ML Interest Tag: inability

My Daughter Saved Me in the Most Unexpected Way

By Jacqueline Waxman

I had wanted a daughter since literally, like, I was the age of 10. There were things inside of me that were inherently broken. Even then.

As I aged there was an ever-present fantasy script in my head that (one day) watching my husband with his daughter would somehow magically heal the broken parts inside of me. And, in all fairness it may have. But, that’s not how my story went.

When I was pregnant and learned I was having a girl—the irony was not lost on the fact that as a fatherless daughter I was (finally) having a daughter— a daughter who would also, in essence, be fatherless.

I was pretty mad at God and the Universe for a really long time. It was a dirty dirty trick I thought.

I spent most of my life feeling as if there was a missing piece. As if something was inherently wrong with me because my father didn’t want me. Side note: my mom was amazing. This has nothing to do with her.

This internal dialogue was the basis for most of my life choices. How I viewed myself. How I viewed my worth. This brokenness, unknowingly to me, dictated most of my life and my self-value. It showed up most clearly in who I dated. Who I ultimately married.

It wasn’t until my dad passed away, two months after my daughter was born and 7-months after my husband had left, that I started to realize the truth. I sat in a hospital room every day for a week watching my dad die. In those days I realized for the first time, ever, that my worth was not based on my father’s inability to be a parent. My worth was not based on his inability to be in my life. None of his demons and actions and choices had anything to do with me. Not a single one. They all had to do with him. I was just a casualty of his personal war.

It was somewhere during that time that it all made sense. I was sent a fatherless daughter to in fact heal me. At the most perfect time.

My daughter is amazing. She’s as beautiful as she is bright. Zero of her worth is defined by the fact that her father is not in her life. None. My daughter did nothing to cause someone who should love her not to.

A father. A father is someone who shows up because that is the nature of their job description. My daughter had nothing to do with her father abandoning that role. And, through watching her and walking through this with her, I realized neither did I.

The script in my mind, for most of my life, was that by watching my daughter with my husband, I was going to heal vicariously through them and their love. By watching her and her father have tea parties and play house and falling asleep together, and see them love each other so much, that it was going to fix the broken pieces inside of me. That’s not reality. And, none of that happened.

But, my daughter did in fact heal me. She stopped the cycle just by being alive.

She is the cycle breaker.

She’s beautiful. She’s smart. She’s perfectly imperfect.

And, she has taught me more in her short life than I ever could have imagined.

JACQUELINE WAXMAN, M.Ed living in New Jersey with her kids. I’m a social worker by profession and Mom by choice. I chauffeur children to their preferred destinations, feed-bathe-and-clothe my little people when we are not playing outside. Passions include writing, photography and advocacy. 
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What Is Social Media Depression and Is Your Child at Risk?

By Isabel Cintra

If Snapchat filters, Instagram followers, boomerang pics, the perfect photo, tweets, and Facebook ‘likes’ seem to consume your teen’s life, it is no surprise. Social media use is currently the most common activity enjoyed by children and teenagers. Over 75 percent of children own a cellular phone, and the majority use it to access social media platforms several times each day. With such a broad reach and widespread popularity among our youth, it’s important that parents understand that while mostly fun and games there can be negative consequences of excessive social media use. 

Does the following sound familiar?

Lately you’ve noticed that your child appears aloof, irritable, and withdrawn. He prefers to be left alone in his room spending time on Instagram and Snapchat. Though he is restricted from screen time after bedtime, he has had several nights of breaking this rule and staying up late to check his social media feeds. As his parent, you’ve established rules regarding social media use including having access to his social media platforms usernames and passwords. You’ve come to learn, that he has a fake Instagram (i.e. a “Finstagram”) account and has experienced bullying due to some recent posts.  

Or this?

Your teen has been unusually irritable. She’s having trouble sleeping and is spending more time alone. She’d rather sit in her room and swipe and post on her social media feeds than spend time with her family or even go out with friends. She appears overly concerned with her physical appearance and getting the “perfect look” for pictures. Once cheerful and self-assured, she has lately become self-doubting and withdrawn.

At first glance, we might think that behaviors and mood symptoms such as these can be chalked up to a teenage funk or a child hitting a rough patch. Another possible cause? Social media depression. Social media depression refers to a clinical depression that results from the intensity, pressure, and eventual isolation stemming from social media use. And unfortunately, it is becoming increasingly common among kids and teens.

