ML Interest Tag: nursing-home

How to Not Destroy Your Marriage While Caregiving for Others

By Natalie Maximets

Photo: Unsplash

From this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish, till death do us part…

But what if it’s not one of you two who got sick? According to the Bureau of Labor Statistics, there are 40.4 million unpaid caregivers of adults ages 65 and older in the United States. Nine out of ten people from that group are providing care for an aging relative, and the relative majority is caring for a parent.

Becoming a caregiver changes a lot, and that is not an exaggeration. Your life is different now, and you have to come up with a plan to keep your marriage alive. Here are 5 tips for caregivers about how to protect your marriage.

Tip #1. Support Does Matter
Never underestimate a caregiver’s strain on the marriage. Being a caregiver may feel like having way too much on your plate, which doesn’t become any easier over time. In fact, caregiving affects marriage a lot. For example, dealing with an aging parent can lead to caregiver spouse burnout that will inevitably affect your marriage. The important thing to remember here is that you don’t have to deal with it alone.

Caregiving won’t ruin your relationship if you build your support group with people who are ready to give you a hand or two. It doesn’t necessarily have to be your best friend on speed dial; you can also consider joining support groups or counseling sessions once or twice a week. If you find your safe place and take some time to recharge, you can stay refreshed.

Tip #2. Never Forget to Schedule Some Me-Time
Have you ever felt like caregiving is ruining your marriage? The only reasonable outcome of everyday stress is burnout. To avoid that, you need to take some time to relax and regain your energy. No doubt, it is important to find time for your partner; however, sometimes, you will have to put your physical and mental health first to function at all.

Never underrate your own needs to have a rest. Treat yourself, do that face mask, watch the sitcom you’ve planned to, and, most importantly, don’t shame yourself for being a human. Elder care and marriage can coexist if you are taking care of yourself first.

Tip #3. Communication Is Key
When your spouse is a caregiver, it takes two of you to build strong and healthy communication in your relationship. If you’re the one taking care of an aging person, the bad news is your family members have no clue about your emotional state. So they may have a hard time guessing why you are so frustrated or irritable.

Have there been times when you lost your composure over little things? And your partner is confused because your reasons are not that obvious for them as they seem for you. Spouse caregiver burnout is much more common than you think. Talk with them, explain how you feel, why you feel that way, and what you need them to do to make things better. Actually, it works both ways; they also need to be heard and listened to. Everyone does.

Tip #4. Don’t Forget to Give Your Relationship That Precious Sparkle
Just a few extra minutes of snuggling in bed can do wonders for your marriage. Caregiver spouse intimacy is not off limits! Surprise your partner with a nice bubbly bath and a glass of wine, or take an evening off to do something together.

Sometimes even the little things are enough to show that you love your partner and care about your relationship. Just do it! And maybe one time you’ll come home to see the tickets to your favorite movie, a Broadway show or opera as a thank you for all your efforts.

Tip #5. Consider Other Options
An aging parent with health problems is, in fact, a common situation for most families. It might become a real problem when your spouse is a caregiver, so you may want to explore other options, such as care services. In-home caregiving help can become a lifesaver as you will still have some control over your parents and keep your life balance.

A nursing home gives you back the intimacy of your home, and what’s more, you can stop worrying about your parent’s wellbeing. If your parent has a chronic disease or other health issues, you can also consider a geriatric doctor. Talk with your parents and your partner to figure out what works best for all of you. Remember to keep their interests in mind as it’s not about choosing between a spouse and an elderly parent.

Marriage and caring for aging parents are not mutually exclusive. As long as you put some effort into handling your family-life balance and maintaining harmony at home, nothing is impossible. Patience and understanding are crucial for working through this complicated stage of your life. Just remember to choose your priorities and work out a strategy and stick to it.

 

I'm a certified life transformation coach at OnlineDivorce.com and a freelance writer with expertise in mindfulness and sustainability. In addition, I'm a published author focused on the most progressive solutions in Psychology. I help people go through fundamental life challenges and build an entirely new life by reframing their personal narratives.  

Advertisement

Related reads

Advertisement

7 Ways to Spread the Love on Valentine’s Day

By Natalie Silverstein

Valentine’s Day is a sweet opportunity for kids to share love and kindness with friends and family. It’s a day filled with hearts, flowers, and candy and serves as a bright spot during the long winter months, especially this year. Like most holidays, it has been commercialized over the years, with store shelves filling with boxes of chocolate, cards, and gifts starting in early January. Americans will spend over $21 billion dollars celebrating Valentine’s Day this month.  Not surprisingly, most people (73% of those surveyed) feel it is even more important to celebrate the holiday this year as we struggle to find happy moments in the midst of the ongoing pandemic. 

Showering love and affection on our children, partners, and loved ones is so important, but I’d like to suggest that we re-focus our Valentine’s Day celebrations just a bit. We can make our kids feel special while also giving them the opportunity to spread the joy of the holiday to others. We can move away from spending lots of money on gifts that people don’t really need and flowers that will end up in a landfill while helping kids flex their “empathy” muscles and experience the warm, wonderful feelings that come from helping and caring for others. 

