Ask any parent what it’s like to raise a kid today, and we’d likely tell you modern childhood seems much more complex—and perilous—than when we were young. Thanks to increased peer pressure, massive technological advances, and on-demand access to virtually anything via click or tap, kids today face a wider array of choices and decision-making opportunities than we did when we were their age.
As parents, we hope we’ve instilled strong values and resilience in our children so they’re always able to make good decisions. But how can we be sure they’ll do the right thing, especially when we’re not around? While there’s no magic formula, here are 10 tips to help your kid make smart decisions—even when you’re not there.
1. Start conversations about smart decision-making early.
The earlier parents initiate conversations about how to make good decisions with their kids, the better. Explaining to your child what it means to make a good decision and why it’s important can set them up for future success. Kevin Zoromski, a psychologist and early childhood development expert says, “Give children choices as part of their day and as part of their typical routine. They will look forward to having some say over what they get to do in the household and you will establish their sense of responsibility as important decision-makers.”
2. Role-model smart decision-making behaviors.
Kids learn through observation and patterning the behaviors of people in their lives, especially their parents. Modeling good decision-making behavior will help reinforce your life lessons. Show your kid that you are honest, responsible, and accountable for your choices. “You are your child’s first and most important role model,” said mental health expert Ketsupa Jirakarn. “[Kids] are always observing and learning from you every day—even when you are unaware of it. So, make sure you practice what you preach.”
3. Set clear expectations and boundaries.
Let your kids know what you expect from them in terms of making smart decisions. For older kids, this could include things like always telling you where they are going, not using illicit substances like drugs and alcohol, and staying away from dangerous situations. “Children are more likely to accept the limits you set and are more likely to want to meet your expectations (i.e., be responsible) when you provide a warm, caring, and supportive relationship that underlies the discipline you impose,” according to a report from The Center for Parenting Education.
4. Practice makes perfect.
Give your child opportunities to practice smart decision-making. This could involve giving them small choices, such as what to wear to school or what to eat for dinner. It also could involve giving them bigger choices, such as whether to join a sports team or what to do with their allowance. By empowering your child to learn about the consequences of their choices through smaller actions, they will feel more empowered when making bigger decisions on their own.
When your kid makes a mistake, don’t immediately swoop in to fix the problem or resort immediately to punishment. Help them understand why a misstep was a consequence of not making the best decision, and then talk about how they can make a better choice next time. According to a report from the Harvard Graduate School of Education, “Reframing mistakes as opportunities from which we can learn—rather than failures alone—can help us feel like we are capable and in control. Reframing can also help us handle future mistakes more effectively.”
6. Develop their critical thinking skills.
Learning how to think critically and independently requires self-awareness (i.e., knowing strengths, weaknesses, and values) as well as problem-solving skills. Encouraging your child to think through a decision and come up with a solution can further nurture and develop their critical thinking skills. “In childhood and adolescence, the body goes through many physical changes, but there are also many changes in how we think, feel, and behave, and in our motivations,” according to a report from Frontiers for Young Minds. It’s through repeated trial and error that kids develop the necessary skills to thrive into adulthood.
7. Help them understand risks.
Some decisions have few consequences, while other decisions are highly consequential. Teaching your child the difference between big and small choices, and understanding the risks associated with some decisions will mitigate the chances of bad outcomes. For example, teach young kids about the risks of eating too much junk food or overdoing it with screen time, and teach older kids about the risks of cyberbullying and underage drinking.
8. Nurture emotional intelligence.
Talk to your child about the choices they’re facing and help them understand the different options and the potential consequences of each choice. Teaching them how to evaluate information, identify biases, and make informed decisions as well as helping your child understand and manage their emotions and how to make decisions that are in line with their values will serve them well. “Emotional literacy starts at birth when babies can just bond with [their parents] and connect on just that level. And it continues to evolve,” said Dr. Michele Borba, parenting expert and author of Building Moral Intelligence: The Seven Essential Virtues that Teach Kids to Do the Right Thing.
9. Be supportive and consistent.
As parents, being supportive and consistent with our reactions to our children’s choices will help ensure they make smart ones, even when we’re not present. If you sometimes let your child get away with making a bad decision, they will be less likely to take you seriously when you expect them to make good choices without you. Additionally, when your kid makes a good decision, be sure to praise and validate them. “Youth who experience more positive interactions with parents are better adjusted. Indeed, consistency in parenting—primarily consistency in discipline—has been linked to more positive youth outcomes,” according to a report from the National Institutes of Health.
10. Practice patience and understanding.
It takes time for kids to learn how to make smart decisions. Don’t get discouraged if they don’t always and immediately make the right choices. Even when your kids are old enough to make decisions themselves, they still need your patience and understanding. Be there to talk to them, offer advice, and help them deal with the consequences of their decisions.
Your child says, “I’m hungry,” and you grab them a snack. They say “I’m bored,” and you find a way to entertain them. But when should the butler treatment end? When is it time to teach your child how to be self-sufficient and let them do things for themselves?
Believe it or not—now is as good a time as any! Your two-year-old can help you do the laundry; your 6-year-old can brush her teeth; and your 10-year-old can hang out alone at home while you walk the dog. And, no matter how desperately they cry, “Watch me!” young kids don’t always need you right there next to them (being just nearby is just fine).
“What you’re really trying to do is get the child to learn how to make decisions and take control over the things they can have control over,” said Dr. Michael Ungar, director of the Resilience Research Center and the author of We Generation: Raising Socially Responsible Kids. “What you really want is a child who can make a contribution to their family, who can navigate their community, who can problem solve.”
We created an age-by-age guide that ranges from letting your toddler help with household chores to giving your tween tech time to help you figure out the right time to give your kids that much-needed independence. Here’s what the experts say.
Things Kids Can Do: Ages 0 to 2
Don’t worry: You won’t need to start nudging your one-year-old out of the nest. According to Los Angeles child psychiatrist Patrick Kelly, it’s the opposite: the stronger the attachment between parents and their babies, the more comfortable those kids will be doing things independently as they grow. That said, there are a few “big kid” things your tiny tot can start learning at this age:
Feeding and Dressing Themselves – According to Los Angeles pediatrician Amin Davari, simple things like allowing older infants to feed themselves age-appropriate foods and letting young children dress themselves give kids “minor struggles and successes” that help them learn how to be self-sufficient and build skills and confidence.
Swim Lessons – The AAP recently changed its guidelines to say that kids should start swimming lessons at age one. Although swim lessons will never make a child “drown proof,” lessons between the ages of one to four years have been shown to reduce drowning risk, according to the AAP.
Sign Language – Just because your baby can’t talk doesn’t mean she’s not trying to tell you something. Advocates say teaching babies and toddlers basic signs (things like “eat,” “more” and “milk”) can increase confidence in both the kids and their caregivers, helping little ones who can’t yet speak get their needs met. Taking a class can mean a fun social outing for Mom or Dad—though you can also learn from home.
Things Kids Can Do: Ages 2 to 4
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At this age, kids are ready—and willing!—to take on some responsibility around the house. You’ll know the time is right when you see them start pretending to do grown-up things, like playing “family” or play-driving the car when they’re in the push car. Take advantage of this need now by giving them:
Simple Household Chores – Give them a broom or a dustpan, and let them help you sweep the kitchen floor. You’d be surprised how willingly kids this age will want to help you clean. If you’re lucky, the habit will continue into their later years. Other simple household chores suitable for two-to three-year-olds, according to The Montessori Notebook are:
Help pack their backpack
Brushing/feeding the dog (just let it go when they make a mess!)
Helping make the bed (at four, kids should be able to at least pull up a duvet by themselves)
Placing clothing in the laundry and pushing the buttons you point to
Solo Playtime – As long as you’ve created a safe space to play, at this age most kids are generally past the swallowing-small-objects phase and can happily play by themselves for 30 to 45 minutes at a time. If your child is reluctant to play alone, just agree to be nearby, but set up toys with which they can play solo.
“Reading” Time – Your child doesn’t need to know how to read to get lost in a world of books. Give kids a stack of picture books and let them have at it. If they want to hear stories read out loud—but you still want them to be on their own—we love the Yoto player, a simple speaker designed for kids ages three and up that allows kids to insert small cards to read popular stories aloud.
