ML Interest Tag: growing-up

Dear Husband: I Need More Help from You

By Celeste Erlach

Dear Husband,
I. need. more. help.

Last night was hard for you. I asked you to watch the baby so I could go to bed early. The baby was crying. Wailing, really. I could hear him from upstairs, and my stomach knotted from the sound, wondering if I should come down there and relieve you or just shut the door so I could get some desperately needed sleep. I chose the latter.

You came into the room 20 minutes later, with the baby still frantically crying. You placed the baby in the bassinet and gently pushed it just a few inches closer to my side of the bed, a clear gesture that you were done watching him.

I wanted to scream at you. I wanted to launch an epic fight that very moment. I had been watching the baby and the toddler all damn day. I was going to be waking up with the baby to feed him all damn night. The least you can do is hold him for a couple of hours in the evening so I can attempt to sleep.

Just a few hours of precious sleep. Is that too much to ask?

I know we both watched our parents fulfill the typical mother-father roles growing up. Both our mothers were the primary caretakers and our fathers were relatively hands-off. They were excellent dads, but they weren’t expected to spend a significant amount of time changing diapers, feeding, caring, and tending to the kids. Our mothers were the superwomen who maintained the family dynamics. Cooking, cleaning, and raising the children. Any help from dad was welcome but unexpected.

I see us falling into these family dynamics more and more each day. My responsibility to feed the family, keep the house clean, and take care of the kids is assumed, even as I return to work. I blame myself for most of it, too. I have set the precedent that I can do it. And in truth, I want to. No offense, but I’m not sure I want to know what a week’s worth of dinner would look like with you in charge.

I also see my friends and other moms doing it all, and doing it well. I know you see it, too. If they can manage it, and if our mothers did it so well for us, why can’t I?

I don’t know.

Maybe our friends are playing the part in public and secretly struggling. Maybe our moms suffered in silence for years and now, 30 years later, they simply don’t remember how hard it really was. Or maybe, and this is something I berate myself over every single day, I’m just not as qualified for the job as everyone else. And as much as I cringe just thinking it, I’m going to say it: I need more help.

Part of me feels like a failure for even asking. I mean, you do help. You are an amazing father, and you do a great job with the kids. And besides, this should come easy to me, right? Motherly instincts, no?

But I’m human and running on five hours of sleep and tired as hell. I need you.

In the morning, I need you to get our toddler ready so I can care for the baby and make everyone’s lunches and drink a cup of coffee. And no, getting the toddler ready does not mean plopping him in front of the TV. It means making sure he goes potty, giving him some breakfast, seeing if he wants water, and packing his bag for school.

At night, I need an hour to decompress in bed, knowing our toddler is asleep in his room and the baby is in your care. I know it’s hard to listen to the baby cry. Believe me, I know. But if I can watch and pacify the baby for the majority of the day, you can do it for an hour or two at night. Please. I need you.

On weekends, I need more breaks. Times when I can get out of the house by myself and feel like an individual. Even if it’s just a walk around the block or a trip to the grocery store. And some days when I’ve scheduled swim class and play dates, and it seems like I’ve got it all under control, I need you to offer to lend me a hand. Or suggest I go lie down during the kids’ naptime. Or start putting away the dishes without me suggesting it. I need you.

Lastly, I need to hear you’re grateful for all I do. I want to know that you notice the laundry is done and a nice dinner has been prepared. I want to know you appreciate that I breastfeed at all hours and pump when I’m at work when it would be easier for me to formula feed. I hope you notice that I never ask you to stay home from your networking events and sports activities. As the mom, it’s assumed I’ll be home all the time and always available to care for the kids while you’re out and I feed that assumption by, well, being home all the time.

I know it’s not how our parents did it, and I hate even asking. I wish I could do it all and make it look effortless. And I wish I didn’t need kudos for doing things most people expect from a mom. But I’m waving a white flag and admitting I’m only human. I’m telling you how much I need you, and if I keep going at the pace I’ve been on, I will break. And that would hurt you, the kids, and our family.