Here are a few ways to spread the love of Valentine’s Day to those who might be struggling in your own community and around the country.

1. Create Cozy Nights for Kids in Need: Donate new pajama’s to children who are homeless, in foster care, or living in domestic violence shelters in your community. The Pajama Program is a national nonprofit organization that promotes and supports a comforting bedtime routine and healthy sleep for children facing adversity. Since 2001, they have provided over 7 million cozy pajamas and inspiring storybooks to children, as well as critical resources for parents & caregivers to support children at bedtime.  The Pajama Program provides resources to help you host a donation drive, and identifies a local organization that will accept your donations.  Financial donations are also always welcome.  You can donate to the Pajama Program or to a similar organization, Family-to-Family, which provides new pajamas, a soft blanket, and a cuddly stuffed toy to children living in poverty.

2. Give Warmth & Snuggles to a Child in Foster Care: On any given day, there are more than 400,000 children living in foster care in the United States. Together Rising is a national nonprofit working to transform the way children experience foster care.  Around Valentines Day, they spread love and hope by giving 500 Snuggle Kits, which include a stuffed bear and soft blanket, to children in foster care.  Through the buy one/give one program, you can purchase a Snuggle Kit for a special child in your life, and they will give one to a child entering foster care (or you can donate both kits). 

3. Connect with an Isolated Senior: Create colorful, simple valentines with messages of friendship, kindness, and support and deliver them to a local nursing home or senior outreach program. You can also bundle up a stack of letters and send them to Love For Our Elders or Letters Against Isolation.  Both websites provide more detailed instructions and information.

4. Give Dignity & Beauty to Women in Crisis: With just a few small toiletry and beauty items purchased at a dollar store, you can create beauty bags for women living in homeless or domestic violence shelters in your community. Items can include lipstick or lip balm, shampoo, a toothbrush and toothpaste, fuzzy socks, hand lotion, or soap. You can use a gallon zip lock bag, or a small paper gift bag decorated with stickers. Be sure to include a cheerful note wishing the recipient a Happy Valentine’s Day and reminding her that she is beautiful.  

5. Create Valentines for Our Veterans: Our veterans and active-duty military often spend holidays alone or far from loved ones, and receiving a cheerful message from your family can brighten their day immeasurably. Soldiers Angels is a military support organization with a simple motto: May no soldier go unloved.  You and your kids can create cheerful valentines expressing love and support, and mail them (along with a $1 donation per card) to Soldiers Angels.  The $1 donation helps to defer the cost of packaging boxes of valentines and sending them to deployed troops around the world and VA hospitals here in the United States.  

6. Recycle Those Flowers: Have you ever wondered what happens to all of the Valentine’s flowers that remain unsold at the end of the day on February 14th? There are organizations around the country that collect and repurpose floral arrangements, keeping them from landfills and providing cheerful bouquets for seniors in nursing homes and hospitalized children. Some examples include Bouquets of Kindness, Random Acts of Flowers, and the Reflower Project. Through a quick internet search, you might find one of these organizations in your own community.

7. Notice the Heroes All around You: Encourage your kids to write notes of gratitude to all of the many people who keep them safe, teach, coach, and help them, every day.  From the crossing guard or security officer at school, the classroom teacher (whether virtual or in-person), the doorman or maintenance worker in your apartment building, the postal carrier or delivery person—anyone who interacts with your child on a daily basis would be delighted to receive a heart-shaped note, a small box of candy or even a sticky note with a few scribbled words of appreciation. Never underestimate how a kind word or action from you and your kids can change someone’s day and make them feel loved, which is, after all, the purpose and power of Valentine’s Day.

Natalie Silverstein
Tinybeans Voices Contributor

Natalie Silverstein, MPH, is the NYC coordinator of Doing Good Together. She is a writer, speaker and consultant on the topic of family service. Her first book Simple Acts: The Busy Family's Guide to Giving Back was published in 2019 and her second book for teens will be published in 2022.

Advertisement

Related reads

Advertisement

Turn MLK Day from a “Day Off” into a “Day On”

By Natalie Silverstein

Photo: Natalie Silverstein

One of my favorite quotes about service is from Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr.  In one of his final speeches, given two months before his death, he said, “Everybody can be great because anybody can serve. You only need a heart full of grace. A soul generated by love.”  While most parents with school-aged children know that the third Monday in January has been designated as a holiday honoring Dr. King’s birthday—and providing a day off from school—not many people are aware of the history of this commemoration, and the way it has been transformed into a day of service over the last 25 years.

The campaign for a federal holiday honoring the slain civil rights activist began soon after his assassination in 1968. President Ronald Reagan signed the bill creating Martin Luther King, Jr.  Day in 1983, and it was first observed in 1986. However, in 1994, two veterans of the Civil Rights Movement who had worked with Dr. King, Representative John Lewis of Georgia and Senator Harris Wolford of Pennsylvania, co-authored legislation to create The National Martin Luther King Jr. Day of Service, a nation-wide effort to transform the federal holiday honoring Dr. King into a day of community service to help solve social problems. It was their hope that a national day of service, inspired by Dr. King’s ideals, would galvanize volunteers to create meaningful change and uplift local communities. They wanted to honor Dr. King’s legacy by making the observance of his birthday a “day on” rather than simply a “day off.”

