President’s Day is a National Holiday that celebrates both George Washington and Abraham Lincoln. The official day is celebrated on the third Monday of February. From where he was born to how much education he had, read on for a few more fun facts about George Washington.

1. He was born on Feb. 22, 1732, at Pope’s Creek, Virginia

2. His family arrived in America in 1657 on a ship called the Sea Horse of London.

3. He was an excellent dancer.

4. He did throw a silver dollar across the Potomac River. The Potomac is over a mile wide, and silver dollars did not exist then. His grandson once said that George threw a piece of slate across the Rappahannock River in Fredericksburg, which is narrower.

5. He had no middle name.

6. The cherry tree story is just that: a story. The tale is that as a little boy, Washington chopped down a cherry tree in his family’s yard and told his father the truth even though it meant punishment. This story was fabricated by Mason Locke Weems, a bookseller who wrote the first biography about Washington (after George died in 1799).

7. George Washington had bad teeth and was afflicted with many dental diseases and pain, but his teeth weren’t wooden.

8. Washington’s white hair was not a wig, although he did powder his hair for the white appearance. Click here for a tutorial on how to rock the style.

9. He only had a grade-school level education.

10. George Washington never had any biological children.

11. A fun fact about George Washington is that he was the United States’ first mule breeder.

12. He was the first person to sign the Constitution of the United States of America.

13. His signature hairstyle was real hair. It looked white because he powdered it.

 

 

Little ones can be tricky to buy for. Well, unless you have our guide to gifts for toddlers

They’re not babies, and they’re not quite little kids. Our 18-24 month littles are at a special age where they’re exploring everything, eager to learn, and ready for anything. So, if you’re having trouble coming up with presents for them, you’re not alone. We’ve rounded up some of the best gifts for toddlers this season to make your job as Santa much easier.

There are puzzles, sweet stuffies, and even enchanted silk scarves. Of course, there are also the classics like a play barn, a soft baby doll, their first tea set, and Mickey even makes an appearance. Combining well-known characters and some new friends, we made sure there’s something for every kiddo on our list. We’re pretty sure you won’t have to look further than this list to create a magical holiday. Read on for our picks for gifts for toddlers.

LeapFrog Build-a-Waffle Learning Set

LeapFrog

Their favorite breakfast will easily become their new favorite toy that teaches them colors, numbers, and following directions.

LeapFrog Build-a-Waffle Learning Set ($19.99)—Buy Here!

Playmobil Mickey & Minnie's Cloud Home

Playmobil

Mickey and Minnie spend their days playing on rainbows and riding on clouds in this adorable set.

Playmobil Mickey & Minnie's Cloud Home ($49.99)—Buy Here!

Spelling with 'Sesame Street' Zippy

Little Sleepies

Their favorite friends are all cozying up to their bedtime stories on these absolutely darling pajamas. They're created with Little Sleepies' famous Lunaluxe Bamboo.

Spelling with Sesame Street Zippy ($38.00)—Buy Here!

Learning Resources Deluxe Market Set

Learning Resources

Playing shop, identifying different foods, counting—there's so much to learn with this market set.

Learning Resources Deluxe Market Set ($34.99)—Buy Here!

CoComelon Peek-a-Boo JJ Plush

Target

JJ's 17 sounds and phrases add to the peek-a-boo fun.

CoComelon Peek-a-Boo JJ Plush ($24.99)—Buy Here!

Olli Ella Strolley

Mainsonette

It's a stroller and a trolley. Made of handwoven rattan, little ones just need to flip the lid and they can go from strolling their stuffed animals around to doing the shopping.

Olli Ella Strolley ($159.00)—Buy Here!

Mud Pie Tea Set

Mud Pie

This sweet 18 piece tea set made from recycled wheat straw that's perfect for the beach, the tub, or sandbox. 

Mud Pie Tea Set ($22.99)—Buy Here!

Dozy Dinkums Pip Doll

Olli Ella

It's your baby's first baby—squishy and soft enough for playing and cuddling. We're partial to Pip, but there are lots of Dozy Dinkums to choose from.

Dozy Dinkums Pip Doll ($50.00)—Buy Here!

Battat Classic Barn Playset

Battat

Complete with farmer, animals, and carry handle, they can tote this barn set anywhere.

Battat Classic Barn Playset ($24.99)—Buy Here!

Stapelstein Stepping Stones

Stapelstein

Stapelstein Stepping Stones are the original play 'stones'. They're soft, stackable, sturdy, and can be used in a ton of imaginary ways to get your little one's creativity flowing (plus, they're really convenient to use as seats, stools, or steps). Available in Original Rainbow or Pastel.

Stapelstein Stepping Stones ($189.00)—Buy Here!

LEGO DUPLO My First Number Train

Amazon

This starter DUPLO set pulls off a holiday gifting hat trick: It's a building toy, a vehicle (and we all know how much toddlers love pushing around anything on wheels), and it helps introduce them to numbers. 

DUPLO My First Number Train ($16.00)—Buy Here!

5-Star Little Climber by Lily & River

Etsy

The 5-Star Little Climber enhances your kiddo's motor skill development, balance control, creativity, and grows with them up to age 5.

5-Star Little Climber by Lily & River ($187.46)—Buy Here!

'"Slowly, Slowly, Slowly" Said the Sloth' by Eric Carle

Amazon

In the style that only Eric Clare can create, this book teaches kiddos to take their time.

"Slowly, Slowly, Slowly" Said the Sloth by Eric Carle ($8.49)—Buy Here!

