Fall Back can send your baby’s sleep schedule into a free fall, but these tips will help you weather the storm

Looking on the bright side is a smart way to weather the wild ride of infancy. This applies to everything from blowouts (a chance to wear another outfit before baby outgrows it!) to the arrival of Daylight Saving Time, also known as National Mess-with-Your-Baby’s-Sleep-Schedule Time.

In the case of fall back (this Sunday, November 5), you have an hour less of sunlight at the end of each day, so it’s a bit harder to find the bright side. But parents know it takes some effort to see the bi-annual shuffle in a good light. With these parent-tested tips for helping baby adjust to Daylight Saving time, your child’s bedtime routine—and your sanity—can be saved.

Start Early

The best way to keep Daylight Saving Time from throwing your baby’s routine out of whack is by preparing for the change well before it hits. Successful approaches vary, but most experts suggest shifting baby’s bedtime by 15 minutes every day or two in the week or so leading up to the seasonal shift. So, if baby typically goes down around 7:30 p.m., shift bedtime forward in quarter-hour increments until you reach the “new” bedtime of 8:30, which, with the time change, will actually still be 7:30 p.m.—your child’s original bedtime.

To really make this work, you’ll want to adjust all of the day’s activities, including naps, meals, and morning wake times. “With fall back, the biggest setback tends to be early mornings,” says Amanda Jewson, sleep consultant and founder of Baby’s Best Sleep. “If your baby wakes at 5 a.m., try to delay feeds and light exposure to help train the body to wake at a later time.”

Use Light and Darkness

Light exposure has a direct influence on the body’s circadian rhythm (internal biological clock). Less light signals our body to become sleepy, while more light stimulates us to feel awake. If you’re pushing back baby’s bedtime, expose them to more natural light in the afternoon to help them stay away a bit longer. As their new bedtime hour approaches, it may already be dark outside which works to your advantage. If it’s not, close your blackout blinds (or, pro tip: attach double-sided adhesive Velcro tabs to your wall and to the back of your curtains, then press to seal the edges) to ensure that the room is pitch black when you put your baby down. In the morning, when the time is appropriate to start your day, Jewson says to throw open you blinds so baby’s body starts getting used to their new wake time.

Give It Time

Here’s the hard truth: Some babies are particularly sensitive to changes in their sleep schedule, and it can take two to four weeks for changes to really settle in, according to Jewson. So if your little one fails to get with the program at first, even after trying the above steps, hang in there. Within a week or two, their sleep schedule should catch up.

Roll with It

In the meantime, if you have a wee one who isn’t cooperating despite your best efforts, try to look on that bright side. If your babe used to go down at 7 p.m. but has temporarily shifted to 6 p.m., that probably means you can go to bed an hour earlier, too! Yes, you’ll probably be waking up an hour earlier in the morning, but think of it as a week of extra morning playtime and snuggles with your little one. “A go-with-the-flow attitude can help tremendously here,” stresses Jewson. After all, this won’t last forever. As they say, the hours surrounding DST may seem long, but the years really are short.

“Anybody have a really good babysitter you can recommend? Available at the last minute?” This group text popped up on a Friday afternoon and was quickly drowned in a sea of “nopes!” and “good lucks!” and teary emojis from unrecognized numbers. No one lets go of that number lightly. None of these people, other than the sender, were in my contacts. None of these people, including the sender, will get a response from me.

I could say it’s because this person wasn’t a close friend or that I didn’t have the time while hauling my kids around in the sub-freezing darkness that January evening. But the truth is, I just cannot give it up. Because I only have one number.

Other than family, I have one number, one person, I can call to babysit my children. I’m not being picky; I am being deadly serious. I have a five-year-old with cerebral palsy whose 40 pounds might as well be 100 when you’re carrying him up the stairs or lifting him out of the van and into his wheelchair or changing a diaper on the floor. He also has limited speech, so you must be part psychic, part lip reader, to intuit his needs. His babysitter is an employee at his preschool and has known him since he was two. I can’t afford to give away the one person I trust.

