hand. Or suggest I go lie down during the kids’ naptime. Or start putting away the dishes without me suggesting it. I need you.
Lastly, I need to hear you’re grateful for all I do. I want to know that you notice the laundry is done and a nice dinner has been prepared. I want to know you appreciate that I breastfeed at all hours and pump when I’m at work when it would be easier for me to formula feed. I hope you notice that I never ask you to stay home from your networking events and sports activities. As the mom, it’s assumed I’ll be home all the time and always available to care for the kids while you’re out and I feed that assumption by, well, being home all the time.
I know it’s not how our parents did it, and I hate even asking. I wish I could do it all and make it look effortless. And I wish I didn’t need kudos for doing things most people expect from a mom. But I’m waving a white flag and admitting I’m only human. I’m telling you how much I need you, and if I keep going at the pace I’ve been on, I will break. And that would hurt you, the kids, and our family.
Hi! I’m Celeste. I consider myself a relatively new mom with two boys ages 4 and 2. Other titles I go by include: wife, health & wellness coach, marketing guru, avid reader (self-help books are my favorite), writer, travel/adventure seeker and fitness nut.
The hunt for the perfect pair of leggings seems never-ending. If you’re anything like us, you have a whole drawerful of them, from $5 to $150. Of course, they’re also all different sizes, lengths, and fabrications. But the one thing they have in common? We all thought every last pair was the best at one time or another. Afterall, it’s always felt like trial-and-error was the only way to find the pair of your dreams. Until now. Flare leggings, workout, dress-up, or a combination, we’ve found the best of the best.
We’ve made sure they all are size-inclusive, versatile, and tested by our editors. We’re big fans of leggings around here, and whether you’re wearing them to work, to workout, or to run errands, we’ve covered them all. Their versatility is one of the reasons we love leggings so much, right? Sure, flare leggings are trending. But we also included the always-in-style classic silhouettes. Read on to find our favorite leggings (that we’re pretty sure will become your favorites, too!).
Best Flare Leggings
Athleta Elation Flare Pant
Athleta
From yoga to barre and runs to the grocery store, Athleta's Elation Flares are rated UPF 50+ and offer medium compression, so you feel held without constriction. Available in 4 colors. Sizes XXS-3X.
Insta booty lift and a smooth silhouette (meaning no muffin top). If you prefer a little more compression and shape, these iconic leggings are a win. Available in 3 (Dark Palm, pictured, and Midnight Navy are both on sale! Very Black is also available.) colors. XS-3X.
Beyond Yoga's spacedye fabric is unbelievably soft, and these pocket leggings feature a 5" waistband, midi length, and non-constrictive fit, you'll want to stay in these all the time. Available in 6 colors, XXS-4X.
Everyday Yoga Uphold Solid High Waisted Leggings With Pockets 28"
Everyday Yoga
Everyday Yoga's eco-friendly leggings include dual pockets and a flat waist + moisture-wicking elements so you stay comfortable. They come in 4 colors and sizes XS-XXL.
Let's hear it for these off-duty beauties with their soft fabrication and wide waistband. There's a reason why SKIMS is a cult favorite. 4 colors and sizes XXS-4X.
Okay, so Negative prefers to call these 'long underwear', but we don't care what they call them as long as they keep making them this cloud-like soft. They're as close to wearing nothing as you can get. Available in 8 colors and sizes XS-XXL.
Our shopping editor has been loyal to these leggings for years. They're unbelievably soft, come in a ton of colors, and are comfortable enough to sleep in. These are definitely not workout leggings.
You didn't think you'd get through a 'best leggings' roundup without seeing the OG SPANX Faux Leather Leggings did you? They are, in a word, perfect. Shaping, flattering, and available in sizes XS-3X.
We know you're loyal to your favorite leggings, but SECONDLEFT's collection managed to shock our shopping editor (in a good way). These leggings are perfect for working out and casual days, and if you're someone who likes to feel held in by your leggings without feeling restricted, you'll never go back once you try these. Available in multiple colors, sizes XS-2XL.
If you're a fan of color and prints, Draper James Sport is the collection for you. We're crushing on these ditsy floral leggings that stay bright even after multiple washes, and you can rock them from the gym to brunch to school pick up. Sizes XS-3X.
These Italian-made leggings can fit into a few different categories, and our shopping editor can't stop raving about them. Ultra-stretchy (like beyond stretchy), eco-friendly, and available in 4 colors, sizes S-XL.
These leggings are on the Oprah's Favorite Things List for 2022, so they're vetted! They're also made with 79% recycled bottles, so your high-impact workouts can feel even better. 10 colors, and sizes XXS-6XL, making them the most size-inclusive option we've found!
All the products listed are independently & personally selected by our shopping editors.
If you buy something from the links in this article, we may earn affiliate commission or compensation. Prices and availability reflect the time of publication.
What is it with kids not putting on their shoes? You ask nicely. You remind them kindly. But there they are playing on their devices in their socks, and you turn into Momzilla. All parents try their best, but no one gets it right all of the time. We asked two licensed therapists and a Montessori educator to weigh in on common discipline mistakes parents make and techniques to break out of them.
1. Inconsistency
According to Nilou Esmaeilpour, MSc, RCC at lotustherapy.ca, “One of the most common mistakes is not being consistent with discipline. This can confuse children and make them unsure about what to expect.” Children–whether toddlers or tweens–thrive on consistency. You wouldn’t think so by how often they argue with you. But nothing is more aggravating than getting away with something one day and getting punished for it the next.
