Andy Cohen shared a seriously relatable parenting moment featuring his 4-year-old’s epic tantrum

Stars: they’re just like us. Well, not really. But their kids sure are! Here’s the proof: Andy Cohen, who just returned home from his latest book tour, was welcomed by his toddler son promptly having a meltdown over having to share a bite of a cookie with his little sister. Parents everywhere feel this in their bones.

Dad-of-two Cohen shared the hilariously relatable video on his Instagram.

“Welcome back from book tour, Daddy!” he wrote in the caption. In the video, we see him trying to reason with 4-year-old Ben, who is already in full meltdown mode.

“So you’re crying because I gave you a cookie? Is that why you’re crying?” Cohen asks as Ben wails in the background.

It turns out that it’s not really about the cookie, but the fact that Cohen broke off a piece of it to give to Ben’s 12-month-old sister, Lucy.

“Because I ripped a little piece off for Lucy so that you would share with her? Well, I think it’s nice for you to share,” he says, as Ben continues to sob.

At the end of the video, Cohen arrives at the natural solution: “I shouldn’t have given you the cookie; maybe none of these problems would’ve happened.”

[Cue all parents nodding their heads in recognition.]

Cohen (and Ben) found plenty of sympathy from his famous friends in the comments. Sharon Stone joked, “Learning to share is a life long ego struggle buddy.” Cheri Oteri joked, “Wait till you say, you can’t go if Lucy can’t go. Someone’s going through the wall!”

Don’t worry, Andy. The toddler years do end eventually. Good luck in the meantime.

These gentle parenting books can help you foster trust, empathy, and respect with your kids

When it comes to parenting there’s no one right way to do it. But if raising kids with empathy, respect, and kindness is at the forefront of your parenting strategy, gentle parenting just might be your thing. It focuses on positive communication, and encourages parents to trade discipline and punishment for kindness and understanding to shape behavior and support kids through some of those tougher stages (we’re looking at you, terrible twos and threenage years). Trust, respect, and open communication are the pillars of this theory. The end goal is mutual respect and trust between kids and parents. Curious to learn how you can incorporate these strategies into your everyday? Break open one of these gentle parenting books and get reading.

whole brain child book cover is a gentle parenting book

1. The Whole-Brain Child by Daniel J. Siegel & Tina Payne Bryson

If you’re parenting a toddler we bet you’ve figured out that using logic to temper their tantrums is about as effective as renaming broccoli “magical trees” to get your kid to eat a vegetable. In The Whole-Brain Child,  neuropsychiatrist, Daniel J. Siegel, and parenting expert, Tina Payne Bryson, team up to explain brain development in kids in an easily accessible way for parents. They also offer 12 key strategies to raising happier, calmer kids.

Buy it here, $13

parenting with love and logic book cover has been around for a long time as a gentle parenting books

2. Parenting with Love and Logic by Charles Fay & Foster Cline

The Love and Logic approach to raising responsible kids isn’t a new one. In fact, it’s been around for 45 years. But even if you’ve read this one before, a refresher never hurts, especially since the Love and Logic principles can be applied from toddler through teen years. Focused on empowering children to make their own decisions without ceding parental authority, what you’ll find in these pages helps you pair natural consequences with empathetic listening.

Buy it here, $17

Related: 10 Books That Will Help Your Kids with Their Social & Emotional Growth

the concious parent book cover gentle parenting books to know

3. The Conscious Parent by Dr. Shefali Tsabary

If you’re looking for a different take on parenting, try The Conscious Parent. Dr. Shelfali Tsabary explains that although many parents believe it’s our responsibility to mold our kids through discipline and consequences, it’s actually quite the opposite. In this book she show that “our children are born to us to create deep internal transformation within us.” One read will help you embrace a more mindful, conscious approach to parenting.

Buy it here, $10

gentle parenting book the peaceful parent cover with a mom and child smiling at each other

4. Peaceful Parent, Happy Kids by Dr. Laura Markham

The subtitle of this book says it all—how to stop yelling and start connecting. In it, mom and clinical psycholgist, Dr. Laura Markham, uses brain science and experience to give parents practical tools that help them develop strong, loving connections with their kids. If you’re looking for that Aha! parenting moment, the strategies outlined in this book can lead the way.

Buy it here, $12

book cover for no drama discipline with mom and kid in blue showing gentle parenting

5. No-Drama Discipline by Daniel J. Siegel & Tina Payne Bryson

Written by the same team that brought you the first book on our list, No-Drama Discipline gives parents the tools they need to help their kids learn from their mistakes and develop self-control. It provides an “effective, compassionate road map for dealing with tantrums, tensions, and tears—without causing a scene.” Sounds too good to be true, right? Give it a read to find out.

