If you’ve ever asked your kids “How was your day?” and received what sounds like a grunt or the ever-popular “OK,” you’re not alone. Instead of letting family chats fall to the wayside, consider using conversation starters for kids during your next family dinner. Sure, gathering everyone for a meal might seem impossible, but it’s more important than ever; studies have shown that families that eat together often have healthier diets, increased communication, and overall emotional stability.
And, engaging your kids in conversation has other huge benefits. It helps them learn important social skills, boosts vocabulary, raises self-esteem (especially when you listen to their responses), and could lead to them opening up about things that might be bothering them. So, if you’ve come this far, congrats! The next step? Figuring out what to talk about at the table. That’s where our fun conversation starters for kids come in handy.
How to Use Conversation Starters
Time your questions.
If your kid is hungry, tired, or both, it might not be the best time to engage in elaborate table talk. Use conversation starters with kids when you aren’t rushing to get to practice, there isn’t homework to be finished, and everyone is in a good mood.
Listen to their answers.
So, their curiosity is piqued, and they’re thinking hard about what to say. You need to be present in the moment and listen. Kids’ self-esteem gets a boost when they know their parents are listening.
Don’t forget to ask open-ended questions.
Consider using conversation starters for kids that require more than yes or no answers. If kids (or anyone) have a chance to elaborate on their answers, that can open the door to more interesting conversations.
47 Conversation Starters for Kids
1. Can you guess the ingredients in the meal tonight?
2. What do you like better: waking up in the morning or going to bed at night?
3. Would you rather be a giant rodent or a tiny elephant?
4. What would you do if you had a million dollars?
5. If you had to eat a worm, how would you cook it?
6. What is a weird habit that you have?
7. If you had this week to do over again, what would you do differently?
8. Would you rather go without television or junk food for the rest of your life?
9. If a genie granted you three wishes, what would they be?
10. If money were no object, where would you like to go on vacation?
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11. Where is the most interesting place you have ever been to?
12. Would you rather swim with stingrays or explore the jungle?
13. If you could make any vegetable against the law, which would it be?
14. Would you rather not hear or not see?
15. Would you rather wrestle a lion or fight a shark?
16. If you were sent to live on a space station for three months and were only allowed to bring three personal items, what would they be?
17. If you had your human body but the head of an animal, what animal would you pick?
18. What is one favorite thing you do by yourself?
19. If you could read one person’s mind, whose would it be?
20. What two things do you consider yourself to be very good at?
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21. Do you believe in extraterrestrials or life on other planets?
22. What is your favorite smell? What memory does it remind you of?
23. What is the weirdest thing you have ever eaten?
24. If you could be one character from a book for a day, who would it be and why?
25. What's the last thing that made you laugh?
26. Tell me about something that made you happy today.
27. What does a perfect day look like to you?
28. If you could have any animal for a pet, what would it be?
29. If you could be in the movie of your choice, what movie would you choose and what character would you play?
30. Would you rather wear your pants backward or shoes on the wrong feet?
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31. What did you do to help someone else today?
32. What makes our family special?
33. What three words would you use to describe yourself?
34. What is your favorite song?
35. Would you rather be able to talk to animals or know how to speak every language?
36. If you could be a sound, what would it be?
37. If you could eat one food for the rest of your life, what would you pick?
38. Who is your favorite movie character?
39. If you had to make dinner tomorrow night, what would you make?
40. If you were a parent, what rules would you have? Are they different from ours?
41. What is your earliest memory?
42. If you could only have three toys, which three would they be?
43. If you could pick your name, what would it be?
Your child says, “I’m hungry,” and you grab them a snack. They say “I’m bored,” and you find a way to entertain them. But when should the butler treatment end? When is it time to teach your child how to be self-sufficient and let them do things for themselves?
Believe it or not—now is as good a time as any! Your two-year-old can help you do the laundry; your 6-year-old can brush her teeth; and your 10-year-old can hang out alone at home while you walk the dog. And, no matter how desperately they cry, “Watch me!” young kids don’t always need you right there next to them (being just nearby is just fine).
“What you’re really trying to do is get the child to learn how to make decisions and take control over the things they can have control over,” said Dr. Michael Ungar, director of the Resilience Research Center and the author of We Generation: Raising Socially Responsible Kids. “What you really want is a child who can make a contribution to their family, who can navigate their community, who can problem solve.”
We created an age-by-age guide that ranges from letting your toddler help with household chores to giving your tween tech time to help you figure out the right time to give your kids that much-needed independence. Here’s what the experts say.
Things Kids Can Do: Ages 0 to 2
Don’t worry: You won’t need to start nudging your one-year-old out of the nest. According to Los Angeles child psychiatrist Patrick Kelly, it’s the opposite: the stronger the attachment between parents and their babies, the more comfortable those kids will be doing things independently as they grow. That said, there are a few “big kid” things your tiny tot can start learning at this age:
Feeding and Dressing Themselves – According to Los Angeles pediatrician Amin Davari, simple things like allowing older infants to feed themselves age-appropriate foods and letting young children dress themselves give kids “minor struggles and successes” that help them learn how to be self-sufficient and build skills and confidence.
Swim Lessons – The AAP recently changed its guidelines to say that kids should start swimming lessons at age one. Although swim lessons will never make a child “drown proof,” lessons between the ages of one to four years have been shown to reduce drowning risk, according to the AAP.
Sign Language – Just because your baby can’t talk doesn’t mean she’s not trying to tell you something. Advocates say teaching babies and toddlers basic signs (things like “eat,” “more” and “milk”) can increase confidence in both the kids and their caregivers, helping little ones who can’t yet speak get their needs met. Taking a class can mean a fun social outing for Mom or Dad—though you can also learn from home.
