19 Ways to Make Your Hometown More Awesome

by Gabby CullenSeptember 18, 2023

We’ve got great ideas to help you make your hometown even better. Mr. Rogers would approve

There’s no time like the present to shower your neighborhood with a little extra love. You’ll teach your kids what it means to be a part of a real community and maybe even get to know a few new friends. From neighborhood scavenger hunts to Little Free Libraries, scroll down for community improvement ideas that can make your hometown just a little bit (or a lot!) more awesome.

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1. Create an Instagram page for your community. Start documenting what makes your 'hood special, ala Bill Cunningham, whether it's the trees, the architecture, the people, or maybe, all of the above. This is something you can do while on small walks around your hometown and is a great way to share the messages of hope and inspiration out there.

2. Make seed bombs. This is a simple project, and it doesn't require a green thumb. Use this easy tutorial from Practically Functional, and then toss your supply in the dirt along roads and freeways. We suggest you use native wildflower seeds to curb any invasive species.

3. Redesign a crosswalk. Cities all over the nation are setting up community crosswalk programs, which allow artists to add an extra flair to the pedestrian's right of way. Keep in mind, things might be slower to happen because of staff considerations, but you can get the inspiration and apply now.

4. Plan to create a pocket park. Bringing more green space to urban landscapes takes time and planning, so now is a good time to start. The National Recreation and Park Association has a great guide on how to get one started.

5. Dedicate a bench. Arrange for extra seats to be added to an outdoor space in honor of a loved one or just a spot to stop and sit for a spell.

6. Shop local. When you buy from a local business, you keep dollars where they belong—in the community. In this time of small-business closures, this is more important than ever. Many cities have started Facebook groups that promote local businesses and restaurants, and innovative businesses and restaurants are offering delivery and curbside pickup. Businesses that are closed, like your favorite hair salon, can be supported by buying a gift certificate now to use later.

7. Perk up your local park. See a broken swing or slide? Want to get new equipment added? Call your Parks & Rec department and share your thoughts. When things open back up, everything will be ready for kids to play, play, play.

8. Have a sidewalk chalk challenge. Sidewalk chalk is making a comeback, and it's always fun to spend time in the front yard, getting to know your community.

9. Volunteer or donate to a local food bank. Even if you aren't able to physically donate your time to a food bank, consider making a donation, as food insecurity is currently at an all-time high.

10. Create a free little library. It'll be the best thing to happen to your neighborhood since Mr. Rogers. Check out our tips on how to create one here.

11. Support local schools. While there might not be spirit nights right now, your local schools might be running online fundraisers for students or teachers. Check your local school district website to find out more information.

12. Help out an older neighbor. Reach out to see if you can pick up their groceries, prescriptions or dinner one night. Check out a few other ways to be a good neighbor here.

13. Bike around town. Using your bike more often helps create the demand for more trails and lanes—and that means less car traffic.

14. Perk up your front porch. A statement door, a fun welcome mat, and flower pots are all easy ways to brighten up your home and your neighborhood.

15. Organize a neighborhood scavenger hunt. Whether it's animals, hearts, states or inspiring messages, organizing a community-wide search is a great way to get outside and to get to "know" your neighbors. You can share your list of finds with other families online and encourage everyone to see the beauty of their town...while still respecting social distancing.

16. Slow down. There are plenty of reasons why driving slower in a neighborhood makes sense—there have even been studies that prove it's a safer option for everyone involved.

17. Practice guerrilla gardening. Claim a plot of unused dirt for yourself and start planting. Click here for ideas, or to find other guerrilla gardeners nearby.

18. Join the local open space alliance. This is the group that will fight to create a walking trail/wildlife refuge instead of another subdivision.

19. Jumpstart the Kindness Rocks movement all over again. Little pieces of art scattered around town? It's the perfect way to spread joy without being in a group. Find out how to get started here.

75+ Ways to Be Kinder, Starting Now

by Amber GuetebierFebruary 27, 2023

Acts of kindness can be small gestures or big efforts, and they’re all important

Kids are naturally compassionate, so why not take a few minutes today (and every day) to foster that inherent kindness? From simple gestures like giving up your seat on the bus to giving your kids’ teacher a “just because” gift, we’ve found over 75 simple acts of kindness that’ll allow you and the kids to pay it forward.