Psychologists call this sort of inconsistent discipline intermittent reinforcement, and yes, every parent in the history of the world has accidentally reinforced the wrong thing. The great news is that you can walk back this habit. Esmaeilpour advises parents to set clear boundaries and rules. “Make sure all caregivers are on the same page regarding what behaviors are acceptable and the consequences of misbehavior.”
This can be hard if you can’t reach an agreement with your relatives or spouse on the behaviors that deserve consequences. If this is your situation, focus on being consistent in your zone. Once your littles know you’re serious, they won’t test those boundaries as much as they do now.
2. Relying Solely on Punishments
“Many parents react to bad behavior instead of proactively teaching good behavior,” says Esmaeilpour. This is an easy discipline mistake because no one wants to raise children who expect an award every time they do what they’re supposed to. But think back to when you had a boss or teacher who only criticized your mistakes. Did that motivate you to do your best work? Or did you feel like giving up because there was no way to please them?
While you do need to correct your crew, spend more time teaching the values and actions you want to see. Your tween is a student in the school of life, so coach them accordingly. And then “focus on positive reinforcement and rewards for good behavior, rather than only punishments for undesirable actions,” adds Esmaeilpour.
Multiplestudies have shown that positive reinforcement works better and faster than punishment. Teachers call this ‘catching someone doing good;’ it’s a powerful way to motivate kids to do the right thing. Make a goal to praise your little ones for six good things they do each day, and reward yourself every time you hit it. When that gets easy, raise the quota.
3. Being Overly Authoritative
No parent in their right mind negotiates with a toddler running toward the street. Or debates the merits of pureed vegetables with a six-month-old. So there are moments when we need kids to do what they’re told, but as Esmaeilpour points out, “demanding blind obedience can stifle a child’s sense of autonomy and independence.” Ultimately, we want our minis to grow into independent, resourceful people who will do the right thing even when it’s hard. Those aren’t skills you learn in a household run like a boot camp.
Esmaeilpour advocates that parents “Explain the reasons behind rules and involve older children in rule-setting.” You may want to start with a house rule your tween has trouble with. Tell them that while you are the parent and will set the rules, you want to hear their side of the story. Then, ask follow-up questions. Could you modify the house rule based on their feedback? Sometimes the answer isn’t “no,” it’s “not yet.” If that is the case for the house rule you’re discussing, you’ll need to map out when it might change.
Discussion takes longer than issuing demands, but stick with it. Children who know why they’re avoiding certain behaviors are more obedient when you aren’t watching. Tweens who help shape the rules of the house move from “My parents don’t let me do that” to “I don’t do that.” At that point, they will make better choices as they move through the world.
4. Not Following Through with Consequences
Montessori educator and PATH International certified therapeutic riding instructor Samantha Facciolo says, “One common mistake I see parents making about discipline is not following through with appropriate consequences. Take an unruly child in a community pool: The parent might warn the child, ‘If you don’t stop screaming/splashing people, we’re going home.’ Too often, the parent might reissue the demand several times without following through. In this case, the child is being taught that it’s okay to not respect the limits set and, consequently, is not learning self-regulation. Empty threats send the message that the parent doesn’t need to be trusted and doesn’t need to be listened to.”
Facciolo outlines three ways to stop making this discipline mistake. First, outline clear expectations for how the child should behave and offer age-appropriate explanations for your expectations. “Explain these before the child is distracted by the excitement and stimuli of the outing. Parents can also outline what consequence–not punishment–will result if the appropriate behaviors are not exhibited.”
If your child does misbehave, Facciolo suggests that you “find a quiet, calm moment to remind the child of the expected behavior. The child can correct the undesired behavior and continue enjoying the outing, or the parent will enact a logical and related consequence.”
And lastly, follow through on the outlined consequence if needed.
Set yourself up for success, and pick a set of consequences in advance and make sure you are willing to follow through on them. That way, you won’t paint yourself into a corner.
5. Not Allowing Natural Consequences
To be clear, we’re not talking about letting a child get burned by the stove or fall from a second-story window. “If it’s safe to do so, let your child experience the results of their choices (like forgetting a jacket on a chilly day). They’ll likely remember the feeling and choose differently next time,” says Esmaeilpour.
Letting kids experience natural consequences can be hard to do. The key is to start small; if your minis forget to pack a towel before going to the pool, let them put on their clothes while soaking wet. Then work your way up. If they don’t complete their homework, then they fail the assignment. The key is to choose natural consequences that your child finds uncomfortable. Some kids don’t care if they’re wet or receive a bad grade on an assignment. You know them best, so pick your battles.
6. Setting Unrealistic Expectations
You could set a piece of cake on the coffee table, tell your two-year-old not to eat it, and walk away, but if you’ve been parenting for more than five minutes, you wouldn’t expect it to be there when you return. Toddlers lack the impulse control to follow through with that type of expectation. Tweens, on the other hand, are mature enough to leave the cake alone. Every age has its breaking point. If we expect too much of our adults-in-training, it will harm our relationship with our kids and teach them that they can’t do anything right.
According to Esmaeilpour, the best way to set realistic expectations is to know what children are capable of at every age and stage. Many science-backed articles, videos, and webinars cover everything from age-appropriate chores to when you can expect better impulse control. Pick your preferred medium and set aside time to learn.
