From being an early riser to having several birthstones, people with a December birthday are a special bunch
Being a December baby can sometimes feel like a downer because birthdays can get forgotten in the holiday rush. But the truth is that people with a December birthday are impossible to overlook. While being born in November isn’t very common, December babies (especially those born on Dec. 25) are some of the rarest of them all. Here are some attributes you might not know about your December baby.
iStock
Late December Birthdays Are Rare
It might be a celebratory distraction to be born on a big holiday, like Christmas, but the truth is it’s very rare to be born on Dec. 25, which makes those birthdays pretty special. In fact, Christmas Day is the least likely day of the year to be born, ranking at 366th with just over 6,500 births on average. Dec. 24 is also a rare one, ranking at 364th, and Dec. 26 comes in at 361st.
Some December Baby Names Are Related to the Holidays (but Not All)
While some December baby names are related to the holidays (think Joesph, Eve, Noelle, Nicolas), according to Nameberry, other names to give babies born in the last month of the year range from those inspired by light (Lucien) and December's flower (Narcissa, Holly), to the Winter Solstice (Talvi), and good fortune (Felix).
They're Less Moody As Adults
While we can’t make any guarantees when it comes to those terrible twos (and threes), according to research, people with a December birthday are less irritable as adults than those born in other months. A Hungarian study found that those born in the winter months, like December, were least likely to suffer from mood swings. So while the weather might be chilly outside when your December baby is born, expect to get a lot of warmth from these little charmers as they get older.
iStock
They’re Bold Explorers
With all this talk of birthdays, you might ask, what is the zodiac sign for people born in December? Babies born before Dec. 21 are ruled by Sagittarius, the archer, meaning that you can expect wisdom, determination, and a bold attitude. These spitfires are also known being adventurous travelers, so get your world map ready. If their birthday comes after Dec. 21, that makes them a Capricorn. Represented by the goat, this zodiac sign for December implies that your baby will be ambitious and highly disciplined while also good-natured. So, in other words, they have a great work ethic.
They're Rich in Birthstones
What is December's birthstone? Lucky for December babies, they have four beautiful blue-hued gems to choose from if you include the blue topaz. The topaz is known for its sparkle, variety of colors, and affordability (a win-win for birthday gifts), although some history and jewelry experts argue that blue topaz does not represent December. Even if that's the case, you're still left with three gorgeous gems: the calming and ever-popular turquoise, the unique purple-blue tanzanite, and the blue-green zircon (said to be one of the oldest materials on earth).
iStock
They’re the Head of the Class
Depending on what your school entry cut-offs are, your December baby is either one of the youngest in the class or the oldest. Either way, they are on track to be one of the brightest. While some studies show that kids who are the oldest in their class are more successful in academics, other research has shown that being the youngest also has an advantage by the time kids prepare to graduate high school, with the youngest outperforming their older classmates by the time they are applying for college. Either way, it's a win.
They’re Early Risers
A study of human circadian rhythms found that those born in winter months, including December, were more likely to be morning people, which means at least you’ll face a smiling tot when you’re up at the crack of dawn. Better still, other similar studies found that those born during the same season were more likely to go to bed earlier, which means more me-time for mom and a more efficient schedule going forward.
Some famous December babies include Walt Disney, Beethoven, and Jane Austen. Do you like movies and television? There's a VIP list filled with celebrities born in December such as actresses Lucy Liu, Amanda Seyfried, and Julianne Moore, as well as film director Judd Apatow. Mckayla Maroney and Gabby Douglas, two Team USA Gymnastics gold medalists, were born in December. Dec. 30 alone marks the birthdate of several iconic baseball players in history including Sandy Koufax, Frank Torre, and Jose Morales.
Ever wonder how your sign and your child’s zodiac sign stack up? Similar to those classic partner astrology compatibility charts, this one takes a look at how you and your progeny likely get on. This particular version is based on sun signs—how you see yourself, the person you are becoming, and your general personality. Of course, nurture has plenty to do with your bond, but the stars have their own way of aligning things. (P.S. If you’re curious how the next year is going to play out for you and your little one, dig a bit deeper into the toddler zodiac).
Note: Chart is read as Child X Parent
The Aries Child
Aries X Aries: Lots of feisty energy in this combo! You can embrace your inner child together, but it is very important to work through aggression and impulsiveness. Be the model for your little one.
Aries X Taurus: Your job is to keep your impulsive Aries kiddo on track. Aries have lots of passionate beginnings, but often burn out their energy before seeing things through. You are the perfect guide to teach them how to do so.
Aries X Gemini: It will always be important for you two to keep an open line of communication. You guys are a fun pair who love to socialize. You will always have lots of friends and events to go to, keeping you busy.
Aries X Cancer: You are here to nurture your Aries kid's inner child (we know how that sounds). Let them play and enjoy life. Don’t forget to get in on the action—they’ll love to have you in the pretend play mix.
Aries X Leo: Such a lively parent and child pair! You guys are the life of the party wherever you go. Your challenge will be managing both of your fiery personalities and learning to keep your cool.
Aries X Virgo: You have a little firecracker on your hands, Virgo! You can keep calm and cool in most situations, and it’s your job to help your impulsive Aries child learn to do the same.
Aries X Libra: Your Aries child will be your BFF. While they love to do things independently, your gentle guidance and peace-keeping ability will come in handy when they get hot-tempered.
Aries X Scorpio: Your Aries child is here to remind you of your inner child—you are still a kid at heart, after all! Enjoy these times with them as they won’t stay this little forever.
Aries X Sagittarius: The “dynamic duo” of the parent and child world. Sagittarius loves to learn and teach, and Aries is the eternal child, always seeking some loving guidance. No better person to share your wisdom with!
Aries X Capricorn: Your Aries kid may struggle to complete or stay focused on tasks. Good thing you are skilled at helping them see the bigger picture and encouraging them to not give up to get there.
Aries X Aquarius: Talk about two people who love their freedom! You both need room to explore and be yourselves. You will always have each other to do this with.
Aries X Pisces: This little firecracker kiddie will spark something in you, Pisces! Teach them to get in touch with their creative side and express themselves.
The Taurus Child
Taurus X Taurus: You will fully understand each other but just cannot be rushed. You two can experience life together through your senses: good food, sensory play, nature time and lots of creating art.
Taurus X Gemini: As quick as you are, Gemini, you cannot rush your Taurus little. You have to respect not only their time, but that they truly only want to do things once and do them right. While you like lots of options, they do not. You must learn to work with that.
Taurus X Cancer: A very loving and affectionate duo you two are. You know just how to comfort your Taurus little, something they seek a lot. You are truly their caretaker, and they love every minute of it.
Taurus X Leo: Your Taurus kid will always be teaching you how to take your time and be more grounded. You both enjoy the finer things in life—this will be your foodie BFF for life.
Taurus X Virgo: You are both practical, hard-working and down-to-earth. And you both prefer life to be easygoing and chill. Together you can take adventures to push you out of your comfort zones.
Taurus X Libra: Both of your ruling planets are Venus. You will find your Taurus kid loving all the pretty and shiny things, just like you. Together you will see the world through rose-colored glasses.
Taurus X Scorpio: While the Scorpio parent can be a bit intense, your Taurus little will teach you how to ground your emotions! But be careful, you can both be on the stubborn side. Don’t let it get the best of you.
Taurus X Sagittarius: Your Taurus kid is here to teach you some patience. You will learn they will do everything on their own time and you cannot rush them.
Taurus X Capricorn: You are here to teach your Taurus tot a bit about flexibility as they can be a bit reluctant to move! No better person than you, a sign who can move mountains.
Taurus X Aquarius: Your Taurus kid tends to stay in their comfort zone, but you, the Aquarius parent, like to push limits. Teaching them to try new things (safely) will always be your job.
Taurus X Pisces: Your Taurus kid is very practical, while you are a bit more dreamy. They are meant to show you grounding and stability, things that you probably crave.
Taurus X Aries: Opposites attract: As an Aries parent, you are really good at getting things started, and your Taurus kid has the endurance to help you see things through. Don’t rush your little one, though. We know how fast you can be, Aries.
The Gemini Child
Gemini X Gemini: THE ACTUAL TWINS! You two will be the social host and hostesses with the mostesses. It is important to work through indecisiveness together as well as nurture their sharp wit.
Gemini X Cancer: Your Gemini babe needs to be out and about socializing to thrive, while you are more of a homebody. Always remember to give them choices and let them have lots of fun. It’s okay if they don't want to be at home much—you need to get out, too.