1. Offer to pick up groceries for an at-risk or elderly neighbor.

2. Compliment a stranger.

3. Collect your child’s old books that they no longer read and donate them to a children’s center, shelter, or local library.

4. Pay the bridge toll of the person behind you.

5. Bring flowers to a coworker or friend.

6. Carry someone’s groceries to their car for them.

7. Send a friend a positive text.

8. Ask a stranger how they are feeling today, and actually listen to the answer.

9. Bake cookies and deliver them to the local fire or police station.

10. Leave a big tip for a server or delivery person.

11. Make sandwiches and distribute them to the homeless in your neighborhood.

12. Help a senior cross the street.

13. Give up your seat on the bus.

14. Deliver a meal or a potted plant to a random neighbor.

15. Make a kindness calendar with the kids!

16. Donate dog or cat food to the local animal shelter (call to ask them what brands they need). Many shelters want and need old blankets and towels as well.

17. Send a postcard to someone you love, even if they live nearby (or in the same house!).

18. Make a donation of a birthday box to a local food shelter: include items like cake mixes, frosting, candles, balloons, and party hats.

19. If it’s a hot day, hand out cold bottles of water.

20. If it’s raining, share your umbrella for a few blocks.

21. Make kindness cards from drawings and paintings of kids’ art. Drop a few by the nearest senior center and ask if they can use them for anyone who needs a bit of cheer.

22. Pick up trash off the street.

23. Call an old friend or relative.

24. Thank a teacher.

25. Host a bake sale to end child hunger.

26. Spring for coffee and donuts for your co-workers.

27. Head to the park with some chalk and write sweet messages to the world.

28. Make a thank you card for the postal worker who delivers your mail.

29. Give thanks for everyday things, not just big acts or gifts. “Thank you for making me laugh today,” or “Thank you for helping me figure out that math problem,” or even simply, “Thank you for loving me.”

30. Smile at 10 people.

31. Slip a note complimenting someone’s parking on the windshield of their car.

32. Distribute random hugs.

33. Buy a cup of coffee for the person behind you in line at the coffee shop.

34. Make a friendship bracelet and give it to a new friend.

35. Compliment someone sitting near you.

36. Share your toys.

37. Leave your change in a vending machine after you buy something.

38. Paint a picture for a neighbor you don’t know that well.

39. Play with someone new on the playground today.

40. Call a friend or relative, and tell a joke.

41. Leave a positive note on a bulletin board.

42. Read a book with a child.

43. Rake leaves, shovel snow, or do a little yardwork/weeding for your neighbor.

44. Take out your neighbor’s trash for them.

45. Start a Little Free Library.

building a free little library is an act of kindness — iStock

46. Walk a neighbor’s dog.

47. Put a post-it note with a positive message like, “Today will be awesome” on a random door.

48. Offer to run an errand for someone.

49. Hide a few toys or Matchbox cars in the sand at the playground.

50. Leave a sweet note in your spouse or partner’s wallet.

51. Leave a dish of fresh water out for neighborhood dogs in front of your house or business.

52. Use sidewalk chalk to say hello to a neighbor.

53. Give your child’s teacher $5 toward classroom expenses or help to pay for a field trip.

54. Write a letter to the first person that pops into your mind (and don’t forget to send it!)

55. Help another kid with his homework.

56. Buy a spare umbrella and find someone who needs it.

57. Get some silly glasses and wear them until you make someone laugh.

58. Do something to make your hometown more awesome.

59. Let a stranger go ahead of you in line.

60. Look in the mirror and give yourself a compliment.

61. Consider the flash mob.

62. Do something nice for yourself.

63. Hold the door open for someone.

64. Add extra time to your meter for the next person.

65. Gather up gently used clothing and donate via ThredUp using their Donation Clean Out Kit.

66. Starting today, thank someone once a week for a year. You can send a thank-you via mail, email, text, phone, or in person. Make a little list of thank-yous and revisit them in 52 weeks.

67. Sit with someone new at lunch.

68. Ask a kid you don’t usually play with to play with you at recess.

69. Find a story or post you like, and let the writer know it meant something to you.

70. Be patient while waiting in line.

71. Leave a glowing review for a business or employee who helped you or your kids.

72. Give someone the benefit of the doubt.

73. Be a courteous and kind driver.

74. Be kind to urban animals and wildlife: do not chase pigeons or throw coins in a fountain where fish live.

75. Leave a note of kindness in the pocket of a coat in a clothing store, like “You look great in this!” or “You are more important than you could ever know.”