Related: 11 Incredible Books That Feature Kids with Disabilities

I know it’s tough to find someone older than 14 and responsible and available and consistent and friendly and cheap-ish to watch your kids. But for us, it is so much more than that. It takes a background in working with children with disabilities, a secret handshake, a personality test, and some serious magic for me to feel comfortable leaving my children in the hands of someone I’m unrelated to.

That number on my phone with “babysitter” in parentheses is sacrosanct. The days of protecting it began in infancy. When we first brought our son home from the hospital, he came with a tracheotomy, suction machine, oxygen monitor, and g-tube. I barely left the room, much less the house. Date nights were not a priority.

And just before I went back to work, we said goodbye to the daycare we had lined up a year in advance. How could we ask them to hook him up to a feeding pump or suction out the snotty gunk from his trach hole? Not to mention pitting him against the invariable sicknesses that pass from kid to kid. A registered nurse or my mother watched him instead.

Thankfully, the trach and the g-tube and all the most precarious of his medical issues faded away with age. We no longer need a nurse. But we do need someone physically strong enough and trained enough to meet his needs.

Related: 5 Things Every Special Needs Parent Should Hear

And did I mention I also have twins? They are insane, in all the natural ways threenagers are, and require just as much eyes-on time—if not so much hands-on time—as their older brother. They will empty the entire roll of toilet paper into the toilet and lock themselves in the bathroom in under 30 seconds. Date nights are happening again, but they are still rare enough to make me feel giddy just backing out of the driveway.

This is why I let the text go unanswered. This is why I let someone else fill in that blank. Our family situation calls for a very particular set of skills. We need the Navy SEALs version of babysitters. And I don’t know another mother with a child with special needs who doesn’t feel the same. We already get less free time, much less time away without worry over our children’s safety. We can’t afford to hand out freebies.

It’s nothing personal. It’s business, the business of running our family. We need the people we trust. And so we keep them close.

This post was originally published in January 2018.

Jamie Sumner is the author of the book, Unbound: Finding Freedom from Unrealistic Expectations of Motherhood. She is a writer for The Washington PostParenting Special Needs Magazine and Scary Mommy, and an editor for Literary Mama. She is mother to twins and a son with cerebral palsy. 

The day my daughter died was the darkest day of my life. There is nothing that can prepare you for waddling into an ultrasound, eight months pregnant, and having a doctor look into your terrified eyes as he says, “I’m sorry, but there’s no heartbeat.”

As the ground fell out from underneath me, a fog filled my brain that wouldn’t leave for months. Big, heavy tears clouded my vision as I survived the next 36 hours—long hours as I waited for my husband to fly home, as I labored through the birth I had dreamed of my whole life (this was nothing like I had dreamed of), as I held my beautiful, perfect, 6 lb 9 oz daughter Layla. Every time I blinked, dreams rolled down my face, soaking my shirt like the milk that would come in days later, my body unaware that there was no baby to feed.

As I was wheeled out of the hospital in the darkness of night, clutching a pillow, I felt certain I would never, ever feel the sunshine on my face again. How could I? The last package I received in the mail was art for my daughter’s nursery, You Are My Sunshine, My Only Sunshine. My bones felt as cold as my belly did empty. My husband tucked me into bed where I’d stay for a week that followed, unable to speak a word to anyone.

But we lived in Southern California—even in November, you can only hide from the sun for so long. After a week, we took our first walk. I pulled my hooded sweatshirt over my head, blocking the world from my peripheral vision, as I focused on the two-block walk to the beach. We walked straight to the shoreline and set three paper cranes that we had folded at her baby shower out to sea. Wishes from loved ones, never to be read. The sun burned like lightning on the back of my sweatshirt as I retreated for safety.

It was in the months that followed that I learned of the term rainbow baby—a name given to a baby born shortly after the loss of a previous baby due to miscarriage, stillbirth, or death in infancy. This term is used because a rainbow typically follows a storm, giving us hope for what’s to come.