Social media depression is not recognized as a formal diagnosis among health care professionals. Yet, there is a growing body of research that shows an association between social media use and clinical depression, especially among youth and young adults—thus the term “social media depression.”

How do you know if your youth is struggling with a clinical depression and this is more than a moody teenager? If you notice that your child has several of the following symptoms over a two week period or more, then you should be concerned about clinical depression: depressed mood (most of the day and nearly every day), changes in sleep pattern (sleeping too much or too little), loss of energy nearly every day, poor concentration, an inability to experience pleasure in activities that your child previously enjoyed, increased time alone and reduced time with friends, or even talk of death or suicide. 

Social media may be an underlying cause if your youth has an excessive amount of interest and time spent on YouTube, Instagram, Snapchat, Twitter and Facebook. Take heed if you notice the following behaviors and telling signs: spending considerable amounts of time on social media at the expense of real friendships and family time, a hyper-focus on physical appearance because of a posting the “perfect” picture, and excessive comparisons of themselves to friends.

If you suspect that your child is suffering from clinical depression, that’s your cue to take the next step. Get professional help—the sooner, the better.  We’ve seen that early intervention can make a great difference. 

Written by Dr. Carlin Barnes and Dr. Marketa Wills.

Through her vibrant picture books, illustrated by her brother Zeka Cintra,Isabel strives to introduce kids to a world where diversity is valuable and beautiful. Fantasy, representativeness and diversity are common themes in her editorial production. She currently resides in Stockholm, Sweden with her husband and daughters.

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A Familiar Name with an Outstanding Mission

by Jamie Aderski
Partner Content

Say it with us: families need support! Fortunately for families, the YMCA of Metro Chicago is committed to its community and has your back. As a nonprofit organization, their mission is to develop strong children, families and communities across the city of Chicago and suburbs through academic readiness, character development, violence prevention, and healthy living—impressive, right?

Much more than a fitness center, the YMCA may be what you need to navigate our new normal. Read on for four reasons why the Y is precisely where you want to be!

Ready to join today? Use code FAM15 when you join and receive $15 off the first month of a family membership (valid through 12/15/20). Or bring in your family to try out the Y by purchasing a family day pass at their front desks ($15 includes 2 adults, unlimited children) or by calling their Member Services team at 773-905-5115.

Family Values

For hundreds of years, parents have relied on the YMCA as a partner in helping to raise confident, healthy and community-minded citizens. Not just sports and after-school programs, the Y’s goal is to help kids create a positive identity, develop transferable life skills, healthy habits, and build career readiness. 

The YMCA is here to help parents reach their wellness goals, too! Parents have the opportunity to get their sweat on with tons of classes to choose from while their kids are taking part in a class of their own. During regular operating, they even offer free childcare on-site with Kids Zone, offering a safe environment and trusted sitter for an hour or two.

(Accessible) Activities for All

The YMCA offers a wide variety of programs for the whole family, including early childhood education and care for children ages six weeks to six years, before and after school programs, daytime and overnight summer camp, swim lessons and premium fitness classes, to name a few. 

We all know that the flexibility to squeeze in a workout around your day is crucial to keeping up with your health goals. A YMCA of Metro Chicago membership gives members access to 13 YMCA membership centers across the Chicagoland area, which means no more excuses—you can do it!

 

Community-Minded

The YMCA is committed to creating an inclusive environment and meeting all of today’s families’ needs. Their equally passionate staff prides itself on establishing a sense of community at their centers. The love is mutual—many of their members and program participants end up volunteering with Y programs.

The Y has long been a stronghold in communities across the country and the world. All are welcome at the Y regardless of race, religion, orientation, ability or socioeconomic background. The YMCA believes a family should never be denied access to their services because of an inability to pay and offers financial assistance to those in need.

COVID Response

As they’ve done for decades, the YMCA has rallied purposefully behind the city and the region to support families during difficult times. Even while locations were shut down, the Y continued its commitment to the community by sheltering the city’s homeless and displaced citizens, providing emergency child care for essential workers, and distributing food, diapers, and other critical supplies to residents in need. 

Exciting news: They’ve reopened their centers with extensive precautionary measures, and are offering remote learning support programs. For more information on their reopening policies and procedures, as well as “Know Before You Go” information, please visit their Reopening Resource Center. 

