After squeezing out a baby, your body feels like it’s been through the spin cycle of your washing machine. You’re exhausted and even the tips of your toes ache, but you still want to be there to look after your newborn. This means middle-of-the-night feedings, countless diaper changes, and basically doing all the things. But it’s important to remember to take care of yourself, too—and that includes knowing the things not to do after giving birth.

Elizabeth Quinkert, certified nurse-midwife and administrative director for the Tree of Life Birthing Center, says it’s a good idea to assemble your village before giving birth because as soon as the baby’s born, all focus moves to your newborn. “We’re so busy making sure the baby is taken care of, but birthing parents need time to recover as well,” Quinkert says, something that’s easy to forget when they jump into their caregiving role so quickly.

Whether you had a vaginal birth or a C-section, your body requires rest to rebuild. To help out your sleep-deprived brain, we’ve prepared an easy-to-follow list of the things you shouldn’t do after giving birth. If you have any questions about your postpartum recovery, don’t hesitate to contact your care provider.

1. Don’t drive.

Your brain might be telling you to get in the car and check some errands off your ever-growing list, but your body needs time to heal. Whether you’ve delivered vaginally or via cesarean section, one reason not to drive is blood loss. According to The March of Dimes, it’s normal to lose some blood after giving birth, but it can slow down your reaction time and impair your driving ability, Quinkert says.

So when is it safe for you to hop (or lightly step) behind the wheel again? Your healthcare provider can help you decide. Most experts suggest waiting two weeks before driving after you’ve had a baby. Since moving your foot from the gas to the break and turning your head to check your blind spots requires some ab work, Healthline suggests it can be longer if you had a C-section. If you’re taking opioid medication for pain management to assist in your recovery, discontinue use before you sit in the driver’s seat again.

2. Don’t ignore your pain or skip your checkups.

When you have a baby, stuff hurts. Your body is going to feel achy and exhausted from giving birth, and most of these feels are normal. Soreness, tiredness, and some emotional and hormonal changes are expected since your body has been through a major change, says the Cleveland Clinic. However, there are pain levels and symptoms you shouldn’t just “push through.” Quinkert says if the pain starts to become worse, you feel an unusual pressure, or notice an increase in swelling, these are symptoms to let your provider know about. If your overtired brain is wondering which aches and pains you shouldn’t ignore, the Cleveland Clinic lists the following as postpartum symptoms you don’t want to overlook:

  • Heavy bleeding
  • Significant pain or cramping
  • Severe headaches
  • Complications with tears or incisions
  • Incontinence
  • Frequent peeing or burning
  • Leg pain
  • Chest pain
  • Breast pain or burning

It’s also crucial to keep an eye on your mood and anxiety levels after bringing baby home—and this is where your postpartum checkups are particularly important. During these checkups, your doctor will do a physical exam to make sure your body is healing, but these appointments are also important mental health check-ins. Some sadness and worry are normal for a few weeks—you’ve probably heard of the “baby blues”—but if it remains or gets worse it could be a sign of postpartum depression (PPD), which Quinkert says doctors are always looking out for. Red flags include:

  • Feeling very weepy, guilty, or overwhelmed
  • Worrying that you are a bad mother
  • Losing interest in activities you used to enjoy
  • Not feeling a connection to your baby
  • Inability to take care of your baby
  • Lasting sadness or thoughts of hurting yourself or others (including your baby)
  • Changes in eating or sleeping patterns

If you are experiencing any of these symptoms, speak to your healthcare provider right away.

3. Don’t take a bath.

A nice warm bath to wash away your troubles might seem like just the thing after your labor and delivery and, well, this is partially true. Quinkert recommends a sitz bath to all her patients but not a wash with soap until you’ve healed up. This is especially true if you have episiotomy stitches (from an incision between the vagina and anus to help get your baby out).

“Put three to four inches of water in the tub with Epsom salts and then sit,” Quinkert explains. “That will help the healing process and the pain.” A typical postpartum sitz bath contains 1/2 cup of Epsom salt in 3 to 4 inches of water.

If you’re craving the healing (and cleaning) properties water offers, showering is totally fine, and Quinkert suggests showering first and then having a nice soak in a sitz bath afterward. According to the National Library of Medicine, wait three weeks to indulge in a long bath if you’ve had a C-section as immersing your incision could lead to an infection.

4. Don’t do all the things.

As if being on call for your newborn 24/7 isn’t enough, you may feel tempted to host tons of visitors who want to meet the baby or book a newborn photo shoot. “Women tend to overdo,” Quinkert explains. This is why she encourages her patients to take at least two weeks to heal and not push themselves. This means resting while your baby rests and allowing others to help out with household chores when possible. Quinkert reminds new mothers to eat and practice self-care. This slowing down will give your body time to regain its strength in the weeks following your delivery.

For those who delivered via C-section, you might need more time to take it easy in your baby bubble. While gentle walks and light housework can aid in your recovery, avoid heavy cleaning, jogging, and most exercises for 4-8 weeks to allow your body to heal after your surgery, per Mount Sinai Health System, and don’t lift anything heavier than your baby for 6-8 weeks. Give yourself permission to let the dirty dishes pile up or ask family and friends for help with your newborn while you recover. Also, don’t be shy to ask visitors to bring really useful items—like wipes, baby lotion, or nipple cream—instead of more baby blankets or tiny outfits.

Related: 6 Things New Moms Should Give Themselves Permission to Do

5. Don’t do the wrong kinds of exercise or overdo it.

You’ve had a baby, and you’re feeling ready to slowly start getting into your workout groove. It’s never a bad idea to see your healthcare provider and discuss when to start and what exercises are appropriate for your unique situation. If you’ve had an uncomplicated pregnancy and vaginal delivery, you could begin lightly exercising a few days after giving birth, according to the Mayo Clinic, or as soon as you feel ready.

When you’re first starting out, don’t jump into a hardcore baby boot camp! Low-impact activities like walking or a gentle postpartum exercise class are more your speed. Remember, your body is technically recovering from an injury, so it won’t be ready for planks, squats, or weight training. When it comes to the heavy lifting, Quinkert says if you’ve delivered vaginally, it’s recommended not to lift anything heavier than your baby for two weeks. If you’ve had a C-section, most experts suggest waiting 4-6 weeks. If you have any questions about your exercise plans, your doctor can help guide you.

6. Don’t forget to eat and drink.

While you were pregnant, you remembered to take your prenatal vitamins and avoid eating all the soft cheeses. Now you’re too engrossed in your newborn’s eating schedule to work in a sandwich of your own. But eating healthy meals will help your body heal, per The University of Rochester Medical Center.

Not skipping meals gives you the energy and strength that’s needed for those unpredictable sleepless nights, diaper explosions, and burping marathons with your newborn. To make this easier during postpartum, Quinkert says to be sure to eat foods like healthy proteins and vegetables that will help rebuild tissues. Proteins are the building blocks of the body, which help heal tears (like the tearing that can occur inside or around the vagina during labor), build strength in fatigued muscles, and give energy to the body. For those breastfeeding, the Mayo Clinic suggests this same healthy menu plus eating an additional 330 to 400 calories a day. Quinkert also encourages parents to ask family and friends to assist in meal prep and/or drop off lunches and dinners—especially for the first week.

And don’t forget your grandmother’s words of wisdom: drink plenty of water to stay hydrated, especially if you’re breastfeeding. “Much of the water in the mom’s body goes to the production of milk, so it can cause constipation for some,” Quinkert says. Drinking plenty and eating foods high in fiber can help keep things moving.

7. Don’t compare yourself to other moms.

While it might feel super good to comparison shop when strolling down the Target aisle, it doesn’t feel super good to compare yourself to other moms. “The comparisons start right away,” Quinkert observes. It’s super common for new moms to look outside themselves for validation that they’re doing their best.

However, when you start down the slippery slope of comparing parenting styles or your baby’s milestones with social media influencers or your next-door neighbor, this can lead to feelings of jealousy, frustration, and a loss of confidence. “You’re not going to parent the way your sister did, or your mom, or the way anyone else did,” Quinkert says. You do you and what works best for your newborn—she encourages you to stand strong in your parenting style.

8. Don’t rush into sex.

During postpartum, sex may very well be the last thing on your mind. Your body is hurting and all your energy goes to making sure your baby is healthy and happy. Still, let’s talk about sex. The Mayo Clinic says that while there’s no exact timeline for having sex after giving birth, most healthcare providers recommend waiting 4 to 6 weeks, regardless of how you delivered, to give your body time to heal.

Though some people wait less time and some wait longer, Quinkert emphasizes the importance of discussing pregnancy prevention. “Some people aren’t aware there’s a possibility you can get pregnant during this time,” she says. And feeling emotionally ready is also a consideration—for some moms, it can take months to want to get back in the saddle again. If you just need more time to heal or mentally prepare before you get into your sexy time, that’s alright, too.

9. Don’t hold back on asking for help.

The six weeks following your labor and delivery are full of every feel imaginable. One minute you giggle at the cuteness of your newborn, and the next you’re ugly crying because you can’t figure out how to soothe them. It’s easy to forget that there are people ready to support you through all these moments.

If friends or family offer to help, Quinkert says to accept it. She’s seen moms decline these offers because they believe that needing it makes them a “bad mother” or that it’s impolite to impose. Quinkert asks moms to reframe their viewpoint and “look at this as receiving instead of taking.” Changing your outlook here can help you accept the help you’re being offered. Postpartum can be difficult and lonely, and for those who have access to a strong support system, it can make all the difference.

