9 Expert Tips to Help Kids Deal with Disappointment

by Shahrzad WarkentinMarch 5, 2024

The birthday invite didn’t come. They didn’t get the part in the school play. Their best friend moved away. Sound familiar? As parents, we have the (unpleasant) task of watching our kids learn the same life lessons we did in our childhoods. It can be hard to resist the urge to make sure they never have to experience the frustration or sadness that comes with not getting what they want, but disappointment is a healthy emotion for kids and can contribute to their social and intellectual development, as noted in Psychology Today. The caveat? It only works if kids understand that being disappointed at times will help them achieve their goals in life. And that’s where we come in.

Even if they do understand (or at least try to), that doesn’t mean it feels good or comes easy. That’s why we’ve enlisted a few experts to offer tips for parents when it comes to helping kids learn how to deal with disappointment.

1. Empathize with Their Feelings

Licensed professional clinical counselor Melissa Marote says that, first and foremost, it’s essential to validate your kids’ feelings; really empathize with what they’re going through. Listen to their feelings and respond with things like, “This must be frustrating.” You should avoid compounding the negativity, however. As you discuss the things your kids are missing out on, Marote explains, try to put a positive spin on it. For example, encourage your kids to save up their excitement for all the things they will eventually get to do in the future.

2. Give Them Reassurance

Child development expert and creator of The Moodsters Denise Daniels, RN, MS, tells us that it’s important to remind kids that this is only temporary—the playdate will happen when it isn’t raining, and they’ll have the opportunity to try out for the team next season. It might be hard for young kids to picture life beyond the current day or week, but still, Daniels suggests having kids make a list of things they want to do in the future because there will always be another opportunity to try.

3. Teach Self-Calming Skills

a sad little boy learning how to deal with disappointment — iStock

Emotions can run high when kids are anxious and sad. Teaching kids how to calm down and manage their feelings is an essential tool for how to deal with anxiety. Marote suggests giving kids a breathing technique to oxygenate the brain and help kids think more clearly. Show your kids how to take a deep breath in and then blow out, like they’re blowing out birthday candles or making bubbles. For younger kids, blowing real bubbles is another excellent method, Marote says.

One more tip for the little kids: talking to a stuffed animal. Kids are so close and connected to their stuffed animals, which makes them a great comfort for kids who are dealing with hard feelings. Tell your kids, “Talk to your teddy bear about how sad you are,” Marote says.

4. Give Them a Choice

So, a trip to the indoor playground or a group trip with friends to a nearby amusement park is out. Naturally, your kids will be disappointed, but you can give them some power (especially when they’re smaller and they feel like they have none) by offering them a choice. “Our plans have changed, and your outing with friends has to be postponed. What if you pick the movie for family movie night and we’ll look for another day that works for the group?”

5. Redirect Focus

For kids that become very hyper-focused on negative feelings, it can be helpful to use distraction techniques when learning how to deal with disappointment, Marote says. Suggest an impromptu game of “I, Spy” or get creative by asking kids to draw a picture about how they’re feeling. Other ideas include reading a funny book or watching a silly video, asking them trivia questions, and telling them jokes. This is especially important when it’s close to bedtime and you’re trying to keep things positive before sleep.

6. Don’t Fix It

a mom helping her son learn how to deal with disappointment — iStock

This is a hard one. Whether you want to make your kids feel better or you figure you can just take care of it (fix the toy, help find the sock, bring the forgotten homework to school), it’s more effective to act as a guide when kids are learning how to deal with disappointment, according to PBS. Ask questions that will help them troubleshoot what happened and how they feel about the problem. “How did you feel when that happened? What do you wish had happened instead? How can we turn this into something good?

7. Stick with Your Normal Routine

In times of stress, encourage kids to keep regular times of going to bed, eating meals, and doing homework, Daniels says. Having a basic plan for the day is essential because kids thrive on predictability. When something doesn’t work out, at least they’ll know what should happen down the line.

8. Find Time to Have Special Moments

If your kids are bummed because they can’t attend their friend’s birthday or their favorite ice cream flavor isn’t available or they missed the final shot on goal, take the opportunity to plan something else fun. This doesn’t mean you have to take them to the amusement park or invest tons of money; just spend quality time together and you’ll see their moods lift.

9. Don’t Underestimate the Power of Hugs

Close contact, like hugs, can go a long way to providing kids with comfort when they’re learning how to deal with disappointment. That way, they’ll know you might not fix the problem, but you’ll always be there to offer comfort. Marote also suggests encouraging younger kids to hug their stuffies when they’re feeling sad or anxious. If you’re dealing with disappointed tweens or teens, look for signs that they’re ready for a hug or having you in their personal space. If it doesn’t happen, remember that being nearby and ready to listen is just as important.