 

Ready to join today? Use code FAM15 when you join and receive $15 off the first month of a family membership (valid through 12/15/20). Or bring in your family to try out the Y by purchasing a family day pass at their front desks ($15 includes 2 adults, unlimited children) or by calling their Member Services team at 773-905-5115.

Learn more about their COVID response and support the YMCA as they work to strengthen families during the pandemic and beyond here.

All photos courtesy of the YMCA of Metro Chicago.

 

—Jamie Aderski

 

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Thankful in the Age of COVID? It’s Possible

By Katie Washington

I was in church a few weeks ago. It was the first time I’d been to mass since before COVID and it was a different experience, wearing masks and socially distancing, trying to come together as a church community when the very nature of this virus demands separation.

I started thinking about all COVID has taken from us, all the ways it’s demanded we stop doing the things that make us human. And, conversely, all the ways it’s encouraged us to be better, kinder, and stronger people. 2020 has been a crappy year (change my mind) and people across the globe are struggling. This Thursday is Thanksgiving. We are eight months into a pandemic whose curve we thought we could flatten in two weeks. I know I am not the only one struggling. It’s hard and while I could (and have) sit and focus on the variety of ways this virus has taken from us, I can’t do that anymore. This week, I want to push my brain to think about a few things I can be thankful for in the age of COVID:

Stronger Relationships with Family & Friends 

Whether it’s my husband, kiddos, friends, or family, my network has both opened wider and gotten tighter. My husband and I had to push past the discomfort and sheer annoyance of everyone being home all the time and needing to work and raise children and, it wasn’t always perfect, but we got better at listening to each other and working together. I feel like we had a crash course in building a stronger marriage and I love where we are now. With friends, we did Zoom happy hours (like the rest of the country!) but we also just got better about checking in, offering support, and being there for each other—in spirit or real life. Knowing everyone was struggling in their own way and no one was getting it just right allowed people the room to offer help and support but also to ask. I think that as we moved apart, physically, we opened up some more room to connect emotionally and I will always be grateful for that.

Giving Grace

More than anything else this year, I heard, “we need to give each other grace.” I think the pre-COVID world of constant motion, overscheduling, and inability to slow down blocked the extra room we often needed to give grace and patience to those around us. We’re only human: working hard, continuously learning, and frequently making mistakes. To be given the time and space to take a step back and offer grace to an employee, an employer, a friend, an acquaintance, or someone who simply bugs you is a generous gift. It costs nothing but can demand a lot. Grace has been extended to me and I’ve gratefully accepted; it’s been something I’ve struggled with when I needed to extend it to others. Having been on both sides of that fence, it’s not something I’ll take for granted again.

Embracing the Outdoors

I am a huge fan of open windows. Every spring when it warms, and every fall when the heat finally breaks, you’ll find my house coated in pollen and dust, echoing with birdsong, and open to the air. This was the first year I’ve heard and seen the neighborhood kids outside as well. As things slowly opened back up, the embrace of outdoor drinks, gatherings, and picnics is incredible. We pack up blankets and snacks and go find parks or cool public properties. The kids run and bask in the heat of the sun or the shade of a quiet afternoon. My kids thrive in sunlight and fresh air. As the weather cools, we wear jackets and jump in leaves but warm our faces in the sun. Being outside feels cleaner and safer and freer; I don’t want to lose that when we return to “normal,” whatever that might look like.

COVID may have snatched our usual way of doing things and this year may go down as one of the most challenging and frustrating times of the modern era; I hope it will also be remembered as one of the most human. 2020 has been angry and defiant and messy and heartbreaking. It’s also been inspiring and kind and revolutionary and strengthening. I want to end this year on a positive note and say, I hope 2020 makes us better. Stronger. Infinitely more grateful.

I'm 38, not single, but I do enjoy long walks on the beach. I'm a mom to 3 little boys, ages 5 and under; married to a wonderful man for almost 6 years. I work at the University of South Carolina (Go Gamecocks!) and live with my family in SC.

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Pressing Pause on Family Travel Plans…for Now

By Marni Fogelson

Photo: Fogelson/Teel family

“I don’t know what to do with myself. I don’t have any trips to plan,” I told my husband recently. Joe is a willing traveler, and no one approaches the gauntlet of Disney World reservations and ride prep with as much determination as him, but he is largely devoid of the wanderlust that has propelled me through my life.