7. Using Negative Labels
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We need to correct kids when they do something wrong. But as Esmaeilpour points out, “calling a child ‘naughty’ or ‘bad’ can negatively impact their self-esteem and self-worth.” It can also backfire. You might be trying to shame your kid into doing the right thing, but they may embrace the label instead. Raise your hand if you’ve seen a preschooler shout, with great gusto, “I’m naughty!”
Distinguish between the action and the child. “That was a bad choice” focuses on the problem. “You’re bad” is calling the child a lost cause. Pick a phrase now–before you’re irritated–so you know what you will say when your kid does something wrong.
8. Invalidating Emotions
We’ve all been there. All you want to do is run into the grocery store for that one thing, and your mini starts screaming because you won’t buy the giant squishmallow. You know you should react patiently, but instead, you snap, “You’re not hurt, knock it off!” But as Cheryl Groskopf, an LMFT and LPCC at evolutiontohealing.com says, “Invalidating a child’s emotions as a way of discipline makes them perceive that their reality does not match the world around them. It makes the child think that their emotions are ‘wrong.’”
But knowing better and doing better are two different things when you’re out in public. As Groskopf points out, the first step to breaking the cycle is to “acknowledge your emotions. Perhaps you’re not mad at your child for throwing a tantrum, but you’re feeling embarrassment or shame.” Then, treat yourself and your child with understanding. “Remember that your emotions are valid and real, and so are the child’s.”
It’s much easier to react with empathy when you understand someone’s point of view. You wouldn’t tell a friend who lost a loved one to snap out of it. Losing out on that Squishmallow isn’t nearly as bad, but it may be the worst thing to ever happen to your two-year-old.
9. Yelling or Losing Your Temper
Yelling can be scary for children and doesn’t teach them how to deal with conflicts constructively. They’re also less likely to tell you things that might upset you if you’re quick to lose your temper.
The first step in combatting a yelling habit is to notice when you’re getting upset. Then, pick a technique to short-circuit your usual response. Esmaeilpour advises, “If you feel yourself getting angry, take a deep breath, count to ten, or step away for a moment to regroup.”
Managing anger is hard. This goes double for folks who grew up in a house with parents who yelled. If you need support parenting around your temper, don’t go it alone. Join a parent support group or speak to a therapist.
10. Not Modeling the Behavior You Expect
There’s nothing quite as humbling as hearing your words come out of your toddler’s mouth. “Children often mimic adult behavior. If parents don’t model the behavior they expect from their children, it can send mixed messages,” says Esmaeilpour. We joke about toddlers picking up our less glorious phrases, but tweens also mimic. They’re just more subtle about it. If you’re sarcastic when you get frustrated, they probably are, too.
Sometimes, it’s hard to notice when we miss this particular mark. Start by observing your child, and make a note of behaviors that you don’t like. Ask a trusted friend or relative if you do the same thing (you may learn some uncomfortable things about yourself), and make a plan to model the behavior you want to see.
Esmaeilpour suggests a series of techniques that can help, no matter the issue you’re trying to solve.
Educate Yourself
Read books, attend workshops, or join parenting groups where you can gain knowledge and receive support.
Reflect and Apologize
When you make a discipline mistake, apologize to your child. Sometimes, parents think apologizing undermines their authority. The fact is, your kid knows when you’re wrong. Admitting your mistake builds credibility and models the behavior you want to see.
Seek Feedback
The best athletes in the world hire coaches to watch what they’re doing and advise them on getting better. Ask your partner, close friends, or even your children for feedback. They can provide valuable insights.
Consider Counseling or Therapy
A professional can offer personalized strategies and insights to address specific challenges.
Our kids don’t need us to be perfect. They need parents who try their best and look for ways to improve. Through your hard work and determination, you will be the parent you want to be and raise great kids to boot.
Is it just us or is walking kids through a parking lot a general nightmare? And if you have more than one kid? Forget it. While parking near the shopping cart corral and immediately loading them in the cart can certainly help in some situations, often you’ll need to trust your little one to walk alongside you in a busy lot to get to Target, the grocery store, or daycare. This is tough for kids, especially when they’ve been trapped in a car seat for a while and all they want to do is run.
Parenting coach Mandy Grass recently shared some strategies for addressing the issue of kids running away in parking lots on Instagram. Threats don’t work particularly well in this situation, so Mandy recommends that you set the expectation of what’s going to happen and practice practice practice.
Here are Mandy’s tips for navigating parking lot runners:
Tell your kids where they can run. This can look something like: “When we get to the park, we can run, but we always have to walk and hold hands when we’re crossing the street.” This lets kids know that the running is coming, and they just need to wait a bit.
Give choices: “In the parking lot, your choices are to hold my hand or else mommy is going to have to pick you up.” If they start to run, you’ll say, “Okay, mommy is going to have to pick you up” and then follow through.
Create opportunities to practice what to do in the parking lot. You would work on this skill when the danger level is low, like in an empty lot. Then when you are in a higher-risk situation, like a busy parking lot in the dark, your child will know what is expected.
As with any skill, the key to this is practice. The more you go over the steps with your child, the less they need the reminders.
You’ve probably heard the phrase “communication is key,” but how often do you think about it? Whether we like it or not, how we communicate with others heavily impacts our lives. And as women in a still heavily patriarchal world, we face additional scrutiny for our language.