Pick What they Wear – Something as simple as choosing their clothes can make a child feel incredibly independent, says Dr. Ungar. “Three-year-olds can’t negotiate their bedtimes, but they can decide to wear green pajamas or blue pajamas. The trick seems to be to find these ways that the child can make a genuine contribution.”
Use a Balance Bike – Kids may not be ready for a two-wheeler at age two… but a balance bike is an easy go-to! “Once a child can confidently walk around the house, they can start walking with a balance bike between their legs,” says Schwinn spokesperson Ryan Berkicht. “This could be as soon as 18 months old for some kids.”
Things Kids Can Do: Ages 4 to 6
Gross motor skills are advancing quickly at this age, too, so your kids should be ready for fun things like climbing on a play structure (without you constantly spotting), and using the “big kid swing” all by themselves. And while these may seem like ordinary childhood milestones, all of these accomplishments help them learn how to be self-sufficient and instill huge amounts of confidence. So cheer your kids on as they:
Brush Their Teeth: While most dentists advise that you keep assisting with their pearly whites until age 7, your kids should know how to brush their teeth all on their teeth by age 5 or 6—with you nearby to make sure there’s actual brushing going on (as opposed to just holding the electric toothbrush in their mouths while the motor revs). A good compromise is to let your kids do the morning brush and you can brush their teeth in the evening.
Use a Microwave with Supervision – Not only does using the microwave buttons help reinforce number recognition, but it also makes kids feel like real big kids. Teach your kids what can and can’t go in the microwave, and let them push the buttons and press “start” all on their own.
Ride a Two-Wheeler – Sure, some kids are ready for a two-wheeler at three years old—and some five-year-olds want nothing to do with a bike—but experts say age 5 or 6 is a good target age for getting a kid on her first two-wheeler. If they’ve been riding a balance bike or a bike with training wheels, they should be able to transition easily.
Have Drop-Off Play Dates – According to the AAP, kids around ages 5 and 6 are developmentally ready to be dropped off for play dates. Got a child who’s nervous about it? It might help to have the playdates at your house, where you can step away—but not out.
Day Camp – Since this is the age when kids start preschool or kindergarten, they’re also usually ready for day camp at this age, too. If your kids don’t seem uber-enthusiastic about camp, try to keep the camp schedule similar to their school schedule (if your child attends a half-day school, for instance, start with a half-day camp).
Things Kids Can Do: Ages 6 to 8
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By this age, kids have started kindergarten and are usually happy to do anything that makes them feel grown-up and competent. So watch them closely for opportunities to teach them how to be self-sufficient—while also keeping them safe (for instance, let them ride a bike up and down your street, but make them wear a helmet). Here are some things kids are ready to do by this age:
Use a peeler to peel raw potatoes, ginger, mangoes, and other washed fruits and vegetables
Break eggs into a bowl (and remember to wash hands afterward)
Scoop out avocados after being sliced in half by an adult
Snap green beans
Shuck corn and rinse before cooking
Rinse and cut parsley or green onions with clean, blunt kitchen scissors
Take a Bath By Themselves – According to this article in the National Library of Medicine, most children can take a bath by themselves (i.e., without you sitting by the tub) by age 6. We recommend parents still stay within earshot and keep baths short enough that kids don’t get tired or rowdy in the bathtub by themselves.
Tie Their Shoes (with you supervising) – By age 6 or 7, most kids have the fine motor skills to attempt this surprisingly complex set of movements, according to Carolina Therapy Connection. You’ll know your child is ready to tie their shoes when they’re able to easily cut paper with scissors, string beads, or button and unbutton buttons.
Use a Computer to Browse the Internet – Experts recommend supervising children’s internet use at this age: If you’re not able to be there watching, you can use a filtering device like the Circle, which lets you dictate what apps and websites kids can and can’t visit online (as well as setting up bedtimes and screen time limits); or try a web filtering program like Microsoft Edge Kids Mode, which keeps your kids from seeing anything inappropriate online and lets you customize their web experience (it also prevents them from exiting the kid-safe browser to explore other apps on the computer).
Things Kids Can Do: Ages 8 to 10
Older kids are ready for adventure! Now’s the time to loosen the reins and let them chart their course a little bit. By this age, your child might be ready to:
Have a Sleepover – Around this age, they may be ready—as long as they can sleep through the night, no problem. That said, before you send your kids to another person’s home for the night, they must understand body boundaries and inappropriate touching. “I do think it’s a great time to start teaching kids about appropriate touches and that we’re the boss of our bodies and we’re the boss of our private parts,” writes child abuse prevention expert Pattie Fitzgerald. She also urged parents to talk to the host parents so they’ll know exactly who will be supervising and whether there will be older kids (such as teenage-aged siblings) or extended family in the home. The answer to these questions may well alter your decision to say “yes,” as parents should have a strong baseline of trust with the hosts.
Note: Some experts believe children (and their parents!) aren’t ready for sleepovers until the age of 10 and up.
Go to Overnight Camp – As long as your child can shower, doesn’t wet the bed, and has shown no problems spending the night at friends’ or relatives’ homes, they’re probably ready for sleepaway camp. While many overnight camps offer programs for kids as young as six or seven, the American Camp Association gives age nine as the target age for kids to start the summer camp journey. Some camps offer one-week “starter” programs for reluctant or nervous campers.
Walk to School by Themselves(Under Certain Conditions) – The AAP says elementary school-aged kids can walk to school by themselves, provided the walk is short, the neighborhood is safe, and there are school crossing guards stationed at any intersections. If there are non-guarded streets or you live in a city, waiting until age 12 is better.
Things Kids Can Do: Ages 10 and Up
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Tweens are all about breaking free and taking risks. Your job is to let them experiment with autonomy while still making sure they’ve got set limits to keep them safe. By age 10, kids can:
Be Left At Home for a Short Time – The laws vary on this, with some states like Oregon and Tennessee giving home-alone privileges to 10-year-olds and states like Colorado and Delaware saying 12 is a better age to start this. This Washington Post article gives state-by-state guidelines on the regulations, but it’s a good idea to check with your state’s Family or Child Services Department to be sure.
In any case, before you leave your kids home alone—even for a short time—it’s important that they know what to do in case of emergency and what your expectations are should unexpected things happen (like someone knocking on the door or a friend stopping by unannounced). The Department of Health and Human Services recommends that parents ask themselves these questions before leaving kids alone:
Is your child physically and mentally able to care for him or herself?
Does your child obey rules and make good decisions?
How does your child respond to unfamiliar or stressful situations?
Does your child feel comfortable or fearful about being home alone?
If you’re leaving for more than an hour, it’s best to wait to take your children. And experts say it’s not a good idea to let kids this age babysit younger children while no parents are home.
For more advice and tips, see this handout from the DHH.
Ride a Bike to School – It’s hard to find any specific laws about kids riding bikes to school, but the American Academy of Pediatrics says that by late elementary school, most kids can safely do this, provided the route is short and the roads safe. Before your child starts riding to school, make sure you practice the route with them (several times!) and go over what to do if unexpected things arise, such as a fall or a flat tire. If it makes you feel better, have your child wear a GPS watch or other tracking device to alert you when she gets to school safely.
Of course, you should always make sure your kids wear a good-fitting helmet and try to enlist a friend to ride along, to ensure both kids get there safely.
This is it. The bridge to the young adult years. Kids in this final stretch to the teens are longing to break free, so the trick is to let them feel independent and learn how to be self-sufficient while encouraging them to make responsible choices. Here are some things they’re ready to do now:
Have Their Own Cell Phone – While many argue that cell phones should wait until high school, middle schoolers can have a phone, provided it is monitored and filtered by the parents. Before you give your child a phone, have them sign a technology agreement that lays out the rules—for instance, no cell phones should be allowed in your child’s room overnight, and your child should know that you will read and monitor her messages. To keep your kids off inappropriate or dangerous apps and sites, use apps and programs like Screentime (for iPhones), Circle, or Securly.
Babysit Younger Children – There are no real legal restrictions for babysitting (except in states that have laws on when kids can be left alone), but the Red Cross doesn’t allow kids to take its babysitting course until age 11. By 12, kids should be able to babysit with a grown-up present in the house (or for short times when a grown-up leaves the house); by 14, they can usually babysit younger children on their own. When it comes to an older sibling watching the younger kids in the house, parents need to ask themselves whether their oldest is mature enough and responsible enough to handle the task. If there are any doubts, skip it.
