Keep your little one in good spirits right through New Year’s Eve with these relative wrangling, calendar managing, baby prioritizing tips
The holidays can be a magical time, especially when there’s a brand-new little one to share in all the sparkly joy. But when too many seasonal happenings pile up on top of baby duties, your stress levels can get dialed up to 11, making the magic feel more like madness. To help you pull off the perfect balancing act of keeping your sanity and making precious new memories, we came up with a list of do’s and don’ts for your baby’s first Christmas.
1. Do take lots of pictures. You’ll delight in looking back at the shots of your bundled-up little one exploring their first snow day or banging away with their first dreidel.
2. Don’t feel pressure to make a big holiday meal from scratch. Unless you adore cooking and wait months for the chance to roast a turkey, this may be the year to order a pre-made meal or host a festive potluck.
3. Do respect your baby’s schedule. If your little one has settled into a routine, staying up late for too many nights can lead to joy-smashing meltdowns. Whenever it’s possible, keep up with nap and bedtime routines, and you and your little one will be well-rested and ready for holiday adventures.
4. Do take advantage of all the relatives’ love. If Aunt Jeannie wants to hold the baby for a few hours, it’ll give you the perfect opportunity to shower or take a walk. For many modern parents living far away from extended family, the holidays are the only time to have a village of support, so make the most of it!
5. Don’t be afraid to say no. If you’re too tired to go to midnight mass or attend however many holiday parties, skip it. Feel free to make liberal use of your awesome excuse: I just had a baby. The holidays are no fun if nerves are frayed and little ones are wailing, so throw out the rules and preserve a little space for rest.
6. Do take time to fit in something special to you, whether it’s driving around to see holiday lights or devouring gingerbread men. If you have the energy, you can start a family tradition, like reading ‘Twas the Night Before Christmas by candlelight, but keep it low-key. You have many more holidays in your future to create new traditions with your wee one!
7. Do bring a carefully selected bunch of baby necessities along if you’re traveling, like a favorite blanket and beloved pacifier. Ask the grandparents to have all the other essentials ready when you arrive, like diapers in the right size, so you can settle right in and get to celebrating. As for how to handle flying with a baby, check out our helpful tips here.
8. Don’t feel compelled to take a long trip. If your little one is only a few weeks old, or you’re exhausted from balancing work and new mama-hood, celebrate your baby’s first Christmas at home. Keeping it low-key means instead of risking being snowed in at an airport with a newborn—you can schedule a family visit for another time with less pressure and less risk of airplane delays.
9. Don’t blow your budget on expensive gifts. Babies don’t need a ton of shiny new toys to unwrap–most are just as happy with an empty box and a classic wooden rattle. On the other hand, if you still need a few choice pieces of baby gear, like a jogging stroller, the holidays can be a perfect time to ask Santa to slip a little something under the tree for you both.
10. Do take walks in a winter wonderland. Bundle up and get outside. With a few extra layers, babies can marvel at the sparkling snow. Plus, a little fresh air keeps the cabin fever away.
11. Do remember that while this may be your baby’s first Christmas, it’s not the only holiday. You’ll have many years to introduce your kiddo to pumpkin pie and sleigh rides. Keep it simple and focus on what’s meaningful and what brings you and your family joy.
Make sure to capture all the memories—and share them with your family and friends near and far—with the Tinybeans app. The secure platform puts parents in total control of who sees and interacts with photos and videos of their kids.
To me, there are things more important than just having a good day
A lot of parents say, “Have a good day!” to their kids as either party leaves the house. But I don’t just want my children to have a good day—even though that is important to me. There are other things I want them to also achieve and remember throughout their day. So, I started utilizing a short catchphrase I came across that embodies my hopes for my children’s day:
“Be good. Learn lots. Do your best. Have fun.”
It may seem silly, but it has actually worked for my family. I had always wanted to find a simple way to not only improve communication with my kids but also help them internalize what I say. Using this catchphrase ensures that they’ll remember my message as they go about their day and hopefully act on it.
While the catchphrase is simple enough, there’s a wealth of meaning behind it.
Be Good
When I tell my kids this, it’s partly a reminder for them to follow the rules and guidance of their teacher. However, it’s also a reminder to do good by others and to be kind, respectful and caring towards those they run into. I want to motivate them to do the right thing as they go through their day.
