Hilarious Halloween parenting memes and all that candy are only two things we love about October

Your kids have chosen their Halloween costumes (and then changed their minds 1,000 times), the candy has been bought and then restocked and then restocked again, and you’ve lined up all the best Halloween movies on Netflix. Now that you’re ready for the big night, it’s time to grab a mini-Snickers, relax, and laugh at these hilarious Halloween memes about parenting we’re sure you can relate to.

No judgment from us.

Must. Practice. Restraint.

One must always cover one’s tracks

Who’s in charge here??

When it comes to holiday decorations, reason goes out the window

I haven’t had my coffee. Don’t mess with me

 

It’s all about what’s available right now

Related: 41 Hilarious Parenting Memes to Get You Through the Day

This is an emergency!

Funny Halloween meme

And they wonder why we don't want to buy a costume in July

Funny Halloween meme
courtesy Sarcastic Mommy

Hey, no taxation without representation!

funny halloween meme
Someecards

And that's why we unfriended them

Someecards

It's just...not...fair!

funny halloween memes

We always tell our kids, "Practice makes perfect" 

funny halloween memes

No, you cannot substitute Bit-O-Honey

funny halloween memes

Wait, does anyone really have a perfect jack-o'-lantern pic?

Funny Halloween meme
Freshly Picked

If this is you, I don't think we can hang out anymore...

Finally, we're on trend!

Someecards

Related: Hilarious Potty Training Memes to Keep You Going when the Going Gets Rough

Guess you didn't get the last text, Fred...

Any red or white will work. Or beer. Just sayin'

Someecards

At least we're being honest with ourselves

Kids! They say the darnedest things!

Someecards

The good news is, Christmas candy!

How we all got here, pretty much

Someecards

And this is how you win parenting, folks

Because reward charts work so well

Someecards

Don't even get us started on Christmas

Just modeling good behavior for our kids

Well, that's just despicable!

It's called "Sugar-Induced Memory Loss," it's a thing!

 

 

 

You’ve heard reading aloud is critical to your child’s success and you strive to get it in most nights when you can. Sometimes, though, it’s just hard to put in the time. You work long hours, you’re tired, homework went on forever or after-school activities ended late and you just want to skip story time tonight. For all the many reasons why that seems like a good idea, here are five solid reasons in favor of reading aloud consistently  (just 10 minutes!) when you need a little motivation.

5 great reasons to read aloud to your child

Modeling fluency skills: Children need to hear adult, skilled readers model what good fluency sounds like when they read aloud so they can copy that sound. A reader is fluent when the words flow together well and are not choppy or slow. The more you can model how the words should flow well together when you read (as well as stopping at periods, pausing at commas, and obeying the other punctuation marks too) the better your child will pick up this skill.

Modeling language and vocabulary: books are amazing for increasing children’s understanding of language and learning new vocabulary words. Even simple children’s books often have a rich vocabulary that is not in our everyday conversation and therefore children do not hear it. In order to know a word, it needs to be used, in context (in the story) and so reading aloud is the perfect way to share new words with children.

Sharing quality time together: In the craziness that is life these days, we often don’t have more than 10 minutes a day of quality time to spend with family members. Reading books aloud together creates this time and allows us to be in the moment with our children, enjoying their company as well as a good story and it also builds memories that will last a long time.

Make a statement: “We value reading.” When we do it together every day, we are telling our children that reading is important in our home, and it’s a habit that is a part of our lives. When we skip days or find too often that we allow other excuses to take the place of reading time, we are sending our children the message that reading takes a back seat to those distractions and that message is powerful.

Relaxation: Reading is a relaxing activity. By choosing to read aloud at night before bed, we are winding down each day in a relaxing way in a way that screens such as cell phones and iPads don’t allow for.

Monica, mom to 11-year-old Zane, says this about reading aloud, “It’s often very easy to slip into a million reasons why we can’t make time at night to read a book together. Once we started allowing ourselves to be distracted, it just got even easier. However, we knew that was not going to help Zane with reading so we promised each other that reading aloud would come first. Since we made it a top priority, we don’t let each other miss our nightly story and Zane’s teacher has told us that his reading has improved in school.”