Sarah's Silks Enchanted Mini Playsilks

Sarah's Silks

Sarah's Silks is all about open-ended play. Tactile toddlers will love the lightweight, floaty fabrication that lets them create and play for hours. These Mini Playsilks grow with them, long after they're done playing.

Sarah's Silks Enchanted Mini Playsilks ($14.00)—Buy Here!

Silicone Play Kitchen Set

the Cadenlane slicone play kitchen set in garden is one of the best gifts for toddlers in 2023
Caden Lane

The best thing about silicone toys? They're dishwasher-safe and quiet! We love a great kitchen set for open-ended imaginative play, especially when you're trying to get stuff done in the kitchen and your mini-me wants to join in.

Caden Lane Silicone Play Kitchen Set in Garden ($38.00)—Buy Here!

Flybar Play-Doh Ride-On Activity School Bus

Target

The Play-Doh Ride-On Activity School Bus includes 3 cans of Play-Doh, 10 numbers stamps, 6 shape cutters, and 1 roller. Just lift up the ride-on seat to reveal the play set.

Flybar Play-Doh Ride-On Activity School Bus ($49.99)—Buy Here!

Glo Pals Sensory Play Jar

Glo Pals

Just add water and watch the customizable and interactive sensory jar come to life.

Glo Pals Sensory Play Jar ($20.00)—Buy Here!

Cuddle + Kind Baby Koala

Odin Parker

This baby koala is so precious. Made from natural Peruvian cotton yarn, not only is it soft and collectible; it's heirloom-quality, so they'll have something to treasure for years.

Cuddle + Kind Baby Koala ($35.00)—Buy Here!

Little Tikes Rainbow Remix Music Player

Little Tikes

Your little one will love this cute vintage-style music player, complete with rainbow light show, music, and color call-outs (not to mention headphones).

Little Tikes Rainbow Remix Music Player ($14.99)—Buy Here!

Jumlys Montessori Puzzle

Jumlys

Ready to introduce colors and shapes? This 12-piece wooden peg puzzle is the perfect place to start.

Jumlys Montessori Puzzle ($14.99)—Buy Here!

Bricklettes Starter Set

Bricklettes

Remember those old-school bright cardboard bricks? They got an update with Bricklettes. They fit into your home's decor and the starter set of 10 is great for kiddos who have just started stacking.

Bricklettes Starter Set ($54.99)—Buy Here!

Woodpecker Game

Kidspace Museum Store

Have a toddler who's into bashing all the things? This hammer game is not only really darling, it's also ideal for active minis.

Woodpecker Game ($45.00)—Buy Here!

Green Toys Ferry Boat

Target

We love that this ferry boat is made of recycled milk jugs, and it's so easy to clean. It can even go in the dishwasher.

Green Toys Ferry Boat ($21.99)—Buy Here!

Matching Eggs 12pc Set

Coogam

How adorable is this set of color and shape matching eggs? The little egg holder is a winner, too.

Matching Eggs 12pc Set ($17.99)—Buy Here!

Wooden Baby Birdi Puzzle and Stacking Toy

Bella Luna Toys

This darling little learning toy is a great first puzzle, plus it's a lovely addition to nursery/bedroom decor.

Wooden Baby Birdi Puzzle and Stacking Toy ($16.00)—Buy Here!

 

All the products listed are independently & personally selected by our shopping editors.

If you buy something from the links in this article, we may earn affiliate commission or compensation. Prices and availability reflect the time of publication.

All images courtesy of retailers.

Your gender-neutral nursery will be anything but boring

Gender-neutral baby gear, clothes, and accessories have become very accessible, and nurseries are no exception. Whether you’re going the neutral route because you’re skipping the ‘gender reveal‘, you want to be able to plan for hand-me-downs for future babies, or just because you like the hues, there are lots of options for a gender-neutral nursery. It can be a bit of a challenge to keep things neutral and cohesive. These decorating options are easy to mix and match, plus, it’s all absolutely adorable. Oh, and boho-loving moms? There are a ton of earthy colors in this collection that you’ll love. You can’t go wrong with these.

Pick bold patterns or muted prints, or pair a little of both for a unique and darling room your babe will be able to grow into. Another major plus to neutral spaces, right? Of course, you’ll want to add baby and family photos, plus their own touches as their personalities start to show. Here are a few of our favorite choices.

Passport 20" Kids Pendant Ceiling Light by Leanne Ford

Crate & Barrel

This fun ceiling light is an adorable addition to any kiddo's room. Who wouldn't want a hot air balloon floating through their space? We know we do.

Passport 20" Kids Pendant Ceiling Light by Leanne Ford ($199.00)—Buy Here!

The Moon's Birthday Crib Sheets

Rookie Humans

100% cotton sateen, this illustrated crib sheet from Rookie Humans is like creating a storybook in their nursery. If the moon isn't quite your style, check out their full collection of stunning crib sheets, too.

The Moon's Birthday Crib Sheets ($42.00)—Buy Here!

Birch 3-Tier Shelf

Pottery Barn Kids

A little rustic and a lot cute, this woodsy, whimsical shelf holds their favorite toys, keepsakes, books, or baby supplies to keep them within reach. 

Birch 3-Tier Shelf ($189.00)—Buy Here!

Acrylic & Metallic Nursery Storage

West Elm Kids

Aside from being so cool-looking, clear storage helps you find what you're looking for fast and fits into any decor (including your gender-neutral nursery) because, again, clear.

Acrylic & Metallic Nursery Storage ($41.65)—Buy Here!

