ML Interest Tag: inequality

How to Honor the Real Story of Thanksgiving with Kids

By Meghan Fitzgerald

In the midst of preparing for a family feast each year, we’ve also wrestled with how to talk to our kids about Thanksgiving. We want our children to learn from and do their part in changing the inequality in their world, and perpetuating the Thanksgiving story we were taught in elementary school runs squarely at odds with that mission.

Related: 10 Ways Parents Can Fight for Social Justice Every Day

But, it can be hard to know how and when to start having the true story of Thanksgiving conversation with kids. So first, remember that we don’t need to nail this by the time the turkey hits the table. This is ongoing and important work to do all year round. Following are a few ideas and resources that are helping our family to lay a foundation that, we hope, will help our kids respect and respond to real history in a way that supports a better future.

Build a Foundation for Knowing & Respecting Native Peoples 

Start by teaching children real stories and truths about Native and Indigenous peoples, both from the past and the present. The more our children can be curious and aware of people for their strengths and rich history, the more they will push back on stereotypes and absorb the real history in a way that makes them compelled to act.

Here are a few easy ways to do this, even with very young children:

  • Learn about the people who live or used to live on the land in your area. Use an app like native-land.ca to find out which people live/lived and which languages are/were spoken on the land on which you live. Search for “native people from {city, state or region}” or “indigenous people from {city, state or region}. Then, look for historically accurate accounts of how those people thrived, being aware of the limitations of the perspective of whoever has created them.
  • Read books that help children come to know about Native peoples and prepare them to push back against stereotypes. For starters, check out this list of 15 beautiful picture books by Native authors about Native protagonists assembled by veteran Tinkergarten Leaders Erika McLemore, who is Creek-Seminole, and Cholena Smith-Boyd of the Shinnecock Indian Nation. As you select more books on your own, consult a reputable resource like Dr. Debbie Reese, a researcher focused on the representation of Native Americans in children’s literature. Through her expert advice, my family has learned how to pick books that are about specific tribes or Native peoples, avoiding the kind of generalizations that lead to stereotypes.
  • Incorporate Native history into everyday outdoor play. As you are walking in a forest or along a river in your area, share something you’ve learned about the Native people who live/lived and what makes/made them special as a group or society.
  • Continue learning. Read more from Indigenous Vision about how to build inclusive communities and support Indigenous youth.

Question History Together 

When you feel your kids are ready, work with them to question and point out the mismatches between the accurate history and the often perpetuated Thanksgiving Story. To start:

  • Get to know the true story of Thanksgiving story yourself. PBS Kids offers wonderful resources for parents and educators on how to approach Thanksgiving with authenticity. These resources also help us parents better understand, for ourselves, the story of the people we call Pilgrims, their interaction with the Wampanoag people, and the full history of the holiday we’ve come to know as Thanksgiving.
  • Don’t be afraid to share with children that there is more to the story. It’s important to help them understand that the familiar story that has been shared for a long time is over-simplified and, as such, can even be hurtful to whole groups of people as well as the allies of those people. One way you can present the disparity to kids is, that although there was a feast between the Pilgrims and the Wampanoag, it happened during a time of terrible cruelty and unthinkable loss to the Wampanoag.
  • Seek out additional tools for learning. This New York Times article has helped us use both age-appropriate resources and inquiry to start engaging our kids in conversation about Thanksgiving. For example, it has encouraged us to help our kids ask “Who is telling the story, and what is their perspective? How is this story different from other accounts and facts that we now know?”

Focus on Gratitude 

While it’s essential that we help our children become more attuned to inequality and injustice, telling the true story of Thanksgiving doesn’t have to undermine our practice of sharing gratitude. You can even kickstart an annual gratitude tradition that’s respectful of Native history. Once you learn about the original caretakers of the land you live on, it becomes easy to express thanks for all they’ve done to preserve its natural beauty as part of Thanksgiving.

Be sure to help kids reflect on what they’re grateful for in their day-to-day lives, too. For many years, our family has focused our Thanksgiving on expressing thanks for our family, our health, our earth, and whatever else feels authentic to our kids. We engage in rituals like building a tree of thanks to make this even more concrete for them, and fun for us. This has extended far beyond Thanksgiving for us as well, helping us use simple rituals to develop a gratitude practice as a family and improve our own mental well-being in the process.

However you choose to celebrate this holiday, remember that while we cannot change history, we can make our children alert to who is telling and what needs to be told about the story. It’s the only way our kids will learn to do their part to make sure better stories are written in their time.

This post originally appeared on Tinkergarten.