If you’re finding it hard to get in the time, strive for just 10 minutes a night. This is enough time for a short picture book, or chapter in a simple chapter book, and will ensure you don’t let distractions get in the way of this time together. Then on nights that are less busy, work towards reading for 30 minutes together. I promise it will be one of the best ways you can spend time as a family.

 

 

Colleen Carroll, EdD
Tinybeans Voices Contributor

I am passionate about helping families raise children who LOVE to read. I created Innovative Reading to provide easy activities to moms and dads who have children that dislike reading and that struggle to read.  Together we can help your child become a confident and happy reader with only 10 minutes of time a night. (www.InnovativeReading.com)

Turn open after-school time into a creative adventure in a flash

It’s a weekday afternoon between school and whatever practice is on the family calendar. Kill a few minutes with a quick and easy art activity for kids. With minimal supplies and almost zero set-up effort, we promise you won’t be holding back the urge to scream over complicated steps or time commitments. After all, when it comes to crafts, we’re all about less is more (most of the time). 

Pointillism Art with Q-Tips

We love this one because there’s no need to wash brushes when the kids are done. You can also use a pencil eraser and stamp pads for even less mess and easier cleanup!

Printable Art Activities

little girl enjoying art activities for kids

Let's face it, when it comes to quick and easy art activities for kids, sometimes it's best to print out some coloring pages and toss crayons and markers on the table. That's why we've got tons of free printables for kids like mermaid coloring pages, T-Rex coloring pages, Stegosaurus coloring pages, and one collection that has a little bit of everything.

Tie Dye Coffee Filter Art

Little Bins for Little Hands

Making tie-dye shirts is a multi-day process, so this activity from Little Bins for Little Hands incorporates all the fun of tie-dying without the hassle. Coffee filters are the perfect canvas to watch colors spread and combine, and they dry out pretty quickly too.

Frozen Chalk Paint

frozen chalk paint can be used in art activities for kids
Mini Monets and Mommies

You can make these ice cubes ahead of time and have them ready to go. This art activity for kids is ideal if you have loads of those teeny tiny chalk nubs hanging around the bottom of your art bin. Grind them up, add some water, freeze, and let your child draw her afternoon away.

Ziploc Finger Painting

plastic bag painting is a fun art activity for kids
Shelley Massey

It doesn't get any easier than this, friends. With nothing but a ziplock baggie and paint, you've set your pint-sized Picasso (and yourself) up for endless fun. Another option is to tape the bag to a window or a door so you can see light filter through the designs, or add glitter to bags for extra sparkle.

Clay Finger Paint

Mini Monets and Mommies

You want your creative kid to go wild with rainbow finger paints. Um, but you’re not into the idea of spending your Monday night cleaning Jackson Pollock-esque splatters from the walls. Swap in soft modeling clay for the actual paints. Pull it into pieces and “paint” it onto cardboard. It’s a totally low-mess art activity that lets your little one create a textured "painting."

Related: 15 Ways to Play with the Kids That Take 10 Minutes (or Less)

Recycled Texture Collage

Mini Monets and Mommies

Reuse those old worksheets, tissue paper, and anything else in a collage. Glue these onto a cardboard base, creating textures and patterns. Kids can practice scissor skills, explore through their senses and create collages that are either abstract or look like “something” real.

Plastic Wrap Process Art

process art activities for kids
Buggy and Buddy

If you've got Saran Wrap at home, you're halfway there with this art activity for kids from Buggy and Buddy. Even better, you'll need to leave the paper alone overnight to dry, so there's less chance of a wet mess. 

Paint with Nature

Hands On As We Grow

Paintbrushes, who needs them? Not your child. Get some fresh air after school and gather a few natural items. When your child has plenty of pinecones, stems, sticks and other nature-y items ready, paint like Hands On As We Grow did!

Felt Patterns

Cut shapes out of craft felt in different colors. Your child can press the shapes against a full felt sheet to create patterns. Oh, and this one is reusable too.

Foam Prints

Reuse Styrofoam plates or trays. Use a craft stick to ‘draw’ a design, add tempera and press onto a piece of construction paper. Wash the plates and reuse them, making as many prints as your child wants—in different colors. When the prints are dry, add onto them with paint, chalk or markers.