Learn Lots
Kids are naturally curious. They ask hundreds of questions every day as they seek to learn how things work and why things are the way they are. By telling my kids to learn lots, I’m encouraging them to hold onto their curiosity and to find all the answers that they can.
I want them to embrace learning as part of their lives and to increase both their academic prowess and their social competence. Every situation provides an opportunity to learn something new, and when they hear this phrase, I hope they remember to remain open to discovering new things.
I tell my kids that I’ll always be proud of them as long as they do their best in whatever they’re doing, regardless of the outcome. I want them to focus on putting their best foot forward rather than focusing on winning or just getting something done for the sake of it. I encourage them to learn from failure and remind them that doing their best is always good enough.
Have Fun
I want my kids to be kids and enjoy their childhood, and this part of the catchphrase reminds them to do just that. It’s also a reminder to me not to let my expectations of my kids get in the way of their enjoyment of particular activities. Parents have a way of putting undue pressure on kids to perform, and this can do more harm than good. So this phrase reminds me to let go of my expectations and let my kids just have fun.
My kids know these words by heart, and I hope the message behind them sinks in to help guide their thoughts, decisions, and behavior even when I’m not around.
Tyler Jacobson is a happy husband, father of three, writer and outreach specialist with experience with organizations that help troubled teens and parents. His areas of focus include: parenting, social media, addiction, mental illness, and issues facing teenagers today.
Spring has sprung in NYC, and that means the city is soon going to be full of flowers. From cherry trees in Central Park and the Brooklyn Botanic Garden, to displays of daffodils, tulips and more at parks in every borough, Mother Nature is giving us lots of reasons to get out of the house with kids and soak up some sun. Read on to find out where, and when to catch the best spring flowers in bloom in NYC.
Manhattan
Central Park
Samuel Stone Pixabay
Central Park's massive size and diverse topography provides a wide variety of places to see flowers in bloom.
Jacqueline Kennedy Onassis Reservoir Bridle Path: In early and mid-April you'll find a stunning display of cherry trees in bloom along the reservoir. Enter at 90th and Fifth at the Engineers' Gate and walk north.
Pilgrim Hill: Popular with sledders in winter, this spot at E. 72nd and Fifth is also a prime place to see Yoshino cherry trees in bloom in mid-April.
Swedish Cottage (Marionette Theater): This famous venue is charming any time of year, but in April and May, when the surrounding landscape is dotted tulips, daffodils and other spring bulbs, it looks straight out of a fairy tale. Find it on the Park's west side near 79th Street.
Cherry Hill: A gentle slope named for the trees that bloom delicate white and pink flowers Cherry Hill overlooks the park's lake. It's mid-park at 72nd Street.
If you're looking for something specific, check out the Central Park Conservancy's Bloom & Tree Guide, which you can search by plant, type, month and more.
Riverside Park
Janet Lombardo
This large park along the west side of Manhattan runs from 72nd Street up to 158th Street, and you can find lots of fabulous displays at various points. Check out:
Sakura Park at 122nd St: Named for the cherry trees you'll find in bloom here, usually in mid-April
83rd Street: near Mt. Tom and Warsaw Ghetto Memorial
91st Street, at the Promenade: The Garden People’s Garden is a community garden that has been maintained by volunteers for decades And if you keep walking north, you’ll come up to Crabapple Grove, which has gorgeous blossoms in the spring)
Hudson River Park
Max Guliani for Hudson River Park
Spanning 550 acres along the west side of Manhattan (from the northern end of Battery Park City to W. 59th Street in Hell's Kitchen), Hudson River Park offers four miles of waterside recreation.
Find out what's in bloom at any given time in the park with the Hudson River Park Conservancy's Bloom Guide, which you can find here.
March typically brings Star Magnolias and Saucer Magnolias, and cherry trees should be blooming in early April, along with tulips. (You can see 2021's bloom timetable here.)
Another spot to catch some cherry trees in bloom is Randall's Island. The island's display is so impressive there is a Cherry Blossom Festival here, as well. (No plans for a 2021 fest though.) The cherry trees of different species start blooming in early April and continue through the month and into May. You can see a guide to the Island's cherry tree bloom here.