After 18 years as an educator, curriculum developer and school leader, Meghan has her dream gig—an entrepreneur/educator/mom who helps families everywhere, including hers, learn outside. Today, Meghan serves as co-founder and Chief Learning Officer of Tinkergarten, the national leader in outdoor play-based learning. 

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19 Interesting Facts about Frederick Douglass

by Amber Guetebier

Did you know that Frederick Douglass was nominated to be Vice President of the United States? Educate the kiddos (and re-educate yourself) on this founding father whose outstanding contributions to society broke ground, broke color barriers, and changed the course of history. Here are facts about Frederick Douglass you might not know. To continue the conversation with your kids, check out 25 Black history figures kids should know. 

Frederick Douglas is an important Black history figure kids need to learn about
Wikimedia Commons

1. He chose the last name Douglass from a poem.
Frederick Douglass was born Frederick Augustus Washington Bailey. He was born into slavery in Maryland in 1818. Although both of his parents were enslaved people, Frederick never really knew his mother as she worked on a different plantation, and he never met his father. Later, when Frederick married, he chose the last name Douglass after the hero clan in Sir Walter Scott's famous poem, Lady of the Lake. 

Tip: For younger kids who don't know the history of slavery in the United States, have a conversation with them on a level they will understand. We recommend reading a few (or all) of these books that encourage open discussion about racial injustice and inequality.

2. He taught himself to read and write.
A widely known fact about Frederick Douglass is that although he did not attend school (Black children were not allowed), he understood the power and value of literacy. And so, he taught himself to read and write at a young age.

3. He disguised himself as a sailor to escape slavery.
Young Frederick read avidly and educated himself on the rights of every person to be free. After several unsuccessful attempts to escape slavery, he finally managed to, thanks to a free Black woman named Anne Murray. She helped him pay for a train ticket north. Disguised as a sailor, he escaped on Sep. 3, 1838. He was 20 years old.

4. He picked his birthday.
Here's a fact about Frederick Douglass you might not know: After he was freed from slavery, Douglass chose February 14th as his birthday.

5. He married the woman who helped him escape.
Not long after his successful escape, Frederick married Anne Murray, and they took the last name, Douglass. They moved to New Bedford, Massachusetts, and together had five children.

6. Douglass was an abolitionist.
An abolitionist is a person who wants to get rid of (abolish) a practice or institution. Specifically, the abolitionist movement sought to be rid of slavery.

7. Despite the risk of recapture, he was an active speaker and employed by the Massachusetts Anti-Slavery Society. He traveled throughout the northern and midwestern states, speaking on behalf of the anti-slavery movement. Once, he had to travel to Ireland and England to avoid being recaptured. But he never stopped speaking out.

8. He was a prolific author.
Frederick Douglass was an excellent writer and wrote several works during his lifetime, including three autobiographies: The Narrative of the Life of Frederick Douglass, an American Slave (1845), My Bondage and My Freedom (1855) and The Life and Times of Frederick Douglass (1881). These are still considered today to be of unparalleled value to the historical narrative of our country.

9. He was also a publisher and an editor.
In addition to being a speaker and author of books, he published a paper for more than 16 years. He owned his own printing press and started the publication of The North Star. (Remember, he taught himself to read and write!!)

10. He fought for women’s rights and desegregation in the North.
While there was no active slavery in the northern states, segregation was rampant, and African Americans were still considered second-class citizens. Douglass challenged this in his speeches and his publications.

An interesting fact about Frederick Douglass is that his second wife was white.
Wikimedia Commons

11. His second marriage broke ground, too.
Sadly, Douglass’ beloved wife Anna died in 1881 of a stroke. Several years later, Douglass remarried activist Helen Pitts. Helen was white, and their interracial marriage was widely criticized. Undeterred, Douglass and Helen continued traveling and advocating on behalf of equality and justice everywhere. He died of a heart attack in 1895 at the age of 77.

12. He met with President Abraham Lincoln.
During the Civil War—which erupted in 1861 over the issue of slavery— black soldiers were given lesser pay and non-equal treatment. Douglass met with Lincoln to advocate on behalf of the soldiers. Douglass had two sons who served in the Army, and he actively recruited African Americans to fight in the Civil War. Douglass, along with many others, spoke out for equal citizenship and the emancipation (freeing) of all slaves. After the war, Douglass fought for the 13th Amendment (which abolished slavery), the 14th Amendment (which granted citizenship to those born in the United States as enslaved persons), and the 15th Amendment (giving voting rights to men of all color—women would not gain the right to vote until the 19th Amendment in 1920).