Be Dropped Off in a Public Place with Friends – As long as your child agrees to stay with the group and you’ve talked about uncomfortable situations (if a stranger talks to them or if other kids are experimenting with drugs or alcohol), most experts agree that by middle school—or around age 13—kids can be dropped off at public place (like a movie theater or mall) for a few hours as long as they are in a group and you are leaving them in a safe location. This depends, of course, on your child’s level of maturity, your city’s crime rate, and whether you trust them to make good decisions.
Note: Check with your state laws before letting your teen go to certain places solo: Some states, such as Minnesota and Delaware, do not permit children under 16 to be in certain malls without adult supervision, according to this article.
Ever wonder how your sign and your child’s zodiac sign stack up? Similar to those classic partner astrology compatibility charts, this one takes a look at how you and your progeny likely get on. This particular version is based on sun signs—how you see yourself, the person you are becoming, and your general personality. Of course, nurture has plenty to do with your bond, but the stars have their own way of aligning things. (P.S. If you’re curious how the next year is going to play out for you and your little one, dig a bit deeper into the toddler zodiac).
Note: Chart is read as Child X Parent
The Aries Child
Aries X Aries: Lots of feisty energy in this combo! You can embrace your inner child together, but it is very important to work through aggression and impulsiveness. Be the model for your little one.
Aries X Taurus: Your job is to keep your impulsive Aries kiddo on track. Aries have lots of passionate beginnings, but often burn out their energy before seeing things through. You are the perfect guide to teach them how to do so.
Aries X Gemini: It will always be important for you two to keep an open line of communication. You guys are a fun pair who love to socialize. You will always have lots of friends and events to go to, keeping you busy.
Aries X Cancer: You are here to nurture your Aries kid's inner child (we know how that sounds). Let them play and enjoy life. Don’t forget to get in on the action—they’ll love to have you in the pretend play mix.
Aries X Leo: Such a lively parent and child pair! You guys are the life of the party wherever you go. Your challenge will be managing both of your fiery personalities and learning to keep your cool.
Aries X Virgo: You have a little firecracker on your hands, Virgo! You can keep calm and cool in most situations, and it’s your job to help your impulsive Aries child learn to do the same.
Aries X Libra: Your Aries child will be your BFF. While they love to do things independently, your gentle guidance and peace-keeping ability will come in handy when they get hot-tempered.
Aries X Scorpio: Your Aries child is here to remind you of your inner child—you are still a kid at heart, after all! Enjoy these times with them as they won’t stay this little forever.
Aries X Sagittarius: The “dynamic duo” of the parent and child world. Sagittarius loves to learn and teach, and Aries is the eternal child, always seeking some loving guidance. No better person to share your wisdom with!
Aries X Capricorn: Your Aries kid may struggle to complete or stay focused on tasks. Good thing you are skilled at helping them see the bigger picture and encouraging them to not give up to get there.
Aries X Aquarius: Talk about two people who love their freedom! You both need room to explore and be yourselves. You will always have each other to do this with.
Aries X Pisces: This little firecracker kiddie will spark something in you, Pisces! Teach them to get in touch with their creative side and express themselves.
The Taurus Child
Taurus X Taurus: You will fully understand each other but just cannot be rushed. You two can experience life together through your senses: good food, sensory play, nature time and lots of creating art.
Taurus X Gemini: As quick as you are, Gemini, you cannot rush your Taurus little. You have to respect not only their time, but that they truly only want to do things once and do them right. While you like lots of options, they do not. You must learn to work with that.
Taurus X Cancer: A very loving and affectionate duo you two are. You know just how to comfort your Taurus little, something they seek a lot. You are truly their caretaker, and they love every minute of it.
Taurus X Leo: Your Taurus kid will always be teaching you how to take your time and be more grounded. You both enjoy the finer things in life—this will be your foodie BFF for life.
Taurus X Virgo: You are both practical, hard-working and down-to-earth. And you both prefer life to be easygoing and chill. Together you can take adventures to push you out of your comfort zones.
Taurus X Libra: Both of your ruling planets are Venus. You will find your Taurus kid loving all the pretty and shiny things, just like you. Together you will see the world through rose-colored glasses.
Taurus X Scorpio: While the Scorpio parent can be a bit intense, your Taurus little will teach you how to ground your emotions! But be careful, you can both be on the stubborn side. Don’t let it get the best of you.
Taurus X Sagittarius: Your Taurus kid is here to teach you some patience. You will learn they will do everything on their own time and you cannot rush them.
Taurus X Capricorn: You are here to teach your Taurus tot a bit about flexibility as they can be a bit reluctant to move! No better person than you, a sign who can move mountains.
Taurus X Aquarius: Your Taurus kid tends to stay in their comfort zone, but you, the Aquarius parent, like to push limits. Teaching them to try new things (safely) will always be your job.
Taurus X Pisces: Your Taurus kid is very practical, while you are a bit more dreamy. They are meant to show you grounding and stability, things that you probably crave.
Taurus X Aries: Opposites attract: As an Aries parent, you are really good at getting things started, and your Taurus kid has the endurance to help you see things through. Don’t rush your little one, though. We know how fast you can be, Aries.
The Gemini Child
Gemini X Gemini: THE ACTUAL TWINS! You two will be the social host and hostesses with the mostesses. It is important to work through indecisiveness together as well as nurture their sharp wit.
Gemini X Cancer: Your Gemini babe needs to be out and about socializing to thrive, while you are more of a homebody. Always remember to give them choices and let them have lots of fun. It’s okay if they don't want to be at home much—you need to get out, too.
Gemini X Leo: There might be a little bit of drama associated with this duo. Leo is so outstanding, and the Gemini kiddo loves to initiate the fun. You two will never have a dull moment.
Gemini X Virgo: Both signs are ruled by Mercury, meaning you will be one very busy pair! Nobody will ever question your abilities to get stuff done. You live by lists and schedules and always support each other in completing your to-dos.
Gemini X Libra: Talk about a fashionable parent and child pair. You two are always on point in the fashion department and tend to set the trends.
Gemini X Scorpio: Your Gemini kid is going to show you how to be a bit lighter, Scorpio. They have a fun, lighthearted air that will do you some good.
Gemini X Sagittarius: Together you two are meant to explore the world and learn through experience. Your Gemini kid will be your favorite person to go on trips with, meet new people and even try new foods with. You’ll cherish the memories.
Gemini X Capricorn: Your Gemini child will teach you how to communicate in so many ways! Their openness and intelligence will inspire you, and their wit will keep you on your toes.
Gemini X Aquarius: This parent/child combo are the networking masters. They can befriend anyone. Put them on a playground, and they’ll come back with a whole new group of BFFs.
Gemini X Pisces: You two have very different modes of communication. Your Gemini’s quick intelligence and gift of gab will seriously impress you and inspire you to find your inner voice.
Gemini X Aries: The social butterflies! You two will make lots of friends and wow any crowd. Communication will be the foundation of your relationship.
Gemini X Taurus: It will be your job to ground your flighty little Gemini and help them make decisions, as they often struggle with indecisiveness. Always offer them a set of options: Making that choice helps them feel more secure.
The Cancer Child
Cancer X Cancer: The emotions run high with this pair. You are both sensitive and intuitive. It is your task to teach your little—and yourself—not to be scared to face things head on rather than side-stepping through life like the Cancer crab.
Cancer X Leo: The Leo parent is tasked with nurturing their little Moonchild is a very big way. Your child will appreciate you showering them with both attention and affection.
Cancer X Virgo: The Virgo parent will always be the one who helps, and the Cancer kid loves the extra attention and guidance. While the Virgo parent will teach them how to analyze everything, the Cancer child will teach them to feel the feels.
Cancer X Libra: One of the sweetest and most loving duos. Libras nurture in their own very special way, and the Cancer kid eats that up. Libra is probably the best to guide them through all their emotions.
Cancer X Scorpio: You two ride emotional waves as water signs. You are both empathic and sensitive and can pick up on each other's moods nonverbally. You have a very special, almost psychic connection.
Cancer X Sagittarius: The Sag parent will have to teach the Cancer child that it’s safe to leave home and explore. The Cancer child will show the Sag parent that being home is necessary, too, and can even be fun.
Cancer X Capricorn: The Capricorn parent is tasked with balancing both their career and home life, as Cap is associated with work life. No better kiddo than the family-oriented Cancer kid to show you how to be the CEO Soccer Mom/Dad.