Buy it here, $12.50

Related: 5 Ways to Deal with Toddler Tantrums without Losing Your Cool

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All images courtesy of retailers.

I’ve heard people say that Bluey, the beloved-among-Millennial-parent Australian animated kids show about a family of blue heeler dogs, is actually “an adult show that kids happen to like”—a tongue-in-cheek reaction to one of the best kids’ shows made in recent years. But I’m not sure that’s totally right. It’s made for kids; it’s just that there are some Bluey episodes that understand parents and kids in a way that seems unique.

Bluey’s parents, Bandit and Chilli, feel real. They make mistakes. They get frustrated with—and even bored of—their kids. Those kids, meanwhile, (like ours) busy themselves making up games on the fly with rules that are constantly changing. Bluey and Bingo engage deeply in a world of their own imagining that is messy, often full of disagreements, and genuinely hilarious. Of the 130 or so Bluey episodes in existence, the following 15 truly capture parenthood at its most ridiculous and rewarding.

Season 2, Episode 10: Rug Island

Relatable parenting moment: Our kids make us young again.

When Bandit has to go to work, the kids instead convince him to stay and play on “rug island,” an island they’ve made in the backyard out of a rug, where everything is made of different color markers. At first, Bandit doesn’t get the game. He tries to make the rules. But once he follows Bingo and Bluey’s rules and engages fully with the world they’ve created (even doing so in front of another grown-up), he’s able to play uninhibited, like a kid again.

 

Season 1, Episode 43: Camping

Relatable parenting moment: It’s magical. 

In the fan-favorite “Camping,” Bluey and her family are camping in the bush, or what Australians call the wilderness (don’t worry, after a few Bluey episodes, you will be well-versed in Australian. I personally can’t stop calling our garbage cans the “wheelie bins”) when Bluey meets another kid. He only speaks French, and Bluey only speaks English, but they quickly realize they don’t need a common language and fall into a natural rhythm of play.

One day Bluey goes to his tent site and finds his family has left. Sad, she asks her mom if she thinks she’ll ever see him again. Chilli says she doesn’t know but that the world is a magical place. They flip off their flashlights and look at the night sky, full of stars, and it does feel magical. I won’t spoil the ending for you, but it’s one of the best in the series.

Season 1, Episode 34: The Dump

'bluey episode the dump
Bluey TV

Relatable parenting moment: We make mistakes.

When Bluey’s dad Bandit takes her to the recycling dump, Bluey discovers he’s throwing out a bunch of her old drawings. At first, she’s upset. And her dad is upset, too. He feels like he made a mistake—not so much in throwing away the art, but in letting Bluey see that he was throwing away the art.

In another kids’ show, he may have apologized, explained the benefits of recycling, and asked Bluey to pick some of her favorite drawings to save. But this isn’t a typical kids’ show. Instead, Bandit explains that Bluey draws a lot of things and they aren’t all meaningful to him. But if she throws these away, they can become paper for other kids to draw more things on, which convinces her to let them go.

Season 1, Episode 14: Takeaway

Relatable parenting moment: Your kids are only young once.

This Bluey episode is for the parents. Bandit takes the kids to pick up takeout, a simple task that should take five minutes max. And yet, as the episode understands, tasks that should take five minutes are never done when kids are involved.

After a series of hilarious mishaps, each one more frustrating for the last for Bandit, who just wants some spring rolls, the kids end up flooding the sidewalk, peeing in a bush, ruining all the menus, and knocking over the food. In true Bluey fashion, Bandit considers getting angry, but after reading a fortune cookie, decides instead to just roll with it and let the kids play in the water. After all, you’re only young once.

Season 1, Episode 3: Keepy Uppy

Relatable parenting moment: Sometimes we go too far.

A classic and one of my toddler’s favorites—mostly because it taught him the game where you keep a balloon from hitting the ground which we now play ad nauseam. It has one of the best lines in the series. When Bandit makes the game too intense and ends up accidentally popping the balloon, he says, “Did I make it a little too fun? It’s a hard one to get right.” It is a hard one to get right. The whole parenting thing in general, I mean. And I think he does, too.

Related: Kids Are Catching Parents with This Silly Viral Bluey Prank

Season 2, Episode 41: Octopus

bluey episode octopus
Bluey TV

Relatable parenting moment: We aren’t always the best at everything.

“Octopus” is a great antidote for when you’ve watched a ton of episodes and feel like the worst parent in the world because you could never play pretend that well. Bluey’s friend Chloe comes over and plays a game called Octopus with Bandit and Bluey. When Chloe tries to recreate the game with her dad, she finds that he can’t do it the same as Bandit. After a frustrating few tries, she tells her dad he’s “not as fun as Bluey’s dad,” and we see how hard he takes it.