Gemini X Leo: There might be a little bit of drama associated with this duo. Leo is so outstanding, and the Gemini kiddo loves to initiate the fun. You two will never have a dull moment.
Gemini X Virgo: Both signs are ruled by Mercury, meaning you will be one very busy pair! Nobody will ever question your abilities to get stuff done. You live by lists and schedules and always support each other in completing your to-dos.
Gemini X Libra: Talk about a fashionable parent and child pair. You two are always on point in the fashion department and tend to set the trends.
Gemini X Scorpio: Your Gemini kid is going to show you how to be a bit lighter, Scorpio. They have a fun, lighthearted air that will do you some good.
Gemini X Sagittarius: Together you two are meant to explore the world and learn through experience. Your Gemini kid will be your favorite person to go on trips with, meet new people and even try new foods with. You’ll cherish the memories.
Gemini X Capricorn: Your Gemini child will teach you how to communicate in so many ways! Their openness and intelligence will inspire you, and their wit will keep you on your toes.
Gemini X Aquarius: This parent/child combo are the networking masters. They can befriend anyone. Put them on a playground, and they’ll come back with a whole new group of BFFs.
Gemini X Pisces: You two have very different modes of communication. Your Gemini’s quick intelligence and gift of gab will seriously impress you and inspire you to find your inner voice.
Gemini X Aries: The social butterflies! You two will make lots of friends and wow any crowd. Communication will be the foundation of your relationship.
Gemini X Taurus: It will be your job to ground your flighty little Gemini and help them make decisions, as they often struggle with indecisiveness. Always offer them a set of options: Making that choice helps them feel more secure.
The Cancer Child
Cancer X Cancer: The emotions run high with this pair. You are both sensitive and intuitive. It is your task to teach your little—and yourself—not to be scared to face things head on rather than side-stepping through life like the Cancer crab.
Cancer X Leo: The Leo parent is tasked with nurturing their little Moonchild is a very big way. Your child will appreciate you showering them with both attention and affection.
Cancer X Virgo: The Virgo parent will always be the one who helps, and the Cancer kid loves the extra attention and guidance. While the Virgo parent will teach them how to analyze everything, the Cancer child will teach them to feel the feels.
Cancer X Libra: One of the sweetest and most loving duos. Libras nurture in their own very special way, and the Cancer kid eats that up. Libra is probably the best to guide them through all their emotions.
Cancer X Scorpio: You two ride emotional waves as water signs. You are both empathic and sensitive and can pick up on each other's moods nonverbally. You have a very special, almost psychic connection.
Cancer X Sagittarius: The Sag parent will have to teach the Cancer child that it’s safe to leave home and explore. The Cancer child will show the Sag parent that being home is necessary, too, and can even be fun.
Cancer X Capricorn: The Capricorn parent is tasked with balancing both their career and home life, as Cap is associated with work life. No better kiddo than the family-oriented Cancer kid to show you how to be the CEO Soccer Mom/Dad.
Cancer X Aquarius: Your Cancer kid is sweet, kind and emotional, and it will melt your heart, Aquarius. You will be singing the tune: “I never knew there was a love like this before”.
Cancer X Pisces: You are both on the more sensitive side and enjoy the comfort of your home. Create a home that is like your castle, so you will both always feel safe and secure.
Cancer X Aries: You have a sensitive and emotional little one on your hands. Family is of the utmost importance to them. With your noble spirit, you provide them that comfort and safety they so crave.
Cancer X Taurus: You two thrive at home. Lots of family time, honoring your inner nurturers and snuggling up together. There isn’t a sweeter pair.
Cancer X Gemini: While you might like to be the social butterfly, your Cancer little is a bit more of a homebody. You two can balance each other out and find harmony in this. Make sure you get your Moonchild out of the house and they will make sure you enjoy restorative time at home.
Leo X Leo: Another feisty and fiery pair! Together you two know how to bring the sass and the fun—you’re always a good time to be around.
Leo X Virgo: You two will always motivate and encourage each other to be your very best. You are each other's biggest fans.
Leo X Libra: You two are a pair that catches the eye no matter where you go. The Leo child will always shine bright, and the Libra parent is always so put-together. We see you.
Leo X Scorpio: This is a pair that knows how to bring the intensity! Scorpio is quite fiery for a water sign, so the emotions and dramatics can run a bit high. Be wary of mood swings and work on staying level-headed together.
Leo X Sagittarius: Your Leo will be your loving little lion cub, Sag. They will always respect and admire your wisdom and want to learn from you. They are the best little protege.
Leo X Capricorn: While the Capricorn parent may seem on the conservative or classic side, the Leo kid is going to break that chain with their sass and golden auras. They are something else, and you will love it.
Leo X Aquarius: You both exude bravery and confidence. You will be okay with your Leo little testing limits because you were once that person, too. You’ve got this, Aquarius.
Leo X Pisces: Having a child that isn't scared of the limelight is kind of inditimating to you, Pisces. You can learn a thing or two from their fearlessness. Let them show you how to be brave.
Leo X Aries: Talk about a passionate pair! Your Leo child will love the spotlight, especially with your encouraging nature. Just watch the dramatics—two fire signs can be quite extra.
Leo X Taurus: Oh Taurus, your little Leo is going to give you a run for your money. You just gotta love ‘em, though—they will always be bold, brave and outstanding. Always try to nurture their inner performer and they will thrive.
Leo X Gemini: Your little Leo wants alllll of your attention. It is important you take the time to stop the millions of things you do and give them some undivided time. They thrive when they know they have their parents all to themselves.
Leo X Cancer: Your Leo child is going to get you out of your shell. You can learn a thing or two from them by watching them own the spotlight.
The Virgo Child
Virgo X Virgo: You two appear to be quiet and reserved, but you're both just taking in your environment and other people. You are here to remind one another that perfection does not exist and to take it easy once in a while.
Virgo X Libra: Both the Libra parent and the Virgo kid thrive when their spaces are clean, uncluttered and harmonious. It suits you both to be on the minimal and organized side as chaos is neither of your jams.
Virgo X Scorpio: You both really love learning and have a laser focus. (I see lots of time spent watching documentaries and going to museums in your future.) Your Virgo’s ability to break down information to better understand it will truly impress you.
Virgo X Sagittarius: While your Virgo kid is excellent at mastering the details and breaking down everything to understand it, you can show them the bigger picture so they aren't so fussy. Teach them to be more easygoing, as they can be a little uptight.
Virgo X Capricorn: A more serious pair, you two are here to learn how to have some fun together! Life needs to have some play mixed in with all the work, after all. Learn to let go.
Virgo X Aquarius: Your Virgo kid's mind works quite differently than yours, Aquarius. Observe them, guide them and ask yourself what you can learn from them.
Virgo X Pisces: The Pisces brain is imaginative, while the Virgo brain is analytical. You are the best person to teach them to see beyond the facts, as well as not to beat themselves up over perfection.
Virgo X Aries: You two have a knack for getting stuff done. You really know how to take initiative and your little Virgo loves to take things apart, analyze and perfect. The last thing anyone would call you two is lazy.
Virgo X Taurus: You are a pair of two very grounded, down-to-earth Earth signs. Teach your little Virgo not to be so hard on themselves and remember not to set unattainable standards or goals for them—they really beat themselves up.
Virgo X Gemini: Two Mercurial planets aligned. While the Gemini parent is one busy bee, having a solid schedule is what will help your Virgo little thrive. Setting routines and sticking to them (yes, Gemini) will be best for you both.
Virgo X Cancer: While you are very into your feelings, your Virgo kid is more analytical. You feel; they think. You can each teach each other something about one another.
Virgo X Leo: You two are both ambitious go-getters. While the Leo parent is here to teach the Virgo child not to be so hard on themselves, the Virgo kid will actually teach the Leo parent all about minimalism and structure.
The Libra Child
Libra X Libra: The Libra parent and Libra child are another pair of besties. Libra thrives in partnerships, and there is no bond stronger than that of parent and child.
Libra X Scorpio: The Scorpio parent can be a little impatient, but your Libra child’s even and peaceful temperament will help you learn to be more mindful. They will show you how to handle things with grace.
Libra X Sagittarius: Your Libra tot loves to do everything with you. While a Sagittarius prides themself on their independence, having your Libra along for the ride brightens your world.
Libra X Capricorn: Your Libra kid is literally going to show you the beauty of life. Because of them, you will find yourself noticing every flower, sparkle, seashell and color that you were probably letting pass by before. Soak it in.
Libra X Aquarius: A pair that enjoys intelligent conversation and are equally as charming. That little Libra will win your heart and be the best baby date you’ll ever have!