While some may only recognize the long weekend in the middle of January as an opportunity to take a road trip or go skiing, the movement behind the MLK Day of Service has grown in recent years, and acts of service are now carried out in all 50 states. AmeriCorps (a federally supported volunteer program) and the Atlanta-based King Center for Nonviolent Social Change lead the MLK Day of Service in partnership with numerous national nonprofit organizations, faith-based and community groups, state service commissions, and other government agencies. Thousands of volunteers across the county deliver meals, refurbish schools and community centers, collect clothing and food, build homes, and provide services for veterans and military families, among many other acts of service and kindness.

Many schools, houses of worship, and community organizations encourage volunteerism on the MLK Day of Service by providing opportunities and events, sometimes extending these throughout the weekend and pairing them with workshops, discussions, or speakers. If you haven’t had a chance to experience one of these events in the past, this may be the best time to get involved. After the difficult year we’ve all experienced, we are reminded of the countless acts of kindness and sacrifice that helped to get us through and will continue to inspire us in the months ahead.  A day of service in the first month of this new year feels especially powerful and motivating. If you and your family want to kick start your kindness practice from home, or you want to learn how to give back in your local community, the MLK Day of Service is the perfect opportunity. There are so many small, actionable ways that you can turn an ordinary day off from school or work into a meaningful day ON in service of others and the greater good.

If you are looking for ways to help in your local community, check out these resources:

If you are looking to kick-start your kindness practice with some “kitchen table kindness activities” at home:

  • Paint Stars of Hope for people in communities experiencing trauma

  • Write letters to isolated seniors through Love For Our Elders or Letters Against Isolation

  • Color printable sheets for veterans, hospitalized children, nursing home residents, or anyone in need of a smile through Color a Smile

  • Create blankets and donate them to children in need of comfort through Project Linus

  • Write letters of gratitude and support for our active-duty military and send them to Operation Gratitude

  • Back cookies or make cards for your local first responders, to show them how much your family appreciates all they’ve done for us this past year

However your family is inspired to get involved, take the MLK Day of Service (this year celebrated on Monday, January 18th) as the perfect opportunity to start a conversation with your children about service, empathy, and civic duty. Create a new family service tradition around the holiday, and start this new year with a positive intention and a sense of purpose which might just move us all closer to Dr. King’s vision of a “beloved community.”

 

Natalie Silverstein
Tinybeans Voices Contributor

Natalie Silverstein, MPH, is the NYC coordinator of Doing Good Together. She is a writer, speaker and consultant on the topic of family service. Her first book Simple Acts: The Busy Family's Guide to Giving Back was published in 2019 and her second book for teens will be published in 2022.

Advertisement

Related reads

Advertisement

5 Easy Ways to Volunteer as a Family, Even with a Busy Family Schedule

By Natalie Silverstein

Much has been written about the over-scheduled child. Family calendars are packed with so many extra-curricular and enrichment activities, it’s a wonder that children have time to eat, sleep and finish homework. And while kids are so busy, they (and we) are increasingly disconnected from each other as we are drawn to devices and screens. 

Parents are searching for ways to reconnect, to keep kids grounded and grateful and to fight against the rising tide of negativity and cynicism. I believe that family service is the answer—a proven way to achieve these goals for your own family while improving the lives of others in your community. 

Volunteering together helps parents raise compassionate, empathetic kids with the added bonus of creating warm family memories. But how can you find the time, in the midst of all the other commitments crowding a busy family’s schedule?

There’s no question that there are many benefits to volunteering with kids and that it is worth the time and effort it often takes to do so. Inevitably, though, saying “yes” to service means saying “no” to something else. It will require a little bit of planning, some creativity, an open mind and most importantly, a sense of purpose. 

Prioritizing service demonstrates to your children that helping others is important—just as important as soccer, piano lessons or any of the other commitments that fill the calendar. As the author Laura Vanderkam wrote in her essay, Are you as busy as you think?: “Instead of saying ‘I don’t have time’, try saying ‘It’s not a priority for me’ and see how that feels.”  

1. Start early to create life-long habits of kindness.

Even young children can engage in service projects at home, or join older siblings and parents on special outings, like delivering groceries to the food pantry or cleaning up a local park. If you start while children are young and incorporate service into daily routines, giving back will become a habit, woven into the fabric of your family life.

2. Let the school calendar, holidays and seasons help you create new family traditions around service.

At the end of each month, take a few moments to identify upcoming holidays, days off from school and family milestone celebrations when you might volunteer together. At the change of season, work with kids to sort through gently used, outgrown clothing and outerwear for donation to children in need. 

At the end of summer, host a lemonade stand and donate proceeds to childhood cancer research, or fill backpacks with essential supplies for kids in under-resourced schools. In the fall, identify a soup kitchen that can use your support at Thanksgiving. 

As the winter “giving” holidays of Christmas and Hanukkah fill the calendar with festivities, find an opportunity to make wishes come true for children in need through toy drives or “adopt-a-family” programs. The important thing is to find a project that resonates with your family and be sure to include the activity in your calendar each year.

