The words of Robert Fulghum’s essay, “All I Really Need to Know I Learned in Kindergarten,” hung on my kitchen wall like a whisper of God’s grace amidst our daily living when my three kids were tiny tots. He reminds us with profound wonder how most of what you need to know about life you learn in kindergarten: share everything, play fair, clean up your own mess, to name a few.
If you’ve been a parent for any length of time, say, a few months, I’m guessing you’ve come to learn the school of parenting includes an even deeper sandbox of lessons from which to scoop meaning and purpose. And not because counting forward from the date on our birth certificate equates to wisdom either. Wisdom is knowing what you don’t know, which is a lot of not knowing much about anything when entering parenthood.
Kids are ego smashers, and the “in the sand experience of raising them” offers many opportunities to knock down our castles of pride and self-preservation. After 23 years of feet in the gritty stuff adventure, my soul walks much lighter having had fortresses of vainglory crumble.
The journey of raising kids does a number on our heart, whatever the real meaning is of such a cliché. But doing a number on us in terms of parenting means unexplainable twists and turns, tugs and pulls of emotions. And if we allow ourselves to learn from the flux, the experience can and should transform our heart in any number of ways.
For me, doing the mom thing for decades means a head full of retrospect and a heart which continues to morph in a million ways. Consider the following poem my parenting heartspeak in 100 words—inspired in full by the talented and wise Robert Fulghum.
Cherish everything.
Fight fair.
Don’t compare yourself to others.
Put everything into perspective.
Worry about your own mess.
Don’t expect others to see things the way you do.
Say I love you. Always.
Count to ten before anything.
Pray.
Trials and struggles enlighten you.
Live a grateful life.
Trust more, think less.
And love and hug and listen and laugh.
Speak, but also be.
Make some time for you every day.
When you feel like you’re alone on an island,
Know a million other parents share the same shore.
Communicate, then succeed and fail together.
Become a child once again.
Our children see the world from a different vantage point. Finding the courage to stoop to their level is akin to sprinkling pixie dust upon any beleaguered, disparaging, and calloused life views. The evils of fallen nature have yet to tarnish the innocence, so the wonder, wide-eyed amazement and unconditional love of everything in sight still tumbles through their spirit. Choosing to go along for the ride can awaken our tired adult selves and rebirth a knowing of what matters most.
And these are only some of the lessons we learn in the first decade. The second half of child-rearing is a close encounter of the undefinable kind, unfurling life lessons from every quantum cranny of the parent-child universe. Stay tuned as I sit crisscross applesauce in my empty nest and muse over how to pen the adolescent years into 100 words or less.
And if you know a mom or dad who would enjoy this post, please share. The more insight we can garner and pass around, the better journey for us as parents—which means even greater rewards for our kids going forward.
If your little readers are in need of some fresh stories, now is the perfect time to let them become their own authors! Storymakery, the first self-publishing experience designed uniquely for children, has just announced online-led classes for kids to create and publish their own books.
Online-led Storytale Express Workshop offers kids the ultimate creative outlet, where they can enhance their writing, self-expression and cognitive thinking skills by developing and publishing their own book.
The workshop is an instructor-led experience that uses one-on-one guidance with Muse staff. Kids will get assistance in character creation and story-building, in addition to receiving access to a conferencing system, free Storymakery account, a soft cover book and free shipping.
Whether you choose to participate in their Online-led Storytale Express Workshop (great for children ages 4 and up) or order a personalized book online (perfect for younger children), Storymakery is an essential enrichment experience for all children during this challenging time!
“Paint and sip” studios—those places where people of varying levels of artistic skills nurse a beverage (beer, wine, apple juice, etc.) and try their hand at creating a piece of art—started popping up in New York City a few years ago. Now, the city is full spots to grab a paintbrush and a pint and attempt a masterpiece (or just have a fun time). Paint and sip studios are great for parties, be they kid’s celebrations, baby showers, or parent group meetups, and of course, you and the kids can go and do some mommy or daddy and me painting just for the heck of it. Here’s where you can paint and sip with the kids in NYC!
photo: Pinot’s Palette Park Slope
The Paint and Sip Primer Paint and sip spots are exactly what they sound like: places where you can hold a brush in one hand and a glass of wine (or whatever your beverage of choice is) in the other. Don’t worry if you’re nervous about bringing your child to a bar — the spots are more art studio than saloon. Rows of easels are set up facing an instructor, who walks you through the painting of that session, step by step. You can join a scheduled class with a predetermined painting, or book a private event for a chance to choose from hundreds of designs.