Sprawling over 600 acres, this Olmsted & Vaux urban green space includes open spaces, woodsy enclaves and waterside spots. (Not to mention lots of places to play.)
You can see what's in bloom in Prospect Park thanks to the Prospect Park Alliance's spring bloom guide.
Highlights include:
Grand Army Plaza: Early spring brings early-blooming cherry trees, tulips and daffodils; later you'll see Eastern redbuds, and pink, late-blooming cherry trees.
LeFrak Center at Lakeside: Find an early spring display of bright yellow and orange Witch Hazel here. With warmer temps in April comes a profusion of white blossoms from Serviceberry, Chokeberry, Witch Alder, and Foxglove Beardtongue. Late spring brings a final act of flowering dogwoods and dewberries.
Litchfield Villa: In front of this stately pre-Civil War era mansion on Prospect Park West, you'll find Carmen’s Garden, which features an impressive tulip display in April. May brings pink and white blossoms of crabapple and hawthorn trees, with an assist from colorful annuals. In back of the building you'll find Korean dogwood trees with cream-colored flowers.
Long Meadow: A popular spot for lounging, sunbathing and picnicking, the Long Meadow is also home to several kids of fragrant flowering trees. At the north end, peach and white magnolia and dogwood trees bloom in early spring, and later lilacs bloom along with hanging yellowwood blooms.
Not too far from Prospect Park is the Brooklyn Botanic Garden, home to one of the biggest cherry blossom festivals in the city, which takes place in mid-April. No word on if that is happening in 2022, but hours are extended from April 15-May 15 to allow extra time to enjoy the cherry blossoms. (Want to know when the trees will bloom? It's not an exact science, but this may help. Many continue into May. For the latest on what trees have bloomed check out this bloom tracker which is updated daily.)
Early spring brings lots of other gorgeous blooms though: the garden's display of magnolia trees is gorgeous and luxurious, and you can see many, many spring bulbs here, such as daffodils, crocuses, snowdrops and tiny dutch irises. Also in April, the tulip display around the garden's central pool is striking.
Lilacs start in April and go through June, depending on the variety.
990 Washington Ave. Crown Heights 718-623-7200 Online: bbg.org
Green-wood Cemetery
Amy Nieporent
Founded in 1838 and now a National Historic Landmark, Green-wood Cemetery welcomes the public seven days a week. Its 478 acres are filled with natural beauty in the form of towering trees, flowering shrubs, blooming perennials and returning bulbs. It is another place you'll find gorgeous cherry trees in bloom in April and May; look for them in the areas of Valley Water and Battle Hill. To make navigating the cemetery easier, download the Green-wood app, which includes maps and lots of info and media (video, audio) on the history, nature and art of the Landmark.
500 25th St. 718-210-3080 Windsor Terrace Online: green-wood.com
As one would expect, the New York Botanical Garden is a spectacular place to see spring (and summer!) blooms. (The Garden's annual Orchid Show, featuring Jeff Leatham's Kaleidoscope, is also on display until May 1.)
The Garden's impressive collection of daffodils numbers is literally the hundreds of thousands, and you can find the yellow flowers in several places here. and don’t miss In April, Daffodil Hill is covered with them, and you'll find many antique cultivars that were planted in the early 20th century. The Rock Garden is home to tiny species of daffodils no more than three inches high, still more varieties can be found on the Daylily/Daffodil Walk, and Daffodil Valley is where the Murray Liasson Narcissus Collection is located. See how far along the daffodil bloom is with the Garden's Daffodil Tracker.
You'll find all kinds of spring-flowering trees here, including crabapple, magnolia and cherry trees, and Mother's Day is about when the NYBG Azalea Garden puts on an amazing display. (You can follow the azalea bloom with this tracker.)
The lilac collection, which blooms in early and late spring thanks to a wide variety of plants, dates to 1896 and has been a popular draw for more than a hundred years. It was expanded in 2016.
This public garden and cultural center in the Bronx has extended its hours for spring from 10 a.m. - 5:30 p.m., Tuesday through Sunday. It's a pleasure to visit any season, but spring highlights are tulips, magnolias, trillium and glory-of-the-snow.