But rather than trying to recreate the game exactly, Chloe and her dad realize they need to make up their own rules that suit their family. It’s a sweet episode, and I honestly wonder if the creators didn’t throw it in there just to remind parents: Hey, this is just TV. You’re doing ok. 

Season 1, Episode 39: Copycat

Relatable parenting moment: Our kids’ capacity for love can surprise us.

It isn’t easy to deal with death in a kids’ show. When Bluey finds a hurt bird, she and Bandit take it to the vet, where it ends up dying. Back at home, Bluey, distraught, suggests they play a game back where they reenact the situation. Her mom assumes Bluey wants a different outcome—she pretends the bird in the game lives this time—but Bluey says no. She doesn’t want to fix the situation, just to process it. She wants the bird to die in the game, too.

It’s an interesting thing for a kids’ show to do, but something about the misunderstanding on Chilli’s part and Bluey’s impulse to recreate a sad event seems incredibly realistic, and it’s what makes this episode stand out.

 

Season 2, Episode 22: Bus

Relatable parenting moment: Playing with kids can be fun and frustrating at the same time. 

“Bus” is one of my favorite episodes because it shows the whole family playing pretend together in a way only the Heelers can. The family feels like a seasoned improv troupe: Their “yes and” skills are impeccable. Realistically, it’s impossible to play this well with small children. But it’s fun to watch Bandit and Chilli navigate it with fun, creativity, and humor—the way you would if you were a slightly better parent with a whole lot more time on your hands (to play with your kids more and to take classes at your local improv theater).

Season 1, Episode 8: Fruit Bat

'bluey episode' fruit bat
Bluey TV

Relatable parenting moment: Being a parent means making sacrifices for our kids.

This wins the award for Most Beautiful Bluey Episode. When Bluey says she wants to be a fruit bat instead of a kid so that she can do whatever she wants, her parents suggest she dreams about being a fruit bat instead. She does, and we see her soaring over her neighborhood only to spot her dad, who is playing football with his friends, something he gave up when he had kids. She, of course, realizes that everyone—fruit bats, kids, and parents—can’t always do whatever they want.

Season 2, Episode 9: Bingo

Relatable parenting moment: Our kids have different strengths.

This is my two-year-old’s favorite episode, so I have to include it, mostly because I’ve seen it roughly 200 times (this morning). When Bluey is out for the day, her little sister, Bingo, has to play by herself without her, which proves challenging. It’s a fun role reversal where Bingo gets to be in charge for once. But according to my son, the best part is when Bingo leaves the fridge open for too long, it beeps at her, and she declares: “The fridge doesn’t like me.” He laughs every time.

Season 1, Episode 22: The Pool

Relatable parenting moment: We mess up. A lot. 

This one goes out to all the parents who can’t remember to bring sunscreen to save their lives. When Bandit forgets to bring sunscreen (and everything else) to the pool, the kids are limited to playing in the shade, which gets progressively smaller as the day goes on. Relatable.

 

Season 2, Episode 27: Grandad

'bluey' episodes Grandad
Bluey TV

Relatable parenting moment: Sometimes you need your parents, too.

In this episode, Bluey, Bingo, and Chilli visit Chilli’s dad, who is recovering from heartworms (a clever play on a heart attack but for dogs.) Chilli wants him to rest, but he wants to run around with the kids. They share one of the best moments in the series when Chilli asks if he remembers playing with her like that a long time ago, and he says, “It wasn’t a long time ago; it was yesterday.” The show reminds us that your kids are always your kids, and your parents are always your parents, no matter how old.

Related: Don’t Worry, Parents: More Episodes of ‘Bluey’ Season 3 Are Coming

Season 2, Episode 39: Double Babysitter

Relatable parenting moment: Your mistakes can be someone else’s win.

The Heelers accidentally forget to cancel their babysitter when Bandit’s brother agrees to babysit, so both parties show up, and the kids ask if they can both stay. The babysitter and their uncle are attracted to each other, and the kids fuel the fire with how they include them in their games. It’s a perfect setup for a meet-cute and should be a full-length rom-com immediately. The best part? In the next episode, they Facetime from their honeymoon.

 

Season 2, Episode 44: Duck Cake

Relatable parenting moment: Failure doesn’t mean you aren’t doing a good job.

A TV show about a cartoon dog making a cake shaped like a duck should not make you cry, but here we are. Bandit is trying to make a duck cake for Bingo’s birthday while also trying to get Bluey to clean up her toys. Bluey refuses, the cake is a disaster, and when it all falls apart (literally), we see Bandit lose it for the first time. He sits down on the kitchen floor and cries, something that made me cry, because how many times has one small thing set me totally over the edge as a parent? A million. But then Bluey sees how upset he is and cleans up the cake—and all of her toys.

