ML Interest Tag: mastitis

Help Is on the Way: Online & App Resources for Expectant & New Parents

by Eva Ingvarson Cerise

We all know parents are warriors who can work miracles on very little sleep. But we’re also human, and humans need support sometimes. These online resources can connect you with experts, answer your questions, calm your mind, and provide valuable help to you and your baby.

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The Lactation Network
Get the breastfeeding support you need, including 100% health insurance-covered consultations with lactation consultants (in-home, in-office or telehealth), help choosing a breast pump, and lots of useful articles to support your nursing journey.

New Kind
Get one-on-one newborn support from certified postpartum doulas with years of experience in feeding, sleep and postpartum issues. Pick a plan, then get matched with an expert and meet them by video call.

Pregnancy After Loss Support (PALS)
This nonprofit organization provides parents expecting rainbow babies with online support groups, in-person local groups, and an app with a milestone tracker, community support, self-care and coping tools and more.

pumpspotting
This breastfeeding app gives you access to experts for virtual consultations and connects you with a community of parents living that nursing life. Read articles tailored to your experience, based on baby's due date and the date you go back to work. There's even a crowdsourced map of places to nurse and pump, with ratings and photos.

Cluster
Get answers to all your questions about feeding your baby on Cluster, in a judgment-free, peer-powered community. Brought to you by baby nutrition company ByHeart, Cluster can set you up with appointments, classes and events with experts in the field, along with ways to connect with other parents with similar feeding concerns. Whether you're bottlefeeding or breastfeeding, you'll find answers about feeding and sleep, breast issues, setting schedules, baby digestive issues, bonding, self-care and more.

Motherfigure
This maternal wellness startup is committed to supporting mothers through pregnancy, childbirth and raising children through providing them access to care and education. Find childbirth education classes (online or in person); search for doulas, lactation consultants and more in your area; shop for maternity and nursing clothes; and read lots of first-person accounts and reviews.

smiling Black mom with white baby - money-saving tips
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Exhale Parent
This educational resource gives new parents and parents-to-be the legal and financial information they need. If you have questions about topics such as maximizing paternal leave, writing a contract for a caretaker for your child, budgeting, creating a will or choosing a 529 plan, Exhale Parent can help. The site breaks down topics so they're easier to understand and lets you know the steps involved so you can tackle them efficiently.

boober
Founded by a doula, this online marketplace helps expectant and new parents find high-quality classes on childbirth and postpartum support (topics include infant CPR, pumping and newborn sleep), as well as vetted, expert maternal care providers, including lactation consultants, doulas and mental health therapists. Sessions are held in-person or virtually and include free live webinars.

Postpartum Support International
This organization offers online support groups, helplines & text services for new and expecting moms to help manage postpartum stress, isolation, anxiety and depression. Call or text the helpline 24/7 to leave a message that will be answered by a trained volunteer. There are weekly online support meetings for a variety of groups, including: pregnancy mood support, perinatal mood support, NICU parents, military moms, pregnancy and infant loss, and black mothers. Dads can also call for support or attend the monthly Just for Dads chat.

Parent Lab
Parent Lab offers online parenting courses (online or audio) on a variety of topics geared toward new parents, including dealing with anxiety, increasing quality time, screen time guidance, sleep, and coparenting. The team of experts includes child development experts, behavioral experts and parent coaches.

Nurture by NAPS
Founded by two labor-and-delivery nurses, who are also moms, Nurture by NAPS is a subscription service that offers evidence-based, instructional content on pregnancy through the first year of a child's life, including videos from medical professionals, live webinars, weekly live Q&A sessions, and the ability to ask nurses questions and receive an answer within 24 hours.

Herney via Pixabay

Tinyhood
Tinyhood is an app and website that provides advice and support to parents and parents-to-be. Through live online parenting classes and one-on-one consultations with experts, Tinyhood tackles a ton of topics, including developmental milestones, sleep, introducing solid foods, breastfeeding, your postpartum health and more. The experts range from certified lactation consultants and sleep consultants to pediatric nutritionists and potty-training specialists.

Major Care
If you need support as you care for your new baby, consider a doula service like Major Care. This organization matches moms with a certified postpartum doula that can provide 24/7 virtual postpartum care and support. This includes lactation, pumping, perinatal body care, vaginal healing and mood disorder screening and resources. You choose whether you want the services to begin before or after your little one arrives.

Tot Squad
This service offers virtual sessions with experts on home safety, sleep issues, lactation, car seat installation checks and doula services (prenatal, early labor and postpartum).

FoodSafety.gov
This government website lists exactly which foods pregnant women should avoid and why. There's also a handy graphic you can print out to make it easier.

Oleg Sergeichik via Unsplash

La Leche League International
This nonprofit organization provides education, training and advocacy around breastfeeding. There's extensive information on the website on issues related to breastfeeding, including food allergies, biting, caffeine, alcohol, mastitis, oversupply, reflux, tongue ties, vitamins and weight loss.

Kelly Mom
Kelly Mom provides tons of helpful, evidence-based information around breastfeeding, parenting, health and nutrition. Founded by a lactation consultant, the site is organized by topic (including pregnancy and ages & stages), so you can find the information you need.

Healthy Children.org
This website from the American Academy of Pediatrics hosts articles prenatal and baby information on a variety of topics. It covers milestones, nutrition, emotional wellness, immunizations, safety, family dynamics and health issues, all from a medical perspective.

Heal
Talk to doctors using phone or video chat. The video chat happens within the Heal app so there's no additional software to download aside from the app. Doctors can order labs, write prescriptions, and refer you to specialists, making it easy for you to get remote care from the comfort of your own home. Heal also provides mental health services from doctors of clinical psychology. Covered by many health insurance plans (check for yours on the Heal website). Currently available in the following states: Georgia, Maryland, New Jersey, New York, Virginia, Washington and Washington, D.C.