3. Incorporate service into things you are already doing.

If your child is hosting a playdate with a few friends, add a kindness activity to the afternoon of fun. Kids can bake cookies and create cheerful cards to deliver to your local fire station, police precinct or nursing home. 

When planning your child’s birthday party or other milestone event, ask them to select a charity they’d like to support with their celebration and incorporate a donation drive or related hands-on service project, or ask for donations in lieu of gifts. 

4. Try “kitchen table kindness” activities at home.

You don’t need much to engage kids in kindness activities. With some crayons and a piece of construction paper, a child can write a letter or draw a picture for a lonely senior, a member of our active duty military or a hospitalized child.

5. Practice random acts of kindness as you move through your day. 

Every day presents countless opportunities to practice kindness with kids. As you head to the market, offer to pick up groceries for a homebound neighbor. Bring a hot cup of coffee to the crossing guard on a cold day (or a cold drink during a heat wave). Pick up trash as you walk around your neighborhood. Hold the door and smile at the next person coming through the entrance. Allow your kids to leave a few coins in the tip jar at the coffee shop. 

Your one small, simple act might have a ripple effect in changing a person’s day and the gratitude your child receives will make them feel great, too.

Finding time for family service allows you to live your values while spreading compassion and joy in a world that is in desperate need of both. Children feel pride in serving and reap the benefits of flexing their empathy “muscles.” There is no magic formula—parents simply need to keep an open heart, an observant eye and a positive intention. 

Every day and in every busy schedule, there’s always time to do good.

Natalie Silverstein
Tinybeans Voices Contributor

Natalie Silverstein, MPH, is the NYC coordinator of Doing Good Together. She is a writer, speaker and consultant on the topic of family service. Her first book Simple Acts: The Busy Family's Guide to Giving Back was published in 2019 and her second book for teens will be published in 2022.

Advertisement

Related reads

Advertisement

What’s Kitchen Table Kindness & 10 Ways You Can Practice It

By Natalie Silverstein

So, your kids may be home for an extended period of time in the coming weeks. Perhaps they will be off for a planned Spring Break and your travel plans have changed. Or maybe schools will be canceled out of an abundance of caution over the spread of Covid-19. Maybe you live in a part of the country that is still waiting for the start of Spring and you are buried under a blanket of snow. Regardless of the circumstances, lots of downtime at home can lead to frustration and boredom. I’d like to suggest an addition to the usual line-up of books, homework sheets, games, craft projects and screen time: service. 

What if we all shifted our focus a bit and spent some time gazing outward toward people and organizations that could benefit from our kindness and outreach? While volunteering in the community may be impossible during these challenging days, there are lots of “Kitchen Table Kindness” activities that can keep children meaningfully engaged while spreading kindness to others whose struggles may have nothing to do with the spread of the coronavirus.

In my work as an advocate for family and youth service, I often recommend at-home service activities for families with children who might not be welcome to volunteer in the community because the kids are too young. However, all of the following projects can be done by children of all ages, and you likely have most of the supplies in your home (or can easily order them online for delivery).

1. Write letters and cards for children who are being treated in the hospital.  You can send them to Cards for Hospitalized Kids or Send Kids the World.  Send Kids the World allows you to search a database so you can direct your letter to a specific child. The Cards for Hospitalized Kids website includes important guidelines on appropriate language to use in your letters (for example, you never want to say “feel better”). The use of glitter and glue should be minimized. Construction paper and crayons or markers are all you need to work on this easy and meaningful project.

2. Similarly, your kids can make colorful birthday cards and send them to the Confetti Foundation which supplies birthday parties for hospitalized children.

3. Kids can decorate plain paper placemats with cheerful messages and drawings, and these can be donated to your local Meals On Wheels program. You can search the national Meals on Wheels website to find your local branch.

4. There are many ways that your family can support our active-duty military, their families and veterans.  Organizations like Soldiers Angels, Operation Gratitude, and Support Military Families collect cards, letters, hand-knit scarves, para-chord bracelets and others items for care packages that are shipped to our servicemen and women who are serving far from home, and to the home-front families who miss them.

5. Do you have some fleece fabric sitting around?  Consider making no-sew blankets for Project Linus, which provides hand-made blankets for children in need, or donate them to a local nursing home to be used as lap blankets. 

6. Fleece scraps can also be used to make chew toys or pet blankets for donation to your local ASPCA or animal shelter. Ideas and instructions can be found online.

7. Do your kids love to draw? Check out Color a Smile which distributes cheerful drawings to senior citizens, our troops overseas and anyone in need of a smile. You can download printable coloring sheets from the website and let your kids go wild.  Once you’ve collected a stack of beautiful drawings, send it along to Color a Smile which has given out over a million smiles over the last 25 years.

8. Order an arts and crafts kit from Stars of Hope. Stars of Hope is an organization that grew out of the tragedy of 9/11 which empowers people to share messages of love and hope through hand-painted wooden stars. Each “Box fo Hope” includes 15 wooden stars, paint, brushes and instructions. After your kids have painted the stars, you can box them up and send them to a community that is recovering from a natural disaster or other tragedy. 