Wav Hill hosts many programs for kids and families including weekly family art projects, bird-watching, and more.
Note that you must reserve tickets in advance to visit Wave Hill.
Spring at The Queens Botanical Garden brings blooming cherry trees on Cherry Circle, magnolias on Magnolia Path, vibrant displays of daffodils and tulips, viburnum, dogwood, eastern redbud and more. To see what's blooming when, click here.
Not too far from the Queens Botanical Garden is Flushing Meadows Corona Park, the former site of the 1939 and 1964 World's Fair. The park's impressive Unisphere is surrounded by scores of flowering trees throughout April, and there's lots more to explore once you've taken in the display. Check out the New York Hall of Science, the Queens Museum, the Queens Zoo,
This 83-acre campus on Staten Island is home to numerous cultural institutions and gardens, including The New York Chinese Scholar’s Garden (NYCSG), one of two authentic classical outdoor Chinese gardens built in the United States. Built entirely with architectural elements created in Suzhou, China, the NYCSG puts on a beautiful show in spring with flowering magnolias, cherries, mahonia, jasmine, and redbud. Much of Snug Harbor is free to explore, but admission to NYCSG is $5 per person, with kids under five admitted for free. (Staten Island residents are free the first Saturday of every month.)
Another must with kids is the Connie Gretz Secret Garden, an enclosed space with a shrub maze and three towers that resemble castle turrets. It is inspired by the book The Secret Garden and admission is $3 for kids and free for adults accompanied by a child. (It recently has only been open on Sundays.)
Need more to explore? Check out the Staten Island Museum, the Staten Island Children’s Museum and the Noble Maritime Collection, all of which are also at Snug Harbor.
1000 Richmond Terr. 718-425-3504 Staten Island Online: snug-harbor.org
Today’s theme is: a time you were at your lowest and nobody knew.
This was Alex’s grade seven graduation day. We were beyond ecstatic. Alex did not enjoy elementary school for the most part. Grade seven was the exception. It was a perfect mix of a fantastic teacher, wonderful aide and a group of lovely kids who all made him feel comfortable and accepted.
The majority of the rest of his time there was hard on all of us. There were so many times when he resisted going. To the point of us having to pry his fingers off the doorframe to not be late.
We got a lot of calls, emails and daily reports about how he wasn’t able to do this or that. He wasn’t even able to just ‘be’ at school. It was disheartening and often traumatic, to say the least. This was a period of years when he had a lot of meltdowns. We were almost always on eggshells waiting for the next one to happen.
This graduation day started off great. We were so happy to be moving on while simultaneously anxious about what high school would bring. I pressed his clothes and helped him dress. I took a moment to admire my handsome boy in his new shirt and blazer that I had bought special for the occasion. He fidgeted a little but managed.
I proceeded to get myself ready and it all started to hit me. The auditorium would soon be filled with all the school staff, students and lots and lots of families. What if it’s all too much for him? What if he has an epic meltdown and we need to physically escort him out of there screaming and crying with all those eyes on us? My face got hot at the thought. All the memories from the past eight years came back. The thought of what if high school is no better?
My mind went down the rabbit hole, and before I knew it, I was breathing really shallow. I felt like I was suffocating. I started to sweat and tremble. I raced to the window and threw it open and stuck my head out for some fresh air, but it was already warm out so that didn’t help. I was having a full on panic attack. I realized it too which made me panic even more. Thankfully, I turned the cold water on and splashed my face and neck and it kind of snapped me out.
I then proceeded to bawl my eyes out and silently ask why everything has to be so hard and why can’t we just enjoy this day like everyone else? I took a few minutes to collect myself and reapply my now smeared makeup.
I didn’t tell anyone. We went to the graduation ceremony and ended up having one of the best days ever with Alex. He was happy and smiling and we got some amazing pictures. No meltdowns. Probably helped that we kept reminding him after that day that he would never have to go back and then we were getting a treat after, lol.
I remember sitting in that school auditorium, looking around at all the parents and thinking, “If you only knew what it took to get us here.”
Hi! My name is Laura and I'm a mom of two beautiful kids in Vancouver, Canada. I write a blog on Facebook called The Autism Ride, all about the ups and downs in life with our teenaged son on the spectrum.