Because, let’s face it: You need me, too.

This post originally appeared on And What a Mom!

Hi! I’m Celeste. I consider myself a relatively new mom with two boys ages 4 and 2. Other titles I go by include: wife, health & wellness coach, marketing guru, avid reader (self-help books are my favorite), writer, travel/adventure seeker and fitness nut.

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Christian Slater Joins ‘Willow’ Cast, Disney+ Releases 1st Epic Trailer

by Karly Wood

Disney+ releases first full trailer for Willow

The magical world of George Lucas’ Willow is returning to the small screen! The epic fantasy adventure set in an age of swords, sorcery, myths and monsters is making a comeback in the form of a Disney+ and the plot will take place years after the time period of the original film. The first full trailer was released this week, along with the news that Christian Slater will be joining the cast. 

Willow introduces all-new characters to the enchanted realm of fairy queens and two-headed Eborsisk monsters and welcomes back its namesake hero, sorcerer Willow Ufgood, performed once again by the unmatchable Warwick Davis. And that’s not all. Executive producer Jonathan Kasdan has also confirmed to Yahoo! that Val Kilmer’s character, Madmartigan, will also be a part of the show. As for Slater, Variety reports, “Slater’s character is somehow tied to Madmartigan as a ‘friend,’ but more will be revealed later.”

Kasdan shares “Val’s a huge part of this, and the first conversation I had, when Warwick and I got the greenlight to do this, was with Val. We wanted his character to be a part of the story. We wanted him to be in the show. Because we were shooting during [the COVID-19 lockdowns], he wasn’t able to come to Wales and shoot with us. But he is in the show in a big way. And we’re pretty excited about it… Madmartigan lives on.”

There are not a lot of details about how Kilmer will be involved exactly in the Disney+ series (since he wasn’t involved in any of the actual filming) but fans are regardless excited to hear his role plays a part in the new generation. Warwick Davis reveals “Val’s spirit is very much with the series. [He and I] have been in touch since we made the movie, and we’re good friends and he’s a terrific guy…Madmartigan lives on.”

Willow’s plot follows follows Kit (Madmartigan and Sorsha’s daughter!) as she brings together a team to save their world. And yes, Joanne Whalley will return as queen Sorsha.

Tune in Nov. 30, 2022 when the series drops exclusively on Disney+.

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How to Raise Kids to Be Bilingual in Spanish and English

By Maria Fernandez

In an increasingly global world, having the ability to connect across languages and cultures is a beautiful thing!

There is a belief that being bilingual can only be achieved if a child begins to speak two languages simultaneously. I disagree. It’s a myth that you can’t be bilingual past a certain age. Although the ideal is to start learning languages in parallel, you can be bilingual by learning later as well.

I’m a Hispanic-American mother who was born and raised bilingual in Spanish and English here in the United States, while my parents are South American natives who have been in this country for over 30 years. Over the years, I’ve learned that you can learn a language and be bilingual if you study it in the right way.

Any child can be bilingual. And bilingual people not only have the advantage of knowing how to speak in another language, with the benefits that will accrue to the professional level but psychologically as well. Bilingual children are more creative, develop their brains differently, and have higher self-esteem.

How to Learn to Be Bilingual in Spanish and English

A safe bet is a total immersion in the language. Courses spoken in Spanish make it easier for children to get used to listening to another language, phonetics, and expressions and associating it with people who always speak to them in that language.

Children don’t have to resist speaking in English. It Is normal if they wish to communicate in the language with which they feel more comfortable. Don’t pressure them. If children feel pressured, they’ll end up blocking the language, making it harder for them to enjoy learning. A common mistake parents make is to press without realizing it. The typical “Tell me something in Spanish” when they pick you up after school can potentially have a negative effect.

It bears repeating: if a child feels pressured, they’ll end up blocking the language, and it will be more difficult for them to enjoy learning and therefore to learn.