 

Season 2, Episode 26: Sleepytime

Relatable parenting moment: You are the center of your kids’ universe.

This is my favorite Bluey episode. Bingo tells her mom that she wants to sleep in her bed all night like a big girl. She falls asleep and begins dreaming about flying from planet to planet, and we see that in real life, she’s sleepwalking, slapping her dad while playing with the gas on Jupiter, losing her stuffed bunny on the rings of Saturn, lost and cold while sleeping alone in bed on Pluto, until finally she sees the sun and is pulled into its rays. The sun, of course, is her mother holding her while she sleeps.

This episode showcases what Bluey does differently than in other kids’ shows. So many times when there could be a lesson, they replace it with a simple idea instead: Being a family is mostly about sharing your warmth.

 

 

Photo: Ned Elton

Before children, I thought the hard stuff was going to be the chores—the sheer abundance of them, getting them to sleep, feeding them, having to change so many diapers. And then doing it all over again, all on relatively no sleep.

So when I was able to manage that, I was kind of like, “Okay, I got this! I’m utterly exhausted, but I’ll sleep when they’re 3.” Then, as my kids got older, I figured as long as I didn’t feed them chicken nuggets or give them Hawaiian Punch at every meal I’d be on the right track.

And so, I just assumed that the other stuff, like making them happy, polite emotionally stable human beings would just fall into place. I figured, I’m a good person with manners and I am generally emotionally stable, so that should translate into being a great parent with great kids. I’d be a great role model for them. The “chill mom.” How could anything go wrong? Bingo, automatic pilot.

So when I struggled to get shoes on and leave the house on time or my child literally freaked out because someone had made a mark on her drawing or melted down because I was neither close enough nor far away enough from the jungle gym as I spotted her, I had to really stop and think.

If I could have talked to the parenting gods, I would literally have looked up to the heavens and said, “What the hell is this? Are you kidding me?? I am doing this all the right way! I’m easy going, I’m not helicopter parenting, I’ve got the right amount of schedule,with the right amount of go with the flow thing going on here! They are not supposed to be acting like this—I repeat—not supposed to be acting like this!”

I’d sort of imagined I would instinctively know how to handle these situations. I’d know what to do when they were hurt, know what to do when they were upset or seemingly irrational – know exactly how to get them to get over things, move on, cooperate.

Essentially, how to get them to “feel” better.

That was it. I couldn’t change the way they felt. If they were angry, I couldn’t always get them to calm down. If they were upset and crying, I couldn’t automatically make them happy again. What kind of horrible mother was I? I thought I’d have this magic touch. Wasn’t it that simple?

So I thought about this, maybe it wouldn’t happen again. It was just the lack of an afternoon nap, or they must be hungry, but of course it would happen again, and again and the cycle would repeat itself. My child would get upset, about something or other. And it seemed like no matter what I did, they became more upset and sometimes, eventually angry.

I would twist myself into a pretzel cajoling, distracting, sweetly explaining things, and after an insane amount of patience on my part, or so I thought, I would become upset and even angry. So now, I was angry at my kid for essentially being upset about something. And somewhere down the line I would become upset at myself for not handling it correctly.

It was then I realized I needed to search beyond my magical intuition for some guidance.

And this was the most surprising thing to me about parenting, I couldn’t make them feel better.  They’d misbehave because they were upset and I was at a loss about handling it. The subtle nuances of discipline weren’t clear and straightforward. I thought they would be.

How exactly do I deal with these meltdowns and the power struggles? Time-outs didn’t feel right. I mean, isolating them on a stool so that they could reflect on their bad behavior. Yeah, I’m thinking that’s not going to work. And, it feels mean. But then, I can’t let them just do whatever they want. I really felt like the outside world was judging me on the success of every public parent conflict. Secretly thinking to themselves, is she really going to let them get away with that?

What kind of disciplinarian was I? What did that mean to me, discipline? I certainly am not going to hit, I don’t want to yell all the time—only some of the time, okay—but not all the time.

But, I have to be the parent. They are supposed to do what I tell them, am I right? I need to have control. At least that’s what the lady at Petco told me as my child screamed inconsolably in the stroller. Yes, she did, she told me that. My response was not my best parenting moment.

My younger sister who had kids well before me would say when I tried to calmly explain to my nephew that he couldn’t swing from the dining room chandelier because he might get hurt, that you can’t reason with a two-year-old. And that’s true. But that still doesn’t explain how I should deal with this stuff.

Here’s what I’ve learned. We’re not talking about reasoning and we’re not commanding them listen to us. We’re also not asking them to jump ahead to where we want them to be emotionally by saying, “come on sweetie, come here, to this enlightened place where I am. I know best”. No, that doesn’t work.