Things Kids Can Do: Ages 2 to 4
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At this age, kids are ready—and willing!—to take on some responsibility around the house. You’ll know the time is right when you see them start pretending to do grown-up things, like playing “family” or play-driving the car when they’re in the push car. Take advantage of this need now by giving them:
Simple Household Chores – Give them a broom or a dustpan, and let them help you sweep the kitchen floor. You’d be surprised how willingly kids this age will want to help you clean. If you’re lucky, the habit will continue into their later years. Other simple household chores suitable for two-to three-year-olds, according to The Montessori Notebook are:
Help pack their backpack
Brushing/feeding the dog (just let it go when they make a mess!)
Helping make the bed (at four, kids should be able to at least pull up a duvet by themselves)
Placing clothing in the laundry and pushing the buttons you point to
Solo Playtime – As long as you’ve created a safe space to play, at this age most kids are generally past the swallowing-small-objects phase and can happily play by themselves for 30 to 45 minutes at a time. If your child is reluctant to play alone, just agree to be nearby, but set up toys with which they can play solo.
“Reading” Time – Your child doesn’t need to know how to read to get lost in a world of books. Give kids a stack of picture books and let them have at it. If they want to hear stories read out loud—but you still want them to be on their own—we love the Yoto player, a simple speaker designed for kids ages three and up that allows kids to insert small cards to read popular stories aloud.
Pick What they Wear – Something as simple as choosing their clothes can make a child feel incredibly independent, says Dr. Ungar. “Three-year-olds can’t negotiate their bedtimes, but they can decide to wear green pajamas or blue pajamas. The trick seems to be to find these ways that the child can make a genuine contribution.”
Use a Balance Bike – Kids may not be ready for a two-wheeler at age two… but a balance bike is an easy go-to! “Once a child can confidently walk around the house, they can start walking with a balance bike between their legs,” says Schwinn spokesperson Ryan Berkicht. “This could be as soon as 18 months old for some kids.”
Things Kids Can Do: Ages 4 to 6
Gross motor skills are advancing quickly at this age, too, so your kids should be ready for fun things like climbing on a play structure (without you constantly spotting), and using the “big kid swing” all by themselves. And while these may seem like ordinary childhood milestones, all of these accomplishments help them learn how to be self-sufficient and instill huge amounts of confidence. So cheer your kids on as they:
Brush Their Teeth: While most dentists advise that you keep assisting with their pearly whites until age 7, your kids should know how to brush their teeth all on their teeth by age 5 or 6—with you nearby to make sure there’s actual brushing going on (as opposed to just holding the electric toothbrush in their mouths while the motor revs). A good compromise is to let your kids do the morning brush and you can brush their teeth in the evening.
Use a Microwave with Supervision – Not only does using the microwave buttons help reinforce number recognition, but it also makes kids feel like real big kids. Teach your kids what can and can’t go in the microwave, and let them push the buttons and press “start” all on their own.
Ride a Two-Wheeler – Sure, some kids are ready for a two-wheeler at three years old—and some five-year-olds want nothing to do with a bike—but experts say age 5 or 6 is a good target age for getting a kid on her first two-wheeler. If they’ve been riding a balance bike or a bike with training wheels, they should be able to transition easily.
Have Drop-Off Play Dates – According to the AAP, kids around ages 5 and 6 are developmentally ready to be dropped off for play dates. Got a child who’s nervous about it? It might help to have the playdates at your house, where you can step away—but not out.
Day Camp – Since this is the age when kids start preschool or kindergarten, they’re also usually ready for day camp at this age, too. If your kids don’t seem uber-enthusiastic about camp, try to keep the camp schedule similar to their school schedule (if your child attends a half-day school, for instance, start with a half-day camp).
Things Kids Can Do: Ages 6 to 8
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By this age, kids have started kindergarten and are usually happy to do anything that makes them feel grown-up and competent. So watch them closely for opportunities to teach them how to be self-sufficient—while also keeping them safe (for instance, let them ride a bike up and down your street, but make them wear a helmet). Here are some things kids are ready to do by this age:
Use a peeler to peel raw potatoes, ginger, mangoes, and other washed fruits and vegetables
Break eggs into a bowl (and remember to wash hands afterward)
Scoop out avocados after being sliced in half by an adult
Snap green beans
Shuck corn and rinse before cooking
Rinse and cut parsley or green onions with clean, blunt kitchen scissors
Take a Bath By Themselves – According to this article in the National Library of Medicine, most children can take a bath by themselves (i.e., without you sitting by the tub) by age 6. We recommend parents still stay within earshot and keep baths short enough that kids don’t get tired or rowdy in the bathtub by themselves.
Tie Their Shoes (with you supervising) – By age 6 or 7, most kids have the fine motor skills to attempt this surprisingly complex set of movements, according to Carolina Therapy Connection. You’ll know your child is ready to tie their shoes when they’re able to easily cut paper with scissors, string beads, or button and unbutton buttons.
Use a Computer to Browse the Internet – Experts recommend supervising children’s internet use at this age: If you’re not able to be there watching, you can use a filtering device like the Circle, which lets you dictate what apps and websites kids can and can’t visit online (as well as setting up bedtimes and screen time limits); or try a web filtering program like Microsoft Edge Kids Mode, which keeps your kids from seeing anything inappropriate online and lets you customize their web experience (it also prevents them from exiting the kid-safe browser to explore other apps on the computer).