10. Don’t forget to celebrate the little wins.

You made time to take a shower! You walked a block farther on your walk! You had a good feed! They may seem tiny, but when you’re in the thick of postpartum, even the smallest victories are actually huge. After all, having a baby is the only medical procedure where you’re expected to take care of another human while you’re also trying to take care of yourself, Quinkert reminds us. So be gentle with yourself throughout the process—and go ahead and pat yourself on the back for even the littlest of wins, because you’re ushering a new human into the world and that’s a feat if ever there was one.

These funny jokes will have them belly-laughing for days

Need a good joke when you’re in a pinch? We’ve got you covered with a joke of the day for almost a whole year, and most of them are original! These hilarious jokes for kids require little to no explanation from parents, but you’ll want to get in on the fun, anyway. From cheesy jokes to knock-knock jokes and beyond, many of these have been sent to us by kids themselves. We’ve also got squeaky-clean jokes, spring jokes, and printable lunchbox jokes. And for those looking to take the fun to the next level, we’ve got the best minute to win it games, too.

Why should you share jokes with your kids?

Because it allows kids to learn to laugh at themselves and not take themselves too seriously. It’s an easy way to have quality time that doesn’t include a screen. So go ahead, scroll through our favorite jokes for kids, and spend 15 minutes having a good chuckle with your kiddos.

1. What do you call an ant who fights crime? 
A vigilante! 

—Joe L., age 10 

2. Knock knock.
Who’s there?
Olive.
Olive who?
Olive YOU!

3. Why did the teddy bear say no to dessert?
Because she was stuffed.

4. What do you call a little legume?
A Tinybean.

5. What did the left eye say to the right eye?
Between us, something smells!

6. Why did the police play baseball?
He wanted to get a catch!

—Yuna, age 8

7. What did the microwave say to the other microwave?
Is it just me? Or is it really hot in here?

—Yuna, age 8

8. Why did the student eat his homework?
Because the teacher told him it was a piece of cake!

9. Knock knock.
Who’s there?
Interrupting pirate.
Interrupting pir—yarrrrrr!

10. What is brown, hairy, and wears sunglasses?
A cool coconut.

11. Two pickles fell out of a jar onto the floor. What did one say to the other?
Dill with it.

12. What do you call a fake noodle?
An impasta!

13. Why did the kid cross the playground?
To get to the other slide.

14. Knock knock.
Who’s there?
Icy.
Icy who?
Icy you trying not to laugh at my knock-knock joke!

15. What kind of lion doesn't roar?
A dandelion.

16. How do you stop an astronaut’s baby from crying?
You rocket!

17. Why was 6 afraid of 7?
Because 7, 8, 9

18. What does a cloud wear under a raincoat?
Thunderwear.

19. When does a joke become a “dad” joke?
When the punchline is a parent.

20. What do you call a dinosaur fart?
A blast from the past.

Related: 100+ of The Best Clean Jokes For Kids

21. What did the limestone say to the geologist?
Don’t take me for granite!

22. What do you call a duck that gets all A’s?
A wise quacker.

23. Why does a seagull fly over the sea?
Because if it flew over the bay, it would be a baygull.

24. Which is faster? Hot or cold?
Hot. You can easily catch a cold. 

25. What kind of tree fits in your hand?
A palm tree!

26. Why can't you trust an atom?
They make up everything.

27. Why was the baby strawberry crying?
Because her parents were in a jam.

28. What did the little corn say to the mama corn?
Where is pop corn?

29. What is worse than raining cats and dogs?
Hailing taxis!

30. How much does it cost a pirate to get his ears pierced?
About a buck an ear.

31. Where would you find an elephant?
The same place you lost her!

32. How do you talk to a giant?
Use big words!

33. What animal is always at a baseball game?
A bat.

34. What falls in winter but never gets hurt?
Snow!

35. What do you call a ghost’s true love?
His ghoul-friend.

36. What building in New York has the most stories?
The public library!

37. What did one volcano say to the other?
I lava you!

38. How do we know that the ocean is friendly?
It waves!

39. What is a tornado’s favorite game to play?
Twister!

40. How do baby cats learn how to swim?
The kitty pool.

41. How do you get a squirrel to like you?
Act like a nut!

42. What do you call two birds in love?
Tweethearts!

43. How does a scientist freshen her breath?
With experi-mints!

44. How are false teeth like stars?
They come out at night!

45. How can you tell a vampire has a cold?
She starts coffin.

46. What’s worse than finding a worm in your apple?
Finding half a worm.

47. What is a computer's favorite snack?
Computer chips!!
—reader Rebecca K.

48. Why don’t elephants chew gum?
They do, just not in public.

49. What was the first animal in space?
The cow that jumped over the moon

50. What did the banana say to the dog?
Nothing. Bananas can’t talk.

51. What time is it when the clock strikes 13?
Time to get a new clock.

52. How does a cucumber become a pickle?
It goes through a jarring experience.

53. Which city does Paw Patrol like the most? 
New Yorkie.

54. What do you think of that new diner on the moon?
Food was good, but there really wasn’t much atmosphere.

55. Why did the dinosaur cross the road?
Because the chicken wasn’t born yet.

56. Why can’t Elsa have a balloon?
Because she will let it go.

57. How do you make an octopus laugh?
With ten-tickles!

58. How do you make a tissue dance?
You put a little boogie in it.

59. What's green and can fly?
Super Pickle!

60. When you look for something, why is it always in the last place you look?
Because when you find it, you stop looking.

little girl and boy sharing a joke
Saeed Karimi via Unsplash

61. Why do shrimp never share?
They're so shellfish.

62. What musical instrument is found in the bathroom?
A tuba toothpaste.

63. Why did the kid bring a ladder to school?
Because she wanted to go to high school.

64. Where do vampires keep their money?
A blood bank.

65. What do elves learn in school?
The elf-abet.

66. What do you call a dog magician?
A labracadabrador.

67. Where do pencils go on vacation?
Pencil-vania.

68. Why couldn't the pony sing a lullaby?
She was a little horse.

69. What do you cakes and baseball have in common?
They both need a batter! 

70. What gets wetter the more it dries?
A towel.

71. What do you call two bananas?
Slippers.

And speaking of bananas...

72. Why did the banana go to the doctor?
Because it wasn’t peeling well.

73. Why was the mushroom the life of the party?
It was a fungi.

74. What stays in the corner yet can travel all over the world?  
A stamp.

75. How do you fix a cracked pumpkin?
With a pumpkin patch.

76. What kind of award did the dentist receive?
A little plaque.

77. What do you call a funny mountain?
Hill-arious.

78. What should you drink while singing nursery rhymes?
Hot Cocomelon.

79. Why do bees have sticky hair?
Because they use a honeycomb.

Related: 30 Wacky Winter Jokes for Kids

80. What did the big flower say to the little flower?
Hi, bud!

81. There are two robots sitting on a wall. They are named Pete and Re-Pete. Pete falls off. Who is left?
(Re-Pete...so you repeat the whole thing again and again and again.)

—Henrik P., 10 

82. What is a pony’s favorite juice?
She really likes lemon-neigh’d.

—5-year-old Kerrigan

83. Where do fish keep their money?
In the River-Bank!

—Jaxon G., 7 y.o.

84. What do you call an alligator with a vest?
An investigator!

—Milo H-R, age 8

85. Why was the computer cold?
It left its window open!

—Milo H-R, age 8

86. Knock knock!
Who’s there?
Boo.
Boo who?
Don’t cry!

—Milo H-R, age 8

87. In baseball, would it take longer to run from 1st to 2nd base or 2nd to 3rd base?
2nd to 3rd base because there’s a shortstop in between.

—Milo H-R, age 8

88. What has lots of leaves but never actually grew?
A book!

—Milo H-R, age 8

89. Why was the computer cold?
It had a virus. 

—Henrik, age 10 

90. Why did the invisible man turn down the job offer?
Because he couldn’t see himself doing it.

—Jan L. 

91. Who keeps the ocean clean?
The mer-maid.

—Jan L. 