The uncertainty, the inability to guess when we’ll again get to go places is what, to me, feels so defeating right now. A trip with my extended family to the Chesapeake Bay in June has been cancelled. My son’s annual birthday weekend at my mother-in-law’s cottage in the woods has been postponed. We don’t know if our annual trip to Cape Cod will take place. Even events farther out such as a trip to celebrate my son’s bar mitzvah and my 40th birthday getaway with girlfriends who I’ve known since elementary school: they are all on hold. For us, for everyone.

My husband and I were students on a budget, when we first started dating, and our trips weren’t always far-flung or exciting. They didn’t have to be: Being together and exploring any new place or even revisiting a place that had special significance to one of us was a thrill and a way to forge a deeper bond. Sure, we’ve had some large trips in the nearly 18 years we have been together, but many of them haven’t required a passport and often they have needed less than a full tank of gas.

When our kids were little, our idea of travel and our expectations changed and, but it still felt fundamental. My husband and I came to Philadelphia (where we first met) with our colicky, sleep averse infant for a week. Almost everyone thought we were crazy: “Don’t you want to be at home with all your stuff?”

No, I wanted to get out of the Twilight Zone of diaper changes, walking around the neighborhood in a daze for four hours a day to get our child to stop screaming and sleep, and post-partum anxiety. I didn’t know what exactly I was doing as a parent, but I felt like I wasn’t doing it very well. One thing I could do well: Plan how to fill our days in a city I loved by visiting with old friends, eating at familiar restaurants and trying new ones and traversing a beloved city with our new child. I still walked around in a daze for four hours a day to get our son to sleep, but there were brief moments during that trip when I felt like me again, the me who had more to talk about than how many times my child woke up last night and when I was planning to introduce solids.

Our kids are 9 and almost 12, and this quarantine has been the longest time in their lives without travel. They have adapted to homebody status better than I thought, especially since my daughter has been known to ask, “So, where are we going next?” while in the process of unpacking. But at times I’m really struggling with this suspended season of our lives, even though I know it’s important for everyone to pause.

Travel felt and continues to feel akin to hope. I can’t tell you how many times my husband and I have written, “I can’t wait to go on more adventures with you!” in cards and notes as a promise of what we hope will fill our future days. As an immune-compromised person, I have trouble imagining jumping back into action, especially long haul flights, the way I used to. I don’t think our family’s days of travel are over by a long shot, but I do wonder how it’ll be changed for all of us. Ironically, nothing has ever reinforced my belief in our shared humanity as much as travel. I have been grateful for every trip I have taken, but I never realized how much I took for granted that there would always be an opportunity for more, more, more.

Other than the multiple long walks I take with our dog every day, I have spent little time actually going anywhere or planning to travel and a lot of time thinking about the journeys, big and small, that are now in my past: To Ethiopia to bring home our daughter, to Cumberland Island and a sunset framed by a fringe of trees that has since become my go-to meditation backdrop or to my parents’ house, where we all gather and reminisce and just hang out. Travel magazines, which I clip and dog-ear and keep for way too long, continue to arrive in my mailbox, and I allow myself a little armchair voyage and try to ignore the feelings that bubble up when I think about how long it’s been since we’ve traveled and how long it still may be until we do so again.

And yet, on Saturday, the kids and I got in the car for the first time in a month. We picked up the seedlings we had prepurchased from a community garden fundraiser and then buckled up again to head home. Suddenly, I felt the thrill of being out of the house, of going somewhere, of possibilities.

“Do you want to go for a ride?” I asked my kids.

“Yes!!” my daughter cheered immediately.

My son, closer to teenagedom and more suspicious, wanted to first know, “Where?”

We ended up ordering bubble tea from a place near my daughter’s ballet studio. In typical times, we go there often, almost weekly, and it had become an afterthought, barely even a “special treat” anymore.

But as we drove the short distance with a plan in place (albeit a very small one), the sun was out, the city traffic was light, and we put the windows down and turned the radio up.

“This is so fun!” my daughter laughed giddily. “It’s like an adventure!”

And for a brief moment, it really was.