Things Kids Can Do: Ages 8 to 10
Older kids are ready for adventure! Now’s the time to loosen the reins and let them chart their course a little bit. By this age, your child might be ready to:
Have a Sleepover – Around this age, they may be ready—as long as they can sleep through the night, no problem. That said, before you send your kids to another person’s home for the night, they must understand body boundaries and inappropriate touching. “I do think it’s a great time to start teaching kids about appropriate touches and that we’re the boss of our bodies and we’re the boss of our private parts,” writes child abuse prevention expert Pattie Fitzgerald. She also urged parents to talk to the host parents so they’ll know exactly who will be supervising and whether there will be older kids (such as teenage-aged siblings) or extended family in the home. The answer to these questions may well alter your decision to say “yes,” as parents should have a strong baseline of trust with the hosts.
Note: Some experts believe children (and their parents!) aren’t ready for sleepovers until the age of 10 and up.
Go to Overnight Camp – As long as your child can shower, doesn’t wet the bed, and has shown no problems spending the night at friends’ or relatives’ homes, they’re probably ready for sleepaway camp. While many overnight camps offer programs for kids as young as six or seven, the American Camp Association gives age nine as the target age for kids to start the summer camp journey. Some camps offer one-week “starter” programs for reluctant or nervous campers.
Walk to School by Themselves(Under Certain Conditions) – The AAP says elementary school-aged kids can walk to school by themselves, provided the walk is short, the neighborhood is safe, and there are school crossing guards stationed at any intersections. If there are non-guarded streets or you live in a city, waiting until age 12 is better.
Things Kids Can Do: Ages 10 and Up
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Tweens are all about breaking free and taking risks. Your job is to let them experiment with autonomy while still making sure they’ve got set limits to keep them safe. By age 10, kids can:
Be Left At Home for a Short Time – The laws vary on this, with some states like Oregon and Tennessee giving home-alone privileges to 10-year-olds and states like Colorado and Delaware saying 12 is a better age to start this. This Washington Post article gives state-by-state guidelines on the regulations, but it’s a good idea to check with your state’s Family or Child Services Department to be sure.
In any case, before you leave your kids home alone—even for a short time—it’s important that they know what to do in case of emergency and what your expectations are should unexpected things happen (like someone knocking on the door or a friend stopping by unannounced). The Department of Health and Human Services recommends that parents ask themselves these questions before leaving kids alone:
Is your child physically and mentally able to care for him or herself?
Does your child obey rules and make good decisions?
How does your child respond to unfamiliar or stressful situations?
Does your child feel comfortable or fearful about being home alone?
If you’re leaving for more than an hour, it’s best to wait to take your children. And experts say it’s not a good idea to let kids this age babysit younger children while no parents are home.
For more advice and tips, see this handout from the DHH.
Ride a Bike to School – It’s hard to find any specific laws about kids riding bikes to school, but the American Academy of Pediatrics says that by late elementary school, most kids can safely do this, provided the route is short and the roads safe. Before your child starts riding to school, make sure you practice the route with them (several times!) and go over what to do if unexpected things arise, such as a fall or a flat tire. If it makes you feel better, have your child wear a GPS watch or other tracking device to alert you when she gets to school safely.
Of course, you should always make sure your kids wear a good-fitting helmet and try to enlist a friend to ride along, to ensure both kids get there safely.
This is it. The bridge to the young adult years. Kids in this final stretch to the teens are longing to break free, so the trick is to let them feel independent and learn how to be self-sufficient while encouraging them to make responsible choices. Here are some things they’re ready to do now:
Have Their Own Cell Phone – While many argue that cell phones should wait until high school, middle schoolers can have a phone, provided it is monitored and filtered by the parents. Before you give your child a phone, have them sign a technology agreement that lays out the rules—for instance, no cell phones should be allowed in your child’s room overnight, and your child should know that you will read and monitor her messages. To keep your kids off inappropriate or dangerous apps and sites, use apps and programs like Screentime (for iPhones), Circle, or Securly.
Babysit Younger Children – There are no real legal restrictions for babysitting (except in states that have laws on when kids can be left alone), but the Red Cross doesn’t allow kids to take its babysitting course until age 11. By 12, kids should be able to babysit with a grown-up present in the house (or for short times when a grown-up leaves the house); by 14, they can usually babysit younger children on their own. When it comes to an older sibling watching the younger kids in the house, parents need to ask themselves whether their oldest is mature enough and responsible enough to handle the task. If there are any doubts, skip it.
Be Dropped Off in a Public Place with Friends – As long as your child agrees to stay with the group and you’ve talked about uncomfortable situations (if a stranger talks to them or if other kids are experimenting with drugs or alcohol), most experts agree that by middle school—or around age 13—kids can be dropped off at public place (like a movie theater or mall) for a few hours as long as they are in a group and you are leaving them in a safe location. This depends, of course, on your child’s level of maturity, your city’s crime rate, and whether you trust them to make good decisions.
Note: Check with your state laws before letting your teen go to certain places solo: Some states, such as Minnesota and Delaware, do not permit children under 16 to be in certain malls without adult supervision, according to this article.
They may not be able to talk, but infants are constantly communicating with the world around them, and boy are they eager to let parents and caregivers know what they want at any given time. As a parent, it won’t take long to decipher your baby’s code—you know, those high-pitched gurgles that tell you your little one is hungry, or the eye rubs that let you know nap time is near. When you miss a subtle signal or two (and you will, trust us), you’ll be made well aware by your baby’s not-so-subtle cries. That’s when you think: Wouldn’t it be great if they could TELL me what they needed? That’s why some parents turn to sign language for babies as a more consistent way to communicate with their kids before they know how to “use their words.”
What is baby sign language?