You essentially have to start by meeting them where they are first. That crazy upset place they are sitting in. You go in to where they are and you stay there until they can move on with you. And this is what Parenting is really, over and over again, meet them there. And then of course a hell of a lot of acceptance of that. Because you will continually want to go back to either just fixing the damned situation or making them deal with it.

And so, how do you get there?

1. See your child where they are, not where you want them to be or hope that by coaxing, prodding, bribing, yelling or threatening they will be.

Don’t rush in to fix things. That’s the first instinct for many of us. Resist the urge! Fixing things is not actually what they want or need in that moment. They really just want you to hear them. What we may see as a task to be solved (because Moms and Dads are great at solving things—we’re so smart) is really an expression that they want you to KNOW how they feel.

When you start by trying to understand and acknowledging their feelings, that is so deeply moving to someone and so reassuring, you soften, they soften and then they can move beyond those overwhelming feelings. It is only then that they will hear you. So first listen to them, and let them know you are listening, by acknowledging what they are saying and expressing it.

2. Give them some information to help guide them and/or offer them a choice to help them shift. We are helping them help themselves. Coaching them through these feelings, rather than denying the feelings or telling them their feelings aren’t that bad and they need to stop it right now! It goes something like this: “You’re really upset that we chose this book to read tonight. Your sister picked this and you wanted the other one. Yeah, that’s hard having to listen to a book you don’t really like.” Wait for a response, see what you get. Go back to letting them have their feeling if they aren’t ready to move on.

Then follow up with, “Do you want to read this book together tonight and we’ll read yours tomorrow night, or do you want to read your own book to yourself tonight?” (choice) and maybe add, “In this family we take turns deciding on the books we read.” (information) And if this goes on and on. And it may, you continue to acknowledge their feelings. Repeat the choice, and then at some point and you decide the next step.

3. Set your boundary. Set a limit, decide what that limit is, and stick to it.

“I see you’re still upset about reading your sister’s book, and you’re having a hard time deciding what to do. Sweetie, tonight we’re going to read your sisters choice and tomorrow we’ll read yours. You can listen or read in your bed. I’m going to start reading now because it’s getting late.”

Does that mean you avoid the melt down? Probably not, you may very well still get the meltdown and that’s ok. Your child is still angry and upset at the situation, but at least they’re not stuck in the “You don’t understand anything” place. They are going to know if not in that exact moment, then eventually, that when they get upset, you will listen, you do care, even if it that doesn’t mean they get what they want or that you agree with their point of view.

As you continually do this over time, they will learn that they are going to be upset and then they will eventually feel better. You can’t command someone to ‘get over it’. You may think you have changed their feeling, but their feeling is still there. You’ve just forced them to stuff it so it doesn’t continue to annoy you. You’ve just trained them to respond differently. As in, don’t show that feeling because it will go unheard, rejected and you might possibly be shamed.

“Training” a child is not our goal. “Teaching” a child should be. Letting them know they can feel something, feel a certain way and give voice to that is huge. They may not get what they want but they’ll learn that they can have the bad feeling and then be ok. Again, huge!

Little by little they will express their distress and shift more quickly, because they know it’s not the end of the world. We aren’t stalling them in their “this is the end of the world moment” and leaving them there mad and resentful. I’m pretty sure we’ve all seen our kids in those moments. We’re not shoving them by force into our “correct” version reality. We are letting them find it, by coaching them through it.

It’s not magic, or perfect but it works and it models for them the respectful adult we want them to become. When you see your child meeting some other child where they are and showing empathy. Well, to me, honestly that’s the meaning of life right there.

So we stop jumping to solutions. Stop trying to fix, and trying to make them feel better. We can’t make them feel better. Only they can. We can help.

Think about it. When someone tells you things aren’t that bad, or that you’re overreacting, or that you should count your blessings, or be more like so and so, or that you should understand that life is unfair, I’m pretty sure that doesn’t make you automatically feel better. You may quit your bitching, but now your still pissed at the situation and you’re also pretty pissed with your friend.

This whole idea that standing your ground and insisting on adherence to what you say is discipline is baloney.  They didn’t learn anything except that their feelings don’t really matter or aren’t valid enough to warrant the time of day. The word “discipline” derives from Latin, meaning “instruction given” or “teaching.” So let’s do that.

Yes, they’ll get there, let them know they are allowed to feel what they feel, instead of making them feel worse and inadequate for having those feelings. Even if forcing them to move on seems quicker and more efficient in the moment, it won’t help them want to behave, cooperate or move on, next time.

So, stop and see your kid in front of you. Let them know you see them and how they are feeling. Give them information to help them or give them a choice to make it easier for them to take the next step. And eventually, set your limit.