Virginia-born and raised, Marni Fogelson has happily settled in Philadelphia with her husband, two kids, and beloved dog. Co-chair of a local literacy non-profit and a freelance writer, Marni is happiest with a book in one hand and a cup of tea in the other.

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Creating Great Study Spaces for Students

By Gil Gibori

Photo: The House

Our inability to perform at a high-level is often a direct result of our environment. Think about how you feel on a rainy day compared to a sunny one, or, in a bright room instead of a room that’s dimly lit. The temperature can even affect you. All of these factors influence our mood, energy, and productivity.

So, if the environment plays such a crucial role, why are we expecting our kids to learn in an environment not conducive to learning?

As it stands, the average American school isn’t set up to optimize student performance. Most classrooms today consist of an inspirational poster or two, a whiteboard at the front of the room, and desks filed in neat rows—similar to the classroom you or I might have sat in 20 years ago.

The design is based on a one-size-fits-all model. A desk, for example, was created with the average student in mind—both physically and emotionally, but what we’ve learned over time is that there is no average student, so why haven’t more schools evolved to include seating arrangements more helpful to today’s learners and teaching styles?

A 2012 study in the U.K. found that classroom design could enhance or setback a student’s academic progress up to 25% during the course of a year.

And it’s not just the classroom that isn’t working. Spaces that we typically dedicate to homework also aren’t ideal. Take a look at your home, for example. There are so many distractions, from phones and television to noise created by siblings. Many home environments are too chaotic to allow a student to concentrate on getting work done.

Since space can either inhibit or improve learning, it would make sense to create environments that give the modern student more flexibility, similar to what we see in learning at the university level or in today’s workforce where many adults choose to work away from their desks.

Here are some examples of other study space solutions for students:

Grab the books and a cup of coffee. The library can be a great space for a student who needs complete silence to learn best. Conversely, a coffee house can be a great option for a student who likes a bit more external stimulus, or a place for small-group studying. With a pair of headphones, it can also be a good environment for tuning out the world and getting into the zone.

Soak up the natural environment. Studies have demonstrated the numerous benefits that come from spending more time in the great outdoors, like improving short-term memory and reducing stress. Many of those benefits can improve a student’s focus and attention. Studying or doing homework outside gives students the opportunity to get fresh air that helps clear their minds, destress, and access their creativity.

Choose a creative co-working space for kids. Most cities offer a variety of after-school spaces for students to do schoolwork among peers, encouraging collaboration. These spaces help cultivate an environment where they can relax, learn, and grow in a positive way. By offering different options, students get to find the best climate for them to work in and thrive where they feel most comfortable.

With the many issues facing education today, creating environments that can promote learning, boost confidence, and produce positive feelings about education can be one of the most cost-effective, easy solutions we can implement to enhance our children’s education.

Gil is CEO and founder of The House, an on-demand, parent-free tutoring lounge for students. The House has revolutionized tutoring by giving students a space they can learn and grow on their own terms. Currently based in Glencoe, IL, Gil is looking at expanding the concept into new communities nationwide.

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Eat Smart, Mama: How to Curb Stress & Increase Energy

By Peggy Kotsopoulos

Editor’s note: Any medical advice presented here is expressly the views of the writer and Red Tricycle cannot verify any claims made. Please consult with your healthcare provider about what works best for you.

Stress and energy are intertwined, the more relaxed you are, the more energized you’ll be. The reverse also holds true as stress is the biggest energy sucker. What you eat plays a profound way in how you feel. Here are a few food tips to help you curb stress and increase energy:

1. Drink Water

The most common cause of fatigue is dehydration! If there is not enough fluid in your body, blood volume can drop. As a result, your body (and heart) must work harder in order to supply your cells with oxygen and nutrients. And if your body is working so hard on the inside, what do you think happens to physical and mental energy levels? Poor hydration results in mental fogginess, poor short-term memory, dizziness and fatigue. As a rule of thumb: drink half your body weight in ounces in a day.

2. Nosh on B Vitamin-rich Foods

B vitamins are stress-busting nutrients—especially B6, B12, folic acid and niacinare essential in the production of neurotransmitters. But while B6 is the most important for busting stress and boosting energy, it’s also the first to be depleted in the presence of stress. A lack of B6 could lead to depression due to its inability to produce the feel-good neurotransmitter serotonin. And because B vitamins are water-soluble, they don’t hang around in your body very long—so it’s critical to ingest them throughout the day. Turn towards foods high in B vitamins such as fatty fish, red and green peppers, hazelnuts, raw cashews, spinach, bananas, potatoes and turnip greens.