My baby was not a storm. But the days and weeks and months that followed losing her were. And like a storm, my grief swirled and changed every day, starting as a constant downpour and eventually slowing to a drizzle. Until, one day, a small stream of light.

Pregnancy after loss is terrifying. It is living face to face with your worst fear and knowing that there is nothing you can do to change the outcome. You survive every day by focusing on that small stream of light, even as the clouds try and overwhelm you, threatening rain just around the corner.

photo of woman after birth in hospital bed

Photo: Laura Malcolm

And then one day, one year and six days after the rain started, the clouds parted and let the sun beamed in. I held my newborn son and felt the warmth my body had missed. I squinted into the sun as I was wheeled out of the same hospital doors, in the brightness of day, and the world had never looked so colorful. So full of hope.

My rainbow baby.

I now have two little boys who fill my life with more color (and noise) than I could have ever imagined. We talk about their sister and celebrate her life and yes, throw rainbow-themed birthday parties because they brought the sun to shine right along with the rain—and without both of those, there wouldn’t be rainbows.

This post was written by Laura Malcolm and originally appeared on Give InKind.

Give InKind is an intelligent social support platform that helps friends and family coordinate tangible, financial, and emotional support for those who need it. Our custom Care Calendar + Wishlist + Fundraising in one free tool is making support simple. From new babies to cancer support, Give InKind.

Sesame Workshop is debuting a new resource to help families talk to their littles about race and racism. As part of Sesame Workshop’s Coming Together initiative, the “ABC’s of Racial Literacy” provides a framework for parents to engage their children in meaningful discussions (on an age/developmentally appropriate level, of course) about race and identity.

The “ABC’s of Racial Literacy” includes videos that explain race and issues surrounding racism in ways young child can understand. This includes info from beloved characters and a few new Muppet friends.

Dr. Jeanette Betancourt, Senior Vice President, Sesame Workshop, said in a press release, “At Sesame Workshop, we look at every issue through the lens of a child. Children are not colorblind—not only do they first notice differences in race in infancy, but they also start forming their own sense of identity at a very young age.”

Betancourt continued, “‘The ABCs of Racial Literacy’ is designed to foster open, age-appropriate conversations among families and support them in building racial literacy. By encouraging these much-needed conversations through Coming Together, we can help children build a positive sense of identity and value the identities of others.”

Kay Wilson Stallings, Executive Vice President of Creative and Production, Sesame Workshop, added, “The work to dismantle racism begins by helping children understand what racism is and how it hurts and impacts people. Sadly, today’s announcement comes at a time of racial and social discord when many families are in need of support in talking to their children about racism.”

Learn more about Coming Together: The ABC’s of Racial Literacy and find resources for your family on Sesame Workshop’s website here.

—Erica Loop

Photo courtesy of Sesame Workshop

 

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According to a new study, children with autism and attention deficit hyperactivity disorder (ADHD) visited doctors and hospitals more often during their first year of life than non-affected children. Even before being diagnosed, these babies’ health care patterns are unique. These findings suggest that we may be able to identify these conditions earlier than thought. 

baby

The findings from Duke Health researchers, appearing online Oct. 19 in the journal Scientific Reports, provide evidence that health care utilization patterns in a baby’s first year can serve as a roadmap to provide timey diagnoses and treatments which can improve outcomes and reduce healthcare costs. 

“This study provides evidence that children who develop autism and ADHD are on a different path from the beginning,” said lead author Matthew Engelhard, M.D., Ph.D., a senior research associate at Duke. “We have known that children with these diagnoses have more interactions with the health care system after they’ve been diagnosed, but this indicates that distinctive patterns of utilization begin early in these children’s lives. This could provide an opportunity to intervene sooner.”

Autism spectrum disorder affects approximately 1.5% of children in the United States and ADHD affects about 11% of U.S. children. ADHD symptoms are also present in up to 60% of children with ASD.  