Related: 6 Fantastic Benefits of Arts & Crafts for Kids

Photo: Devin Tomiak

Anyone else feel a mild sense of panic at the word “resilience”?

You worry you aren’t doing enough to build your kid’s resilience. You worry you aren’t doing it right. You worry because the stakes are so high. You worry because you don’t even know the difference between “resilience” and “resiliency.” (Is there a difference?) And your kid quit T-ball after just one practice. And your kid cried after losing Parcheesi. And your kid just seems, well, flimsy.

[Cue timid hand raise.]

Fear not.

Whether you mean to be or not, you are building your child’s resilience all the time.

That’s right. ALL THE TIME.

Each time you sign your child up for soccer or baton twirling or chess club, you are teaching the value of cultivating passions. Each time you ask your child to do a chore, you’re imparting self-efficacy. Each time you insist your child floss, you are instructing them on self-care. Each time you remind your child not to interrupt when you’re on the phone, you are teaching empathy and effective communication. Each time you say “After you,” and hold the door open for a stranger walking into a store at the same moment as you, you are modeling generosity and connection for your child.

So is this enough? Probably. But there’s an easy way to make all that you do and all that you say more than enough.

Simply help your child realize how they feel after they do something good.

That means not just teaching your child self-efficacy by assigning chores. It’s taking it one small step further by asking how your child feels about helping the family in this way. It means not just creating a self-care routine in flossing, but taking a quick moment to ask your child how it feels to be doing something for their physical well-being. Obviously, your child knows that he likes chess. But does your child know what it is about chess that he likes? The strategizing? The black and white pattern of the board and the miniature pieces? The feeling of winning?

And instead of just opening that door for the stranger at the store, it means saying afterward to your child, “Wow, that made me feel really good to do something for someone else.” Not only will you be modeling this type of thinking for your child. You’ll actually be triggering your child to think about how they feel. Hearing YOU talk about your emotions will cause your child to think about THEIRS. That’s because it’s just about impossible to hear someone talk about a sensation, without reflecting on your own experience. If someone says, “I feel cold,” our natural inclination is to check in with ourselves to see if we’re cold too. That’s built into our biology.

One of the most important protective factors we can possess on the journey towards resilience is self-awareness. And conversation is our gateway to awakening.

When kids know themselves—their needs, their strengths and weaknesses, when they know what drives them, what gets their blood flowing, as well as what gets their blood boiling—when kids understand who they really are, they’re able to set realistic goals for themselves, they are able to tend to their own needs, recognize their own limitations, and make responsible choices.

According to Thrive Global, Arianna Huffington’s company that aims to improve the well-being of people and communities, self-awareness is all about asking yourself the right questions.

When it comes to sparking self-awareness in our children, it’s all about asking them the right questions. Our job as parents is to help our kids learn to reflect on their experiences, not just have an experience.

Plus, growing our children’s self-awareness will not just help them understand themselves better. It will help you understand your child better, and along with that, it will help you connect to them better.

And perhaps you’ll never wonder if it’s “resilience” or “resiliency” again.

This post originally appeared on The Biggies Conversation Cards Blog.

After losing a brother to suicide, Devin Tomiak was driven to understand youth resiliency. Her personal mission to strengthen her relationship with her children, develop their emotional intelligence, and improve the communication skills of her whole family led her to create The Biggies Conversation Cards for elementary-aged kids.

As a mother of three, I’ve developed effective strategies over the years for how to get them excited about eating what I make. As any mom will attest, preparing three meals a day for your family is no small feat and since kids’ food preferences go through stages, exposing them to a variety of foods can be challenging — yet I believe it can happen daily. I never thought it wise to attempt to convince or bribe my kids to eat what I made. Nor did I subscribe to sneaking or being a short order cook, catering to everyone’s wants. Rather, I wanted to educate them about making good choices while making eating fun. Here are 5 ways to help get your kids to eat what you make.  