—with additional reporting by Gabby Cullen

28 Genius Air Travel Hacks Every Parent Needs to Know

by Melissa HeckscherJuly 31, 2023

Our favorite airplane hack while traveling with kids? Saran wrap

You’re excited about your destination. The journey to get there—maybe not so much. But before you start writing preemptive apology letters to your fellow airplane passengers, try some of these genius airplane hacks to keep your brood calm, happy, and organized on even the longest of flights. From where to sit on the plane to how to pack so you can whip out the right stuff at the right time (Hello, emergency lollipops!), here are the best travel and packing tips for your next flight.

Fly on a Tuesday or Wednesday.

According to air travel experts, Tuesdays and Wednesdays are the least popular days to fly—which means not only will you get a better deal on your flight, but you may end up with a free seat next to you in the air. In contrast, Sundays are the most expensive, according to TravelFreak.com.

Get TSA PreCheck status to breeze through security.

True, some airports will whisk families through security to help weary moms and dads get through the lines without having to tame tantrums or retrieve runaway kiddos—but it's not a guarantee. To help make sure your wait in the security line is a quick one, apply for TSA PreCheck status, which lets you and your kids breeze through security a little faster (PreChecked travelers use a separate line and don't need to remove their shoes or belts nor remove liquids, laptops or light jackets). Children under 13 can use the TSA PreCheck lane when traveling with a parent or guardian who has the indicator on their boarding pass. Even better? It only costs $85 for five years.

Insider Tip: Make sure to apply for PreCheck status at least two weeks before your flight, then add your "Known Traveler Number" to your reservation.

Apply at Tsa.gov/precheck

Pre-order meals and snacks.

Every parent knows it takes something as simple as, "Sorry, we ran out of the Pirate's Booty" to send a cranky kid into a hangry downward spiral. To avoid this in-air calamity, pre-order any onboard snacks (besides the ones you pack) ahead of time. Most airlines will let you do this within two weeks of your flight, allowing you to prepay for meals or snacks so that you're guaranteed your food of choice even if you're sitting in the last row to be served (most airlines even have kids meals, which reportedly taste way better than their grown-up counterparts).

Not all airlines have specialized child or baby meals available, but many do—including Delta, American, United, British Airways, Emirates, EVA Air, Virgin Australia, Virgin Atlantic, Lufthansa, Japan Airlines. Specialized meals (there are also allergy-friendly meals, vegetarian meals, etc.) are only available by reservation, so make sure to check with your airline long before your flight takes off.

Insider Tip: To reserve meals, go to the "Manage My Booking" section for your flight and find the option for meals and snacks.

Sit up front if you're worried about motion sickness—and the back if you're potty training.

If you've got a kid who gets queasy easily, sitting at the front of the plane or between the wings is your best bet since this is the most stable part of the airplane. The back seats, by contrast, will be the bumpiest when the air gets choppy. That said, if you've got a kid who's new to the potty, choose a seat in the back, so you're close to the lavatory. Sitting in the rear of the aircraft also means you're within easy reach of in-flight amenities (you can usually get cups of water or seconds on snacks), and you'll have a bit of room to stretch your legs if you need to rock a nearly-snoozing child.

Use this hands-free phone hack to make watching movies easy.

@shoshoni_vdv_

Travelhacks☺️✈️ #travel #flight #airplanes #airplane #hacks #travelhack #fy #fyp #foryou #foryoupage #dontletthisflop #viral #netflix

♬ IM NEED SOMEBODY – ig : radiacn26_

Want to make it easy for your kids to zone out with a show or movie during the flight? TikTok user Shoshoni Van de Venn posted this genius hack that uses an airsickness bag to make a hands-free phone holder.

Use a pillowcase to bring extra items on board.

Most airlines won't let you bring two carry-on bags on board—but pillows don't count! TikTokker Anya Lakovlieva posted this awesome travel hack that lets you use a pillowcase as an extra bag. So fill up that "pillow" with any stuffies, jackets, or extra clothing you want to bring on board, and you'll have a comfy headrest and an added carry-on!

Use packing cubes to grab-and-go.

When your wiggly tot needs to get to the bathroom, pronto, digging through your carry-on to find diapers and wipes need to be a lightning-fast feat. To prep for this inevitable moment, use a clear packing cube to make an easy-to-grab potty kit that you can whisk out of your carry-on the moment you see your wee one wiggling. Packing cubes are also great for separating snacks, spare clothes, toys, and other items you'll need to grab at a moment's notice. Try these EZPacking Cubes for clear plastic pouches or these compression mesh cubes that let you squish your stuff down to fit it all in.

Insider Tip: Bring extra Ziploc bags in case you need a place to put soiled or wet clothes.

Use this blow-up footrest to make naps happen.

This blow-up footrest lets your little ones lay flat (if they're small enough) or put their feet up to get cozy. It also works to keep toys and crayons from falling to the floor since it takes up almost all of the space in front of the seat. Blowing it up can be a little tedious—you use your mouth or a pump (sold separately)—but once it's inflated, your tot will be the envy of your seatmates. Buy it here.

Use a phone wallet for easy access to travel documents and credit cards.