Costs range from about $30 to $60 per person, per session, and everything (except the drinks) is included. (You can bring your own wine, beer, champagne, etc.—but no hard liquor.) The location will provide paints, an easel, and an apron; you bring yourself and the kids, and your inner artists. Even without any previous artistic experience, you’ll be surprised at how great everyone’s art turns out. Who knew you were so creative?
photo: Painting with a Twist
Painting With a Twist Painting With a Twist is a bright and inviting place to spend a few hours painting and relaxing. The space is relatively small, but cozy, and instructors and staff are super friendly. The recommended age is over 7, so leave the little ones at home for this one.
The Menu: Basic wine, beer, soda and small finger food is available, but you’re welcome to bring your own booze as well. No alcohol is allowed on family days, although 15 – 20 year olds are welcome to attend the regular painting sessions (sans drinking, of course!).
For the Kids: Family-friendly classes are often scheduled throughout the month here, but try to book with a friend because the singles and regular classes are more popular, and classes can be cancelled if a minimum number of participants isn’t met.
Parties: Choose from over 5,000 paintings for a two- or three-hour class, plus half an hour before and after the main event to mingle and relax. Space is small so groups are limited to 10. The space allows you to decorate, as well as bring your own food and drinks, or even hire a caterer.
Pinot’s Palette A juggernaut of the paint and sip industry, Pinot’s Palette has two Brooklyn locations. One, located on Park Slope’s 5th Avenue, is owned and operated by retired NYPD officer and Army vet Scott Drummond. In Dyker Heights, Tatiana Nicoli converted part of her store Boulevard Books and Café into a Pinot’s Palette studio.
Pinot’s Palette doesn’t designate special children’s days, simply because kids are always welcome, and many of the paintings offered here are kid-friendly. Keep in mind, though, that the evening paintings have an open bar and more difficult projects, so smaller children might get frustrated at the difficulty level. However, you and the kids can also stop by the Open Studio events, when the canvas is your, well, canvas; paint whatever you want on a 16×20 canvas (included in the price) or follow one of the self-guided paintings.
The Menu: Assorted drinks like coffee, wine, beer and soda can be purchased and consumed here, as well as some finger foods.
For the Kids: The Park Slope location holds afternoon sessions on weekends featuring kid-friendly works like the cute owl “Little Hootie Pie” or a colorful Sugar Skull, while in Dyker Heights, parents and kids work on “Mommy and Me” projects side by side.
Pinot’s Palette is also home to the“Little Brushes” program, during whichchildren between 6 and 12 years of age are welcome to a fun, party-like atmosphere where they’re encouraged to play with colors and paints, make collages, and more.
Have a little girl scout in the family? Painting with Pinot’s Palette nets a badge for it. Check the locations for seasonal events as well.
Parties: Private parties can be booked for 10 to 15 people, for two- or three-hour sessions, bookended by half hour mingle periods. Not enough time? Pinot’s Palette lets you purchase more time to make the space your own. During children’s birthday parties, gather a party of 15 kids and the birthday child is free. Keep in mind: outside food is allowed, but outside drinks are not.
For a larger, more vibrant painting environment, check out Muse Paintbar.
The Menu: Muse doesn’t just have a bar, it has an entire kitchen, with platters, sandwiches and desserts for the entire family to enjoy.
For the Kids: Regularly-scheduled family nights feature kid-friendly paintings that little fingers can keep up with. Typically priced at $29 per person, the family day events are one of the cheaper options. Kid classes (and parties) are lead by instructors experienced with teaching children.
Parties: The loft-like space can accommodate up to 50 kids, making it ideal for a big birthday bash. Muse has pre-set times for private kids parties, but they also allow you to come in earlier to decorate. You can also bring your own drinks, food and cake — though the space will have kiddie finger food on offer.
Muse Paint Bar 329 Greenwich St. Tribeca 646-938-7800 Online: musepaintbar.com
The Paint Place Consider The Paint Place extremely kid- and family friendly. With two locations—one on the Upper West Side, one in Astoria—The Paint Place offers Family Fun Painting sessions on select weekend mornings, as well as after school art classes and parties. The Paint Place also hosts all-ages events for kids ages 8 to 18, which are noted on each location’s calendar.
The Menu: For adults, it’s beer and wine—they provide the openers and cups.
