ML Interest Tag: pasture

Tickle Your Funny Bone: 20 Jokes for Bay Area Kids

by Kate Loweth

What’s the safest place to be during an earthquake?

Need a little levity in your life? These Bay Area jokes for kids are a great way to kick your day off in the right direction. Scroll down for silly jokes, corny jokes, and quite a few earthquake jokes. Share them with your little ones to get the laughs rolling!

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1. What do you call a seagull living in San Francisco?

A baygull.

2. Why is it so cold in San Francisco?

Giant fans.

3. It took 10 workers 10 days to build the Golden Gate Bridge.  How long would it take 5 workers to build the same bridge?

None—it’s already built!

—Liam, age 7 

4. Which 49ers player can jump higher than a house?

All of them—houses can’t jump at all.

5. Where do you find hungry 49ers?

The golden arches.

6. What card game do Niners fans play?

Golden Gate Bridge.

7. What runs around Levi’s Stadium but never moves?

A wall. 

8. What did 49ers fans think about the new lights at Levi’s Stadium?

They gave them GLOWING reviews.

9. Who put all these mountains in California?

It wasn’t me, it was all San Andreas’ fault!

10. What was the earthquake's punishment?

It was grounded.

11. What happens when you get nervous during an earthquake? 

You start shaking uncontrollably.

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12. What's the safest place to be during an earthquake? 

A stationary store.

13. What did one earthquake say to the other?

It's not my fault!

14. What's the worst nightmare of an Etch-A-Sketch artist?

An earthquake.

15. What do you get when there’s an earthquake at a cow pasture?

Milk shakes.

16. Did you hear about the recent earthquake research?

The information is groundbreaking.

17. What did the ground say to the earthquake?

You crack me up.

18. Where do you find missing angels?

Lost Angeles

19. Where do waffles go on vacation?

Sandy Eggo.

20. Where in California does everyone have minty fresh breath?

Sacra-mentos.

 

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10 Family Hikes to Get You Through Summer

by Allison Sutcliffe

Summer in the city is all about planning adventures with the kids. Whether you meet friends at the local spray deck, ferry over to the Harbor Islands or head to a nearby beach, making each day count is the way Boston families roll. When it comes to outside adventures it doesn’t get any better than finding a kid-friendly hike in the city. That’s why we’ve mapped out ten family-friendly hikes near Boston that give kids all the space they need to burn off energy and soak up the sunshine. Our guide includes everything from easy hikes for tots to hikes that challenge big kids (and maybe parents, too). Here’s where families can get out and explore before summer ends.

Elm Bank Reservation, Wellsley
Woodland wildlife meets gorgeous and colorful gardens at this green space where you'll find more than enough kid-friendly hikes to keep your little campers happy until school starts. While families can enjoy strolling along the banks of the Charles River for free. Or you can pay the entrance fee (or enjoy your membership) and take the kids to explore the Garden on the grounds. Find all the summer magic you need at Weezie's Garden or plan to play a bit after you're hike when you drop in on a family program.

More info: mass.gov

 

Hopkinton State Park, Hopkinton
One of the joys of going on a kid-friendly hike in summer is that your unplanned adventure can last all day as long as you've got the right provisions with you. Bring a picnic, bathing suits and beach towels along on this trip and you've got a full day of outdoor activity planned. Walk through wetlands along Duck Pond Trail and keep your eyes peeled for wildlife when you do. Or pick one of the many trails that skirt the swimming beach. Hike for a bit; swim for a bit; then sit down to lunch at a picnic bench.

More info: mass.gov

 

Ipswich River Wildlife Sanctuary, Topsfield
Twelve miles of trails wind through this wildlife sanctuary that's got tons of outdoor elements kids love. Boardwalks through wetlands, small pools and intriguing boulders will help motivate them as you explore the property. You'll have more than enough kid-friendly hike options if you start at the Visitor's Center and go from there. But no matter what you do, don't miss a trip to the rockery—a grotto of narrow passages and caves that kids of all ages (and their parents) find totally fascinating. You'll find it at the end of the Rockery Trail.

Insider tip: A Free August Adventure is scheduled at the wildlife sanctuary on August 23.