On the other hand, the brain needs time to be able to jump into speaking another language. It’s like math. A child can’t learn to add without knowing anything about numbers first. Trying to get him or her to speak a new language on the first day of class is like forcing a kid to do math with three-figure sums while they are still learning the basics of single digits numbers.

Parents need to understand that learning a language takes a while. The first six months to a year of a child’s life are “the period of silence,” a necessary time during which the child can’t speak any language, but his brain is working. One day, all of a sudden, they’ll start building sentences correctly! I was so excited when this first happened, but I digress!

Simple Things Parents Can Do to Introduce Spanish to Their Kids

  • Watch TV and movies in Spanish: Many stations such as ABC, Netflix, and Disney have Spanish language options. Just change the language in the audio settings or switch to the dedicated Spanish language station. Movie night in Spanish can be fun for the whole family.
  • Find bilingual books: We can instill a love of reading in another language using bilingual books adapted to their age. Some libraries also have audiobooks that can be listened to at home, in the car, or before bedtime.
  • Find simple and fun activities to help reinforce learning: For example, if the school focuses on learning nouns for colors in Spanish, ask your child to call out the colors of buildings and signs on the way home.
  • Download apps in another language that children can use: Always make sure they are age appropriate of course.
  • Teach at Certain Times: Alternate between speaking English and Spanish on different days. These help keep the languages fresh and strengthen their ability to switch between languages once they grow older.
  • Teach by Specific Themes: Use a certain language to talk about something in particular. For example, if there’s a favorite Spanish language series that has now been adopted, always discuss it in Spanish.

Children’s minds can absorb a great deal of information while they are young, and it’s the best time to teach them a new language. My husband speaks five languages, and I’m always jealous of his ability to connect to so many people and cultures in so many parts of the world. During increasingly polarized and divisive times, sharing culture and language can help bring us all closer together.

Im a new Hispanic mother in the United States here to offer tips for new parents about the best products for their little ones.

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Earlier Bedtimes for Kids Is Better for Your Sanity, According to Study

by Shahrzad Warkentin

Ah, bedtime. You know, that magical moment when you collapse onto a kid-less couch and enjoy the silence, a beverage of your choice, and quality time with your partner (or by yourself). You’ve earned it. But is that bedtime early enough? According to this study, earlier bedtimes can improve parents’ mental health, so you might want to rethink that time.

Starting in 2004, thousands of families participated in a study conducted by Murdoch Children’s Research Institute in Melbourne, Australia, called Growing Up In Australia. While the research looked at many factors to study the impact of the immediate and broader environment on child development, tracking families over several years, one of the more interesting findings was that earlier bedtime for kids not only led to better health-related quality of life for kids, but it also improved the moms’ mental health.

Why? According to the study, kids who don’t meet the minimum sleep guidelines show symptoms of poor mental health (unhappiness and anxiety), tend to be late or absent more often and spend more time on homework. This can lead to stressed and tired kids which can lead to stressed and tired parents. And, even though sleep requirements decrease as kids age, many school-grade kids still weren’t meeting the guidelines. It showed that four out of five children thought they were getting enough sleep when they were not.

So what is that magic bedtime hour? It depends on the age of your child. According to the sleep chart above, if your six-year-old gets up at 6:30 or 7 am, their bedtime should fall between 7:30 and 8:30 pm! Putting kids to bed earlier might seem challenging, especially if you have after-school activities to balance, but there are ways to make it happen. If you have a first-timer heading to the classroom this year, this study on the effects of 10+ hours of sleep might convince you even more.

 

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Family Movie Night! Everyone Is Loving Pixar’s ‘Turning Red’

by Karly Wood

Growing up is no joke, and it’s even worse when you “poof” into a giant red panda when you get too excited. Disney and Pixar’s newest leading lady Mei Lin in Turning Red is already dealing with changes in her interests, relationships and body; now she’s got to navigate this newest quandary in a hilarious and relatable way.