For the Kids: Family Fun Painting is for kids from four to seven, and older kids can come by any event noted “All Ages Welcome.” And they do after school classes for kids wanting to delve deeper into art.
Parties: Guests paint a 12 x 12 canvas with the help of an instructor, and you provide the cake, food, and paper products.
The Painting Lounge The Painting Lounge has four NYC locations: Chelsea, Midtown, Harlem, and Williamsburg. Painting subjects range from scenic vistas and cityscapes to sassy ladies to Notorious B.I.G. Most classes cost between $30 and $50, but sales are frequent, knocking down prices as much as $40 percent. You can sign up in advance online, and there’s a 24-hour cancellation policy.
The Menu: You bring your own beverages—anything but hard liquor. They provide cups and bottle openers.
For the Kids: The Painting Lounge is mostly for older kids and adults. Kids eight and up can attend classes.
Parties: The Painting Lounge frequently hosts adult celebrations, and does birthday parties for kids ages eight and up.
The sun is shining, the temps are rising, and your adorable bump is growing. That means it’s time to take inventory of your closet and make sure it’s stocked with pieces that help you look and feel cool all summer long. Here are 10 warm-weather maternity pieces that’ll keep expectant mamas happy until labor day!
Get a jump(suit) on summer with this gorgeous one-piece by HATCH. It's as stylish as it is comfortable and makes getting dressed in the morning a breeze. Special details like the side seam pockets, cropped wide legs with slits at the ankle and adjustable knotted straps will make this a wardrobe staple throughout your pregnancy and beyond. We love it in flamenco red, but it's also available in a neutral dune and basic black.
This laid-back, basic tank from Nom Maternity is undeniably flattering, and the longer length and black-and-white stripes makes it a perfect match with your favorite leggings or jeans. The super soft jersey fabric will keep you comfortable and cool on those long summer days.
Made with the needs of expectant mamas in mind, this tulip-print maxi dress from A Pea in the Pod checks all of our boxes for the perfect summer essential: easy, breezy and oh so stylish. It also comes in black, blue-and-white stripes, and a different floral pattern.
Between scheduling doctor's appointments, researching car seats and keeping up with your normal day-to-day responsibilities, the last thing you want to worry about is putting an outfit together. That's why this ribbed tank dress from Storq is heaven sent. It's flattering, comfortable and can take you from day to night with ease. Also comes in gray.
Whether you're gathering with friends after work or off to brunch with your family on the weekends, you'll feel comfortable and stylish in this floral v-neck dress from H&M. Dress it up with heels or wear it with sandals for a more casual look.
For the days when floating is the only thing you feel like doing, reach for this flattering navy one-piece bathing suit. The classic style has built-in side boning for support and offers a breezy nautical look that's perfect for relaxing at the pool. It has a back clasp closure and ties behind the neck.
The talented designers at Mama Muse are the ones to thank for these cool, everyday maternity lounge pants. Made from a fluid, stretch-poly blend, these tapered-leg pants are printed with a flattering, pretty floral motif. Soft, smocked elastic cinches the ruffled waist and cuffs. Pair with a neutral top and sandals and you're out the door in no time.
This forever-relevant knit pencil skirt is built for office hangs, plane rides, dinners out, you name it. The high waistband covers your bump while the mid-calf length makes it easy to wear all summer.
Say hello to your favorite summer shorts! These H&M shorts in a woven viscose and linen blend with wide smocking at the waist and side pockets are the perfect short for everything from a day at the beach to running errands in town to hanging out in the backyard. The fabric is easy and breathable and just what you're looking for on those balmy summer days.
Its feminine fit, darling print and silky fabric are just a few of the things we love about this flattering top from HATCH. Pair with their boyfriend jean or beach pant and you're ready for all the summer fun that's lined up.
If long road trips are in your summer plans, then you’ll definitely be excited to hear about Libro.fm’s monthly deals on audiobooks for kids rolling out this month, just in time for the drive to grandma’s.
Libro.fm is unique in that it partners with over 700 independent booksellers to offer audiobooks. Starting this month Libro.fm is launching the Kids Club and the YA Club, each of which will be featuring 10 audiobooks priced at $10 or less every month.
For the month of June you can kick things off at the Kids Club with an audiobook selection that includes Tuck Everlasting by Natalie Babbitt, Malala (Unabridged) My Story of Standing Up for Girls’ Rights by Malala Yousafzai & Sarah J. Robbins, Because of Winn-Dixie by Kate DiCamillo, Islandborn by Junot Diaz and Ghost by Jason Reynolds.
