Photo: Devin Tomiak

We all want our kids to grow up to become happy adults. But what is happiness? A fulfilling relationship with a partner? A rewarding, high-paying job? Close friends? Good health? A helluva sale on your favorite Trader Joes Pinot?

“Happiness is an achievement,” read the teabag tag on my recent cup of Blackberry Apple Cider Digestive Awakening tea. The idea that happiness doesn’t just happen to people is common sense, of course. Our collective experience shows us that life is a series of struggles, some small and some not so small. Rest assured, a costly ding to your bumper waits just around the next bend. Or news of an irregular Pap smear. Or a poke in the eye.

Happiness is a game of hide and seek—a search for joy underneath the bed and behind closed closet doors. It’s the struggle to overcome addictions. It’s the challenge to make peace with that which you cannot change. It’s figuring out how to appreciate the goodness in your life in spite of the pain. No matter what it is for you, it’s a freaking beast to get there.

So if we all know that happiness is not something that exists in a vacuum without problems, if we all know happiness takes work, why don’t more people put in the effort to achieve it? And that’s not to say everyone I know is miserable, but if happiness comes to us through effort, why not work hard to get more of it? Why be happy only on the weekends? Or only when your team wins the playoffs? Why not be happy most of the time?

As it turns out, the personal qualities that make us “happy” in life, are the same things that make us “resilient.” Gratitude, optimism, self-regulation, empathy, healthy habits like exercise and eating well. The work of happiness is also the work of resilience. And we know resilience is no fun—it means problems. Sure, you’re overcoming those problems, but they’re still problems.

Interestingly enough, research shows that when we’re happy, we become better at working hard at healthy pursuits and creating the mental patterns that make us happy.

Did ya get that?

Put in the effort to get happy and getting happy will make you want to put in the effort.

“When we are in a positive mindset, our brains become more engaged, creative, motivated, energetic, resilient and productive at work,” states a May 2015 Washington Post article, entitled “How to teach our children the art of happiness.”

So what do you teach your kids to prepare them for the happiness slog? What’s the overarching message that is going to make your child want to do the work to be both happy and resilient?

Perhaps it’s simple.

Maybe it’s just TRY. Put in the effort. Work hard.

Work hard at school. Work hard in the professional world. Work hard to resist getting on social media when you’ve already been on it for an hour. Work hard to get your meds right and take them if you need them. Work hard to eat broccoli, when you’d rather feast on Mesquite Barbecue Lays. Work hard to connect with others even if that’s just talking to the sales clerk at the gas station. Heck, work hard to take time off working hard; work hard at self-care and relaxation. And teach your kids it ain’t easy. Don’t expect it to be.

After all, happiness is an achievement. Teabags don’t lie.

This post originally appeared on The Biggies Conversation Cards Blog.

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How I Found Happiness Within Disappointment

After losing a brother to suicide, Devin Tomiak was driven to understand youth resiliency. Her personal mission to strengthen her relationship with her children, develop their emotional intelligence, and improve the communication skills of her whole family led her to create The Biggies Conversation Cards for elementary-aged kids.

If your kids got hooked on Gabby’s Dollhouse they weren’t alone! The first season premiered on Netflix in January and quickly became a top 10 show on the platform. Good news for Gabby fans: the second season is coming out on August 10!

The show is a mix of live-action and animation, inviting kids into a magical dollhouse with Gabby and her feline friends. Episodes include DIY crafts, science experiments, original music and more! Season two’s trailer promises “more baking, more crafts and more cat-tastic music.”

Aimed at the preschool crowd, the show emphasizes the importance of finding creative solutions to overcome mistakes. As Gabby says, it’s ok to “fail fantastically,” which builds resilience. The show’s creators are the minds behind Blue’s Clues so you know the plots are rock solid! While your fam waits for season two to come out, you can follow Gabby’s adventures on YouTube.

—Sarah Shebek

Featured image courtesy of Netflix

 

RELATED STORIES

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Dear Daughters,

This week is the last week of school before summer break begins, and what a year it has been. During a global pandemic, online school, and several hardships, you made it.

This school year was rough. You spent the school year at home, working on makeshift desks. Your schoolwork was scattered around your bedroom floors instead of in lockers or cubbies. You couldn’t stand side by side with your friends during concerts, plays, and performances. There have been no laughter-filled cafeterias, crowded hallways, trips to the school library, or bumpy field trip bus rides.

Your teachers worked with you through computer screens and zoom squares, your counselors supported you, and your peers wanted to be with you. However, I was the lucky one to see you in person every day this school year.