1. Two choices: Since adopting this method, I encounter significantly less negotiating and get way more interest in what ends up on everyone’s plate. Instead of announcing what we’re having for dinner, which often leads to someone feeling the need to assert control or, worse, asking the vague, what does everyone want to eat? (make your life easier and never ask that), I give a choice. For example, would you like chicken or salmon tonight? or would you prefer broccoli or rice? In reality, I’m offering two options that require the same amount of effort on my part, however my kids hear it as me giving them control over what’s for dinner. If you don’t have two good options, offer an alternative you know they won’t choose because odds are…they won’t.   

2. Keep it upbeat: Berating your child about being fussy or picky in regard to what she will and won’t eat will get you nowhere and, if it becomes a recurring conversation, could turn into a larger issue down the road. If your children see you being positive about different foods, it will make mealtime a lot more fun, relaxed and successful in the long run.   

3. Be a good role model: It’s tough to ask your child to eat their Brussels sprouts if you’re not. I avoided olives for years until I saw my daughter, Chloe, devouring them at the ripe old age of two. While I’m all about being open about food, children’s tastes take time to develop. So, when Chloe asked me if I wanted some olives I didn’t have the heart to say I didn’t like them, especially when here she was happily trying so many foods. I ate a couple, resulting in Chloe offering me olives every time she had them after that! Much to my surprise, I actually started to love them. Five years later I still remind Chloe that because of her love of olives, she turned me into an olive lover too! Ultimately, as with most parenting, good modeling and patience is a recipe for long term success.   

4. Get kids involved! When I started my organic meal delivery service, One Potato, part of our mission was to make kids better eaters by shipping meals easy enough to prepare that kids could help make them. It’s pride of ownership: when kids help make a meal, they’re excited to eat it. You can start at any age, involvement in even the smallest task pays big dividends.  

5. Menu plan: I like to give my kids a few cookbooks and sticker tabs to mark the recipes they want to see at future meals. This way we plan a menu for the month together and everyone has a special night where their choice is featured. Alternatively, give your kids a list of dishes from your own recipe arsenal and have them make their choices. Aside from being a fun, inclusive family activity, it helps you organize your schedule, shop more efficiently and cost effectively and get kids excited about what you make!   

Catherine founded Weelicious.com in 2007 as a platform for parents to expose their children to wholesome, delicious homemade food. The author of two cookbooks, Weelicious: One Family. One Meal and Weelicious Lunches: Think Outside the LunchboxCatherine launched One Potato, the first organic meal delivery kit service focused specifically on the mealtime needs of families in 2015. 

I don’t know about you, but I have had to make big adjustments to our house rules, especially screen limits since the pandemic began.  

Before COVID, my boys had limited access to social media or gaming platforms. Now, my tween and teen are connecting to peers through Instagram and playing games online with friends. I know that I am not alone. Many of my parent coaching clients with younger children have had to resort to the screen to get work done or just get a break from being with the kids 24/7. I am exhausted and worn down after seven months of pandemic parenting and I am sure you are too.

Knowing my priorities for my kids is usually how my parenting decisions are anchored. After so many months of loosening all kinds of limits with my kids I find myself questioning my everyday decisions, unmoored and far away from where I feel confident as a parent. Without this foundation, inconsistency and instability are causing stress for everyone in my house. So I asked myself, “How can I get back in touch with my parenting values when it all feels so much like a moving target?”

I decided to take out a page from my parent coach training. One exercise we often ask of parents is to describe how they envision their child as an adult. What are the most important qualities they hope to instill in them when they are all grown up? For me that’s pretty easy. I hope my boys carry forward lessons from childhood that leave them resilient, gritty and tenacious. I want them to embrace a growth mindset, engage in intentional self care and give back to their community. I wish for them the ability to give and receive unconditional love. 

After doing this brief  exercise I felt more in touch with my own guiding principles. I was able to focus my parenting decisions based on them. Each time I make a parenting decision, I know that I can fall back on these fundamental goals. I designed these four questions to make sure that my own decisions are aligned with my values when I am pushed to make decisions that are outside of my comfort zone. 

  1. Am I supporting their social emotional growth?

  2. Am I demonstrating unconditional love? 

  3. Am I supporting a growth mindset, resilience and grit?

  4. Am I modeling good self care?

So when I had to ease my rules around social media and online gaming, I know that I am actually still supporting their essential social emotional growth. And when I stay calm when they are releasing big emotions while we are all cooped up together, I am showing unconditional love. And when I need to give my child a little extra screen time so that I can get a break, I am actually modeling good self care. Even though some of our day-to-day looks and feels different, I once again feel my confidence re-emerging.   