More info: massaudubon.org

Related: 7 Blooming Good Hikes to Take This Spring

 

Walden Pond Reservation, Concord
While Thoreau treasured being alone at Walden Pond, families can treasure together time hiking its many easy trails that offer a different kind of solitude. Put the popular Pond Path on your list. The easy one-mile trek starts at the Thoreau House replica and follows the pond to the original home site. With a relatively level path, even tots can handle this one (although it never hurts to bring a stroller or carrier along). But if a StoryWalk is what you’ve got planned, Walden Pond has a good one. Kids can read Henry David Thoreau Bell Ringer for Justice page-by-page to add a little something to the experience.

More info: mass.gov

 

Breakheart Reservation, Saugus
Not too far from Walden Pond you'll find this reservation that offers miles of trails and city views from its many vistas. During the summers, families congregate around Pearce Lake at the swimming beach, a perfect place to cool off after making the climb up nearby Eagle Rock. It's the just-right spot to take an easy stroll around the lake, pack a picnic and spend time forest bathing this summer.

More info: mass.gov

 

Broadmoor Wildlife Sanctuary, Natick
With nine miles of trails to explore, this wildlife sanctuary will keep your kids wandering and wondering all day long. When it comes to kid-friendly hikes, try the one-mile Charles River Trail. It’s a loop trail that’s vibrant with cardinal flower blooms in the summer. If you’ve got your stroller, the All Persons Trail will give you just over half a mile to hike and maybe even the chance to spy some turtles too.

Good to know: This park is only open Tuesday through Sunday, from dawn to dusk.

More info: massaudubon.org

Related: Boston's Top 10 Stroller Hikes to Get Your Family Moving

kids point to something interesting in the forest as they are out for a family friendly, kid friendly hike
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Middlesex Fells Reservation, Stoneham
Although families can traverse around 100 miles in this reservation, there's so much more to this massive park that includes Stone Zoo in its borders. Mountain bikes are a great summer accessory here, and your furriest family members will enjoy some off-leash time at Sheepfold Meadow (leashed dogs are welcome on the trails). Make a day of it by packing a picnic, stopping by the playground and renting a canoe (ages 8 and up) at Spot Pond.

More info: mass.gov

 

Purgatory Chasm State Reservation, Sutton
Purgatory Chasm is a unique natural landmark offering exciting adventure along short trails perfect for little legs. Follow trails to rock formations like The Corn Crib, The Coffin and Lovers’ Leap. When you're done check out the great family programming that runs through the end of August. We're big fans of Monday's Kidleidoscope program aimed at preschoolers. It's a chance to them to hike, craft and sit down for storytime all in one program.

Insider tip: Mark your calendars for August 27. Let's just say it'll be batty.

More info: mass.gov

Related: Boston's 10 Best Hikes (for When You Need to Get Outside)

family hiking with baby and child in stroller - camping with baby
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Borderland State Park, Easton
Borderland State Park features a historic mansion open that's for tours (hint: the kid-friendly tours run Sunday and Monday from 3-3:30 p.m. and required registration). This park also features trails for hiking, biking or horseback riding, and families can fish and boat on the pond. If you want to make a day of it, check out the facilities for tennis and disc golf after you've explored the trails. Borderlands features over 20 miles of hiking trails ranging from moderate to difficult and many of them are stroller friendly.

More info: mass.gov

 

Rocky Narrows, Sherborn
By foot or canoe, enjoy incomparable views of the Charles River at its most serene as it slowly winds between granite walls. Or amble among pine groves and past wetlands along seven miles of trails and footpaths. A two-mile hike follows the river’s edge south before reaching successive overlooks, and it's perfect for families. Rocky Narrows Overlook takes some effort to reach, but you’ll be rewarded with views of steep, hemlock-covered cliffs that form a narrow river passage—the landmark that gives the reservation its name.

More info: thetrustees.org

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Escape the City with These Nearby Farm Tours

by Katrina Emery

If you’re needing a fun family outing to pump up your quarantine this fall, the lovely folks at Farm 2 Fork Tours have got you covered. With transportation, snacks, meals, and adventures all included (along with extra careful safety precautions), they’re here to make sure your day exploring our corner of Oregon is amazing. Read on for more!