The YA Club will feature Campfire (Unabridged) by Shawn Sarles & James Patterson, Muse of Nightmares by Laini Taylor and more in June.
Both clubs are free to join and require no commitment. Get more info and sign up here.
In a digital world, too many job seekers use the knee-jerk strategy of trolling “black hole” online job boards. Women, especially, often feel more comfortable avoiding the necessary networking and research—which is a real detriment when you’re a mother looking for less-advertised flexible jobs.
Make this year THE year you get out of your comfort zone and continually build—little by little—an ever-expanding network of influential professionals. Today networking does not mean asking busy strangers to join you for an awkward discussion over lunch or coffee—or attending large networking meetings where it’s hard to approach people for conversations.
Technology eases the networking process and here are four simple networking resolutions if you want a flexible job that blends work and life.
1. Leverage LinkedIn
For all professionals LinkedIn is the place to be—it’s essential to have a strong presence. Since many employers don’t advertise flexible jobs, networking is the key to finding companies that believe their employees should in fact have a life. LinkedIn helps you engage influential professionals outside of your own networks.
Don’t ever say you’ve exhausted all your networking connections…it’s virtually impossible within a professional community of 500 million LinkedIn users. Need some help getting started? Check out this list of the 31 best LinkedIn profile tips for job seekers from The Muse.
2. Identify your unique skill set.
An “I’ll do anything” attitude is never a plus for job seekers. Employers want to fill specific gaps on their teams. When they’re looking for part-time or freelance professionals, for example, they want to see an even narrower portfolio of skills.
Permanent full-time employees tend to be generalists who have job descriptions that morph in many directions. Flexible workers are often experts who can zero in with precision on projects or initiatives.
3. Get out of your own head.
When it comes to flexible work, it’s easy to make lots of unfounded assumptions. Like “most employers aren’t flexible,” “there’s no flexibility in my industry,” “I’ll have to take a pay cut if I work in a flexible way.” You can’t draw conclusions based on a couple of articles you’ve read or a conversation or two with professionals in your field. Even a career coach cannot give you all the answers.
The best approach is networking research—tapping your LinkedIn connections (see above) for more comprehensive “insider data” about specific industries, companies and flexible opportunities that will fit and fund your life.
4. Become a detective.
The reality is that flexibility goes up as company size goes down. Lots of talented professionals get fed up with the big company bureaucracy and flee to their own ventures. They have great training, connections and clients—and the ability to be human about blending work and life. Search LinkedIn for people who have worked for big companies in your area and you’re likely to find more than a few who have gone the entrepreneurial route.
More and more women are acknowledging that continually earning, saving and investing is a form of caregiving for our families. And that does not mean a more-than-full-time, chained-to-your-desk corporate job—we all have lots of options to fit work around life and be the present and involved parents we want to be.
As a mother, coach, speaker and author, my book, Ambition Redefined, details my mission to keep women working toward financial security in a flexible way. I encourage no-apologies independence from the “lean in” mantra: find your own brand of ambition and success, take advantage of today’s flexible workplace, chart alternate career paths that accommodate and fund life.
As if having two famous parents wasn’t enough, imagine getting to jet-set across the globe and visit some of the most iconic sights that anyone would want to see. Angelina Jolie took her kids to the Louvre, and we’re kind of jealous. Yeah, you’ve taken your kiddos to the museum before. But the Louvre? It’s not exactly a staycation day or a trip across town. Right? Well, we’ve got the scoop on the Jolie brood’s day at the Louvre.
What do you do on a typical Tuesday? Maybe you hit Starbucks for a seasonal Frappuccino, take the kids to Target and head to the playground for a pre-k playgroup meet-up. Not Jolie. The super-stylish mama to six took Maddox (16), Pax (14), Zahara (13), Shiloh (11) and Knox and Vivienne (both 9) to the Louvre on a recent Tuesday.
The A-list actress was reportedly in Paris to film a perfume commercial for the iconic Guerlain cosmetics company. Like any working mama, Jolie carved some time out of her work trip to spend with her kids. So we guess that means she’s just like us? Um, probably not.
What’s your favorite vacation museum visit that you’ve taken with your kids? Share your pick in the comments below. —Erica Loop
When it comes to a Snapchat of your little one, forget the special filters and proper lighting. It’s all about the doodle. Lukas Costeur, a Belgian graphic designer, uses his newborn son as a muse for his loveable Snapchat creations. Every evening, Costeur draws his son Felix into characters we all know and love. Check out Costeur’s sweet Snaps below.