Baby signs are very simple hand gestures, often based on American Sign Language (ASL), that help babies who aren’t yet speaking to communicate basic needs to hearing parents. Each sign corresponds to a word that is super relevant to an infant’s life, like wanting “milk” or needing “help.” Teaching your baby sign language allows your child to communicate their biggest needs and make sure they’re met, explains Laura Payne, MDE, a baby ASL expert and teacher. This lessens frustrations for both kids and parents and builds trust.
Payne explains that teaching your baby a few useful signs and building from there is a wonderful way to introduce them to a beautiful language while also helping them express their wants and needs throughout their daily routines. In doing so, you can consistently meet those needs, strengthening your attachment and boosting your confidence as a parent.
When should you start teaching sign language to your baby?
When are those adorable little hands ready to start forming signs? The American Academy of Pediatrics (AAP) suggests teaching your baby sign language beginning at 6 months. This is thought to be a good window because developmentally infants are learning how to gesture around this time, but this milestone really kicks into high gear at the 8-month mark. Payne stresses that you’re never too early or too late to start. “Babies are born needing to communicate with us,” she says. “So you can start at 6 months or you can start when they’re learning to walk.” You know your baby better than anyone, so give it a go when you feel ready.
The best way to teach your baby sign language is to choose signs that are important to you and your family and ones that you use a lot. Payne suggests starting with “high-functioning” words because they help your little one communicate their basic needs.
1. Milk
While keeping your hand steady in front of you, form the shape of a “C.” Then open and close your hand twice, ensuring your thumb closes over your fingers. You can start modeling this sign before your baby is old enough to do it themselves, and once they’re familiar with the sign you might see their eyes widen with excitement when they realize it’s milk time.
2. Eat
Make a rounded “O” with your fingers and then flatten your fingers out. Turn your fingers to face your chin and move them to your lips like you’re eating.
3. All Done
When signing “all done,” start with your palms facing in and the top of your hands facing out. In a quick motion, turn your palms to face out, and now you’re all done. Remember that you can use this sign in all kinds of situations, like during play and at the park—it’s not just for mealtime.
4. More
Bring your fingers and thumbs to touch and flatten both your hands—like the flat “O” when signing “eat.” Next, tap your fingers together and then pull them apart several times. Remember that your baby could be attempting this sign in any number of ways, from clapping their hands to tapping a single finger into the opposite palm.
5. Help
Your dominant hand is going to sign the letter “A” in ASL, or you can remember it as a thumbs up. Make a flat palm with your other hand and place it under your dominant hand. Raise both hands together to sign the word “help.”
How do you teach your baby sign language?
Payne recommends signing while saying the word at the same time, always remembering to embed the word in context. The next time you and your tot sit down to eat, this can mean signing the word for “eat” while using it in a sentence like, “It looks like you love to eat bananas” or “I see you eating those sweet potatoes.” This gives your little one the context of what the word means supported by the sign language. “I’d also recommend using statements over questions when you’re modeling [sign language],” Payne advises.
It’s important to incorporate signs into your daily life and be sure to repeat them, according to Baby Sign Language. Research shows that repetition can be critically important for learning, so try to sign before, during, and after an event, like a meal. Another great way to help your baby learn to sign is when you read together. Payne says to sit your child on your lap so they have a clear view of your hands and the book. This way your baby can see you sign words you’re introducing (or already using) as you read.
What are the benefits of sign language for babies?
As far as baby sign language goes, there are benefits for everyone involved. Babies can express their thoughts and needs more effectively, which means less frustration and fewer tantrums due to communication barriers. It also saves parents a lot of time and frustration. If your baby signs “eat” you’ll know to prepare their favorite sweet potatoes instead of jumping into trial-and-error mode, changing diapers and searching for favorite Loveys. Teaching your baby to sign sets everyone up for better communication.
Another benefit is that learning sign language is in line with your infant’s physical development. Payne says the muscles in your baby’s arms and fingers develop faster than those in their mouth, throat, and nasal cavity, so they can sign long before they actually say their first words. Some folks believe that using sign language with babies can delay their verbal communication, but research has shown just the opposite. According to recent studies, it can actually facilitate rather than hinder the development of voice language, per The National Library of Medicine. As Payne sums it up, “language supports language.”
Since sign language is multisensory—communicating through seeing, hearing (saying the words you’re signing), and creating movements—it also nurtures your kid’s cognitive development. “Children feel their body moving and it allows for a multisensory approach, which helps them learn best,” says Payne. And if all that wasn’t enough, signing also helps to strengthen the bond between a child and their parents or caregivers.
What if your baby seems disinterested?
All children learn at a different pace, so if you feel your infant isn’t picking up the signs you’re putting down, don’t panic. There are a number of potential causes if you’re feeling discouraged, like maybe your baby just isn’t ready to start signing, or they’re already signing but you haven’t realized or aren’t positively reinforcing their attempts. These are important pieces of the puzzle to consider. When your baby does start to show interest, positive reinforcement is key to building their self-esteem, which encourages them to sign more.
If you’re concerned about your baby’s ability to learn sign language, Payne suggests you seek out a professional for help. “Reaching out to an expert in the field can help parents and caregivers troubleshoot.”
Did you know that 80 percent of the brain develops in the first three years of life? Our kids go from crawling to running, from babbling to speaking, from being a quiet observer to having a full-fledged personality. As moms and entrepreneurs in the world of child development and kids products, we often find ourselves and friends asking how to create an environment at home that supports our kids’ physical and intellectual growth before they start school. What we’ve found through our research and interviews is that as kids travel through growth stages, their world—real or imagined—also shifts. As parents, we can create environments that are developmentally appropriate and that stimulate their emerging milestones. Here are a few baby nursery ideas and toddler updates that will take you through the first three years of life.