13. There are plaques in his honor in Ireland and England.
In 2012 the Imperial Hotel in Cork, Ireland, has a plaque commemorating Douglass’ visit. The Waterford City Hall (in Waterford, Ireland), where Douglass once gave a speech has a plaque. And in South Kensington, London, you can visit the Nell Gwynn House, where Douglass stayed during his visit.

14. In 1965, Douglass was honored on a USPS stamp.
The stamp was designed during the Civil Rights movement of the 1960s by Walter DuBois Richards and was based on a photograph provided by Douglass' family.

15. Washington Douglass Commonwealth?
Although Washington D.C. is part of the United States, it is not considered a state. In November 2016, voters passed a measure that would petition for statehood. The new state would be known as the State of Washington D.C., but D.C. will no longer stand for the District of Columbia. It will stand for Douglass Commonwealth (named after Frederick Douglass).

16. He never gave up.
Douglass worked tirelessly for justice. He served council in many prestigious positions, including legislative council member of the D.C. Territorial Government, President of Freedman’s Bank, Recorder of Deeds for D.C., Minister Resident, and Consul General to Haiti.

17. He worked for five different U.S. Presidents.
Starting with President Rutherford B. Hayes in 1877, he then worked for Presidents Garfield, Arthur, Cleveland, and Harrison as the U.S. Marshal for D.C.

18. He was once nominated for Vice President.
In 1872, he found himself on the ballot with Victoria Woodhull, who picked him as her Vice Presidential running mate for the Equal Rights Party—without his knowledge. He never acknowledged he was even chosen to run, likely because he had already backed another presidential candidate.

19. There are over 160 different portraits of him.
Another interesting fact about Frederick Douglass was that he was the most photographed man of the 19th century. He called photography a "democratic act" and gave away his pictures at lectures he held to normalize seeing Black people as humans rather than possessions.

7 Ways to Honor Douglass' Legacy Today

J Dean via Unsplash

1. Identify injustice. Ask your kids to find an issue they feel is unjust or an instance where someone has been treated unfairly. Talk about how it makes them feel and what they can do to change it.

2. Write a speech. Have the kiddos write or recite a few words advocating their point of view on an issue they feel strongly about.

3. Read to them. Douglass knew his key to freedom was education. Spend some time reading and writing with the kids. Here’s our current list of Black History books for kids; a great place to start. 

4. Talk with Douglass. Ask your kids to imagine they can ask Frederick Douglass a question. What would it be? What do they think the answer would be?

5. Draw Douglass. There are several excellent photos you can find of Douglass online. Look at the ones in this post or draw a scene of Douglass giving a speech.

6. Find an Example. Is there a modern-day Frederick Douglass your kids can identify with? Talk about the qualities that make someone a fearless leader and activist.

7. Visit Living History. Rochester, NY, was home to Douglass from 1847 to 1842. This is where he published his newspapers and where you will find his grave (in the same cemetery as Susan B. Anthony). Click here to learn more about finding Frederick Douglass in Rochester. You can also visit the Frederick Douglass National Historic Site in Washington, D.C. 

 

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How I Explain Racism to My White Friends (So They Can Explain It to Their Kids)

by Ayren Jackson-Cannady

Editor’s note: At Red Tricycle, we stand for justice, humanity and equal rights. We stand with Black families, co-workers, partners and the community to speak out against racism. We also stand for education and connection. Our writer, Ayren Jackson-Cannady, offers us not only perspective here but real, actionable ways to make positive change.


…and what to do when you just don’t have the words.

Last year, when my husband and I took our kids to a state fair, it was the first time our son was tall enough to ride a “scary” ride. Of course, the ride he chose (hello, Kamikaze!) was also the most popular with an estimated 30-minute wait time. Just when I was ready to throw in the funnel cake and find a new thrill ride, a family of stilt walkers—a mom, dad, and two kids—toddled towards us, stopping nearby for a quick performance. 

They did karate kicks and jumping jacks. They hopped on one foot and then the other. They did a very elaborate chicken dance. The mom stilt walker even hula hooped…while juggling!

My attention quickly shifted from “this line is never going to move” to “how in the world are these people (these kids!) maneuvering with those things tied to their feet?”

So it goes with race and injustice. 

Being Black in America is like being a stilt walker.

In order to get from point A to point B, it’s necessary to maintain a very specific amount of balance. Leaning too much to one side or the other—being too loud, too quiet, too educated, too uneducated, too this, too that—can be detrimental.

And, it doesn’t matter how skilled you are. It doesn’t matter how far you climb the corporate ladder. It doesn’t matter how much joy you bring into the lives of others or how AWESOME you are. When you miss a beat or skip a step (or go jogging…or birding…or shopping…) the bumps in the road of injustice can bring you down—and bring you down hard. 