Goodnight Moon 3-Piece Celestial Nursery Crib Bedding Set

Lambs & Ivy

This sweet crib bedding set includes a quilt, fitted crib sheet, and a crib skirt. "You are my sun my moon and all of my stars" is embroidered on the soft moon. That covers every parents' sentiment, doesn't it?

Goodnight Moon 3-Piece Celestial Nursery Crib Bedding Set ($159.99)—Buy Here!

Wood & Felt Mobile

Amazon

Each piece of this charming mobile is made of environmentally-friendly materials, including the lightweight felt pom poms. 

Wood & Felt Mobile ($22.98)—Buy Here!

Boho Two-Toned Blackout Curtain

Society6

We have a feeling you're going to want blackout curtains in the nursery. Afterall, between being able to darken the whole room on your terms, and keeping the temperature regulated, there's a good chance your little one will sleep better with them.

Boho Two-Toned Blackout Curtain ($62.00+)—Buy Here!

'Welcome to My Crib' Wooden Sign

Etsy

A super cute decorative nursery sign that's laser cut and engraved from birch and white eucalyptus wood. They're available in 3 different sizes, with 12 different frame finishes to choose from.'

'Welcome to My Crib' Wooden Sign ($18.00+)—Buy Here!

Giraffe Plush Head Wall Decor

Target

Handmade details, cotton fleece, and yarn combine to create an artisanal feel that's totally gender-neutral, too. Stick with the giraffe, or add the antelope and lion, too.

Giraffe Plush Head Wall Decor ($34.99)—Buy Here!

Smokey the Owl Pendulum Clock

Birch Robot

We're actually very in love with all the clocks from Birch Lane, but Smokey the Owl is an easy fave. Made from baltic birch plywood that's ethically sourced & printed with non-toxic, water-based inks, too.

Smokey the Owl Pendulum Clock ($99.00)—Buy Here!

2

Ava Neutral Wallpaper

WallpaperMural.com

WallpaperMural.com makes absolutely beautiful wallpaper, and the Ava Neutral design warms up any nursery or kids room. It's comfy, cozy, and has just the right about of whimsy, too. That's right, we said whimsy.

Ava Neutral Wallpaper ($34.64/m sq.+)—Buy Here!

Modern Teepee Nursery Prints

Nellie Jade

The soft colors with a little extra punch make these prints a great way to add neutral hues to your little one's gender-neutral nursery. (Note: these are a digital download.)

Modern Teepee Nursery Prints ($12.95)—Buy Here!

Grey Chenille Blanket

Mud Pie

A soft chenille blanket with darling detail in a neutral hue is exactly what a nursery needs.

Grey Chenille Blanket ($27.92)—Buy Here!

Muslin Organic Cotton & Bamboo Receiving Blankets

Fern & Avery

This set of 3 receiving blankets in the 'Forest Theme' palette is not only pretty, it's hard to go wrong with soft and breathable organic cotton and bamboo fabrication. Plus, you can never have enough receiving blankets, right?

Muslin Organic Cotton & Bamboo Receiving Blankets ($24.99)—Buy Here!

Macrame-Inspired Play Mat

Little Dove

From the cactus to the alpaca, this little play mat is not only a fun focal point, it'll get a ton of use, too.

Macrame-Inspired Play Mat ($49.99)—Buy Here!

Easysleep White Noise Machine

Easysleep

This sound machine has 30 looping white noise sounds and 12 nightlight colors, and although it comes in black and white, this wood finish makes it part of the decor.

Easysleep White Noise Machine ($24.99)—Buy Here!

Stuffed Animal Storage Hammock

Dahey

Babies aren't always terribly interested in stuffed animals until they're a bit older, but we know you already have quite the collection. Store them in style with this macrame storage hammock, featuring a string of LED lights for a soft glow in a gender-neutral nursery.

Stuffed Animal Storage Hammock ($13.99)—Buy Here!

Teddy Upholstered Glider Rocking Chair

NIOIIKIT

A chair style that comes in multiple colors, the soft and fuzzy teddy upholstered options have won our hearts, especially for a nursery.

Teddy Upholstered Glider Rocking Chair ($158.98)—Buy Here!

 

 

All the products listed are independently & personally selected by our shopping editors.

If you buy something from the links in this article, we may earn affiliate commission or compensation. Prices and availability reflect the time of publication.

All images courtesy of retailers.

Have you ever played “Who’s Got the Button?”

If you have a box of random buttons, take it out because they’re your key to fun today. We’ve come up with a few engaging button crafts and ways to play with buttons perfect for toddlers and preschool kids. Each one will fine-tune their observation skills and help them think outside of the box. Bonus points for making gifts that the kids can give away, too.

Note: Make sure your child is old enough to know not to put buttons in their mouth. 

Button Sorting

This isn’t a trick to getting your kids to play Cinderella. Button sorting is actually a great way to teach your colors how to match by colors, shapes, or numbers (how many holes does the button have). Don’t forget to get a box with separate compartments so that you can keep everything organized.

Button Stacking Game

Take a page out of A Minute to Win It game and see how high you can stack those buttons! Let the kids practice and get a feel for stacking first before introducing them to concepts like thinking strategically (e.g. biggest buttons at the bottom). This game is also a great way to practice fine motor skills, especially if you have a box of tiny buttons.

Button Bookmarks

A little hot glue, a little button, a paper clip, and Voila! A little bookmark. It’s a craft that’s easy as one-two-three, all you need is a little patience. They make great trinkets, so as your kids hold their bookmarks together, waiting for the hot glue to dry, ask them to whom they want to gift a bookmark. Note: your crafter will need assistance with the glue gun.