3. Eat Your Greens

One of the key benefits of eating greens include their rich chlorophyll content.  Chlorophyll increases the number of red blood cells in your body, which help deliver oxygen to your cells. The more oxygen to your cells means more nutrients will be absorbed resulting in more energy . Foods such as kale, collars, spinach, broccoli, sprouts and sea veggies are all loaded in this important nutrient. Plus, they are rich other key energy boosting nutrients, such as iron, b-vitamins and tyrosine. Amazing for boosting energy and health!

4. Add Adaptogens

Adaptogens are nutrients found in herbs that increase the body’s ability to resist and adapt to stress. They can help alleviate anxiety, stress and trauma by restoring the body’s natural balance and homeostasis. Believe it or not, the more relaxed you are the more energy you’ll have over the long haul. The inability to relax after a stressful day keeps cortisol (stress hormone) levels on overdrive. This prevents good quality sleep because it reduces REM sleep and increases fatigue.  You might sleep eight hours a night but wake up still not feeling rested. If this is the case, it’s typically linked to excess cortisol.  Supplementing with adaptogenic herbs like Maca, Relora or Ashwaghanda can help mitigate cortisol levels and boost energy.  Or try a calming adaptogenic tea, such as Tulsi (aka Holy Basil) before bed to help you chill.

5. Complex Carbohydrates

Carbohydrates get a bad rap, but they can, in fact, help chill you out. Studies show that carbs can reduce stress levels, improve mental performance and help mitigate stress-induced depression. They increase serotonin levels in the brain, our feel-good neurotransmitter, and promote a feeling of calmness. However, the issue lies in the type of carbs consumed. Simple, refined carbs may make us feel better temporarily, but the effects are extremely short-lived. On the other hand, complex carbohydrates such as sweet potatoes, quinoa and oats are slow-releasing carbs that keep us more satiated and feeling less anxious for longer periods of time. Whole grains, such as quinoa and amaranth, and sweet potatoes are also rich in b-vitamins, which are essential to help convert the amino acids into neurotransmitters and help to reduce stress and supports the adrenal glands.  The key is to ensure the carbs you are eating are packed with fiber and if possible, protein. However, if you are stressed and find yourself reaching for a bag of cookies, vs bowl of quinoa, choose a better for you option, like Lenny & Larry’s the Complete Crunchy Cookies that pack in fiber and protein.

I'm the author of Kitchen Cures, a Nutritionist and Culinary Consultant focused on teaching real health through lifest‌yle and dietary choices that are easy and delicious! I'm dedicated to promoting long-term health and vitality. And I'm on a mission… to make REAL health mainstream! 

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5 Basic Strategies to Control Toddler Temper Tantrums

By Maria Fernandez

Some children find it difficult to accept their frustrations and resort to expressing their discomfort in the form of a temper tantrum. Take note of how you can keep calm and keep them under control with the following guidelines.

From the moment they are born, children begin to show their frustrations, angers or disappointments. At first they will do so by crying, but as they grow, some can do it through screaming, crying or tantrumsing (that’s a word, right lol?), which is more commonly known as a toddler tantrum.

This is because at certain ages, emotions and feelings are a little complicated to control. There are children who tend to only get angry occasionally and who are able to control their feelings. I personally haven’t seen them in my family but I’m sure they exist!

Knowing how to manage these tantrums is a difficult job for both children and parents, and it is here that the parental patience will have a fundamental role in getting these skills to be successfully developed.

How to teach children to express their emotions
It Is important that we know more or less how to interpret the cause of these tantrums. I say “more or less” because it is not an exact science and many times, as humans, we are mistaken for the mere fact that these patterns of behavior are not easy to identify.

Sometimes, these tantrums can be the result of a delay in the development of the language, even if this is minimal, that is, that our son or daughter, don’t fully command a language yet  so they don’t know how to fully express themselves. There is also a cause-effect and/or repetition pattern with tantrums. For example, if at any time after a tantrum a child was rewarded, they learn to repeat it because he knows that through these tantrums, he/she will manage to get their way. Alternatively, tantrums can merely be the result of fatigue. A tired child is a restless child. Hell, a tired adult is no good either!