Question: Have you ever seen a stilt walker get back up on their own after a tumble? Nope. Because, guess what? They can’t. Stilt walkers rely on helpers on the ground to dust them off and lift them back up. White Americans who don’t have to walk on the stilts of inequality have the ability—the privilege—to be the helpers for communities of color. 

Stepping out of the shadow of privilege is making someone else’s struggle your struggle.

It’s kicking those pebbles of racial injustice out of the way to prevent the tragic wrecks. And when Black moms, dads, and kids start to wobble, it’s steadying them by grabbing a stilt until balance is found.

And if the words never come. That’s okay, too. Sometimes—er, all the time—actions speak louder than words. Here are some things that you can DO with your kids that will help to open their eyes to race and injustice:

Read with them.

Even if they’re 10 and think they’re grown and too old to be read to…there are a bajillion books out there that address the topic of bias, diversity and injustice in a way that kids get. Start here: 

Connect with families not like your own.

Sure, you might have to do that virtually now. But when it’s safe for everyone, get together to serve other families in your community that might need help. Remember: It’s all about steadying those who are walking on stilts. 

Play!

 Surround your kids with toys and playthings that help cultivate appreciation and acceptance for people that don’t look like them. These are fun: 

 

Watch films or TV shows that help educate on the topic of race and inequality.

If your kids have been watching a lot of television lately, they’re not alone. The next time they’re begging to turn on the TV, put one of these on for them:

This “stilts” example of how I envision race and injustice working may go completely over your kids’ heads (full transparency: I tried to explain it to my five-year-old and I completely lost her at the hula hooping mom). But I share all of this to say that the key to being able to talk to our kids about the injustices that have happened and continue to happen to Black people in the United States is to try to fully understand them ourselves. Once we know our history (because, news flash, Black history is everyone’s history) and we can comprehend the complexities of injustice, then we can openly and honestly communicate it to our kids. 

—Ayren Jackson-Cannady

RELATED STORIES 

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This Author Compiled a List of 500 Diverse Books for Teens & Tweens 

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Books to Help Celebrate National Women’s History Month

By Keira Pride

Photo: Stratford School

The evolution of Women’s History Month spans nearly five decades, beginning with  International Women’s Day, celebrated on March 8. Over time, congressional resolutions led to presidential proclamations and by 1995, March had become the designated month to honor women’s contributions to American history—to celebrate stories of remarkable women whose historic accomplishments had largely been relegated to the footnotes of history books. Early celebrations focused on the U.S. suffrage movement and highlighted contributions of a galaxy of pioneers—from Abigail Adams to Harriett Tubman—as well as women who were “firsts:” the first Supreme Court justice, first astronaut, first female Nobel Prize recipient, and so many more!

A century after the nineteenth amendment to the U.S. Constitution gave women the right to vote, and decades after that first weeklong celebration of women’s history, Women’s History Month celebrations have evolved to include recognition of contemporary women heroes—a new generation—as well as their predecessors, the pioneers. It is in that spirit that we curated this month’s book selections—stories about women and stories by women: a beloved children’s book author whose most famous work was once “banned” from the library, an astronaut inspired by the first woman astronaut, and a Supreme Court Justice. Our list includes two compilations of short biographies of remarkable and inspiring women—Michelle Obama among them. Finally, inspired by Korean mythology, Dragon Pearl is the story of Min, a superhero on a mission, who overwhelms the vengeful with cleverness and bravery.

We hope you will enjoy reading these books with your children or perhaps hearing the stories retold once they have finished.

Grades Kindergarten to Second

The Important Thing About Margaret Wise Brown written by Mac Barnett, illustrated by Sarah Jacoby
Once upon a time, most children’s books began with that sentence. And once upon a time, wonderful books that did not fit a certain mold were banned from libraries.

Children’s book author Margaret Wise Brown wrote stories that were different—books that helped children understand their own feelings. She fervently believed that children deserved important books. Goodnight Moon and The Runaway Bunny paved the way for contemporary writers to create books such as The Book With No Pictures, and Sam and Dave Dig A Hole.  Margaret Wise Brown did not accept the New York Public Library’s decision to ban her book and staged a peaceful protest on the steps of the library to make sure that she was heard.

Mae Among the Stars written by Roda Ahmed, illustrated by Stasia Burrington
Mae Among the Stars is a beautifully illustrated picture book that will inspire other young girls to reach for the stars and aspire for the impossible. When Mae Jemison was a child, she wanted to be an astronaut and dreamed of dancing among billions of stars.  Mae Jemison’s curiosity, intelligence, and determination, matched with her parents’ encouraging words, paved the way for her incredible success at NASA as the first African American woman to travel in space.