“In our society, women are taught from a very young age that our worth is based on external validation, acceptance, and belonging. Pair that with ever-present messages from a society that glorifies all things masculine and vilifies, minimizes, and infantilizes all things feminine, and you get an impossible scenario of being stuck between a rock and a hard place for women to operate ‘correctly,’” says holistic life and career coach and founder of Inclusive Leadership Collective Nikki Innocent.
Does that mean we should completely change the way we speak? Do we need to talk “more like men”? Not quite. But there’s something to be said about altering our language a bit. Not because men criticize it, but more to remind ourselves and one another that we are worthy of existing and taking up space as much as anyone else.
The following list of phrases women should stop using are not ways to continue to criticize gendered language. It is a reminder that we (as women and mothers) are much more deserving, accomplished, interesting, and worthy than the world might sometimes tell us we are. We spoke with several experts to get their ideas on this complex issue and how we can ensure our voices are heard as loudly as anyone else’s.
Phrases Women Should Stop Saying
1. “I am sorry.”
How often have you apologized for things that were your fault and also not your fault? Or for things that had no one to blame? Or for simply existing? I know I’m guilty of this far too often, but experts agree we need to save this one for only when necessary.
“There are two times that women should say ‘I am sorry,'” says Eliza VanCort, transformation teacher and author of A Woman’s Guide to Claiming Space: Stand Tall. Raise Your Voice. Be Heard. The first is when they have done something wrong, and the second is when a task goes awry because they should have asked for help but didn’t. According to VanCort, apart from those two situations, apologizing isn’t helpful as it insinuates that you’re doing something wrong when you aren’t.
Innocent agrees. “Understand why you are saying it and give yourself permission to slowly reprogram yourself to what feels more aligned with how you want to engage with the world around you rather than the default most of us have of apologizing for needing anything or just existing,” she says.
Both Innocent and VanCort say shifting from apologetic to being appreciative can help with this. A simple “Thank you!” instead of “I’m sorry” is a solid start.
VanCort says many women have a difficult time saying no, as we are taught to be caretakers in our communication. This leads us to offer less confrontational statements. And when we offer such a soft or unsure response, it’s not surprising others may take advantage.
“Imagine a man says, ‘Are you OK with me giving the presentation even though you did most of the background work?’ Now assume there’s no logical reason for this request, and, in addition, the man has consistently taken credit for your work. Your answer can simply be ‘No,’” VanCort says.
She says to further your point, you can also directly explain why you’re not okay with it, such as the fact that you did the work and it’s important to you.
3. “Thank you so, so much!” when it isn’t warranted.
How often have you heard a girlfriend express extreme gratitude over her spouse doing something that is the bare minimum, like watching the kids for the night or doing the dishes?
Dr. Renee Solomon, a licensed clinical psychologist and co-owner of Forward Recovery, says many women are often overly grateful for things they don’t need to be.
“This is followed by a woman profusely thanking that person over and over. It is okay to thank someone for doing something, but a woman should not have to thank anyone profusely for fulfilling a basic expectation,” Solomon says.
Save the extreme gratitude for when it’s warranted, like someone saving your family from a burning building. Folding and putting the laundry away? Nah.
4. “Don’t worry about it.”
“Often when women are wronged and someone apologizes, we will follow their apology with ‘don’t worry about it,’” VanCort says. While acceptable if it was a genuine mistake, if someone is consistently unkind and apologizes without any real behavioral change, there’s no reason to tell them not to worry about it.
“Excusing it sets you up for it happening again,” she says. Instead, she suggests saying something like, “Thank you for your apology, and I hope this doesn’t happen again. It’s not OK.”
5. “… but what do you think?”
While getting others’ input can be good at times, other times we’re just undercutting ourselves. “(The phrase) ‘… but what do you think?’ takes away the idea that has been presented and makes it appear that the woman does not know if it is a good idea,” Solomon says. She recommends women make their statements and pause for a response rather than immediately second-guessing themselves, which can make us sound less self-assured.
VanCort offers similar phrases like “I’m no expert” or “This might be a bad idea… but.” “This is a classic example of a woman diminishing her opinion to avoid pushback. If you believe something is worth saying, don’t start undermining what you’re going to say. If you have an opinion, state it without apology,” she says.
6. “This has to be perfect.”
Many women struggle to make themselves and or their surroundings fit some ideal. A perfectly clean home. The perfect holiday memories. Going to great lengths to fit impossible standards of beauty.
“We don’t see the invisible energy drain that perfectionism creates,” Innocent says. She recommends saying something as simple as “Oops!” to combat this.
“From making stumbles as small as forgetting something from the grocery store to sending an email to the wrong person or without an attachment… All of them are now met with an ‘Oops, I’m human, and I know I tried my best!’” she says.
She reminds herself and others that mistakes benefit our future selves in some way and that accepting this also allows us to release control. Another phrase she offers: “I’m doing the best that I can with what I have, and I’m a human being.”
How often do we hear men in meetings say something like this? The answer is almost never.
“So often when working with women stepping into leadership positions, we grapple with a limiting belief of ‘I’ll take whatever I can get because if I ask for what I need or say no, I’ll burn a bridge or seem ungrateful. That belief doesn’t come out of nowhere; it’s a message many of us receive overtly or subvertly when interacting with the world around us,” Innocent says.
Innocent works with women who struggle to get what they need by helping them shift the narrative to a place of strength, knowing, and trust. She advises reframing being “lucky” to being intentional and stating needs outright and what happens if those needs aren’t met. For example, if you require X to move forward with a project, say that if you don’t get that, you won’t move forward.