92. What did the astronaut say when he crashed into the moon?
"I Apollo-gize."

93. Why didn’t the orange win the race?
It ran out of juice.

94. What dinosaur had the best vocabulary?  
The thesaurus.

95. What did one DNA strand say to the other DNA strand?
Do these genes make my butt look big?

96. Why aren’t dogs good dancers?
They have two left feet.

97. What did the wolf say when it stubbed its toe?
Owwwww-ch! (by Henrik, age 5)

98. Kid: What are you doing under there?
Mom: Under where?
Kid: Ha ha! You said underwear!!

99. Why did Johnny throw the clock out of the window?
Because he wanted to see time fly.

100. What did one toilet say to the other?
You look flushed.

two boys laughing at jokes for kids
iStock

101. Why did the man put his money in the freezer?
He wanted cold hard cash!

102. Why couldn't the astronaut book a hotel on the moon?
Because it was full.

103. How do pickles enjoy a day out?
They relish it.

104. What do you call an old snowman?
Water. 

105. What's a pirate's favorite letter?
Arrrrrrrrrr

106. What do you get when you cross an elephant with a fish?
Swimming trunks. 

107. How do you throw a party in space?
You planet. 

108. What do you call an attractive fruit? 
A fine apple! 

109. What happened when the skunk was on trial?
The judge declared, "Odor in the court, odor in the court!" 

110. What do you call a sleeping bull?
A bulldozer! 

111. Why did the tomato blush? 
It saw the salad dressing. 

112. What do you call a fish without an eye? 
A fsh. 

113. What's the difference between roast beef and pea soup?
Anyone can roast beef. 

114. What do you get when you cross a centipede with a parrot?
A walkie talkie. 

115. Why are robots never afraid?
They have nerves of steel.

116. Why did the cabbage win the race? 
Because it was a-head. 

117. What does an evil hen lay?
Deviled eggs. 

118. What does a book do in the winter?
Puts on a jacket. 

119. Knock knock! 
Who's there?
Needle. 
Needle who?
Needle little help right now.

Related: 30+ Math Jokes for Kids That Add Up to Laughs

120. What sound do you hear when a cow breaks the sound barrier?
Cowboom! 

121. What kind of haircuts to bees get?
Buzzzzzcuts. 

122. Knock knock!
Who's there?
Donut.
Donut who?
Donut ask me, I just got here.

124. What do you get if you cross a pie and a snake? 
A pie-thon. 

125. What do you do if you get peanut butter on your doorknob?
Use a door jam.

126. Why was 6 so mad at 7?
Because 7 8 9.

127. Why didn't the robot finish his breakfast?
Because the orange juice told him to concentrate. 

128. Why can't you play hockey with pigs?
They always hog the puck.

129. Why do porcupines always win the game?
They have the most points.

130. Where do elephants pack their clothes?
In their trunks! 

131. What does bread do on vacation?
Loaf around. 

132. Why was the broom running late?
It over-swept.

133. What part of the fish weighs the most? 
The scales. 

134. What do ghosts like to eat in the summer?
I Scream.

135. Why did the teacher wear sunglasses to school?
Because her students were so bright. 

136. What do you call a deer with pink eye?
A colorful eye-deer. (credit to Capt. John of the Appledore!) 

137, Where do sheep go on vacation?
The Baaa-hamas. 

138. What does every birthday end with?
The letter Y. 

139. What did the paper say to the pencil?
Write on! 

140. Why do birds fly?
It's faster than walking. 

141. Why did Superman flush the toilet?
Because it was his doody. 

142. Why did the pillow cross the road?
It was picking up the chicken's feathers. 

143. Can February March?
No, but April May. 

144. What time do ducks wake up?
At the quack of dawn. 

145. Why did the giraffes get bad grades?
She had her head in the clouds. 

146. What did the flower say after it told a joke?
I was just pollen your leg. 

147. What did the traffic light say to the truck?
Don't look, I'm changing. 

148. What do kids play when they don't have a phone?
Bored games. 

149. Why didn't the koala bear get the job?
They said she was over-koala-fied.

150. Who was that owl who did all the tricks?
Who-dini.

151. What kind of vegetable is angry?
A steamed carrot! 

three girls laughing at jokes for kids
iStock

152. How does the moon stay up in the sky?
Moonbeams! 

153. Why isn't there a clock in the library?
Because it tocks too much. 

154. Why do you never see elephants hiding in trees?
Because they're so good at it! 

155. What day of the week are most twins born on?
Twos-day! 

(submitted by reader Scooter T.!) 

156. Would February March?
No, but April May. 

157. What do you call bears with no ears?
B. 

158. What kind of tree fits in your hand?
A palm tree!

168. What do you call a fly with no wings?
A walk. 

—Jasper L., young reader submitted!

169. What’s yellow and looks like pineapple?
A lemon with a new haircut. 

—submitted (and created) by Rafael L. 

Related: 41 Giggle-Inducing Jokes for Toddlers

170. What do you call a deer with no eyes?
"No eye-deer." 

—also sent in by young Raffy 

171. What did the lunchbox say to the banana?
You really have appeal. 

172. What did the mouse say to the keyboard?

You're my type! 

173. What did the science book say to the math book?
Wow, you've got problems. 

174. How do squids get to school?

They take an octobus. 

175. Where do mermaids look for jobs?
The kelp-wanted section. 

176. What word starts with the letter t, ends with the letter t, and has t in it?
A teapot!

—young reader Collin S.

177. What has four wheels and flies?
A garbage truck!

—Lewis G.

178.  Two goats were munching on a movie script. 
Goat 1: This is good!
Goat 2: The book was better.

—reader submitted by Mr. Jeffry

179. What do you call a monkey at the North Pole?
Lost.

—submitted by Stella D.

180. Why did Humpty Dumpty have a great fall?
To make up for his miserable summer.

—reader submitted by Kaci Y.  

181. Why did the woman become an archeologist?
Because her career was in ruins.

182. Knock knock! 
Who's there?
Manatee. 
Manatee who?
Manatee would be better than a sweater today, it's hot! 

183. What do you call two monkeys that share an Amazon account?
Primemates!

—Merci P., aged 10

184. What snack should you make for the Snowman Holiday Party?
Ice Krispy Treats

—Emmerson H., age 13

185. What do you call a nun who sleepwalks?
A roamin' Catholic. 

—Janice B., a reader like you! 

186. Why do birds fly south?
It's too far to walk.

—Pearl, age 10

187. What did the traffic light say to the cars?
Don't look, I'm changing!

—reader, age 6 

188. Why is there a gate around cemeteries?
Because people are dying to get in!

189. What is a scarecrow's favorite fruit?
A strawberry. 

190. How does a hurricane see?
With one eye. 

191. How do they answer the phone at the paint store?
Yellow!

—Lily, age 6

192. Why do scissors always win a race?
Because they take a shortcut!

—Foster, age 5 

193. How do you stop a bull from charging? 
You unplug it! 

—Jadyn, Age 12 

194. What did the dad say to his daughter at the cook out? 
This grill is on fire! 
 

—Jadyn, 12 (This kid is on fire! 🤣) 

195. Why did the king go to the bathroom?
He wanted to sit on the throne.

—Eric, age 10

196. What is a pirate's favorite body part?
The booty!

—C.J., age 9

197. If it takes two men to dig a hole in one day how long would it take for one man to dig a half a hole?           
There is no such thing as a half a hole.

—Eric, age 10

198. How do cats bake cake?
From scratch. 

—reader Jacey

199. What is a zombie's favorite thing to eat?
Brain food. 

200. How do you fix a broken tomato?
With a can of tomato paste. 

201. What do you call a rabbit with lice?
Bugs Bunny. 

a family laughing at jokes for kids
iStock

202. It took 10 workers 10 days to build a bridge.  How long would it take 5 workers to build the same bridge?
None—it’s already built!

—Liam, age 7 

203. How do you make the word Tiger longer?
Ti-grrrh

—Kabir, Age 9

204. How do you clean chicken?  -
Put it in dishwasher.

—Kabir, Age 9

205. What do frogs order at McDonalds?
French flies and a Croak-a-Cola.

206. There's a girl on a boat in a pretty pink coat. What's her name?
What. 

—Ray, age 9

207. Where does a rat go when it has a toothache?
To the rodentist. 

—Ray, age 9!

208. What does an alien do when it is bored in school?
Spaces out. 

—Ray! (they are on a roll!), age 9

209. What does a broken plate say when she gets her cupcake?
Is this GLUE-ten free?

—Guess who? Ray! age 9 

210. Why didn't the hyena cross the road?
He was too busy laughing. 

—reader submitted by Gillian P. 

211. Have you heard the one about the student who was afraid of negative numbers?
He'll stop at nothing to avoid them.

212. What do you call it when a hammock teases another hammock?
Hammockery!

—Joe L., age 8 

213. What did they say when Marie Curie and Albert Einstein said the same thing at the same time?
Greatest minds think alike! 

—Henrik, age 9

214. What did the kid learn about knowledge?
It was all knowing.

—Reader submitted by Deziree

215. Why did the chicken go the hospital?
Because it needed some tweatment!

—Joshua Y., age 9 
 
 
216. Why did the skeletons cross the road?

To get to the body shop!

—Also Mr. Joshua Y., age 9

217. What is more impressive than a talking parrot?
A spelling bee.

—submitted by...drumroll...Joshua Y., age 9!! 

218. What do you call babies in the army?
Infantry! 

—Joe L., age 9

219. What is a cat's favorite color?
Purrr-ple! 

—Olivia W., age 7 

220. Why did the dragon cross the road?
Because he was too chicken to fly!       

—Joshua Y. 

221. Who won the race of princesses?
Rapunzel, By a hair!

—Josh Y! 

222. What did the egg say when it was late for breakfast?
I have to scramble!

—our buddy, Joshua Y. 

223. How do you stop a bull from charging?
You take away it's credit card!

—Joshua Y. 

224. Where does the T-rex go shopping?
The dino store!

—Joshua Y., age 9 

225. Why was the rabbit happy?
Because somebunny loved him!

—Guess who? Joshua Y.! 

226. What did the pear say to the shoeless?
You need a pair of shoes. 

—reader submitted by Rose A. 

227. What do you call a bear with no ear?
A "B"

—Alexis R. 

228. What would happen if the dean lost his job?
He would lose his "ideanity." 

—Joshua Y. 

229. Why did the baby cross the road? 

To get to the whine shop!

—Matilda C., age 7

230. Why shouldn’t you trust stairs?
Because they are always up to something.

—Ryder, Age 3!!! 

Related: 20 Cheesy Jokes To Make Anyone Crack a Smile

231. Why did the scarecrow win an award?
Because he was out standing in his field.

—Suzanna R. 