76. Order a new book from our list of diverse books for kids, and have it sent to a friend.

77. Send a friend or relative a sweet surprise from Sugarwish.

78. Wave hi to someone you don’t know!

79. Ask a friend if they need any help: could you walk their dog or drop off a book to read?

Want more? Check out the Random Acts of Kindness Foundation’s idea page.

—with additional reporting by Taylor Clifton

The Summer Nights I Want My Kids to Remember

By Jennifer Berney

Tinybeans Voices Contributor

August 5, 2022

When I was eight years old in 1985, summer had long arms. I woke long after the sun had risen to a day that no one had mapped out for me. It was my job to map it, and so I read books, I watched TV, or I put an album on the record player and spread out across the floor to listen. When I got bored of all of these things, I cut through the neighbor’s backyard, walked two houses down, and knocked on my best friend’s door.

Our play dates were never arranged by parents or noted on the family calendar. Instead, they were spontaneous and sprawling: They often lasted for days. After an afternoon of play, as dinnertime approached and the prospect of separating loomed, we inevitably begged for a sleepover.

My parents, who valued routine, were likely to say, “We didn’t plan for that.” But Alison’s parents—who had once been hippies and had an open-door policy—were far more likely to say “Sure!” On one of these summer evenings, their “yes” meant that I traveled with them to a party several towns away.

I had never been to a party that combined adults and children. When my own parents wanted to socialize, they hired a sitter and went out, or invited one or two guests over for dinner. So far the only parties I knew involved balloons, a small group of kids the same age, and a table for carefully wrapped presents.

This party was expansive. Grown-ups spilled out of the house and onto the lawn. Alison and I were instantly absorbed into a group of children. There were about a dozen of us, boys and girls of various ages, most of us unknown to one another. We never learned each other’s names, but we played together, easily, for hours. We played tag and red rover. We found big sticks and explored the nearby creek, balancing on rocks and swatting at mosquitoes.

If we had gone to school together, we would have been in different grades and different social groups. At best, these other children would have ignored me at recess; at worst, they would have teased me for my bad haircut and crooked teeth. That evening, we were free from all of that.

Back at the house, grown-ups did whatever grown-ups did at parties. They drank and smoked strange-smelling cigarettes. They grilled meat. They sang and talked and laughed their loud grown-up laughs. By this time, I was certain that my own parents were in bed, asleep.

When night descended, darkness drew us kids to the light of the bonfire, where each of us settled between the grown-ups we’d arrived with. On the long drive home, Alison lay across the back seat with her head in my lap while I tracked stars in the clear night sky.

As an adult, I’m surprised by how often I remember this party, which marked a rare moment in my childhood when time and social boundaries were fluid. I think of it every time we assemble on a neighbor’s lawn for a barbecue and my sons join games with children of various ages. On these evenings, I note how the teenage boys are tender with the younger kids. They are skilled at adapting games of football and Frisbee to include my six-year-old, who still struggles to catch and throw, and my two-year-old, who stands in the middle and lunges.

I think of this party when we visit a friend whose twin granddaughters jump up and down at the sight of my sons, and they all run wild together. They take turns sliding on the Slip n’ Slide. They sprint down the hill and do tricks on the swings. Away from school, my son feels free to play with girls who wear pink, and the girls, in turn, are happy to spend their afternoon with younger boys who can barely keep up. When children form packs, when their friendships leave the restrictions of gender and age, their play becomes timeless. There is magic in that.

The rest of our summer is often marked by the trappings of our era. We listen to audiobooks on the iPad and watch movies on Netflix. These days, the parents I know aren’t eager to let their children roam the neighborhood or swap kids for days at a time, so I arrange play dates for my son via text message and mark them in their box on the calendar.

I’m fond of all our summer days, but it’s expansiveness I crave, the flow state of summer where time melts and boundaries blur; where we disconnect from set schedules and slip into our own rhythms of sleeping, waking, and eating; where friends become family and strangers become friends. Because isn’t it true that on a warm summer evening it’s easy to like whomever you’re with?

I seek and savor such moments for my children—the barbecues and long afternoons on the lawn—because their school year is so often composed of compartments, of school days and home days, of dinner before dessert and two books before bed, of play dates and swim lessons and designated screen times.