When you're shuffling kids through security, keeping all of your travel documents easily accessible is a must. So carry your phone and your credit cards in one of these wearable "phone wallets" so you can whip out your tickets and pay for snacks without needing to open your purse. Not only that, but you'll be able to quickly snap a photo or hand over Youtube Kids at a moment's notice. Win-win!

Use busy boxes to keep kids entertained without screens.

Sure, you can hand over your phone and let kids veg out the whole flight, but if your kids are too young for marathon TV sessions or you want to occupy them for a few minutes without a screen—airplane busy boxes are a fun way to pass the time. Make them yourself by filling a pencil case with a variety of small toys and games suitable for your child, or head to Etsy and buy one, made-to-order. Stellar seller 2Plus3EqualsWe makes magical ones that can be personalized with your child's name.

Insider Tip: Don't show them to your kids until you're up in the air!

"Surprise Eggs" are your friends.

If the wild success of YouTube channels like Ryan's World is any indication, simply opening a toy is almost more fun than playing with it. So bring along wrapped or boxed toys that your child can "unbox" while in flight. It can be as simple as filling plastic Easter eggs with tiny toys from the Dollar Store or buying pre-made kits online, like this 30 toy-filled eggs set on Amazon. Our choice: "Surprise Balls" like Mini Brands Toys (which come with tiny replicas of popular toys and are gender-neutral) take at least 15-20 minutes to unwrap, open, and explore, and they're relatively small to toss in your carry-on. Keep them a secret, then hand them over when your kids get fidgety.

Insider Tip: Bring Play-Doh for kids to stick to the tray table—it works great for anchoring small toys in place!

Listen to Stories.

There are only so many books you can bring to read to your child on a plane. So leave the storytelling to this genius little gadget that makes it easy for kids to listen to stories or songs without needing to know how to read the controls. All they have to do is slide the sturdy story card into the slot and push a button. Content cards range from Disney faves like Frozen and Spider-Man to kid-lit classics like The Magic Treehouse and Ramona Quimby. There are even cards that let you record your voice so you can read a story, sing a song, or just talk to your child and they can listen to your voice on demand.

Bring triangular crayons.

Coloring is a no-brainer way to help pass the time on a long flight. To keep crayons from slipping and sliding off of the fold-down tray, bring triangle-shaped ones that will lay flat.

Tether important toys.

Your kid won't travel without her favorite lovey, but you know that doll is bound to end up on the dirty airplane floor. What's a parent to do? Strap one of these handy tethers onto your kids' important items to keep them from falling onto the ground (or getting lost). Note: You can attach one end to your child's wrist (or yours) if you can't find any other place to loop it.

Check the car seat.

Don’t feel like lugging your toddler’s car seat but need something more than the airplane seatbelt to keep your little wiggler in place? Try this airplane hack that uses a safety harness that straps onto the airplane seat to create the same sort of five-point harness your child is used to, without the bulk. Because it holds the child's chest area as well as the waist—the same way a car seat seatbelt does—the FlySafe harness can help restless kids fall asleep more easily on a plane. It is designed for kids that weigh 22-44 pounds and is small enough to fit in your purse.

Use a folding travel desk to keep things within reach.

If your child likes to draw or craft her way through a long flight, a fold-out desk like this one is the perfect way to keep all those art supplies within reach and off the airplane floor. There are pockets for all the things your child needs, and it folds up easily for easy carrying to and from your destination. It also works to cover that infamously dirty tray table.

Roll your child through the airport.

When you're rushing to make a flight and you don't want to worry about your child toddling into restricted areas or making a beeline for the airport store, this strap-on child seat fits on the back of your rolling luggage and lets your kid cruise right along with your carry-on. It works with children up to 50 pounds and attaches to any 20-24" rolling suitcase. Want something a little more sophisticated? Micro's Luggage Eazy has a built-in kid seat on the top of its roller case so you can zip through the terminal in style.

Get a seat with a bassinet.

Did you know most international flights offer bassinets that attach to the wall of the front row in coach? It's true... and it's amazing! To secure one of the few seats on the plane that offer this perk, book your seats way ahead of time by calling the airline directly and requesting the bassinet seats. The bassinets make a great napping and tummy time space and are available for babies up to about a year (though age and weight limits vary per airline). Check out this post from FlyingwithaBaby, which compares bassinet seats (and rules for them) for almost all major airlines.

Bring pain relief, just in case.

The last thing you want when you've just reached cruising altitude is to hear the sad wail from your little one that can only mean one thing: something hurts. To help any in-flight ouchies (such as ear pain, which is common during the winter when kids have constant stuffiness), bring a bottle of infant or child Tylenol or Advil (plus the measuring cup that comes with it), just in case.

Use disposable mats on airplane trays.

You don't want to know what might be lurking on the tray table where your one-year-old just plopped his pacifier. One of our favorite airline hacks is to keep those yuckies covered with a disposable like this "Tray Mask." That way, when your kids pour their pretzels out of the bags (because you know they will), you can rest assured knowing the table is clean.

Stash pacifiers in condiment cups.