232. What do you call a cat burrito?
A purrito

—Rosewyn age 8 and 3 quarters 

233. What kind of key opens a banana?
A monkey!

—Rosewyn age 8 and 3 quarters 

234. What do you call a pounding headache? 
A temple tantrum!

—hilarious reader, MJ Sims

235. How do you get a cat to code?

You Scratch it!

—Musegirl, 8

236. Why was the man mad at the clock?

He was ticked off!

—Nolan A. age 8

237. What is the strongest kind of shoe?

Under Armor!

—Liam A. age 9

238. Why did Rudolph have a bad report card?

Because he went down in History!

—Sreeja K., age 8 

239. Why don't scientists trust atoms?
Because they make up everything!

—Sreeja K., age 8 

240. Why can't you spell dark with a "c", so it says "darc"?
Because you can't c in dark!

—Shivani age 8

241. How do you clean a chicken?
An egg wash!

—MB, age 12 

242. Why did the cookie have to go to the doctor?
It was feeling crummy. 

243. What's Joanna Gaines' favorite snack food?
Chips

—H.P., aged 9

244. Why didn’t the skeleton cross the road?
Because there was noBody on the other side. 

—Grandpa Jo, 54

245. Why didn’t the skeleton cross the road?
He didn't have the guts. 

—Londynn, 9

246. What do you do when an astronaut’s wife is upset?
Give her some space.

—Jaden, 11

247. Why did the young astronaut cry on the moon?
Because he missed his mother earth. 

—A mother on earth

248. Two monkeys were fighting over a banana. What happened?
Banana split! 

—Saori K. 

249. What is a vampire's favorite fruit?
A blood orange!

—Rianna G., age 10

250. Why don't eggs like to gamble?
They always get a raw deal. 

251. When is a door not a door?
When it's ajar. 

252. Why did the scientist take out the bell?
He wanted to win the no-bell prize. 

—DT 

253. Why are strawberries natural musicians?
They love to jam. 

254. What is orange and sounds like a parrot?
A carrot! 

Related: 40+ Hilarious Knock Knock Jokes for Kids

little girl laughing on a swing
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255. Did you hear about the kid who drank eight sodas?
He burped 7-Up. 

256. What be the pirate's favorite letter of the alphabet?
Arrrr! 
No, it be the C! (Sea).

—A hilarious 6-year-old reader. 

257. What is a tree's favorite beverage?
Root beer! 

258. Why do fish live in saltwater?
Pepper makes them sneeze! ACHOOOOOO!!!!!!

—Hasset A. 

259. Why are fish so smart?
Because they live in a school!

—Ronit P. 

The following four jokes were written by Kaleb, age 4, as told to his grandpa:

260. Why did the cow lie down in the grass? 
He was ground beef.

261. What did Mama cow say to Baby cow? 
It’s pasture bedtime.

262. Why did the phone walk in the water? 
He was wading for a phone call.

263. What is blue, but not heavy?
Light blue.

264. How do you find Will Smith in the snow?
You look for fresh prints. 

—Joshua N. 

265. Why don't you ever date a tennis player?
Because love means nothing to them.

—Joshua N. 

266. "Doctor, doctor I am afraid of squirrels!"
Doctor: You must be nuts.

—reader Jerry C. 

267. What happened to the frog whose car broke down?
He had to be toad! 

—Martin F. 

268. What is the best day to visit McDonalds?
Fry-Day!

—Gianni, age 6

269. What's a cow's favorite drink?
A s-moooo-thie.

—Young readers Jax (7) and Kora (5)

270. Knock knock!
Who’s there?
Cow
Cow who? 
Cows don’t say who, they say moooo!

—Adalyn, age 5

271. Why did the tomato stop?
Because he was out of juice. 

—Karma E. 

Related: 51 Totally Goofy Birthday Jokes for Kids

272. What are cats best at?
Cat-apulting!

—Macy (10)

273. Where do cats roam?
In the catacombs!

—Katie (34)

274. What kind of stick does a cat chase?
A cat-stick!

—Macy (10)

275. What kind of fruit does a dog eat?
A dog-berry!

—Macy (10) & Katie (34)

276. Why do hockey players make great bankers?
Because they are good at checking.

—Henrik, age 9 3/4

277. How do chickens dance?
Chick to chick.

278. Mr. Red and Ms. Red live in the red house; Mr. Purple and Ms. Purple live in the purple house. Who lives in the white house?
The president!

—submitted by young reader Gwen I.

279. Why did the chicken cross the road?
It was trying to get away from the KFC.

—Ben, age 8

280. Who sits at the bottom of the sea and twitches?
A nervous wreck.

—Alesha, age 11

281. Why was the snowman in the box?
Because he was picking his nose.

—Peter, age 8

 

happy kids laughing
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These next five were sent in from Jax (7) and Kora (5):

282. What’s a dog's favorite toy?
A funny bone!

283. What’s a cow's favorite rock?
A mooo-n rock

284. What’s the scariest plant?
Bam-booo!

285. What’s a cow's favorite place to go?
The mooo-vies!

286. What’s the scariest injury?
A booo-booo!

(Jax & Kora!) 

287. Why was the snow yellow?
Because Elsa let it go! 

—Kaylee

289. Why did the girl smear peanut butter on the road?
To go with the traffic jam!

—Scarlett 

290. What do you call a dinosaur that is sleeping?
A dino-snore!

291. What do you get when you cross a vampire and a snowman?
Frost bite!

292. What did one plate say to the other plate?
Dinner is on me!

293. What do you call Chewbacca with cookies in its fur?
A chocolate-chip Wookie. 

—Jake

294. What is black and white and looks like a penguin?
A penguin. 

—Zhan, age 5 

295. What does a cow like to drink?
A smoothie. 

—Carolina, age 8

296. Why did the parent hit the cake with a hammer?
It was a pound cake. 

little girl and her mom laughing at jokes
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297.  When is the best time to go to the dentist?
At tooth-hurty!!!

—Tyler R.

298. Why is "dark" spelled with a k and not a c? 
Because you can’t c in the dark!

—Garrett

299. A new pig came to the farm, he was a great painter. What do you think his name was?
Pigasso!

—Amara

A spin-off:

300. What is the name of the Dutch pig who was famous for painting sunflowers and cutting off his ear?
Vincent van Hog

—Gloria, age 8

301. What is a bat’s favorite game to play?
A com-bat

—Bianca, age 7

302. What did the salad say to the carrot after it lost the fight?
You've lettuce down.

—Joe, age 10

303. What did the salad say to the carrot when it asked for directions to a restaurant?
Beets me!

—Joe, age 10

304. Why don't eggs tell each other jokes?
They'd crack each other up!

—Raina, age 10

305. Which milkshake always comes with a straw?
A strawberry milkshake

—Gloria, age 8

306. What stories do crustaceans like best?
Lobster Tales

—Gloria, age 8

307. What did the basketball say to the hoop when it missed?
Oh shoot!

—Layla, age 9

308. Why did the lion cross the road?
To get to the other pride!

309. What is the best gift you could ever ask for?
Broken drum sticks. You just can't beat it. 

—Nate

310. Why did the nurse have a red crayon?
To draw blood.

—Charlotte

311. What mood best describes a sad librarian?
Under the books.

—Elliana

Related: You’ll Be Taco-ing about These Jokes All Day

312. What do you call a Buffalo that likes beef?
A Beef-alo

313. What does a camel say to a hunter?
Do you need some camel-flage

314. Why does the dinosaur like the bathroom?
Because it’s ex-stink-t

315. Why does the dentist use a computer?
Because it has Bluetooth.

—Jokes 312-315 by Gunner, age 8

316. What's grey?
A melted penguin.

317. What goes black, white, black, white, black white?
A penguin rolling down a hill.
 
318. Can a match box?
No, but a tin can!
 
319. Why was the baby in Egypt?
It was looking for its mummy.
 
320. Why did the chewing gum cross the road?
It was stuck on the chicken's foot.
 
321. What does a cow eat for breakfast?
Mooo-esli.
 
322. Doctor, doctor, I feel like a dog.
Then go and see a vet!

323. What do girl snakes write at the bottom of their letters?
With love and hisses.

324. Why did the bacteria cross the microscope?
To get to the other slide.
 
—Jokes 316-324 by Elijah, age 11
 
325. Knock, knock
Who's there?
Lettuce.
Lettuce who?
Let us in, it's cold out here!

326. What do you get when you cross a bridge with a car?
To the other side of the river.

327. What do you get when you cross an elephant with a cake?
Crumbs.

328. Doctor, doctor, I keep thinking I'm a dog.
Then sit on the couch and we'll talk about it,
But I'm not allowed on the furniture!

329. Doctor, doctor I feel like a sheep.
That's baa-aaa-aad.

330. What do you call a bee that buzzes quietly?
A mumble bee.

—Jokes 325-330 by Malachi, age 7 and a half

331. Where do you find a polar bear? 
The same place you left her.

—Thomas, age 7

332. What is fast, loud and crunchy?
A rocket chip!

333. How does a vampire start a letter?
Tomb it may concern...

334. What has ears but cannot hear?
A field of corn...

335. Did you hear the one about the claustrophobic astronaut?

He just needed a little space.

Make sure to capture all the giggles—and share them with your family and friends near and far—with the Tinybeans app. The secure platform puts parents in total control of who sees and interacts with photos and videos of their kids.