There is no greater joy for me than watching these edges soften, watching my children find their identities spread beyond their daily to-dos and into the wilderness of unstructured time.

This essay was originally published on Brain, Child.

Jennifer Berney

Tinybeans Voices Contributor

Jennifer Berney lives with her partner and two wild sons in the Pacific Northwest. You can connect with her on Twitter, or on her personal blog, Goodnight Already.

12 Simple Ways Connect with Your Neighbors

by Amber GuetebierJuly 19, 2022

Do you ever wonder how to be a good neighbor? It can be as simple as waving hi, chatting up the family next door, or helping someone out when they need a hand. Remember, it’s never too late to strengthen your bond with the people who live next door, across the street, or at the end of the block. Here are 12 simple ways you and the kids can connect with your neighbors today and every day.

1. Ask them their name. This seems like a no-brainer, but so often we don’t know even know our neighbor’s names!

2. Exchange phone numbers. A simple gesture that says you’re looking out for them.

3. Bake something. The holidays often bring this kind of tradition, but why not invoke it on a random Wednesday? Few people will be disappointed in freshly baked bread, cookies, or other goodies. And everybody loves coffee cake.

4. Plant it. A cutting from your favorite houseplant or a pre-potted begonia: even a small bouquet of flowers is a sweet and inexpensive way to say, “Hey!”

5. Arrange an interview. Use this get-to-know-your-neighbors guide to help your kids interview your neighbors.

6. Make it a double. Next time you’re at the store, grab an extra bar of soap, dishwashing liquid or another cleaning product and gift it to your neighbor. It doesn’t need to be expensive, and keep in mind many people have chemical and scent sensitivities.

7. Make a hello card. Have the kids paint or draw a simple card that just says “Hello, neighbor!”

8. Carry the load. Help unload the trunk of the car or pick up a package from the bottom of the stairs and place it in front of their door.

9. Invite them to dinner. Make dinner at your house or meet them at your favorite place. There are so many options for your comfort level.

10. Do a work exchange. Mow their lawn, shovel their driveway, pull weeds or something similar. Even if you live in an apartment building you can help tidy up communal spaces or carry their recycling down to the street.

11. Organize a pot-luck. If you don’t have the space to do this in your own place, use a nearby park or community center. Make simple invites that you hand-deliver and set a time limit.

12. Start a club. If you share a passion or hobby with your neighbor, do this hobby together or start a group in your community. This could be a book club, knitting club, woodworking club and so on. The options are endless!

—Taylor Clifton, Amber Guetebier

Ride Here Now: McLaren Bike Park in San Francisco

by Kate LowethNovember 2, 2021

Bust out the bicycles and snap on the helmets at San Francisco first-ever bike park! Located in SF’s Excelsior neighborhood (near the Cow Palace), McLaren Bike Park has been a welcomed addition to both the neighborhood and the local cycling community. Scroll down to read more about what you can find there!

The History of McLaren Park

Almost ten years in the making, the just under half-acre McLaren Bike Park is packed full of fun for youth mountain bikers and BMX riders. The bike park took over a city parking lot in McLaren Park, across from San Francisco Unified School District’s Science Resource Center. This long-neglected spot was often full of trash and went unused by the neighboring community. The addition of the McLaren Bike Park brings a safe spot for kids to exercise and hone their bike riding skills.

Photo: McLaren Bike Park

The Pump Track

The inner section, called the pump track, includes dirt mounds and steeply-banked turns. Designed for intermediate to advanced riders, traffic on the pump track is multi-directional so riders need to be aware of their surroundings when riding there.

The Skills Trail

Surrounding the pump track is the skills trail loop. Here, riders from beginners on up can practice turns, braking and navigating other riders on the trail.

The Future

Currently the park is open for drop-in riding where staff will be available to provide free assistance with bike riding skills. In the spring, the SF Recreation and Park Department will offer programming on site including classes like Bike Park Etiquette – Introduction to Park Riding; Bike Park Basics – Introduction to Pump Tracks; and Bike Skill Building – Introduction to Riding Elements. In the summer of 2018 you can expect to find their bike camp taking up residence there.

This is just the beginning for McLaren Bike Park. The pump track and skills trail are phase one of the project that will add cycling trails to eight acres of the surrounding property.