“We know that children with ASD and ADHD often receive their diagnosis much later, missing out on the proven benefits that early interventions can bring,” said Geraldine Dawson, Ph.D., director of the Duke Center for Autism and Brain Development and the Duke Institute for Brain Sciences. “Owing to the brain’s inherent malleability — its neuroplasticity — early detection and intervention are critical to improving outcomes in ASD, especially in terms of language and social skills.”

Engelhard and colleagues, including senior authors Dawson and Scott Kollins, Ph.D., used 10 years of data collected from the electronic health records of nearly 30,000 patients, primarily at Duke University Health System, who had at least two well-child visits before age one.

Patients were grouped as having later been diagnosed with ASD, ADHD, both conditions or no diagnosis. The researchers then analyzed the first-year records for hospital admissions, procedures, emergency department visits and outpatient clinical appointments.

For the children who were later found to have one or both of the diagnoses, their births tended to result in longer hospital stays compared to children without the disorders.

Children later diagnosed with ASD had higher numbers of procedures, including intubation and ventilation, and more outpatient specialty care visits for services such as physical therapy and eye appointments.

Children who were later found to have ADHD had more procedures, notably including blood transfusions, as well as more hospital admissions and more emergency department visits.

Studies show that treatments for these disorders work best when they begin early in a child’s life, Dawson said. Understanding that there are signals available in a child’s electronic health record could help lead to earlier and more targeted therapies.

“We are hopeful that these early utilization patterns can eventually be combined with other sources of data to build automated surveillance tools to help parents and pediatricians identify which kids will benefit most from early assessment and treatment,” Kollins said.

The researchers said they plan to conduct additional analyses to explore more fully what specific health concerns prompted the extra doctor and hospital visits.

“We want to understand these distinctions in greater detail and identify them as soon as possible to make sure children have access to the resources they need,” Engelhard said.

—Jennifer Swartvagher

Featured photo: Jonathan Borba on Unsplash 

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Whether you are just moving to the area or a brand-new mom, moms groups are a great way to meet people who share your same stage of life. These Akron, Ohio groups for moms offer moral support for these days at home and the promise of playdates at the park and moms nights out on the town once things return back to “normal.” Your crew is here for you!

iStock

Akron Area Moms (and Dads)
This Facebook group has over 2,000 members in the Akron, OH area. They plan playdates, schedule adult-only meetups and share local events for kids. Join here.

Fairlawn Moms & Tots
This group is designed for moms with young children. While the group was founded in Fairlawn, they have grown to include moms and tots throughout the greater Akron area. They are a diverse group of moms and tots and welcome everyone who wishes to be part of the group. When able, they schedule a variety of play dates throughout the Akron area and have a monthly Mom's Night Out. Join here

West Akron Moms Club
This group is for parents living in West Akron who enjoy the support and social activity of other adults and their children. The network is here to offer support and understanding to each other through the joys and tasks of parenthood. The club offers a wonderful opportunity to create lifelong friendships for moms, dads and children alike. Prospective members are welcome to attend a club activity before committing the join. Join here

The Nest
This donation-based business spun off two busy Facebook groups—the Becoming "Mom" group and Tots & Up group. Find babysitter recommendations, local meet-ups, toy swaps and more on the Tots group and information about becoming a mom through infancy in the Becoming "Mom" group. 

MOMS Club® of Cuyahoga Falls, OH
This group is for moms within the 44221, 44222, or 44223 zip codes. They keep a full calendar of activities for moms and kids of all ages. From Couples' Nights Out to playdates at local parks, this group has it all. They support members with helping hands meals and provide community service opportunities throughout the community. Join here

MOMS Club® of Copley/Fairlawn
This MOMS Club serves stay-at-home and working mothers in Copley, Fairlawn, Bath and surrounding areas. Most club activities occur during weekdays and kids are always welcome. Activities include coffee meetups, craft days, playgroups, book clubs and more. They also host meal prep days where members get together to make meals for the week. Join here

MOMS Club® of Hudson, Streetsboro, Peninsula and Richfield
This chapter serves residents of Streetsboro, Hudson, Peninsula and Richfield, Ohio. Meetings are on the first Tuesday of the month and are currently happening via Zoom. You are welcome to attend a meeting before joining the group. Join here