The Basics

Farm 2 Fork tours provide families with an exclusive opportunity to witness our food is grown while tasting the seasonal offerings. You and your kiddos get to learn first hand from regional farmers and really connect with the people that grow and craft their food.

Farm 2 Fork currently offers a few different tour “themes” to choose from depending on the area of Oregon your family wants to explore the most. Offerings include the Willamette Valley, Oregon Coast and more. All tours are family friendly and can be adjusted to fit your little one’s carb-only diet choices or stroller-toting needs.

Owner Ali Noyer has curated a relationship with farms and owners all throughout the region, so tours are carefully designed to offer you the best experience of the day. The drive from Portland is a great time to learn about the farms, the valley, farming practices, and more. Ali is incredibly knowledgeable about the areas and the farmers and is happy to chat about all of it.

On the Willamette Valley tour, for example, you might stop at places like these:

Marion Acres and Helvetia Market

Near the sweet hamlet of Helvetia, Marion Acres is a chicken farm and processing plant. You’ll learn all about the ins and outs of pasture-raised, local, humane, sustainable farming chicken raising, which produces high quality meat and healthy farms. The pastures are teeming with life like cows, pigs, chickens, bugs that the chickens eat, and even some hawks up above. Yes, the “processing” plant does what you suspect, and while they’re very up front about it, you can keep as much distance as you’d like from it (or peek inside the clean facility with the tour if you’re curious!). 

Enjoy  lunch, snacks, or a shopping break at Helvetia Market, offering a huge quantity of local goods like produce, their own and others’ pasture-raised meats, beer and wine, fresh baked bread, and other grocery items. 

Online: marionacres.com

TMK Creamery

Learn all about cheesemaking and the loving art of raising milk cows. Their line-up of adorable big-eyed cows are called “cowlebrities,” and each come with a big name tag so you can address them properly. You’ll get the chance to offer them hay and even pet them, while learning about the careful and caring stewardship the small dairy farm upholds for their animals. You might even get to see the milking process! Top it off with a tasting of cheese curds, gouda, or even “Miss TMK,” an entire cheese made from the namesake’s single cow milk. Also, there’s ice cream. 

Online: tmkcreamery.com

Additional Tours

Other tours head out to the coast for the Taste of Tillamook or a fully focused Cheese and Dairy Tour. And don’t skip the Coastal Exploration, where your gang can learn how to shuck oysters, safely filet a fish, or even go crabbing right off the docks. Your kids might come away inspired to become fishermen or women! And it’s ok if the little ones aren’t big oyster eaters—options abound (and that leaves more for the seafood loving adults!) 

The only requirement is a sense of wonder and curiosity about the food and farms of the Pacific Northwest. Questions welcome, adventures promised.

Farm 2 Fork Tours

5-6 hour tours, rain or shine

$149/adults, $110/children 5-21, free for children 4 and under

Children pricing assumes full meals and snack tastings, please inquire for adjusted pricing (as in, if your children are likely not going to eat a full seafood lunch, the cost can be reduced) 

Online: farm2forktours.com

all photos courtesy of Farm 2 Fork Tours

—Katrina Emery

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Chillin’ with the Goats on Chicago’s West Side

by Maria Chambers

When was the last time you cuddled with a billy goat? How about the last down you planked with a goat playing jockey? At Chicago’s GlennArt Farm in the Austin neighborhood, families are welcome to shop for fresh milk and cheeses, strike a yoga pose or just chill with the friendliest herd of goats you’ll ever meet. Read on and then hoof it to this for west side mini-farm.

photo: credit Kelly S. via YELP

The Farm’s History

It’s perhaps the least likely place in the world where you’d expect to find pastoral bliss: smack dab in the middle of Chicago’s west side. But GlennArt Farm has managed to carve out an almost idyllic, country-like space.

“We have found that goats have a niche to play in the development of sustainable urban agriculture,” said Carolyn and David Ioder, who both descend from Midwestern farming families. “They produce milk for an alternative food source, their manure gives an immediate use for fertilizer, the goats love to eat down overgrown lots and they are gentle when interacting with people.”