Libra X Pisces: This pair is another undercover super combo! You are two of the kindest and most loving of the signs—you will just get along famously.
Libra X Aries: This combo of sister signs is like yin and yang. Where you will always be teaching your Libra independence, they will teach you the importance of relying on others, too. You two will always balance each other out.
Libra X Taurus: Two Venus-ruled signs with a love of beautiful things. Whether it’s fashion, art, interior design or jewelry. . . together you two will make this world a more aesthetically pleasing place.
Libra X Gemini: Your Libra little is your BFF, your road dog, the child who will care for you when you are sick and not put you in a home when you are old. You’ve got each other for life.
Libra X Cancer: Such an ideal pair! Libra kids love nothing more than being with their parents, and there is nothing more that a Cancer parent loves than being a parent.
Libra X Leo: Both of these signs have a certain love for love. Your Libra offspring will be very attached to you the more you shower them with love. And let’s face it, you both love the attention.
Libra X Virgo: Virgo, you are being tasked with encouraging your Libra little to be a bit more independent. Show them by example—let them know they can do hard things alone.
The Scorpio Child
Scorpio X Scorpio: Whenever we see the same sign, we know you are meant to be each other’s mirror: the good, the bad, the ups, the downs and all that comes with it. You will always be this to each other.
Scorpio X Sagittarius: You both share a deep love of learning. You are tasked with showing them how to lighten up and let go a little. These little ones are intense, but your optimism is contagious.
Scorpio X Capricorn: The Capricorn parent can be very calm, which is something your intense Scorpio child will need from you. Show them how to manage their emotions, leading by example with your cool, collected ways.
Scorpio X Aquarius: Aquarius and Scorpio are two who will fight to the death for a good cause. There is no better parent than Aquarius to teach a Scorpio kid humanitarianism at such a young age.
Scorpio X Pisces: The funny thing about this combo is you both need a lot of rest! You pick up on each other’s emotions very easily, so it is important to conserve (and restore) your energy.
Scorpio X Aries: Now this is a case of true opposites, but both sprinkled with sass. While Aries is bold and outgoing; Scorpio is much more secretive and introverted. Learning to respect each other’s way of being will be to your highest good.
Scorpio X Taurus: Where you are grounded and stable, your Scorpio little is a bit of a mystery to you. Teaching them trust is the biggest thing you can do for them. Embrace their love for learning and they will teach you in return.
Scorpio X Gemini: The intensity of a Scorpio little might be a bit much for you as such an easygoing Gem, but you guys are meant to be each other’s mirror. You will show them how to be lighthearted, and they will teach you to have some depth.
Scorpio X Cancer: While you are both quite empathic and emotional, you must nurture their deep little souls and show them what love truly is. You earn love with these littles.
Scorpio X Leo: You two will be each other’s greatest lessons. The Leo parent will help the Scorpio child to be more extroverted, and the Scorpio little can teach the Leo parent a few things about privacy and spending time alone.
Scorpio X Virgo: Nothing gets by either one of you! A kid will NOT put up with white lies or bribes, a Virgo parent can analyze anything you say to them. We wouldn’t mess with this team.
Scorpio X Libra: Fairness will always be very important to you both. Keep that in mind when parenting your Scorpio kid, who might have a tendency to be a bit extreme.
The Sagittarius Child
Sagittarius X Sagittarius: You and your little Sag will want to have the spotlight so get ready to share. Teach them the wisdom of your years and get re-invigorated with their zest for life.
Sagittarius X Capricorn: You have a fun-loving and joyful little kiddo on your hands, though they can sometimes be a wild one. Where they are spirited, you are peaceful. Where they are extra, you are grounded. No better parent to teach them boundaries in these situations.
Sagittarius X Aquarius: You two are so similar yet so different. Your Sagittarius little will teach you how to enjoy life a bit more and not take everything so seriously.
Sagittarius X Pisces: The ideas are just endless with the Pisces parent and Sag child. Your Sag kid's ability to focus on the big picture will inspire your imagination. No limit to what you can create together.
Sagittarius X Aries: While both are fire signs, Sagittarius has that free spirit streak that might make a controlling Aries a little crazy. Encourage them to be who they are and let them be free.
Sagittarius X Taurus: Your little Sag is probably always on the go. They want to explore and, in the future, travel. While you are more of a homebody, it is important they always get to spread their wings with a loving home to return to.
Sagittarius X Gemini: Another profound set of sister signs. Together you will explore the world, learn about different cultures, be fearless in trying new things and grow through experience. You have a beautiful journey ahead.
Sagittarius X Cancer: While your Sag kid is the happiest baby on the block, they might not be as affectionate as you are. Doesn’t mean they don’t love you. They just need to be free to express their love in their own way.
Sagittarius X Leo: Meet your match, Leo! Your Sag kid will out-spunk you, outwit you and out-drama you. But you’ll have the best time together, as they are a tough kid to stay mad at.
Sagittarius X Virgo: Your Sagittarius little one will teach you to see the bigger picture, while it will always be your job to teach them to slow down and not overlook the details.
Sagittarius X Libra: You two are both such good-natured souls. Libra, you like to operate in a pair or partnership, while your Sag kiddo is quite independent. You have to give them that space they need to grow.
Sagittarius X Scorpio: You are the pair who is ready for an adventure. Your Sagittarius tot will happily lead you places you always wanted to go, but now you get to share these magical experiences through their joyous hearts.
Capricorn X Capricorn: A sure set of old souls who found each other. You will always be your Capricorn child's teacher, and they, the consummate overachievers—yep, even as little ones. They will continue to make you proud as they grow.
Capricorn X Aquarius: This duo will be each other’s greatest lesson. Your Capricorn child will teach you hard work and discipline and you will teach them how to let go and have fun.
Capricorn X Pisces: It might surprise you to have a child who seems like a little adult. Encourage them to play and be a kid through creative activities.
Capricorn X Aries: Strong-willed is the theme for you both. You’re hard workers and goal-oriented individuals—together you can take over the world.
Capricorn X Taurus: You are both extremely hard-working, so it’s important you remember to play and enjoy life. You share similar qualities of patience, calmness and loyalty. This babe will be your best friend for life.
Capricorn X Gemini: You are here to help your little old soul Cappy be less serious and somber and to have some fun. In return, they will teach you how to focus on your goals, see the bigger picture and be a bit less flaky.
Capricorn X Cancer: You are here to love on these little old souls. While they teach you the importance of hard work, you teach them how to love and nurture.
Capricorn X Leo: The Leo parent loves their role as the leader of the pack, and their Capricorn child is the perfect little cub. They appreciate a parent that will always protect and guide them.
Capricorn X Virgo: This is a pair that has success written all over them. Your Capricorn little is always the first to reach their milestones, and you couldn’t be prouder.
Capricorn X Libra: These two signs may seem quite different, but you’re both Cardinal signs, which means you are the pioneers. You’re the first to get things started and spark ideas. You are both natural-born leaders, and others will always turn to you.
Capricorn X Scorpio: The two old souls of the Zodiac! It must feel like you’ve known each other for lifetimes, and you probably do. You two are one of the most unlikely peas in a pod, but that you are.
Capricorn X Sagittarius: You two are another ambitious and motivated duo. No one can stop you guys from achieving your dreams. You both think big, but your Capricorn kid will help you keep things a little more realistic.
The Aquarius Child
Aquarius X Aquarius: A double Aquarius, you are meant to be innovative leaders. Together you will show the world a better way and to be more open-minded and kindhearted.
Aquarius X Pisces: Your Aquarius kid is a love, but it probably amazes you they aren't as emotional as you are. Aquarius are known to have a good grip on this. Perhaps they are here to teach you the same.
Aquarius X Aries: The Aquarius child is truly an individual. They have a secret superpower of staying calm in the tensest of situations, and this will come in handy with the passionate and impulsive Aries parent.
Aquarius X Taurus: Your Aquarius kid loves freedom—and loves to test you. Stay cool, Taurus. They do it because they love you. Patience is a virtue, especially in this duo.
Aquarius X Gemini: “Let’s get weird” should be this pairing's motto. The weirder, the better and certainly, the more fun. Embrace the odd and silly side of life together. You’ll have way more fun than conforming to the norm.
Aquarius X Cancer: Cancer parents, you have to love having an unconventional kiddo. You want to love all over them, but they just want to do their thing. Give them space—they’ll still always need your support.
Aquarius X Leo: A pair of rebels! You both love doing your own thing and not being told what to do. You two show the world it’s okay to march to the beat of your own drum.