Cancer X Aquarius: Your Cancer kid is sweet, kind and emotional, and it will melt your heart, Aquarius. You will be singing the tune: “I never knew there was a love like this before”.
Cancer X Pisces: You are both on the more sensitive side and enjoy the comfort of your home. Create a home that is like your castle, so you will both always feel safe and secure.
Cancer X Aries: You have a sensitive and emotional little one on your hands. Family is of the utmost importance to them. With your noble spirit, you provide them that comfort and safety they so crave.
Cancer X Taurus: You two thrive at home. Lots of family time, honoring your inner nurturers and snuggling up together. There isn’t a sweeter pair.
Cancer X Gemini: While you might like to be the social butterfly, your Cancer little is a bit more of a homebody. You two can balance each other out and find harmony in this. Make sure you get your Moonchild out of the house and they will make sure you enjoy restorative time at home.
Leo X Leo: Another feisty and fiery pair! Together you two know how to bring the sass and the fun—you’re always a good time to be around.
Leo X Virgo: You two will always motivate and encourage each other to be your very best. You are each other's biggest fans.
Leo X Libra: You two are a pair that catches the eye no matter where you go. The Leo child will always shine bright, and the Libra parent is always so put-together. We see you.
Leo X Scorpio: This is a pair that knows how to bring the intensity! Scorpio is quite fiery for a water sign, so the emotions and dramatics can run a bit high. Be wary of mood swings and work on staying level-headed together.
Leo X Sagittarius: Your Leo will be your loving little lion cub, Sag. They will always respect and admire your wisdom and want to learn from you. They are the best little protege.
Leo X Capricorn: While the Capricorn parent may seem on the conservative or classic side, the Leo kid is going to break that chain with their sass and golden auras. They are something else, and you will love it.
Leo X Aquarius: You both exude bravery and confidence. You will be okay with your Leo little testing limits because you were once that person, too. You’ve got this, Aquarius.
Leo X Pisces: Having a child that isn't scared of the limelight is kind of inditimating to you, Pisces. You can learn a thing or two from their fearlessness. Let them show you how to be brave.
Leo X Aries: Talk about a passionate pair! Your Leo child will love the spotlight, especially with your encouraging nature. Just watch the dramatics—two fire signs can be quite extra.
Leo X Taurus: Oh Taurus, your little Leo is going to give you a run for your money. You just gotta love ‘em, though—they will always be bold, brave and outstanding. Always try to nurture their inner performer and they will thrive.
Leo X Gemini: Your little Leo wants alllll of your attention. It is important you take the time to stop the millions of things you do and give them some undivided time. They thrive when they know they have their parents all to themselves.
Leo X Cancer: Your Leo child is going to get you out of your shell. You can learn a thing or two from them by watching them own the spotlight.
The Virgo Child
Virgo X Virgo: You two appear to be quiet and reserved, but you're both just taking in your environment and other people. You are here to remind one another that perfection does not exist and to take it easy once in a while.
Virgo X Libra: Both the Libra parent and the Virgo kid thrive when their spaces are clean, uncluttered and harmonious. It suits you both to be on the minimal and organized side as chaos is neither of your jams.
Virgo X Scorpio: You both really love learning and have a laser focus. (I see lots of time spent watching documentaries and going to museums in your future.) Your Virgo’s ability to break down information to better understand it will truly impress you.
Virgo X Sagittarius: While your Virgo kid is excellent at mastering the details and breaking down everything to understand it, you can show them the bigger picture so they aren't so fussy. Teach them to be more easygoing, as they can be a little uptight.
Virgo X Capricorn: A more serious pair, you two are here to learn how to have some fun together! Life needs to have some play mixed in with all the work, after all. Learn to let go.
Virgo X Aquarius: Your Virgo kid's mind works quite differently than yours, Aquarius. Observe them, guide them and ask yourself what you can learn from them.
Virgo X Pisces: The Pisces brain is imaginative, while the Virgo brain is analytical. You are the best person to teach them to see beyond the facts, as well as not to beat themselves up over perfection.
Virgo X Aries: You two have a knack for getting stuff done. You really know how to take initiative and your little Virgo loves to take things apart, analyze and perfect. The last thing anyone would call you two is lazy.
Virgo X Taurus: You are a pair of two very grounded, down-to-earth Earth signs. Teach your little Virgo not to be so hard on themselves and remember not to set unattainable standards or goals for them—they really beat themselves up.
Virgo X Gemini: Two Mercurial planets aligned. While the Gemini parent is one busy bee, having a solid schedule is what will help your Virgo little thrive. Setting routines and sticking to them (yes, Gemini) will be best for you both.
Virgo X Cancer: While you are very into your feelings, your Virgo kid is more analytical. You feel; they think. You can each teach each other something about one another.
Virgo X Leo: You two are both ambitious go-getters. While the Leo parent is here to teach the Virgo child not to be so hard on themselves, the Virgo kid will actually teach the Leo parent all about minimalism and structure.
The Libra Child
Libra X Libra: The Libra parent and Libra child are another pair of besties. Libra thrives in partnerships, and there is no bond stronger than that of parent and child.
Libra X Scorpio: The Scorpio parent can be a little impatient, but your Libra child’s even and peaceful temperament will help you learn to be more mindful. They will show you how to handle things with grace.
Libra X Sagittarius: Your Libra tot loves to do everything with you. While a Sagittarius prides themself on their independence, having your Libra along for the ride brightens your world.
Libra X Capricorn: Your Libra kid is literally going to show you the beauty of life. Because of them, you will find yourself noticing every flower, sparkle, seashell and color that you were probably letting pass by before. Soak it in.
Libra X Aquarius: A pair that enjoys intelligent conversation and are equally as charming. That little Libra will win your heart and be the best baby date you’ll ever have!
Libra X Pisces: This pair is another undercover super combo! You are two of the kindest and most loving of the signs—you will just get along famously.
Libra X Aries: This combo of sister signs is like yin and yang. Where you will always be teaching your Libra independence, they will teach you the importance of relying on others, too. You two will always balance each other out.
Libra X Taurus: Two Venus-ruled signs with a love of beautiful things. Whether it’s fashion, art, interior design or jewelry. . . together you two will make this world a more aesthetically pleasing place.
Libra X Gemini: Your Libra little is your BFF, your road dog, the child who will care for you when you are sick and not put you in a home when you are old. You’ve got each other for life.
Libra X Cancer: Such an ideal pair! Libra kids love nothing more than being with their parents, and there is nothing more that a Cancer parent loves than being a parent.
Libra X Leo: Both of these signs have a certain love for love. Your Libra offspring will be very attached to you the more you shower them with love. And let’s face it, you both love the attention.
Libra X Virgo: Virgo, you are being tasked with encouraging your Libra little to be a bit more independent. Show them by example—let them know they can do hard things alone.
The Scorpio Child
Scorpio X Scorpio: Whenever we see the same sign, we know you are meant to be each other’s mirror: the good, the bad, the ups, the downs and all that comes with it. You will always be this to each other.
Scorpio X Sagittarius: You both share a deep love of learning. You are tasked with showing them how to lighten up and let go a little. These little ones are intense, but your optimism is contagious.
Scorpio X Capricorn: The Capricorn parent can be very calm, which is something your intense Scorpio child will need from you. Show them how to manage their emotions, leading by example with your cool, collected ways.
Scorpio X Aquarius: Aquarius and Scorpio are two who will fight to the death for a good cause. There is no better parent than Aquarius to teach a Scorpio kid humanitarianism at such a young age.
Scorpio X Pisces: The funny thing about this combo is you both need a lot of rest! You pick up on each other’s emotions very easily, so it is important to conserve (and restore) your energy.
Scorpio X Aries: Now this is a case of true opposites, but both sprinkled with sass. While Aries is bold and outgoing; Scorpio is much more secretive and introverted. Learning to respect each other’s way of being will be to your highest good.
Scorpio X Taurus: Where you are grounded and stable, your Scorpio little is a bit of a mystery to you. Teaching them trust is the biggest thing you can do for them. Embrace their love for learning and they will teach you in return.
Scorpio X Gemini: The intensity of a Scorpio little might be a bit much for you as such an easygoing Gem, but you guys are meant to be each other’s mirror. You will show them how to be lighthearted, and they will teach you to have some depth.