Button Art

The supplies you’ll need for this button craft include a canvas, paint, glue, buttons, and endless imagination. A brown button can be the round body of a horse while a tiny yellow button becomes a bright flower of an outdoors scene. Group a bunch of green buttons together and style a Seuss-esque tree. Think outside of the button!

Who’s Got the Button?

Reign in those observation skills in this classic game. All you need is one button and it’s great if you’re having a party of kids over that day. It’s a bit like Duck, Duck, Goose but without the chasing. Have the kids (except one) get in a circle with their hands behind their backs. Then give the outlying kid the one button and have him or her walk around the circle. He or she should discreetly leave the button in someone’s palm and loop it around a few times before getting in the middle and chanting, “Button, button, who’s got the button?” Everyone will then take turns to guess and whoever guesses correctly gets to be the next person to hide the button!

Related: 27 Adorable Toddler Crafts You Can Pull Out Anytime

Ask Alexa to pump up the holiday spirit and amuse your family using these fun Amazon Alexa Christmas skills

Want to keep the kids happy and entertained for the rest of the season? Let Alexa delight the children like your own personal holiday elf! All you have to do is ask. We’ve rounded up a few awesome Alexa Christmas skills to make your days and nights with the kids merry and bright—and hopefully out of your hair for a few minutes while “Santa” finishes wrapping all those gifts.

“Alexa, talk to Santa Claus.”

Need some help filling your playlist with Christmas songs? Using the iHeartRadio skill, iHeart Santa, kids can answer a series of questions posed by Santa to have a custom-curated list of holiday songs created for them.

“Alexa, play Christmas music.”

Nothing helps lift your spirits like some jolly Christmas tunes. Just say the word and Alexa will cue up your favorite songs of the season through Amazon Music. Even if you don’t happen to be a Prime Member, you can just enable the Christmas Radio skill and ask Alexa to play it. Bonus tip: ask Alexa to sing you a Christmas carol and the kids will love the response.

"Alexa, open Christmas Song Quiz."

Are you a Christmas Carol master? Step right up and test your knowledge. Alexa will read you lines from Christmas songs and ask you to guess the song titles, or ask you to finish the line. How many can you guess?

“Alexa, ask Christmas Countdown how long until Santa comes.”

If your excited tots wake up each morning in December wondering if Christmas has finally arrived, Alexa can help them keep track with the Christmas Countdown skill.

"Alexa, turn the Christmas tree lights on.”

Whether you want to be able to turn your Christmas lights on and off remotely or you’re hoping to light your home up like you're in the Great Christmas Light Fight, Alexa can help. Plug any light strand into an Alexa-compatible smart outlet and you can control them using your voice. If you want to get a little fancier, you can upgrade to Alexa-compatible smart Christmas lights that can be programmed with specific effects.

Related: Alexa, Shhh! The Baby’s Sleeping

little girls drawing Christmas pictures
iStock

“Alexa, ask Christmas Kindness for an idea.”

Want an easy way to help your kids understand the importance of giving and helping others? Alexa can help with the Christmas Kindness skill. When you enable the skill Alexa will prompt you with suggestions on random acts of kindness.

With so many ways to engage in holiday festivities with Alexa, this home assistant may as well be your very own "keep the kiddos busy" advent calendar for the whole month of December!

“Alexa, play Santa Claus.”

Want a direct line to the big man? Alexa has the hook-up. Kids can say "Alexa, ask Santa Claus if I'm naughty or nice" to find out which list they’ve made after being quizzed on a series of questions on their behavior.

“Alexa, start The Night Before Christmas.”

Get the kids ready for bed and those sugar plum visions with the classic tale of how Santa and his reindeer arrive. Alexa also has some other holiday stories up her sleeve.

“Alexa, play Christmas sounds.”

If you need a break from "Rudolph" and "Jingle Bells" but still want to fill your home with the sounds of the season, you can enable the Christmas sounds skill and Alexa will spread the holiday cheer with sounds like bells ringing and horse hooves clomping.

“Alexa, where's Santa?”

Speaking of Christmas Eve, if you want to get those kids off to bed so you can enjoy some quiet time and a glass of wine, convince them that Santa is on his way by enabling the NORAD Tracks Santa skill.

"Alexa, is Santa real?”

Don't worry, Alexa won't spoil all the Christmas magic. If anything, the home assistant has you covered by answering all those difficult questions you might not be ready to answer this year. Some other challenging Christmas questions Alexa can answer include “How old is Santa Claus?” and “What is the true meaning of Christmas?”

“Alexa, tell me some Christmas jokes.”

Everyone loves a good old cheesy joke, especially about Christmas. There are lots of great Christmas jokes and riddles out there and Alexa knows plenty of them. See how much Alexa can make you laugh!

Related: Who Ya’ Gonna Call? Santa Claus! Here’s How!

Additional reporting by Taylor Clifton

Because you know you need some clean jokes for the kiddos!

If you’ve spent any time scrolling through our big list of jokes for kids you might have noticed that many of them are sent into our editor directly from hilarious kids themselves. So we’ve rounded them up into one hysterically funny and adorable collection. Read on for the best silly, sweet, totally clean jokes for kids (by kids!).

iStock

1. What do you call Chewbacca with cookies in its fur?

A chocolate-chip Wookie. 

—Jake

 

2. What is a computer's favorite snack?

Computer chips!!

—reader Rebecca K.

3. What day of the week are most twins born on?

Twos-day! 

(submitted by reader Scooter T.!) 

4. What did one horse say to the other horse?

Neigh!