There are so many parts of parenthood that no one can prepare you for: the first time your baby smiles at you, the first time your child rides a bike, the first time your tween rolls their eyes at you… Yes, the transition from child to tween can be tough, but there are ways to navigate these choppy waters.

There are things you can avoid saying and some things you should lean into. When the child who used to tell you everything no longer opens up, when the child who used to be glued to your side doesn’t want to hang out, and when the child who used to smile every day seems more introspective, here are some ways to try to break through.

“I hear you.”

Many times, all any of us really want is someone to actually listen to us, and our tweens are no different. “Try to understand their perspective before offering suggestions,” the American Psychological Association recommends. “Sometimes your own anxiety can prompt you to try to fix everything. But in many cases, the best help you can offer is to listen attentively.”

“Is there anything I can help with?”

This ties into listening better, but as parents, we can’t always assume that we know what’s wrong. Ask your child for insight instead of meeting them with assumptions. “Do not assume that you know what’s wrong,” the National Health Service advises. “Rather than asking ‘Are you being bullied?’ try saying, ‘I’ve been worried about you. You don’t seem like your usual self, and I’m wondering what’s going on with you at the moment. Is there anything I can help with?'”

“I’m so proud of you.”

This is something we remember to say when our child lands on the honor roll or has a similar amazing accomplishment—but do you remember to say it when your child is just being themselves? I’ve raised an empathetic child, and that’s something I’m very proud of. When I see him saving snacks for his sister or telling me a story about talking to a child who was sitting alone at lunch, I make sure to let him know how proud I am of him and of his character. Pride doesn’t always need to be saved for measurable achievements—like trophies or wins.

“I’m sorry.”

Parents are human, and as such, will make mistakes. We can’t expect that we are always going to model perfect behavior to our children, and when we mess up—we should own it. “Apologizing to your children shows them that you as a parent are willing to take responsibility when you lose your cool or do something hurtful,” advises Sarah Epstein, a licensed marriage and family therapist. “When parents refuse to apologize, it shows the child that their parent is never willing to take responsibility simply because they are the parent. It erodes trust.”

Make it about them.

This isn’t a specific phrase; it’s rather the absence of a very specific word from time to time—”I.” Remember to center your child in the conversation. “Business people are often trained to say, ‘I understand you feel…’ This phrase doesn’t work with kids because it shifts the attention to ‘I’ the adult rather than ‘you, the child, who wants and needs to feel heard,'” says Eileen Kennedy Moore, a psychologist who specializes in parenting, child development, mental health, and social emotional learning, and the author of Kid Confidence: Help Your Child Make Friends, Build Resilience, and Develop Real Self-Esteem. “Use the word ‘you’ and avoid ‘I’ to keep the focus of your empathic comments on your child.”

“Can you show me how you did that?”

The tween years are about the time you start to learn there are things your child knows more about than you. Give your child a reason to get excited about telling you about new interests by showing them you are invested in the idea that they are growing and learning—and probably know more about fifth-grade math than you.

“No.”

The ability to say “no” is something that we can all learn from, and saying “no” to your child teaches them the importance of boundaries. “It does [a child] no favor to be taught that ‘no’ is the opposite of ‘nice,’ to be raised and praised as someone who is always agreeable, never complains, pleases at all costs, goes along to get along, bows to disagreement, and suffers dissatisfaction in silence,” explains Psychology Today. Your child is going to be up against so many situations in life that challenge their beliefs and surface the need to make important decisions. Modeling “no” as a healthy, normal response is critical.

Playing video games created for an older audience is a hard pass

Tweens—those changelings who seem to grow in size and maturity seemingly overnight—can be hard to read. Sure, they know how to project confidence and street smarts (thanks, internet), but they still want to cuddle and can’t pass up a dive into the doctor’s office treasure box on the way out from an appointment. Knowing when to give them some independence and when to pull the parent card isn’t as cut and dry as when they were little. But we’ve done the research, and below, you’ll find a dozen things that tweens shouldn’t do and that we’ve totally got your back on saying no to.

Be Dropped Off at a Public Venue

The reasons against dropping off your tween in a public venue that usually come to mind are different than what you might expect. Let Grow, an organization that believes in the power of enabling children to explore the world on their own, asked David Finkelhor, head of the Crimes Against Children Research Center at the University of New Hampshire, “Have you heard of any case where a child was taken from a parent in public and forced into the sex trade?” His answer—NO. Actual traffickers build relationships with young people they go on to exploit.

But when you’re an unsupervised tween with other tweens, social contagion behavior can be expected. As Dr. Jessica Baker notes, “Tweens are much more concerned with what peers think of them than with what adults think of them. When you put more of them together, if there is impulsivity, the impulsivity amongst the group tends to rise as well. This can lead to bad decisions.” This applies at home too, but in most circumstances, kids are supervised at home. When they’re dropped off, they’re tempted to exhibit new behaviors, and those behaviors will be duplicated.

Have Unchecked Social Media

We get it. First comes the computer, the tablet, or the phone because they have virtual school or use it to connect from home with friends or have late practices. But before you know it, Tic Toc, Instagram, Snapchat, and Be Real become the dominant reason your child is on the device. Research by Johns Hopkins University suggests that the more time spent on social media, the more likely your child is to experience cyberbullying, social anxiety, depression, and exposure to content that is not age-appropriate. “Tweens have shifted to a cognitive plane where they are more aware of those outside of themselves. This makes them extremely vulnerable to many parts of social media,” says clinical psychologist Jessica Baker, Ph.D., CED-S. So before opening the gate to the land of likes and shares, here are some guidelines that will help you ease into this new frontier of parenting.

Watch Mature Entertainment Content

There are a variety of ways that adult content—including sexual content, violence, or encompassing mature concepts—can impact children negatively. According to the American Academy of Pediatrics, “traditional media appears to influence youths’ “sexual scripts,” or shared societal-level beliefs about how people should act in sexual situations. The bottom line? The more sexual content kids see, the more likely they are to embrace sexual behaviors, and sooner. The more violence and aggression, the more likely they are to exhibit aggression. And exposure to adult concepts, such as family dysfunction, mature decisions, and ethical choices, needs context and conversation—two things kids are unlikely to get by just watching it on television.

Have a Smartphone with All the Apps

having a smartphone with all the apps is a thing tweens shouldn't do
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According to Dr. Lydia Criss Mays, Educational Consultant and Early Childhood and Elementary School Expert, “Tweens aren’t ready to own smartphones—nor should they. Recent research shows that owning a smartphone younger predicts lower self-worth, motivation, and resilience. And for tween girls with smartphones, the higher the rates of sadness, anxiety, and depression. One of the best things parents can do for their tweens’ mental health is to keep smartphones out of their hands.”

Manage Money

If you watch the headlines, you’ll probably catch something that reads “Child Charges $1.4k to Amazon.” And while the big spends are kind of funny (and fixable), access to insta-purchasing on computers and smartphones means your tweens have no stopgap between wanting something and getting it. While the convenience of Apple Pay or other automated payment services makes a run to the concession stand by your child easier on you on game day, it does nothing to help them learn how to manage money. Other apps, like Greenlight—the company that launched a parent-managed debit card and app for children to teach money management skills and has just announced Greenlight Max, the first educational investing platform designed for kids—go the extra mile to make sure your tween’s first foray into financial decision-making is instructional, as well.

Be BFFs with Older Teens

According to Angela Herzog, Ph.D., and Clinical Psychologist, tweens are often not prepared to meet the emotional needs of their parents, “who can sometimes turn a blind eye when tweens try to appear mature or socially adept.” Sometimes, when a tween acts older than their age or hangs out with older tweens or teens, it reflects positively on the social standing of the parent. These affiliations with older kids can result in the tween finding him or herself in social scenarios that they are unprepared for, such as drinking or being around sexually charged exchanges—and the tween is simply unprepared to understand the repercussions of this, particularly when parents are giving implied consent to the friendship with older kids.

Decide to Quit

quitting sports is one thing tweens shouldn't do
iStock

 

Let’s face it: tweens are often a few years into a hobby or a sport or mastery of a musical instrument which may be getting just a little stale. However, in the long run, the years between ages 12 and 15 (or high school) are a sprint. Allowing your child to quit something they’ve invested in for years just before they can play or perform at the next level without at least understanding their motivations for quitting is short-sighted. If they ultimately decide to give up on something they’ve worked hard at, make sure it’s for reasons they won’t regret in a few seasons.

Wear a Full Face of Makeup

Chances are your 10-12-year-old tween is being exposed to a stream of products, tutorials, how-to’s, and “hacks” for a visual transformation. And the message they’re getting? Conform to another’s beauty standard and optimize your self-worth. According to the Cleveland Clinic, “There’s no right or wrong age, but the first rule of thumb is to have an open discussion about makeup as soon as your child expresses interest. Parents need to establish expectations, set limits, and understand the psychological and health impact of these permissions on them.”

Play Video Games Rated Teen or Mature

Similar to watching mature television content, playing video games rated teen or mature exposes tweens to images of violence, language, gender stereotyping, and sexually explicit content. Regardless of the game’s popularity, tweens have no business finding their entertainment from media developed for more mature audiences. You’re essentially serving them content they’re incapable of contextualizing, and it will in turn show up in their own behaviors.

Have a Steady Boy or Girlfriend

According to the American Academy of Pediatrics, kids start dating at an average age of 12 and a half for girls and 13 and a half for boys. But at ages 10-12, they are still developing their sense of identity, which becomes confusing when someone else’s identity is intertwined with theirs. While every child is different, most 10-12-year-olds don’t fully understand what it means to be in a relationship, how to respect other people’s boundaries, and cannot handle the emotional pressure of being in a relationship with another person.