Scorpio X Cancer: While you are both quite empathic and emotional, you must nurture their deep little souls and show them what love truly is. You earn love with these littles.
Scorpio X Leo: You two will be each other’s greatest lessons. The Leo parent will help the Scorpio child to be more extroverted, and the Scorpio little can teach the Leo parent a few things about privacy and spending time alone.
Scorpio X Virgo: Nothing gets by either one of you! A kid will NOT put up with white lies or bribes, a Virgo parent can analyze anything you say to them. We wouldn’t mess with this team.
Scorpio X Libra: Fairness will always be very important to you both. Keep that in mind when parenting your Scorpio kid, who might have a tendency to be a bit extreme.
The Sagittarius Child
Sagittarius X Sagittarius: You and your little Sag will want to have the spotlight so get ready to share. Teach them the wisdom of your years and get re-invigorated with their zest for life.
Sagittarius X Capricorn: You have a fun-loving and joyful little kiddo on your hands, though they can sometimes be a wild one. Where they are spirited, you are peaceful. Where they are extra, you are grounded. No better parent to teach them boundaries in these situations.
Sagittarius X Aquarius: You two are so similar yet so different. Your Sagittarius little will teach you how to enjoy life a bit more and not take everything so seriously.
Sagittarius X Pisces: The ideas are just endless with the Pisces parent and Sag child. Your Sag kid's ability to focus on the big picture will inspire your imagination. No limit to what you can create together.
Sagittarius X Aries: While both are fire signs, Sagittarius has that free spirit streak that might make a controlling Aries a little crazy. Encourage them to be who they are and let them be free.
Sagittarius X Taurus: Your little Sag is probably always on the go. They want to explore and, in the future, travel. While you are more of a homebody, it is important they always get to spread their wings with a loving home to return to.
Sagittarius X Gemini: Another profound set of sister signs. Together you will explore the world, learn about different cultures, be fearless in trying new things and grow through experience. You have a beautiful journey ahead.
Sagittarius X Cancer: While your Sag kid is the happiest baby on the block, they might not be as affectionate as you are. Doesn’t mean they don’t love you. They just need to be free to express their love in their own way.
Sagittarius X Leo: Meet your match, Leo! Your Sag kid will out-spunk you, outwit you and out-drama you. But you’ll have the best time together, as they are a tough kid to stay mad at.
Sagittarius X Virgo: Your Sagittarius little one will teach you to see the bigger picture, while it will always be your job to teach them to slow down and not overlook the details.
Sagittarius X Libra: You two are both such good-natured souls. Libra, you like to operate in a pair or partnership, while your Sag kiddo is quite independent. You have to give them that space they need to grow.
Sagittarius X Scorpio: You are the pair who is ready for an adventure. Your Sagittarius tot will happily lead you places you always wanted to go, but now you get to share these magical experiences through their joyous hearts.
Capricorn X Capricorn: A sure set of old souls who found each other. You will always be your Capricorn child's teacher, and they, the consummate overachievers—yep, even as little ones. They will continue to make you proud as they grow.
Capricorn X Aquarius: This duo will be each other’s greatest lesson. Your Capricorn child will teach you hard work and discipline and you will teach them how to let go and have fun.
Capricorn X Pisces: It might surprise you to have a child who seems like a little adult. Encourage them to play and be a kid through creative activities.
Capricorn X Aries: Strong-willed is the theme for you both. You’re hard workers and goal-oriented individuals—together you can take over the world.
Capricorn X Taurus: You are both extremely hard-working, so it’s important you remember to play and enjoy life. You share similar qualities of patience, calmness and loyalty. This babe will be your best friend for life.
Capricorn X Gemini: You are here to help your little old soul Cappy be less serious and somber and to have some fun. In return, they will teach you how to focus on your goals, see the bigger picture and be a bit less flaky.
Capricorn X Cancer: You are here to love on these little old souls. While they teach you the importance of hard work, you teach them how to love and nurture.
Capricorn X Leo: The Leo parent loves their role as the leader of the pack, and their Capricorn child is the perfect little cub. They appreciate a parent that will always protect and guide them.
Capricorn X Virgo: This is a pair that has success written all over them. Your Capricorn little is always the first to reach their milestones, and you couldn’t be prouder.
Capricorn X Libra: These two signs may seem quite different, but you’re both Cardinal signs, which means you are the pioneers. You’re the first to get things started and spark ideas. You are both natural-born leaders, and others will always turn to you.
Capricorn X Scorpio: The two old souls of the Zodiac! It must feel like you’ve known each other for lifetimes, and you probably do. You two are one of the most unlikely peas in a pod, but that you are.
Capricorn X Sagittarius: You two are another ambitious and motivated duo. No one can stop you guys from achieving your dreams. You both think big, but your Capricorn kid will help you keep things a little more realistic.
The Aquarius Child
Aquarius X Aquarius: A double Aquarius, you are meant to be innovative leaders. Together you will show the world a better way and to be more open-minded and kindhearted.
Aquarius X Pisces: Your Aquarius kid is a love, but it probably amazes you they aren't as emotional as you are. Aquarius are known to have a good grip on this. Perhaps they are here to teach you the same.
Aquarius X Aries: The Aquarius child is truly an individual. They have a secret superpower of staying calm in the tensest of situations, and this will come in handy with the passionate and impulsive Aries parent.
Aquarius X Taurus: Your Aquarius kid loves freedom—and loves to test you. Stay cool, Taurus. They do it because they love you. Patience is a virtue, especially in this duo.
Aquarius X Gemini: “Let’s get weird” should be this pairing's motto. The weirder, the better and certainly, the more fun. Embrace the odd and silly side of life together. You’ll have way more fun than conforming to the norm.
Aquarius X Cancer: Cancer parents, you have to love having an unconventional kiddo. You want to love all over them, but they just want to do their thing. Give them space—they’ll still always need your support.
Aquarius X Leo: A pair of rebels! You both love doing your own thing and not being told what to do. You two show the world it’s okay to march to the beat of your own drum.
Aquarius X Virgo: Your Aquarius kid is here to shake up your routine. While the Virgo parent likes schedules and order, the Aquarius child learns differently. Let them do their own thing.
Aquarius X Libra: The Libra parent is tasked with teaching the freedom-seeking Aquarius child some boundaries. It may seem the Aquarius little is fearless; encourage them to be brave while being cautious.
Aquarius X Scorpio: The Scorpio parent and Aquarius kid weren’t born to fit in. They were born to break molds and shock everyone. You are both humanitarians at heart, and we can’t wait to watch you make waves.
Aquarius X Sagittarius: Meet your mini-me, Sagittarius. Your Aquarius kid will walk your walk and talk your talk! It will always be a trip to see how much they remind you of yourself.
Aquarius X Capricorn: Your Aquarius kid may be quite the rebel. Where you relish control and order, they love to have their freedom. You two will always be figuring out this balance.
The Pisces Child
Pisces X Pisces: We can only imagine the creativity coming out of this Pisces/Pisces pair. You two inspire others and are the muses of this world.
Pisces X Aries: Encourage your dreamy Pisces babe through their creative streak. Show them to have courage and always stand tall. They will always lean on you for this kind of support.
Pisces X Taurus: What a creative pair you two are. It will be your job to help your emotional Pisces babe get a handle on those feelings and express them through art, music and other creative outlets.
Pisces X Gemini: Together you two will need to discover grounding. You’re both big dreamers, but you often drift from reality. Learn to use your imaginations but also come back to the real world.
Pisces X Cancer: You are the perfect parent to nurture the emotional needs of the Pisces little one. They crave your love, caring and attention. Lots of hugs and snuggles with this duo.
Pisces X Leo: You two share common ground in needing to express yourself through your creative side. Encourage your Pisces kid to explore the arts and watch them flourish.
Pisces X Virgo: You two are here to balance each other out. A Pisces kid will teach the structured, analytical Virgo parent how to go with the flow and be more creative.
Pisces X Libra: You will always be your Pisces kid’s safe space because you provide fairness and harmony in every environment. Pisces kiddos need lots of security and reassurance, and you are the perfect parent for that.
Pisces X Scorpio: Your Pisces little one is certainly a sweetheart. They will warm your heart with their loving and tender ways. You’ll be butter to their charm.
Pisces X Sagittarius: Your Pisces child will teach you how to express your creative side. While they may seem more geared toward the arts and you toward wisdom, you still love to learn, especially from them.