McLaren Bike Park
2050 Sunnydale Ave.
San Francisco, CA
Online: mclarenbikepark.com

Photos courtesy of the author except where noted.

IKEA’s Holiday Collection Is Here & You’re Going to Want It All

by Karly WoodOctober 20, 2021

What’s better than new holiday decorations? Affordable ones of course! IKEA just unveiled it’s 2021 holiday collection and decorations start at just one dollar.

Every item in IKEA’s new Vinterfest collection is designed with families in mind. Each piece is sleek and stylish, yet simple and functional. In other words, you won’t spend the entire month of December asking your kids not to touch anything. That classic Scandinavian style that’s basic yet bold embodies this whimsical collection. Here are a few of our favorites.

Artificial Tree

This six foot tree couldn't be easier to put up year after year. Needle-free and easy to store, this popular IKEA item is truly the gift that keeps on giving.

$130

Animal Ornaments

Could these adorable animal ornaments be any cuter? Each pack comes with Scandinavian-inspired forest animals that include a fox, hare and a reindeer.

$13

Cookie Cutters with Container

Enjoy some quality family time baking those holiday cookies with this set of assorted cookie cutter shapes.

Tealight Holder

Whimsical and functional, this adorable tree and fox tealight holder is the perfect way to dress up that boring little candle.

$10

Table Runner

A fun and festive table runner for just $5?! This four foot runner is made from cotton and is easily machine washable.

Holiday Tin

Pack those fresh-baked cookies into these adorable tins and they make the perfect homemade gift for a teacher or neighbor.

You can shop the entire Vinterfest collection in stores and online here.

—Karly Wood

All photos: IKEA

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5 Things I Learned from Walking 5 Miles a Day

By Jen Kathrina-Anne

Tinybeans Voices Contributor

June 28, 2021

Photo: Priscilla Du Preez via Unsplash

It started simply enough: my friend and I decided to start walking to get in shape. This goal was a vague one; we weren’t fitness gurus or anything, just two moms who wanted to move and get some fresh air in the process.

We mentioned our plan to a third mom friend, and our walking club was born. We later recruited a fourth neighbor, who also became a good friend, for our morning stroll.

We kept this up for an entire school year (since we could only do this while all seven of our kids were at school) and discovered, as a group, some amazing benefits to walking, five (yes, five!) miles every single day, in addition to fitness:

1. Walking Made Talking Even Easier for Us
When we get together, we usually don’t have much trouble with the gabfest. But somehow, walking through our tree-lined neighborhood increased our talkativeness. We covered every kind of topic you can imagine, and then some. Some days we were holding our sides while one of us shared an anecdote from childhood; another day, it was consoling a friend who might be going through a medical issue; other times, it would be fluffy celebrity gossip, a cool YouTube video we just had to check out, or even some taboo subject, that really didn’t seem like a big deal to discuss while out walking.

2. I Got to Know My Friends So Much Better Than before
Speaking of taboo subjects, I had no idea how far we would all get into certain topics. On the surface, or on playdates, it was always easier and more natural to see each other as moms, and not much else. Once we had each others’ undivided attention, we were able to have some pretty crazy, no-holds-barred convos, which really gave us a window into each others’ minds and lives.

3. We Felt Inspired to Be Better Versions of Ourselves after Each Session
After working out, we felt energized to continue our day. By extension, we ate cleaner, drank more water, and thought more positively after each walk. It was a great way to propel us through all of the tasks which lay before us once we got home.

4. We Didn’t Notice the Miles Flying past Us
When we started walking, one to two miles per session was a big deal. Pretty soon, that didn’t feel like enough, and we would keep going. Oftentimes, one of us was telling a story or sharing something personal, and we would just keep on walking just to hear the rest of the conversation. One time, we even walked seven miles, before we realized it was time to head home!

5. And…We Increased Our Stamina
Well, of course we did. You didn’t think we were going to walk five miles a day, and not improve our fitness at all, did you? (Kidding.) Not only did our bodies become stronger, but our minds and spirits did as well. (Sorry, I had to!)

This post originally appeared on The Haute Mommy Handbook.

Jen Kathrina-Anne

Tinybeans Voices Contributor

Jen Kathrina-Anne is a blogger, freelance writer, and graphic designer. When she’s not writing or designing, she enjoys spending time outdoors in the California Bay Area where she resides with her husband and two fearless daughters. Find her at www.hautemommyhandbook.com.