9. Take a look around your own neighborhood. Is there an elderly, homebound or ill neighbor who might need some groceries, some help or just a phone call to check-in? Can your kids spend some time on the phone, Skype or Facetime with a far-away relative who hasn’t seen them in a while? Think about the people in your family who might appreciate hearing from you, who would enjoy sharing a laugh or a warm word of affection during an anxious time. 

10. Finally, if your kids are a little older and they are interested in learning more about a social justice issue—the environment, poverty, hunger, educational access for girls around the world, homelessness, etc.—sit with them and help them through some internet searches of reputable sources of information on these subjects.  Spend time talking about the work that is being done and how they might get involved. 

This is a particularly fraught time for everyone, especially parents who need to manage their own fears and anxiety while keeping children calm. If we are going to be stuck indoors together—and it is increasingly likely that this will happen to many Americans—perhaps we can use this time to spread joy and kindness. We can remind ourselves that as dire as our own situation may seem, someone, somewhere is likely having a more difficult experience. By helping our children to spend some of their time actively engaged in serving others, even from the confines of our own homes, we can find a glimmer of hope and optimism in challenging times.  

Natalie Silverstein
Tinybeans Voices Contributor

Natalie Silverstein, MPH, is the NYC coordinator of Doing Good Together. She is a writer, speaker and consultant on the topic of family service. Her first book Simple Acts: The Busy Family's Guide to Giving Back was published in 2019 and her second book for teens will be published in 2022.

Advertisement

Related reads

Advertisement

23 Ways to Improve Your Weekly Lockdown Schedule

By Jenni Dawn

Our collective calendar looks a bit different nowadays. The daily to weekly monotony began to sink in for us, so I decided to spice up the schedule. Homeschool still applies somewhere in the morning, but as that dwindles away into summer, this may help with the unusual transition this year.

Here’s what I came up with, and it’s been a welcomed adjustment for all in the family! 

MINDFUL MONDAY: Start the week with an open mind.

1. Ask questions over breakfast. Ask anything and everyone gets a turn. You never know what your child might ask. One day, our little one asked, “When all the humans are gone, will the dinosaurs come back?” This led to lots of dinosaur extinction discussions and worthwhile videos. His mind was working as opposed to the usual waffle chit-chat.

2. When on a walk in the neighborhood, name everything that the sun is touching. Find the letter “A” on license plates and street signs. Seek out the most interesting mailboxes (my personal favorite, like the neighbor who transformed their mailbox into a “free library” as well.)

TUNES on TUESDAY: Singing a different tune now, kids.

3. Play some music in the background (parent’s choice) all day long: Think Otis for breakfast, Patsy for lunch, and Mozart for dinner. 

4. Listen to the sounds outside, in the backyard or on walks. On a breezy Tuesday, try laying under the trees and listen to the leaves rustle with your little. “Watch them dance” as my son surprised me by saying. 

5. Order a windchime (or make if you’re craftier than me) for any outdoor nook (respecting neighbors of course). Our new addition was a ten buck wooden find and it’s lovely! 

WACKY WEDNESDAY: It’s a wacky world, so go with it.

6. Want to wear a costume all day, go ahead! Or want breakfast for dinner, no problem!

7. Want to take a shower instead of bath? Sure! Works for me! 

8. Want to listen to a kid’s story via a podcast during snack? Sure!

9. Want to write “mom” on my forehead, depends on my mood…

THOUGHTFUL THURSDAY: Feels good to think and do for others, more than ever.

10. Mail some artwork with a note to grandma, a school friend, or a stranger (like a nearby nursing home that could use some cheer). 

11. Write in chalk on the sidewalk to spread a positive phrase for the neighbors.

12. Help with meal prep, do an extra chore, and tidy the toys.

FAVORITE FRIDAY: Play favorites, the right way.

13. Eat a favorite cereal, sandwich and/or pasta.

14. Wear your favorite t-shirt or hat.

15. Read your favorite book or story.

SUSTAINABLE SATURDAY: Children are our future.

16. Water plants or veggies and/or plant something new. 

17. Take all recyclables to the recycling bin.

18. Support a local farmers market.

19. Do a nature activity like rock art or an outdoor scavenger hunt. 

20. Look through stuff and find the shoes that are getting tight, shirt too snug, or a toy past its prime, and give three things away (parents too).

21. Feeling lazy? Watch a video or show about the planet and going green! “Here We Are” on Apple+ was a huge hit in our house on Earth day and every Saturday since!

SIMPLE SUNDAY: Let it go (your schedule, not a movie reference)

22. Self-play and rest as needed.  

23. A night off from cooking can benefit all around. If you’re able, order from a local restaurant to show support during this time. They probably could use it.

Any variation of the above can work for your family. We need tricks up our sleeves for month three and find some joy in everyday.

Hope you stay Safe, healthy, and full of love

 

Jenni Dawn lives just outside of Los Angeles with her husband, newly rescued dog, and four year old son. She has a background in everything Entertainment, so it makes perfect sense to cover how to entertain family at home. Jenni's also a Cancer survivor with a passion for spreading hope and prevention advocacy. 