Pisces X Capricorn: You two may seem like the odd couple—the business-orientated Capricorn parent and the dreamy, imaginative Pisces child. But you are each here to teach the other your ways.
Pisces X Aquarius: A Pisces child views the world through rose-colored glasses, while the Aquarius parent is a bit more of a realist. They will teach you to use your imagination more than ever before.
If you find yourself spending all day repeating “No No No” to your kids, consider planning a ‘Yes Day’
No matter what type of parent you are, we’re betting you find yourself saying the word “no” more often than you ever thought you would. Give that word, and yourself, a break by surprising the kids with a Yes Day. What is a Yes Day? It’s exactly like it sounds. One day where kids get to request whatever they want (see rules below), and you go along for the ride. Will they eat way too much candy? Probably. Will it be one of the best days of the year for you and your family? Absolutely. Oh, and the trail of candy wrappers you’ll be picking up the day after? Worth it.
So, What Exactly IS a ‘Yes Day?’
A Yes Day sounds exactly like what it is—it’s a day where your answer to your kids will always be “yes.” Ice cream for breakfast? Yes. Wearing pajamas all day? Yep. Movie marathon? You got it. Before you decide this is a miserable idea, hear us out. With a few simple ground rules and a little prep, this day will become one that everyone in the family loves.
‘Yes Day’ Background
If the idea of a Yes Day sounds familiar (looking at you, Jennifer Garner fans) the idea originated from a book of the same name by Amy Rosenthal-Krause and Tom Lichtenheld. A little boy in the story gets a day when his parents can’t say no to anything. Sounds like a kid’s dream, right? But guess what? Saying yes to your kids teaches you something, too. Parents who indulge in a Yes Day report a feeling of closeness and connectedness with their kids. And guess what that results in? Kids listen better. One mom told us that after her first Yes Day with her son, she discovered just how many times she automatically said no, to herself and her kid, when she didn’t need to.
It’s Not As Scary As You Think
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Of course, the concept of allowing your kids to run wild for a day where you can’t say no would be alarming. But not if you lay out the boundaries, first. The first thing to remind kids is that a Yes Day is one day, and the requests cannot be something that causes harm to themselves or anyone else.
Second, you also get to ask the kids to do things: but your ground rules are that you shouldn’t ask them to do additional “boring” stuff beyond their everyday chores, homework, etc. You should ask them to do random things, like “Do you want to run around the house four times with me?” Or, “Do you mind if I wear your fairy wings?”
Make sure you are clear with the kids that a Yes Day only lasts for a day, meaning any requests made cannot take place over a series of days, or in the future. Plus, you can limit the amount of travel you’re able to do in one day. (i.e.: no spur-of-the-moment trips to Disney.) This can also apply to how much money it costs. Set a budget you’re comfortable with, and it will remove some anxiety about what they can choose.
You can ease into Yes Day by trying a Yes Morning or Yes Afternoon. Pick your day in advance, too, to encourage kids to plan “Mom, can we have a jump rope competition?” Save it for Yes Day! Besides, the anticipation is half the fun.
And the real golden rule? Don’t do it on a weekday/schoolday/workday.
Above all, you know your kids best. And the chances of them asking for something outlandish are pretty slim. The real joy comes from hearing “Yes.”
Some Cool Ideas for Your ‘Yes Day’
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If you’re on the fence about whether this could work in your family, maybe some ideas for Yes Day will convince you to do it. This will vary depending on the ages of your kids, but keeping it simple will help it work across the board. In the days leading up to your selected day, you can drop some hints about what activities would be cool to do on Yes Day.
Consider a family game night, and get a new board game or two to have on hand.
Head to a local park where you swing with them on the swings or play that endless game of tag.
Remember, the key is for the kids to see you enjoying yourself doing the things that they value.
Why You Should Do It
While you may think there’s nothing constructive to come out of learning how to have a Yes Day with your family, the benefits might surprise you. With just one day a year, you’re empowering your children to make decisions, as silly as they may be, and allowing them to see a different side of you. Hearing no all the time can be a little defeating, for both you and them, and giving them authority for one day teaches them how to use it. Not only that, but also permitting yourself to be relaxed and carefree one day a year prompts you to live in the moment, much like kids do every day, and enjoy every minute. You’re making memories that will last a lifetime for both you and the kids, full of giggles and most importantly, time spent together.
Dwyane Wade, who has always been outspokenly supportive of his transgender daughter, said anti-LGBTQ+ laws are part of the reason his family left Florida
Now, in an interview, he’s revealing that his support for Zaya is part of the reason his family moved from Florida to California in 2019.
Here's what Dwyane Wade said on Headliners when I asked him about anti-LGBTQ laws in Florida: "That's another reason why I don't live in that state. A lot of people don't know that…my family would not be accepted or feel comfortable there." pic.twitter.com/1ya0AevA1C
On an episode of Showtime’s Headliners, Wade told host Rachel Nichols that Florida’s rapid adoption of anti-LGBTQ+ laws is one of the reasons he and his family left the state after he retired from the NBA.
“That’s another reason why I don’t live in that state,” he said. “A lot of people don’t know that. I have to make decisions for my family, not just personal, individual decisions. Obviously, the taxes is great. Having Wade County is great. But my family would not be accepted or feel comfortable there. And so that’s one of the reasons why I don’t live there.”
All things considered, it’s not too surprising. Florida has become an epicenter in Republicans’ battle against LGBTQ+ Americans’ freedoms. State lawmakers recently expanded the state’s “Don’t Say Gay” law to prohibit discussion of gender identity and sexuality in school at all grade levels. They’ve also made moves to ban gender-affirming care for trans youth and punish businesses that host drag shows.
Between 18 and 36 months, kids go through a period of developmental growth that’s nothing short of astonishing. Not only does the average toddler learn to walk, run, climb, jump, talk, and feed themselves, but they also begin to identify, express, and regulate new emotions. “Toddlerhood is a time of massive development and change,” says Dr. Whitney Casares, a pediatrician, author of Doing It All, and Gerber pediatric consultant. It’s also a time when these tiny people get up to some pretty weird stuff. Whether they’re stripping naked in the middle of the grocery store, chugging their bathwater, or demanding you read them the exact same book every night for six months straight, there’s never a dull moment. If you’re a new parent, some of your kid’s offbeat activities can feel especially confusing or even worrisome, so we asked Dr. Casares to explain eight weird toddler behaviors and share her advice on how to handle them.
1. Guzzling bathwater.
“Toddlers are notorious for exploring their environments, especially when those environments are warm and splashy,” says Casares. And if you’ve ever caught your toddler eating dirt or licking the couch, you know that they’re particularly fond of exploring things with their mouths. Little kids don’t realize germs or harmful chemicals may be lurking in their bathwater, but you do. A small amount won’t hurt them, but since you’re keeping a close eye on them in the bath anyway, you can decide when they’ve had their fill of murky pee water. Once they’ve hit their limit, take away any toys that act like a cup and explain that the water is for cleaning, not for drinking. Do your best to distract them when they try to sneak a sip or 12.
2. Only wanting one parent, period.
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It can hurt, being rejected by your toddler, even though they’re oblivious to your pain. Kids often develop a preference for one parent over the other depending on their developmental stage, how much time they spend with each parent, or different parenting styles. “Sometimes, though, a child might just be going through a phase that has nothing to do with the way you parent,” says Casares, so it’s important not to take it personally. “Focus on spending special time with your child, uninterrupted moments where you’re focused solely on building a connection, and know that your investment will pay off in the long run.”
3. Sticking anything and everything up their nose.
“Putting fingers or objects up their own noses, pulling on their ears, twirling their own hair—this is all part of the exploration and discovery process for young learners,” says Casares. To a toddler, their body is a playground, and exploring all the nooks and crannies can lead to things like pom poms or a big sibling’s LEGO getting stuck places. When this happens, reiterate that the nose is not a hiding spot and redirect their attention to something else. When it’s their finger they’re shoving deep inside their nostrils, explain that this is something they can do privately with a tissue but we’d rather not be their audience.