Get Fewer Than 9-10 Hours of Sleep Per Night

The American Academy of Sleep Medicine recommends that children aged 6–12 years should regularly sleep 9–12 hours per 24 hours, and teenagers aged 13–18 should sleep 8–10 hours per 24 hours. A good night’s sleep is about getting to sleep, staying asleep, and getting enough good-quality sleep. Here is how a sleep expert establishes bedtime routines in her own home.

Becoming a new mom is tough, but these postpartum self-care tips can help give you the nurturing you need.

Welcome to the rollercoaster ride of motherhood, where each day is a whirlwind of sleepless nights, a flood of emotions you never knew existed, and baby coos you wish you could play on repeat.

If you’re a new mom, congratulations on this incredible adventure you’re embarking on. Whether you’re just days, weeks, or months in, we can only imagine how the arrival of your tiny bean has left you feeling—unparalleled joy with a side of “oh gosh, I’m lost in a tornado of diapers and baby bottles”?

Though, it’s within this bittersweet chaos that you can easily forget the most crucial passenger on this wild ride…you. Yes, you, the superhero who brought a small human into the world.

As your friend, your confidant, and your friendly voice of reason, we’re here to help you navigate the postpartum journey (because you don’t need to do it alone!). From taking care of your mental health to recognizing when you need professional assistance and everything in between, let’s dive into our top postpartum self-care tips.

1. Take Care of You!

There’s no denying that parents put themselves on the back burner when it comes to their children. While you can’t help but make your little ones your number one priority, refusing to dedicate time for self-care can affect your overall parenting.

With your body requiring extra care and nourishment upon giving birth, it’s important to stay hydrated (is that water bottle on your nightstand empty?), eat a well-balanced diet rich in nutrients, and get some hard-earned rest—we know, it’s easier said than done! Incorporating gentle exercises into your routine can also expedite your recovery. It could be as simple as light walks or pelvic floor exercises, but the key is to move at your pace.

2. Keep an Eye Out for Signs of Postpartum Depression

Motherhood brings forth a lot of change, including a spectrum of ever-changing emotions. While some shades are less joyous than others, it’s crucial to recognize if you’re feeling trapped in a prolonged shadow of sadness, hopelessness, or worthlessness.

These feelings are correlated to postpartum depression, a type of mood disorder that affects up to 15% of women after childbirth. The medical condition, which is often mislabeled as “baby blues,” can develop within the first few weeks to months after giving birth. It’s also marked by other serious symptoms, like a lack of interest in once enjoyable activities, the inability to connect with your infant, and thoughts of self-harm. Acknowledge your feelings during this transitional period, and if you find yourself experiencing any of these symptoms, seek immediate help.

3. Seek Professional Help When Needed

Your mental health as a new parent is vital. Not only does it play a direct role in how you navigate the unpredictability of parenthood, but it also impacts the quality of your relationship with your baby. If you’re feeling like you need an outlet to work through what you’re experiencing, that’s okay. Know that seeking professional assistance is a courageous step—and one that should be met with praise and support.

With BetterHelp, an online therapy service, you can take appointments right from the comforts of your home, and on your schedule. That means you have a licensed therapist at your fingertips, available through text, phone, or video, all wrapped up in an affordable monthly subscription.

As the world’s largest therapy service, BetterHelp also gives you access to one of over 30,000 licensed therapists in their massive network based on your needs, preferences, and location, so you can match with a therapist in as little as just 48 hours. If you’re looking for a little extra support from other moms facing similar challenges, you can opt for group sessions. It’s like a virtual village just for you.

Try BetterHelp today and receive our exclusive Tinybeans offer. You’ll earn 25% off your first month!

4. Find Your Village

Moms, we know you carry the weight of the world on your shoulders, but navigating this new era shouldn’t be an act you bear alone. Finding a support system can be paramount for both your mental and emotional well-being, whether it’s your significant other, family, friends, or a mommy support group. Surrounding yourself with comfort, laughter, and shared experiences can be the safety net that’ll uplift you when you need it most.

5. Carve Out “Me Time”

Oftentimes, it’s easy for moms to fully embrace their role as caretakers, devoting all of their time and energy to their new bundle of joy. But it’s important to not lose sight of who you were before children, and to not forget about what brings you happiness and relaxation in the process.

Devote time throughout each week that puts your first, so you can maintain your identity outside of motherhood. Reconnect with hobbies you love, or indulge in a guilty pleasure—maybe a TV series that’s just for you. This time is crucial for recharging and preserving your mental and emotional health.

6. Recognize (& Celebrate!) How Far You’ve Come

With so much always happening at once, it’s easy to overlook the small victories of parenting. Take a step back and celebrate all that you’ve achieved and how much your baby has developed—because of you! Whether it’s your baby sleeping through the night or you mastered the art of one-handed diaper changes, these small wins contribute to your growth as a mother. Acknowledging them can give you the feel-good emotions you need to keep going.

7. Set Realistic Expectations

Hooray, you’ve been promoted to the new role of mom, but like any new job, this period comes with some adjustments and level setting. Set realistic expectations of what you can and cannot accomplish in one day to gift yourself some much-needed compassion and grace.

Consider simplifying your daily routines to manage the demands of caring for a newborn. Rather than going to the grocery store, try ordering your meals weekly from a meal delivery service. If you’re overwhelmed by neglected household chores, tackle one area of the house every few days or divide and conquer with your partner. Every day may not be picture-perfect, and that’s more than okay.

8. Nurture Your Relationship with Your Significant Other

Amidst the sleepless nights and never-ending sea of bottles, don’t forget to nurture the bond with your partner. Communication is key and understanding each other’s needs in this new chapter of life is a must. Even simple gestures can go a long way in maintaining a strong and supportive relationship.

 

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Say it with us, “I’m going easy on myself today”

Parenting is no walk in the park, and sometimes it feels like the cards are stacked against us: work, dealing with tantrums (be it your toddler or tween), laundry, inflation on just about everything. That’s why it is more important than ever to offer some positive reinforcement… to yourself! We talked to the experts and came up with 15 positive affirmations to write down, display, or pull out on the days or in the moments when you need a lift.

Why positive affirmations can make you a better parent

We asked renowned parenting expert Reena B. Patel why positive affirmations matter. Patel, who is also a licensed educational psychologist, board-certified behavior analyst, and the author of Winnie & Her Worries, reminds us that positive affirmations are rooted in positive psychology. “Positive, simple statements help shift your focus away from perceived failures and direct your focus toward your strengths,” says Patel. “We believe and act upon what we think, thus leading to self-fulfilling prophecies if we focus only on what we are not good at. There is power in positive thinking. Positive emotions are linked with better health, longer life, and greater well-being.”

Patel also suggests that, whenever possible, parents try to state their affirmation while looking at themselves in the mirror, and by saying the statement multiple times a day (at least three is ideal). Use positive “I’ statements and place a visual of the words in an area that you can see daily as a reminder, she adds.

1. I am a good parent. It’s easy to criticize ourselves and focus on how we think we’re failing as a mom or dad. But parenting is tough, and we’re all doing the best we can. Acknowledge that fact, and tell yourself out loud, every day, that you’re a good parent.

2. Loving myself is the greatest gift I can give to my child. Kids are sponges and they learn from us. So if your kiddos know you appreciate yourself, they will learn to love themselves. That’s one of the greatest gifts we can give our kids.

3. I’m not perfect. We all know that nobody is perfect. But we place a big expectation on ourselves as parents to be pretty close to it. Repeating that mantra is a great reminder that it’s okay to be human, not to be perfect.

4. I can only control myself. It’s so hard, but one of the best ways to help kids grow emotionally is to exhibit mature behavior. Debbie Pincus, MS LMHC, says, “When we react emotionally to our kids and lose control, we’re allowing our kids to determine how we behave rather than the other way around.” Next time your kid throws a massive fit, try to stay calm and see what happens.

5. I am willing to learn and grow. Patel reminds us that it is critical to embrace change and growth, even when things seem tough. After all, it’s what we’d tell our kids, right?
6. Today is a new day. It’s easy to focus on how yesterday was a bad day. Sanah Rizvi, the founder of The Psych Way, suggests shifting the self-talk to focus on how every day is a chance to make progress toward what you want and the person you want to be.

7. I’m doing the best I can do. At the end of the day, that’s all we can do. Repeating that mantra every day will help you accept it as truth.

8. I make good decisions for my kids. This positive affirmation is a tough one to remember, especially when little ones are very vocal about making their displeasure with our decisions known. Parent Trust points out that moms and dads know they’re making the right choices for their kids. Embrace it and repeat the statement to yourself as a reminder.

9. I’m going easy on myself today. Permit yourself to take it easy. Say it out loud and grow comfortable with the idea.

10. It’s okay to ask for help, and what’s more, I deserve it. It’s time to take control of your needs and be OKAY with asking for help. You’ll be surprised to find out how many people are willing to step up if you just ask them.

11. Parenting is exhausting. Every parent knows this statement to be true. Writer Lauren Tamm suggests repeating this mantra as a reminder that taking care of kids is hard work. No wonder we’re so tired at the end of the day!

12. I am loved. Motherhood can be a thankless job, and little ones aren’t known for their compliments. Parent coach and family therapist Nicole Schwarz reminds moms that even though their kids may not say it, they really do feel that way. You just may need to put words to it.

