While we can’t explain the science behind Santa’s global gift deliveries, we can offer a few ways to find out how and when he’ll arrive. This year, when your kids ask you about the big guy’s arrival, you can have an answer at the ready when you use any—or all!—of the following Santa tracker apps, websites and smart speaker/home assistant skills.

Read on for our the best kids Santa trackers that let your little elves follow jolly Old St. Nick on his gift-giving world tour this Christmas Eve.

NORAD Tracks Santa

Since 1958, the North American Aerospace Defense Command (NORAD) has fielded calls and emails from around the world to keep curious children (and adults) informed about Santa’s whereabouts on Christmas Eve. An impressive 1,500 volunteers staff telephones and computers to answer calls and live updates are provided through the NORAD Tracks Santa website (in seven languages), over telephone lines and by email.

You can also follow NORAD Tracks Santa on Facebook, Twitter, Instagram and YouTube.

Sirius XM Kids Place Live

Sirius XM

In collaboration with the NORAD Santa Tracker, kiddos can tune into Kids Place Live (Ch. 78) to get live updates on the big man in red. Starting on Christmas Eve at 3 p.m. EST, you can hear Santa's progress with update every 15 minutes, along with festive holiday tunes.

Google Santa Tracker

Google

On Christmas Eve, Google Santa Tracker will showcase Santa’s dashboard: the technology that powers his sleigh during his around-the-world journey making the most important of deliveries! Families can follow Santa’s progress and even learn a little about some of his stops. Starting Dec. 1, use the site to explore Santa’s Village, engage in some activities and even meet a few of his elves.

“Alexa, where's Santa?”

Courtesy of Amazon

If you want to get those kids off to bed so you can enjoy some quiet time and a glass of wine, convince them that Santa is on his way by enabling the NORAD Tracks Santa skill on your Alexa-enabled smart speaker. 

Santa Update

Jakob Owens via Unsplash

Santa Update is for those who can’t wait a minute longer for the holiday hype. You can already keep abreast of Santa’s work by reading the site’s daily blog, which chronicles newsworthy happenings like recent improvements in wrapping technology, the Elf Parade, the local light decorating contest and efforts to test fly Santa’s new sleigh. The site is bursting with creative links and thoughtful details that will show your kiddos how committed the North Pole team is to preparing for Christmas and making their deliveries. 

"Google, track Santa."

Paul Agrusti via YouTube

If you have a Google Home smart speaker, simply ask Google to “Call Santa” to make sure you’re still on the nice list or “Track Santa” to find out how close he is to making the magical delivery at your house before you go to sleep. Google explains this handy Christmas feature at its blog.

Email Santa

Google

Although the primary activity on the Email Santa website is—you guessed it—emailing Santa (fill-in-the-blank letters with near-immediate responses are available for the impatient!), you can also track his whereabouts, watch the countdown to Christmas Day, view “live texting” between Santa and his elf squad on Christmas Eve, watch “live tweets” between Santa and Mrs. Claus, read Santa’s blog, laugh (or groan) at elf jokes, watch Christmas webcams from around the world—and oodles more. Your pet can even email Rudolph!

Santa Video Call & Tracker App

Pixabay via Pexels

The Santa Video Call and Tracker app, available for iOS devices, purports to be the “only Santa Video Call app with varied and customizable conversation options.” When you purchase the full version, Santa will even call your child by her name and knows (thanks to you) her age, month of birth, where she lives, her interests, and recent life events—at least, as much as you’d like to share. The app’s Santa Tracker locates the big guy in red within an “Elfiish Micrometer” and children can send Santa on test flights as well as zoom in and out on the three-dimensional globe as they watch Santa on the big night. 

Happy Santa tracking!

— Katie Brown & Keiko Zoll

Feature photo by Filip Mroz on Unsplash

 

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Photo: Storyblocks

When a grandparent, parent or older relative has Alzheimer’s disease, it affects everyone, including the kids. One second, they might recognize the children. The next, they’re calling them a stranger and blaming them for stealing the car keys. This emotional rollercoaster can easily confuse and frighten kids—just as it would an adult.

In those moments, you can provide comfort by helping them better understand Alzheimer’s and how the disease will change their relationship with the affected relative.