I saw all of you overcome social anxiety and show your face on zoom. I saw you make new friends and include the ones that were left out. I saw you stand up for yourself when you were mistreated. I saw you advocate for yourself, block bullies, and speak up. I saw you work hard even when not feeling up to it. I saw you overcome stage fright to sing your song and act in your play. I saw you try new foods and conquer new recipes. I saw you fix broken technology, read new books, and learn new languages. I saw you gain patience as you worked through frustrating assignments. I saw you come up with practical solutions for tough projects. I saw you become best friends with each other. I saw you swallow your pride, and you ask when you needed help. I saw you take breaks when you needed peace. I saw you keep going when you wanted to give up. I saw you help around the house without being asked, and I saw you take pride in your personal space. With our home as your classroom, I got to see you grow smarter, wiser, and kinder every day.

The solitude was unfair, and I am sorry there are no in-person ceremonies or celebrations with certificates. Your achievements deserve to be celebrated. So, as you close your laptops one last time this school year, know that if it were up to me, dear daughters, you would win the award for resilience, and you would get honors in strength and a medal for perseverance.

You will never forget this school year; it was unlike any other. As you prepare for in-person school again, I hope that you hold your mom-given accolades in your heart. For they hold lessons of bravery wrapped in love, and they shaped you into who you are now. Stronger, braver, brighter, and ready for whatever comes next. I am proud of you, and you should be proud of yourself too.

I love you.

—Mom

RELATED:
Helping Kids Re-Enter Their Post Pandemic Social World
How to Cultivate Positivity to Combat COVID Stress

This post originally appeared on www.jamieedelbrock.com.

Jamie is married to her high school sweetheart and has three beautiful daughters. Through years of experience working with children, and raising her own, she knows how difficult parenting can be. She is an advocate for children's mental health and is best known for her creativity, optimism, and kind heart.

Sometimes you just have to love your way through.

My son is 16. He is semi-verbal on the autism spectrum. He was diagnosed as severe. Sometimes he can speak a little. Sometimes he can’t. Sometimes he has good days. Sometimes he does not. There are hopeful moments. Like this year he is starting to trace letters for the first time ever! A huge milestone. We celebrate those achievements.

Once in a while, I send him messages from my phone and he sends me a sweet word back. Other times there’s silence. We are grateful for the times he has some language.

Sometimes it’s hard, like really hard, the hardest of hards and it hurts my heart and makes it so heavy. I worry for the future when we’re gone. Who will take over? Who will love him as much as I do but be able to bear this all too? Sometimes it’s confusing. Like when he cries and we don’t know why. Is he in pain? Is he sick? Is he just sad? He can’t tell us. We just guess and love our way through it all.

Sometimes he seems so capable and we’re like, ‘We got this! It’s not so hard after all!’ Then he has regressions. We watch as he slowly loses a skill that he worked so incredibly hard at. It just slips away. Sometimes it comes back. Other times we have to start from square one.

We change bedding almost every day. Sometimes, we need to change clothes during the day too. Sixteen years in. You can’t really call it ‘potty training’ anymore can you? It’s not about the laundry. It’s the setbacks after working so hard to overcome obstacles and difficulties. It’s feeling like you finally made it out of the baby stages only to go back again. It’s the regressions without explanations or reasons. It’s the constant ‘why’ without answers. It’s the starting over again and again. It’s going backward when everyone else seems to be going forward. Sometimes it’s everything at once. Beautiful, heartbreaking, hard work, celebrations, hitting milestones, regressions, starting over. It’s a constant roller coaster of emotions. But the one constant that will never change is our enormous love. A love so strong it carries us through.

This post originally appeared on https://www.facebook.com/theautismride.
Feature image via iStock

Hi! My name is Laura and I'm a mom of two beautiful kids in Vancouver, Canada. I write a blog on Facebook called The Autism Ride, all about the ups and downs in life with our teenaged son on the spectrum.

It is no secret that military men and women sacrifice a tremendous amount for our country and our freedom. Army, Navy, Air force, Marines, Coastguard, National Guard, all have a unique mission, but make sacrifices some cannot even fathom.

Their children however never even signed up for this life but make daily sacrifices as well and deserve to be recognized. April is Month of the Military Child! We proudly celebrate this month in our household because my children are military children. They have had to be resilient beyond their years at times and have risen to the occasion and overcome many challenges in their short life.