Aquarius X Virgo: Your Aquarius kid is here to shake up your routine. While the Virgo parent likes schedules and order, the Aquarius child learns differently. Let them do their own thing.
Aquarius X Libra: The Libra parent is tasked with teaching the freedom-seeking Aquarius child some boundaries. It may seem the Aquarius little is fearless; encourage them to be brave while being cautious.
Aquarius X Scorpio: The Scorpio parent and Aquarius kid weren’t born to fit in. They were born to break molds and shock everyone. You are both humanitarians at heart, and we can’t wait to watch you make waves.
Aquarius X Sagittarius: Meet your mini-me, Sagittarius. Your Aquarius kid will walk your walk and talk your talk! It will always be a trip to see how much they remind you of yourself.
Aquarius X Capricorn: Your Aquarius kid may be quite the rebel. Where you relish control and order, they love to have their freedom. You two will always be figuring out this balance.
The Pisces Child
Pisces X Pisces: We can only imagine the creativity coming out of this Pisces/Pisces pair. You two inspire others and are the muses of this world.
Pisces X Aries: Encourage your dreamy Pisces babe through their creative streak. Show them to have courage and always stand tall. They will always lean on you for this kind of support.
Pisces X Taurus: What a creative pair you two are. It will be your job to help your emotional Pisces babe get a handle on those feelings and express them through art, music and other creative outlets.
Pisces X Gemini: Together you two will need to discover grounding. You’re both big dreamers, but you often drift from reality. Learn to use your imaginations but also come back to the real world.
Pisces X Cancer: You are the perfect parent to nurture the emotional needs of the Pisces little one. They crave your love, caring and attention. Lots of hugs and snuggles with this duo.
Pisces X Leo: You two share common ground in needing to express yourself through your creative side. Encourage your Pisces kid to explore the arts and watch them flourish.
Pisces X Virgo: You two are here to balance each other out. A Pisces kid will teach the structured, analytical Virgo parent how to go with the flow and be more creative.
Pisces X Libra: You will always be your Pisces kid’s safe space because you provide fairness and harmony in every environment. Pisces kiddos need lots of security and reassurance, and you are the perfect parent for that.
Pisces X Scorpio: Your Pisces little one is certainly a sweetheart. They will warm your heart with their loving and tender ways. You’ll be butter to their charm.
Pisces X Sagittarius: Your Pisces child will teach you how to express your creative side. While they may seem more geared toward the arts and you toward wisdom, you still love to learn, especially from them.
Pisces X Capricorn: You two may seem like the odd couple—the business-orientated Capricorn parent and the dreamy, imaginative Pisces child. But you are each here to teach the other your ways.
Pisces X Aquarius: A Pisces child views the world through rose-colored glasses, while the Aquarius parent is a bit more of a realist. They will teach you to use your imagination more than ever before.
Whether you’re avoiding germs outside your home or you’re the one who’s sick, here’s how to help your baby stay healthy
A few weeks ago, my one-year-old and I flew to visit family out of state. The trip there was relatively smooth, save for a tricky leaky diaper situation, but a couple of days into our stay my throat started to feel like it was lined with sandpaper and I knew that my first cold of the season was officially here. There’s never a “good” time to have a cold, but I hated the prospect of a rockier return flight if my daughter caught it and had to suffer through congestion and painful ear pressure on the plane. As a nurse, I went into germ-prevention mode to avoid getting her sick—and with a lot of diligence (and a little luck), it worked! (As a reward, she treated me to an uneventful ride home.)
Since newborn immune systems aren’t completely mature, they’re especially vulnerable to becoming very ill with viruses that are annoying but otherwise harmless in older kids and adults. When it comes to keeping babies safe from the season’s nastiest respiratory viruses, the good news is you probably already learned some of the key advice when you brought yours home from the hospital: Wash your hands often, pop a bottle of hand sanitizer by the door for visitors, and don’t let anyone who’s ill hang with your baby. But what if you’re the one who’s sick and you still have to take care of them?
As a nurse and mom, I’ve seen how taking a few extra proactive steps can protect your little ones from colds and other respiratory viruses like RSV, COVID-19, and the flu, even as they age out of the danger zone. Whether the germs are inside or outside your house, here are some of the most common viruses and what I recommend to keep them at bay.
Canva
Which respiratory viruses are most common in babies?
Respiratory viruses are spread by droplets that are released into the air when a sick person coughs or sneezes. We become sick when the virus enters our respiratory tract through either direct person-to-person contact, by breathing in infected droplets, or by touching a contaminated object and then touching the mucous membranes on our face such as our eyes, nose, and mouth.
Common Cold
Many cases of the common cold result from a rhinovirus infection. For babies, the symptoms of a cold and those of more serious illnesses can look the same at first. If your baby is less than 3 months old, cold symptoms or a fever of 100.4 degrees Fahrenheit or higher warrants an immediate call to the pediatrician. What to look for: Stuffy or runny nose, unusually fussy, fever.
COVID-19
COVID-19 spreads much more easily than other respiratory viruses like the cold or the flu. In addition to coughs or sneezes, respiratory droplets can also spread from talking or singing. While kids aren’t as likely as adults to become very ill with COVID-19, some do end up in the hospital with respiratory support from a ventilator. What to look for: Fever, cough, extreme tiredness, nausea, diarrhea.
RSV
RSV stands for respiratory syncytial virus and is especially dangerous if your baby is less than 6 months old. This is because if they catch it, their first symptom may be apnea, which means they take long pauses in breathing, causing their oxygen level to drop. Babies with RSV are often hospitalized because they require medical care and oxygen support until the infection resolves. What to look for: Apnea, runny nose, cough, and sometimes a fever.
Flu
The flu is caused by influenza viruses and, as with RSV, your newborn can become much sicker than if you or an older kid were to catch it. The flu increases newborns’ risk of developing more serious respiratory complications such as pneumonia or apnea. What to look for: Cold symptoms like cough, fever, and runny or stuffy nose. Can also include sleepiness, vomiting, diarrhea, fussiness, and trouble consoling baby.
Remember, you are the expert on your baby’s behavior and disposition. With any illness, if you feel that something isn’t right, don’t hesitate to contact your healthcare provider for guidance. Symptoms that require immediate medical attention include breathing much faster than usual, retractions (the muscles around their ribs pull in with each breath), wheezing, or lips or skin that is a bluish color.
iStock
Tips for preventing the spread of respiratory viruses:
As your child gets older, getting sick becomes inevitable—especially when they start daycare. But if your baby is brand new, or you just want to try to limit how much your family is home sick this flu season, here are some things you can do to keep respiratory viruses at bay.
I like to think about giving my baby a bath when I’m washing my hands. If I simply dipped her in the tub, dabbed on some soap, and then rinsed her off, she’d still be kinda dirty. To effectively reduce the spread of germs, you’ll want to work up a good sudsy lather. Soap contains ingredients that lift dirt and disease-causing germs from your skin. These unwelcomed guests are then rinsed down the drain. Your goal is to create friction as you carefully clean all parts of your hands while singing “Happy Birthday” twice to yourself. This gives you the recommended time (20 seconds) to get your hands adequately clean. After a good rinse, be sure to dry your hands well because germs are transferred more easily if they are still damp.
If soap and water aren’t handy, using hand sanitizer with at least 60% alcohol can help prevent the spread of certain germs. Use enough to wet all surfaces of your hands and rub them together, again for 20 seconds, until they are dry. Good hand hygiene at the right time is crucial to preventing the spread of germs, especially after touching public surfaces or blowing your nose if you’re the one who’s ill. Make sure your hands are clean before touching your baby’s face around their eyes, nose, or mouth. Remember, respiratory viruses love those mucous membranes.
2. Stop the droplets however you can.
Avoiding sick people is a good idea in general, and if you’re the one who’s coughing and sneezing, you can reduce the spread of germs by containing your respiratory droplets with a tissue or the inside of your elbow. But let’s be honest: when you’re caring for an infant, you don’t always have a tissue or a free elbow. As a nurse working in the hospital pre-COVID-19 times, if you had the sniffles but were otherwise healthy enough to report to work, the expectation was to wear a mask when doing direct patient care. I did this with my recent cold to keep virus-containing droplets from landing on my baby while I was holding and feeding her. If another member of your household is sick, having them wear a mask at home can help protect your baby and others in your family, particularly if they are coughing and sneezing. With sick siblings, this can be a tall order, but do your best to encourage them to cover their mouths.
iStock
3. Take advantage of current vaccinations.
Unfortunately, there isn’t an effective vaccine against the common cold because there are over 100 different kinds of rhinoviruses and each one is constantly changing. But for other respiratory viruses like COVID-19, RSV, and influenza, there are vaccines available that are a great way to reduce the spread and protect those who have a higher risk of becoming severely ill. Mothers who have immunity against these illnesses, either from receiving vaccines or from actually getting sick during pregnancy, provide passive immunity to their newborns through the placenta or breastmilk. However, this passive immunity is temporary and protection decreases after a few weeks or months. Chat with your pediatrician to better understand the benefits and risks of each vaccine and recommendations for when you and your baby should get them.