Grades 3-4

I Dissent : Ruth Bader Ginsburg Makes Her Mark written by Debbie Levy, illustrated by Elizabeth Baddeley
Get to know celebrated Supreme Court justice Ruth Bader Ginsburg! This picture book biography of Justice Ginsburg traces her achievements in the field of law back to her girlhood years as she proves that disagreeing does not make you disagreeable. Supreme Court Justice Ruth Bader Ginsburg has spent a lifetime disagreeing: disagreeing with inequality, arguing against unfair treatment, and standing up for what’s right for people everywhere. I Dissent demonstrates how her fearless objections to the inequality not only led the way to her career as a Supreme Court justice but also contributed to dismantling many discriminatory laws that prevented equal treatment.

Muslim Girls Rise: Inspirational Champions of Our Time written by Saira Mir,  illustrated by Aaliya Jal
These nineteen inspirational snapshots of modern Muslim women doing extraordinary work in their fields will inspire and motivate your young reader! While overcoming many obstacles, each earned in their given field—among them science, fashion, and sports. Shirin Ebadi, won the Nobel Peace Prize, only to have it taken from her by the government because she is a woman. Yet she remains outspoken. Ilhan Omar fled Somalia at the age of eight, spending years in refugee camps. She found ways to get involved in her community, then made history as the first Somalia-American to the United States House of representatives. The complicated situations surrounding some of the women are described in a way that is easily digestible by children.

Grades 5-8

Dragon Pearl written by Yoon Ha Lee
Dragon Pearl is a fast-paced Korean-inspired space adventure. It follows Min, a teenage fox spirit, who leaves a backward poor world to find her missing space cadet brother, Jun, as well as a powerful relic, the Dragon Pearl. Like all fox spirits, Min has Charm—the ability to influence minds and shape-shift into whatever she wants. Her quest involves leaving the comforts of home, hitching a ride on a spaceship, impersonating a space cadet, and going to a ghost planet. Min will be forced to use more fox magic than ever before, and to rely on her cleverness and bravery to defeat vengeful beings and find her brother.

Become a Leader Like Michelle Obama—Work It, Girl Series written by Caroline Moss, illustrated by Sinem Erkas
This chapter book is part of a new series of biographies written for children about modern, inspirational women in various areas, including astronaut Mae Jemison and author J.K. Rowling. Michelle Obama’s life is detailed with everything from her humble beginnings in South Chicago, to her hard work at Princeton and Harvard Universities, leading up to her role as the first African American First Lady. The artwork, accompanied by inspiring quotes, has a unique and powerful cut-out st‌yle.

Keira Pride is the Head Librarian at Stratford School, the leading independent private school founded with a vision of creating a unique, multi-dimensional, educational foundation for children. As Stratford's Head Librarian, she manages the library services department across campuses throughout Northern and Southern California. 

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How to Teach Your Kids Valuable Financial Lessons at Every Age

By Allison Kade

Kids have lots of questions about the world around them—especially as they bear witness to a pandemic and a historical economic downturn. It’s hard enough to juggle working from home while managing snack time and overseeing Zoom classes, but this unexpected together time can be a good opportunity to teach kids important life lessons. Maybe even some lessons we wish we learned earlier in life, ourselves.

Here’s how to make sure you’re financially stable and teach your kids money lessons, from year one to 10.

The First Year: Think Long Term

When your child is born, your attention is probably absorbed by swaddles and sleep timers, and stroller attachments. But now’s actually a great time to apply for term life insurance, if you haven’t already, and to start thinking about a college savings plan. Taking care of these things now means you can feel more secure sooner—and get back to cuddling that little mushball.

1-Year-Olds: Look for Reward Points 

At one year, babies expand their nutritional requirements. If you’re looking to further optimize your grocery budget, consider looking into credit cards with reward points at the grocery store you shop at. Even small amounts can add up over time.

2-Year-Olds: Have the Money Talk & Have It Regularly

It’s important to stay on the same page with your partner when it comes to your family’s finances. And with the kids always around these days, it’s a good opportunity to explain that you and your spouse talk regularly about your finances, your values, and what’s most important for your family.

3-Year-Olds: Create (or Update) Your Will

The first few years of your child’s life have been busy. We get it. But a last will and testament gives you the chance to state who should look after your kids if something were to happen to you. With Fabric, you can create a will online or via the app in minutes, learn how to make it legally binding and share it with your partner.