1. Explain the Disease
When you receive a diagnosis or your relative with Alzheimer’s moves in with you, you’ll want to explain the disease to your kids. Share the signs and symptoms and ask them if they’ve noticed these red flags in their loved one. Maybe the warning signs have been there for a while.

Explain that one in nine people age 65 and older has Alzheimer’s to reassure them they aren’t alone. There are kids just like them with affected family members who are experiencing similar emotions.

2. Anticipate & Encourage Questions
After sharing all of this new information, it’s only natural that your little ones would have questions, so do your research before having a conversation. Prepare to answer inquiries about the prognosis, the risk of other family members contracting the disease and how their symptoms might progress.

If your child shuts down and withdraws from the person with Alzheimer’s, gently begin a conversation about their response. Be an active listener and encourage them to share their emotions. Then, be a little vulnerable and share your feelings to encourage an open line of communication.

3. Be Honest & Concise
Of course, you may want to refrain from going into detail when explaining the disease and answering questions. Besides, there’s no reason to share a grim prognosis or startling new discoveries about your loved one’s health. These details will only scare younger kids and leave them with more questions than answers. Therefore, it’s best to keep your answers simple and concise. Be honest but don’t overshare. Your child could use some hope right now, not more reason to worry.

4. Prepare for Changes
Unfortunately, the symptoms of Alzheimer’s will progress and worsen over time. Even if a loved one seems completely normal today, they may be confused again tomorrow. If this relative is living with your family and the emotional rollercoaster becomes too much, you may choose to move them into an assisted living residence. There, they can enjoy therapy, sensory stimulation and other engaging activities.

These changes can happen more quickly than anyone can anticipate, so it’s best to prepare your kids before they occur. Talk about potential moves, developments and next steps ahead of time and answer any questions your children might have.

5. Validate Feelings
Another important part of helping kids and teens understand Alzheimer’s disease is validating their emotions. Your children could experience guilt, shame, sadness, anger, confusion and other emotions, and all of them are authentic and understandable. Get to the bottom of their feelings and normalize them by asking questions, stating facts and being genuine about your own feelings.

Most important, practice being present during these conversations. Get on your kid’s level, make eye contact and be with them at that moment. Once they express themselves, they’ll feel better and maybe even a little optimistic about the situation.

6. Plan Bonding Time
Sometimes, your little one will feel awkward around those with Alzheimer’s. In this case, it’s plan family activities to help them feel connected and comfortable. First, plan short outings or activities as an entire family so your child has time to adjust to being around the person with Alzheimer’s. Then, you can begin planning more one-on-one bonding time.

Plan a baking day and have your loved one teach the next generation how to make a special pastry or traditional family recipe. Get artsy and let the two paint together. You might even let them watch reruns of old shows or listen to old-timey music together. These activities will provide common ground for them to reconnect and make precious memories.

7. Teach Patience
It’s relatively common for kids to become impatient with grandparents or other relatives with Alzheimer’s disease. After all, frequently repeating yourself and keeping track of things for someone else can be a bit frustrating at times.

Show your kids a little grace when they react angrily or voice their displeasure. Then, teach them to be patient in future scenarios. Talk about what might happen or how they might feel if grandpa forgets where he put the remote again. Going through potential scenarios might help them respond more carefully next time.

Family Is Forever
The most heartbreaking question you might hear from your kids is “Will they forget about me?” Sadly, this is a very real possibility. However, in these moments, it’s best to remind your little one that, while their grandparent may not recognize them sometimes, they can certainly feel love. The two generations will always hold one another in their hearts because family is forever. When you’re all having a rough day, hold onto that truth.

RELATED: Easy Ways to Stay Connected to Grandparents from a Distance

Kara Reynolds is the Editor-in-Chief and founder of Momish Magazine.  A mom of four and matriarch to her big blended family, Kara wants nothing more than to normalize differences in family structures.  She enjoys peeing alone, pancakes, and pinot noir - but not at the same time. 

Last year Dude Dad, a.ka. Taylor Calmus, had us rolling in the Target aisles with his spoof of his Christmas-enthusiastic wife. This year, Dude Dad takes it to a new level with a mash-up of not one but five different family members at Christmas many of whom may strike a chord with parents everywhere. Meet The Christmas Queen, The Oblivious, The Impatient Child, The Humbug and The Teen. Click the video below to enjoy them all.