If you don't want your extra pacifiers collecting dirt and grime, grab a few extra to-go dressing cups the next time you eat out. Each one is a perfect binky-holder.

Get this suitcase that doubles as a lay-flat bed.

JetKids has invented what may be the coolest travel gadget for kids: The JetKids By Stokke Bedbox works as a scooter suitcase in the airport (your kids can roll themselves or be pulled by you) and transforms into a lay-flat bed for babies and toddlers in-flight. At $199, it's a pricey purchase, but considering the peace of mind you'll get knowing your little one will snooze the flight away, it may be worth it.

Read our in-depth review of the BedBox here.

Use free printables.

If the power on the tablet runs out, and you're up for a family game, whip out a few air travel BINGO cards and start scanning the aisles for your winning items. See a beverage cart? Check!! Hear someone sneeze? BINGO! You can make your own cards or try one of these free printables.

Conquer achy ears.

A mom using airplane hacks while traveling with a toddler — Paul Hanaoka via Unsplash

The frequent flyers over at Nourishing Little Souls picked up this hack from a flight attendant for when their little ones’ ears pop en route. Simply pour steaming hot water onto paper towels and stuff them into the bottom of two cups. Then, hold the cups so that they’re sealed over your kid’s ears; any pressure disappears in a flash.

Make in-flight snack time a game.

Tots love to open and close things, so take a cue from Lemon Stripes by stretching out the mid-flight snack by stashing their favorite nibbles—goldfish, granola, raisins—into a days-of-the-week pill case. They'll get a kick out of popping open each compartment and picking out the treats inside.

Use saran wrap or portable cup covers to minimize in-flight spills.

Keep in-flight juice messes to a minimum by covering open cups (like the ones flight attendants hand out) with a piece of Press n' Seal. Stick a straw into the top and voila! Looking for something you can use again and again? Try these ingenious portable cup covers that fit onto almost any cup.

Abandon screen time rules.

If endless episodes of Dora The Explorer or a few hours of Minecraft is all it takes to keep your little jet-setter happy on a cross-country journey, let it happen. When it comes to screen time on an airplane, we say there are no rules. Quiet kids = Happy plane.

Insider Tip: If you're downloading movies to the tablet, don’t forget a jack splitter so your kids can watch together. Also, don't forget to download your airline's app so you can watch free movies and shows in-flight (most airplanes without courtesy screens offer this).

Bring lots of lollipops.

Hear us out: If your kids are having trouble popping their ears during takeoff and landing, sucking on lollipops can help. It also helps during temper tantrums and meltdowns (You're on a plane: You do what you have to do). Don't be afraid to offer them to the harried parents a few rows up—this airplane hack works like magic.

9 Ways to Build Trust with Your Tween

by Melissa HeckscherJuly 20, 2023

While they won’t help with the inevitable eye roll, these tips can help you connect and build mutual trust

If you’ve got kids approaching the tween years, you’re probably a little nervous (ok, let’s be honest—totally freaked out) about what’s going to happen when that inevitable sprout of independence blooms. Will you still know what’s going on at school, after school, or with friends? And, most importantly: How will you stay connected and close? The answer? Mutual trust. We asked experts to tell us some of the best ways to build trust with kids before they become teenagers.

Here’s what they said about building trust with tweens

1. Talk to them!

According to Mindy McKnight, author of VIRAL PARENTING: A Guide to Setting Boundaries, Building Trust, and Raising Responsible Kids in an Online World, the most important thing parents can do to build trust with their kids is to talk to them. Like, REALLY talk. The mom of six says, “Do your best to have open and honest conversations as often as you can. Yes, talk about the easy stuff like friends, school, interests, and memories, but don’t be afraid to delve into the more difficult stuff as well. Like bullying, sexuality, puberty, and hormones. Parents should be the first (and most reliable) source of information when it comes to establishing the foundation for their newly-forming ideals and opinions.”

Of course, finding time to talk can be tough. Try getting a few words in at bedtime or on car drives, when your kids are less likely to be distracted by screens, homework, or siblings.

2. Listen carefully to their perspectives—and validate what they are saying to you.

“When I was 12, we visited my uncle, who worked as a fertility endocrinologist in California. He was discussing abortion with another adult in the room, and I vividly remember him turning to me and asking what my opinion was on the subject. At age 12, I’m not sure I even really knew enough to have an opinion, but I remember exactly how I felt when he believed I might have something important to say. I felt so important. Ask your tweens their thoughts on important subjects, and you might just be surprised by what they have to say. Conversations like these also help them to become more informed and to share their opinions in a mature and respectful way,” says McKnight.

3. Be specific when setting boundaries—and stick to them.

Consistency and reliability are important building blocks of trust. If you’re going to set rules, make sure you’re specific, and stick to the rules and the consequences you’ve laid out if they aren’t followed. “We love contracts in our family. They help us ensure we have discussed all the different rules, potential outcomes, and subsequent consequences in teen-sensitive areas like the usage of smartphones, laptops, social media, cars, etc. Be careful not to establish consequences that you won’t actually enforce. Your war will be lost before you even begin,” McKnight says.