There are additional MOMS Club groups in Medina and Stow. Find your local chapter here

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Northeast Ohio Mothers of Multiples
This group's mission is to offer support, information, education and social interaction for mothers (or guardians) of multiple births in Northeast Ohio. They typically meet on the second Tuesday of the month. The group participates in the Kids Stuff Sale each September as part of the Great Garage Sale at the Lake County Fairgrounds. Join here

Barberton/Norton/Akron Moms Helping Moms
This Facebook group helps local moms share tips, promote their businesses and receive support from other moms. Join here.

Eastside Cleveland Playgroup
If you're willing to travel a bit or live closer to Cleveland, this is a great group to check out. Activities range from play-dates at local parks to all kinds of field trips. Kids range from newborn to elementary school (0-10 years), and they enjoy trips to the zoo, museums, fairs, libraries and special local events. Most events occur on the east side, but they do venture south and west on occasion. They are currently offering Zoom Mom's chats, Zoom playdates and hikes. Join here

Want to have your group added to the list? Send an email to kate@tinybeans.go-vip.net.

—Kate Loweth

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According to new research, babies born into bilingual families are better at switching their attention from one task to another compared with infants from homes where only one language is spoken. The study, led by Anglia Ruskin University (ARU), used eye-tracking technology to record the gaze of 102 infants carrying out a variety of tasks. Scientists found that those from bilingual homes are able to change their focus “more quickly and more frequently” than those from monolingual homes.

Baby reading with dad

The researchers studied babies between the ages of seven and nine months, half from bilingual homes and half from monolingual homes, to rule out any benefits gained from being able to speak a second language, often referred to as the “bilingual advantage.” Instead, the study focused on the effects of growing up simply hearing two or more languages.

Dr Dean D’Souza, Senior Lecturer in Psychology at ARU said, “Bilingual environments may be more variable and unpredictable than monolingual environments — and therefore more challenging to learn in. We know that babies can easily acquire multiple languages, so we wanted to investigate how they manage it. Our research suggests that babies in bilingual homes adapt to their more complex environment by seeking out additional information.”

When shown two pictures side by side, infants from bilingual homes shifted attention from one picture to another more frequently than infants from monolingual homes, suggesting these babies were exploring more of their environment.The study also found that when a new picture appeared on the screen, babies from bilingual homes were 33% faster at redirecting their attention towards the new picture.

D’Souza added, “Scanning their surroundings faster and more frequently might help the infants in a number of ways. For example, redirecting attention from a toy to a speaker’s mouth could help infants to match ambiguous speech sounds with mouth movements.”

The researchers are currently investigating whether this faster and more frequent switching in infancy can have a longer lasting developmental impact.

The findings were published in the journal Royal Society Open Science.

—Jennifer Swartvagher

Featured photo: Picsea on Unsplash

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It’s the perfect end to a long day—you let your children choose a book, you all snuggle up, and you read together. It’s more than just a bonding experience, though. Reading to your kids will shape their minds and behaviors in more ways than one. In fact, we have six more reasons why your family literature sessions should be a regular activity: 

1. Reading Boosts Vocabulary. As an adult, you probably still come across words in books that you don’t know. You might look them up to learn the definition and add a few more words to your vocabulary. Your children experience this newness every time you read to them. They soak up information like sponges, too—the more you read, the more words they learn. 

This effect can start at an early age. Nowadays, pediatricians recommend that you start reading to your little ones in infancy. Doctors even say that babies can understand the emotions behind the words you read to them. So, as they get older, comprehending the feeling turns into an understanding of what the word means. 

You’ll also see this manifest as improved speech, too. Hearing you pronounce words properly will show your children how they should speak, too. This advantage extends beyond vocabulary—your children will learn correct sentence structure and improve their grammar as well. 