It’s a much-needed laugh we all need this season. Grab your “eggnog” and watch it on repeat.

—Amber Guetebier

featured image: YouTube

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Photo: Jennifer Lightner

We have a photo wall in my house of black and white pictures from different important stages of our lives. I love the pictures, I love how the wall looks, and I stare at it often. Sometimes I take a moment to really look at it, not just fly by. I usually just look at the kids, but the other day I stared at my face in each picture.

I have no idea what prompted me to do that (I hate looking at myself in general, let alone analyzing a photo of myself) but each face—my face—told a story.

In my wedding photo, I was ecstatic. It was hands down the best day of my life. The picture is of me with my husband during our first dance. I’m beaming with a smile ear to ear…I’m truly happy. We had no time to choreograph our dance, we were barely in the same city, let alone the same room before we got married. But I didn’t care how lame we looked just holding each other and swaying like teenagers—I was married to the love of my life and I was the happiest girl in the world.

The next photo is of my son, exactly seven days after he was born at his Bris (a religious ceremony—and probably the most stressful life event for a new Jewish mom). In the picture, my husband and I were holding him and kissing the top of his head. I looked terrified, my face a complete look of self doubt and uncertainty. Am I holding him too tight, too loose, is he okay, will he be okay, what happens if he cries, what happens if he doesn’t cry, is he too hot, too cold? I literally worried about everything and felt responsible for every single emotion of his—and I was certain I was going to mess it all up.

The next pictures were taken two weeks after my daughter was born. My son was 2 and-a-half years old. My husband and I had a house, a mortgage and two kids. I felt like a real grownup. We could actually afford a fancy studio photographer and fancy birth announcements. I now had two little people counting on me…and I was…exhausted.

In this particular picture of the four of us, I looked impatient. I looked like I had a fake smile and I remember thinking, please everyone just look at the freakin’ camera…just one decent picture. Hoping my naked baby does not poop on me. Hoping my son doesn’t tantrum and refuse to be in a picture, hoping we can get the perfect birth announcement… Thinking: just keep it together people!

Looking back at all these photos, I thought what I would tell my past self, knowing what I know now.

Dear Wedding Day Me,

Remember this day and this feeling forever! The love you have will literally carry you through some dark times. You will be challenged, beyond the point you think you can endure and you will doubt yourself…a lot. Some days will feel like it’s too hard to keep going.

You will walk through fire, sometimes alone, sometimes with your husband by your side, sometimes him holding you and sometimes you holding him. But you will come out the other side holding each other and completely in love! You are stronger than you think.

Dear New Mom Me,

You have so many doubts, everything in you is unsure and worried. That’s okay. Your son doesn’t see any of that. He doesn’t care if you nurse him or give him a bottle. He knows you love him with all your heart and he loves you right back.

You’re his rock, the one he comes to when things go wrong. Tou figure sh-t out and tell him it will be okay. And he believes you ’cause you’re mom. You got this, and…You are stronger than you think.

Dear Veteran Mom Me,

The next couple of years will be tough. You’ll feel like you will never have your stuff together…again…or ever! Your kids will get hurt and you will feel like the worst mom ever. Sh-t gets real. But things get better. They always get better. You’ll walk through fire again…and again…and again—but you get through it, stronger every time.

You will meet many guardian angels throughout the way, in many different forms: just be open to it, to all of it.

Life is messy and unpredictable and so hard for your Type A personality—but you gotta let it go girl! Just let it go and enjoy these fleeting moments. They don’t last. Be present and don’t worry about the perfect picture, because it’s the memory behind the picture that is so much sweeter and better.

And never forget: you will always be stronger then you think.

 I'm a mom to 2 busy kids and a pediatrician. My blog is about all things mom, doctor and how the two come together. My goal is to help you find your voice while I find mine and help you become your best version while I become mine!

Get stuck for an afternoon with an activity that requires one thing: tape! This handy dandy material can lead to all kinds of creative possibilities—which works out great when you need a craft that’s as simple as it is entertaining. Whether your arts and crafts drawer is stocked with duct tape, scotch tape, or colorful washi, scroll down for a few ideas that take tape to the next imaginative level.