The pandemic has been hard on parents. It has stretched us and forced us to make compromises with our kids that we never thought we would. If there is a lesson here, it is that sometimes it takes a shock to the system to rediscover what is most important to us. If you are feeling untethered from your parenting values take this time to reset. Ask yourself what are your guiding parenting principles? What questions help you stay grounded in them? Use this opportunity to find your footing and to rebuild your confidence. Keep in mind the long game, the one in which the parenting decisions you are making today, however big or small, are supporting your vision for your child as they grow into adults no matter what is going on in the world around you.

This post originally appeared on www.truenorthparentcoaching.com.

I'm Jenny Michaelson, Ph.D., PCI Certified Parent Coach®. I live in Oakland, California with my family. I love supporting parents through my practice, True North Parent Coaching. Together we uncover strengths and develop strategies to make transformational changes to overcome parenting challenges and bring more joy, ease and fun back to parenting. 

There’s nothing quite as universal as the bedtime story and its part of the wind-down routine for millions of children around the world. And one study shows that a surprising number of parents read to stories to their kids way past the preschool years. A recent study commission by Wonderbly revealed some interesting results.

Of 2000 parents surveyed, 1 out of every 10 said they have read to their children at bedtime until age 13 or even older. Only 11% said they stopped by age 4. And 15% of parents said they started reading to their babies in utero. 1/5 said they’d been reading to their littles since babyhood.

86% of parents said they love putting their kids to bed and reading or telling a story, with 36% saying it’s the most quality time they get with them all day. 8 out of 10 parents cited bedtime routines as the best part of being a parent.

And 3 in 4 parents said they wished they could NEVER stop telling their kiddos stories, with 23% actually planning to never stop.

3 in 10 parents cited loving storytime as a chance to be creative and use their imaginations.

Why read to your kids? While we know that modeling behavior like reading to, with and in front of kids fosters early literacy, there are other benefits, for parents and kids alike. Bedtime and the ritual story can be a time to connect, decompress from the day. And your kids are never too old for that.

“Storytime not only fosters a wonderful closeness but also encourages conversation and helps kids to relax,” said David Cadji-Newby, author and creative director at Wonderbly.

It also takes the top of the poll for kids as well (45%), ahead of picking out pajamas (18%) and watching TV (26%).

—Amber Guetebier

featured image: iStock

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Raising children is no small task. There is so much to consider when it comes to raising girls and boys when it comes to raising good humans. As a mom who has both a girl and a boy, I want to raise them equally to be kind, strong, caring, intelligent, well-rounded, and happy individuals. Unfortunately, society still sheds light on gender norms, roles, and perceptions and there are some key differences that I want to highlight when it comes to raising kids that may fall trap to an image-obsessed world.

In honor of International Women’s Day, a day that aims at equality and rights for all, there are ways to help shape our little girls and boys into being confident young adults and to help shield them from being obsessed with their outward appearance. What should be our focus when it comes to raising kids? When you think of a strong role model, what characteristic comes to mind?

Children Learn Through Modeling

First and foremost, children learn through modeling. Monkey see monkey do. Our kids learn how to treat their body, and other bodies, by how we treat our own. Do we use positive body talk? Do we encourage ourselves? Do we speak confidently and thankfully about our own amazing body and mind? What is our focus when we get ready for the day? Are we focusing on how we look or focusing on how we feel? These are important questions to ask ourselves because we are providing commentary that our kids are picking up on and the responses we have can impact how our own children view themselves.

Focus on Feeling

Growing up, my mother was a typical housewife that played into gender-specific roles to a tee. Even when her marriage ended and she was the sole provider, she still went back to these old school ideas on male and female roles. It never made sense to me because I viewed her as a strong woman that raised three kids solo, but her commentary was oppressive to women, to herself, and to me. When I was a kid, I remember my mom standing in front of the bathroom mirror, with all her makeup splayed out on the counter, and I would watch her put on her “Maybelline face” as she called it. As a kid, I thought it was weird and I remember asking her why she did it, she responded as many of us would respond without thinking, “because it makes me look pretty.” As I grew up, I was eager to buy and wear makeup of my own, to make me look pretty. It was not until I was an adult that I came to peace with natural beauty and to focus more on how I feel as opposed to how I look.