They have lived in three states in the past five years, gone a full year without their Dad at home, and just recently have been told they will be leaving Columbia and moving again this summer. They were not too happy about that and kept asking “Why?” The “Why” is because their Dad is in the military and unfortunately we have very little say in where we live; something that gets increasingly more challenging as kids get older.

My children made it very clear they love where we live. They love their school, friends, and neighborhood and they don’t want to move. Sadly it’s just part of military life and I would be lying if I said all of the upcoming changes didn’t keep me up at night. My kids don’t get to have that consistency other kids may have and that is very difficult. I moved around a lot growing up as well so I can relate to these big feelings. Having to start over in a new state is difficult at any age. The unknown can be scary. But if there’s one thing military children are—it is resilient!

They learn from a very young age that plans can change at any time and they have to make the best of an otherwise tough situation. When the military calls, their parent may leave for a few weeks, months, or even a year. So many feelings and emotions surround being a military family and I teach my children that it is healthy to talk about the struggles and to find others who can relate. Reaching out and finding other military children with similar experiences can be the biggest blessing in not feeling so alone on this journey.

There are of course so many positives to being a military child. For starters, my children get to live in many different places and see different parts of the country they otherwise would not even know existed. They have recently also learned about F16s up close and even sat in the cockpit during a special family day on base. This is a unique experience and one they will cherish for years to come.

As they get older my children are becoming more aware of the unique sacrifices their Dad makes and have great pride in what he does. They admire and look up to him and other men and women in uniform. He is their hero and I hope they grow up with a sense of pride and honor in being a military child. So this month and every month let’s celebrate the thousands of brave military children across the globe and the important role they play in our communities.

Caitlyn is a military spouse and mom to three children and one fur baby. She was an elementary school counselor before becoming a stay at home who enjoys coffee, hiking, and playing in the dirt with her kids. 

It’s nearly time to close the book on this non-conventional school year. You could say we’ve had a book thrown at us, as we’ve learned that teaching our kids is no easy task. Here are some printables to send some much-deserved gratitude to our teachers! Feel free to fill out an award or two for yourself–you’ve earned it!

PS: Another great way to say thank you to your favorite teacher: The gratitude-packed book Dear TeacherThis so-sweet book thanks all the people that empower and inspire little ones to be themselves and overcome all of life’s obstacles—making it the perfect gift for the last day of school! Learn more.

And the Award Goes to…

Who wouldn’t love having the title “World’s Best Teacher” bestowed upon them? (Parents, good news–you’re in the running this year, too!)

Click here to get this Certificate of Appreciation printable.

Dear Teacher

Let your little one’s creativity soar with this completely customizable printable.

Click here to get this Dear Teacher printable.

 

Filled to the Brim (with appreciation)

This cute fill-in-the-blank thank you note will pop with your child’s personal touch.

Click here to get this Thank You Note printable.

Many Ways to Say Thanks

Thanking them in a multitude of languages makes this thanks extra-special.

Clic here to get this Thank You Printable.

Cute Fruit

A “berry” adorable way to say thanks!

Click here to get this Berry Amazing printable.

It’s Raining Tacos!

Um…we wish because tacos make everyone smile, as will this silly and sweet thank you!

Click here to get this Taco Thank You printable.

Albert Einstein once said, “If you want your children to be intelligent, read them fairy tales. If you want them to be more intelligent, read them more fairy tales.

As a young girl, I remember my parents reading me a story every night at bedtime. My favorite book was Cinderella. As I listened, I would close my eyes and picture the story in my mind. As soon as the storytelling would begin, the boundary between the life of Cinderella and everyday life seemed to quickly disappear. And the ending was never a surprise (and that was my favorite part) for I was safe in the knowledge that through it all—lost slipper or bad fairy, the princess would marry the prince and get to live in the larger than life palace just beyond the sunset, happily ever after.

Fairy tales teach us about empathy and compassion, relationships, and the difference between good and evil. These stories are more than just happily ever after. They portray real moral lessons thru characters and virtue shown in the stories.