Babies are lots of things—precious, sweet, funny, adorable, the list goes on. But one thing they are not? Easy. And that applies whether you’re a first-timer or a seasoned pro at the mom game. The good thing is, you’re not alone in navigating the crazy, messy, amazing journey of being a baby mama. Those who have gone before are always ready to offer their best advice. Here are 25 short-and-sweet parenting tips on everything from sleep and must-have baby gear to self-care.
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1. Go slow and spend lots of time at home. It will keep mommy and baby healthy.
2. Have a routine and stick to it.
3. When in doubt, put them on the boob or add water (bath, shower, sprinkler, hydrate).
4. Don't scroll Facebook while you nurse in the middle of the night. It’s harder to get back to sleep, and you’ll miss out on savoring the time with your baby. It really goes by so quickly, although it doesn't feel like when you're nursing several hours a day!
5. Never wake a sleeping baby.
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6. Oldest and best advice in the book: Rest when they rest. Housework can wait.
7. Babies get bored, too! A change of scenery, like a walk around the neighborhood, can work wonders on a grumpy baby.
8. Find your village and ask for help. And if someone offers to come help if you need a shower or a nap, or to do the dishes, take them up on it!
9. There is no such thing as holding your baby too much. Embrace the little moments, be present, and enjoy that little person.
10. If the baby is fed, clothed, and loved, you’re doing everything right. There will be a million opinions on your parenting, so be kind to yourself as long as you know you’re doing your best.
11. Be patient with yourself and baby. You are both new at this. It takes time to get into the swing of things.
13. Take time for yourself. When your needs are met, you are more centered, patient and compassionate.
14. Don’t spend tons of money on baby clothes right away. There is ALWAYS a mom who is desperate to get rid of all the cute little outfits she sadly never got to use because babies grow out of things so fast.
16. Onesie pajamas with zippers only…unless, of course, fumbling with snaps when you’re bleary-eyed and half-asleep during middle-of-the-night diaper changes sounds like fun.
17. Try out different baby carriers until you find one that works for you, then baby wear as much as you can. It makes things so much easier.
18. Velcro swaddles—safe and snug.
19. Gripe water!
20. If you have anxiety while baby is sleeping, get an Owlet or other sleep monitor. Your rest is worth it.
Do you have a reader who hasn’t yet discovered the wonderful world of Harry Potter? This summer could change all that!
Wizarding World has just launched a free virtual hub that will transport first time Harry Potter readers like never before. Harry Potter Reading Magic is all about discovering the story and magic of Harry Potter and the Philosopher’s Stone/Sorcerer’s Stone through a five-week reading journey.
Over the course of the summer, readers can follow along with weekly experiences as they read. Not only will they be able to immerse themselves in the magical chapters, but young wizards and witches can whip up crafts, take quizzes, learn more about characters and rock chapter challenges. If this isn’t a parent’s summertime dream come true, we don’t know what is!
There are also lots of resources for parents, teachers and caregivers, and this fun initiative is poised to return annually.
But parents, you’re in more luck! Harry Potter and the Sorcerer’s Stone is also available to stream free on Alexa from Audible now until the end of July. Just say “Alexa, read Harry Potter Book One,” and sit back to enjoy your quiet time.
We have a (mini) situation! And he has a fantastic name: Romeo Reign. He’s the first child of Mike “The Situation” Sorrentino and wife Lauren Sorrentino.
You’ll likely recognize Mike from the Jersey Shore series, who married his longtime love Lauren Pesce in 2018. They’ve already set up an Instagram account for their new addition with one of the best handles we’ve seen in a while, @itsbabysituation. Baby Romeo’s debut picture is captioned with his weight (six pounds, eight ounces) and length (19 inches).
Romeo’s new Insta account also teases the launch of “Shop Baby Sitch” on June 1. Described as a premium lifestyle baby brand, it will feature products hand-picked by Mike and Lauren. And Baby Situation is feeling lots of love in the comment section, as Snooki, MTV and the Jersey Shore accounts sent congratulations to the family. We’ll join in with our own best wishes to the happy family of three!