4-Year-Olds: Start Thinking about Allowance

The right amount varies by family, but a ballpark might be $1 per age (meaning $4 for a 4-year-old) each week. The goal of allowance at this stage is just to get your child used to basic concepts around how money works, understanding the importance of saving—and delayed gratification.

5-Year-Olds: Explain ‘Wants’ vs. ‘Needs’

While you’re online shopping, especially during the upcoming holiday season, pause to discuss whether purchases are wants or needs. Explain why you’ve decided to buy certain items. It’s also a good idea to make it clear that your child’s allowance should go toward purchasing “wants,” while you’ll still cover the family’s “needs.”

6-Year-Olds: Make Money More Visible

To help jumpstart your kids’ financial literacy, next time you take your credit card out or start to pay bills online, pause. Call your child over to explain what you’re doing and how it affects your family’s finances.

7-Year-Olds: Share Household Responsibilities

Your 7-year-old is capable of completing some household chores. Assigning little tasks will lighten your load, prepare them to be a responsible adult and teach them that life requires hard work.

8-Year-Olds: Talk about the Cost of Extracurriculars

At 8, children often begin to exhibit unique interests and talents. Start teaching your child to think critically about spending by explaining how you’ll be budgeting, comparison shopping and weighing cost-benefit trade-offs for those fun activities.

9-Year-Olds: Discuss Equality

By 9, kids are noticing the differences between how people live. Use your child’s observations as an opportunity to discuss money, especially given the uneven impact of this recession. Consider finding a charitable cause for your family to donate money and/or time to, demonstrating that while inequality is unfair, we can do our part to combat it.

10-Year-Olds: Check-in on Your Rainy Day Fund

As of late 2019, almost 40% of US adults would not be able to cover an unexpected expense of $400 without taking on debt. Take the opportunity to ensure you have enough liquid savings to cover at least three to six months of expenses; if you don’t, set a goal to get there. Without scaring your child, explain that even in the best of times it’s important to have a rainy day fund in case of a financial emergency like job loss or a health crisis like Coronavirus.

Allison Kade is Fabric’s Millennial Money Expert. She has written about parenting, money, travel, careers, and time management, for publications like Bloomberg, Forbes, The Today Show, Business Insider, The Huffington Post, and more. She is also a Pushcart Prize-nominated fiction writer. Follow her on Twitter @amkade.

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Find Your Crew: 11 Facebook Groups for Dallas Parents

by Kate Loweth

We all know how important it is for parents to stay connected online (now more than ever!). Working from home, social distancing and homeschooling can be isolating and overwhelming, so we’ve found a bunch of Facebook groups you can join to reach out and connect with other parents in the Dallas community. Read on to find that support, shared knowledge and camaraderie are just a few clicks away in a local online group for parents in the DFW.

Mom and child celebrating mother's day in San Diego
iStock

Dallas Moms
This massive group of almost 10,000 member moms was created in December 2014. It is a community made up of moms who work outside the home as well as some who have a side gig, work from home, are budding entrepreneurs, do volunteer work, etc. They share  talents, do good deeds, share great ideas, help each other with mom questions, inspire each other, help each other find humor and be supportive overall.

Dallas Moms Community Group for Working Moms
This is an  online neighborhood group, sponsored by Dallas Moms (formally Dallas Moms Blog). Working moms chat about kids and the balance (or lack thereof) between work and parenting. 

Black Metro Moms of Dallas
Black Metro Moms of Dallas is a community of moms living and working in the Dallas metroplex. Whether you are a new mom or you are about to have an empty nest, this group wants you to have a place where you can socialize, have fun, meet other moms, have meet ups with moms and their kids, support each other, get advice, give advice, share information and inspire each other.

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Transplant Parents of Dallas
This group started as a Meetup group in 2013 and have evolved into a Facebook only group of parents who have transplanted to Texas from other states or countries. This purpose of this group is to connect to other transplants and provide resources to each other as we all navigate Dallas together.

Black Moms of Suburbia - North Of Dallas
Black Moms of Suburbia's mission is to partner with organizations to create opportunities where Black mothers can authentically be heard and enlighten communities by allowing them to share their experiences. They strive to dismantle racism, discrimination and inequality by hosting curated events that support diversity and inclusion.

Dallas Jewish Parents
This group is a great resource for our community focused on providing valuable information on events, activities, opinions and various service providers. It's a place for us to support each other and give a voice to our community.

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Special Needs Parents of North Texas
This group was created for special needs parents to seek advice, referrals and support. This is an open discussion page for those in North Texas. Because you're never alone in the struggles you face. And once you find your people, your allies, your village . .  all the challenges and struggles will seem just a little bit easier.