Consider five basic keys to be able to control the tantrums of our little ones.

1. Set clear boundaries and limits. Objectivity is essential for the application of these limits, meaning that you should mark them in a concrete way with clear and specific orders.

Another way to limit our children while granting the power of decision so that they feel somewhat in control and that their voices have been is to give them the opportunity to choose between two options. For example: “You Have to wear a coat, do you prefer brown or red?” And of course, the firmness, which can be demonstrated through a sure tone of voice with a serious facial gesture to make them understand that this is no time to joke.

2. It Is very important to earn the confidence of our children and this is only possible through the truth. Telling them the truth will create a bond that strengthen bonds between parents and children over time.

3. It Is essential to pay as little attention as possible to the child when he is enraged, even ignoring It. At this time, our child is demanding our attention and here our role will be to divert it and the most effective way to do so is to ignore them so that they understand that this is not the right attitude and method to go about things.

4. When The tantrum lasts too long or the child begins to exhibit overly aggressive behaviors, we can isolate him in a place where he feels safe, such as his room, so that he can calm down and, after a few minutes, we can try speaking to him again in order to fully understand the motives behind his frustration. Again, not responding, rewarding, or acquiescing to a child’s rants will re-enforce the fact that this behavior is not ok.

5. The last recommendation, would be not to punish the child for every tantrum, because as we discussed above, they are sometimes the result of a child’s inability to express themself properly and are a natural part of growing up.

Look, it’s normal for children (and parents) to suffer through temper tantrums when kids are young. It is part of the maturing process and the development of their self-control. The key is knowing how to respond and of course…patience…lots and lots of patience!

Im a new Hispanic mother in the United States here to offer tips for new parents about the best products for their little ones.

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How to Back Up Your Flickr Photos, STAT

by Erica Loop

The recent changes to the Flickr photo policy mean one thing for many users—you need to back up your photos. Do it now—don’t lose all those baby pics!

Just in case you haven’t heard about this major change, Flickr made a serious policy change when it comes to storage space. Instead of allowing free photo storage, the site will now either limit the number of photos a member can add to under 1,000 or require them to pay $50 for unlimited storage.

Flickr initially gave members until Feb. 5 to back up their pics or face deletion. But due to server issues (along with user complaints), the site is extending its deadline. Reports surfaced recently that long download times and the inability to download more than 500 photos at one time have made it near-impossible for high-storage users to get their pics in time.

So how long do you actually have to complete a Flickr photo backup? Members with 1,000+ photos now have until Mar. 12 to back up their excess pics. If you choose to do nothing, Flickr will start deleting the oldest photos first after that date. To backup your photos use the master download everything button (caution here, this may take waaaay more time than you would like) or create a download request for individual pics. You’ll get a zip file from Flickr with your photos.

—Erica Loop

Featured Photo: Stock Snap via Pixabay

 

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Amazon Is Hiring 200+ Work-from-Home Positions

by Erica Loop

If the thought of rush hour traffic, a teeny tiny cubicle and the inability to take an hour off to catch your kiddo’s mid-day school holiday party turns your stomach, then here’s something you’ll want (scratch that, need) to know: Amazon is hiring 200 virtual positions. For parents looking for a flexible working environment, there’s nothing like a work-from-home position and with a company as big as Amazon, you can be pretty confident about job security, too.

Yep. The online retail marketplace giant isn’t just hiring people to work at their Seattle headquarters. Heck, they’re also not just hiring people to packaging, ship and deliver all of those cardboard boxes that you order almost daily.

Photo: Christin Hume via Unsplash

Along with these types of IRL jobs, Amazon has plenty of jobs listed in “Virtual Locations.” So what can you do if you want to work for Amazon from the comforts of home (or your local Starbucks)?

There are jobs in customer service, especially if you’re fluent in another language such as Spanish of Japanese. But if you aren’t into talking to customers, don’t worry. There are still tons of other jobs open. There are jobs in quality assurance, inventory control, software development, sales, network operations and account management—and much more.

How can you score one of these work from home jobs at Amazon? Simply visit their website’s “jobs” section and click on Virtual Locations. Wherever you are in your career, good luck!

—Erica Loop

Featured photo: Matthew Henry via Burst

 

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