13. I am what my kiddo needs. At the end of the day, there’s nothing else that’s as true as that statement.

14. It won’t always be like this. The one thing we know for sure is that hardships always pass. From colicky babies to navigating social media with tweens, one day, you’ll find yourself on the other side.

15. I do not need to compare. ” I know my kids the best, and comparisons do not serve me. If I notice myself comparing, I will quickly let it go,” Patel says. And that’s a lead worth following.

—with additional reporting by Leah Singer

Dinner and baths are over, and it’s time for the kids to head to dreamland. Or is it?! Without fail, at that very moment, they’ll get a second wind, and calming them down enough to fall asleep will seem like an impossible task. It’s almost like they know they’ll be out of commission for at least 10 hours and are determined to get every ounce of bounce out before their heads hit the pillow. While they may have an extra burst of excitement or curiosity, we parents are hanging on by a thread—so how can we make the bedtime transition easier and avoid feeling like we’ve run a marathon every. single. night?

Mom and pediatric occupational therapist Courtney English recently shared a few of her favorite sensory activities that help kids calm down before bed, and they’re simple but effective. Her TikTok video shows what parents can do:

@courtneyenglish.ot

Sensory strategies to calm your child’s body before bed! #momsoftiktok #toddlersoftiktok #preschoolmom #sensoryactivities #sensoryprocessing #sensoryplay #pediatricot #pediatricoccupationaltherapy #occupationaltherapy

♬ original sound – Courtney | Pediatric OT

1. Rock yourself with your kiddo in your arms.

In the video, English explains that self-body rocking allows for linear vestibule input—a form of vestibular stimulation—which is a self-soothing tool that helps focus attention. Science Daily explains: “If the person is agitated and hyperaroused, sensory inhibition can be used to diminish arousal, especially in the evening before bedtime or at other times when the person is restless and agitated.” English demonstrates the moves in her video: Gently squeeze your child close to your body for 10 seconds, five seconds on and five seconds off. Count with your child and stay engaged.

2. Squish their legs.

Move your child’s legs in and out, and shake. Be animated and use silly voices. Similar to what Mental Health Center Kids calls progressive muscle relaxation, this will help kids calm their bodies.

3. Make drumming sounds on the carpet.

This activity allows for repetitive proprioceptive input, which is one of the eight sensory systems and “plays a role in body awareness, self-regulation, coordination, posture, and the ability to focus,” according to Neurodivergent Insights. It also allows for repetitive auditory input, which can help kids deal with auditory overload.

4. Do the Clock Move.

This one is a lot of fun. Turn your child upside down and move them slowly from side to side, like a pendulum. Afterward, English recommends following up with heavy work—activities that require the use of our muscles—things like wall push-ups, rolling a medicine ball down the hall, pulling a wagon, or doing an animal walk (think crab walk or bear crawl) Heavy work “creates resistance input to the muscles and this feedback is ultimately what calms and regulates the sensory system,” per OT Toolbox.

5. Toss around a weighted animal.

This one is self-explanatory, but English recommends making silly faces and noises to engage even more with your child. Why the weighted animal? As explained in Healthline, the added weight offers deep pressure touch, which is thought to calm the nervous system and trigger serotonin and dopamine releases.

English posted a second video with even more sensory activities for bedtime, and one idea includes bubbles!

@courtneyenglish.ot

Sensory Bed Time Activities Part 2! #momsoftiktok #toddlermom #preschoolmom #regulation #sensoryplay #sensorykids #sensoryprocessing #pediatricot #pediatricoccupationaltherapy #occupationaltherapy

♬ Everybody – Nicki Minaj

Most of these sensory activities are frequently used by occupational therapists, and we’re all about trying a few the next time we have to wrestle our little monkeys into bed.

This non-profit is all about moms supporting moms when it’s needed the most

Whether you’re a new mom or you’ve got a few years under your belt, there’s no question that life can be overwhelming. Between work, caring for the kids, cleaning up messes, doing a million loads of laundry, making weeknight dinners, and getting everyone where they need to be on time, finding even five minutes for yourself is considered a total win. So what does that say about moms in general? That. We. Need. Help. Even if we don’t feel like we can (or should) ask for it.

That’s why, when we discovered mom-of-two Jen Hamilton’s TikTok video about how her non-profit, Hot Mess Express, came into existence, all we could do was stand up and cheer. Leave it to a mom to know exactly what to do!

Hamilton tells the story in her now-viral video. “So a couple years ago, there was a post on Facebook in a local moms group. It was written anonymously, and it was by a girl who was a couple months postpartum with her second baby. She was asking for recommendations for a cleaning company to come in and help her clean her house because she was so overwhelmed.

“She said, ‘I don’t even have the money to do this but I can’t keep living like this.’ So people commented and were like, ‘Oh, reach out to this person or this company.’ But I was like, ‘We are missing something big here.’”

@_jen_hamilton_

All aboard! Find our FB group if you’re local! Addresses are only shared with those who have signed up to come.

♬ original sound – Jen Hamilton

Hamilton took it upon herself to gather other local moms who could help, and they showed up in a big way.

“There were like eight or ten of us there. We had taken up a collection and we sent her and her family out for a fun day, and we spent the whole day cleaning, organizing, doing laundry. We went to Walmart and got things that they needed. We made sure that there was food in the house. We made crock-pot meals. We went all out. And that was the first ever Hot Mess Express mission,” explained Hamilton.

Since that first day, the non-profit has taken on a life of its own. It now has a nationwide reach with over 50 chapters, and there’s plenty of room for more. Hamilton no longer sits at the helm of Hot Mess Express, but her friend and fellow member, Girl, Same podcaster Brittnie Tran, was ready to take the lead.

@girlsamethepodcast

I can not believe the amount of women interested in joining HME since @Jen Hamilton’s video! It is so beautiful to see and we are so excited to have you 💕 hotmessexpress.co @brittiniechristine @kay.la.dee @Easy Breezy Runner @tina1325 #volunteer #nonprofit #womensupportingwomen

♬ Better in Stereo – Tori

Brittnie Tran recently explained her vision to Scary Mommy: “I would love to see enough Hot Mess Express chapters that we are accessible to as many women as possible. There are so many women who don’t know our group exists, suffering in silence thinking they are alone. That’s why we work so hard to normalize the struggles of motherhood and normalize asking for help.”

The struggle is, in fact, very real. A recent Pew study found that although women are earning more than ever and that there are more dual-income households than in the past, women in opposite-sex relationships are still contributing more to household duties than their partners. In these ‘egalitarian marriages’—meaning both partners contribute equally to the yearly income—women still spend an average of 4.6 hours a week on the same tasks to which their husbands contribute only 1.9 hours a week.

This is where Hot Mess Express comes in. Their mission states: “Hot Mess Express is a group of moms and caregivers who come together to rescue moms in need by doing the housework that can seem impossible. Whether these moms are dealing with postpartum depression, medical problems, social issues, or life burdens, Hot Mom Express is here to alleviate as much stress as possible by doing dishes, laundry, sweeping, mopping, and organization. Our goal is to leave these ladies with a more peaceful existence and give them a fresh start.”

You can check their official website to see if there’s a chapter near you, and if not, the website provides the tools you need to start your own. There’s also a private Facebook group for the non-profit with over 19K members that provides even more support for members.

These thoughtful replies to rude comments are helpful without being harsh

It’s going to happen. Your kid will say something out loud (and loudly) about another person/kid, and it’s going to be embarrassing/rude. Your knee-jerk response may be to apologize and put your child in time-out with the hopes they recognize their inappropriate comments were wrong and they shouldn’t do it again. But is that really going to help in the long run?

“The point of discussing a rude comment with your child is to teach them why something is rude and to teach them appropriate morals and values,” says Dr. Gail Saltz, associate professor of psychiatry at the NY Presbyterian Hospital Weill-Cornell School of Medicine and host of the “How Can I Help?” podcast. “This is why being rude back doesn’t help; it teaches them to continue being rude. Explain how what they said was hurtful or disrespectful, and with what is appropriate to say or an appropriate way to behave.”

With that in mind, here are some inappropriate comments that your kid might make, whether on purpose or by accident, and some smart responses you’ll want to have in your back pocket for a teaching moment.

1. “I don’t want to play with those kids. They are weird!”

If your child is at a playground and in the sandbox, you might encourage them to play with the other children—we’ve all been there. But what if your child isn’t interested and verbalizes it? Therapist and life coach Daniel Rinaldi says you can respond by saying:

“I’d like for you to keep an open mind and include everyone when you are playing. Different interests and ways of doing things make the world an interesting place. If you give other people a chance, you might find you have things in common.”

2. You’re at the grocery store; you tell your child they can’t get the sugary cereal, and they say, “Why are you so stupid? I hate you.”

Depending on your child’s age, they might resort to “stupid” and “hate” because they don’t know how to describe exactly how they are feeling. In these situations, clinical social worker and therapist Christina Granahan says you can respond by saying:

“It’s perfectly okay for you to be angry or have other feelings about me saying ‘no’ to you right now, but it is not okay for you to call me names.”

You can add that you will talk more about this at home and you thank them for being patient in the interim.

3. “Why are they so fat?”