Dallas Dads Group
The Dallas Dads Group is a diverse community of fathers taking an active role in their children’s lives. They meet several times a month; with our kids at parks, playgrounds, museums, parent-and-me classes, and living rooms across the DFW area. They’ll also organize parenting workshops and “Dad’s Night Out” events to give our members an opportunity to socialize, learn and support each other as we navigate parenthood.

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Autism Mamas DFW
This group is a place where parents of Autistic kiddos can share their experiences, get support and know they are not alone.

Dallas Moms of Multiples
This group was created to share ideas, ask questions, and vent about the joys of having multiples.

Fort Worth Moms Group
It really does take a village so this group meets regularly to support each other, cry together and laugh until we pee! The group enjoys play dates and Moms Night Out

Do you have a parenting group that you’d like added to this list? Send an email to kate@tinybeans.go-vip.net. 

—Kate Loweth

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4 Ways to Empower Girls to Speak & Care About Racism

By Lindsay Sealey

Photo: shutterstock.com

It’s been months now since your daughter’s social media feeds have been flooded with horrific images, posts, and stories about racism. In the midst of a global pandemic, we are witnessing senseless police brutality against black people, protests, marches, and social unrest.

In my perhaps naïve attempt to promote social awareness, my conversations with girls, honestly, were disappointing. As I passionately talked about black lives mattering, systemic racism, and white privilege, specifically the murder of George Floyd and then the incident when Amy Cooper called the police on a black man in a public park as retaliation for asking her to put her dog on a leash (as is required by the park rules), girls seemed clueless, apathetic, and disinterested. Some even told me they just didn’t understand why we needed to talk about race much. What I needed them to know—that for many, not talking about it, is not an option because it’s a daily lived experience. We need to teach them how to care.

It can be uncomfortable and difficult to talk about racism. I know your instincts may be guiding you to steer clear of the topic altogether if you don’t know where to begin. Yet, now, more then ever, we need to talk to our girls about racism as a social construct and a collective responsibility. At the same time, we need to motivate them to take steps to be part of creating change. 

Navigating race is complicated and conversations depend on socioeconomic class, educational background, family makeup, community, and life experiences. There’s no “one way” or “right way” to talk about race, but all parents need to know this: Girls need to start having these conversations in order to become more aware of their unconscious biases, their privilege, and their own actions (or inactions).

If you are ready to begin, here is what you can do to empower her to become an intelligent and racially aware young woman, an ally for the oppressed, and an advocate for social justice.

1. First, set the example: check yourself and your own beliefs, biases, and prejudices. We all have them. I know it’s a big ask—to look at yourself in the mirror but it is required. Take an honest inventory of what you think about different races, how you treat people, and, yes, even the stereotypes you may hold as well as any racial slurs in your vernacular. In short, be aware of your racial tendencies. It is imperative that you check yourself and apologize when you misspeak or misstep. She needs to see that you are being real with her and she needs to see that you are holding yourself accountable if you do offend someone with the ability to say, “I’m sorry.”

2. Talk about race, often, and don’t ignore it. They see differences and they learn early to sort people into categories—boy or girl, tall or small, and, yes, black or white—there is no such thing as being “color blind.” With this natural categorization, we can talk about diversity and, by extension, inequality—the fact that not all people are treated fairly. In fact, many cultures are mistreated because of the color of their skin. Differences exist and so does racism. Let’s talk about how various ethnicities have diversified experiences. Let’s talk about why. Let’s encourage her to intentionally seek out diversity in her own social circles and celebrate races, to better understand different stories and perspectives—this can bring her closer to getting to the similarities—that all humans want and deserve love and respect.

3. Learn with her. She is going to need to better understand racism so I can’t repeat this enough: It is not the job of the marginalized, to teach her about their history. The responsibility needs to begin with her. Together, learn history. Why? When girls become grounded in facts about the past, whether it’s slavery and black people, the Indigenous people, or the Chinese Canadians working on the railway, and the history of white people, they can start to understand others and answer some of their “why” questions so they become more confident when they speak. Girls cannot rely on what others tell them as this so often reinforces stereotypes and they cannot look to inaccurate social media platforms. Give her the knowledge she needs and learn together and hold space for her to ask her questions and formulate her own opinions and learn about race and reckoning. Teach her to be respectfully curious, to listen to someone else’s story without comparing it to her story.