I don’t want to give the impression that with a few magic steps and some patience these situations evaporate, never to be seen again. These are foundational building blocks. Basics, but they a long way in helping get your child’s willing cooperation, in not escalating things into a power struggle every time your kid doesn’t eat their peas, and most importantly it models the respect you want your child to emulate.

Maybe even most importantly, you are wiring them to be able to figure these things out as they become teens and eventually adults.

It’s not rocket science. It’s brilliantly simple and deceivingly difficult at the same time because it isn’t just shaping our kids, it is shaping ourselves as well. It’s conscious parenting, It’s the power of creating this connection and building a lifetime bond with your child.

I am learning to really listen, and I am learning what they need in the process and I try to give them as much of that as I can.

I am a NYC Mom and Parent Coach and through Parenting Workshops and one on one sessions, I help parents move from managing their kids in order to get "good" behavior to raising their kids in such a way that promotes intrinsic motivation to do the right thing!

 

Toddler jingles on repeat, snacks spilled and lost to petrify in a hidden seat crack, frantic screams over a book dropped just out of reach, and the endless rhythmic thud of little feet kicking the seat, stamping dusty footprints on the upholstery… sound familiar? Sure, being in the car with a young child can be relaxing and even fun at times, but most parents agree that it is often hard, stressful, and wearing. The dance of getting everyone in and out, strapping down squirmy limbs while standing in the rain, and getting everyone settled with books and snacks can feel exhausting on even a short trip. Tack on extended hours, a potty training preschooler, or an unexpected traffic jam delaying a nap, and tensions rise. 

When yoga is adapted for kids, the only requirement is that it is safe, developmentally appropriate, and fun. With this in mind, why couldn’t kids’ yoga and mindfulness be taken into the car? The answer is, it can be. 

Many yoga poses and mindfulness exercises can be specially adapted for kids in their car seats. 

Yoga for Kids in the Car   

Being constrained in a car seat for any amount of time can be tedious and uncomfortable. Offering kids a safe and unique way to move and stretch can significantly alleviate this irritation. Here are several yoga poses that can be done in the car: 

1. Fluttering Butterfly: Kids bend both legs and bring the soles of their feet together. Holding feet in their hands, they move their legs up and down, like the flapping wings of a butterfly. As they flap, kids can imagine a butterfly has flown into the car and describe, with as much detail as possible, what their butterfly looks like. Ask what color it is. Is it big, small, sparkly?  

2. Car Moon: Kids put both palms together and straighten their arms above their head, stretching as high as they can go. Keeping their palms pressed together, they lean slightly to one side, bending their body and arms into the shape of a crescent moon. Hold for a breath or two and then straighten and curl toward the opposite direction. 

3. Sunset and Sunrise: Kids put their arms straight out and touch their fingertips together, making a round shape as if they were holding a giant ball. Taking a deep and slow breath in and keeping the circular shape, they raise their arms up over their head, like a sun rising in the sky. When they are ready for the sun to set, they take another slow breath in and as they blow out, and still holding the circular shape of the arms, lower their hands down and bend as far forward as possible, bending the head down and stretching the neck. This can be repeated several times.

4. Ants Crawling on A Log: Kids flex their feet and straighten their legs out in front of their bodies as much as space allows. They then pretend that the fingertips are little ants crawling down the legs toward the feet. Mixing up the speed that the ants crawl up and down the legs keeps this more engaging. 

5. Sitting Tree: Sitting Tree Pose is adapted from the traditional Tree Pose in yoga. Kids bend one leg, bringing the foot as far up the leg as possible, or just cross the ankles. They press their hands together at the palms and straighten their arms, bringing their hands above their heads. Take several slow breaths, and then switch legs. 

6. Painting a Rainbow: Kids press their palms together and take a big slow breath in. Then they raise their hands above their heads, keeping the palms together. Pretending that their fingers are paintbrushes filled with different colors, they blow out and sweep the arms open to either side “painting a rainbow” over their heads.

7. Blast off Rocket Ship: Kids press palms together as hard as they can in front of their chests and take a deep, slow breath in. With a forceful exhale, the rocketship blasts off, and arms shoot above the head, stretching and reaching as high into space as possible. Describe what it looks and feels like up in space.

8. Twisty Arms: Twisty Arms can be slightly tricker for younger kids. Kids hold both arms up, elbows bent and palms facing each other. Cross one arm over the other and then twist the top arm behind the bottom so the palms touch. With the palms pressed together and the arms wrapped, kids take several slow breaths, bringing their hands up toward their foreheads. The top arm can be switched and the pose repeated.  

9. Sitting Mountain: Kids open their hands as wide as they can and straighten their arms up above their head, reaching as high and straight as possible. With arms stretched, they take several slow, deep breaths. 