A final note:
There are certainly some other phrases women should stop saying (like “I should”), but these are a great starting point. Moreover, we must recognize why these phrases work against us (mainly patriarchy) and that we raise our kids to understand the complexities of this so we can continue to move away from it. It’s just as important to remind boys and men to make women and others feel as worthy as they are.
A relaxing stay at a hotel sounds like the perfect vacation, but having a baby in a hotel means doing some pre-planning. The focus: potential hazards and figuring out how your child will eat, sleep, and have their diaper changed in your new space. Also, you’ll want to ask questions like: Do hotel rooms have cribs? Read on for 7 tips and hotel hacks so you can rock your room like a parenting pro.
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1. Borrow the hotel's baby supplies. Many parents have lots of questions when traveling with a baby like, "Do hotel rooms provide cribs?" Most offer cribs free of charge (bring your own sheets), and many lend out high chairs so you can leave the travel chair at home. Some chain hotels even supply bottle warmers, diaper pails, and sound machines. If you're staying at a hotel with minimal options, look online for local rental firms like BabyQuip that can outfit you with everything you need for your room, as well as a stroller for outings.
2. Have necessities delivered. Why waste suitcase space with extra diapers, wipes, and snacks when you can have them delivered to your hotel? First confirm that your hotel will accept deliveries prior to your arrival, and then put that Amazon Prime membership to good use, or use a local grocery-store delivery service. If you're staying at a higher-end hotel, they will often pre-stock the room with all of your parenting needs.
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3. Do an initial cleaning. When you get into your room, plonk baby on the bed with a toy and give the room a quick cleaning. Bring disinfecting wipes to clean telephones, TV remotes, alarm clocks, door handles, and other objects your child might touch or put in their mouth. Move garbage cans up to countertops so your little one can't get into the trash. Then get on your hands and knees to assess the room from baby level. Are there any coins or small, sharp objects on the floor? Any sharp edges on furniture to watch out for? Did a previous tenant leave anything under the bed or couch that you don't want your child to play with?
4. Create a kitchen. If your room doesn’t include a kitchen, one of the best hotel hacks is to set up a makeshift command center to handle everything from warming bottles to making oatmeal. The in-room coffee machine can sometimes even steam veggies or boil eggs for your little one. And if your room doesn't have a refrigerator, bring a collapsible cooler to keep your child's food fresh. You can also tote it along on your daily adventures (ice from the ice machine keeps things cool), so it's worth making room for it in your luggage.
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5. Don't forget the tape. While your home may be decked out in safety locks, corner guards, and outlet covers, all you need to pack to baby-proof the hotel is duct tape. It can be used to secure drapery cords, seal electrical outlets, keep toilet lids and mini-fridges closed, and more. If your furniture has sharp edges, place a washcloth over the edge and tape it in place! Running low on tape? In a pinch, Band-Aids can cover outlets to keep curious fingers safe.
6. Create baby stations for daily tasks. Since hotel rooms aren't set up for children, finding space to change diapers or heat bottles can be tricky. Designate the desk or dresser as your baby changing station and move other items to a different spot. Pack a small bag or portable changing station to keep diaper cream, wipes, and diapers organized. A hanging cosmetic case attached to a door can double as a bottle-making station.
7. Ensure a good night’s sleep. Re-creating the soothing comforts of home can help your child, and you, sleep better. If your child falls asleep to music or a noise machine at home, bring them. (If you play them through your smartphone, placing it in a coffee cup can help amplify the volume.) If you’re using the hotel’s crib, bring your own sheets for a sanitized snooze that smells, feels, and looks like home. If your baby is used to sleeping in their own room, create a separate space by placing the crib in the bathroom or closet, or tucking the crib behind the couch or TV. And if your baby can’t get comfortable in an unfamiliar bed, make a baby nest by rolling extra-large hotel towels lengthwise on the mattress to form a pod and placing a spare fitted sheet (check the closets for extras) over the mattress to make a cozy sleeping space.
Make sure to capture all your best travel moments—and share them with your family and friends near and far—with the Tinybeans app. The secure platform puts parents in total control of who sees and interacts with photos and videos of their kids.
You know you’re an adult when you proudly have a favorite grocery store, and for many of us, it’s Trader Joe’s. While older folks get a kick out of the vast wine selection and the plethora of freezer meals, there are plenty of other reasons to love the neighborhood grocer. We’ve rounded up a handful of Trader Joe’s secrets and tips (including some from a store manager!) that will take your next trip to TJ’s to the next level.
1. You can return anything.
iStock
Do you have a picky eater who no longer scarfs down bags of peanut butter Bamba? Or maybe that soup wasn’t what you thought it was? Never fear, you can take it back to Trader Joe’s for a refund with no questions asked. Just take your item up to the customer service desk and let them know you’d like to return a product.
2. Trader Joe’s accepts manufacturer coupons.
It is most definitely true that TJ’s does not mark down products for sale, but here’s a big Trader Joe’s secret: they take manufacturer coupons. The next time you head to the store, grab those coupons for Annie’s or your Fage yogurt and hand them over at the checkout counter.
3. All Trader Joe’s labeled products are non-GMO.
Tinybeans
Yes, it’s true. A manager confirmed that private-label Trader Joe’s products are all free from genetically modified organisms (GMOs). So why doesn’t the label say so?
According to the company, US government agencies do not currently have clear guidelines addressing food and beverage labeling. Rather than waiting, Trader Joe’s has gone ahead and made the position of non-GMO ingredients a part of what the overall label encompasses.