Leaf Garland
photo: Hands on as We Grow

1. Simple Leaf Garland
A festive craft and an excuse to for your little explorer to roam the great outdoors? We dig it. This idea from Hands on as We Grow is super simple (just snag your scotch tape!) and a fun way to learn more about nature. It’s adaptable, too–make a festive garland to celebrate autumn, gather up spring flowers, or just see where the wind takes you! Learn more here.

Duct Tape Beads
photo: Clumsy Crafter

2. Duct Tape Beads
If you’re looking for a craft that will entertain everyone from Big Bro to Little Sis, the Clumsy Crafter (a.k.a. Bobbie Byrd) has you covered. As Bobbie says, this idea is “simple enough for a preschooler to make but interesting enough for elementary and middle school age kids”. That means that the whole crew will love making these sweet duct tape beads. Learn more here.

Washi Tape Dominos
photo: A Crafty LIVing

3. Washi Tape Dominoes
We have to give major props to A Crafty LIVing for this super simple craft that doubles as a learning game. How simple is it? Well, there are 2 steps and 2 supplies. The littles can help make it, and then practice number and color recognition, matching, and more! Learn more here.

Egg Maracas
photo: MADE Everyday

4. Homemade Maracas
Ready to make some noise? With leftover plastic Easter eggs, some masking tape, and just a few other around-the-house ingredients, you’ve got the makings for a musical afternoon, courtesy of MADE Everyday. In fact, it’s hard to say which part your little Mozarts will love more–crafting their own maracas or shake-shake-shaking to their own beat. Learn more here.

Watercolor Salt Painting
photo: Holly’s Arts and Crafts Corner

5. Watercolor Salt Painting
This idea from Holly’s Arts and Crafts Corner is a kid-approved combo of science and art. It gets bonus points for being quick-drying (always a plus with impatient artists!) and an interesting way to learn about the way salt interacts with water. For extra artsy angles, don’t forget the key supply–painter’s tape! Learn more here.

Duct Tape Bookmarks
photo: Theresa’s Mixed Nuts

6. Duct Tape Bookmarks
Tiny bookworms rejoice! Theresa’s Mixed Nuts has just the thing to tuck into your favorite read. Made from colorful duct tape, these bookmarks are easy to whip up and practically indestructible, too. Give ’em as gifts, stick them in party bags, or just make sure they’re handy when storytime rolls around. Learn more here.

—Abigail Matsumoto

Although they know you’re traveling toward an exciting vacation, children typically don’t love long road trips. Ensure your time on the road goes as smoothly as possible by gathering an assortment of activities that will help pass the hours with ease. With a variety of games, surprises, and snacks, your family may discover that the journey is almost as entertaining and memorable as the actual destination. 

1. Plan Stops. To make driving long distances a breeze, it will be easier on the children—and you—o build several pit stops into your route. Consider finding parks, kid-friendly historical sites or favorite chain restaurants where you can stop to recharge. Any location that will enable everyone to rest, get a snack, head to the restroom and step out of the car for a little while will take your mind off of the monotony of the road. You can also hold challenges for the children at each stop to see who can sprint across the parking lot the fastest or do the most jumping jacks in two minutes. These “competitions” may tire them out so they’ll nap on the next leg of the drive.

2. Listen Together. Before you leave home, load your tablet or phone up with a few audiobooks for children that you will also enjoy listening to as you drive. To ensure the speaking voice doesn’t simply lull everyone to sleep, pause the audio every so often to discuss what you’ve heard so far. To encourage the children to listen intently, ask questions such as what they would have done in one of the character’s positions or what they believe will happen next. If you don’t think they’ll be interested in a new book, you can also find fun podcasts that will keep them engaged.

3. Play Observation Games. When considering road trip games that children will enjoy, choose interactive ones that will allow everyone in the car to participate. Searching to see who can find the entire alphabet on the license plates of passing cars, billboards or road signs, for example, will keep everyone awake and alert on the drive. In addition, play a story-building game that begins with “Once upon a time…” and requires each person to add the next piece of the story featuring something he’s noticed on the drive such as a man on a motorcycle, a dog on a billboard or a red house visible from the road.

4. Educational Apps. If your children become easily engrossed in their tablets, download several educational applications that they can play while you drive. Children’s television stations such as PBS or Disney, for instance, offer free games that feature characters from their most popular shows to teach lessons on grammar, mathematics, colors, shapes and problem-solving. You can also add apps that will allow the kids to complete jigsaw puzzles, color pictures and draw without making a mess in the car.