Advertisement

Related reads

Advertisement

How to Teach Your Kids to Be Amazing Philanthropists

By Jacquelyn Oldham

There are so many different types of philanthropic efforts children can and should participate in, and with Thanksgiving right around the corner, now is the perfect time to let your kids know about the importance of giving. It’s a good practice for the mind, body, and soul! Philanthropic efforts aid children in developing their social and emotional skills such as inclusivity, compassion, gratitude, empathy, and acceptance.

A child’s world is naturally very small. They’re most familiar and comfortable with what they know, which is usually reflected in their own immediate families. Broadening their understanding of the world is crucial to creating, what we call at The Little Gym, Citizen Kids. Citizen Kids are well-rounded children who can appreciate the differences they see in others and learn to contribute to the world in a positive way.

Developing a philanthropic mindset and instilling a service heart in children begins at home, with their parents and loved ones. Children are influenced not only by the words of their loved ones but even more so, their actions. Volunteering as a family is a fun way to spend quality time together and to show them how far kindness and compassion can reach. And kindness is contagious!

Here are some ideas to get you and your family started!

For Children 3 Years or Older

1. Build homeless packs and have them in your car. In a large Ziploc baggie include small personal hygiene products, feminine products, socks, granola bars, fruit snacks, and a bandana. As a family, you can make it a monthly activity to put these together and have them on hand to pass out to the homeless in your community when the opportunity arises. It showcases thoughtfulness and kindness to your child. Simply roll down your window and hand them out, no need to get out of the car.

2. Set-up a lemonade or popsicle stand to raise donations for a children’s charity or not-for-profit that you and your children can connect with. There are many local organizations right in your backyard that need your support, as well as, more widespread organizations across the country.

3. Get moving with your children for a good cause! There are awareness walks all around the United States that you and your family can get involved in. Choose one, raise the money and walk as a family in support of a local or regional non-for-profit. Whichever walk you choose, be sure to educate your children on the “why” this is so important. You can even make the walk a “family tradition” of sorts!

4. Organize a “Travel Bag Drive” in your driveway! Encourage your friends and neighbors to donate new or gently used backpacks, duffle bags, etc. to a box on your front porch and donate them to your local CASA organization. Court Appointed Special Advocates is a national association in the United States that supports and promotes court-appointed advocates for abused or neglected children in order to provide children with a safe and healthy environment in permanent homes. These children are often only given a black trash bags to carry the few personal items they have. By collecting these bags and donating them, you are providing a child with a sense of identity in a time of difficulty. Allow your children to write notes or draw pictures and place them in the bags as an additional act of kindness.

5. Create “self-appointed” Park Protector badges! When you take your kids to the park, have them wear their badge and spend the first 10 minutes combing the park for trash. Simply make it part of your park routine! This really showcases how “we all play a part” in protecting our planet and hopefully developing a life-long respect for mother nature!

For 5 Years Old or Older

1. Got a young performer on your hands who is looking for an audience?! Why not reach out to a local nursing home or assisted living center to see if they’d be interested in “showcasing” your child’s talents. What a beautiful way to spread positivity and joy to others. If you don’t have, or aren’t a performer yourself, you could simply volunteer to stop in and play board games or simply listen to their stories. This is a great way to expose your younger children to the older population and showcasing that each person, no matter age, can develop positive and respectful relationships. This is an important service opportunity that can bring light and joy to the residents of these communities.

2. Create a “Family Service Calendar”  where you choose one service opportunity per month for you and your family. Don’t overwhelm yourself with feeling like you have to do grandiose projects each and every month. Try picking 4 months out of the year for the bigger ideas and then sprinkle the smaller ones into the remaining months.

Remember, no act of service is ever too small and it will only further develop your bond with your children and their social and emotional intelligence, leading to a well-rounded “Citizen Kid.”

Experienced Director in Curriculum and Training with a demonstrated history of working in the entertainment, education, health wellness and fitness industry. Skilled in nonprofit organizations, event planning, customer service, franchising, entrepreneurship, coaching and sales. 

Advertisement

Related reads

Advertisement

8 Kids Under 12 Who Are Changing the World, Right Now

by Shahrzad Warkentin

When things seem a little bleak, you can always count on the kindness and imagination of young kids changing the world for a little uplifting inspiration. It’s amazing what these pint-sized innovators and activists are capable of achieving at such an early age and we can’t wait to see what they do next.

Keep reading to learn more about some of these incredible kids making a big difference in the world.

This 5-Year-Old Is a Superhero to the Homeless

rocnation via Instagram

Austin Perine is on a mission to help the homeless with his Show Love campaign. Wearing a superhero cape, Austin, accompanied by his dad, spends his free time delivering food to the homeless. Check out his inspiring story and what he’s accomplished here.

This 11-Year-Old Gives Back One Stitch at a Time

Jonah's Hands via Instagram

Jonah Larson, also know as the “crocheting prodigy,” has been running his own crocheting business since he first learned how to crochet at the age of five. Not only is he amazingly talented, but he donates profits from his business to the orphanage from where he was adopted in Ethiopia. Check out his beautiful handiwork and story here.