Some of the benefits of reading fairy tales to your children include:

  • Giving kids a place to learn the idea that life isn’t always easy and people don’t always have your best interests at heart. These stories give parents a way of gradually introducing their children to the idea that there are some bad people in the world. At the same time, it’s a way of reinforcing the importance of being kind, thoughtful, and true.
  • Fairy Godmothers, talking animals, evil witches—anything is possible in a fairy tale! Our world needs more imaginative and creative thinkers. When our minds are opened to all sorts of ideas and possibilities as children, we develop an out-of-the-box thinking style. When presented with a problem or challenge, children with vivid imaginations will come up with wonderfully unique ways to overcome those challenges.
  • Sharing stories can be a very powerful way to help children navigate complex and moral subjects. They learn and discover their actions have consequences and can affect other people’s feelings, as well as impacting their own emotions.
  • Without being explicitly known, children learn that hard work pays off and that sometimes delayed gratification is necessary. Fairy tales provide answers to what the world is really like and a child’s place within it.
  • Fairy tales encourage children to develop their own creativity. Most fairy tales do not include detailed outlines of the characters which encourage children to make up their own mental picture of the characters. The vague descriptions of places and events also help children develop their imaginations by envisioning what is happening in the story. This creativity, in turn, will be an invaluable skill for children in later life.

There are many versions of the same fairy tale. Gone are the days when all the main characters looked virtually the same. Now children from all over the world can glimpse different cultures through these stories and see themselves reflected as well. Often, these versions depend on the culture of its author.

These stories not only provide us with pieces of our background but enlighten others to something different. Fairy tales have the power to change lives. They can inspire a person to be something greater than they are, and become the person they want to be. The power of fairy tales can give people strength in their weakest moments, and lead them down a path they wouldn’t originally have the courage to walk.

Most young children aren’t remotely aware that they’re learning life skills. For them, all that matters is the moment, when a good story whirls them away into new worlds. One of the reasons I believe love fairy tales remain so powerful is that extraordinary things happen to ordinary people. In a fairy tale, a young girl lost in the forest, can find food and comfort in a houseful of bears.

Through her vibrant picture books, illustrated by her brother Zeka Cintra,Isabel strives to introduce kids to a world where diversity is valuable and beautiful. Fantasy, representativeness and diversity are common themes in her editorial production. She currently resides in Stockholm, Sweden with her husband and daughters.

I was challenged to write a piece about a word that I would erase. I chose the word Label and here’s why: 

Red flags. 

There were always red flags. 

I didn’t want to see them. 

I didn’t acknowledge them

I didn’t want to admit that something wasn’t right. 

I justified. 

I enabled. 

I made excuses. 

I was scared.

Not of autism.

Looking back I didn’t even know enough about autism to be scared of it. 

The label. 

The label was what I feared the most. 

I vividly remember thinking that something isn’t right, but a label isn’t going to make anything better. 

To me a label was failure. 

It was a limitation. 

It was closing the door on my son’s future.

It was giving up. 

And it was this beautiful journey of autism that showed me how wrong I was. 

Because that label saved us. 

That label is something I am so proud of now.

That label got my son everything he needed and more. 

That label took away his limitations.

It gave him a fighting chance.

That label created a glass ceiling that he shatters every day.

That label gave me the most amazing support system with other moms that children received that same label. 

The best decision I have ever made was making sure my son received the label of autism. 

Coming to terms that the label will always be apart of our lives was a hard pill to swallow. 

It’s still something that sometimes gets the best of me. 

But in the quiet times of the hard, it’s something that I couldn’t be more thankful for. 

I think back to that mom that was at the beginning of the journey. 

A journey she didn’t want to embrace.

A journey she didn’t even know she was on.

A journey she wanted to go away.

A journey that she couldn’t imagine being part of her life.

A journey that would change her for all the right reasons. 

That mom opened her heart to that label. 

She made a decision to accept that label and everything that came with it. 

The good. 

The bad.

The pretty.

The ugly.

The setbacks. 

The victories. 

And that same mom that was so scared of that label, realizes now there was nothing to fear. 

That mom now embraces that label.

That mom now loves that label.

Because that label was always there.

That label was always part of her son.

Intertwined in those red flags that she didn’t want to see.

In those red flags that she now sees and embraces because of that label. 

Don’t fear the label my friends, fear the life you would be missing out on without that label. 

That label will always be part of what makes my son who he is.

That label will never determine what he can and cannot do.

But that label will always make me proud of anything we face and overcome.

And for that, I will always be thankful that the label of autism is a part of our lives. 

And as for that mom starting on a journey she never thought would be part of her life, I hope she’s just as proud of me as I am of my son. 

We’ve both come such a long way since we received the label.

And together we will continue to walk over shattered glass. 

 

Shannon is a proud boy mom, Hairstylist, and passionate Autism Advocate. She lives in New Orleans, Louisiana with her two sons Murphy (5) and Merrick (2).  Murphy was diagnosed with Autism at the age of 3. Follow her family as they journey through Autism together on Adventures in Autism with Murphy Facebook and Instagram page. 