What did the kid say to the horse?

Hey! 

What did the mane say to the horse?

Nothing, you silly, a mane can't talk. 

—Henrik, age 8 

5. What do you call a fly with no wings?

A walk. 

—Jasper L., young reader submitted!

 

Kadres via Pixabay

6. Why did the police play baseball?

He wanted to get a catch!

—Yuna, age 8
 
 

7. What did the microwave say to the other microwave?

Is it just me? Or is it really hot in here?

—Yuna, age 8
 
 

8. What does a cow love to watch? 

A Moo-sical!

—Yuna, age 8
 

9. What does a cow love to watch?

A moo-vie!

—Yuna, age 8
 

10. What is a pirate's favorite movie?

The Avengrrrs!

—Yuna, age 8
 
 

11. What is a frog's favorite year?

Leap year!

—Yuna, age 8

12. Why was the snow yellow?

Because Elsa let it go!

—Kaylee

13. What do you call an ant who fights crime?

A vigilanty! 

—Joe L, age 10 

dad jokes for kids
Stormy All via Unsplash

14. How do they answer the phone at the paint store?

Yellow!

—Lily, age 6

15. Why did Humpty Dumpty have a great fall?

To make up for his miserable summer.

—reader submitted by Kaci Y.

16. What do you call two monkeys that share an Amazon account?

Primemates!

—Merci P., aged 10

17. What snack should you make for the Snowman Holiday Party?

Ice Krispy Treats

—Emmerson H., age 13

18. Why do scissors always win a race?

Because they take a shortcut!

—Foster, age 5

19. How do you stop a bull from charging? 

You unplug it!
 

—Jadyn, Age 12

iStock

20. What’s yellow and looks like a pineapple?

A lemon with a new haircut. 

—submitted (and created) by Rafael L. 

21. What do you call a deer with no eyes?

"No eye-deer." 

—also sent in by young Raffy 
 

22. What word starts with the letter t, ends with the letter t, and has t in it?

A teapot!

—young reader Collin S.

23. It took 10 workers 10 days to build a bridge.  How long would it take 5 workers to build the same bridge?

None—it’s already built!

—Liam, age 7

24. How do you make the word Tiger longer?

Ti-gerrrr

—Kabir, Age 9

25. How do you clean chicken?  -

Put it in the dishwasher.

—Kabir, Age 9

Burst via Pexels

26. What is black and white and looks like a penguin?

A penguin. 

—Zhan, age 5 
 
27. What did the dad say to his daughter at the cookout? 
 
This grill is on fire!
 

—Jadyn, 12 (This kid is on fire! 🤣)

 
28. What is a pirate's favorite body part?

 
The booty!

—C.J., age 9
 

29. If it takes two men to dig a hole in one day how long would it take for one man to dig a half a hole?           

There is no such thing as a half a hole.

—Eric, age 10
 

30. How do cats bake cake?

From scratch.
 

—reader Jacey

31. What is brown and sticky?

A stick.

—young reader Kohen

 

iStock

32. There's a girl on a boat in a pretty pink coat. What's her name?

What.

—Ray, age 9

33. Where does a rat go when it has a toothache?

 To the rodentist.
 
—Ray, age 9!
 

34. What does an alien do when it is bored in school?

Spaces out.
 
—Ray! (they are on a roll!), age 9
 

35. What does a broken plate say when she gets her cupcake?

Is this GLUE-ten free?

—Guess who? Ray! age 9

iStock

39. What did the kid learn about knowledge?

It was all knowing.

—Reader submitted by Deziree
 

40. Why didn't the hyena cross the road?

He was too busy laughing.

—reader submitted by Gillian P.
 

41. What's a rabbit's favorite music?

Hip-hop.

—Henrik P.
 
 

42. What did they say when Marie Curie and Albert Einstein said the same thing at the same time?

Greatest minds think alike!

—Henrik, age 9

43. What do you call babies in the army?

Infantry! 

—Joe L., age 9

44. What is a cat's favorite color?

Purrr-ple! 
 
—Olivia W., age 7 

Victoria Borodinova via Pixabay

45. Why did the dragon cross the road?

Because he was too chicken to fly!       
 
—Joshua Y. 
 
 

46. Who won the race of princesses?

Rapunzel, By a hair!

—Josh Y! 
 

47. What did the egg say when it was late for breakfast?

I have to scramble!
 
—our buddy, Joshua Y. 
 

48. How do you stop a bull from charging?

You take away its credit card!

—Joshua Y. 

 

49. Where does the T-rex go shopping?

The dino store!

—Joshua Y., age 9 

50. Why was the rabbit happy?

Because somebunny loved him!

—Guess who? Joshua Y.! 

51. What did the pear say to the shoeless?

You need a pair of shoes. 

—reader submitted by Rose A. 

52. What do you call a bear with no ear?

A "B"

—Alexis R. 

53. What would happen if the dean lost his job?

He would lose his "ideanity." 

—Joshua Y. 

54. Why did the baby cross the road? 
 
To get to the whine shop!

—Matilda C., age 7
 

55. Why shouldn’t you trust stairs?

Because they are always up to something.

—Ryder, Age 3!!! 

 

iStock

56. Why did the scarecrow win an award?

Because he was out standing in his field.

—Suzanna R. 

57. What do you call a cat burrito?

A purrito

—Rosewyn age 8 and 3 quarters 

58. What kind of key opens a banana?

A monkey!

—Rosewyn age 8 and 3 quarters 

59. How do you get a cat to code?

You Scratch it!
 