0 to 12 Months: Focus on the Floor
Your baby spends most of the first year of her life developing the physical strength to go from lying down to sitting to crawling and walking. She is also developing her spatial awareness and the drive to go after what she wants. The best way to nurture these budding skills is to spend some of your awake time every day on the floor, giving her chances to play on her back and on her tummy. While it’s often taken for granted, we can create a very rich, immersive environment for her down there, starting by getting down there with her.
Start her under a play gym (We love this space-themed play gym), where she develops her vision and learns to reach and bat. Then, add soft, sensory, activity toys—whether balls, rings, rattles, plush activity toys—so she can practice grabbing, pulling, dropping, shaking, and experimenting with sounds. As she gets more mobile, the same toys will motivate her to roll, scoot, pivot, army crawl, and more as she expresses her desire to bring them into her world.
13 to 24 Months: The Experiment Lab
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In the second year, that baby becomes a fast-moving and curious toddler! She loves to explore and experiment—making hypotheses about the world, testing them, and repeating the experiment over and over. She is noticing patterns and routines. This is the perfect age to indulge her desire to learn how the world works—how do things turn on and off? How do they move? How do we use words to express what we want?
We love creating an environment that nurtures her growing curiosity, gives her space to experiment, and gives us opportunities to participate in the conversation. Include toys like a shape sorter that teaches her to manipulate and match objects, a car ramp or wooden pull toy that teaches her cause and effect, and of course, toddler books that reinforce her understanding of the routines and people in her world, that she will no doubt ask to read over and over again!
As she gets closer to 24 months, she can also start to experiment with basic games like First Orchard—especially now that she is learning to follow simple commands. Watch as she explores and experiments with different ways to play the game!
25 to 36 Months: Pretend play, Every Day
As she moves through her third year, she becomes an independent, high-energy storyteller. She loves to act like the adults around her, learning that she can play pretend! That block over there? That’s not a block, it’s a phone—let’s call grandma! It’s the perfect time to design her play space around imaginative play and problem-solving—incorporating tools that can set up an infinite number of storylines that develop language, explore emotions, practice and refine motor skills, and practice relationship skills.
She will benefit from your modeling and close observation as you set up simple stories. Some of our favorite tools are ones that can also grow with your child beyond age 3—for example, a wooden play kitchen and play food, building tools like LEGO, Earthtiles, open-ended toys like wooden blocks and shapes, story-enablers like My Family Builders (where the pieces can be mixed and matched to make different types of families) and Maileg, whose little mice and furniture can be grouped into whimsical narratives. Dress-up is another fun tool she can use in her world of fantastic free play.
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Disciplining kids of all ages can be tricky. We’ve all been in the heat of the moment when frustrations are high, and the default impulse to yell at or shame a misbehaving child is difficult to resist. According to experts, these tactics are minimally effective in the short term and entirely ineffective in the long term. “Children aren’t misbehaving because they are bad,” says Carole Kramer Arsenault, CEO of Boston Baby Nurse & Nanny. “They are trying to learn, and how we respond will have a huge impact on their development.”
Instead of losing your cool, engaging in positive discipline practices can help to more effectively manage unwanted or inappropriate behavior and allow little ones to genuinely learn and understand lessons about the consequences of their behavior. We consulted parenting experts for practical advice to help kids and parents weather the storms of tantrums, misbehaving, and acting out—scroll down to see 10 simple and effective disciplinary phrases to try the next time you need to put your foot down.
1. “Let’s talk about it calmly.” Defusing and de-escalating a tense situation is often the first order of business when disciplining a child. “Parents and kids are stressed like never before,” says Kramer Arsenault. “When you think back to how parents have traditionally responded to [their kids’] big emotions, it was often to react with similarly big emotions. Instead, our mindset about disciplining children needs to shift.” As an author, registered nurse, certified parenting coach, and mother of three, Kramer Arsenault said that rather than disciplining as punishment, parents should use these as teachable moments, starting from a calm place.
2. “Stop. Keep your hands to yourself.” In a circumstance where a child’s behavior may be hurting others, such as biting or hitting, Kramer Arsenault said it’s essential for parents to provide clarity in their directions to ensure parent and child are on the same page. “Instead of saying ‘You know you should keep your hands to yourself, right?’ it’s better to say it as a statement rather than ask a question.” Be firm and direct.
3. “No means no.” Being kind but firm is important to establish boundaries for a child. According to Dr. Stephen Bavolek, author of Nurturing Parenting Programs, setting boundaries and expectations for children helps build important life skills, including patience, problem solving, responsibility, and self-discipline. “The purpose of family rules is for parents and children to establish consistent guidelines that will help everyone know what is and isn’t expected of them,” said Bavolek.
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4. “Try to do better.” Acknowledging that there is an opportunity to do better is important for a child’s growth. Maureen Healey, child development expert and author of “The Emotionally Healthy Child,” says, “When we’re upset, we may scream or slam doors, but moving from reactivity to responsiveness is the path to positive emotional health.” Encouraging children to catch themselves and make different, better choices is an important life lesson.
5. “Consider the consequences.” Trying to reason with an upset child can seem like a Sisyphean task, but guiding a child to understand the consequences of her actions can have a lasting impact. “Having clear expectations is very important,” says Kramer Arsenault. “But sharing the consequences of actions is just as important, too.”
6. “Let’s take some deep breaths together.” Tense situations between parent and child sometimes warrant time outs for both parties to allow the heated moment to pass. According to the American Academy of Pediatrics, effective discipline to raise healthy children does not include any form of corporal punishment. Researchers have linked corporal punishment to an increased risk of negative behavioral, cognitive, psychosocial, and emotional outcomes for children.