This 11-Year-Old Helps Make the Elderly’s Wishes Come True

Wishes for Ruby's Residents via Facebook

Ruby Kate Chitsey is giving nursing home residents a reason to smile—by granting their wishes. Raising $30,000 in a GoFundMe campaign is just the beginning of what she has accomplished to help the change the lives of the elderly in her home town. Check out her entire amazing story here.

This 9-Year-Old Author Is a Young Jane Goodall

PR by the Book

After a family trip to South Africa, Kate Gilman Williams knew she had to do something to help endangered wildlife. She turned her passion for animals into a children's book that encourages kids all over the globe to be advocates for wild animals. You can learn more about her book here.

This 9-Year-Old Wants More Representation from Disney Princesses

BBC Radio Nottingham via Twitter

Growing up with glasses, Lowri Moore sees the world through a different lens. She wants to make sure that girls everywhere can grow up feeling beautiful and accepted, which is why she has challenged Disney to make a princess who wears glasses. Read about her inspiring letter campaign here.

This 8-Year-Old Wants to Give the World a Hug

Official RosalynLoves via Instagram

When Rosalyn Baldwin learned about five police officers killed in Texas in 2016—followed by the deaths of three more officers just weeks later in Louisiana—she was moved to make a difference. Now she’s on a mission to give out hugs to police officers across all 50 states and she’s already more than half way there. Learn more about her campaign, RosalynLoves, here.

This 4-Year-Old's Motivational Speech Will Have You Running to the Library

Brilliant Little Leaders via YouTube

Master Caleb Stewart is only four, but he already understands the power of reading and how important books are in our lives. Not only does he understand, but his wise-beyond-his-years words will inspire everyone that hears him. Check out his amazing motivational speech here.

This 8-Year-Old Is Smashing Gender Stereotypes, One Cereal Box at a Time

Daliah Lee via Change.org

Daliah Lee from Canberra, Australia started a petition to get Kellogg’s to change its cereal boxes after noticing that the package design only featured boys. Even when the company failed to respond the first time, she didn’t give up—and in the end her efforts paid off big time. Check out her incredible story here.

—Shahrzad Warkentin

Featured photo: iStock

 

RELATED STORIES:

27 Feel-Good News Stories That Teach Your Kids the Power of Compassion

This 8-Year-Old’s Act of Kindness Will Restore Your Faith in Humanity

75 Simple Acts of Kindness Any Kid (or Grown Up) Can Do

Advertisement

Related reads

Advertisement

This 5th Grader Selflessly Raised $30,000 to Grant Wishes to the Elderly in Need

by Shahrzad Warkentin

Ruby Kate Chitsey spends a lot of time in nursing homes, despite the fact that she is only 11 years old;Ruby Kate’s mom, Amanda Milford Chitsey, is a nurse practitioner serving five nursing homes near Harrison, Arkansas. After discovering that many residents were in need of some cheering up and extra care, she launched a campaign and raised money to grant wishes.

During the summer Ruby Kate, likes to accompany her mom to work and spend time with the residents and last year she got the idea to give them some much needed joy. She came up with a plan to grant wishes for the residents, with a project she called “Three Wishes for Ruby’s Residents.”

“They weren’t new cars or a million dollars [they wanted]. They were very simple things that you could just go in Walmart and get—and that’s what we do,” Ruby Kate told CNN.

To help make those simple, but life-changing wishes come true, Ruby Kate’s mom helped her set up a GoFundMe campaign. She has since raised $70,000 and granted hundreds of wishes from basic needs like blankets and pillows, to Happy Meals and dolls for dementia patients.

Ruby Kate’s mom couldn’t be more proud of what her daughter has accomplished and her work is not over yet. “I think Ruby’s starting a movement—recognizing a need and just doing something about it. This is about their quality of life—bringing them joy,” Chitsey said.

—Shahrzad Warkentin

Featured photo: Nick Karvounis via Unsplash

 

RELATED STORIES:

12 Ways Kids Can Give Back without Leaving the House

(Nearly) Effortless Ways You Can Help End Food Insecurity

8 Easy Ways Your Kids Can Give Back All Year Round

Advertisement

Related reads

Advertisement

8 Easy Ways Your Kids Can Give Back All Year Round

by Amber Guetebier
Partner Content

In Partnership with Amazon Fire Kids Edition Tablets

It’s so important to give back to our community, and this is one of the biggest lessons we try to teach our kids. We all know sometimes volunteering with the kiddos can be tricky, to say the least. But if your kid has an Amazon Fire Kids Edition Tablet, giving back and doing good is easier than you think. We asked parents and kids alike for ideas on how to use their Amazon Fire Kids Edition tablets to make a difference in their neighborhood. Read on to find out what they said! 

1. Give some love to an animal shelter.

llipkind via Pixabay

Make the Toca Pet Doctor game they found in their Kindle FreeTime Unlimited library a real-life activity—even if you can't have an animal of your own at home. With a never-ending supply of great kids books in any of the Amazon Fire Kids Edition tablets, kids can practice reading to shelter animals. Libraries across the country offer this great way for children to gain literacy skills and confidence, and many shelters also welcome the idea. Find out if your local pet shelter or animal rehab would like to organize a time for kids to read to pets—they can bring that indestructible Fire Kids Edition 7 along with.