5. Offer Treasures. Encourage your child’s best behavior on the road with the promise of choosing a wrapped gift from a treasure chest at various points along the drive. Fill a colorful box with small treats such as toy cars, crayons, and an activity tablet, magnetic games, board books or plastic puzzles or snack-sized packages of candy or trail mix, for instance. The idea of receiving a gift for behaving may keep the kids quiet as you drive, and they will also be occupied with their presents afterward to earn you some additional time in peace and quiet.

Whether you’re taking a road trip toward a vacation or a family function in another state, spending several hours with restless children in a car might not sound like an ideal situation. Dress comfortably, give yourself plenty of time, anticipating the grumpy and impatient moments and prepare activities to keep kids engaged, you’ll find yourselves bonding and arriving at your destination sooner than you think.

 

 

I am a mom of three children and I love to write in my free time. I have loved to write about my trials and success of being a mom as well as the different tips, tricks and hacks I've learned for raising kids.

When I was a kid, I was a daydreamer, but no one knew it. I sat in the classroom quietly and obediently. My teachers always said nice things about me. No one ever guessed I could have an Attention-Deficit Disorder (ADD). I was too well-behaved and I got good grades.

Many years later as an adult, I thought to myself, “I bet I have ADD.” I always misplaced my keys, my phone, my purse. I left drawers and cupboards open all the time. I started one project, only to start another and another, until I had multiple unfinished projects everywhere. I never fully paid attention in any lecture, training or workshop. I would zone out during every staff meeting.

I assumed I had ADD but never followed up. I had got through life just fine­­. That is, until one day…

My journey as a mom with ADD began at work. My daughter was four and my son was two. I worked at a full-time, salary job. I was under the pressure of having to remember so many important things, not-so-important things, interesting things and not-so-interesting things. It’s those boring, not-so-interesting things which are my constant downfall!

I was great at my job, but I regularly forgot to do one really boring task which only took about 10 minutes daily. I tried calendar reminders, Post-It notes and more. They helped for a little bit, but nothing stuck long-term. One day, my supervisor told me, “I don’t want to have to write you up over this.” That was the moment I committed to getting an evaluation for ADD.

My life improved once I got an official ADD diagnosis. Prior to the diagnosis, I had lots of mom guilt and stress. A professional diagnosis is what helped me finally give myself permission to explore how ADD impacts me. Suddenly, it made sense why things felt so hard! Motherhood changed. I now had realistic expectations for myself. I practiced self-compassion. I created effective systems to reduce the chaos in my life. I was empowered!

I finally accepted there are some things most moms are really good at, but I’m just not. For example, because I have ADD:

  • I’m horrible at keeping up with laundry and other house chores, (there’s clothes sitting in the washer right now from yesterday that I forgot to put in the dryer, whoops!). Even though I can create these great systems of organization, my follow-through stinks!
  • I get distracted very easily and so I don’t do well at keeping my kids on a schedule or routine. “Alexa help me! Set a reminder at 8 p.m. for bedtime.”
  • I am so impatient. Kids are supposed to take a long time to do things, but I can’t handle the boredom of playing games, teaching them something new or even just being cool through a tantrum. “We’re going to do something else now. Mommy can’t handle this.”
  • I forget things, really often. “Uhhh, we have to go back. I forgot the diaper bag.” or “Oh no, I forgot to send you to school with your snack/book/homework.” Also: “Where’s your jacket? What do you mean you gave it to me? Oh right, you did, where did I put it?”

Before I accepted ADD as a real issue, I felt guilty that I didn’t keep up with household chores, for being impatient, for forgetting things, for not being able to stick to structures I knew would be good for my kids. And at times, there’s still a little guilt when I mess up, but I’m confident I’m doing my best and am always improving.

I see all the ways being a mom with ADD benefits my kids. Like, I always have mental energy for fun. We are always going places, trying new things and having adventures.

People with ADD have the ability to hyperfocus on interests and because I love creative endeavors, when I plan something, everyone is guaranteed a good time. Family biking trip? I’ll map out a great route with all of the places we should stop for sightseeing and lunch. Trip to Disneyland? We will hit up everything each person wants to do/see in two days, no Hopover ticket necessary. Movie night at home? Let’s make Reeses Pieces milkshakes for ET. Themed birthday party? Absolutely, I can’t wait to make a piñata to fit the theme.