7. “Can I find a special toy for you?” If a child is fighting over a toy with another child, redirecting their attention and refocusing on something else can alleviate the tension. Children sometimes misbehave because they are hungry, bored, or don’t know any better. Experts said encouraging something new or different to focus on is a useful reframing and disciplining tactic.
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8. “It’s OK to be upset.” Permitting children to experience their feelings is important to developing their sense of self and security. “Kids have a lot of emotions and outbursts, and sometimes they don’t understand why,” says Kramer Arsenault. “Just explaining and teaching them that it’s OK to feel upset is an important lesson.”
9. “Can you choose a better word to use?” Talking back or potty talk can be alarming. For example, parents may experience their potty-training kid suddenly expressing themselves with colorful (and inappropriate) language like “poopy-head.” Fortunately, the American Academy of Pediatrics assures that this is a normal developmental stage, and parents should avoid overreacting or making light of unwanted language. Instead, encourage problem solving and finding better, more appropriate language.
10. Sometimes, silence is golden. While there are serious misbehaviors that should never be ignored—including aggression or anything that puts a child or others in harm’s way—selectively ignoring relatively minor, negative attention-seeking actions, such as whining, temper tantrums, and talking back, may help to curtail those problematic behaviors in children. According to research, positive reinforcement through praise and support, with consistency and clarity, results in greater emotional stability and health of children.
When words fail, Boston Baby Nurse & Nanny’s Carole Kramer Arsenault suggested three simple reminders:
Parents need to better educate themselves to appropriate, positive disciplining.
Parents can build trust with their children through consistency and clarity.
Lastly, and most importantly, parents should model the behavior they want from their children.
We had a chat with the world’s most famous groundhog. Find out what he had to say
Each year on Feb. 2, the town of Punxsutawney, Pennsylvania celebrates Groundhog Day and their resident legend, Punxsutawney Phil. Phil’s the guy whose shadow (or not) lets you know how many weeks of winter are to come. According to tradition if he pops out of his hole, sees his shadow, and heads back in, there will be six more weeks of winter. Otherwise, it’s an early spring. We caught up with lil’ Phil to find out more about the critter behind the legend: read on to hear Phil dish on the weather, love, and life underground.
TNY: Phil, thanks for taking the time to speak with us. We know you’re busy.
PP: No problem: Actually, the town is doing all the prep work. At this point in my career, I just snack and then put on a top hat when someone says “go-time!” I hibernate during the winter, so overall, it’s pretty chill.
TNY: Phil, you sound so relaxed. Truthtell: Have you always been able to take it easy, or was there a time when you really felt the pressure of your job?
PP: When I was a young kit, there were some nerve-wracking moments. I mean, it’s my call if you’re going to see spring flowers blooming soon or if you need to keep your snow boots near the door. Back then, it was before television or the internet, so people were really relying on me to predict the future. And if I was wrong, well, that’s how Mr. McGregor’s garden froze over.
TNY: Have you ever been wrong?
PP: No, although unforeseen weather patterns can change the outcome, especially in today’s climate. My job is to give my best guess. So in that way, I can’t really ever be wrong.
TNY: Is it really true that you’ve been predicting since 1886? Zoologists say that is impossible: that a groundhog’s maximum life span is just six years.
PP: No comment.
TNY: Has anyone ever tried to sway you toward winter or spring?
PP: Well, I’m not going to name any names but there was a rather well-to-do seed company that came poking around my den in late January. This was a few years back. They left a basket full of indoor-grown (hydroponic or some such nonsense) vegetables for me to eat. There was a little note that said, “Hope you enjoy the bounty of an early spring.” They never came out and said, “Pick spring!” but I got the message. Early spring is good for crops.
TNY: What did you do? PP: I did what any self-respecting groundhog would do. I ate all the vegetables and then predicted exactly what I saw. Punxsutawney Phil don’t do bribery.
TNY: What’s with the top hats?
PP: It’s the way you know whose part of my Inner Circle: their signature top hats and tuxes. The Inner Circle is like the President’s advisors. Everyone needs their peeps, and mine help convey my prediction with dignity.
TNY: So the tradition is that two scrolls are placed near your stump, one for winter and one for spring, which you direct the Vice President of the Inner Circle to choose from. Do they actually have the words “winter” and “spring” written on them?
PP: Yes, but it’s in Groundhog-ese. Only Inner Circle members (and other groundhogs) know this complex language.
TNY: Are you married?
PP: My current partner and I have been together for 25 years this April. We have 30 kits, most of them now full-grown with families and burrows of their own.
TNY: Have you had any career highs and lows?
PP: Like any job, there are definite ups and downs. Going on the Oprah Winfrey Show back in 1995 was pretty thrilling. Last year I was almost arrested for my prediction. The charges have been dropped, so I can talk about it now. It was pretty scary. But as I said, this isn’t an exact science. And if you can’t arrest the weatherman for being off, you can’t arrest me.
TNY: Any spoilers on winter vs. spring? PP: Haha. I can’t say at this time but if you come to Punxsutawney you’ll be the first to know.
TNY: Thanks for your time, Punxsutawney Phil. Any parting words?
PP: Yes. A lot of farmers and home gardeners campaign against groundhogs because they say we eat their food crops. I want to go on record saying that not all groundhogs are thieves: in fact, most of us are hardworking with dozens of mouths to feed. I hope people have more compassion for the noble groundhog.
Let’s get talking! Every baby learns at their own pace, but there’s plenty you can do to encourage your little bundle of joy’s first words. Because when it comes to baby language development, the more talking, reading, and singing you and baby do together, the better. So the next time you and your little one have some downtime or need something new to do, try one of these easy games that offer simple ways to encourage those precious first words through play.