—Eva Ingvarson Cerise

RELATED STORIES:

10 Pregnancy & Parenting Podcasts to Start Listening to Now

26 Cheat Sheets Every Pregnant & New Mama Needs

Advice to New Moms from Moms Who’ve Been There

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6 Things I Wish I Had Known about Breastfeeding before Giving Birth

By Monica Greco

Editor’s Note: Here at Tinybeans, we respect and celebrate every mom’s feeding journey. Bottle? Boob? It doesn’t matter—we believe fed is best. Our Voices Contributor Network is inclusive and open to all parenting journeys—yours, too!

I always pictured my babies to be breastfed. I used to see breastfeeding as this natural and spontaneous thing that both my wife and I were going to experience (my wife carried our first child, I carried the second). I never even considered the scenario where our children would be bottle-fed. Yet, life had different plans: our first daughter ended up being bottle-fed, and I really struggled during the first few weeks of breastfeeding with our second daughter.

What my wife and I experienced with breastfeeding really taught me a lot. I’d love to share with you a list of 6 things I wish I had known about breastfeeding when my wife was still pregnant, before either of us had babies. Had I known these things, I think we could have better prepared mentally for what was coming and avoided so much stress and pain.

1. Breastfeeding does not come naturally. Not always, at least! All those stories of women happily and seamlessly breastfeeding soon after birth are not the norm. The first time I breastfed my daughter I was being stitched up due to a tear during vaginal delivery and the latch hurt like hell. It did not come naturally and it took me several days, a session with a lactation consultant and several midwives showing me how to do it, before I could finally say I got how to hold my baby while breastfeeding.

2. There are multiple positions that you can use to breastfeed your baby. Holding your baby in your arms across your belly, supported by a feeding pillow, is not the only position to breastfeed you baby in! That is the classic “cradle hold” position we are used to seeing in pictures of breastfeeding moms, but it’s not the only one. I was shocked to find out how many different breastfeeding positions there are.

My wife had big breasts and a c-section, so she was shown the “rugby ball hold” When it was my turn, I was struggling with very sore nipples and a midwife must have shown me at least 3 other different positions to try and relieve the pain. Then my lactation consultant showed me the “reclined feeding” position, which totally worked for me and saved my poor nipples. There’s no one right way to breastfeed your baby, you just need to find the one that works for you.

3. It’s important to know of a lactation consultant before you give birth. When my wife gave birth to our first daughter, we didn’t know the importance of seeing a lactation consultant to help us with breastfeeding. It took us several days of struggles, with my wife experiencing extremely engorged breasts before we finally got in touch with one. What we learned from the first appointment with her was priceless. Unfortunately, it wasn’t enough and we ended up bottle feeding our baby. But it sure came back in handy with our second child a couple of years later.

When I gave birth to our second daughter and I started experiencing sore nipples we didn’t hesitate one bit and went to see her straight away. I really wish we had known about the benefits of seeing a lactation consultant from the start. Who knows, maybe our journey with our first daughter could have been different.

4. Skipping or delaying feeding is never a good idea. My second daughter was a few weeks old and we were out at a Christmas parade. She started showing signs of hunger, but the wind was blowing and it was so cold: I didn’t feel like feeding her in the open air. So, I decided to walk all the way to the car and feed her there: she was screaming at the tops of her lungs, poor thing. The walking soon turned into running.

By the time I got to the car and fed her, one of my breasts was so huge and hard! That’s when I learnt that skipping or delaying feeding can cause plugged milk ducts, which can subsequently lead to mastitis. I was lucky enough to avoid mastitis, but it took me quite a few days of massaging a very sore breast to get the plugged duct to drain completely.

5. It can take up to five days for your milk to come. I had no idea it could take that long so, when I was at day four postpartum, and all I could see was colostrum, I started panicking. I was so afraid I wasn’t going to produce enough milk and I spend so much time trying to hand express under the shower. Milk eventually came on day five. I really wish I had known better and relaxed a bit more during those first few days after birth.

6. It’s not the end of the world if you can’t breastfeed. When my wife and I came to the realization that she could not breastfeed it was devastating. We really wanted our baby to be breastfed. We didn’t really prepare for any other option. But what we soon realised was that bottle-feeding her was not going to be that tragic. On the contrary, we ended up loving the fact that I could also be more involved with feeding and we could share the night load.

Looking back, it was silly of us to react the way we did. It is definitely not the end of the world if you can’t breastfeed. Whether it’s because of some medical reason, or because it’s just too hard and is not working for you, it’s okay to stop. You can still have a perfectly healthy and happy baby!

—Monica Greco, conqueringmotherhood.com

Feature photo: Brytny.com on Unsplash

Monica is the proud mom of two beautiful girls and author of the blog Conquering Motherhood. Here she shares tips, suggestions and recommendations on how to have the best pregnancy and birth experience, as well as how to survive the first year of motherhood.

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FAQs & Answers about Breastfeeding from a Doctor

By Dr. Alan Lindemann

In my career as an obstetrician, I’ve delivered more than 6,000 babies. Though new mothers are often eager to breastfeed their babies, many struggle with challenges. With mothers sometimes being sent home only 12 hours after giving birth, they often lack the professional guidance that new parents used to receive in hospitals. Here are my essential tips, addressing some of the most common questions about breastfeeding.

I’m struggling with latching. What should I do?

Latching on is important for both mom and baby. Years ago we could keep a mother and newborn in the hospital until any breastfeeding problems were addressed before sending the family home. Today, with shortened hospital stays, mothers and babies are often discharged before latching is established.

It is important to know what must happen in order for a baby to be nourished. Breastfeeding is not like sucking on a straw that barely extends beyond your lips. For breastfeeding to work, about 2.5 cm of nipple and areola must be in the baby’s mouth. That is so it reaches the baby’s soft palate, where normal suction occurs. This helps preserve Mom’s health; the ducts in the areolas get drained, making mastitis and plugged ducts less likely.

To make latching easier, put the baby’s bottom lip at the bottom of your areola and then put your nipple to the baby’s lips. For most mothers, the edge of your areola and the edge of the baby’s lip should be near.