Even though it’s normal, this is one of the weird toddler behaviors that is startling the first time you see it. Toddler head banging often happens during times of dysregulation, like tantrums or anxiety. As adults with developed prefrontal cortexes, we’re able to make decisions using logic and reason, also known as executive functioning, says Casares. But our little ones? Not so much. “When toddlers are faced with something that triggers them, they become their most basic selves. They are no longer in control; they are operating fully on emotion,” she explains. In such an emotional state, banging their heads repeatedly against the nearest hard surface can act as an outlet for big feelings or help them find some calm. In fact, a 2022 study found that 42% of toddlers bang their heads during tantrums.
Overtiredness is another catalyst because the rhythmic thumping and vibrations, though confusing to adults, can be soothing to a toddler. It can look and sound a bit scary, but rest assured, your toddler won’t concuss themselves and will generally stop before it becomes painful (this can sometimes take 10 or 15 minutes, though). Stay calm and try to redirect them to another soothing behavior rather than showing your fear with a big reaction that tells them this is a good way to get attention (they will remember). If you still feel like something’s not right, speak with your pediatrician.
5. So. much. nudity. (And touching themselves.)
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Your toddler may go through a naked streak and will definitely touch themselves. Everywhere. Anywhere. And if they have a blissed-out look in the bubble bath you’d better believe there’s a flurry of activity below the surface. But you can take comfort in the fact that this is totally normal and all that toddler nudity is just a phase. “Never shame or blame, but it’s good to teach our kids to be appropriate,” explains Casares. “Keep it clear, short, and simple: We keep our clothes on in public.” When it comes to touching their private areas, again, don’t overcomplicate it. “Toddlers are exploring their environment and their bodies are pretty fun, but they can definitely understand an action being OK versus not being OK,” says Casares. “Talk about what’s appropriate at home and what’s not, do not go into a long diatribe about why.”
6. Making a run for it.
If your kid has ever darted into the middle of the road and your heart has lept into your throat, you’re all too familiar with this one. It’s particularly serious because it can put your toddler in danger. But remember, they are developing their ability to understand the difference between right and wrong, so it’s best to give them some credit and plan ahead. “Let them know your expectations before you enter the situation,” suggests Casares. “‘We’re going for a walk down the street, but you will not run into the street. We wait until the walking person says it’s safe.’” Setting them up for success and encouraging them when they do listen will help you all feel safe.
“Parents are constantly teaching our kids the difference between what is acceptable behavior and what is not,” says Casares. “We need to teach our kids that all emotions are acceptable, but not all behaviors.” It’s OK to feel mad because you got the green dinosaur toy instead of the blue one; it’s not OK to hit someone, pull their hair, or bite them becauseyou feel mad. This is a lesson that takes time and can feel super embarrassing for parents. But no, your toddler isn’t disturbed—it’s just a developmental phase. If the behavior seems particularly worrisome, speak with your pediatrician.
8. Watching or reading or listening to the same thing over and over and over…
Like so many of us, toddlers find comfort in routine. Sometimes that means sleeping with a certain stuffie (hot tip: as soon as you notice your baby bond with a stuffie, buy a backup or three) or watching the same 2-minute video until it’s permanently worn into your brain grooves. Toddlers find comfort in the safety of knowing what’s next, but research also shows that repetition helps toddlers learn. So when you read Goodnight Moon for the 487th time, remind yourself that you’re also encouraging a love of language.
With the new school year starting, your family’s schedule is likely to be in flux the next few weeks, which means getting ready for bed is an even bigger deal. Establishing a consistent bedtime routine will help your kiddos start their days (and nights) off in the right direction. While kids are never thrilled about going to sleep, we have a few ideas (from experts and parents like you!) to make bedtime a fun routine and not a nightly battle.
1. Start bedtime 20 minutes to one hour earlier.
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While there may be no standard bedtime for every kiddo, research suggests that going to bed early is the best strategy for all kids. One way to guarantee earlier bedtimes is allowing plenty of time for little ones to get ready for bed. For example, if you want your little angel to be asleep at 8 p.m., make sure she starts the bedtime routine 20 minutes to one hour before.
2. Power down and turn up.
Unplug all visual electronic devices at least one hour before bedtime (including parents’ devices). Not only is it distracting, but screen time before bed has been linked with less sleep and higher BMIs in kids. Make this special family time, and encourage kids to listen to music or play bedtime games. There's nothing like a dance party to get the last bit of wiggles out!
3. Read before bed.
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Reading and bedtime stories are a great way to transition from a busy day to sleepy time. Let your kiddo choose a few books they want to read and make story time part of the bedtime routine. Another reason why reading before bed is great is it actually helps kids learn. The American Academy of Pediatrics recommends parents start reading to kids as early as birth to help them learn more words, which helps with brain development.
Did you know signing to your little ones can actually give them more educational and emotional success as they grow? Sally Goddard-Blythe, director of the UK’s Institute for Neuro-Physiological Psychology, recommends that parents start working on their singing abilities and belting out those bedtime songs to ensure healthier kids.
Just like adults, kids' brains can't go from being stimulated to suddenly sleeping. Jennifer Shu, MD, a pediatrician with Children's Medical Group in Atlanta, suggests you plan for some wind-down time before your little one hits the pillow. This is when kids can read a book or you can start dimming the lights in their bedroom. Keep things calm and on the low-key side (that means no tickle fights during the wind-down time).
6. Disarm fear of the dark
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According to Mary Dobbins, MD, a pediatrician and child psychologist, it's normal for kids to be afraid of the dark. If your little one is scared of the nighttime darkness and potential monsters under the bed, make a fun game of quietly checking the room with a flashlight for any "monsters" in the closet or under the bed.
7. Keep fear of FOMO at bay.
Shelley Massey
Is your little one avoiding bedtime because he has a fear of missing out (FOMO)? This fear may not be darkness-based, but it's just as common. A helpful tip is to explain that when you leave the room, you’re going to start your own wind-down process and get ready for bed soon. If that elicits an eye roll, remind them of something they're looking forward to tomorrow like a visiting relative, a trip to the playground or a special outing. This gentle reminder will enforce that the sooner they go to sleep, the sooner tomorrow will come!
Sometimes a small bite to eat before bedtime can actually help kids fall (and stay) asleep. In fact, when a little one (especially a toddler) has a full tummy, they are more likely to sleep through the night instead of waking up hungry. Alissa Palliano of Mommybites suggests simple snacks like yogurt and cheese (great for added calcium), whole grain, fruit or nut butter to keep tummies in line and kids ready for bed.
Many kids dislike bedtime because they feel they're not able to make decisions about going to bed. Instead of making bedtime an argument-filled zone, help kids maintain a sense of control by offering them different choices as part of their routine. Jennifer Waldburger, the co-founder of Sleepy Planet child sleep consultation firm, suggests the following: "Do you want to skip or walk to the bath?" Or "Do you want to wear green pajamas or blue ones?" Or ask them if they want two stories or three.
10. Maintain a relaxing ritual like a bath or massage.
Parents aren't the only ones who benefit from a relaxing massage. Studies show that kids also reap the rewards of this relaxing ritual. According to Maria Hernandez-Reif, a researcher at the Touch Research Institute, massage reduces stress hormone levels and blood glucose levels. These lower stress hormones help reduce anxiety and can give your kiddo a healthier immune system as she grows. A relaxing bath before bedtime is also a great way to transition to the relaxation of bedtime.
One of the reasons little ones don't like bedtime is because it's a big part of the day that they're alone. To help them feel more at ease, make sure your kiddo has a security object that she selects and brings to bed with her. This could be a blanket, stuffed animal or even a shirt that has mom or dad's scent. Those little objects can help bring some safety to the bedtime routine.
12. Don't forget a potty stop.
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Make sure your kiddo makes one last bathroom stop before bedtime. According to Vincent Iannelli, MD, this is especially important for kids who are prone to wetting the bed. Using the restroom before bed also helps kids avoid the tendency to get back out of bed to go to the bathroom once you've already said goodnight.
Most kids who ask for one more bite of food or sip of water aren’t famished or parched, they’re simply stalling. Set boundaries and be diligent about enforcing them. Whenever appropriate, leave a glass of water bedside to ward off thirst. Getting back into the swing of things is tough for kids, but if you remain patient and firm, a peaceful bedtime routine will come together in no time.
Above all else, be consistent! To ensure the routine is consistent, do it at the same time and in the same order every night. And choose a bedtime a bit earlier than you might think. Studies show that earlier bedtimespromote health, good sleep hygiene, and cognitive skills.