But first, a few things to remember about baby speech development. Although most babies start to talk around that one-year mark, they spend lots of time learning how to speak in their first year. They notice how parents, siblings, and others respond when they make a sound—whether it’s a cry, a coo, or a squeal of delight—and learn from it. They start to babble. They point and gesture. They mimic conversation in the most irresistible way. Before you know it, they’ll be talking up a storm. Until then, pull out these baby language development games that are even fun for you, too.
Make your own puppet (like this adorable fox pictured above), find one at the store, or just slip a sock over your hand. Any way you do it, you can engage your child’s imagination and language skills by creating new characters with different voices. Your baby will be babbling or talking back to your hand in no time. It’s one of the easiest baby language development ideas out there.
2. Mimicry
Go ahead and say “mom mom mom mom” to your little one every day, several times a day if you like! Jackie’s baby at I Heart Arts and Crafts sure thinks it’s funny, and you might, too. Mimic what your baby says to get them in the mood. Even cooing back to the tiniest baby works that part of their brain.
3. Ring Ring
Why not give baby a call and see what they have to say? Babies love pretend telephone calls, and they all involve some important vocabulary: Hello and goodbye, mama, dada, nana, etc. They also get to talk just for the fun of talking. Some kids who are less enthusiastic about talking seem to be encouraged when they get to play with a toy phone that looks just like yours.
4. Tickle My Feet
Help support baby language development when you connect with their toes (and delight them at the same time) with a few rounds of This Little Piggie. Repeat as many times as you both can stand it, as repetition is crucial for babies to learn and understand language. Be gentle on the littlest babies to avoid overstimulation, but older babies may need a tickle tackle when you’re done.
Introduce vocabulary with discovery baskets. They don’t have to be anything fancy – the container and objects can all be things you have around the house. Choose objects based on color, different foods, different textures, shiny things, things that have a smell – whatever you choose, take out each object and talk about it, and let baby play with the objects however they would like.
Research shows that infants are born understanding a bit more about numbers and arithmetic than you might think, and wow, do they love counting. Count three objects or claps with a steady rhythm, “One two three! One two three!” Repeat a few times, and then start counting to five. Create your own counting rhymes about your family or their favorite toys.
7. Big and Little
Help your little one learn the difference between “big” and “little” by giving baby two similar objects of differing size, like a big ball and a small ball. Say “This is the big ball; this is the small ball.” Talk to your little one about what you’re doing as you roll the balls, and ask baby to hand you the big ball or small ball.
8. Baby Jigsaw Peekaboo
Make your own jigsaw puzzle, and baby will be delighted by pictures of other babies, or of the faces of people they know and love. Talk about the puzzle, while you’re putting it together, repeating the names of those pictured. As they grow older, they’ll be able to use the puzzle to practice other skills, such as hand-eye coordination and pincer grasp.
9. I Know My Name
Observe your baby’s reactions to her name. Poke your head in his room and say his name, and then see what happens when you say another name. Insert her name in silly songs, and emphasize it in general conversations. If she reacts to her name, reinforce it. “Shannon likes eating yogurt. Yes, Shannon! We were talking about you!”
10. Talk, Sing, Read: Repeat
The more language they’re exposed to, the better. Narrate everything you do, and everywhere you go. People in the grocery store understand – they’re probably looking at how cute your babe is, anyway, not at you chattering away. Sing every day, even if you can’t carry a tune. Read books every day, even if baby can’t hold their head up. All these interactions are the building blocks of language and literacy.
These tips will have your toddler talking in no time
Did you know that the average 18-month-old knows around 50 words? The toddler years are an absolutely crucial time for developing language skills and picking up new vocabulary. But that doesn’t mean you should stress about it! There are tons of easy (and fun) ways you can help your tiny human learn new words without going out of your way—just take it from this speech therapist on TikTok.
@_missmichael shared five tips for parents to help their toddlers pick up more words just while going about their everyday tasks, and you’re going to want to try ’em out ASAP.
Tip No. 1? You can probably guess it: Read to your little.
“Books, books, books, books,” @_missmichael says. “Read to your babies. You can start at birth.”
She continues, “No. 2: Narrate or sportscast. This doesn’t require you to take any time out of your day. While you’re doing a thing, you’re just talking about it.”
She gives an example: “Let’s go change your diaper. Lift up your legs. I see your toes! Here comes a cold wipe.”
Tip No. 3 is another simple one: “Following directions by helping you find things and giving you things.” For example, when you’re looking for something around your house, ask your toddler where it is and have them join in the search. Or, when you’re clearing off the table, involve them by asking, “Can I have your spoon?” and pointing to it.
Tip No. 4 is related to that one: “Use gestures and visuals.” As @_missmichael explains, “Point to what you’re talking about. Hold up what you’re talking about. Use sign language or do actions with songs.”
And finally, tip No. 5 is simply to have fun helping your baby learn. Smile and laugh, because, “If they’re laughing, they’re learning.”
All of these suggestions can be incorporated into a parent’s day-to-day routine—and best of all, they’ll make language development both easy and stress-free.
You’ve heard reading aloud is critical to your child’s success and you strive to get it in most nights when you can. Sometimes, though, it’s just hard to put in the time. You work long hours, you’re tired, homework went on forever or after-school activities ended late and you just want to skip story time tonight. For all the many reasons why that seems like a good idea, here are five solid reasons in favor of reading aloud consistently (just 10 minutes!) when you need a little motivation.