It’s also important to recognize that if you are worried or distressed—if you think you won’t be able to nurse your baby—you will be less likely to be successful. If you have confidence that you can nurse your baby, you will have a better chance at success.

I use a breast pump. How long can I store the milk?

Fresh breast milk can be kept up to four hours at room temperature (77 degrees F), up to four days in the refrigerator (40 degrees F), and up to six to twelve months in the freezer (0 degrees F). Any leftover milk from feeding should be consumed by the baby within two hours or thrown away. Frozen breast milk thawed should be used within one to two hours and stored in the refrigerator for up to one day. Never refreeze pumped breast milk.

How long should I nurse the baby each time I feed them?

The most important thing about nursing is to be flexible. Once established, your options are endless. I had one patient who nursed her child once a day from one breast for three years.

The baby needs to eat enough to gain 5-7 ounces each week. The baby would double its birth weight by six months and triple its birth weight by one year. Contrary to some recommendations that nursed babies only be given the breast, you can breast and bottle feed. It’s important to get help from nurses or lactation consultants in the first three days. Studies show that women who have c-sections have less trouble with babies failing to thrive (not gaining weight), and subsequently being hospitalized. This isn’t much of a mystery if you consider that women who deliver vaginally are sometimes sent home within 12 hours of delivery — with very little time to receive instruction from professionals about getting started breastfeeding. C-section patients will likely be in the hospital longer.

How many times a day should I nurse my baby?

You need to feed your baby often enough so that it gains weight. Be aware that younger infants will eat more often, taking less milk at each feeding. Whenever your baby cries it is a good time to offer the breast. In my experience, 95 percent of crying babies are hungry.

Should I wake my baby up for feeding?

I would recommend against waking your baby for feeding. However, there is one very important exception. If your baby is small and nurses every two to three hours throughout the day and night, your baby is unlikely to go four or five hours without waking up to nurse. In this situation, I would try waking your baby after four or five hours to be sure that they are okay.

Is it safe to take medications while breastfeeding?

This depends upon what medications you are talking about. You may safely take prenatal iron and vitamins, most over-the-counter medications, Tylenol, antibiotics such as erythromycin or gentamicin, and thyroid replacement medications. If you have any questions or doubts about the safety of a medication while breastfeeding, please ask your doctor.

Remember, if you have any questions, there’s no need to feel alone. There are professionals available to help you, so don’t be afraid to reach out for advice.

Feature Image: Filip Mroz via Unsplash 

RELATED STORIES:
6 Things I Wish I Had Known about Breastfeeding before Giving Birth
The One Thing I Wish Someone Would Have Told Me about Breastfeeding
When Should You See a Breastfeeding Counselor?

 

 

Dr. Alan Lindemann
Tinybeans Voices Contributor

An obstetrician and maternal mortality expert, “Rural Doc” Alan Lindemann, M.D. teaches women and families how to create the outcomes they want for their own health and pregnancy. In nearly 40 years of practice, he has delivered around 6,000 babies and achieved a maternal mortality rate of zero! Visit LindemannMD.com

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When Should You See a Breastfeeding Counselor?

By Penny White

Editor’s Note: Here at Red Tricycle, we respect and celebrate every mom’s feeding journey. Bottle? Boob? It doesn’t matter—we believe fed is best. Our Spoke Contributor Network is inclusive and open to all parenting journeys—yours, too!

This really is quite a big question and one that does divide those that work with people who breastfeed. Should we do an assessment before or after the baby is born? Once they’ve got an issue or beforehand to prepare them? Personally, I think it’s best to be prepared as new motherhood can be such an overwhelming time so let’s minimize some of that worry but there are others who feel that breastfeeding support should be given as needed.

Before the Baby Is Here

If you wonder/worry about any of the following:

  • PCOS: Poly Cystic Ovary Syndrome can result in lowered milk production so you can struggle to begin with.  The good news is that your milk supply will increase the more babies you have but it’s still worth getting information on how to manage.
  • Previous breast surgery: Whether it’s due to a medical issue or cosmetic surgery, medical interventions can result in damage to the delicate tissues contained within so again it’s good to get some resources ready so you can spot any potential issues.
  • IVF: Now it all depends on why you had it and to be honest there isn’t a whole heap of research on this but it is believed that it can cause issues with breastfeeding for some—so again be prepared!
  • If you’re worried you just can’t: Now a lot of babies (the vast majority in all honesty!) will latch with no issues and minimal intervention but again it’s worth having a chat with a professional who can give you lots of little tips to avoid you stressing when you don’t need to. C-section, induction, vaginal birth, medication in labor can all have an impact. Flat nipples, small nipples. inverted, big, uneven nipple size, big breasts, small breasts, one side bigger than the other—we’ve seen them all (it’s our job!) and we are trained to advise you on how to feed your baby.
  • Do you need all that stuff that comes with breastfeeding? Do you really need a pump? Manual, electric, silicone, one you wear, a double or single—which one will work best for you? A pillow? Shields or shells? Isn’t a Hakka something they do in New Zealand? Confused as you just thought you needed your boobs and a baby? Then ask a breastfeeding counselor!

After the Baby Is Here 

If you have any of the following:

  • Pain: Honestly I cannot stress enough—pain in breastfeeding indicates a problem and needs to be addressed. You should not suffer when you feed your child. It doesn’t matter where that pain is in your breast or nipple or stomach or neck and shoulders, having discomfort indicates an issue somewhere. If your emotions are being impacted by your feeding choices/routine that is considered pain as well—ask for help.
  • Questions: So you’ve had the baby and received brilliant help from the breastfeeding counselor in the hospital however you still have lots of questions and she has lots of other patients to see. A one-on-one session with a breastfeeding counselor will give you the time to fire away all those little ‘does this look right to you?’ worries.
  • If you are worried about supply: Not producing much when you pump? Does the baby seem to feed a lot? Breasts suddenly don’t seem as full? Will one bottle of formula a day make a difference? All of these are questions that breastfeeding counselors are trained to answer and can reassure you as we are trained to get to know you first before making any comments.
  • If you have concerns: How often should your baby poo? How will you know that they are full? How will you know that they are hungry? How will you know if they’re full? Feed on demand or to a schedule? Should their poo look like that? Why do they want to eat all the time? Your sister says that [….] shouldn’t happen—is she right? Are you going to spoil your baby by doing too much skin-to-skin? You know what I’m going to say about this don’t you?
  • If you want to stop: It is believed that our ancestors may have breastfed their young until the age of 7. The natural age of weaning is thought to be between 2 and 4 years of age. Now there are a whole host of reasons why we want to stop breastfeeding and seeing a breastfeeding counselor can make sure that you are doing it in a safe way as sudden cessation could result in mastitis, engorgement, and other complications for you.