Yes, navigating the real world while shielding your baby from so many seasonal viruses can be tricky. But when used in combination, these three strategies provide a powerful defense. Whether you’re at the pediatrician’s office for your newborn’s well-baby check-up, introducing your new arrival to family and friends, or traveling with your toddler, remember how respiratory viruses spread and practice these habits to lower the likelihood of your little one getting sick.
I felt well-prepared for motherhood. I have sisters, brothers, and friends who had kids. I’ve changed diapers, held sleepovers, heated bottles, and sang Itsy-Bitsy Spider. I was aware of Dora’s propensity to shout (we get it, you like your backpack) and the vital importance of Elmo.
More importantly, I’ve listened to my friends and family talk. I knew it wasn’t all going to be serene moments of love and family bonding. I had been told that post-baby I would need giant underwear for unspeakable reasons and that my boobs would explode and teach me a new and much less sexy understanding of “wet t-shirt contest.” I was informed that there are actual creams and unguents designed to relieve cracked and bleeding nipples.
Friends told me that my marriage would suffer. More than one promised that at some point post-baby I would look over at my husband and wonder: how could I have shackled myself to such an ignorant, selfish, deep-sleeping, mouth-breathing oaf for the rest of my life?
People told me that of course I would love my baby, but I wouldn’t always like her. They said that until the baby started to smile, it was normal to view her as insanely demanding, illogical, and egotistical. Friends told me to surf the hormonal waves rather than swim against them. They explained that if I needed to sit on the couch weeping over a Humane Society ad, that was perfectly acceptable.
The refrain I heard constantly, from friends, relatives, and even books was that the first six weeks were the hardest. They said that before that six-week mark, I should simply concentrate on keeping my baby alive, myself fed, and my husband not murdered. Showers, pants with zippers, a tidy home, and adult conversation were luxuries I would forego for a little while.
All in all, I figured that I had things under control. I cruised through those first six weeks with minimal angst. I was blessed with an easy baby, tons of help, generous maternity leave, and a husband who stopped complaining about how tired he was when I explained that he could tell literally anyone else on the planet about his exhaustion, but not me.
That’s why I was stunned to find myself at week seven on the floor of my daughter’s bedroom weeping and begging her to just Go. To. Sleep. Looking back, I realize that despite all of the advice, I was as ill-prepared as any first-time parent. As illogical as it sounds, some part of me truly believed that on the 45th day, my baby would start sleeping through the night, smiling when she saw me, and feeding according to a defined schedule. I thought that I would understand her desires and be able to meet all of her needs.
My life up until that point supported my belief that I would have control. I was a professional woman who had calm conversations with colleagues, got her reports in on time, and won praise for her efforts. I had mastery over all aspects of my life (except my hair: why so frizzy, why?).
Then 7.9 pounds of contradictions arrived. When I realized that my life was entirely dependent on this tiny person’s mood swings, I panicked. I resorted to books, devouring everything from The Happiest Baby on the Block (not mine) to The Baby Whisperer (it’s hard to whisper over ear-splitting screams).
I would figure out what the “right” thing was and do it. Problem was that the books couldn’t agree on a solution. Pick up your infant so she feels loved; if you pick her up, you’ll spoil her. Feed according to your schedule; follow your baby’s internal rhythms. No one was consistent, and nothing the experts advised worked on my little girl.
The books freaked me out, and the internet was even worse. Desperately searching for information on caring for seven-week-olds, I came across countless smug parents crowing about their fabulous sleeping, fuss-free, smiling babies. What was I doing wrong?
For three nights straight, I lay in bed and couldn’t sleep. I had a seven-week-old child and I also had insomnia. Those two things should not go together, and yet there I was. My baby was sound asleep, but I was wide awake, obsessively going over my rocking technique from the day before. Did I not shush-pat enough? Had I done it too much? Did my baby feel loved? Was I smothering her? How many hours, precisely, had she slept? I kept charts and tallies. I was making myself crazy.
Finally, in desperation, one freezing winter day I bundled up the baby in her stroller and trudged through the snow to meet my friend at her work. As I neared the city’s downtown core, I began to pass well-dressed women in high-heeled boots and spit-up-free jackets. These were women who spent their days working in offices with clearly defined goals and attainable markers of success. I had been one of these women only seven short weeks ago. Now I had on sweatpants but no deodorant.
I cried the whole way there.
My friend met me for tea and sympathy. She has three kids and knew what I was going through. She listened to me rant about theories on sleep cycles, eating schedules, and attachment parenting, and when I was through, she spoke. Kathryn reminded me of our girls’ trip, years ago, to Las Vegas. On the way to the airport, I experienced my usual pre-flight anxiety: I had checked and rechecked our tickets and passports; insisted on arriving two hours early, and made Kathryn forego all pre-flight shopping so that we could be seated at the gate when our flight boarded. Left to her own devices, Kathryn would have swanned into the airport with half an hour to spare, boarding the plane at the last possible moment.
Kathryn didn’t worry about missing the plane, but she did have a massive fear of flying. The instant she boarded she tensed up. She shushed me during the in-flight safety demonstrations, ascertained the exact location of her emergency exit, and gripped the seat so hard during takeoff that she left nail marks on the armrest. I, on the other hand, was as cool as a cucumber once I sat down in my assigned seat.
When we talked about it later (after Kathryn’s Xanax had worn off), I explained why I wasn’t afraid to fly. I had done all I could. I had gotten myself to the plane on time and was sitting where I was meant to. My responsibilities were over. The flight was going to happen, and if we were going to crash, we were going to crash. The power was out of my hands, and I could chill out.
Sitting in the coffee shop with my little girl asleep in her stroller, Kathryn leaned forward. “Your baby is seven weeks old. You have no power. You have no control. She is too little. You’re not flying this plane, Amy. The baby is. All you can do is bring your seat to the upright position, make sure your seat belt is fastened, and relax and enjoy the flight.”
I don’t know why the image of my infant daughter piloting four tons of complex machinery 30,000 feet above the Earth actually comforted me. Maybe it was simply receiving permission to let go. At any rate, I managed to relax, straightened my spine, and walked home through the snow.
I didn’t crack my baby’s code right away, but that was the low point in my journey to motherhood. It was a relief to be told to go with the flow and follow my instincts. At some point in that first year, I wrested control of the plane from my daughter. I’m the pilot now… at least until she hits teenagehood.
My friends and I often discuss how parenting circles have warned us about how difficult it is to raise teenagers. However, nobody prepared us for the pre-game stage: raising tweens
As a mom of one teen, two tweens, and a first grader, I can attest that there is no easy parenting stage. Each age group of kids brings their own set of challenges. Arguably, we are the least prepared for raising tweens, who, according to The Cleveland Clinic, are also known as pre-adolescents between the ages of eight and twelve. They note these years are a “distinct developmental period not only physically, but also psychologically.” Tween behaviors often shock parents and caregivers because they’ve been told that the toddler and teen years should be the most behaviorally challenging.
We all know our kids go through growth spurts, times when it seems they cannot possibly inhale enough food. Other times, they seem to live on light snacks. Though a tween’s eating habits are expected to ebb and flow, any drastic and long-standing changes should cause parents to pause. A child who seems to be counting calories, who refuses to eat dinner with the family, or who seems to be sneaking food and binging isn’t healthy. According to Dr. Jones, obsessing over food, avoiding food, or consuming far more or less than usual can be signs of depression, an eating disorder, or another physical health problem.
Drastic interest changes.
Your child couldn’t get enough baseball but suddenly wants to quit their team, pack up all their baseball memorabilia, and stop wearing their baseball graphic tees. What gives?
While it is normal for a child to change interests throughout their tween years, and they may desire to switch “hobbies, activities, or friends,” when a child has no interest at all, caregivers should be concerned. There could be an underlying issue, and you need to do some digging. Dr. Jones says perhaps your child has joined “the wrong crowd” and wants to drop their interest due to “peer pressure to feel cool, popular, or respected.” This could also be a sign that the child is depressed, or there’s a “why” behind them quitting their beloved activity, such as bullying. Parents need to approach their tween with curiosity, and if there is an issue, rope in a professional.