The duo launched the farm in 2011, much to the surprise of neighbors who suddenly found a herd of goats making their daily trek to pasture through the alley.

photo: credit Dee A. via Yelp

They’re Not Just Cute. . . They’re Useful, Too!

During high season from April to November, the couple makes cheese, milks goats seven days a week while also selling their all-organic eggs and honey.

If you want to skip to the front of the line for locally produced milk and eggs, become a member of GlennArt Farm’s Goat Guardian Guild and you’ll receive six free quarts of raw goat milk, discounted prices on additional milk, extra educational experiences and invites to down-home social gatherings on the farm several times a year. Best of all, you’ll have the opportunity to name newborn baby goats, a.k.a. Kids.

photo: credit Julie O. via YELP

Downward Dog With a Goat

Milk and eggs is nice and all, but it’s their herd of dairy goats that draws in the most visitors, as the small farm hosts yoga classes and “goat chills”.

Goat Chill participants simply hang out in the pasture with the super sociable goats. Feed them delicious, goat-approved snacks, give them a good back scratch (goats don’t like to be petted but always enjoy a good back scratch) and relish in their endless affection and extreme silliness.

Goat yoga, also open to kids, is hosted in the middle of the small field, where nature has reclaimed its glory, ignoring the urban grit and grime, blooming amidst the concrete and construction.

“Kids of a goat kind like to play and check out new things, just like kids of a humankind,” said urban farmer David Ioder. “And kids of a humankind not only enjoy the discovery of kids of another kind, but their world also expands and so does their appreciation of nature and what it offers.”

So, next time you’re looking for a unique family to-do, consider unwinding with GlennArt Farm’s goats.

5749 W. Midway Park, Austin
Hours: Hours vary; call or check the farm’s website before your visit
Getting there: Green line to Austin
847-612-7315
Online: glennartfarm.com

— Amy Bizzarri

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My Dad Taught My Family to Slow Down & Live in the Moment

By Margaret Westhoff

On warm summer evenings, when I was a little girl, my dad would sit outside in his brown metal chair, and say he was “watching the world go round.”

As he gazed out across our land, he possessed a perfect view of the sunset-as the pinks, oranges, reds, yellows, and purples danced across the sky, before retreating below the horizon.

Even more so than observing the sun set across his farmland, my dad enjoyed watching his three daughters play outside. My sisters and I spent countless hours riding our bikes up and down the circle drive, hula hooping, jump roping, and playing catch with each other. Because we lived on eighty acres in the country, my sisters and I spent as much time outdoors as indoors.

When I think back on my childhood, I see the silhouette of my dad sitting in his brown chair, drinking his Orange Juice and Vodka after a long day’s work in the city, and watching his little girls play outdoors.

Life moved slower back then. My sisters and I had no concept of time. Once the sun went down and the fireflies appeared, with their tiny lights twinkling across our lawn and pasture, we knew it was our cue to go inside for the night.

I can close my eyes and am transported back to those summer evenings on the farm. The smell of nature: of grass, dirt, and livestock, wafts by me once more. I can hear the chirping of crickets, grasshoppers, and the bullfrogs calling from the ponds. The rooster crows one last time before retreating to his roost, and the cows moo from the back pasture.

Twenty-five years later, and I sit outside once again, watching my own children play in the yard. I live in the city instead of the country, and my family’s little plot of land measures less than a half-acre. My kids are younger, so I am more hands-on with them, and cannot simply sit back and observe from a chair. My 9-month-old ambles across the driveway with the help of her walker. My toddler rides his toy car up and down the driveway. My preteen stepdaughter practices her soccer skills for Saturday’s game, as Dad plays goalie, and blocks her kicks.

When the sun is preparing to set, our family begins our short walk around the neighborhood. I push my toddler in his umbrella stroller, while my husband pushes our daughter in the travel system stroller that holds the infant car seat. My stepdaughter joins us, leading the way as she rides her streamer-adorned bicycle.