But does seeing a breastfeeding counselor actually make any difference? In a study in 2019, participants in a breastfeeding support program were “on average 66% less risk of cessation of any breastfeeding and on average 54% less risk of cessation of exclusive breastfeeding at any point in time.” A significant decrease in women still breastfeeding after ten days postpartum was noticed if they did not receive support is shown in a study from 2015.

The facts are that getting breastfeeding support doesn’t mean you’ve failed or you’re not doing it right—it just means that you want to do it well or better. You shouldn’t be judged for asking a question (believe me I’ve been on the receiving end of judgmental breastfeeding support and that was one of the main reasons my oldest was formula fed!) Seeing someone trained in breastfeeding means you will get support and understanding, from a person who can acknowledge how important, frustrating and wonderful this journey is.

This post originally appeared on Bahbabelle.net.

I'm certified as a doula, breastfeeding counselor and Lamaze childbirth educator.  I'm British, living in Bahrain in the Middle East for the last 14 years. I have three daughters and I just want to show them that it doesn't matter your age, dreams can be followed. 

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Facebook Groups Every Mom Should Join

by Felissa Allard

Whether you’re a first-time mom or adding to an ever-expanding brood, raising kids is hard (like, really hard). Luckily, social media can be super helpful when it comes to finding your tribe. We looked through a ton of Facebook groups for every type of mom, every type of family, and every type of need and narrowed it down to our favorites below. Keep reading to find one that’s perfect for you.

Groups for New Moms & Babies

Pregnant Moms Due in 2020, 43.8K members
Find other moms due the same month as you in 2020.

Fussy Baby Support Group, 35K members
This group is perfect for moms feeling overwhelmed by fussy or colicky babies. They make sure moms know it’s a safe no-judgment zone where they can come with questions and get advice. But, they also recommend their members give advice from experience as well.

The Beginner’s Guide to Baby-Led Weaning, 85.9K members
As the name suggests, encouragement and support for moms who are weaning their babies.

Exclusively Pumping, 31.5K members
Another descriptive group name, this group is intended for Exclusive Pumpers to share information and support.

The Mommy Grind, 37K members
This group was created to help new moms navigate the first few years of motherhood. They are also adamant about no solicitations, no contests, no giveaways, etc.

Car Seat Safety, 88.9K members
This group is great for new moms (and dads, of course) who have questions, concerns, and are looking to purchase a new car seat. This group aims to empower and educate their members, but a big goal is to help reduce child injury and death in the event of an accident.

Milky Mommas, 110K members
Breastfeeding is a lot more complicated than it looks. There are latching issues, mastitis (OUCH), nipple confusion and more. Milky Mamas is there to help.

Groups for the Daily Grind

Mom Squad, 35K members
Being a mom is rough. And kids do say the darnedest things. So of course, you need a place to vent, laugh, and bond. Mom Squad is a great place to ask for advice and question things, but keep in mind, that the admins keep the page judgment-free and non-political.

Modern Parenting Hub, 15K members
Both parents and caregivers can connect in this safe space all about communication and socialization. It’s not just about advice on this page, but also about really connecting and building relationships.

Simple Families, 13.7K members
Motherhood and parenting are filled with a lot of white noise … which means nonsense. This group looks to strip down and get rid of the nonsense and help moms focus and thrive in motherhood more simply.

One Bad Mother, 10K members
Based on their Podcast, this Facebook group aims at supporting their members through all of their “genius and failures of life.” Once again, they aim to keep this a safe space where members feel comfortable asking questions, sharing goofs and just venting about the toughness of motherhood.

Cat and Nat Chat, 53K members
If you ever need a true belly laugh, check out Cat & Nat’s #MomTruth videos on YouTube. They tell it like it is, the good, the bad and the (vomit-filled) ugly. And their Facebook group reflects their sass, humor and real-life approach to things.

Slate Parenting, 13.7K members
Fans of Slate Parenting column and podcast Mom and Dad Are Fighting enjoy this dynamic group. All posts in this group are moderated by Slate’s parenting editors and columnists.

The Mom Rant, 13K members
Had a hard day? You might want to consider join The Mom Rant, a safe place for moms and moms-to-be to rant/rave and vent freely. With 11k+ members from across Canada and around the world, it’s a judgment-free place for moms to find solidarity with others.

photo: iStock 

Food-Related Groups

Hungry Toddlers, 128.7k members
Meal ideas and recipes for keeping kids happy during the toddler years.

Costco Meal Ideas for Busy Moms, 35.9k members
Adult and kid-friendly meal and recipe ideas for shopping bulk at Costco.

Feeding the Littles, 70k members
We don’t want to scare you, but feeding young kids often stinks. They are the pickiest, strangest eaters on the planet. Check out this group if you want a safe place to share recipes, ask questions and get advice. Like most parenting groups, they urge members to be respectful and shy away from controversial topics.

Trader Joe’s Meal Ideas for Busy Moms, 130k members
This active group shares the best snack and meal recipes from TJ’s from fellow parents.

Recipe Rescue, 3.9K members
From the Cool Mom Picks team, this active group offers ideas and inspiration for preparing family meals.