Appropriate Focus and Intention

What is the best way to handle all this “image stuff” without it negatively impacting the way our own children view themselves? It’s all in the focus and intention we give. Why do we choose certain clothes to dress in, or chose to put on makeup? Because it’s a choice and it’s a fun way of self-expression. Emphasizing choices, and emphasizing self-expression puts meaning on how something makes us feel as opposed to how something makes us look. Keeping our talk positive and being mindful of the vocabulary we use to describe is important. Here are 3 things to remember when it comes to providing positive talk and giving attention to the right focus:

Focusing on our children’s:

  1. Actions: what they are doing and why they are doing it. How does it make them feel?
  2. Attitudes: What type of attitude do they have? What is it adding their day and how does it make them feel?
  3. Abilities: What can they do. What do they like to do? How does it make them feel?

These three A’s will help to build a strong sense of self-confidence, self-love, and self-expression, and less focus on the image alone. After all, raising kids is an important task and being a parent comes with great responsibility. It is exciting to be apart of raising strong and confident girls and boys that will find a mighty place of their own in this world. I for one am up for the challenge.

This post originally appeared on Mama Bear Britt.

Hello! My name is Brittany and I am the creator of Mama Bear Britt! I am a child development specialist, former preschool director and mama of two littles. I am working hard to create a place for parents to gather, learn and share. Join my tribe! 

Photo: pexels

All I wanted was to walk on the treadmill for maybe…20 minutes. Is that too much to ask?

I had a great plan–I would hop on the treadmill in the basement while my son (age 2 at the time) played with the plethora of toys down there. Easy peasy.

Minute 5 rolled around and the whining began.

“Car on track…ahh.” My son couldn’t get the little Matchbox car onto the track the right way.

“I’ll help you in just a few minutes,” I said hoping he would calm down on his own. “Do it myself…urrgh, it won’t go,” my son continued. I could see the tension building but I decided the push on. really needed some exercise.

Then I heard it–a loud “clunk.” My toddler had thrown the car across the room and it had hit the wall. Crying and fussing ensued. Oops, I had missed the point of no return. We were in full-on tantrum mode.

“Remain calm,” I told myself. “He’s just frustrated.”

I try to calm him but to no avail. He pushed me away. He had to get it out. I told him to take some breaths but that just made him more upset. So I just stood by him and he eventually calmed down but it took a long time.

My “20 minutes on the treadmill” had turned into a half-hour fiasco.

This is Him

I look back at this incident now and I see–this is what it means to be a toddler. He was trying so hard to assert his independence and he is very independent by nature. “I do it myself” is a constant refrain, even now at almost-4 years old.

But…

This is Him Learning

Toddlers are often testing limits, but they do it because they are learning. They are learning new skills, new ideas and how they fit in their world.

Combine a strive for independence and limited self-regulation, you have a recipe for potential high-stress situations. As parents, it’s tough to keep a calm attitude.

Well, a recent piece of research should give you a little hope.

Researchers at the Oregon Social Learning Center recently published an article showing that parents who can keep their “cool” when their youngsters test their patience have a better chance of their kids not having behavior problems in the future.

The primary finding showed that children whose parents who have a tendency to over-react and/or are quick to get angry with them, are more likely to have more tantrums and negative behavior at age 2. Is important to note that most children increase in their tantrum-type behavior during this toddler period, but this study clearly showed that children whose parents over-reacted increased in this negative behavior more than average.

Being the Model I Want Him to See

The good news for parents is that if you can maintain your “cool” while still setting firm boundaries, you are helping your child learn emotion regulation by your example. When a child misbehaves it is tempting to react out of emotion and not think about the consequences. It is a struggle to keep your emotions contained, but if you can keep your composure and discipline the child with less intense negative emotion, the child will slowly learn how to regulate their own emotions as well. So take heart parents, we can survive those toddler years without losing our sanity.

