We’re not going to pretend this is anything but pure, unadulterated, porn-level, bordering on the irresponsible sugar consumption. This is not “breakfast”; it is a dessert (and activity) worthy of the designation “special treat.” That said: there’s this totally cool, admittedly ridiculous cereal bar in a high-concept menswear store that you owe it to your kids to visit. (You will also enjoy it.)

photo: KITH Treats

Excuse me: A what?
Yes! A cereal bar. As in: you saddle up to a counter in the front of the newly-redesigned and reopened super groovy, somewhat absurd KITH apparel store, review the LED-screen display of a surprisingly robust selection of breakfast cereals and order up a single, double or triple serving of the — mostly — sweet stuff. (Corn Flakes, Wheaties and Cheerios are among the choices, but if you or your kids want those, we suggest heading to your local supermarket instead.)

Go On
The 150-square-foot sweets dispensary (officially known as KITH Treats) is located at the front of the massive, high-end, sneaker and apparel retailer, and visitors can even utilize a small counter with bar stools to consume their purchases on site. The store itself, designed in cooperation with the firm Snarkitecture is a super-slick, gleaming, high concept urban retail experience, with an archive of Kith creator/designer Ronnie Fieg’s previous footwear collaborations with various brands displayed on backlit glass shelves, custom Carrera white herringbone marble floors and a sculpture of 750 cast Air Jordan II sneakers suspended from the ceiling.

Ok, But What About the Cereal?
Customers can choose from 24 different flavors of cereal and have the option of ordering one to three servings of cereal, with orders of two or more being served in collectible, custom-designed mini shoeboxes. (Brands and individuals will collaborate on the design of the boxes, with new designs rolled out every six weeks. The inaugural box featured a design from Nike under the creative direction of Andre Agassi in anticipation of the U.S. Open.)

A small sample of the cereal selection includes Apple Jacks, Cap’n Crunch, Cinnamon Toast Crunch, Cocoa Puffs, Fruit Loops, Fruity Pebbles, Lucky Charms, Rice Krispies and Special K. In what some might describe as “gilding the lily” or just plain overkill,  for 75 cents each you can then add toppings such as brownie or cheesecake bites, cookie dough, cotton candy, crushed Oreos, marshmallow charms, Kit Kat, Snickers Bar and s’mores crunch crumble. (It should be noted that Fieg readily admits that he was not allowed sugary cereals growing up and that he’d sneak them at friends’ houses after school. Food for thought.)

If you and the kids are feeling extra adventurous, you can try one of the Kith Treats “Specials”, which are custom blends of various cereals created for the bar by friends of the brand such as Action Bronson, Don C and Maxwell Osborne. (Feig’s concoction, “The Fiegster,” for example, is a mix of Frosted Flakes, Cocoa Puffs, Mini Marshmallows, Crushed Oreos and Whole Milk.) All orders come with the customer’s choice of milk (whole, skim, almond, hemp or chocolate) in a KITH-branded glass bottle, and cereal comes with a KITH-branded spoon-straw.

photo: KITH Treats

But Wait, There’s More
If cereal is not your family’s thing you can still find a way to overindulge at KITH. The cereal bar also offers “The Ice Cream Cereal Swirl”, which is essentially vanilla ice cream infused with the cereal of your choice and one topping. (We opted for Cap’n Crunch ice cream with Crunch Bar bits. It was horrible. Kidding! — it was sensational.)

In one nod to sanity, KITH Treats does sell La Colombe Coffee, iced coffee, tea and hot chocolate, and the store even has a walk-up window where you can get your cereal and more to go.

So How Much Will All of This Madness Set Me Back?
The Build Your Box is $6 for up two cereals and $7 for three; the Ice Cream Swirl is $5.50

An Important Parent FYI
Believe it or not, the elementary set is not KITH’s target market, and the store features a booming, hip-hop heavy soundtrack that can at times be liberal with the profanities. (At least that was the case when we stopped by. You’ve been warned.)

KITH Treats
233 Flatbush Avenue
Prospect Heights
347-889-6114
Online: http://kithnyc.com

Have you visited KITH Treats? What did you think? Tell us in the comments below!

—Mimi O’Connor