Parenting Picky Eaters, 19.6K+ members
Moderated by feeding consultant, Jo Cormack from the UK, and children’s nutritionist and therapist, Simone Emery, this is a safe space for parents of food-cautious kids.

Instant Pot Parents, 19.5K members
If you like your Instant Pot and want more family-friendly ideas and recipes, this is the group for you. With over 18,00 members, there’s a wealth of knowledge here.

photo: Brooke Lark via Unsplash

Special Interest Groups

Kids’ Crafts and Activities, 73K members
There’s nothing worse than snow days, vacation days, sick days or rainy weekends without something to do. This group provides activities and shares articles, ideas, etc. for parents and kids. Think of it as a Pinterest Facebook group filled with tips, tricks and lifesavers.

Moms Who Run, 2.5K members
Mom-to-mom support to get out there and run no matter how busy life is.

Red Tricycle Book Club, 1K members
A monthly book club for moms hosted by the Red Tricycle team.

Moms in Tech, 14.8K members
Ad-free, judgment-free, solicitation-free, this is a safe space for moms working in tech (in any sort of position) looking connect and support each other. They encourage members to post job openings, share projects they are proud of, and respect other members’ privacy. Working is hard, motherhood is hard, and this group hopes to help relieve a bit of both.

Moms of Only Children, 4K members
Whether you are one and done by choice or not, if the question “Are you done having kids?” always annoys you, this is the group for you.

ADHD Parents Support Group, 139.9K members
An open, non-judgmental forum to discuss the challenges of parenting children with ADHD, as well as seek solutions.

Local Groups

Upper East Side Moms (New York City), 31K members
UES Mommas is a group where NY mommas come for support, positive and constructive guidance and community. It’s also a great place to check on great dining suggestions, what’s the deal with the Second Avenue Subway, and how’s that new dry cleaner that just opened. Plus, you can ask questions about schools, museums and more.

Upper West Side Mammas ,(New York City) 19K members
Same thing, but for the Upper West side.

Brooklyn Baby Hui (New York City), 3.8K members
Parents from the neighborhoods of North Brooklyn sharing experiences, resources and stories to empower each other.

NYC Moms- Upper East Side, 21.4K Members
Safe place for moms on the UES to connect with local parents.

Circle of Moms (Chicago), 11K members
You can join this group to chat, ask for advice, give advice, learn about events happening in the area, vent, set up playdates and more. Keep up-to-date about what’s happening in the Windy City and all there is to see and do with kids—big and small.

Washington DC Area Moms, 8.7K members
Learn about events, get great tips (Best playgrounds! Best kid-friendly dining) on this local page. They don’t allow solicitations or marketing, so this is a safe space for even the most hesitant participant.

Main Street Mamas (San Francisco), 14K members
This group claims to have an open mind and no rules, but they do insist on no judging and being respectful. Keep business posts to Momtrepreneur Mondays and classifieds on the weekends, but otherwise, come and enjoy yourself. Learn about events and get to know your SF community.

Marin Mom’s Swap, 4k members
Simple selling and swapping for Marin County mamas.

Portland Mamas, 19K members
What started as a small space for a handful of moms in the area has grown to over 19,000 members offering advice, resources and support in an open and friendly manner. Ideas come fast and thick here, so if you’re looking for the best soft shoes for your toddler or the best school backpack, strap in and get ready! It’s like crowd-sourcing from thousands of great friends who have tried it first.

Red Tricycle Families Seattle, 3K members
Find the tools and tips you need to parent like a rock star on Red Tricycle’s own parent group page, Red Tricycle Families Seattle. On it, you’ll find events, ideas and activities that transform everyday parent-kid outings into memorable adventures that are surprisingly easy to do. It’s also a place for moms and dads to ask the “who, what, where and when” questions that always seem to crop up. Or to post what you know by sharing your own kicking kid-friendly events within the group.

LA Mommies, 58.7K members
LA Mommies is a private group so no one outside of it will see you post about having a mommy meltdown at 2 a.m., but be prepared to (virtually) run into other mom friends. Members can post anything and everything mom-related from pregnancy and parenting advice to the best spots for birthday parties or date nights.

— Felissa Allard with Allison Sutcliffe, Shahrzad Warkentin & Karly Wood

 

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Thank You, Boobs

By Laura Hill

For some reason pregnant people ask me for advice on newborns. I don’t know why because I hate newborns (I mean—I love my children more than life itself—they know this and exploit my weakness and try to kill me with sleep deprivation torture and boob infections.)

My advice is this and it sucks because it’s not advice: The weirdest thing about having a baby is not that a human lives in your house who didn’t exist last year, it’s BOOBS. Boobs rule your life.

NOW LET ME BE CLEAR: Your baby needs food to live and if that food is formula, PLEASE FEED YOUR BABY AND DON’T FEEL BAD ABOUT IT. OMG staaaaaaaap with the mom-shaming, boob tyrants (I’m looking at you, Le Leche League).

Either way, for the first week at least, your boobs rule your life.

You will feel your feelings in your boobs.

You will feel your baby’s feelings in your boobs.

You will feel the f*cking weather in your boobs.

Your boobs own you.

My boobs took ownership a few short years ago on March 22 at about 1 a.m. when a nurse put the girl baby on me and she bit me so hard my nipple folded in half (bad pronoun. The baby, not the nurse. Nurses don’t bite). It bruised that way, in a straight line, and then cracked and developed mastitis which tried to kill me a little bit. MOTHERHOOD IS A BEAUTIFUL MIRACLE LOL arrrrrgggggh.

Then everything got easier. I made enough milk, she drank enough milk. Breastfeeding became easy and convenient and I loved it. Not everyone feels this way, including Queen Victoria and she was the QUEEN! But I liked it. It went well.

The girl was easy to wean. At 17 months, she stopped asking and I stopped offering. She was a Le Leche League poster child. My body didn’t even go back to “normal” yet when my boobs (not my brain—most definitely not my brain) made me say to my husband, “I wouldn’t mind being pregnant.”