Diffuse the Situation

Knowing my toddler was not intentionally trying to derail my workout was the first step in keeping a calm mindset. Most of the time, these little ones are not trying to “push your buttons” or make you upset on purpose.

Knowledge is power: if you understand what is typical for toddler behavior, it makes it easier to take it in stride (at least most of the time). If we know that they act irrationally and have little self-control, that helps us remain in control.

The “golden rule” still applies to grownups: it may sound simplistic but the old rule of “treat others how you would like to be treated” still applies to toddler-parent interactions (at least to some degree). We are modeling behavior for our kids with every action. If I yell at my toddler (which we all do from time to time), then we are modeling anger. However, if the other 90% of the time, we model compassion, patience, and self-regulation, they will eventually learn this.

Ultimately, we are teaching our kids how to treat us. It takes years modeling, growth, and maturity, but they will get the hang of it eventually.

In the meantime, hang on for a wild ride, and maybe get that walk on the treadmill while he’s napping.

Amy is a scholar turned stay-at-home mom of two young boys. When she's not stepping on Legos, she writes at The Thoughtful Parent. With this blog she brings child development research into the lives of parents in the trenches of child-rearing.

As a parent, grandparent and educator, I am fascinated by the interactions of parents and their children. When I travel to New York for work several times a month, I have lots of opportunities for fieldwork as I make my way from Manhattan to Brooklyn. There are families with young children everywhere! 

While venturing out for a long walk this past Saturday morning with my husband, Mark, I witnessed a father and his young son negotiating how the child would walk across the street. Actually, negotiating is the wrong word, because the parent was very clear that there was only one way to get to the other side… holding hands.

As those of you who have struggled with the independent child who is not a hand holder know, a situation like this—where a child’s safety is at stake—can be especially challenging,

Pedestrian accidents are a leading cause of death and trauma in young children and it is a matter that parents and caregivers should be informed and clear about.

Children should be taught from a very early age about street safety.  Modeling actions and saying the words out loud, “Stop, look (left, right and left again) and listen” should be part of every stroll when young children are out walking. As well as learning to recognize a cross-walk or as it is known in some places, a zebra crossing (kids love that!) And no one’s going to like this part: holding hands is an absolute imperative. 

Children are impulsive and even those children who run ahead and seem to always stop when they get to the corner, cannot be trusted to not dash out for a ball or shiny coin or some other distraction. Children under the age of 7 do not have the cognitive, perceptual or behavioral skills to be trusted not to act quickly and impulsively in certain situations. According to the American Academy of Pediatrics, children up to the age of 10 are not developmentally capable of judging the distance and speed of cars.

An Academy study showed that parent’s expectations of their child’s ability to assess street safety were not in line with their developmental ability and in most cases, parents overestimated their child’s ability to correctly judge safety situations.

Everything about parenting is a balancing act. Reinforcing your child’s independence while keeping them safe and healthy is just another example of the daily challenges all parents face. But, just like the use of a car seat or seat belt, pedestrian safety should not be negotiable.  

I will add that in addition to modeling good street safe behavior, including not walking and texting or looking at your phone, you can have a conversation with your child about how to be safe before venturing out. That’s what good nursery school teachers do before every outing, whether it’s moving from the classroom to the gym, or venturing out to the neighborhood park.   

When parents at our school were surveyed about the pluses and minuses of using the local city park for our outdoor play, many parents cited going to the nearby park as a positive because in addition to being a great park for fresh air and physical activity, their children through their daily walks to the park had become better at street safety; holding hands and knowing what to do at each street crossing.

The father that I witnessed while strolling through Brooklyn, reminded his whining and resistant child, in a kind but firm voice, that the rule was that you hold hands when crossing the street. No discussion. The child didn’t like it, complained loudly, but got to the other side of an extremely busy street safely.

I restrained myself from approaching this father and congratulating him on his clarity and success. But what I witnessed reminded me of the importance of this issue. Safe travels!

This post originally appeared on www.littlefolksbigquestions.com.

I am a parent and grandparent with over four decades of experience in early childhood education. I share my passion, wisdom and experience, with parents and the people who care for and about children at Little Folks Big Questions, where we're out to answer the questions parents face in today's world.