But even though I am great at planning things out, I’m also good with flexibility. With my ADD, I’m used to things not going right and I’m resilient as a result. I’m an out-of-the-box thinker and I hardly worry about things. I take shortcuts for everything (mainly because lots of things are boring).

If there’s an established way to do something, I will find a more efficient or less time-consuming way of doing it. Like potty training for my kids didn’t really involve any training. Every now and then I just asked, “Do you want to use the potty?” and both of my kids eventually wanted to and then they did it. Also, when my kids needed to learn my phone number, we just plugged in numbers to the Mickey Mouse Clubhouse song and that worked great.

Further, my ADD brain remembers lots of random details. Sure, I can’t tell you where I put that check I need to cash, but I remember how you like your burgers cooked and your topping preferences, where you’re from and whatever else you might have done or told me when we were hanging out. I also remember those details for my kids and this helps me predict what they need and what’s going to bring them joy. I know they feel loved.

Even though I have shortcomings others won’t understand and may even judge me for, I’m okay with it. In fact, I am happy I have ADD. There are so many positive things about my ADD which make me unique and I view these as my natural strengths. My journey as a mom with ADD is a great adventure for which I’m so grateful.

I'm a mom and a therapist with a private practice where I specialize in issues of anxiety, mom stress, teens and eating disorders. At home, I'm a big fan of living room dance parties, family adventures and bike rides to the taco truck. 

Dim Sum is perfectly packaged for finger-friendly eaters. These Chinese appetizers are not meant to fill tummies, but rather (loosely translated)  “touch the heart. They are served steamed, fried or baked; even picky eaters will enjoy this food adventure (check out this picky eater’s guide to dim sum). Not only is dim sum fun to eat, but cart-style service means hungry little eaters can get their food faster (and pick it themselves!).

Photo: Audrey Low via flickr

Da Hong Pao
Dim sum portions are known to be finger-friendly foods. At Da Hong Pao, you’ll find portions slightly more miniaturized — perfect for little eaters! This restaurant is often referred to as one of the best DC dim sum spots and crowds can reflect that. You may wait 15 to 30 minute for a table during brunch, but if you have tiny adventurers with you, you can grab a beeper and explore the outdoors. While you can order by checking items off a menu, kids will like the parade of steam carts that whiz through the restaurant.

1409 14th St., NW (Logan Circle)
202-846-7229

Tiger Fork
Tucked away in an alley, kids will love the secret-like location of this Chinese restaurant in Shaw. Once inside, the space is filled with festive lanterns and tassels. Communal-style seating makes this a great place for large families or multiple party “play dates.” Dim sum dishes here are less traditional and more inventive, fusion-like offerings. A kid favorite: the bubble waffles piled with sweets and sprinkles.

922 N St NW (Shaw)
202-733-1152
Online: tigerforkdc.com

The Source by Wolfgang Puck
Attached to the Newseum on Pennsylvania Avenue, The Source is a great place to grab a bite when you are visiting near by attractions like the National Gallery or the Art Sculpture Garden. Puck’s Asian-fusion restaurant serves brunch on Saturday and Sunday; you’ll find non-traditional, house made dumplings artfully served here. The cuisine can lean adventurous, but the miso glazed donuts (a brunch staple) are sure to please even picky eaters.

575 Pennsylvania Ave., NW (National Mall)
202-637-6100
Online: wolfgangpuck.com

Hong Kong Pearl Seafood
Due to space, many D.C. locations can not accommodate the cart service that is often associated with dim sum. This Falls Church establishment is expansive and filled with carts, which means the most impatient diners in your party (kids, we’re looking at you) won’t have to wait long to eat! Little ones will love the sesame balls and pineapple buns at this location.

6286 Arlington Blvd. (Falls Church, VA)
703-237-1388

Ching Ching Cha
It was Hong Kong teahouses that first introduced dim sum;  tiny snack-sized portions one could enjoy with their tea. This Georgetown institution is famous for their teas, but while you won’t find cart service here, there are dim sum treats on the menu. Ching Ching Cha offers a unique environment that transcends its D.C. address. Kids will love the part here about dining on floor pillows.