Many books on children’s anxiety have been written, but which ones really help? How many of these books are based on Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT), a method considered to be the most effective in lowering anxiety? Not so many. This article will help you separate the “cute” worry books from the really effective ones that you and your child will use over and over.

For this article, I reviewed many children’s anxiety picture books. I was somewhat dismayed that only a few are solidly based on CBT (described below) or any other research-based techniques to reduce worry. The first 5 books listed are rooted in CBT and are highly recommended. The remaining 4 are popular children’s worry picture books that will give your child an opportunity to discuss worry. These picture books go up to age 12 years.

CBT in Children’s Worry Books

First, let’s learn about CBT. This science-based method is based on changing the thoughts and behaviors that trigger or worsen anxiety. There are three main steps in CBT:

1. Identify the negative thoughts. For example, “My Worry Monster is telling me that Mom won’t pick me up after school.”

2. Challenge the negative thoughts. Following our example, “You are wrong Worry Monster, you lie!” The child can say it, write it, or draw it. It is very empowering to talk back to a worry.

3. Replace the negative thought. Ideally, a child should replace the worry with what is true. For example, “You are a liar, Worry Monster. My mom is coming to pick me up after school!!”

Another strategy in CBT is containment, which means containing a worry in space or time as discussed in the fifth book.

1. Shrinking the Worry Monster, A Kid’s Guide for Saying Goodbye to Worries  by Sally Baird, Ph.D. and Kathryn O. Galbraith

“Worry Monster has been whispering mean things to kids and making them feel terrible. Now it is up to Brooklyn and Jackson to discover the monster’s secret—and stop him!” This delightful story, written by a child psychologist and a children’s book author, is based on all three steps of CBT and offers time-tested methods to help overcome worry and fear. Several appendices help parents and caregivers use CBT tools most effectively. 

2. Wilma Jean and the Worry Machine by Julia Cook

Meet Wilma, who worries so much she is a worry machine! This fun book, written by a school counselor, offers CBT strategies in the form of identifying worries and then challenging the worry by deciding whether it is controllable or not.

3. What To Do When You Worry Too Much, A Kid’s Guide to Overcoming Anxiety by Dawn Huebner, PhD

“Did you know that worries are like tomatoes? You can’t eat them, but you can make them grow, simply by paying attention to them.” This clever workbook uses CBT to help kids overcome anxiety. It contains lively metaphors and how-to-steps sprinkled throughout. This may be the “grandmother” of all worry self-help books! 

4. Help Your Dragon Deal with Anxiety by Steve Herman

Dragon was wasting time “over worry and distress. He suffered from anxiety and fretted to excess!” The pet dragon has many identified worries and asks numerous “What if” questions. Worries are identified in this rhyming book with steps 2 and 3 of CBT subtly identified. 

5. The Worry Box: A Picture Book for Comforting Anxious Children by Suzanne Chiew

“Murray Bear is supposed to go to the waterfall with his sister, Molly, to meet a friend, but Murray is worried.” This lovely picture book uses the CBT technique of containment. Murray has many worries which keep him from activities, but he finds that when he puts the worries in a box, he can have fun. 

6. When My Worries Get Too Big by Kari Dunn Buron

“Sometimes kids have worries, but they also have things they are very good at.” The book does an excellent job of identifying worries with a focus on rating the worry and then using relaxation techniques to lower anxiety. Although not CBT, it is a very useful book. 

7. Ruby Finds a Worry by Tom Percival

One day Ruby “finds something unexpected. A Worry. It’s not a big Worry at first. But every day it grows a little bigger.” Ruby identifies that she has a worry, however there are no examples of what worries she has or how to talk back to a worry. 

8. The Don’t Worry Book by Todd Parr

“Sometimes you worry. Worrying happens when you feel afraid something bad is going to happen.” The author identifies numerous worries for small children. The worries are not challenged or replaced, but rather distracting and comforting activities are provided. 

9. Wemberly Worried by Kevin Henkes

“Wemberly worried about everything.” “Then it was time for school to start. And Wemberly worried even more.” This book does an excellent job of identifying many worried thoughts. There are many online activities related to this book. 

What You Need to Know about Children’s Worry Books

When choosing a worry book for your child, do get one that really helps your child with anxiety. In one creative form or another, the first five reviewed books give children and caregivers important CBT steps to identify, challenge, replace, or contain the worry thoughts that are plaguing them. The remaining books are valuable in opening a conversation with your child about worry and in offering other strategies to reduce anxiety. If you know of other researched-based books on worry, please do submit your thoughts on my website so others can see them.