Your Guide to Finding a Pet Sitter

by Kenzie KramerMay 16, 2021

Who’s ready for a vacation? Yep… we all can use a change of scenery these days. Aside from the packing and prep that goes into traveling with children, you also have to figure out a plan for your fur baby if they’re not coming along. Here’s your guide to finding the perfect pet sitter:

First, What Do You (and Your Pet!) Need?

The type of pet sitter you hire depends on what type of care is required.

Is your pet used to someone being around all day?
How often does your pet need to be let outside or taken on walks?
Do you require overnight care? If you have a cat, you may just need someone to check in daily on their food/water, provide some cuddles and handle the litter box.
Are you comfortable having someone sleep in your home or would you rather have your pet go to someone else’s house?
Does your pet have special dietary requirements or medical issues?

When It Comes to Finding a Pet Sitter, Comfort Is Key.

You want to ensure you’ve found someone who is:

Knowledgeable—ask about their previous experiences and what they would do in an emergency.
Reliable—this is where good references come in handy!
Comfortable with your pet’s temperament and unique needs—they know when it’s time for playful tug-of-war or a relaxing belly rub.
Communicative—if there’s an issue, it’s important to know ASAP. And cute photos are excellent texts to receive when you’re missing your fur baby!
Trustworthy—you’ve handed your house keys over to this person, so trust is crucial!
Loving—they should treat your pet like their own!

Trying to Avoid the Expense? Rely On Friends and Family.

Before booking a professional sitter, many people ask close family/friends to care for their cat or dog. This is an easy arrangement because you already trust this person, your pet probably knows them well and they’re often familiar with your pet’s routine.

Get a Referral.

If you know someone with a pet, chances are they know a great sitter. Word of mouth is a good route, especially since this is someone you’re giving access to your home when you’re not there. Many people post pet sitting recommendations on local list servs, so be sure to search those for great referrals. Your veterinarian, breeder, and groomer may have a lot of names to pass along.

Use a Professional Service.

There are many services that help you find the right match for your pet (it’s almost like online dating between pet parents and pet sitters!). The Rover app offers boarding, house sitting, dog walking, doggy day care, drop-in visits and even grooming. Review detailed profiles, set up interviews, do meet and greets and then select a sitter. It’s easy to search for specific needs, like if your dog has mobility issues or requires a certain diet. Sitters are approved by Rover’s team of sitter specialists and have passed a basic background check. And perhaps you’ve used Care.com for babysitting? They can connect you with pet care, too! No matter what service you choose, make sure the providers have been vetted and that there are insurance policies in place.

Get Set Up for Success.

Before you head on your way, be clear about the fee and your expectations—and be specific!

Outline food, exercise, and any household/cleaning requirements. For example, you’ll want someone who is okay with cleaning up after your pet if they have an accident or tears up a roll of toilet paper!
Discuss disciple/reward methods.
Provide emergency contact information for yourself, a local friend/neighbor, and the veterinarian.
Make sure they know favorite walking routes… and where the leash and poop bags are!
Explain anything that’s off limits like being off-leash, trying to play with your neighbor’s cranky pooch, eating unlimited treats…

It may provide peace of mind to do a test run before your trip. Give your pet and the pet sitter some time to bond while you’re nearby. This way you can answer questions as they arise and see just how happy your pup or kitty is with her new BFF!

It’s Okay to Rest Your Weary Head

By Ali Flynn

Tinybeans Voices Contributor

April 8, 2021

Photo: Ali Flynn

Sometimes we all need to rest our weary head, take pause and simply sit for a moment.

It may not look pretty. We may look a mess. But, we are doing exactly what we are meant to do, at that moment.

Some days we truly need to rest our weary head.

Maybe we are in overdrive due to not being able to shut down thoughts, which perseverate through our mind, day after day, and the stress taking hold, causing feelings of isolation…but it’s okay to rest your weary head.

Maybe it’s taking on too much as a Mom and attempting to be everything to everyone, answering what feels like hundreds of questions daily, while our name is being called over and over again…but it’s okay to rest your weary head.

Maybe it’s the balance of work, friends, family, and everyday stressors taking over and suffocating who you are as an individual woman…but it’s okay to rest your weary head.

It’s okay to say no.

It’s okay to take a break.