P.S.: All private-label products also have no artificial flavors or preservatives, MSG, or partially hydrogenated oils!
4. Not sure if you’ll like something? Ask for a sample.
Trader Joe’s takes the guesswork out of spending your hard-earned grocery money on something the kids might hate. Just ask an employee if you can sample a product and 99% of the time, they’ll indulge you! (The jury is still out on whether this includes wine sampling.)
Early in the day or later evening is the name of the Trader Joe’s shopping game. While every store differs slightly depending on its location (suburbs, city, etc.), most employees agree that 8-10 a.m. and the post-dinner hour on weekdays are ideal for no crowds. Weekends are a whole other ballgame, especially the Sunday post-church hour which tends to be uber busy. So drop off the big kids at school, then head over to TJ’s to shop in peace and quiet.
6. The scavenger hunt for kids is real.
You’ve probably heard about the hidden stuffie in your local Trader Joe’s, and it’s the real deal. Employees hide one in every store, changing it weekly, to keep your kids on their toes while you focus on stocking up your cart. When your kiddo finds the hidden animal, they can point it out to an employee for a special prize. It’s one of the best Trader Joe’s secrets of all!
7. Trader Joe’s is serious about seasonal items.
Tinybeans
It only takes one, tasteless January to realize how much you loved those candy cane Joe-Joe’s that you’ll have to wait another year to stock up on. The grocer seriously enjoys spoiling its customers with seasonal and limited edition food, body, decor, and garden products—and it works because we look forward to them every year. That being said, there is no shame in the stock-up game (so long as you leave some for the rest of us!). Grab a few extra boxes of pumpkin pancake mix and minty star cookies the next time they’re in season to hold you over. Afraid you’ll miss the last shipment of your fave item? Don’t be afraid to ask a crew member on if the item is sticking around.
8. Trader Joe’s is staffed by a nautical crew.
When you work for Trader Joe’s, you aren’t just an employee. In fact, the grocer assigns nautical titles! Entry-level employees are called Crew Members, with Merchants being the next level up. Merchants perform the same duties as the Crew but have received special recognition from their community for excellent customer service. Assistant store leaders are called Mates, while store leaders are Captains. Captains are always promoted from within, just another reason to love the company. Ahoy!
Did you know Trader Joe’s employees try ALL new products that hit the shelves? The company firmly believes in empowering all crew members to be able to answer customer questions honestly. So the next time you’re on the fence about the Unexpected Cheddar or a wedge of Italian Truffle Cheese, just ask an employee!
10. The Trader Joe’s bells are important.
No doubt you’ve been shopping and heard a few bell rings near the cash registers. Employees ring them once, twice, or three times to communicate with each other because the stores do not utilize a traditional PA system. A manager says that one ring means to open another register, two rings mean there is a checkout line question and three rings mean a manager is needed at the front of the store.
11. Trader Joe’s loves contests.
The folks at Trader’s love amping up guests, and that’s why you can always count on some sort of wacky contest happening throughout the year. From the most recent “Scent-sational Candle Contest,” and past events like the Milkshake Contest and the Corn Contest (we are serious), customers are often asked to weigh in with their opinions and ideas, for a chance to win a TJ’s gift card. Even tiny Trader shoppers can get in on the mix, with many stores offering monthly coloring contests. Just stop by the manager’s desk when you arrive to grab a page!
It’s no surprise that the grocery store is a minefield of toddler meltdown triggers, from the donuts in the bakery department to the chocolate bars somehow placed perfectly at kids’ eye level in the checkout lane. But other than resorting to Instacart for the entirety of their childhood, there’s not much we can do to avoid trips to the supermarket with the kids in tow.
Most parents lay down a few “no” statements or threats before heading in: Don’t touch anything and don’t ask me to buy anything. But parenting coach Destini Anne Davis suggests a way to reframe the experience to give your kids a purpose: “Let’s focus on what they can do rather than what they can’t do. Give them a task.”
“When we go in this store, you’re going to be the number navigator,” Davis offers as an example of a task she’d assign her child. “I need you to put your binoculars on. And when I say bread is on aisle three, you’re in charge of finding it. That is your job.” Or another option: “You’re the purple person. Every aisle we go [down], it is your job to point out two purple things.”
The sheer boredom of grocery shopping has kids looking for something to do (honestly, we don’t blame them), and by assigning them a role, you’re helping them to stay focused on a positive behavior instead of always asking for a treat. “If you have a child that experiences big feelings, rather than always waiting on the back end and trying to help them process those feelings, it is important for us to curate positive experiences as well. And the grocery store typically isn’t a positive experience,” Davis says. “So it’s okay to trick their brains into focusing on something enjoyable, on something that makes them feel empowered, autonomous.”
If you’re looking for another way to mix things up at the grocery store, let your toddler “drive” the cart by turning it around so they are facing forward instead of backward. This simple trick makes them more engaged in the task at hand and (hopefully) less likely to have an epic meltdown.
Makeup is expensive. It just is. It’s easy to drop hundreds, if not thousands of dollars on cosmetics every year, so when the opportunity arises to save a little money, we consider that a major win. Whether you wear a full face or just like a little light enhancement, the rule is: brows, lashes, lips. If you only have a few minutes, or prefer knocking out your look fast, hitting those three products will frame your face and bring out your natural beauty even more. When mascara is that important, making sure it’s only the good stuff matters. But you don’t have to spend a ton, either. Not when you’re in the market for the best drugstore mascara.