With the recent overturn of Roe v. Wade, that number plays in an important role for women having to make decisions regarding pregnancy. The study looked at three year’s worth of health expenses that not only included delivery but outpatient services as well.
Researchers arrived at the $20k price tag by comparing health care claims for women who had not given birth against claims from reproductive-aged women who did. The number is actually just an average (so some pay much more) and doesn’t include any newborn care costs.
Christian Bowen/Unsplash
Moms who gave birth via C-section paid an average of $26k more on health care then their non-parent counterparts. Vaginal deliveries results in about $15k more, with both deliveries having to pay an extra $2-3k in out-of-pocket expenses.
Now for the even more devastating part: the study shows the costs only for care provided via a health plan. That means, any woman without insurance or out-of-pocket claim will have to shoulder an even heavier financial burden. Expenses like fertility treatments, vitamins and loss of earnings all need to be factored in to get a true picture of just how much it costs to have a baby in the United States.
Parenting is hard. You’re responsible for a little (or not so little) person and making all the right decisions. But what happens when you don’t know what the right decision is?
Decision-making, especially in an emotionally charged situation, is exhausting. What if an easy way to make decisions existed? Having made thousands of extraordinarily difficult decisions in my senior leadership career and as a father of four, I’ve figured out a relatively simple method to make decisions I can live with and be proud of that many successful leaders use. It’s perfect for parents, too, because parents are the leaders of their family.
1. Write the Problem Down
Focus on the issue, not your emotions. The brain tends to mix up logic processes when dealing with complex or emotionally charged decisions. Writing the problem down forces us to turn an abstract thought into a concrete statement, idea or question. In that process, we can more precisely frame the problem and, ultimately, downsize it from a larger-than-life issue to one we can work through.
For example, if you’re a parent with school-aged kids battling what to do about your child’s education due to the risks and restrictions of COVID-19, these thoughts might be going through your head:
In-person/online/homeschool
Will kids/adults wear masks?
Fear of getting sick
Uncertainty of the future
Sadness over lack of control
Will kids fall behind academically?
Guilt we just want things to be normal
Frustration with lack of work time
All the competing emotions make the decision-making process difficult.
However, when you write the problem you’re facing in one or two sentences, it may actually look like this:
We want our kids to safely get the best education possible while allowing us to work. What can we reasonably do to make that happen?
Writing the true essence of your problem down helps you focus on the most important part.
Which of those two “problems” looks more approachable? You can spend your time dealing with emotions, fears and unknowns or you can focus on the positive and productive opportunities.
Now that we have a more approachable problem, how do we decide what to do about getting our kids the best education possible? Do we make a pro-and-con list? What if they come out even?
2. Discuss the Problem with Others You Trust
The more people there are to talk about a problem, the more potential solutions there will be. Teams almost always come up with better solutions than individuals. Even though we can be sidetracked, if we don’t share our problems, we often miss other perspectives, relevant data and variables we may not have considered that can help us find solutions or flaws in our assumptions and general approach.
When it comes to our children, there’s nothing new. Someone out there has had a similar problem, so tap into the wisdom of extended family and friends.
Nearly every parent out there is processing what to do about school. Ask trusted friends what they’re thinking. Join a Facebook group, and search to see what other people are discussing. When evaluating education options and risks from COVID-19, share your concerns with your child’s teacher. See if their plans for the school year help guide your thought process.
3. Get Active to Reflect
It’s hard to focus and think about an issue logically when our conscious mind is easily overcome by emotions and daily distractions. When we do a physical task, our subconscious mind can work, which makes decision-making easier. Ask yourself a simple question about the problem when starting the activity.
In our example about school, the simple question is not, “How can I not worry about sending my kids to school?” or “How will I work if they’re home with me.” The right simple question is a positive one: “What can I do to make sure my kids get the best education right now?”
When you do this, physical movement is key. No scrolling social media! Relax by doing something that doesn’t require much thought but has you moving. Almost always, after the activity, your mind will deliver the right answer. Here are a few things you can do:
Shower
Walk or run
Long bicycle ride
Swim
Physical exercise helps quiet your brain.It allows you to focus on your movements, not your thoughts.
Another great approach to relaxing the conscious brain is sleeping. Just before putting your head on the pillow, ask yourself the simple positive question. In the morning, the solution is ready. I’ve found that having paper and pencil by the bed helps, particularly when you want to remember something as you wake up.
4. Take Action
Problems can appear larger than life, causing us to struggle with how to move forward. When you write it down, discuss it and reflect on it, solutions always become evident. They may not be what you expected, but solutions will appear. Then you can look at your options and see which one you are most comfortable with. Once your decision is made, the path forward will be clear, even if it’s not an easy one.
Solutions provide the path and the plan.
Though we may struggle with the murky future of public education, nothing is permanent. You can reassess in a few months and make a different decision if necessary. Do the best you can with the information you have. In this unprecedented set of circumstances, there is no one right answer.
Easy Decision-Making Strategy
Write the problem down
Discuss the problem with others
Get active to reflect
Take action
Every one of us has faced issues where it seemed impossible to make a decision. It’s absolutely exhausting to continually replay all the worries in your mind. But when you use these four steps, you’ll have the ability to make a decision even in the toughest of circumstances and enjoy the rewards or manage the fallout. That’s what made my career so successful and makes life as a father so rewarding. The state of being “undecided” is way worse than choosing to move forward one way or another.
After a 33-year career, concluding as Boeing’s global leader of HR and Administration, Rick Stephens, father and grandfather, co-founded Raising Families with his wife. Together, they use their knowledge, insight and experience to support parents in becoming joyful, confident and intentional family leaders so they can raise engaging, successful children.
As parents, we’re constantly told that too much screen time is bad. We’re told of all the negative reasons why we need to cut the cords and un-glue our children’s eyes from fast-moving digital stimuli.
And as parents, we get it.
We understand why too much screen time is bad. We understand we should get them off the couch and into the great outdoors. But do we understand that nature play has more benefits than simply being an alternative to screen time?
Nature play for children has multiple lifelong benefits not only for our children but also for our planet! Here’s how:
Children who spend more time in nature and with wildlife have better brain and overall development. In other words, they grow to be more well-rounded people.
While there are many benefits of nature play for children, let’s take a look at the top ways:
1. Provides Physical Activity According to the AACAP, children ages 8-12 spend 4-6 hours on screens every day. This is causing kids to become too sedentary, which, in turn, can lead to sleep problems, unhealthy weight, and insecurity issues.
The CDC recommends at least 60 minutes of physical activity each day. However, as we’ll learn from the following benefits, the type of physical activity matters.
Any physical activity is good. Unstructured physical activity out in nature is even better.
2. Promotes Imagination & Creativity
Studies have also shown that kids who spend more time outdoors in nature do better in academics such as math, science, technology, and the arts. This is likely because there are no fixed rules to follow.
With nature play, children are free to make their guidelines and games. Such opportunities are great for creating and using their imagination which is vital to proper cognitive development.
3. Helps Build Problem-Solving Abilities
When children are involved in unstructured play, it helps them solve problems such as who goes first and what rules should be followed.
Of course, you will want to supervise the play for younger children. However, try to give kids a chance to work together on resolving problems before stepping in.
4. Develops Higher Levels of Social & Emotional Intelligence
Unstructured nature play helps teach teamwork and social skills. The children must learn to take turns, share, listen to each other, make decisions, and create imaginary scenarios.
Since the kids are creating the playtime, it allows ample time to learn independently among their peers.
5. Inspires Appreciation of Nature & Wildlife
The importance of nature play in early childhood is clear, but how does it relate to conservation? It’s simple. The more you can get children involved with nature, the better off both will be.
If you can get your kids interested in nature and wildlife, they will want to get involved to help make the world a better place. Perhaps they’ll want to plant more trees, or maybe they’ll want to support wildlife initiatives by preserving different species of animals.
In the end, it doesn’t matter how they decide to help. The important thing is they want to help.
Nature play nurtures kids to be happy, healthy, and caring. What more could we want as a parent?
So, don’t just turn off the screens for the sake of screen time. Turn off the screens and turn up the nature play. Your kids (and our planet) will thank you for it.
Ingrid Simunic is an award-winning communications strategist with a passion for nature and wildlife conservation. As a published Ph.D., she is also an award-winning author of the children's book series, Elliot's Adventures. Ingrid has the joy of collaborating with her son from concept to finish, incorporating his humor as a vital ingredient.