The movie is streaming on Disney+ today. “Turning Red is as hilarious as it is poignant, and it features beautiful animation along with some terrific voice acting from a diverse cast,” writes The Ringer in its review. “Perhaps above all, though, the movie is fearless in its approach to focusing the story on a young Chinese Canadian girl and her three best friends as they transition into puberty, covering everything from periods to a sudden interest in boys.”

“The goal wasn’t just to stylize it for the sake of stylization,” producer Lindsay Collins told Wired. “Since our character is a 13-year-old Asian girl, it was important for us to put that lens on when we were designing the world.”

From Mei’s die-hard friends to her overbearing mom (voiced by Sandra Oh), Mei is about to set on a journey of finding herself in this hilarious flick from Disney and Pixar.

The best news? Turning Red is actually debuting in homes in lieu of the theaters on Mar. 11. Make sure you have Disney+ because it will be the sole spot to watch Mei and all her poof-tastic magic.

 

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Fantasy Meets West African Mythology in This Action-Packed Novel

by Marianella Orlando
Partner Content

Book lovers of all ages have experienced the power and charm that comes from getting lost in an amazing book. As you turn each page, you fall deeper and deeper into a new world–one second you’re on your couch and the next you’re inside a mystical realm.

That’s what happens to Cameron Battle and his two best friends in Cameron Battle and the Hidden Kingdoms. Written by debut author Jamar J. Perry, the novel follows the journey of the three pals who discover an ancestral book that magically transports them into a fabled country called Chidani. There they are faced with saving a hidden kingdom and its people who are in grave danger.

For readers aged 8 to 12, this blockbuster middle-grade fantasy unveils the trials and tribulations of a young boy who discovers his destined path to greatness. Drawing inspiration from West African and Igbo mythology, the read is action-packed and full of awe-inspiring adventures perfect for fans of Aru Shah and The End of Time and Tristan Strong Punches a Hole in the Sky.

Immerse yourself into the world of Chidani now!

The Story

Cameron Battle, a young boy who is being raised by his grandma after the disappearance of his parents, was always drawn to family heirlooms. Growing up, his most prized possession was The Book of Chidani, which featured the fictional West African country Chidani and its fabled kingdom of the Igbo people. The mystical book, which had been passed down from generation to generation, is the only object that helps Cameron feel a connection to his mom and dad after they went missing two years ago.

Unfortunately, Cameron’s grandmother keeps the Book locked away, but deep down he feels it continuously calling him–and he’s determined to find out why. One day, he and his best buds Zion and Aliyah decide to get a hold of the book and crack it open, which transports them to Chidani.

While the Book describes Chidani as a beautiful and wondrous place, the trio discovers its kingdom in extreme danger, as the Queen's sister wants to destroy the barrier between both worlds. The people of Chidani have long awaited for a special descendant to return and save them, but is Cameron ready for his destiny?

Help Cameron save the Chidani kingdom today!

What Makes Cameron Battle and the Hidden Kingdoms So Special

A former middle school teacher, Jamar J. Perry wrote Cameron Battle and the Hidden Kingdoms to represent and magnify stories of queer Black boys who often feel different–a theme that is important to him.

While Perry creates a mystical atmosphere with thrilling action, the novel, through well-researched lore, addresses key themes and events from American history, and also includes West African American mythology. Through Chidani’s fantasy world, Perry incorporates cultural elements into the narrative by drawing inspiration from the generational oral storytelling of his own family, who are descendants of enslaved West Africans.

The Reviews Say it All

“This book is amazing! I loved it from the first word! Y’all are not ready for this adventure!” ―Amber, Goodreads Reviewer

“All the mythology, the action, and the characters had me wanting more by the end. Jamar's writing is beautiful, and he just has a way of bringing you into the story.” ―George Jreije, Goodreads Reviewer

“Cameron Battle and the Hidden Kingdoms is a truly special book – I can’t wait for young readers to explore Chidani and discover just how extraordinary and magical they are!” ―Isabella Ogbolumani, bookseller at Buffalo Street Books

 

Join your kids in Perry’s fantasy realm in Cameron Battle and the Hidden Kingdoms–you won’t regret adding it to their bookshelves!