You could stroll the makeup department at the store, but inexpensive and easy are two of our favorite things. Although these are brands found at drugstores, we snagged them all from Amazon. As a bonus, the reviews speak for themselves (you won’t find that on a drugstore shelf). These Amazon customers swear each one is the best drugstore mascara, but they’re all fabulous. Plus, most of them are less than $10. You can afford to experiment to find your new favorite.
Maybelline Lash Sensational Sky High Mascara
Maybelline
Length + volume is the combo this mascara from Maybelline uses to create lift that almost 127,000 Amazon reviewers rave about.
Real Review:I never used to bother with mascara at all because my lashes are so short all that would end up happening was I would go from having short lashes, to still having short lashes that are now clogged up with black gunk. However, I was required to get some mascara for a shoot and went with this one because I loved the brush and OH. MY. GOD. People asked me if I had fakes on! I’m literally obsessed and it’s a total game changer for when you want a more natural, cute look to your eyes without eyeliner or crazy shadow. Can’t say it did much for volume (and I admittedly probably used too much because like I said, not an experienced mascara user), but the length it gives is insane. Don’t think. Just buy.—Destini Moody
This TikTok-viral mascara caught everyone's attention. It gives a false lash-effect that you're craving with a few swipes of the wand. Just ask one of the 350,00+ reviewers.
Real Review: I am a person who uses false lashes on a daily basis for the past four years or so and this mascara makes my lashes look amazing. I still use my false lashes because I’ve gotten used to the way it makes me look, but I would absolutely wear justice mascara when I’m going to work or to the grocery store on a regular basis when I’m not going out it’s incredible. It is the best mascara I have ever use and it’s easy to come off. And does it make your eyes it’s like other mascaras that claim to give you a false lashes look buy it now.—Tamera Myers
One of the originals, this mascara is easy to go back to again and again. It's a dense formula that can be layered. And a 4.6 Amazon rating? Hard to beat that.
Real Review:Used this time and time again. Applies great for price and I am a big fan of the brush! You can even bend the wand a bit at the end of you prefer a curved wand/brush for application. I have dark brown hair and always get the black.—Isabel Hocker
Looking for drama? Look no further than Telescopic Mascara from L'Oréal. You'll get incredible length and separation, and it layers really nicely with other formulas if you want some extra volume.
Real Review:I can’t even tell you how many mascaras I have used in my many years of wearing makeup. So far this has been the best, especially for the price. I personally love the look of the shinny black, it makes your lashes super long and just pop! Will definitely order again.—Trish B.
For 10x more volume without clumping or flaking, Lash Blast Mascara coats every lash and skips the spider effect.
Real Review:I don't know what else to say. I've been using this mascara since I was in highschool and will continue to do so until I die or they stop making it. The applicator has a very nice brush that fully coats my lashes and doesn't make them clump together as im putting it on. Sometimes I pair it with their white brush-on lash extensor for extra length and I absolutely love it!—Esther W.
Strengthen your lashes while you look great. Healthy Lengths Mascara uses olive oil, vitamin E, and rice protein to keep your lashes in tip-top shape.
Real Review:This is the best mascara I have found in the 60 years I have been using mascara. Easy to apply, does not clump, stays on all day. When you are ready to remove it washes off easily with soap and water. Great mascara and reasonably priced. Will be my mascara from now and will recommend to others.—C. blenis
HEROINE MAKE by KISSME Long & Curl Up Waterproof Mascara
HEROINE MAKE
Yes, okay, this is actually a Japanese drugstore brand, but once you see how well it works, you won't mind the couple extra bucks. If you're in the market for ultra-ultra-ultra-black mascara that lengthens and curls, you'll want to try this one out.
Real Review:I’ve tried my fair share of mascaras but oh my! My true love is the L’Oréal telescopic mascara but when I ran out I decided to try this and I’m in love! Layers and layers and it doesn’t look heavy or spidery. They look so beautiful with lots of layers or very few. I have long moderately thick lashes so I generally look for extra length and lift . Also this doesn’t give me raccoon eyes when I have slept in it or even wash it off with oil cleanser (it foams!??!) I can sleep in this , cry, rub Im and it does not budge until I want it to. I’m definitely buying this for my sisters wedding!—Olive Shreve
Darken those lashes in more ways than one. Gentle lash tint technology gradually darkens your lashes over 7 days so they'll even look more defined without any mascara at all.
Real Review:This is my favorite mascara by far! It makes my lashes look so much thicker and fuller without having to use fake lashes. I'll never buy another kind of mascara again!—Audrey Sheffield
Microfibers grab every lash to lengthen and build for dramatic lashes that last.
Real Review:Every time I think I'm going to get a different mascara - I'm disappointed and go back to this one. It goes on beautifully. Layers well, never clumps. Washes off easily and doesn't smudge. It also helps my fragile lashes grow. What's not to love? It is hard to find, which is why I buy it off Amazon. Love, love, love it.—Melanie H. S.
Up to 24 hour wear sounds unreal, but the reviews don't lie (although we don't recommend wearing mascara for a full 24 hours, we know life happens).
Real Review: I read several reviews and decided to try the Milani Brand. I am thrilled with the product. It is challenging to take off, and one must have patience when removing it because it does not come off quickly. It will stay on all day until you remove it at night, and you can see the little tubular lengtheners. It's a trip because I wanted to make sure it was not my lashes that were being removed, and it was not. Great product.—Tracey R. Levy
While we know this one is a bit more on the higher end price-wise, it doesn't take much of it to get the lash extension look without the cost. The tubing fiber effect doesn't flake, either. If length isn't what you're after, check out blinc's other mascara options, too.