These sunset walks are my family’s own tradition. We wave at the neighbors as we pass by, our little family of five on an evening stroll. The sunset is still awe-inspiring, even if the view is more obscured now with city lights and nearby houses instead of the wide-open expanse of my dad’s farm.

The world keeps turning. The days become night as the sun sets in a final dazzling display before it sinks below the horizon. Fireflies flicker across our front and backyard. Soon enough, my babies will become toddlers, then preteens, then teenagers, then adults.

But for now, I sit on the wicker chair on the front patio, like my dad did many years ago. Slowing down and breathing in the fresh air. Watching my children play outdoors as I relax at the end of a long day. Living in the moment instead of rushing to multitask or worrying about the future. Taking time to stop and, as my dad once said, “Watch the world go round.”

Margaret Westhoff is a Reluctant Stay at Home Mom to 3 kiddos, including a 9-year old stepdaughter, a 1-year old son, and a 9-month old daughter. When she has a spare moment (which isn't often with 2 under 2) she enjoys writing for her blog, https://www.reluctantsahm.com/, 

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8 Farming Families Who Blow Our Minds (& Will Earn Your Big Time Respect)

by Gabby Cullen

Your family garden has finally eeked out a few herbs and veggies this season, hooray! It’s no easy feat to make things grow; we give major props to the folks who go full-fledge farmer and spend their days in the dirt. Take a peek at eight families whose life on the land is a labor of love.

Family Friendly Farms – Grass Valley, Ca

To live a simple agrarian lifestyle, eat good food, and raise lots of kiddos was a dream for the Zeiters. To make it happen they worked overseas in architecture and real estate development for many years before heading home to purchase 173 acres of heaven in the foothills of Northern California.

Family Friendly Farms started with three cows, a garden, and fruit orchards; now they are well-known purveyors of healthy meats including Beef, Pork, Lamb, and Chicken. After years of learning how to ranch and farm at the school of hard knocks, the togetherness of Family Friendly Farms is both ideal and rewarding. Head farmer/dad Philip says, “the most rewarding aspect of owning this farm is the opportunity to work and teach and play and pray with the kids on a daily basis.  We enjoy all three meals a day together, many times eating only what came from the farm.”

It is indeed a family affair: the seven Zeiter kids are very involved in the daily work at Our Lady Ranch. Their daily jobs range from feeding the animals, collecting, washing, and packaging eggs, pasture irrigation, and rotating the animals to building and repairing fences and even the operation of tractors and heavy equipment. The kids also work on the front end of the business: packaging orders, cooking in the food booth at the local farmers market, selling at the market counters, delivering products, and even customer relations—life skills that have thrived from years of being a regular vendor.

The Zeiter Family welcomes visitors to come view the farm and have lively discussions on topics such as farming operations, animal husbandry, healthy food, raising children, family activities and the simple realities of everyday life.

Online: familyfriendlyfarms.com

Do you have a favorite family farm? Share with us in the comments below!

—Gabby Cullen

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8 Awesome Outdoor Artworks to See On the High Line

by Alice Perry

Since having kids, your days of strolling through Chelsea art galleries may be temporarily on hold. But that doesn’t mean you can’t still experience cutting-edge and contemporary art with your kids. Dotted along the High Line, right above all those art galleries, you’ll find a ton of public outdoor art that’s fun, free and forward-looking like the clever Sheep Station, a gas station turned faux sheep grazing pasture. And because this outdoor kid-friendly Chelsea art tour is like an open-air gallery, you and the kids will be outside and you won’t have to shush them once.

Gilbert & George, Waking

The Art: Gilbert & George are a British art duo, and their Gilbert & George, Waking is a mammoth self-portrait overlooking a parking lot on 10th Avenue. This 75-foot-wide billboard is a recreation of the British artists’ 1984 mural of the same name, which is part of Guggenheim Bilbao’s permanent collection.

Fun for Kids: The artwork’s gigantic size will stop kids in their tracks. They’ll love the intense colors of Joker green, cherry bomb red and Charm pop blue

See It: 10th Avenue between West 18th and West 19th Streets. Now through October 1.

All images courtesy of Alice Perry

-Alice Perry

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