—Sarah Shebek
Featured image courtesy of Tinseltown / Shutterstock.com
Warm weather is almost here and that means lots of fun in the sun. When it comes to Minnidip’s new lineup of inflatable pools, you don’t need an Olympic-sized pool to get your splash on!
Sold at Target and minnidip.com, the company’s Spring collection has something for everyone. Moms will not only love the adorable new baby pools and splash pads, they’ll dig the adult-sized pools, too!
Editor’s Note: Here at Red Tricycle, we respect and celebrate every mom’s feeding journey. Bottle? Boob? It doesn’t matter—we believe fed is best. Our Spoke Contributor Network is inclusive and open to all parenting journeys—yours, too!
This really is quite a big question and one that does divide those that work with people who breastfeed. Should we do an assessment before or after the baby is born? Once they’ve got an issue or beforehand to prepare them? Personally, I think it’s best to be prepared as new motherhood can be such an overwhelming time so let’s minimize some of that worry but there are others who feel that breastfeeding support should be given as needed.
Before the Baby Is Here
If you wonder/worry about any of the following:
PCOS: Poly Cystic Ovary Syndrome can result in lowered milk production so you can struggle to begin with. The good news is that your milk supply will increase the more babies you have but it’s still worth getting information on how to manage.
Previous breast surgery: Whether it’s due to a medical issue or cosmetic surgery, medical interventions can result in damage to the delicate tissues contained within so again it’s good to get some resources ready so you can spot any potential issues.
IVF: Now it all depends on why you had it and to be honest there isn’t a whole heap of research on this but it is believed that it can cause issues with breastfeeding for some—so again be prepared!
If you’re worried you just can’t: Now a lot of babies (the vast majority in all honesty!) will latch with no issues and minimal intervention but again it’s worth having a chat with a professional who can give you lots of little tips to avoid you stressing when you don’t need to. C-section, induction, vaginal birth, medication in labor can all have an impact. Flat nipples, small nipples. inverted, big, uneven nipple size, big breasts, small breasts, one side bigger than the other—we’ve seen them all (it’s our job!) and we are trained to advise you on how to feed your baby.
Do you need all that stuff that comes with breastfeeding? Do you really need a pump? Manual, electric, silicone, one you wear, a double or single—which one will work best for you? A pillow? Shields or shells? Isn’t a Hakka something they do in New Zealand? Confused as you just thought you needed your boobs and a baby? Then ask a breastfeeding counselor!
After the Baby Is Here
If you have any of the following:
Pain: Honestly I cannot stress enough—pain in breastfeeding indicates a problem and needs to be addressed. You should not suffer when you feed your child. It doesn’t matter where that pain is in your breast or nipple or stomach or neck and shoulders, having discomfort indicates an issue somewhere. If your emotions are being impacted by your feeding choices/routine that is considered pain as well—ask for help.
Questions: So you’ve had the baby and received brilliant help from the breastfeeding counselor in the hospital however you still have lots of questions and she has lots of other patients to see. A one-on-one session with a breastfeeding counselor will give you the time to fire away all those little ‘does this look right to you?’ worries.
If you are worried about supply: Not producing much when you pump? Does the baby seem to feed a lot? Breasts suddenly don’t seem as full? Will one bottle of formula a day make a difference? All of these are questions that breastfeeding counselors are trained to answer and can reassure you as we are trained to get to know you first before making any comments.
If you have concerns: How often should your baby poo? How will you know that they are full? How will you know that they are hungry? How will you know if they’re full? Feed on demand or to a schedule? Should their poo look like that? Why do they want to eat all the time? Your sister says that [….] shouldn’t happen—is she right? Are you going to spoil your baby by doing too much skin-to-skin? You know what I’m going to say about this don’t you?
If you want to stop: It is believed that our ancestors may have breastfed their young until the age of 7. The natural age of weaning is thought to be between 2 and 4 years of age. Now there are a whole host of reasons why we want to stop breastfeeding and seeing a breastfeeding counselor can make sure that you are doing it in a safe way as sudden cessation could result in mastitis, engorgement, and other complications for you.
But does seeing a breastfeeding counselor actually make any difference? In a study in 2019, participants in a breastfeeding support program were “on average 66% less risk of cessation of any breastfeeding and on average 54% less risk of cessation of exclusive breastfeeding at any point in time.” A significant decrease in women still breastfeeding after ten days postpartum was noticed if they did not receive support is shown in a study from 2015.