Obsessing over someone.
“First crushes often happen during the tween period,” Dr. Jones says. However, if your tween is “excessively talking about, following, and communicating with just one person,” parents should see this as an opportunity to discuss what healthy relationships are and aren’t, while also trying to model healthy relationships and boundaries. This is also a good time to talk about self-worth and explain that talking to strangers or communicating with older kids (or adults) online in a flirtatious and secretive way is never okay. Keep close tabs on your child’s phone (if they have one), which can be a gateway to these conversations.
Complaints of pain.
The occasional headache, sinus pressure, or fever is normal for anyone. However, Dr. Jones shares that a child who complains of physical pains, like a constant stomach ache, could suffer from a mental health disorder. The problem could be physical, such as food intolerance, but stomach pain can also be a symptom of “anxiety or bullying.” According to Dr. Jones, you should take physical pain concerns to the pediatrician for evaluation and guidance.
Dr. Jones says that if a tween is doing this, caregivers should ask themselves if the child is responsible enough for a phone. If you decide they are, establish and enforce age and ability-appropriate rules surrounding cell phone usage, including times the phone can be used and which apps and games are allowed. If rules are being violated, Dr. Jones points out that while the child could be “seeking privacy and independence,” this could also be a red flag for hiding content. The key is communication with your child and enforcing consequences, such as losing access to the phone for a period when rules are violated.
Sudden and drastic sleep changes.
Yes, tweens and teens will have changes in their sleep patterns, especially during puberty when their bodies and brains are changing and growing. Dr. Jones notes that some of her patient’s cause of sleep changes is due to less adult supervision—parents might lighten up and allow the use of devices close to bedtime or allow the child to have screens in their bedrooms. “This is a recipe for deferring much-needed sleep,” she says.
And while a sleep-deprived kid may be “disinterested or even irritable” day to day, this isn’t the only reason a tween’s sleep may change. Dr. Jones says “physical and mental health problems,” and “recent trauma” can cause sleep disruption or deferral. She says parents need to “always investigate,” and then seek professional guidance, such as their child’s pediatrician.
Telling lies.
Fact: everyone lies at some point. However, Dr. Jones says tweens are becoming better at lying. Trying out a lie here or there isn’t a red flag, but “excessive lying is problematic because it can damage relationships, trust, and reputation.” Dr. Jones suggests that if parents notice their tween is lying more than ever, they need to “investigate their reasons and meet their needs.” They also may need to look inward because Dr. Jones notes that kids whose parents use forms of physical discipline are setting their children to tell untruths to avoid being harshly punished. She suggests a positive parenting approach where parents hold misbehavior accountable but also “reduce the need for lying as a survival tactic.”
Sudden grade changes.
If your student has a B average in school and starts failing multiple classes, there could be a few causes. Dr. Jones says one possibility is an undiagnosed learning disability “that unmasks as schoolwork becomes more challenging or the load is heavier.” Additionally, tweens face more social pressures during their middle school years, which can distract them from focusing on academics. Another possibility is a traumatic life event like the death of a loved one. The key, Dr. Jones says, is to communicate with your child and seek extra help if needed.
Mood swings.
Tweens inching toward their teen years will inevitably face “mood changes, testing of limits, and struggles for independence.” Dr. Jones assures us that these are typical. However, it’s how we help our children deal with the myriad of pressures and changes that can make or break the tween. Caregivers need to help their tween manage behaviors “in a peaceful and guiding way.” If parents notice that the tween’s mood shifts are drastic to the point of causing harm to themselves or others, or if “they impact functioning in daily life,” the caregiver needs to take the child to the pediatrician. If the tween has shifted into a new way of existing, such as never wanting to leave their bedroom, not even for basics like food, this is a red flag.
It’s helpful for caregivers of tweens to do research on parenting during the tween years, as well as typical tween development and behaviors. When a tween behaves in a way that’s out of the ordinary for their age group, Dr. Jones wants parents to pay attention and get help, if needed. These smaller behaviors can be “the first signals something is going wrong,” and we should take the “earliest opportunity to help them.”
End-of-summer kiddos may have these personality traits in common
Have you got an August baby in your life? A bun in the oven almost all done? You may be wondering what type of personality traits are common in August-born people. Are they curious? Will they be famous? Are they determined? Maybe all of the above! Here are some interesting facts about people born in August.
They’ll Probably Be The Youngest in Their Class
Since many schools have a Sept. 1st cutoff for kindergarten, your August baby may end up being the youngest kid in her class. This can be good or bad, depending on where your kid is at—socially, physically, and emotionally. Some kids struggle; others do just fine (and almost all end up catching up in the long run).
They’re Confident and Strong-Willed
The stars have a lot to say about August-born babies (though we always take these messages with a grain of salt). The Zodiac sign for people born in August is either Leo (July 23-Aug. 22) or Virgo (Aug. 23-Sept. 22), with both signs being known for confidence, smarts, and a strong will. They’ll never back down from an argument, according to this online astrology site, so get ready to stand your ground, parents.
They’re (Slightly) Less Likely to Go to College
According to findings from the National Bureau of Economic Research, as noted in The Wall Street Journal, august-born kids may be at a disadvantage when it comes to college admissions. This is attributed to the fact that many schools have a Sept. 1 cutoff for kindergarten, so kids with August birthdays are the youngest in the class. The research found that August-born kids were 2.1% less likely than September children to attend college, 3.3% less likely to graduate from college, and 7.2% less likely to graduate from a selective college.
They May Be Misdiagnosed with ADHD
Studies show that kids born in August are more likely to be diagnosed with ADHD than those born in other months. But here’s the good news: It doesn’t necessarily mean they actually have ADHD: Research published in 2016 by the Journal of Pediatrics found that summer-born kids are often misdiagnosed with behavior problems when the real issue is simply that they’re younger and not yet ready for the rigor of the school day.
If you think your August babe is always smiling, you may be right. Research from Vanderbilt University found that people with summer birthdays are less likely to be depressed than people born in the cooler months. It could be because of all that vitamin D exposure in the womb. Still, researchers also theorize that a newborn’s “biological clock” may be permanently stamped by the summer’s long light cycle—and that stamp brings a sunnier disposition.
They Tend to Be Bigger
According to this Cambridge University study of more than 450,000 people in the U.K., babies born in August (and June and July) have higher birth weights—and may even grow into taller adults—than babies born in other months. The size difference was attributed to the fact that women who give birth in late summer are exposed to more vitamin D during pregnancy, which is beneficial to the baby’s growth and development. Interestingly, the study also found that girls born in the summer tend to start puberty later (which is linked to lower rates of breast cancer, teen pregnancy, and HPV). Hooray for sunshine!
They May Be More Likely to Get the Flu
A new study from a pair of doctor-dads concluded that summer-born kids are more likely to get the flu, based on the fact that their annual check-ups occur in the summer before the latest flu vaccine is available.
There Are Two Birthstones for the Month of August
Here’s an interesting August birthday fact: there are two birthstones for the eighth month of the year. Peridot is a yellow-gold stone known as the gem of compassion and represents peace and harmony. Spinel can be found in a variety of colors, including pink, purple, red, and blue. The gem is believed to inspire relaxation in those who wear it and is associated with energy and joy.
There Are a Lot of Them!
Your baby won’t be the only summer birthday party on your social calendar. According to the CDC, August is the most common month to be born in the United States (meaning that November and December are the most common months for conception). Blame it on the holiday spirit! Or the cold.
Here’s how to offer advice to tweens and get them to actually listen
While most everyone knows about the rebelliousness of the teen years, not enough is said about that period when the defiance and know-it-all-isms initially begin: the tween years. Also known as the pre-adolescent years (roughly between ages 9 and 12), tweendom can be a challenging time to parent through. For one, your kids often still look, act, and sound like young children. It’s hard to recognize that they’re growing up when they’re still cuddling teddy bears and asking for kisses on booboos.
But the truth is that as they are slowly shedding childlike tendencies, they’re also looking toward the future. They’re looking up to older siblings, cousins, and neighbors. They’re hoping to act more “mature” while not yet having the capacity to be. And even though they might start rolling their eyes more at doting parents, they still very much need tons of guidance and support. As parents and caregivers, you might be wondering how to talk to tweens so that they really listen. We spoke to a few experts on what words of wisdom or other advice for tweens we should be imparting, and these are some of the things they had to say.
“My job as your parent is to keep you safe.”