 

This post originally appeared on www.drsallyb.com.

I am a child psychologist who specializes in children's anxiety. I just published a top seller children's book titled Shrinking the Worry Monster, A Kid's Guide for Saying Goodbye to Worries. I love sharing ideas about decreasing worry in children, especially now. I also love to hike and bike in beautiful Pacific NW. 

Even now, after 12 years, I still have difficulty connecting with my daughter and that terrifies me. She has grown into such a beautiful vibrant little girl with extraordinarily strong thoughts and a hyperdrive to succeed. Being a child with autism, ADHD and dyslexia has not slowed her down one bit. But it has run me over, broken me, and forced me to face the bitter truth about what kind of woman I was. I so admire her strength to continue to pursue life with great intensity despite the multiple hurdles she must overcome daily. But that was not always the case.

I remember watching her at the early age of one and thinking she is so ahead of the game. It caused me to reflect on my own childhood. I failed kindergarten and was called quote “a hopeless case” by my first kindergarten teacher. She told my mother this with great vigor at a parent-teacher conference as I sat directly beside her.

The first week of school, she pulled my desk away from my peers off into a corner all my own, where I spent the entire year. She held great disdain for me, and I was painfully aware of it. My second year of kindergarten was magnificent and although I struggled in math, I excelled in English and was a model student. I fell in love with my teacher who never stopped pushing me. I flourished under her and I cried when the year was over. When one teacher said there was no hope for me another teacher said I was bright and capable of excelling my peers. And so, I did.

While I had no diagnosable issues there was clearly a delay in the area of math and it followed me up until high school. It affected every area of my life and I’ve had to work five times harder to overcome the insecurity that came with it.

So when my daughter started to display severe insecurities in the area of sleep, I bulked at her. My answer to her intense fears of the dark was to force her to face the dark alone. Which is exactly what happened to me as a child.

The difference was she was not capable of stuffing her fears down and dealing with it like a neurotypical child. She was out of control. Wailing well into the wee hours of the night. Sobbing for hours on end and refusing to stay in her bed. Her fears of night rolled over into everyday life. It wasn’t just the night she was terrified of, it was now public places and strangers.

A once bossy independent toddler was suffering from sleep deprivation and on the days when her nights were decent she no longer enjoyed venturing out into the world she used to love to command.

After a year or so of trying to force my square-shaped daughter into a round hole, I had, had enough! Not of her but of myself. I was disgusted at how poorly I dealt with her pain. I was appalled and disappointed at how hard I worked to hide her anxieties with nighttime from friends and family.

I took a sharp left turn out of the land of “typical parenting” and into the land of “what can I do to help?” I left the world of “my way or no way” and entered a place of I will prefer my daughter’s needs above my need to present my family in a particular way.”

I was happy to be imperfect. I rebelled against the judgment and unsolicited advice from family and I did what I felt was best for my daughter. I embraced her and her pain. I laid in the bed with her at night instead of on the floor waiting for her to shut up. I talked to her tears and screams until I could reach her.

Our biggest breakthrough came in the form of a lullaby. It was the first time I really tried to connect with her. My hope was to help her to see the good parts of bedtime through music. She gravitated to the song. I would often hear her singing it throughout the day. It became our go-to first thing at night. It was our song. She found bravery in it and I found a way to connect and understand.

I was so fearful of being a failure to everyone around me. But I was failing my daughter as I pursued an impossible life of perfection. The very thing I was trying to hide has literally become an open book for all to see. I boldly chose to record the lullaby and self-publish a book about my daughter’s turmoil with bedtime titled: “Showdown at High Moon: Queen Takes a Stand.” She is so proud of the book/song and me, this does something to my heart that I cannot describe.

It is a travesty when we as mothers, women, parents, and humans refuse to engage in patience, love, and creativity when raising our children. To refuse to transform and grow on behalf of the one who was God-given because you have plans to force them into a vision all your own is the definition of evil.

It requires a great deal of fear, bitterness, and selfishness to withhold love. I was withholding love from my daughter. She has literally changed me. I am a better mom because of her. I am a better woman because of her. And I thank God our worlds collided, and she won.

Hello. Terah here. I am a proud wife and mommy of three kids, two of which are on the Autism spectrum. As a freelance writer, recording artist and author, I share life stories in hopes to inspire and encourage others to want better in life.

Patience, Love & Creativity