The facts are that getting breastfeeding support doesn’t mean you’ve failed or you’re not doing it right—it just means that you want to do it well or better. You shouldn’t be judged for asking a question (believe me I’ve been on the receiving end of judgmental breastfeeding support and that was one of the main reasons my oldest was formula fed!) Seeing someone trained in breastfeeding means you will get support and understanding, from a person who can acknowledge how important, frustrating and wonderful this journey is.
I'm certified as a doula, breastfeeding counselor and Lamaze childbirth educator. I'm British, living in Bahrain in the Middle East for the last 14 years. I have three daughters and I just want to show them that it doesn't matter your age, dreams can be followed.
My son was born on July 31, 2015, along with his twin sister Aria. They were perfect and they were mine! It was one of the happiest days of my life. I waited so long to become a mother. We had had many losses until this pregnancy and I had never felt such joy and happiness. The feeling was incredible. I never realized I could love a person this much until this day. I couldn’t help but think of our future and how bright it would be with these two amazing little humans joining us. We were going to make so many happy memories and have lots of fun. I was ready for our new life to start. We had so many new adventures waiting for us. It was the four of us, we were finally a family.
I started to imagine all of the fun things we would do as a family. I saw us playing together at the park. I was chasing the twins as we played tag, they would chase me too and I could see their beautiful bright smiles. I could see me and my husband pushing them on the swings. I could hear the laughter fill the air, it brought a smile to my face and my eyes filled with tears.
I envisioned us at Sea World cheering during the shows as we ate popcorn and watched the dolphins gracefully emerge from the water and do flips in the air. There was one thing that made me the most excited. That was seeing us board an airplane to visit my parents, the kid’s grandparents, in Wisconsin. They would get to see where I grew up, which is much different than California. I could see them having so much fun playing in the country with the fresh clean Midwest air flowing through their tiny little bodies. The kids would be able to run wild and free through cornfields as I did when I was a child. I couldn’t wait to see their faces light up just like the lightning bugs we would chase on a warm humid summer evening. I had so much to show them about the world I grew up in and I couldn’t wait.
As the twins got closer to turning one, I couldn’t help but notice the difference in their development. My son was much further behind than his twin sister. I started to worry and question everything. Everyone told me he’s a boy, don’t worry. I brought up my concerns to the kid’s pediatrician. She confirmed what everyone else had told me, he’s a boy, they take longer than girls for mostly everything, so don’t worry. I still worried because my motherly instinct knew that something was wrong with my sweet Dom. I knew I had to help him and fast.
I started researching on the internet and became obsessed. I spent many days and nights searching for answers. I got on Facebook groups and asked other moms lots of questions. One Facebook group I found was called Finding Cooper’s Voice. Another Midwest mama, I was intrigued by all of Kate’s posts. I knew then that my son had autism. Now it was time to get the ball rolling. I made appointments to get an assessment done to see if my gut was telling me the truth. I was right, Dom had autism.
I was confused, hurt, and mad. I didn’t know how this happened. Was it my fault, did I not take good enough care of myself when I was pregnant. What did I do wrong? Why did this happen to us? Why did this happen to my son? I couldn’t make sense of it all. I don’t think I will ever understand, but I did know that I had to get it together and help my son.
We started rigorous therapy programs to get Dom all the help he needed. Our lives changed in an instant and it was a drastic change. We had to accept the new normal, our new normal. We did everything we could to help our little guy. I prayed every day for God to help us.
I have learned a lot throughout the years. I’ve learned that some friends will disappear, that family will be your best support system, and that you will have good days, and you will have very difficult days—many more than you want. The most important thing I learned is that the love I have for my son is stronger than anything. I will go to battle for him and stand up for his rights. I will never quit on him and I will always be his biggest advocate. Our family has grown so much and we will always be Dom’s biggest supporters!
Wendy Robles lives in California with her husband and twins. She's an ICU Registered Nurse, she advocates for her patients and her son who is on the autism spectrum. Through her blog she tells her experiences of raising a child on the spectrum, the good and the ugly.