—Musegirl, 8

60. Why was the man mad at the clock?

He was ticked off!

—Nolan A. age 8

 

61. What is the strongest kind of shoe?

Under Armor!

—Liam A. age 9

62. Why did Rudolph have a bad report card?

Because he went down in History!

—Sreeja K., age 8 
 

63. Why don't scientists trust atoms?

Because they make up everything!

—Sreeja K., age 8 

64. Why can't you spell dark with a "c", so it says "darc"?

Because you can't c in dark!

—Shivani age 8

65. How do you clean a chicken?

An egg wash! 

—MB, age 12 

66. What's Joanna Gaines' favorite snack food?

Chips

—H.P., aged 9

Xavi Cabera via Unsplash

67. Why didn’t the skeleton cross the road?

He didn't have the guts. 

—Londynn, 9
 

68. What do you do when an astronaut’s wife is upset?

Give her some space.

—Jaden, 11
 

69. What do you call ants that bring you food and drinks?

Serv-ants! 

—Claire Y., age 8

70. Why couldn't the dinosaur sleep?

Because his brother was a dino-snore. He was boring AND loud. 

—David E., 5 

71.What is a vampire’s favorite fruit?

A blood orange.

—Rianna G., age 10

72. Knock knock! 

Who's there?

Banana. 

Banana who?

Knock knock! 

Who's there!

Banana. 

Banana who?

Knock knock!

Who's there?

Orange!

Orange who?

Orange you glad I didn't say banana!

—Carson H. 

 

funny jokes for kids girl laughing kid fun humor
Jose Ibarra via Unsplash

73. What do snakes like to binge watch?

Monty Python. 

—H.P., age 9

74. What do computers eat for lunch? 

Anything they can byte. 

—Henrik, age 9

75. Why can't a cyclops teach?

It only has one pupil. 

—KG, age 10

76. What's orange and sounds like a parrot?

A carrot! 

—Oliver, 7 

77. What be the pirate's favorite letter of the alphabet?

Arrrr! 

No, it be the C! (Sea).

—A hilarious 6-year-old reader. 

78. Why do fish live in saltwater?

Pepper makes them sneeze! ACHOOOOOO!!!!!!

—Hasset A. 

79. Why are fish so smart?

Because they live in a school!

—Ronit P. 
 

The following four jokes were written by Kaleb, age 4, as told to his grandpa:

80. Why did the cow lie down in the grass? 

He was ground beef.

81. What did Mama cow say to Baby cow? 

It’s pasture bedtime.

82. Why did the phone walk in the water? 

He was wading for a phone call.

83. What is blue, but not heavy?

Light blue.

Abdulmomn Kadhim via Pixabay

84. How do you find Will Smith in the snow?

You look for fresh prints. 

—Joshua N.  

85. What is the best day to visit McDonalds?

Fry-Day!

—Gianni, age 6

86. What's a cow's favorite drink?

A s-moooo-thie.

—Young readers Jax (7) and Kora (5)

87. Knock knock!

Who’s there?

Cow

Cow who? 

Cows don’t say who, they say moooo!

—Adalyn, age 5

88. Why did the tomato stop?

Because he was out of juice. 

—Karma E. 

89. What are cats best at?

Cat-apulting!

—Macy (10)

90. What kind of stick does a cat chase?

A cat-stick!

—Macy (10)

91. What kind of fruit does a dog eat?

A dog-berry!

—Macy(10) & Katie (34)

92. Why do hockey players make great bankers?

Because they are good at checking.

—Henrik, age 9 3/4

93. Why won't Santa go in the chimney anymore?

He's claus-trophobic.

—E.A., 7 

94. Mr. Red and Ms. Red live in the red house; Mr. Purple and Ms. Purple live in the purple house. Who lives in the white house?

The president!

—submitted by young reader Gwen I. 

95. Why did the chicken cross the road?

It was trying to get away from the KFC.

—Ben, age 8

96. Who sits at the bottom of the sea and twitches?

A nervous wreck. 

—Alesha, age 11 

97. Why was the snowman in the box?

Because he was picking his nose.
  
—Peter, age 8

iStock

These next five were sent in from Jax (7) and Kora (5):

98. What’s a dog's favorite toy?

A funny bone!

99. What’s a cow's favorite rock?

A mooo-n rock

100. What’s the scariest plant?

Bam-booo!

101. What’s a cow's favorite place to go?

The mooo-vies!

102. What’s the scariest injury?

A booo-booo!

(Jax & Kora!) 

103. Why did the girl spread peanut butter on the road?

To go with the traffic jam!

—Scarlett 

104. What did the salad say to the carrot after it lost the fight?
You've lettuce down.

—Joe, age 10

105. Why can't Elsa hold a balloon?

Because she will let it go!

—Cheyenne, age 9

106. What do you get when you cross a horse with a narwhal?

A unicorn! 

—Sophia M. 

107. Mr. and Ms. Violet lived in the violet house, Mr. and Ms. Green lived in the green house, why couldn't Mr. and Ms. White live in the white house?

Because the president was already living there!

—Sara S. 

108. What did the mummy bread say to the baby bread?

I loaf you!

—Sheen, 7

109. Why didn't the curtain go up?

Because it wanted to stretch out! 

—Sanshray, age 7

110. What part of your body can cause the end of the world?

Your apoco-lips!

—AJ, age 8!

111. Why did the king go to the bathroom?

He wanted to sit on the throne.

—Eric, age 10

112.  What does a cow like to drink?

A smoothie! 

—Carolina, age 8

iStock

113. Why didn't the koala pass the test?

He did not koalafiy. 