4. Teach her to speak up and up stand up. With knowledge comes passion and girls can easily become impassioned to do something when it comes to social justice. Help girls to notice situations and see the truth so that they can speak up and stand up for the racialized who are often silenced. For example, when she is at a restaurant and orders food yet notices her biracial friend is overlooked by the server, she needs to say something and act quickly—as in, leave the restaurant. When her black friend is followed in the mall by a security guard who is suspicious she will steal, she needs to tell her friend they are done shopping for the day. It is never okay to ignore these kinds of truths, to “pretend” they are not happening, or to stay silent. Girls need to notice and then act when they witness injustices.

Now, more than ever is the time for girls to know they can embrace the words of Mahatma Gandhi: “Be the change you wish to see in the world.” This begins with the ability to care. Let’s remind girls to continue to care and take action when it comes to race, even when the news stories fade.

To learn more, check out Growing Strong Girls: Practical Tools to Cultivate Connection in the Preteen Years and Rooted, Resilient, and Ready, and the websites Bold New Girls and Brave New Boys.

 

I am a girl advocate and girls champion; the founder of Bold New Girls and Brave New Boys teaching and coaching for girls, boys, and their parents. As well, I am the author Growing Strong Girls and Rooted, Resilient, and Ready (available on Amazon and Audible). I am an international speaker and an instructor with Udemy. 

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If We Want Good and Present Fathers, We Need to Expect It of Them

By Jennifer White

Am I supposed to apologize for having a good husband and a great father for my kids? Sometimes it feels that way.

Recently I wrote an article about things moms should do for themselves, and one of them was to let go of control when dads are around. It’s important for me to let my husband parent our kids his way and not mine. It’s important for me to let someone else be in charge sometimes, to take mini breaks from this often consuming role of “mother.”

This isn’t to suggest that all moms have this option. This, certainly, isn’t to ignore single moms (or stay-at-home dads or working moms or any other potential category of parent). Yet, for people like me who live in a home with a mother and a father, it’s enormously important to not only include fathers but to remember that although I might spend most of the daytime hours with our kids, I’m not more important as a parent than he is.

We want to talk about having fathers who are present, and who are good dads, but this means expecting this from men.

It means expecting men to change diapers, stay up with fussy kids who won’t go to sleep, help with potty training and go to school meetings. We want men to engage with our children as parents, so why is it ok to bash them for laughs, or to act like children who have good fathers shouldn’t acknowledge their presence and how much they do?

I know I’m lucky, though. I know not all dads are as involved with their children as my husband is with our daughters. I know how hard it is when we don’t live near extended family, or when we don’t have nannies or even sitters available a decent amount of the time. I know how hard it is to find alone time, and to have “me” time for the woman outside of my role as “Mom”, because I struggle with all of this too, and I have a partner who is here for me and for our kids. I’m lucky, but I have to believe that I’m not alone.

How can we expect fathers to be active in our children’s lives and to shoulder the weight of this ginormous responsibility of raising kids if we don’t give up some of our maternal control? How can we say we want this as a society if we still rarely put diaper stations in mens’ restrooms and male bash on the side? Dad jokes aren’t just at the expense of fathers, they’re at the expense of our children. We can support other women without criticizing men. We can do better—we have to.

I want my daughters to grow up and see that the relationship I have with their father is equal. I want them to see him doing chores around the house and refilling their sippy cups. In our house, dad and mom are equal. I want them to expect to be treated equally outside of our house, too.

I want them to expect to earn as much money as men. I want them to expect to be treated respectfully if they choose to date or marry a man. I want them to go out into the world, and to be aware of inequality while also expecting more — while expecting what they deserve. And they deserve a dad.

Every child deserves two parents who love them and are there for them, even if not every kid gets this. But for us to move forward as a society into a space where women can become president and men can, at the very least, change diapers, we need to treat each other respectfully. We need to treat ourselves respectfully.

The article I mentioned earlier was a blog on everyday ways moms can practice self-care. Self-care doesn’t have to be elaborate to be effective. Exercising, spending time alone or with a friend, reading a good book, and letting other people we love and trust help us with our children — these are all ways I care for myself. These are things I can pass on to my kids. I want my kids to see me taking care of myself, and asking for help, and loving people and trusting people, and knowing my own limitations so that they grow up to practice self-care, too.

So if I’m supposed to feel guilty for saying that when my husband comes home, I often kiss him and let him handle the kids for a while so I can spend a few minutes alone, then too bad. Too bad because it’s ok for me to acknowledge that while I might be lucky, this is the way that works for me.

Jennifer S. White is a voracious reader, obsessive writer, passionate yoga instructor, and drinker of hoppy ales. She writes for The Huffington Post, APlus, elephant journal, Be You Media Group, and MindBodyGreen. Jennifer is the author of The Best Day of Your Life, The Art of Parenting: Love Letters from a Mother and A Quiet Kiss.

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