Sarah Baroud, a clinical social worker who focuses on parenthood, reminds parents that they need to let their kids know that they’ve got their child’s best interest in mind. “Sometimes doing what’s right is not fun or easy, but it’s necessary,” says Baroud. After all, as the adult, you have the benefit of being more aware of the dangers that kids (and tweens) just have very little understanding of.
“It doesn’t matter what your friends are doing. These are the rules in our house.”
Baroud reminds parents that comparisons start early, but that doesn’t mean we have to bend to our child’s will. “This goes against the often intense peer pressure that tweens feel,” says Baroud. “However, we know boundaries and structure are crucial for development.” Helping your child understand that the same rules don’t always have to (or should) apply to every person and that some parents may have different beliefs and values guiding these rules, can be useful in these situations.
“I know what it’s like.”
“Tweens may not want to hear (or believe) stories of our life experiences but we certainly learn a lot by growing up and can relate to what they are going through in many ways,” says Baroud. Being honest with our kids about our experiences (including mistakes we’ve made, and consequences we’ve faced as a result) can sometimes help tweens connect with us more.
“Establish a support system and don’t wait to ask for help.”
Susan P. Horton, Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist and bestselling author of “Raising a Resilient Family: How to Create Strong Connection and Communication in a Deeply Distracted World,” says that parents should talk with their tweens about building a network of friends, family and trusted adults at a time when they are on the precipice of so many big changes (like puberty and middle school). “Having emotional support and someone to talk to can make a difference when managing stress,” says Horton. She recommends parents encourage their tweens to “talk to a trusted adult, school counselor or mental health professional when struggling with mental health or overwhelming thoughts.”
“Practice self-care.”
Self-care talk is often marketed toward adults these days, but tweens should also hear these reminders from their parents. Horton says some ways to help your tween learn about self-care is by reminding them to “set boundaries online,” and “engage in offline interests that promote connection and personal growth.” Help your tween identify some of these interests (whether it’s sports, music, art, or spending time in nature) and find ways to support them.
“Set realistic goals and practice time management.”
You’ve been managing most things for your child up to this point, but while tweens might initially struggle with having to set their own goals and work on their time management, you won’t do them any favors by giving in. Teach tweens to “break down large tasks into smaller, manageable steps. This reduces overwhelming feelings and increases a sense of accomplishment,” says Horton. She recommends getting your child an agenda or planner and helping them create a schedule to stay organized and reduce their stress related to deadlines. They will appreciate it in time.
“Be kind to everyone, even if they aren’t your friend.”
iStock
Michelle Felder, a licensed clinical social worker and founder of Parenting Pathfinders reminds parents to let tweens know that the way they treat others matters. At a phase when cliques and bullying can become more rampant, it’s exactly the right time to show tweens that they should be striving for kindness. “Your words have the power to build people up or tear them down, and how you make people feel sticks with them,” says Felder.
“Peer pressure can be hard to deal with, so if you’re ever in a situation where your friends are encouraging you to do something that you don’t want to do or don’t think you should do, trust your gut.”
Tweens often face lots of peer pressure to say and do things they might not want to go through with. It’s a difficult phase when they’re navigating the idea of being liked and the fear of being ostracized, which makes it especially important for parents to discuss these matters even if tweens don’t want to hear it at first. Felder suggests telling tweens to listen “to the little voice inside of (them, which) will help (them) make the best choice.”
“It’s ok that friendships end, even when the ending hurts.”
The tween years are when friendships slowly start to become much more important in the lives of children. But while friendships are important, tweens need to know that “not every friendship is meant to last forever, and most of them won’t,” says Felder. Help your tweens recognize when a friendship is no longer serving them (e.g. if their friend is bullying them, pressuring them to do things they don’t want to do, or is generally feeding negativity their way), and let them know there’s always a choice. The same goes for reminding them that if a friend decides they want to end the friendship, it’s not the end of the world, and they’ll go on to make new friends.
“Feelings change, no matter how much your mind may try to convince you that they won’t.”
With the onset of puberty and hormone fluctuations come very intense emotions. For tweens, that can mean major mood swings and feeling like small problems are extremely huge ones when in reality, they might not be. Felder recommends telling tweens to “just give it time. The highs and lows will all come and go.”
“It’s easier to be yourself than to try to be anyone else.”
Be yourself is great advice for anyone at any age, but it’s especially important to cement that idea into the minds of tweens, who often worry about fitting in and what others might think. It’s especially difficult when tweens might still want to hold on to some of the things they loved as younger children but feel like they can’t because older tweens might think they’re being “babyish.” “A true friend will love you just the way you are,” Felder says.
From the moment of birth, your toddler has been exploring their environment through of all their senses. They’ve touched foreign objects, smelled new scents, learned to recognize your face, have grown to love your voice and tasted so many new flavors (Woah, who knew milk was so awesome?). These key experiences increased their understanding and sense of curiosity and also helped develop their physical, mental and emotional capabilities.
As they enter pre-nursery, their sensory exploration will help them learn more and gain a whole new set of skills. Known as sensory play, activities that incorporate and exercise the senses can enhance your tot’s brain function, fine and gross motor skills and communication, and even ease their emotions.
At the British International School of Chicago, Lincoln Park (BISC-LP)—a unique, private international school for students ages 15 months to 11 years old—sensory exploration and play-based learning is a core component of the pre-nursery program. BISCP-LP motivates students to achieve success through an internationally-accredited curriculum delivered by globally trained teachers.
Separate from a traditional daycare or pre-school, BISC-LP’s toddler program helps to build a strong academic foundation for future grade levels. With the International Primary Curriculum, young learners are guided by overarching themes that integrate subject areas, such as foreign languages, STEAM subjects, athletics and performing arts. Students are also given access to one-of-a-kind experiences through collaborations with Juilliard, MIT and UNICEF, as they’re part of a global network of schools.
In a safe and nurturing environment, toddlers are further supported in their first school setting through lessons that engage their senses and are centered on play to help foster emotional and social development. “These foundational skills acquired in our early years’ program support each child with their learning and independence, enabling them to excel to their full potential as they progress in our ongoing academic program,” explains Emma Taylor, BISC-LP Pre-Nursery Director.
For BISC-LP, however, scent, smell, touch, taste and sight aren’t the only senses that children should explore their environment with. The toddler program also highlights the vestibular sense (the movement and balance sense that provides information about where our head and body are in space) and the proprioception sense (the body awareness sense that tells us where our body parts are relative to each other).
The reason for the focus on seven versus five? The unique combination “enables children to fully immerse with the characteristics of effective learning,” according to Taylor. To learn more about how sensory play can help your child as they take on school, we’ve listed out the top five benefits.
1. Promotes communication and language development
As toddlers play and engage with other children in class, they’re able to use all of their senses. They see their classmates running around, they hear nursery rhymes being played, they feel the different textures of toys, they’re able to share and taste snacks, and they may even smell certain objects depending on what it is (like that distinct Play-Doh scent from our childhood). By using multiple senses simultaneously, tots can practice describing what they’re doing and better explain their emotions towards a task.
2. Supports cognitive growth
From birth to age three, babies form over 1 million neural connections in their brain every second—and sensory play helps to bridge these pathways more. As they tackle new challenges through hands-on activities that spark their curiosity, problem solving, exploration and creativity, your little sponge is constantly absorbing new memories. Taylor adds that by incorporating these multi- sensory, first-hand experiences, children can connect and inquire about the world.
3. Boosts gross motor skills
With each day that passes, your little one can begin to do more and more with their body. This happens thanks to their growing gross motor skills (movements related to a child’s growing arms, legs, trunks and feet). Through sensory play at school, youngsters can increase their strength and coordination of these large muscle groups even more. Whether they’re learning to throw a ball, mastering the art of crawling or jumping and running all throughout the schoolyard, you’ll have a tiny explorer always on the go.
4. Encourages fine motor skills
Sensory play also has a key role in the development of a kiddos’ fine motor skills, which are the coordination and movement of the small muscle groups in the body (eyes, hands, fingers and wrists. By practicing holding a crayon, stacking up blocks and squeezing a handful of gooey slime, preschoolers can increase their hand-eye coordination and ability to grasp, as well as enhance their proprioception sense. “[Children can learn] about how much force to use, allowing us them to do something like crack an egg while not crushing the egg in their hands,” explains Taylor.
5. Helps calm children when overwhelmed
For toddlers, sensory overload and mixed emotions can result in the form of tantrums, outbursts, or sullen rage. A sensory activity, like squishing sand between their fingers, listening to music, and doing stretching exercises or breathing techniques, can help to calm these mood swings and ease feelings of anger, frustration and sadness. “Toddlers thrive when they are loved and well cared for, so building relationships is key to each child feeling safe, secure, and ready to learn,” says Taylor. “We support children when they’re having big feelings in a nurturing way, by providing cuddles and singing songs.”