10. Telephone: Kids bend one leg at the knee and hold the foot, pretending that it is a phone. When they “get a phone call,” they bring the foot up as close as possible to their ears. Kids can “talk on the phone” as long as is comfortable, bringing the foot down when read. Then they get a call on the opposite foot. 

These ten activities have provided kids a safe way to move and stretch in the car and give parents tools for a calmer, more purposeful car ride. Is this the magic ingredient for making your car rides smooth, quiet, and peaceful? Probably not. No child is precisely the same, and there is no one secret formula to fix a challenging parenting moment. However, these are tools that many families have found useful and fun. They are absolutely worth trying, tweaking, and retrying when the child is in a different mood or developmental phase. Any tool that could potentially transform a car ride whine into a giggle or flip an angry scowl into a peaceful smile is well worth trying.  

 

Kristi Coppa is a mom of two, a former nurse, and the creator of Wondergrade, an app to help parents teach calm-down and emotional regulation skills at home. Through creating content kids love and empowering parents to teach it, Kristi intends to help create a kinder, more resilient, and compassionate next generation.

One of the myriad occupational hazards of being a parent is finding yourself caught in an awkward parenting moment. Whether it happens in private or in public, these sticky situations can range from humorous to mortifying, but rest assured that it happens to all of us. Instead of finding the nearest safe space to hide your face in shame, use these cringe-worthy episodes as teaching moments for your kids—and yourself. Here are 10 common awkward parenting moments and how to handle them.

photo: 张学欢 via Unsplash

Situation 1 

That awkward moment when your kid walks in on you and your spouse enjoying some “grown-up time” together.

What to do: In the archives of awkward parenting situations, this one probably ranks among the most distressing. The impulse for most parents is to scramble to compose themselves, then scramble to compose a lie. It’s better to remain calm, tell the truth in an age-appropriate manner, and contain the situation without making the situation a bigger deal than it is.

Situation 2

That awkward moment when your kid asks you why the lady at the market is “so fat” or why the male cashier sounds “like a girl.”

What to do: There is a growing body of research that suggests some biases are innate, but that doesn’t mean it’s ever appropriate for anyone of any age to make disparaging remarks about someone simply because he or she is different from “the norm.” First, if your kid makes a hurtful, inappropriate remark to someone, it’s always appropriate to apologize on your child’s behalf and/or have your child apologize if they are old enough to understand. Second, and more importantly, teaching children to appreciate, embrace and celebrate differences in all people will help them appreciate, embrace and celebrate the differences in themselves.

photo: Rahel Daniel via Unsplash

Situation 3

That akward moment when your kid is invited to more than one birthday party scheduled at the same time on the same day.

What to do: The first rule of kiddie birthday party etiquette is always to RSVP. The second rule of kiddie birthday party etiquette is always to RSVP. That means, first-come, first-served. If your child has been double-invited, honesty isn’t the best policy, it’s the only policy.

Situation 4

That awkward moment when you dislike your kid’s friend’s parents.

What to do: Spending time with the parents of your kid’s friends is inevitable. With playdates, parties and school events, parents are often forced to become friends with each other. But sometimes, parents of other people’s kids are irritating or unfriendly or simply not the kind of people you would choose to be friends with. The most important thing to remember: it’s not about you, it’s about your kid. Be polite and set limits. Inviting your kid’s friend’s parents to brunch is not a requirement to ensure that your kid has a happy and healthy social life.

Situation 5

That awkward moment when your kid asks why you drink so much.

What to do: There’s a common gag within some parenting circles about the (excessive) drinking habits of some moms and dads. While most parents likely don’t abuse alcohol, some may, and children who are raised in homes with parents who are even moderate drinkers are less likely to view their parents as positive role models. If your kid asks why you have to have a glass of wine every single day, you might want to ask yourself the same question. 

photo: Jerry Kiesewetter via Unsplash

Situation 6

That awkward moment when your kid insists on stripping down naked in public.

What to do: Unless you live in a community of nudists, there will be an awkward phase when your toddler insists on being naked pretty much all of the time—no matter the circumstance. Experts agree that this is common and reflects a developmental phase when toddlers are starting to master dressing and undressing. Rather than making a fuss or overreacting, teach your kiddo when and where you believe it’s the appropriate time and place to go au naturel.

Situation 7

That awkward moment when your kid discovers your stash of “adult” stuff.

What to do: Whether it’s a box of “medicinal herbs” or an “adult massager,” unless you keep your adult stuff under lock and key, it’s inevitable that your curious kid will one day discover it. The key to preventing an episode like this from escalating into a full-blown crisis is to remain calm, explain briefly (if somewhat vaguely) what’s what, then redirect your kid’s attention to something less controversial.

photo: Hunter Johnson via Unsplash

Situation 8 

That awkward moment when your kid tells your neighbors what you really think about them.