Here we are. My second child, the boy, is almost 20 months old. And it’s happening. He’s weaning.

On Monday night he nursed.

On Tuesday morning he asked for a waffle instead of Gaga.

Gaga is his name for my boobs. I don’t know why or how he came up with that name but everyone knows because, every time I picked him up from daycare in the last six months, he would jab his cute, stubby finger into my breast bone and yell, “Gaga!” until I either whipped it out or forced him, hysterical, into the car seat so we could Gaga in the privacy of our own home.

On Tuesday night my husband put him to bed and I tried to work up some emotion about the end of the era but I felt nothing but glee. I would be free! I could take ALL THE DRUGS (jk hugs not drugs)! I could drink all the alchomahalz (jk I can’t drink more than one unit or I fall asleep)! I can get a tattoo (maybe)! I can buy REAL BRAS (DEFINITELY)!

On Wednesday, at naptime, the boy remembered Gaga. “GAGA GAGA GAGA!” He screamed. But it was too late! Wasn’t it? My boobs began to question, threatening to break free from their sports-bra enclosure. I left him to scream and put the girl down for a nap. When I came back in he reached for me. I picked him up, feeling like I was going to crumble. I was going to do whatever he asked of me. And he let me hold him. He didn’t ask for anything at all. I put him down and he went right to sleep.

I sobbed. I blubbered. I was breathless, unable to utter a sentence. My husband insisted on video chatting with me from work. He praised me for being strong (he has selfish motives, of course, but also pure ones). I cried and cried and cried and ate chocolate to chase away the dementors and read some articles online that made me feel bad (LLL….I SEEEEE YOU) and some that made me feel better (Kelly Mom, way to go), and did some work, and…

It’s over. No more Gaga.

It was my boobs that were sad, not me. Lady Gaga was crying, not me. She was gonna miss being of use. She was going to miss being gloriously resplendent, unable to be contained by a simple underwire. She was going to miss spending time with that sweet little baby, who always held my hand as he fed. She didn’t want to deflate into withered old hag bags. It wasn’t me! IT WAS GAGA!

I was gripped by a crashing wave of loneliness. My husband told me I’d feel better soon. He agreed it was the hormones making me hysterical, not me. I’m FINE. I’m HAPPY.

Gaga was commander-in-chief. And it’s over. I’m in charge now.

Thank you Gaga.

 

Laura Wheatman Hill lives in Portland, Oregon with her dentist and two children. She blogs about parenting, writes about everything, and teaches English and drama when not living in an apocalyptic dystopia. Her work has appeared on Sammiches and Psych Meds, Her View From Home, Scary Mommy, and Motherwell.

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Childcare Made Easy with New App for Chicago Parents

by Amy Bizzarri

When was the last time you had a second to catch your breath and enjoy a moment of “me” time? Self-care isn’t just a selfish indulgence. It’s a must-do. One Chicago mom is determined to make it easier to fit more of that essential, self-care-focused ‘me time’ into the lives of parents across Chicagoland. Read on to learn how the new MeTime app is making finding last-minute childcare for your kids a cinch so you can grab ahold of some of that elusive alone time.

photo: MeTime Founders

Self-care: a necessity, not an indulgence
Shortly after she went on maternity leave, Chicago mom Kayla Carey contracted a brutal case of mastitis, an inflammation of breast tissue often accompanied by flu-like symptoms.

“I needed to take my son Liam with me as I went to the doctor and the pharmacy for treatment while finding the stamina to take care of him throughout the day,” said Carey.

With her husband out of town for work and without regular childcare, Carey needed a babysitter STAT. Unable to secure a last-minute sitter, she spent the whole day caring for a newborn, despite desperately needing to rest and recover.

“The whole experience was exhausting, but I couldn’t find an alternative on short notice,” she said.

This situation prompted Carey to wonder whether other parents dealt with the same balancing act of self-care and care-giving.

“Most parents know the struggle of finding affordable childcare that fits their schedules. On top of that, there’s a daily negotiation of how to find some time for yourself,” she said. “Parents, especially moms, feel like they need to do it all, and often for others, leaving nothing left for themselves.”

Need last-minute childcare? There’s an app for that! 
Carey decided to take action: She paired with a pal, Toi Valentine, and the duo harnessed their combined professional experience in healthcare, business strategy and product design to create trymetime.com a web-based platform for parents to find and book drop-in childcare in the greater Chicago region and Northwest Indiana.

The technology-enabled childcare co-op platform is one of the first services of its kind as a drop-in childcare aggregator and booking tool.

“Flexibility is hard to come by, so many parents are forced to find their own workarounds — whether that’s a change to their position at work or informal childcare arrangements with other parents,” said Carey, who serves as the co-founder and chief executive officer of MeTime. “Just like any caregiver, parents need a respite from time to time.”

“MeTime was born of necessity. Parents need more options for childcare than what exists today, especially millennial parents. They have different needs and lifestyles than those of our parents before us,” co-founder Valentine said, who serves as MeTime’s Chief Product Officer. “However, even if parents find flexibility in their professional and personal lives, they still need flexible childcare to match their needs.”

How it works
MeTime helps parents locate childcare options near home or their points of interest, such as the gym or grocery store, on an interactive map. The map displays the type of provider, the distance from your location, the provider’s amenities and photos of both the provider and their child-friendly space.

All of the providers undergo rigorous vetting, including background, home inspections for child safety and reference checks, in order to be listed on MeTime.

MeTime users can book as little as one hour of care up to a full day. The platform has approximately 1,500 hours of childcare per week as its current capacity. To meet the anticipated demand, MeTime is adding providers to its network — such as licensed daycare centers, in-home providers and playspace drop-ins — on a rolling basis. The co-founders hope to expand to several other cities by the end of next year.

Schedule self-care on-the-spot STAT
“Self-care is a necessity, not an indulgence,” says Emma Bennett, LCSW, who specializes in working with new moms. “We need to nurture ourselves just like we nurture our children. If we don’t take care of ourselves, feelings of depletion, resentment, and isolation could potentially arise. I feel more centered and present after taking time to engage in self-care, and strongly believe in building it into my daily agenda.”