1063 Wisconsin Ave., NW (Georgetown)
202-333-8288
Online: chingchingcha.com

Mark’s Duck House
Tucked away in a shopping center off of Arlington Highway, Mark’s Duck House is a local favorite for dim sum and savory roast duck, a Cantonese staple. Dim sum is served from the pushcarts at lunch daily (10 am-3 pm) and at all other times can be ordered off the menu. Mark’s Duck House is not as large as some of the other dim sum spots, and it does fill up fast, so go early with the under-10 set.

6184 Arlington Blvd. (Falls Church, VA)
703-532-2125
Online: marksduckhouse.com

Tony Cheng’s
Small and authentic, Tony Cheng’s is the best spot in D.C. for a traditional dim sum brunch (served off push carts on weekends only, from 11 am-3 pm, but dim sum may be ordered off the menu daily). For some post-brunch entertainment, check out one of the kid-friendly museums nearby like the National Portrait Gallery, the International Spy Museum, or the Smithsonian Institution Asian Pacific American Center.  .

619 H St., NW (Chinatown)
202-371-8669
Online: tonychengrestaurant.com

—Meghan Meyers and Shelby Settles-Harper

 

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Photo: Pexels

As they enter their pre-school and kindergarten years (and continue into their early grade school years), conscience begins to develop in our little ones. In other words, they begin to build their small inner voice that helps them to distinguish between right and wrong—and how they impact others. It starts to feel a little different now when they don’t tell the truth or they hurt the feelings of a friend. 

Until around age four, we serve as the conscience for our kids. It sounds like: Always tell the truth. It’s your brother’s turn with the new toy.

We get so comfortable with this role that it becomes “too automatic.” It’s time to start cultivating their inner voice as they become more independent. It’s an important transition for both child and parent as the inner voice becomes a new pathway for bringing out the goodness that lies within. 

Here are the three ways we can cultivate a child’s inner voice:

Introduce the idea that we all have an inner voice. 

 With my kids, I simply said there is a “small” voice inside you . . . a voice that only you can hear. Expect a puzzled look and be prepared with some personal examples. An example I shared was how I came across a lost cat when I was coming home from school. I didn’t want to take on the burden of finding its owner—but my small voice wouldn’t let me off the hook. It kept saying: This little cat needs your help!

Challenges and little ethical dilemmas will constantly arise for your child—and each one creates an opportunity to have them connect with their inner voice. For example: “I don’t want to go to Sarah’s birthday.”

One option for the parent is to share their own rationale for going: “You don’t want to hurt Sarah’s feelings.”Or, the heavy-handed approach: “You’re going and that’s it!” The more powerful alternative is for parents to trigger some reflection and then give them some space to think about it. It can be framed in a simple question: “What does your small voice say you should do?”

This single question also allows parents to create a more nurturing relationship with their child—creating more opportunities for discussion (rather than telling and correcting). 

Model it. 

It is important to remember that as parents we play the most dominant role in influencing our kids. The process begins with the initial attachment that is formed between parents and their newborns. A child who doesn’t feel consistently loved and cared for by their parents will have challenges in developing relationships at a later age. 

As your kids approach their pre-school years, this initial attachment phase grows into an identification phase. It starts with the child beginning to imitate their parents—copying their gestures and behaviors. 

If dad always wears a baseball cap, they will want to wear one too! The identification process continues as the child experiences how the parent relates to those around them. For example, if parents are attentive, loving and nurturing, the child will adopt these characteristics as the way in which they should relate to others. Conversely, if the parents are impulsive, negative and impatient…well, you get the point. 

The bottom line is that how you relate to your child (and others) will have a profound effect on how they will relate to others.So, be on guard as you move through the day. Your impatience with the grocery store clerk and others will eventually start to show up in how your kids relate to their friends. 

Make it routine. 

To bring their inner voice to life, make it a routine inquiry. It’s easy to see how all the little dilemmas they face can be opportunities to develop their capacity to reflect and do the right thing. They say: “I don’t want to go to grandma’s, it’s no fun there.” Your response: “We can try to make it more fun—and seeing you always makes your grandma happy. What does your small voice say you should do?”

Intuitively, they will know that this question is intended to bring out their better self. It also puts the choice back into their hands—as opposed to the guilt-induced statement: “She’ll be sad if you don’t come.”