As kids begin to see that people come in different shapes and sizes, they may ask out loud, why is that person so fat? According to Jennifer Kelman, LCSW and JustAnswer mental health expert, a simple response to your child is to let them know that you love their curiosity and then educate them. For example:

“Some people are tall, and some are less tall, some people are smaller, and some are larger in size, and that is what is great about people. We are all different and we can learn new things from others.”

Kelman adds that if this question is asked directly to another person, you can let that person know that you are sorry if their feelings have been hurt and that your child is learning about the world and is showing their curious mind.

4. A child says “Get out of my way” to someone in a wheelchair.

Dr. Saltz has a smart reply parents can utilize in a situation where a child disrespects an individual in a wheelchair:

“They are in a wheelchair because they are having some difficulty with walking which is hard for them. We are never unkind or disrespectful in general, but especially to someone who is struggling in some way.”

Additionally, Saltz adds you’ll want to tell your child to apologize and instead ask if they need help, and if they say they don’t, they can simply move around them.

dad has a smart reply to a rude comment his son made
iStock

5. A child says to someone with a limb difference, “What happened to your hand? It looks weird.”

Rachel Heitman, a licensed clinical practitioner at Carolina Minds, says that a response to inappropriate comments like this is really age-dependent. If it’s an older child who understands more than say, a toddler or preschool child, a more direct answer is necessary. For a younger child, approach the topic with something like:

“I want to go back to earlier when you said the person’s hand looked weird. Their hand didn’t look like my hand or like your hand—lots of people will look different than you and me. That doesn’t make them good or bad. Sometimes the word ‘weird’ can sound like it’s bad. You can always ask me about things you notice.”

Heitman says the most important part about crafting thoughtful replies to rude comments is to acknowledge your kid’s feelings and intent and then coach them.

6. “Why does your breath smell so bad?”

This question may come up while spending time with a friend or family member. Kelman suggests responding by saying something like the following:

“When we eat, it can leave an odor in our mouth, and this is why we brush our teeth regularly so that our mouth is clean and fresh. Perhaps they haven’t had a moment to brush their teeth after they ate, but it’s not nice to comment on someone’s breath, especially if you are in public.”

Depending on the child’s age, you could tell them that sometimes it may be appropriate to pull the person aside to let them know, but otherwise, it is smarter to be quiet.

7. “Why does Grandpa look so old?”

This type of inappropriate comment is bound to come up when a child sees an adult that looks older than their parents or those they’ve seen before. Kelman says you can say something like:

“Grandpa has lived a long time, and as we get older, we start to look a little older, just like you don’t look the same as when you were a baby. We all grow and change, but it’s not nice to tell someone they look old just like how you don’t like being called a baby.”

Related: The Best Advice for When Your Toddler Starts Commenting on People’s Body Types

Should you intervene or not?

As parents of newborns, we take our cues from the noises our babies make. Grunts, whimpers, and full-on cries are ways our little ones communicate their needs. And while sometimes those wails and cackles are easy to understand, there are other moments when it would be so nice if our baby came with an operating manual—like when they cry in their sleep. Watching your infant cry when it looks like they’re still asleep can be confusing: what, exactly, are you supposed to do to support your baby having a good night’s sleep? We turned to two experts to find out.

Dr. Jennifer Selegeon, a practicing pediatrician for 20 years and clinical advisor to the digital pediatric platform ParentMD, says, “One of the most important things we can do for our overall health is learning good sleep hygiene. This starts during infancy.” She explains sleep is important for our development, our mental health, our immune system, and our body systems.

Co-founder of Sleepy Planet Parenting, Jennifer Waldburger, MSW, concurs, explaining that proper shut-eye helps babies thrive on every level: physically, neurologically, and socially. That’s why her company’s mission is to help children “learn good sleep skills with a minimum of tears.”

So now that we’ve met our guides, let’s dig into exactly why babies cry in their sleep and suggestions for what to do when you hear those midnight calls.

1. Your baby is moving into a different phase of sleep.

You’re feeling ready for the different phases your baby will go through during infancy, but how about the different sleep phases? Young babies experience two cycles of sleep: active sleep and quiet sleep. During active sleep (or REM sleep), your baby may dream, their eyes might move rapidly back and forth, or they might make the cutest of noises that you should definitely record to share with the grandparents on Tinybeans. During quiet sleep, your baby sleeps deeply, but it’s during these transitions that crying may occur, Waldburger explains.

“Because the cycles repeat every 45-50 minutes, that means baby is shifting from quiet to active sleep often throughout the night,” Waldburger begins, “so it’s not uncommon to hear baby whimpering throughout the night—this is nothing to worry about.” Dr. Segeleon says babies will often cry in their sleep, and this does not always mean that something is wrong. “Crying during sleep can be perfectly normal, and newborns start off with short sleep cycles and can wake frequently.”

To determine if your baby is crying because of shifting sleep cycles, check to see if their eyes are still closed and listen to your little one’s cries. “What’s more common in some younger babies is an occasional light whimper while keeping their eyes closed. This usually means that baby is shifting from one sleep cycle to the next,” Waldburger says.

2. Your baby is hungry.

Waldburger says if your little one’s cry is louder than a whimper, consider whether or not your baby could be hungry. The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) says that most babies need to eat every 2 to 4 hours. This means that your little one may wake up feeling a little “hangry” several times during the night.

A good rule when trying to decide if your baby’s sleepy cry is due to hunger and should be addressed is to wait and see if your little one continues to cry or is able to settle down quickly. If your infant’s belly is feeling empty, it’ll be tough for them to fall back asleep without this need being met. Waldburger says a louder cry usually means that the baby is awake (or almost awake), even if their eyes are still closed. That’s when it’s time to check your schedule and prep for a feeding session.

3. Your baby is teething.

The drool, the crankiness, and the gnawing on your shirt collar have begun—your baby is teething. Babies start teething around 4 to 8 months of age, per the Children’s Hospital of Los Angeles. This lasts until 30-36 months when that last set of molars appears. Some symptoms of your baby teething are loss of appetite, ear rubbing, and yup, you guessed it… sleep disruptions. Dr. Segeleon reassures that teething can trigger crying during sleep, and Waldburger adds when it comes to teething, we differentiate between ongoing/chronic teething and active teething.

“In chronic teething, there can be some movement of teeth with small spikes of pain or discomfort,” she says. She goes on to explain that this kind of teething could lead to lighter crying, and there isn’t anything you need to do here. In active teething, however, when a tooth is breaking through the gum, this pain can cause your child to cry more intensely. During this type of crying, your kiddo’s eyes will more than likely be open (and they’ll be awake), so Waldburger suggests going to your baby right away to offer comfort, milk, or a pain reliever if your pediatrician has recommended that and guided you on the dosage.

4. Your baby is in a sleep regression.

Your baby was such a good sleeper that you were almost too embarrassed to tell your mom friends. Now, out of the blue, your super-sleeper is waking up and crying more often than you reheat your morning coffee. Sleep regression can be triggered when your infant reaches new milestones or when your baby’s sleep patterns change, according to the Cleveland Clinic. Crying and fussing while sleeping during a sleep regression is common, and it can be hard to tell if baby needs your comfort or needs space to self-soothe.

“Crying during sleep when nothing is really wrong should be short and is typically more of a whimper or brief crying out,” Dr. Selegeon says. As long as you know that the baby’s needs are met, you can wait a few minutes or more to see if they’re able to settle themselves without any intervention. Dr. Selegeon says that if the crying is sustained, or if it sounds like your baby may be in distress, it’s alright to check on them. If you’re still not sure how to handle your baby’s sleepy cries during a sleep regression, Penn Medicine suggests talking with your pediatrician to decide whether or not your baby is old enough to learn how to self-soothe to fall back to sleep on their own or if they still need your comfort when falling asleep.

5. Your baby is overtired or overstimulated.

When your baby crosses over into the world of The Overtired, it can feel like you’re in a weird world of your own. Schedule changes, long periods without power naps, or being overstimulated can all contribute to this state, and you might hear some sleep-crying from your infant even though their eyes are shut tight and you believe them to be asleep. “Sometimes overtired babies are more likely to cry a bit in their sleep,” Waldburger says.

Since overtiredness (and overstimulation) can both cause your baby to cry in their sleep, do your best to intervene early. “Try to get baby down for sleep 10 to 15 minutes before you typically see red eyes, yawning, and fussy behavior—all of which are actually cues that baby is already overtired,” Waldburger says.

What should you do when your baby cries in their sleep?

Hearing your baby whimper, cry, or softly moan while sleeping can be unsettling. As parents, we can struggle with how best to comfort and support our babies. Dr. Segeleon says if you hear your baby crying in their sleep to first take a pause and see if your baby can settle themselves before you rush in and disturb their sleep pattern. “Listen for signs of true distress, because you’ll learn to differentiate your baby’s cries and needs with time and experience,” she assures. You can also double-check the room temperature, make sure your baby’s swaddle is still, well… swaddled, or confirm your little one isn’t gassy.

Waldburger reminds parents that if the baby is lightly whimpering and still asleep, there’s absolutely nothing you need to do. “Sometimes trying to comfort a baby in this case will wake them all the way up—making it harder for them to return to sleep.” If your baby’s needs have been met and they still continue crying lightly for 5 to 10 minutes, try placing a hand on your baby’s tummy, use some very gentle motion, and offer a “shhh” or two.

It’s good for parenting peace of mind to know that most babies will outgrow this sleep-crying phase by the time they’re 4 to 5 months old. In the meantime, both experts say that if you have any questions or concerns about your little one crying in their sleep, contact your pediatrician for more advice.