Ready to book a little ‘me time’? Visit trymetime.com to learn more or to schedule a little self-care STAT.

— Amy Bizzarri

RELATED STORIES:

How to Interview a Babysitter: Must-Ask Questions & Interview Tips

How to Find the Best Daycare for Your Baby

25 Things New Moms Need to Hear

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How to Win at Breastfeeding During the Winter Months

By Rachael Sablotsky Kish

As I prepare for the birth of my third child—due any day now, but who’s counting—I think about the wonder of having a newborn, while contemplating some of the challenges I know are on the horizon. As we are in the midst of the coldest winter months, chilly winds, drafty homes, dry air and flu season all mean that we must be extra diligent in our feeding routine in order to keep our babies happy and healthy. With temperatures dropping around the country, I thought I would share my top tips for nursing and breast pumping during the winter.

Layer Up!

Whether at home or on the go, it can be frustrating to deal with heavy, uncooperative clothing when your child is hungry. Stay warm and ready to leap into your feeding routine by layering clothing that allows for easy access to your breasts, including button-down sweaters, zip-up hoodies, scarves and nursing tops. Make it easy on yourself by finding accessories that don’t require you to undress or change when you’re using them.

Protect your baby from cold air and promote more skin-to-skin contact with a breathable nursing cover, which allows your body temperature to keep your child cozy. Swaddling blankets, long sleeve sleepers, sleep sacks, a hat and mittens will also help keep your baby snug.

Stay Hydrated

The dry winter weather can quickly dehydrate you and your child compared to the other seasons. To keep yourself hydrated and expressing nutrient-rich milk, be sure to drink lots of water or herbal tea, particularly avoiding sage or peppermint flavors that may affect milk supply. It is also recommended to limit your daily caffeine intake to less than 200mg, as this can be a factor in rapid dehydration.

Winter’s dry air may irritate both your and your child’s the sinuses, so adequate hydration and occasional humidifier use is key and will keep you both comfortable.

What to Do When Sickness Strikes

Many new moms wonder if they should continue expressing, pumping and breastfeeding if they catch the flu. The answer is yes! Breast milk contains vital nutrients and antibodies that babies need to develop healthy immune systems. In fact, mother and child pass germs back and forth while nursing, establishing immunities that protect both from future sicknesses. Additionally, babies that are fed breast milk generally experience shorter and less severe sickness.

Do note that if you need to take medication for an illness, consult your doctor or pharmacist to confirm it’s safe for use while expressing and pumping.

Breast Massage for Happy Moms

Even moms taking all necessary precautions during the winter may still hit some rough spots. Clogged milk ducts are a common issue caused by restrictive seasonal clothing and the dry atmosphere. Many moms switch to looser clothing, nurse more frequently and apply warm compresses to alleviate such issues.

Experts also recommend employing breast massage techniques to reduce the incidence of pain and discomfort associated with clogged milk ducts and mastitis. Hands-on pumping can also help reduce the amount of time you spend pumping and increase the volume of milk expressed.

In the winter months, moms must stay diligent about their baby’s well-being as well as their own. By layering warm clothing, drinking lots of fluids, feeding your child breast milk through illness and using helpful products like Nurture to keep yourself feeling healthy, you can avoid some of winter’s biggest headaches.

This post originally appeared on Imalac.com.
Rachael Sablotsky Kish
Tinybeans Voices Contributor

Rachael Sablotsky Kish is the Co-Founder and Chief Operating Officer of Imalac, a med-tech company which created Nurture, a hands-free breast massage system for nursing mothers that uses an attachable massage component to replicate hands-on pumping. Kish is a Certified Lactation Counselor (CLC), educating and training women on breastfeeding.

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How to Get a Break from Your Newborn When You’re a Perfectionist

By Carly Sachs

Picture this: you get home from the hospital with your fresh babe and are excited and terrified that yes, this child really is yours. You’re going to be taking care of her. You have so much love and so.many.hormones. So many you can’t really even wrap your head around how much your life has changed in the past few days.

You’re home for a couple of days when reality sets in. This new gig is literally 24/7. You’re a sleepwalking zombie since you haven’t gotten more than three consecutive hours of sleep in over a week. Your house looks like a baby bomb went off. You haven’t showered in 36 hours and there is a pile of dishes from your leftover takeout (because who has time to cook) in the sink.

This was NOT what you expected your life to look like immediately after having your child. You feel like a crazy person with an immense pressure to clean up constantly to get your house back in its pre-baby shape.

Mama, I’m going to tell you something you don’t want to hear right now. You need to let it go. Take Elsa’s words to heart. If you don’t know what I’m talking about, just wait two years—Frozen is coming. And just let it go.

I get it. I basically just told you to accomplish the herculean task of relinquishing control over your house and let the mess take over. And this 100 percent goes against your nature.

It basically feels like nails on a chalkboard. You get hives looking at the blankets and bottles and burp cloths  strewn about your living room. Don’t worry—I’m not going to tell you to leave dirty dishes in the sink for a week, that’s just gross. BUT, you can let your hubby or a friend who comes to visit do them.

You can’t do it all. There. I said it. In this vulnerable time of bringing new life into the world, you need help. It’s just a fact and embracing or at least accepting that now will help you move on down the road.

It’s time to delegate (a.k.a., what you don’t need to be doing right now).

Delegate out household tasks that anyone else can do. Hopefully, you have a husband or partner or someone who is helping you out immediately after birth. You also have friends who want to come to visit and meet the new little one. These are your people. They CAN and WANT to help you. Let them. Here is a very specific list of things you should give yourself grace with and accept help.

  1. Laundry
  2. Meal Prep
  3. Dishes
  4. Cleaning the house

While all these tasks pile up (literally—we did at least a load of laundry a day with our newborn) they aren’t things YOU need to be doing yourself.

Here’s what you need to make your priority right now.