Whether it is at the dinner table or the car ride home from school, these can be great opportunities to share how our own small voice “nudged us” during the day (e.g., “I was impatient with your mom this morning, so I sent her a text as soon as I got to work”).  Even today, as we try to make good choices in a challenging world, my adult kids will still ask me: What does your small voice say, dad?

Mike Morrison Ph.D.’s passion centers on developing leaders at all ages, from the four-year-old entering pre-school to the corporate CEO leading a global enterprise. In today’s world, we all need to lead in some way and Mike has helped illuminate that path through three books.

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The holidays have always been one of my favorite times of the year. I love listening to Christmas music, lighting menorah candles and baking (and eating) holiday treats. But as a parent, the holidays can also be very busy and stressful. Special events like parties, concerts and family gatherings can throw off schedules and disrupt routines. And many holiday activities like long car rides, multiple trips to Target and hectic family dinners are challenging to navigate when children get impatient and act out.

As a result, I often find myself using rewards to encourage good behavior, help around the house or not make a scene when going to the doctor’s office to get a shot (this is a big one in our family). I do this more often than I would like to, especially knowing how rewards impact development.

As a developmental psychologist, it is sometimes helpful to be knowledgeable about child development, but that knowledge can also work against you when you are a parent. That is, you may know what you should do, but in reality that doesn’t always work. So while I know that providing extrinsic rewards, like screen time, treats or a trip to their favorite store can have a negative impact on my children, there are times that I have somewhat reluctantly used them.

One important distinction to make is the difference between intrinsic and extrinsic motivation. When we are intrinsically motivated, we engage in an activity because it is personally rewarding and we enjoy it (for me, things like  reading, running or yoga).

In contrast, extrinsic motivation occurs when we engage in an activity to gain a reward or avoid something unpleasant (e.g., cleaning your room for extra dessert). Research paints a clear picture of the benefits of intrinsic motivation and how extrinsic motivators in the form of rewards can undermine children’s natural interest in a range of activities.

For example, in school, if children are given a gold star for doing well, their motivation for learning may be based on receiving rewards and not on their natural thirst for knowledge.

In a classic study of motivation, researchers observed preschoolers’ natural tendencies to use markers. Some children were given an award for playing with the markers while others were not. Several weeks later the researchers returned to the preschool to observe the children again. What they found might surprise you.

Children who did not receive an award were more likely to continue using the markers compared to those who were given something. That is, children who received the reward believed the activity was tied to the reward and when there was no longer any reward, the children lost interest in the activity.

Decades of research support this finding with older children and adults engaging in a variety of activities (e.g., putting together puzzles, playing with toys). The message from this research is pretty clear: rewards can lower the intrinsic appeal of activities that are naturally appealing to many children.

While research tells us that intrinsic motivation is ideal, it is not always possible in every situation. What is important to keep in mind is that excessive rewards can be problematic, but extrinsic rewards can also be a useful tool, especially when children have no internal desire to engage in an activity or are scared to try something new.

When one of my daughters was learning to ride her bike, she didn’t want us to take off her training wheels. So we did what many parents would do—we offered her a trip to Baskin-Robbins if she tried riding her bike to the mailbox (a long 50 yards) without training wheels. She took the plunge and discovered that riding without training wheels is not as scary and she thought…and it was fun! After that, she didn’t need the promise of an ice cream cone to keep riding.

Another thing to keep in mind is that children want to be helpful. Giving children a choice of how they can help can often lead to a positive outcome. In my family, washing dishes is low on everyone’s list so I often give my daughters the choice of washing dishes, setting the table or taking out the trash and recycling as options for helping during mealtimes.

In addition, research suggests that verbal praise and positive reinforcement can help to encourage positive behavior in children. Process-focused praise in particular—“That’s a really good score. You must have worked really hard”—can increase internal motivation and lead children to persist through challenging situations.

As with any parenting tip, there is no one right way to motivate children. Extrinsic and intrinsic motivation are both important ways of shaping behavior. Ultimately, extrinsic motivators should be used strategically and sparingly, especially when children may find that an activity or task is inherently engaging or rewarding.

A well-respected researcher, Dr. Hadani holds a doctorate in developmental psychology from Stanford. She has worked with children to develop products for companies including Apple, Hasbro and LEGO. She is a member of the Goddard School Educational Advisory Board. Currently, she is the director of research at the Center for Childhood Creativity.