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Want to Raise an Empathetic Child? Travel May Be the Answer

by Karly Wood

If your parents took you on tons of trips growing up, you likely love to travel now says a new study.

Conducted by OnePoll on behalf of Little Passports, the study surveyed 2,000 respondents and their thoughts on excitement about travel, learning about the world and the importance of travel as it relates to empathy.

photo: Courtesy of SWNS 

So what exactly did the survey reveal?

  • 23% of respondents remember feeling excited about traveling as kids
  • 55% said expanding their horizons as a child serves as a motivator to travel now
  • 76% said they enjoyed learning about the world as a child
  • 73% believe traveling with kids is one the best ways to learn about the world
  • 80% think it’s important for children to be exposed to different cultures at a young age
  • 81% agree that it’s important than ever to teach young children empathy towards others

Whether you’re a family full of wanderlusters or more of a homebody, the value of travel extends to everyone. With that in mind, where’s your next vacation taking you?

––Karly Wood

Feature photo: iStock 

 

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Knock-Knock: 15 Jokes Atlanta Kids Will Totally Get

by Tinybeans Team

No one will deny that growing up in Atlanta has its perks—and quirks. From a heat wave that won’t stop to being the birthplace of some of the world’s biggest brands, there are some things that Atlanta kids especially can giggle at. Keep reading for our favorite jokes that Atlien kids will really love.

Photo: White77 via Pixabay

Q: What did the icy road say to the car?
A: “Want to go for a spin?”

Q: What’s a snowman’s favorite drink?
A: Iced tea.

Q: What do toads drink on a hot summer days?
A: Ice cold Croak-o-cola, of course!

Q: Why was the squirrel late for work?
A: Traffic was NUTS.

Q: How many Houston Astros does it take to change a tire?
A: One, unless it’s a blowout, in which case they all show up

Q: Did you hear the joke about the peach?
A: It was pit-iful.

Q: Did you hear about the guy who got hit in the head with a can of Coke?
A: He was lucky it was a soft drink.

Q: What did the bee do when it was hot?
A: Took off his yellow jacket.

Photo: iStock

Q: Which dog breed chases anything that’s red?
A: A bull dog!

Q: What kind of music does a kangaroo listen to?
A: Hip-hop!

Q: What did the pig say on the really hot day?
A: I’m bacon.

Q: What do you say when your aquarium breaks and everything is gone?
A: I have no porpoise anymore.

Q: What do you call a Georgia Bulldog football player with a championship ring?
A: A thief!

Q: What do you say when your homework flies away?
A: It’s gone with the wind.

Q: The girl at the Delta Airlines check-in desk said “Window or Aisle?”
A: I replied “Window or you’ll what?”

Featured image by iStock.

—Shelley Massey

 

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Packers’ Aaron Jones Surprises Childhood Cancer Hero

by Marianella Orlando
Partner Content

The Green Bay Packers game against the Chicago Bears looked a lot brighter this NFL season. On Sunday, Dec. 12, Packers’ running back Aaron Jones wore custom-designed cleats, in partnership with the Northwestern Mutual Foundation, to support children battling childhood cancer.

The special NFL program, “My Cause, My Cleats”, raises awareness and funding for causes that are near and dear to players’ hearts. Participating athletes sport a custom cleat design that represents their passions beyond the field on game day, then auction off the cleats at the NFL auction to raise proceeds for their selected charity.

Earlier this year, kids with cancer and their family members submitted their original hand-crafted designs for Aaron’s cleats, from which he personally selected his favorite. This year marks Aaron’s second time partnering with the Northwestern Mutual Foundation for the “My Cause, My Cleats” campaign to support and raise awareness for childhood cancer.