—Paxton 

114. Where does Cupid get his arrows?

From Target!

—Benjamin T., age 11 

115. What is the best time to see a dentist?

Tooth-hurty!!! 

—Tyler R. 

116. What did the salad say to the carrot when it asked for directions to a restaurant?

Beets me!

—Joe, age 10

117. What did the camper say to the other?

Can I have s'more?
 
—Xitlali, age 10 (and a half)
 

118. Why did the lion cross the road?

To get to the other pride!

119. What mood best describes a sad librarian?

Under the books.

—Elliana

120. What do you call a Buffalo that likes beef?

A Beef-alo

121. What does a camel say to a hunter?

Do you need some camel-flage

122. Why does the dinosaur like the bathroom?

Because it’s ex-stink-t

123. Why does the dentist use a computer?

Because it has Bluetooth.

—Jokes 120-123 courtesy of Gunner, age 8

124. Q: “What’s the best food to eat in the winter?”
A: “Brrrr-gurs!”
—Foster, age 7.5

Are you a kid with a joke to add? Send it to kate.loweth@tinybeans.com and we’ll put it in the story!

 

RELATED STORIES 

Keep Portland Weird! It’s the slogan locals have come to know and love dearly. But why is Portland considered to be so weird? We’ve put together Portland trivia that will drop jaws, elicit gasps and make your young Portlanders giggle. Read on to find out exactly which Portland facts have earned our city the reputation we’ve all come to embrace.

Akima H. via Yelp

Portland has the smallest park in the world

Located near the Willamette River in downtown, Mills End Park is the smallest park in the world according to the Guinness Book of Records. Tell your kiddos not to expect a swing set or slide, this grassy area has a diameter of 0.6 meters and a total area of 0.29 square meters. The park was originally intended to be the location for a light pole, which fell through so Oregon Journal columnist Dick Fagan planted flowers in the hole. It was recognized as an official city park in 1976.

Portland also has the largest urban forest in the country

Unlike Mills End Park, Portland's Forest Park, just northwest of downtown, offers families tons of room to run and play. Stretching for more than 5,200 acres and offering visitors breathtaking views of the Willamette River, Forest Park is the largest urban forest reserve in the US within the limits of a city. This beloved park is perfect for hiking, with more than 70 miles of trails. 

There is a dormant volcano in the city

Portland is one of only two cities that has a dormant volcano within the city limits. Mt. Tabor is located in SE Portland and one of Portlander's favorite spots for picnics, hikes and watching the sun rise and set. It even is home to a park where kids can play and an outdoor amphitheater.

Portland holds an annual World Naked Bike Ride

Our beloved city is all about body positivity and biking, so it's no wonder that it holds it's annual naked bike ride as a part of a worldwide protest against oil dependency every year. There's no clutching of pearls as decorated bikes, and dressed up moms and dads make their way through the city streets on two wheels in an effort to save the environment. This event is almost 16 years old!

Heyde Cirico via flickr

You can find miniature horses all over Portland

The sidewalks of Portland are peppered with metal rings. As a part of the "Portland Horse Project," people leave tiny toy horses attached to themso they can be used as a catalyst for people to realize the beauty in the details of our city. Your kids will love finding them around town. Buy some toy horses that your little one can attach to a ring for someone else to find!

Portland is home to the largest independently owned bookstore in the world

Chanced are you've visited Powell’s City of Books in the Pearl District. But did you know that it has been named the the largest independently owned bookstore in the world? Families and children of all ages love walking through this giant shop, and even spending time flipping though their favorite books, while they decide which ones to buy.

The Rose City's name was decided by a coin toss

Asa Lovejoy and Francis Pettygrove, two of Portland's founders, couldn’t agree on how to name the land they had acquired, so they decided to flip a coin. The winner got to name the place after their hometown. Pettygrove, a native of Portland, Maine, won the toss. Had Lovejoy won, the city would be called Boston, like his Massachusetts hometown.

Portland is ranked one of the best places in America for vegans and vegetarians to live

Portland has always been know for being health oriented (it's often been rated the most bikeable). It's also famous for its fantastic eateries and top-notch chefs. So it should come as no surprise that in 2020, Forbes rated it the best city in America for vegans and vegetarians.  You can find a list of some of the best vegan restaurants here.

Brian K. via yelp

The International Rose Test Garden has over 500 types of roses

This four-acre garden is home to some of the most beautiful roses in the world. Its four acres holds over 500 types of roses? Who even knew there were that many types?

The Simpsons was born here (kinda)

Matt Groening, the creator of The Simpsons, was born and raised in Portland and attended Ainsworth Elementary School and Lincoln High School. Groening began animating The Simpsons in 1989 and named several of the characters after famous Portland streets and landmarks, including Flanders, Lovejoy, Powell, Quimby and Kearney. Now is the perfect time to start watching with your kids!

Home to the Wiley Unipiper

Chances are, you've likely heard of the Unipiper. He rides around on a unicycle dressed as Darth Vader (and most recently, other characters from Game of Thrones and Pokémon), playing flaming bagpipes! Brian Kidd, also known as The Unipiper, is a unicyclist, street performer, musician and local celebrity who calls our city home!

Portland has the largest roost of Vaux's Swifts in the World

If you head up to Chapman Elementary School in September expect to see a sight that will take your breath away. As the Vaux's Swifts migrate, the fly into the school's chimney to nest for the night

—Annette Benedetti

RELATED STORIES

Fun Winter Activities in Portland 

Rainy Day Activities for Portland Kids

Winter Vacations Ideas in Portland

When it comes to gifts, we’ve all heard the expression “it’s the thought that counts.” But sometimes the thought you want to send is ‘I love you so much I broke my wallet for you.’ The good news is that Amazon has you covered. Read on for a list of Amazon’s most ridiculously expensive luxury items.