4. Take interest in your tween’s interests.

“If you notice that they have a specific interest in something, like video games or fashion, be sure to make that an interest for you too,” Mcknight says. “Learn about it, and talk about it. Even if the activity isn’t something you particularly love. Taking part in it will help open up many opportunities to spend quality time with your child, and communication with them will become much easier. Try it, and you’ll be surprised at how well this works.”

dad talking with his tween daughter — *iStock*

5. Answer their questions without judgment.

When a child or tween asks you questions about something—whether it’s something they saw on TV or something they heard in school—answer them without judgment. According to New York psychologist Sanam Hafeez, “Most parents just go into panic mode asking where they heard what they heard and then judging and getting negative. When kids feel as if they can communicate openly with parents without it turning into drama—or worse, accusations and arguing—they’ll be more trusting of their parents and will value their guidance and advice.”

6. Honor their personal space.

By age 8 or 9, privacy starts to become important to kids. Consequently, that’s when parents need to start respecting their personal space—for instance, always knocking on their door (or the bathroom door) instead of just barging in. “Respect and trust are intertwined. When a tween is concerned that their parents might move their things in their room, or think nothing about coming into the bathroom while they are showering, or randomly redecorate something in their room without first checking with them, it can fracture the trust,” Hafeez says.

Note: If you have a house policy where all doors must be open a few inches, Hafeez said you can stick to that rule but still knock and peek in before swinging the door open.

7. Lead by example.

If your eyes are constantly on your phone, and then you scold your kids for being glued to their iPads, they won’t be as willing to take you at your word. Be ready to “walk the walk” when you set rules for the family. Hafeez says, “Declaring you are going to revamp the way the family eats and then actually involve the tween in meal-planning… that could be a fun way to show that you stick to what you say you are going to do. This inspires trust and respect.”

8. Show your tween that you respect them.

Trust hinges on respect—and this respect should be mutual. So show your tweens that you respect them—even when they misbehave or disappoint you. When your child sneaks his iPad (again) on a school night, for instance, sit him down and admit that you’re disappointed. Ask him why he finds it hard to follow a particular rule and listen to his feelings about it. Whatever you do, don’t make rash statements like, “Why can’t you ever follow the rules?” or “We just can’t trust you.” Those statements just make kids feel like their parents don’t respect (or believe in) them. Parenting expert and former high school teacher Kara Carerro noted on her blog, “When a child grows up respected, they are more apt to confide in and trust their parents.”

9. Show your kids unconditional love.

Sure, you know that you love your kids unconditionally—but do they know? In this article, outreach specialist Tyler Jacobson says it’s important to show your kids that your love never diminishes or disappears. “The fact that you love them and want to rebuild your trust could go a long way to setting the tone for healing. Even when kids are little, it can be hard to forgive quickly, offer support for every little thing, and accept them for who they are NOW. But these are all ways to show unconditional love,” he says.

10 Times Your Daughter Shouldn’t Say Sorry

By Raising Awesome Girls Powered By Girl Scouts

Tinybeans Voices Contributor

February 19, 2023

You’re raising your girl to be responsible for what she says and does and to know when and how to give a sincere apology when she messes up. But is she apologizing more than she needs to?

Studies show women are more likely than men to presume they were in the wrong or think their own actions might have upset someone, and those patterns start early. There could be many reasons for this, but some think girls and women are quick to apologize because they’re taught to “keep the peace” and be nurturers who put the emotional wellbeing and happiness of others first.

So often, girls and women start talking by saying, “I’m sorry, but I feel like [fill in the blank]”—and that sentence structure can literally become a habit. The problem? When your girl apologizes for something that wasn’t her fault, others might start to see her as someone who is at fault. Someone whose shortcomings inconvenience others, even if that’s far from the case.

Read this list from Girl Scouts with your girl, and remind her that although it’s important to make amends when she’s truly done something wrong, apologizing when she hasn’t can undermine how others see her and damage her self-worth.

There’s No Need to Say “Sorry”…

1. When someone bumps into her. She has just as much of a right to take up space in this world as anyone else.

2. When she tried her best. Maybe she didn’t win the science fair or make the basketball team, and that’s OK. Nobody’s perfect.

3. When she’s not feeling well, even if it messes up plans for others. It’s not like she went around looking for germs. Help her focus on getting better instead of apologizing.

4. For leaving when someone makes her feel uncomfortable or unsafe. One of the most important things to explain to your girl is that she doesn’t need to “be polite” or stay in the same vicinity as someone who makes her feel uncomfortable or unsafe. She just needs to get out of there and tell a caring adult as fast as possible.

5. For her feelings. Some might be uncomfortable with your girl’s anger, sadness, or disappointment, but that doesn’t mean those feelings are bad or wrong.

6. For sticking up for herself. It takes guts to take a stand and defend yourself or others against bullies. Doing the right thing is never something to apologize for.