On November 13, Ashley Herman of Marshfield, Wis. was selected as the program’s winner. The 18-year-old cancer hero was invited to visit Lambeau Field in Green Bay with her mom, dad, brother and boyfriend, where Aaron surprised her with the news that he selected her design for his cleats.

“You’re definitely strong and resilient. Never stop fighting,” Aaron shared on a virtual call. “I want you to know that I’m in your corner forever.”

Ashley was surprised and delighted to speak with Aaron about her design and thought process behind the artwork. When selecting her design, Aaron was particularly drawn to the phrase “be the change” on the cleats—a phrase that stuck with Ashley throughout her treatment. “All it takes is one person,” Aaron told Ashley. “And now when I wear those cleats, everyone will see be the change.”

To top off the victory, Ashley was not only gifted a pair of her own custom cleats but also learned she and her family would attend the Packers’ game on December 12 to see her design in action.

Cleats designed by childhood cancer heroes seem to bring a little bit of magic to Aaron’s game. He scored back-to-back touchdowns in Ashley’s cleats to help boost the Packers’ to a 45-30 victory over the Chicago Bears, while, last year, he ran for his longest career touchdown in Ethan Haley’s cleats.

Finding Hope and Courage Through Art

Both art and sports played a large role in Ashley’s everyday life growing up. When she wasn’t in school, she would spend her time painting or sketching or playing volleyball for Columbus High School.

This past winter, however, Ashley was faced with news that would change her life. On Jan. 27, 2021, the Wisconsin native was diagnosed with Stage 2 Hodgkin’s Lymphoma—cancer that affects specialized white blood cells within the body’s immune system, which hinders it from defending against bacteria, parasites, or viruses.

Despite receiving this startling news, Ashley’s perpetual positive attitude kicked in and her first words to her doctors and families were, “okay, what do we do next.” Today, her cancer is in remission.

For Ashley, “My Cause, My Cleats” campaign means more than just winning. She plans to continue to share her story with others battling cancer to help them keep pushing forward and to encourage them to share their own experiences.

Aaron also hopes his participation with the Northwestern Mutual Foundation will inspire others to make a difference. The Foundation, which launched its Childhood Cancer Program in 2012, has worked vigorously to find better treatments and cures, provide family and patient support and offer aid to children who struggle with the long-term effects of treatment. Since its inception, the foundation has contributed over $35 million towards its mission and also funded more than 455,000 hours of research.

In 2022, Northwestern Mutual Foundation’s Childhood Cancer Program is celebrating its ten-year anniversary by continuing to create moments of joy and drive connections amongst those affected by childhood cancer. Learn more about the Northwestern Mutual Foundation’s Childhood Cancer Program here.

If you’d like to hear more about Ashley’s story, watch it now!

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Interview with a Grandparent: 16 Questions to Ask

by Erin Feher

There are a lot of things we know about our grandparents: They give amazing hugs, rarely say no to requests for ice cream and they are masters at reading stories. But our grandparents have so much more to tell us! Suggest a list of simple and fun questions for your child to ask their grandparent, and they will not only get an idea of what it was like to be a kid 60-some years ago, but they will gain some wisdom on the importance of family, friends and living a great long life!

photo: iStock

  1. Who was your best friend when you were a kid and what did you like to do together?
  2. Tell me about where you grew up.
  3. What was your favorite food growing up?
  4. Tell me about the day we first met each other.
  5. Did you have a favorite toy when you were my age?
  6. Tell me about the house and neighborhood where you grew up.
  7. What was your grandma like?
  8. What was your grandpa like?
  9. What was your favorite age to be?
  10. What’s the oldest memory you have?
  11. What are some silly things my mom or dad did when they were my age?
  12. Did you have a nickname as a kid?
  13. Where’s your favorite place you’ve ever traveled?
  14. What’s your favorite holiday tradition?
  15. What’s your favorite family recipe?
  16. What’s the best thing about being a grandparent?

—Erin Feher

 

Interview with a Grandparent_ 10 Questions to Ask

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