Gold-Infused Toothpaste

Amazon.com

Up first is an expensive item for people who want to give a ridiculous gift on a budget. This luxury toothpaste will set you back $70 because it has actual gold flecks in the paste. If you don’t feel right sending gold down the drain, you can always put the tube in a frame and call it art.

Swarovski Crystal Ducks

Amazon.com

Give your loved one a set of crystal ducks to convince them that like birds of a feather, you should flock together. These waterfowl can be yours for $1,498. But these ducks won’t fly to you for free: you still need to pay $14.99 for shipping.

Autographed Keith Richards Guitar

Amazon.com

If you’re looking for the perfect piece to add to your guitar collection, this guitar autographed by Keith Richards is the ideal addition at a cool $2,750. The signed instrument comes with a certificate of authenticity, so you know it’s the real deal.

Mark Saint Gaudens Twenty Dollar

Amazon.com

This 1924 Mark Saint Gaudens Twenty Dollar is a rare find. Designed by President Theodore Roosevelt, the Double Eagle is one of two designs he was able to complete before his death and is considered to be one of the most beautiful coins ever minted by the U.S. Mint. Get your own for only $2,799. 

Luxury Gold Toilet

Amazon.com

They say a man’s house is his castle, and what better gift to give the king in your life than a gold (colored) porcelain throne? Though, at $5,088, this neoclassical toilet better clean itself.

Diamond Tennis Bracelet

Amazon.com

Sometimes you want to buy that special someone an incredible piece of jewelry, but you can’t face another trip to the mall. Not to worry, Amazon is there to help you out. This whopping 7-carat bracelet can be yours and delivered right to your door for only $10,999.

Amazon.com

This one-of-a-kind signed letter from Voltaire and was written just weeks before his death in 1778 from Paris. The letter is written in beautiful script and in French and would make a thoughtful gift! Who doesn't need a famous signed letter hanging in their home?

Achieve epistolary excellence for the sale price of $20,000.

Feineshi Cast Copper Horse Sculpture

Amazon.com

Surprise the horse lover in your life with this exquisite bronze sculpture. At $26,633.64, it’s still less expensive than buying your loved one a herd of their own. Bonus: no mucking out a stall necessary!

Grateful Dead 1966 Concert Poster

Amazon.com

Sure you can buy cheap posters anywhere, but when you could bring home a mint condition 1966 Grateful Dead concert poster, why would you get anything else? This poster holds great significance, being the first time the Grateful Dead are associated with a skull symbol and is one of the hardest to find for Dead Head collectors.

It comes at a groovy price of $27,500— plus $4.50 for shipping if you can swing it.

 

Franck Muller Men’s Watch

Amazon.com

True collectors know a watch is more than just about telling time—it's about making a statement! If you're looking to spoil a certain someone this year, then look no further than this gorgeous Frank Muller Vanguard Seven Days Skeleton Color Dream watch. The automatic self-wind mechanism and water-resistant features make this a timeless—yup, we went there—accessory.

With a $45,000 price tag, this thing should be able to act like Cher and turn back time.

Tigrani Sterling Silver Chess Pieces

Amazon.com

Blaise Pascal once called chess “the gymnasium of the mind.” And this holiday season, you can wrap up these delicately sculpted silver and bronze chess pieces for the mental athlete on your gift list. At $45,000, your wallet is going to get a workout, too. The chessboard is sold separately.

White Gold Diamond Ring

Amazon.com

Everyone knows that love is priceless, but sometimes you want to stun your fiance-to-be. With a diamond weighing in at over five carats, you better propose on a cloudy day or this eye candy may blind your future spouse.

You can’t buy love, but if you have $65,900, you can buy this diamond ring.

Mordecai Brown Signed Baseball

Amazon.com

Own a piece of baseball’s “dead-ball era,” signed by Mordecai “Three Finger” Brown. 

Yes, at $267,265.99, this signed baseball costs the same as an average home in Texas, but you’re buying memories here. Those don’t come cheap.

Mickey Mantle Baseball Cards

Amazon.com

Run, don't walk—because this Mickey Mantle autographed baseball card is only $363,640. This set is 100% certified-authentic and comes with a Certificate of Authenticity from James Spence Authentication so you won't strike out.

—Teresa Douglas & Karly Wood

Featured photo: Unsplash

 

RELATED STORIES

The 18 Coolest Gifts for Tweens & Teens This Year

18 Festive Holiday Gifts for $25 & Under

13 Fabulous Gifts for Budding Bakers & Chefs

Calling all mini builders! LEGO just dropped some big news: it’s bringing over 20 new City-themed sets in 2022!

The expanded collection now includes everything from a police chase at the bank, hospital, rescue helicopter transport and more. Ranging in price from $10-$150, there’s a set for everyone’s budget. Keep scrolling to see our faves, then head to Lego.com in January to snag some new sets.

School Day

$70

Lunar Research Base

$120

Police Chase at the Bank

$100

Horse Transporter

$30

Fire Brigade

$100

Hospital

$120

 

––Karly Wood

 

RELATED STORIES

LEGO Just Dropped Wooden Accessories Perfect for Parents

We’re Over the Moon for These New LEGO Lunar New Year Sets

The 2021 LEGO Star Wars Advent Calendar Has Officially Landed