It’s okay to feel overwhelmed even when trying your best to keep life moving forward with positivity.

So friends, no matter what is weighing heavy on your heart and no matter what is weighing you down, know this to be true:

It’s okay to take a pause and do what is meant for you at that moment.

Not what is meant for your friend. Not what is meant for your mother. Not what is meant for your neighbor and not what is meant for your sister.

You. Do what is right for you.

Do you need a break away?

Do you need ten minutes alone to regroup?

Whatever it may be, acknowledge what you need and give yourself permission to lay down your head, take a deep breath and move forward along your journey.

Your soul will thank you for the respite.

It’s okay mama to rest your weary head.

This post originally appeared on Hang in there mama by Ali Flynn.

Ali Flynn

Tinybeans Voices Contributor

Ali Flynn Is excited to share with you the joys and hardships of motherhood with an open heart, laughter and some tears. Ali is a monthly guest contributor for Westchester County Mom and has been seen on Filter Free Parents, Grown and Flown, Today Parents and Her View From Home.

The Unexpected Way My Hope for the Future Changed

By Maykayla Hazelton

Tinybeans Voices Contributor

March 8, 2021

It had been about two months since I found out that my son was autistic. I was working as a catering manager at a large charity event. The event was to raise money for autism research. I only found that out once I arrived. In between clearing tables and directing staff, I noticed the presentation began.

At this point in my son’s diagnosis, I was still a total mess. I could barely hear the word autism without breaking down, let alone watch a presentation on it in the middle of working. Despite that, I felt almost stuck in place. I knew I shouldn’t watch it but couldn’t move my feet to walk back into the kitchen.

The presentation started off dark.

The life of an autistic adult…

It was scary.

It was heartbreaking.

After a few moments of the scary, it turned light and cheerful. I think it was meant to show how important autism research was. I think they wanted the scary to provoke donations. I am not really sure though, because, by that time, I was already shattered.

I hid behind one of our catering trucks and, as tears began to stream down my face, I prayed that no one would see me falling apart.

That was the day that I stopped imagining my son’s future.

I buried those scary, dark images as far down as I could. Along with those, I buried all the dreams that I had too.

I decided right then that I needed to take things one day at a time, otherwise I would break.

I couldn’t bear to imagine these scary, sad stories of what autism as an adult would look like.

I couldn’t bear to imagine that for my baby and so I just didn’t imagine anything at all.

Fast forward a few years and I was moving into a new home.

That is when I met you—the best neighbor that I have ever had.

You look to be in your 20s, like me, although I am not sure exactly how old you are.

I have never asked, but my mom heart knows that you are like my baby.

We don’t know each other very well, but you have changed my life from across the fence.

You are the friendliest soul that I have ever met.

You live with your sweet mom and you are very helpful.

You take out the trash and hang Christmas lights.

You do all the yard work, while you sing loudly to your favorite tunes.

Sometimes we sing along with you, while we play in our yard, and that makes you giggle every time.

You greet me with a smile and a wave every day when I come home.

You make silly faces at my son to see him smile.

You bark and play with our puppy.

Your life is not dark.

Your life is happy and bright.

Your smile is contagious.

You are kind.

You care about everyone around you.

Today I was working from home when I noticed you outside shoveling our driveway.

We have never asked you to this, but you always have.

When you are finished shoveling, you come back to put salt down for us.

You don’t ask for anything in return.

As I watched you shoveling, suddenly my mind was somewhere else.

For the first time in years, I was imagining my baby all grown up.

I imagined him mowing the lawn while singing his favorite song.

I imagined him helping his neighbors.

I imagined him happy.

And just like that, everything changed.

From now on when I think of the future, I won’t think of the dark.

I won’t think of the scary.

I will think of the beauty.

I will think of the smiles.

We will still have a hard road.

There will still be bad days.

I still won’t know what the future holds but, because of you, I will have hope.

From now on when I think of the future, I will think of you.

The greatest neighbor in the world.

The one who gave me hope.

The one who gave this mama back her dreams, all from across the fence.

Thank you.

Maykayla Hazelton

Tinybeans Voices Contributor

Maykayla is a single mom to an autistic little boy. She sells yacht parties by day, plans weddings by night and navigates the world of special needs in between. She is the co-creator of A Blonde, A Brunette and Autism. She invites you to come along on her journey!

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