7. For having high expectations. Expecting the people in her life to follow through and keep their word isn’t a crime.

8. For setting boundaries. Whether a friend wants to cheat off her homework or someone is invading her personal space, she has every right to say no.

9. For sharing knowledge. Knowing her stuff and using the information to help others is awesome. Someone else’s insecurity is not your girl’s problem.

10. For her appearance. Who does she get dressed for in the morning? Herself. If others don’t like it, that’s fine.

So what can she say instead of sorry? Tell your girl to start by saying how she’s feeling in short, declarative sentences. So instead of “I’m sorry, I have a question,” she could say, “I have a question.” Skipping the apology doesn’t make her rude—in fact, it puts apologies back in their rightful role as a way to make amends when she’s actually done something hurtful or wrong.

Stress to your girl the importance of speaking with intention. Apologizing for no reason or when she’s not at fault dilutes the sentiment. Have her save it for when it counts. When it’s heartfelt and for the right reasons, the power of “sorry” will be more meaningful both to her and to the person on the receiving end!

Want more tips on Raising Awesome Girls? We’ve got you covered.

Originally published December 2019. This post originally appeared on Raising Awesome Girls, powered by Girl Scouts.

Raising Awesome Girls Powered By Girl Scouts

Tinybeans Voices Contributor

Raising girls to be happy, healthy, and successful is simpler than ever with help from Girl Scouts. From knowing how much to help with her homework to navigating sensitive issues in the news with your family, we've got everything you need to raise girls with confidence.

This Guy’s Going Very Viral for Nailing the Amazingly Terrible Things About Summer

by Julie ScagellAugust 2, 2022

You won’t find a person who despises summer more than Wic Whitney

If you find hot weather miserable and can’t fathom why people get so excited to be outdoors in the hot, hot summer sun, meet your new BFF, Wic Whitney. Whitney’s TikTok videos are both impressive (he’s got quite the set of pipes) and hilarious, but there are a few on the summer weather that must be seen (over and over and over) to be truly appreciated.

His viral TikTok titled, “658 people die from heat every year,” is a compilation of everything Whitney despises about June through August, including but not limited to people, “sticky” kids, sweating, bugs, a lack of personal space, and the sun, which “becomes homicidal.” He spends a fair amount of time on the sweating, describing it perfectly as “a bath from your body where you get dirtier.”

@wicmakesmusic

658 people die from heat every year. #summerday #summerishere #finallypostingonhere

♬ original sound – Wic Whitney

He also spends time complaining about eating outdoors in another video because it’s the season when people demand to eat on patios. “I didn’t want to sit in the building where you’re specifically supposed to enjoy food,” he laments. “I wanted to sit outside that building and look at all the happy people inside while I fight off every bug that’s trying to get into the holes in my face.” He’s not wrong. Why wouldn’t you want to sit inside where the food and air conditioning is located instead of feeling like you’ve been sucked inside a dryer?

@wicmakesmusic

As Good As I Once Was at riding, I Should’ve Been A Cowboy. I’d would’ve gotten a Red Solo Cup and filled it with Beer For My Horses. See, I was Made In America and live by the Courtesy Of The Red White And Blue………..wait Who’s That Man? Don’t Let The Old Man In!! You Shouldn’t Kiss Me Like That!!….eh fuck it I Love This Bar!! Happy Birthday America!

♬ original sound – Wic Whitney

Wic Whitney is described on his website as “an Arkansas-bred, Chicago-based creative,” who melds “southern soul and smooth rhythm into quick-witted and introspective storytelling that invites his fans to be present in every moment.” We don’t know about his singing, but his TikToks do just that.

Just take his one on hugging season, which we personally think should become an immediate placeholder in everyone’s calendars. “Hugging season,” which starts in October according to Whitney, will prevent everyone from hugging him during sweating season, which is the entirety of the summer. If you go in for a hug before October, he wants to warn you that it will feel “like a seal smothering a swan.” You’ve been warned.

@wicmakesmusic

I am wet. Please help me. #summerishere #donthug #sweat

♬ original sound – Wic Whitney

Truly, Whitney’s attitude is something we can get behind when it comes to the summer heat. And hey, if you enjoy being outside when it’s 105 degrees, have at it—more room in a nicely cooled restaurant for the rest of us.

8 Easy Tips for Transitioning to a Tween Room

by Jennifer Massoni PardiniAugust 2, 2022

Just as we watched our babies transform into opinionated toddlers and then imaginative school-goers, our rising tweens reveal ever more of their personalities and passions that aren’t so little anymore. A big part of instilling confidence along the way is showing our respect for their self-expression—their rooms being an important extension of that. Read on for fun and inspiring tween room decor ideas to help make their space truly their own.

Start with a Clean Slate

tween room for a girl — NeONBRAND via Unsplash

Wall space is one of the first terrains you may remember taking control of yourself, whether you collaged photos of friends or hung posters of your favorite bands (or 90210 stars). If your tweens have lived and played in their rooms since nursery-hood, it may well be time for a fresh coat of paint anyway (in a color or fun accent of their choosing). Then let them change up what most inspires them. If you have framed prints they want to update, sites like Etsy, Wayfair and Minted have a range of options and price points. A large bulletin board is easy to refresh, and storyboarding is also a great study tool for visual learners.