Resting. Your body just went through major trauma. If you had a C-section that’s major abdominal surgery. If you had your appendix out would you feel compelled to get up and clean your house the next day?  Take time to rest and recover. Your body needs it and your baby needs you to be healthy.

Breastfeeding and/or pumping. At this point, you’re waiting on or have just had your milk come in. Nurse as much as possible so baby learns what she needs to do and you can begin to help your supply regulate.

If you’re having trouble, get help immediately. Don’t wait until your next doctor’s appointment. Getting help early and often will improve your outcomes with breastfeeding. And help you avoid plugged ducts and mastitis, which nobody wants.

The number one thing you should be focused on at this point is helping your baby grow and thrive outside your body. This means lots of cuddle time with mommy and ensuring she gets enough nutrition. This is something that can’t really be outsourced. The first few weeks postpartum, that is your only goal. Feed yourself and feed that baby.

(FYI: If you choose not to or can’t breastfeed that’s perfectly fine; this article is written from the perspective of a breastfeeding mama.)

SLEEPING. I know, this gave you a good laugh. Nobody’s sleeping at your house! However, if you’re able to give up all the other tasks above, you can hopefully get a catnap when the baby sleeps. I do realize that the baby is up every two to three hours all day and night, which is why I’m suggesting you sleep during the day too. After your baby is taking a bottle (usually after 2-4 weeks) you can give dad one of the nighttime feedings and get a longer stretch of sleep..

Eating. You must eat. I know you don’t have any arms and there’s no way you’re cooking a meal, but you have to eat something. You’re recovering, you’re feeding a baby and not sleeping. To keep yourself healthy and provide adequate nutrition for your little one, you need to make eating a priority. Even if you can only snack multiple times throughout the day.

Showering and brushing your teeth. One would hope that this is a given, but self-care and personal hygiene can easily go out the window with a new baby. You can put the baby in a bouncer for five minutes every day to take a shower and brush your teeth.

Gone are the days of the 30-minute steam sessions, but you’ll be able to increase your time away as baby gets older. Trust me, it will make you feel 1000x more human if you commit to getting a shower every day.

Here’s how to hush your inner Type-A and just accept the help already.

Laundry. Write a list of how to separate your laundry, what detergent you use or any other special instructions and tape it to the top of the washer or dryer before you give birth. If someone offers to help, you can just point them in the direction of the machine. Then go nap.

Meals. When your friends call to see if they can come over and/or bring something, say yes and be specific about what you want for dinner. Many times people don’t know what you feel like eating or if you have any dietary restrictions while breastfeeding. You can also send out a short list of your favorite meals and/or places to eat to your closest friends before the baby comes. Again, they want to help and will probably appreciate the direction.

Household chores. If the dishes and household are too much for you and your spouse at first, see if you can budget for a housekeeper or cleaning service for the first six weeks postpartum.

A lot of times friends and family will come over and be happy to help, but if you’re uncomfortable asking your friends to fold your laundry you can always outsource. Coming from someone who loves to budget and save money—help postpartum is something I’d definitely splurge on again and again.

The addition of a new baby is life-altering in so many ways. One of the most immediate is the impact on your sleep and household right after birth. Letting go of all the responsibility will reduce some of your guilt and help you focus on your main priority—that new little one. It’s not going to be easy but let it go, mama. Accept the help and allow yourself to thrive with your baby.

Carly is a mom, wife and brand marketer who is passionate about talking about the reality of motherhood. She blogs about parenting, awesome products and productivity at The Mamma's List. Her hope is that sharing tips and tricks will help other moms and make this parenting gig easier for all of us. 

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How Breastfeeding Mamas Can Breeze Through the New Year

By Rachael Sablotsky Kish

While the bulk of the holidays has passed, it can be especially chaotic when you are nursing a baby this time of year regardless. Family, friends and a multitude of festivities are bound to interrupt your regular feeding schedule. Here are a few tips on how to breeze through the holidays so you too can take part in the fun.

Keeping Track

Stay organized by creating a list of all your expected events and set reminders on your smartphone for your baby’s feeding schedule. It will truly make a difference during the hustle and bustle of the season. Nursing complications are a common occurrence that may interrupt precious holiday time. With frequent feedings, your milk supply stays consistent and helps prevent complications such as mastitis, clogged milk ducts and breast engorgement.

Additionally, we encourage you to prepare a nursing bag in advance with all the items you’ll require to pump or nurse with ease, no matter where you are. Choose to wear clothing that gives easy access to the breast or does not require undressing completely.

Pay Attention to Your Baby’s Needs (& Yours, Too)

Do what works for you and your family. When it comes to pumping and nursing, it is important to stick to what is most comfortable. Normal holiday stress can inhibit letdown, so extra nursing sessions can be a great way to relax and spend quality time together with your baby.

Staying hydrated is an essential part of expressing milk that is rich in nutrients. It is easy to forget about drinking water during holiday festivities due to consumption of large meals and various snacks, so remember to keep up your water intake to ensure a smooth process while breastfeeding.

Sleep is another vital factor in milk production. Between family functions and social events, it can be easy to lose a few hours of sleep to rush and get things done in time. Make sure you prioritize you and your baby’s rest.

Have Fun & Enjoy Yourself!

Holidays, such as New Year’s, are for appreciating precious family moments, focusing on friends and being grateful for your time together. For breastfeeding mothers, this chaos does not have to completely alter you and your baby’s feeding schedule. The most important part is to have fun and celebrate with the people you care about most.

With a little bit of planning and the help of your family members and support systems, this time of year becomes that much more enjoyable and easy to navigate.

Rachael Sablotsky Kish
Tinybeans Voices Contributor

Rachael Sablotsky Kish is the Co-Founder and Chief Operating Officer of Imalac, a med-tech company which created Nurture, a hands-free breast massage system for nursing mothers that uses an attachable massage component to replicate hands-on pumping. Kish is a Certified Lactation Counselor (CLC), educating and training women on breastfeeding.

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