What to do: We’ve all had experience with annoying or nosey neighbors, but things can get awkward really fast if your kid innocently blabs to your neighbor that “my dad thinks you’re a jerk.” While good fences make for good neighbors, it’s unavoidable to see your jerky neighbor from time to time. If your kid has let the cat out of the bag about your true feelings, you should gently remind your kid there are some things that we keep to ourselves, so that we don’t hurt other people’s feelings. Or better yet, don’t talk about the jerky neighbors in front of your children. As for the terrible neighbors, there are plenty of helpful tips that can help to resolve the neighborly conflict.

Situation 9 

That awkward moment when your kid asks grandma and grandpa who they voted for president.

What to do: Few things can bring an otherwise pleasant family gathering to a screeching halt than raising the topic of politics in mixed company, especially when the extended family may have very different political points of view. Our kids often will parrot the social and political beliefs we espouse at home, which can lead to awkwardness if grandma and grandpa don’t feel the same way. While it’s best to avoid political talk, if the topic comes up, politeness and courtesy are the rules of thumb.

Situation 10

That awkward moment when your kid has an epic meltdown at the store/on a plane/at a restaurant/anywhere.

What to do: Parents often have one of two responses whenever our kids are in full-tantrum-slash-meltdown mode: we either choose to ignore it or we escalate the situation by freaking out ourselves. Children who are melting down often aren’t doing so to embarrass themselves or their parents. Experts suggest assessing the root cause of the tantrum and try to work through the issue to help calm down the kid. Assessing the triggers and modeling good behavior are the keys to ensuring that meltdowns are effectively managed.

—Kipp Jarecke-Cheng

 

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Feature photo: Abigail Keenan on Unsplash

Between rearranging your life schedule for baby and taking care your new bundle of joy, fitness often gets kicked down low on your priority list…unless you’ve signed up for Fit4Mom. Started in 2012, this Marin fitness franchise works with moms (and families) who want to keep pre- and post-natal fitness on their fun radar. You can take your baby for a stroller jog, connect with other moms through Our Village and exchange sage advice, or just focus on building your strength and flexibility until it rivals your baby’s leg lifts. With Fit4Mom, working out just became hip, easy and fun again.

We sat down with Karin Collins, mompreneur of the Fit4Mom Marin franchise, to get an insider’s look on how she manages to stay fit all while being a full-time mom.

RT: What neighborhood/borough do you live in?

KC: Terra Linda

RT: What is your favorite “escape hatch” to get some “me” time and recharge?

KC: Years ago, I studied yoga and I try to sneak in a 30-minute session in the mornings before my 2 year old daughter wakes up. I also love to go on long runs or hikes by myself. It helps me clear my mind and I often come up with great ideas.

RT: What does the perfect Bay Area Sunday morning look like?

KC: Almost every Sunday is a perfect Sunday for me because I get to do what I love to do. Morning typically starts with morning snuggle with my family and then I teach a Stroller Strides class, which is a fitness class that moms can do with their Stroller aged children. Sundays is a special class for the whole family and so not only do I get to see my lovely mom’s but I also get to see many of the dad’s. Classes are twice the size and twice the fun! After class we walk over to the Civic Center farmer’s market to eat a yummy lunch and buy fresh fruits and veggies for the week.

RT: What is your latest obsession?

KC: On a recent trip to Sweden visiting my family and friends, I was connected with Sami Pharmacy. They offer a variety of organic super foods such as crowberries and wild blue berries. I am obsessed with their yummy products so much that now I’m going to be distributing their wonderful products here in the US.

RT: What’s your secret to balancing work and family life?

KC: The secret is that I have an amazing job, which allows me to integrate business, family, friends and fun all in one. I can bring my daughter when I teach my classes. She is my little workout buddy. My husband is also very supportive and appreciative of all the hard work I do in the home and for my company. Most importantly, I love what I do and so it really doesn’t feel like work.

RT: What is your proudest parenting moment so far?

KC: It is impossible to only mention one moment. There are so many little moments every day that make me so proud of my daughter. She shows a great deal of empathy towards other people, eats leafy green salads, helps me make lunches for her dad… the list goes on!

Have you checked out Fit4Mom? Follow them on Facebook for updates and Instagram for motivational pics!

Stroller Strides® is a stroller-based fitness program designed for moms with little ones. Each 60-minute, total body workout incorporates power walking, strength, toning, songs and activities. Certified fitness instructors offer a variety of fun class formats both indoors and outdoors. All locations also offer a free Plum Moms Club so moms can form lasting friendships with other moms through organized playdates, moms’ nights out, and activities for the whole family.