Carve Out a Creative Corner

modern tween room — Gabriel Beaudry via Unsplash

The experts at Highlights Learning say it’s a great idea to have a “school stuff” zone, so everything is in one place, making staying on top of schoolwork all the easier. If your tween doesn’t already have a study station, go for a desk that will last through this next stage of her education when she'll be working independently. If you’re short on space, set something up under a lofted bed, go DIY with a hideaway desk, or even retrofit a closet. (We have many more workstation ideas rounded up, too.) And don’t forget wall space when it comes to keeping workflow in check and in style, like a chalkboard calendar, functional pegboard or mounted storage.

Delegate Organization

Remember those early years of rounding up their toys, puzzles and miscellaneous “projects” every night before bed? Now that it’s their job to keep a tidy room, help your tween stay organized by stowing away anything on the loose in stylish storage bins, like these hand-crafted, 100% cotton, and naturally dyed baskets from Lorena Canals. We love that these are also machine washable and available in ash-rose, aubergine, black, and vintage blue.

Clean Out the Bookshelf

It’s that time again to weed shelves and make room for all the new titles they’ll be bringing home in middle school. While they may be reading a fair share on tablets or computers, it’s essential to have real deal books within reach to keep encouraging reading for fun. For age-specific reading inspiration, check out our list of some of the best graphic novels for tweens and teens.

Update the Sleep Zone

Just as you once transitioned that crib to a toddler or twin bed, it may again be time to re-think sleep. If you have space to work with, consider upgrading to a full or queen that will him off to college (and serve as future guest accommodations, too). Or, perhaps you’re keeping twin beds on hand for the sleep-over circuit now in full swing. No matter the sleeping arrangement, the bedding theme itself could most likely use a refresh.

Let Their Personal Passion Shine

By this age, many tweens are well on their way to honing a sport, hobby or passion. Their personal space can certainly reflect that, be it a guitar propped in a corner for an aspiring shredder, an oversized world map for a traveler in training, or a printing service for a budding photographer’s latest shots. These metal wall signs from Pottery Barn are perfect for sports fans.

Re-Organize the Closet

Just as their rooms do, closets should also grow and adapt as our kids do. Marty Basher, an interior design expert at Modular Closets, has some choice tips for tween parents when it comes to organizing closets. “Formal events, dances, concerts, and performances bring the need for more hanging space in the closet,” Basher says. “With their input you can create a space to hang jewelry and formal dresses or suits and uniforms and full-size sports equipment.” Basher also advises adding hooks, a full-length mirror, and shoe storage solutions. “Use under the bed storage for off-season shoes and boots and only have what they’ll need for the season in the closet. Make use of boxes and baskets for high storage of items they don’t use regularly but can reach now when they need them.”

Add a Dash of Green

Houseplants do so much to bring fresh air and energy to our interior spaces. So why not give your tween room a little something living to tend to that will give a little fresh O2 in return for a brain boost? You can even rent a plant for a few months to see how your tween does with the new responsibility.

RELATED STORIES: 10 Genius Ways to Hack an Amazing Kid’s Room

Nearly Half of Children with ADHD Are Victims of Bullying

by Karly WoodApril 11, 2022

Children with ADHD already face more barriers than most, and now a study is revealing one more: bullying. The Journal of Attention Disorders has released data from from the 2016 to 2017 National Survey of Children’s Health and it shows some interesting statistics on just how many children with ADHD are bullied.

The survey observed children six to 17 years old with ADHD and looked at the association between bullying reported by parents, either as a victim or a perpetrator, and potential predictors. These included family and school factors, the children’s behavior and demographic characteristics.

The survey found an alarming number: 46.9% of children with ADHD were victims of bullying. As for those who were perpetrators, 16.2% were found to be children with ADHD.

So what exactly causes this link? Those who were found to be victims exhibited a developmental delay or intellectual disability, had family financial strain, difficulties with friendship and problems reported by school.

The Drake Institute shares that “children with ADHD may become easier targets for bullies due to certain behaviors they tend to exhibit, such as making impulsive behaviors or comments, being clumsy, not understanding personal space, violating others’ boundaries, or struggling academically.”

When it comes to perpetrators, factors included a lack of school engagement, difficulty staying calm and having friendships, receiving government aid, being male and problems at school. “The very same impulsivity and social difficulties that make kids with ADD more likely to be targets of bullying may also lead them to take out their frustrations on others and become more aggressive,” the Drake Institute reveals.

The study identified key issues in both victims and perpetrators so what now? First, it’s important for both parents and educators to know the potential factors listed above and be aware of the signs of bullying. Next, ADDitude believes “The most effective way parents can buffer against bullying is by helping kids manage their ADHD symptoms through medical, educational, and behavioral interventions – acting as a social coach to help improve skills.”