This year marks 150 big ones for the children’s classic, Alice’s Adventures in Wonderland, and The Morgan Library is celebrating with a beautiful exhibit worthy of the hoopla. See Lewis Carroll’s pocket watch and microscope, take a selfie with an Alice illustration, and then marvel at the original manuscript he presented to his muse Alice Liddell, the same manuscript that hasn’t left the shores of England for 30 years — and isn’t likely to do so again any time soon. If you’ve got an Alice addict, this is the show for you!
Big story, Small Space
This exhibit, while incredible in its scope, is diminutive: a single room painted canary yellow serves as the setting for celebrating how one story told in a boat one summer afternoon to a trio of rapt daughters ignited the collective imagination of children for a century and a half. There are a few seats sprinkled around the room alongside baskets of various versions of the tale; perfect for passing some time with the wee ones.
But for sure, you’re likely to be just as engaged as the kids, as the exhibit does give ample and appropriate attention to the creative tensions that beset the collaboration between author Charles Lutwidge Dodson, a.k.a. Lewis Carrolll, and his fine illustrator, Sir John Tenniel. (It’s the latter’s images of Alice and friends that became iconic.)
Especially for Kids
More interesting to kids will be Carroll’s original pocket watch — just like the one his beloved rabbit used — or a beautiful golden microscope that stirred his imagination. Kids can also enjoy comparing the original hand-written manuscript, the very one Dodgson presented to the Alice, with the printed version, which is perched directly adjacent. The original Alice’s purse, with her name in needlepoint, is also in the show.
To make the most of your visit, stop by on Sunday afternoons, when a weekly Alice storytime appropriate for kids ages three to six will take place from 3-4 p.m.
If you or the kids want to do a deep dive before or after visiting the exhibit, check out the online version, which includes illustrations, photos and even a playlist of music inspired by the beloved (and trippy) tale. “White Rabbit” anyone?
Alice: 150 Years of Wonderland
The Morgan Library & Museum
Through October 11, 2015
Tickets: $18/adults; free/children 12 and under; $12/children 13-16; Free/Fridays, 7-9 p.m.
225 Madison Ave. at 36th St.
Midtown
212-685-0008
Online: themorgan.org
Will you heading to The Morgan to see the original “Alice”? Tell us in the comments below!
If your little literati are already enjoying (and repeating) nursery rhymes it might be time to take their poetry reading list to the next level. Here are some great poets to get your kid started.
The King of Rhyme: Shel Silverstein No way we can write about great kid’s poets without including Shel Silverstein. He reads like the Seuss’ college-age big brother and is guaranteed to make your kids laugh out loud. Where the Sidewalk Ends, with the gems like “Ridiculous Rose” and “Sarah Cynthia Sylvia Stout Would Not Take The Garbage Out” belongs on the bookshelf of every budding bard. Parents of younger kids should know there are a few poems that might cause a fright: a little boy who slipped down the drain, for example, but that’s no reason not to treat the kids to all that Silverstein has to offer.
The Classics: Poetry for Young People Series
Didn’t think a kid could handle Edna St. Vincent Millay? This awesome series of books will show you otherwise. With selections of poems from famous poets, including Emily Dickinson, Robert Frost, Langston Hughes, Maya Angelou, Walt Whitman and Edgar Allan Poe as well as themes like animals and seasons, these books will prove that you’re never too young to find your muse.
The Poet Laureate for Littles: Jack Prelutsky Jack Prelutsky’s numerous volumes of kid’s books span decades and range from anthologies of translated works to original (and perfectly silly) poems. With titles like It’s Raining Pigs & Noodles, Something Big Was Here and I’ve Lost My Hippopotamus, you’ll enjoy reading them as much as the kids.
The Household Name: Pablo Neruda While they may not understand all of the undertones to Neruda’s works, his praise of everyday things like onions, tomatoes, clothing and bird watching are a great way to show children that poems can be about the simple things around them. Ode to Minecraft, anyone?
The Hero: Ernest L. Thayer
If you don’t recognize the name of this famous poet, you will surely recognize the title of his most epic work, Casey at the Bat. Don’t be deterred by the length: the kids will be so enmeshed in the story of the Mudville nine they won’t even notice you’re still reading a poem.
What’s the first poem you read to your kiddo? Let us know in the comments below.