2. Reading Increases Attention Spans. Little children aren’t known for their ability to pay attention for long stretches. However, reading helps them to hone this skill—they want to know how the story will end, after all. You’ll have to start small, as you can’t expect your little one to pay attention for hours right away. Instead, start with a short picture book, perhaps one that takes 10 minutes to read. Then, work your way up to longer stories—even the most energetic brood will sit and listen to a story that has captivated them. Clearly, this skill will come in handy down the line when your children go to school. Sitting and listening with interest will get them far academically, too. 

3. Reading Will Foster a Lifelong Love of Books. You love nighttime reading and snuggles, and your children do, too. If you make it part of your daily routine, then they’ll always think of reading as something warm and positive. As they grow, they’ll only continue to crack open books and read on their own. 

Just make sure that you’re choosing the right stories now to forge an enduring interest. You have plenty of resources to help you do so. For starters, award-winning children’s books tend to do the trick. Or, you can ask your kids while you’re reading. Do they like the story? If so, keep that book in rotation and maintain their interest in reading. 

4. Reading Strengthens Imaginations. Children’s books typically come with gorgeous pictures, which allow your kids to see and understand the words that you’re reading. However, they will also begin to conjure images of the story in their minds. As you read to them more, their imaginations only continue to grow. 

It’s vital that children hone their imaginations and imaginative play at an early age. Playing pretend gives children the opportunity to express emotions both positive and negative. Such a skill will serve them for the rest of their lives. It can all start with reading and helping them to explore the creative side of their minds.

5. Reading Boosts Children’s Comprehension. Books unlock a lot of learning potential. For instance, your story’s likely to introduce your child to a character who has a dilemma. As you read to your child, they’ll start to understand these problems. If you ask them, they might even come up with a solution to the issue on their own. 

On top of problem-solving and plot, kids can also increase their comprehension of emotions and morality. Did that character do what’s right? How do you think he feels? They’ll start to put themselves in the story to better understand it, thus making them smarter and more emotionally adept. 

6. Reading Provides Quality Time Together. We’ve already touched on this benefit, but it’s worth mentioning once more. When you read with your kids, you have their undivided attention for a sliver of time. There’s no toy or screen in the way of your bonding. Instead, you sit on the couch or snuggle in bed and read together. As your children grow up, you’ll find yourself wanting to press the pause button more than once. You can’t stop time, of course, but reading together gives you the chance to slow it down. 

So, start to build a collection of kid-friendly books, or gather some from your local library. That’s all you need to start this daily ritual—one that will make both you and your children happy. 

Jennifer Landis is a mom, wife, freelance writer, and blogger. She enjoys long naps on the couch, sneaking spoonfuls of peanut butter when her kid's not looking, and binge watching Doctor Who while her kid's asleep.  She really does like her kid, though, she promises. Find her on Twitter @JenniferELandis.

Lucile Packard Children’s Hospital Stanford’s NICU recently hosted a bedside book event for families. In its third year, this event highlights the importance of talking and reading to premature infants.

Clinical associate professor of pediatrics and medical director of NICU Development Care Dr. Melissa Scala, MD and assistant professor of pediatrics and developmental cognitive neuroscientist at Packard Children’s Dr. Katherine Travis, Ph.D., together understand the importance spoken language has on premature babies. Through their research, Scala and Travis have found a connection between listening to parents’ voices and better short-term health outcomes for babies in the NICU.

When it comes to talking or reading to preterm infants Scala said, in a press release, “We hypothesize that it’s very important for brain development for these babies.” With this in mind, the hospital staged its third NICU reading event.

This year’s book is the ever-iconic Chicka Chicka Boom Boom, in both English and Spanish. The parents were given the book and information on the importance of reading and language exposure from infancy on.

Of the event, Scala said, “For some families, this is a way they can really engage with their kids, and it’s sort of beautiful to see parents doing it during this event.” She went on to add, “It’s important to remember that the work we’re doing is truly meant to foster a normal parent-infant interaction and solidify a bond that is core to the care we provide to families in our NICU.”

—Erica Loop

Photos: Courtesy of Lucile Packard Children’s Hospital Stanford 

 

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