Real Review:I've searched high and low for a mascara that adds length AnD volume while staying out and not smudging or flaking all over the place and I've finally found the holy grail. Before finding this mascara I wouldn't leave my house without fake lashes on, and now I can give my lashes a break. 10/10 beauty product. —GreenvilleMom
From the folks who brought us those set-and-peel lip stains you've probably seen all over TikTok comes a fabulously volumizing mascara. The vegan wax formula even helps create and hold curl.
Real Review:This mascara is my new favorite. Goes on smoothly and evenly was zero effort. No clumps. Made my lashes look longer and fuller. A breeze to remove at night. —Daria Holley
All the products listed are independently & personally selected by our shopping editors.
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It’s likely that the extent of your knowledge about the small Caribbean island of St. Barthelemy (or St. Barths/St. Barts, for short) is that it is frequently visited by celebrities and involves a flight from St. Martin that culminates in a dramatic runway landing. Turns out, you’ll also find families flocking to this island full of secluded beaches, high-end shopping, and some of the best seafood you’ve ever tasted. We visited the Hôtel Barrière Le Carl Gustaf in St. Barths and found it to be the perfect Caribbean home-away-from-home for families.
Hôtel Barrière Le Carl Gustaf
Hôtel Barrière Le Carl Gustaf
Le Carl Gustaf sits on a hill overlooking the harbor in the town of Gustavia on St. Barths. The high-end service offered by the property begins with your arrival at the tiny St. Barths airport where hotel staff will collect you and your belongings for the short ride up the hill.
Hôtel Barrière Le Carl Gustaf
With only 21 suites, lofts, and a villa to choose from, you can be assured that your visit to Le Carl Gustaf will be extraordinary. The villa and lobby/restaurant sit at the top of the property with the remainder of the private rooms down some stairs from there. Each room has its own private plunge pool and you can even have the staff add a water bike to your pool if you wish to use it for workouts. Your deck is an excellent spot for viewing the gorgeous sunsets that this area of the world is known for or enjoying some sunrise yoga.
Families can book a two-bedroom suite or the large villa allows for even more guests to vacation together, perfect for that multi-generational vacation. Rooms near the top of the property have the best views of the marina, while those located at the bottom of the property would be quieter in the evening hours.
The property is home to Spa Diane Barriere where you can book massages, facials, and other body treatments during your stay. There’s also a fitness room located just off the spa that is available to guests.
Hôtel Barrière Le Carl Gustaf/Kate Loweth
Meals are offered at Beefbar, the property’s steakhouse, and you’ll find the breakfast to be something to look forward to. There’s a lovely buffet full of meats, cheeses, fruit, and lots of French pastries like pain au chocolat, madeleines, and canelés. The a la carte menu includes lots of kid-friendly options like Nutella crêpes and waffles.
Come back for the dinner service and you’ll be treated to elevated comfort food with top-notch beef like Black Angus, Kobe, and Wagyu. Favorites from the menu when we visited were the miso caesar salad, KFC (Kobe beef tallow-fried chicken), and the Wagyu bolognese. The menu is full of small shareable plates with something for everyone.
Shell Beach & Shellona Restaurant
Shell Beach/Kate Loweth
Just a 5-minute walk down the hill from the resort is a gorgeous secluded beach and the Shellona Restaurant. Guest of Le Carl Gustaf can have lounge chairs booked here so you’ll have somewhere to relax and enjoy the sand. Pop up to the restaurant for a lunch of fresh seafood and Mediterranean specialties.
Visitors to Shell Beach can rent water toys like kayaks and Seabobs to explore the water offshore. Water shoes are highly recommended at Shell Beach as the shells covering the beach can be quite sharp.
Additional Activities in St. Barths
Families looking to see more of St. Barths while staying at Le Carl Gustaf can book activities with the on-site concierge like fishing, watersports, a catamaran day, and swimming in the island’s natural pools.
Just a 10-minute walk down the hill from Le Carl Gustaf is the town of Gustavia where you’ll find high-end shopping, gelato shops, restaurants, souvenir stores, a grocery store, and so much more. Stop by Le Select, the oldest bar in St. Barths, for a bit of relaxation while you are in town.
How to Get to Le Carl Gustaf
Le Carl Gustaf/Kate Loweth
You can arrive in St. Barths via a ferry from St. Martin or by flying into St. Barths airport via Winair or another carrier. This airport is quite small with a very short runway that only allows for small planes. You’ll need to transfer to a small plane at Juliana Airport (SXM) on the Dutch side of St. Maarten where you’ll take a 10-minute flight with a dramatic landing in St. Barths. On your way home, be sure to have the hotel print your boarding passes for you as paper passes make your transfer at Juliana Airport much quicker.
Hôtel Barrière Le Carl Gustaf would be ideal for families with elementary or teenaged kids as the proximity to town and Shell Beach make for easy jaunts off-property. Families with younger kids should note that there are many stairs between the lobby and the suites which could make things tricky for little ones.
Hôtel Barrière Le Carl Gustaf
Gustavia, St. Barthelemy Online: hotelsbarriere.com
Editor’s note: This trip was paid for by Hôtel Barrière Le Carl Gustaf but all opinions belong to the writer.