2. Gather old toys and donate them to a local organization.

Adobe Stock

Whether it’s the post-gift-giving holiday season or your kiddo has a birthday coming up soon, every parent loves a good toy purge. This year, why not teach your little ones about the power of giving and receiving by having your kids go through their toys and books and encourage them to donate to others in need. You can take your kid-approved donations to places like pediatrician office waiting rooms, daycare centers or churches and synagogues (just make sure to check with them first). Police and fire departments also welcome toys to help to calm distraught kids, too.

Before you start making “keep” and “donate” piles with your kid, you can start the conversation about giving with your kids via shared storytime on the Amazon Fire Kids Edition tablet: books like Shel Silverstein’s The Giving Tree and The Berenstain Bears Think of Those in Need by Jan and Stan Berenstain are great places to start.

3. Host a bake sale to end child hunger.

Bria Blum via Unsplash

No Kid Hungry is committed to making sure kids never go hungry. One of the ways they meet this goal is through the Bake Sale to End Child Hunger. This national fundraising initiative is simple: you hold a bake sale in your community, and the proceeds are donated back to the organization. Getting started is easy and bake sales can be held any time of the year. Simply fill out the "Start a Bake Sale" online form and enter the dates, locations and times.

If your kiddo is a rookie in the kitchen, don’t worry: you can prep your mini sous-chef by watching a few episodes of Kitchen Little on Amazon Fire Kids Edition tablets. They have great, easy-to-follow recipes for kids of all ages and cooking abilities.

4. Visit a senior center or nursing home.

rawpixel via Pixabay

Let your kids get artsy and practice their writing, all while doing an act of lovely community service. If your child needs to work on their handwriting before committing crayon to paper, there are plenty of awesome practice letter writing apps available for little hands on one of the Amazon Fire Kids Edition tablets.Your local nursing home or senior living facility could always welcome holiday and birthday cards for residents; call ahead and see if they can give you a list of first names for upcoming resident birthdays.

Want to go one better? Find out if your children can spend some time at a nearby nursing home showing residents how to use tech like Amazon Fire Kids Edition tablets. Kids can find games, shows and books to do together with the residents. (And you know your kids know their Fire Kids Edition tablets better than you do!!)

5. Give your DVDs a new home.

Leah Singer

With FreeTime Unlimited—a one-year subscription is included with you buy one of the Amazon Fire Kids Edition tablets—the more than 15,000 kid-friendly books, videos, educational apps and games at your kids’ hands have likely turned your DVD collection into a “Definitely Very Dusty” collection.

Help your kids pick out the DVDs they don't watch anymore and give them a new home (because let’s get real: is your five-year-old really going to watch Baby Einstein anymore?). Children's hospitals, libraries, women’s shelters and daycare centers often welcome such donations. Elementary schools may also take some of your gems (rated G, of course).

6. Make a homemade comfy blanket.

Project Linus via Facebook

Linus from the Peanuts comic isn't the only person who knows the value a comfy blanket can bring. Project Linus understands too, and they make it their mission to provide homemade security blankets to kids in hospitals, shelters or wherever they need a bit of comfort in their lives. You and your family can become "blanketeers" by creating a handmade blanket or afghan for a kiddo in need. Once you're finished, you drop it off at one of the organization’s donation centers in your closest city.

Not a sewing pro? No problem! Check out this short video tutorial showing how to make a no-sew pillow via Amazon Prime Video.

7. Create hygiene and care kits for people who are homeless.

StevePB via Pixabay

Many often think about people who are homeless during the holiday season, but in truth, they need help 365 days of the year. Get the conversation going by reading books like Maddi’s Fridge, Last Stop on Market Street or Those Shoes with your kids one of the Amazon Fire Kids Edition tablets.

Hygiene and care kits (sometimes called “blessing bags”) are extremely helpful and welcomed by those living without the comforts of simple personal hygiene every day. Families can take kids shopping for items under $5 such as toothpaste, toothbrushes, deodorant, new socks, hand sanitizer or wet wipes and assemble them in Ziplock bags. Families can then distribute bags on their own or bring them to a local homeless shelter.

8. Shop for your family while donating to organizations important to you.

WOCinTechChat via Flickr

Did you know that by making one teeny, tiny change to your online shopping at Amazon, you can make a donation to an organization of your choosing every time you shop? The AmazonSmile Foundation donates a portion of purchases to an organization shoppers choose—all without costing anything extra. Visit smile.amazon.com to pick your charity of choice and start donating with every purchase you make.

Parents you can shop directly on any of the Amazon Fire Kids Edition tablets: turn off parental controls to access the Silk web browser—just don’t forget to turn the parental controls back on when you’re finished!

How do you get your kids involved in giving back? Tell us your ideas and share your stories in the comments.

—Leah R. Singer, Susie Foresman, Keiko Zoll, Amber Guetebier

featured image by kko669 via Pixabay

8 Easy Ways Your Kids Can Give Back All Year Round

Advertisement

Related reads

Advertisement