At the British International School of Chicago, Lincoln Park, your tot will begin to explore their surroundings through sensory play, which is foundational to their older years. Contact the school today to begin your child’s educational journey in the pre-nursery program!
The first twelve months after bringing home baby are a roller-coaster of milestones, mood swings and memories. Every parent who has been there and done that has a lot of could-haves, should-haves, and would-haves from baby’s first year—whether it’s sleep training, navigating teething or life-saving products. Keep reading to see our team’s top tips, which they share with every new parent:
This post is in partnership with Camilia Teething Drops, the mess-free, homeopathic drops that can relieve painful gums, irritability, and minor digestive upsets sometimes associated with teething. Camilia Teething Drops are made with plant-based active ingredients like chamomile and come in easy-to-use pre-measured doses—meaning they’re mess-free and so convenient for on-the-go families. Learn more about Camilia and save $2 on Camilia Teething Drops here!
“Get a couple of preemie outfits and diapers for the first couple of weeks—unless you expect a very large baby.” -Jennifer S.
“Relax. For what it’s worth, I feel like the baby can feel your anxiety. So whatever you are doing, relax and the baby will relax, too.” -Laurie M.
Partner
"Teething drops! We love Camilia. They’re individually packaged, pre-measured doses so super easy to take on the go and mess-free, because you never know when teething crankiness will set it. They work like a charm soothing sore gums and made with plant-based active ingredients! No yucky stuff that you have to worry about giving your baby—a must!" -Jamie A.
“Fun trick that not enough people know about: Onesies have those flaps on the shoulders because many are designed to be pulled down over baby all the way in case of a blowout for easier cleanup.” -Jennifer S.
“An app called The Wonder Weeks saved our sanity multiple times. It tells you how the baby’s brain is developing and what is normal in terms of behavior and fussiness. I recommend it to all our new mom friends now!” -Sarah S.
“Get out as much as you can. The “potted plant” stage where you can carry them around in their bucket car seat is so much easier than the toddler years in a lot of ways.” -Kate L.
“Download a book on a Kindle for those nights that you can’t put them down but you can’t sleep in the chair, either. Holding them while they sleep at 4 a.m. is sweeter when you’re reading Tina Fey’s latest. Master the blue nasal bulb, and it will serve you well for years to come. If you feel like you’re failing epically at keeping the baby’s schedule consistent, just try to be consistent with your own schedule (when you exercise, when you eat, when you try to shower, etc.); control what you can control. Take it easy on yourself. You’ll be fine.” –Shelley M.
“Run a load of laundry every day, if you’re able. Getting ahead of it is much easier than it piling up and… it’s less folding. Just grab a clean burp cloth.” -Julie G.
“You don’t need a million toys. A few classic items will suffice.” -Gabby C.
“Don’t kill yourself trying to master the DIY swaddle. Get one of those Miracle Blankets and Velcro the sucker in there!” –Mimi O.
“Take LOTS of videos. Babies change and grow so much: You’ll want video to remember facial expressions, those first laughs, cuddles with grandparents, all the little, special moments.” -Eva C.
“Breastfeeding guilt. Let it go, mama. Breastfeeding is harder for some moms than others; don’t compare yourself. Do it or don’t, and for as long or as little as works for you. Your baby will get the nourishment they need either way. Breastfeeding doesn’t make you more or less of a good mom. Be kind to yourself. You just birthed a human. You’re doing great and you got this.” -Jamie A.
“Remember: It’s just a phase. It’s actually unbelievable how consumed you are with whatever the latest issue is—feeding, nap schedules, rashes, etc. You feel like you’ll be stuck in that place forever. And then a few weeks later you aren’t and you’ve moved on to the next obsession. Take a deep breath and know that whatever it is, it will likely pass.” -Lauren D.
“Ruffles out! Diapers have ruffles around the legs. These are important for keeping the poop in. Ruffles out. Always.” –Jennifer S.
It’s no surprise that we’re spending more time than ever in front of a screen. Children spend an average of up to six hours a day in front of a screen, and teens spend up to 9 hours! “Where in the world did they pick up these toxic habits?” I ask myself, looking up from my screen.
Today, you can’t avoid screens completely. But internet dependence is a growing problem for kids and adults around the world. Because your brain continues to develop until you’re around 25 years old, children and teens are more at risk of developing an addiction to tech. I don’t think anyone parent wants to sit next to their tween at a Tech-aholic Anonymous meeting—is there such a thing?
It’s more important than ever to raise your child with a healthy relationship with technology. To be honest, limiting screens is something that would benefit even us adults.
Signs Your Kid Needs a Digital Detox
Technology addiction is a real medical concern. Much like you can become addicted to smoking, you can get addicted to being in front of a screen. With social media apps like Instagram, YouTube, and TikTok generating literally thousands of videos and posts per minute and draining time from your child’s life, a digital detox may be needed.
Having too much screen time can show up in your child in a lot of different ways:
Weight gain or weight loss
Irritability and increased aggression
Impulsive behavior
Mood swings
Low grades in school
Issues falling and staying asleep
Poor body image
Social issues such as difficulty communicating face-to-face
Researchers are unsure whether these behavioral problems cause screen addiction, or if children with behavioral problems simply gravitate towards electronics. Either way, too much screen time can harm your child’s cognitive and social development.
How to Limit Screen Time
1. Set Screen Time Expectations. The first thing you need to do before giving your child screen access is to set expectations and rules on how to use it. Giving your child freedom as they grow is an important part of development. But you also need to be their protector and limit access to things that could harm them until they’re old enough to make decisions themselves.
For younger children, your tech rules could focus on how many minutes of screen time per day they can have. And consequences could be losing screen time or the device for a day. Since older children will have more freedom, the rules will be a bit different. Discuss expectations about what types of sites to stay away from, why they should keep their device in a public space, and what time in the evening they should put screens away.
Because of the COVID-19 pandemic, screen time is up in many homes. With more schools switching to a virtual classroom, children are stuck at home in front of a screen the majority of the day. That screen time adds up quickly. Make sure you stress the importance of time away from screens whenever possible.
2. Use Tech to Fight Tech. It’s not just you—parents all over the world are struggling to get their children off of screens. Thankfully, most cell phones now have parental control features to limit screen time and control what apps your child can access. App stores have lots of options you can download that will get your child to finally look up from their screens. The Activate Fitness app will only let kids unlock games after reaching an activity goal like doing jumping jacks or running up a flight of stairs. Qustodio can track your child’s location and screen unwanted internet content like pornography. A simple search for parental control apps will show just how easy it can be to limit your child’s tech time.
3. Go Outside. One of the easiest ways to get your kid off their phone is to take them outside! Whether you’re going on a bike ride in your neighborhood or on a hike in the mountains, your kids will be forced to be off their devices. The lack of cell service and WiFi in the mountains also helps limit their screen time. Make sure you’re abiding by safe social distancing guidelines because of COVID-19 concerns. This means staying at least six feet away from hikers whenever possible, choosing a trail close to home, and wearing a face mask when near other hikers.
4. Create Screen-Free Zones. Just like many adults like to keep their bedroom a T.V.-free area, creating screen-free zones around your home can help limit your child’s screen time. Areas like bedrooms, the kitchen table, and the car are great screen-free zones. Removing screens from bedrooms will also help them get more sleep, have better quality sleep, and prevent mental health problems such as depression. Mealtimes and car rides are a great way to connect as a family. It’s important to have these family bonding moments, and time away from devices can give your child’s brain a much-needed rest!
Remember that children learn from their parents. If you set a good example and follow similar screen time limits, your child will be more likely to follow your lead.
5. Be Consistent in Enforcing Your Rules. Don’t let your child wear you down when it comes to enforcing your screen time rules. If you give in to their begging, it shows them that rules don’t matter and they can eventually get anything they want! Make sure that all adults in the house are on the same page in what the screen time rules are.
Remember: your child is essentially a tech addict! Withdrawal symptoms like anger, pouting, or crying can happen when you start limiting their screen time. You know what’s best for your child—and that can mean you will make decisions they don’t like. But it’s important for their development that you stick to your guns.
Natasha is an avid writer, storyteller, and dog-lover. Her work has carried her from the bustle of New York at Inc. Magazine to the Santa Fe deserts at Outside Magazine. She enjoys writing about family-focused and community-centered stories.