5 great reasons to read aloud to your child
Modeling fluency skills: Children need to hear adult, skilled readers model what good fluency sounds like when they read aloud so they can copy that sound. A reader is fluent when the words flow together well and are not choppy or slow. The more you can model how the words should flow well together when you read (as well as stopping at periods, pausing at commas, and obeying the other punctuation marks too) the better your child will pick up this skill.
Modeling language and vocabulary:books are amazing for increasing children’s understanding of language and learning new vocabulary words. Even simple children’s books often have a rich vocabulary that is not in our everyday conversation and therefore children do not hear it. In order to know a word, it needs to be used, in context (in the story) and so reading aloud is the perfect way to share new words with children.
Sharing quality time together: In the craziness that is life these days, we often don’t have more than 10 minutes a day of quality time to spend with family members. Reading books aloud together creates this time and allows us to be in the moment with our children, enjoying their company as well as a good story and it also builds memories that will last a long time.
Make a statement: “We value reading.” When we do it together every day, we are telling our children that reading is important in our home, and it’s a habit that is a part of our lives. When we skip days or find too often that we allow other excuses to take the place of reading time, we are sending our children the message that reading takes a back seat to those distractions and that message is powerful.
Relaxation: Reading is a relaxing activity. By choosing to read aloud at night before bed, we are winding down each day in a relaxing way in a way that screens such as cell phones and iPads don’t allow for.
Monica, mom to 11-year-old Zane, says this about reading aloud, “It’s often very easy to slip into a million reasons why we can’t make time at night to read a book together. Once we started allowing ourselves to be distracted, it just got even easier. However, we knew that was not going to help Zane with reading so we promised each other that reading aloud would come first. Since we made it a top priority, we don’t let each other miss our nightly story and Zane’s teacher has told us that his reading has improved in school.”
If you’re finding it hard to get in the time, strive for just 10 minutes a night. This is enough time for a short picture book, or chapter in a simple chapter book, and will ensure you don’t let distractions get in the way of this time together. Then on nights that are less busy, work towards reading for 30 minutes together. I promise it will be one of the best ways you can spend time as a family.
I am passionate about helping families raise children who LOVE to read. I createdInnovative Reading to provide easy activities to moms and dads who have children that dislike reading and that struggle to read. Together we can help your child become a confident and happy reader with only 10 minutes of time a night. (www.InnovativeReading.com)
Show Dad the L-O-V-E this year with a crafty card made at home
Father’s Day is nearly here! To celebrate the amazing job your special dad does every day, why not celebrate with one of these homemade Father’s Day card ideas? You don’t have to be a master crafter or daring DIYer to make one, so dust off your crafting stash and check out some genius Father’s Day cards!
This adorable handmade Father’s Day card idea is pretty easy, and it’s definitely one he’ll want to keep. Have your kids pick out the character they want to use, and have fun with it.
This Bomb Pop card is a super cute and easy way to make a card your kid’s “pop” will love! Also, take the perfect opportunity to follow it up with actual yummy Bomb Pops afterward.
This homemade Father’s Day card idea perfectly fits the bill for the handyman in your life.
Cricut-Made Father's Day Card Idea
Karly Wood
Is the dad in your life into everything? This DIY card is the perfect fit! Made with a Cricut Joy, we snagged this completely free design and let this mini machine do all the work. Peppered with images of outdoor activities, and typical dad icons, this card will perfectly communicate about your fave father.
For DIY-obsessed dads, we love this easy idea from Lil’ Luna. It’s a free printable, so all you have to do is print it out, cut it out and stick it on the gift card of your choice.
Get your little one involved in making this simple homemade Father's Day card idea from Solis Plus One. Tots can go to town filling the page with color.
Emojis are so yesterday. Use sign language to tell Dad how you really feel about him. Delia Creates has designed stylish (and free) downloadable templates that your sidekick can use to choose just the right message to tell Dad how much he means to everyone. It’s almost too easy!
Timepieces like this creative fill-it-out-yourself booklet designed by Hello, Wonderful are what memories are made of. Your guy will forever cherish the innocently hilarious answers his kiddos give to creative questions like, “the most fun thing I’ve done with my dad is…” and “my dad smells like…”.
Surprise Dad when he walks through the door on his special day with this colorful card that doubles as a banner. Let him slowly pull out the greeting, like a magician pulling an endless string of hankies from his sleeve. Then hang it across the mantle, so Dad really gets the message. Skip over to Modern Parents Messy Kids for the tutorial.
This coloring superhero card by Alpha Mom is an easy-breezy option that ranks high on the cuteness factor—the best combo if we say so ourselves. The kids can customize the fill-in-the-blank section to make it their very own.
Chalk, check. Driveway, check. Adorable kids that make your photo come to life, double check. That’s everything you need to make this sweet Father’s Day card we spotted over at Crafty Texas Girls. Looking for a gift too? Have the photo turned into a mug, mousepad, or keychain!
Between a great meal, a nap, a chance to cheer for his favorite team or dad-on-kid quality time, you can keep it simple when deciding on Dad's gift this year. This printable card from Julep is ready for him to spin the wheel of wish lists and decide just what he wants most for Father’s Day. Card AND gift completed.
Celebrate the spider-killing, boo-boo-kissing guy who waits patiently at the bottom of the slide so his cutie pie can slide confidently down, knowing he’ll be there, with this well-earned jar of goodies. Let your little one decide what to fill it with. And find the free printable at Tatertots and Jello.
This bow-tie card is a keeper, especially when you take a photo of your little one holding it and turn it into a gift or (even better!) dad’s new screen saver. The template and tutorial are available at Julep. This a perfect DIY card for the three and under set—easy-peasy—just the way we like it!