FDA Approves First Prescription Video Game for Kids with ADHD

Getting Help for ADD/ADHD

My Young Sons Aren’t “Heartbreakers.” Here’s Why

By Elizabeth Brunner

Tinybeans Voices Contributor

October 4, 2021

When I realized I was going to be a #boymom, I mentally prepared myself for a lot of things from being completely surrounded by testosterone to having to wipe the toilet down multiple times a day. What I wasn’t prepared for was the influx of outdated and insulting stereotypical phrases directed towards young boys.

From the moment onlookers experienced my five-year-old’s heartwarming hugs or my 2-year-old’s swoon-worthy dimples, I’d be bombarded with “compliments” ranging from “He’s gonna break some hearts” to “That’s an aspiring lady killer” and “He’ll definitely be a ladies man.” And then, we have “Boys don’t cry.” “Boys will be boys.” “Boys are much rougher than girls.” Every time those remarks hit my ear, I’d instantly cringe. I understood there was no malice behind these phrases. They were people making conversation, trying to connect. But what I heard were stereotypes being perpetuated onto my young sons. And these stereotypes had the capacity to do very real damage to their sense of self, their relationships, and even their safety. Let me explain.

I believe children hear and absorb more than we realize. But young children don’t necessarily have the capacity to decipher these supposed “well-meaning” phrases. If they hear them enough and start internalizing them, there’s a chance they become a reflection of those stereotypes. They become boys who grow up to lack respect for another person’s body and personal space, demean another’s display of emotions and not feel the need to be held responsible for it because “boys will be boys.” That is not what I want for my kids.

And it’s even more essential for me to shut down these stereotypes because I’m the mom to two Black boys. When I hear them, I feel like these phrases have the potential to erase the small dose of innocence little Black boys are allowed in a world destined to vilify them. Being wild and rough, or being a “heartbreaker” in relationships are generalizations society routinely associates with Black men. However, the difference is that when Black boys absorb those generalizations, there is little grace that may be extended to white children. According to a 2014 study conducted by the American Psychological Association, Black boys are viewed as older and less innocent in comparison to white boys from the age of 10—which leads to harsher disciplinary actions.

Words have power. I want my children to be well-adjusted, functioning members of society. That’s why I do everything in my power to not only shower them with positive affirmations, but I correct any adult who dares repeat those narrow minded ideologies about or around my children in the hopes they will one day learn the error in their words.

Until then, I’ll continue to do what I can to surround my boys with positive images of masculinity and defy gender stereotypes in the hopes that they will learn that “boys will not be boys.” Instead, boys can aspire to be “good people.”

—Written by Terri Huggins Hart
Terri Huggins Hart is a nationally-published journalist, freelance writer, and public speaker. Find her on Instagram @terrificwords.

This post originally appeared on StereoType.

Elizabeth Brunner

Tinybeans Voices Contributor

Elizabeth Brunner is a San Francisco-based designer and the founder of StereoType, a gender-free, st‌yle-forward kids clothing brand that’s designed to celebrate individuality and freedom of self-expression by blending traditional ideas of boys’ and girls’ wear. StereoType combines st‌yle, design and comfort to inspire creativity, individuality and freedom of expression.

Making a New House Feel like Home after Divorce

By Elise Buie, Esq.

Tinybeans Voices Contributor

June 29, 2021

For newly divorced moms and dads, moving to a new home can be another stressful layer to an already stressful situation.

Among kids, an unwanted move can result in feelings of sadness, anger, and resentment. Losing the home they know and love comes as a blow as another part of their lives spins out of control.

Here are a few tips to help kids transition to a new home after divorce:

1. Address any emotions your children may have about the move.

Moving homes brings about complex emotions children may not understand, even if they know what divorce is. You may believe acting happy and convincing them nothing is wrong is best. However, this behavior teaches children to avoid emotions and can result in long-term problems. Instead, address the feelings your children may be experiencing head-on. Start a conversation, then listen. Kristin Davin, Psy.D., a therapist from New York City, says, “It’s critical parents provide emotional space for their children to express how they’re doing so they not only feel safe but also understood.”

Having children read age-appropriate books about moving and handling change and calling on a therapist or child psychologist can help.

2. Make moving day as low-stress as possible.

Moving day won’t come without stress. That said, as a parent, you set the tone. “Children take their cues from their parents, so a parent’s ability to manage stress is key,” says Davin. If you’re pessimistic, your children will notice. They may then have trouble adjusting. Davin suggests parents talk with their kids beforehand. “The day doesn’t have to be stress-free. But talking to children before a big move about what would help them feel less stressed is wise. You want children to feel they’re part of the process and recognize you’re all in it together and still a family.”

Other ways to decrease stress on moving day include making sure you and your children are well-rested and well-fed. Also, keep a box of your children’s favorite possessions nearby and all in one place, so they’re readily available for the first night in their new environment.

Consider sending your children to their grandparents’ house or with another relative or friend for moving day and maybe a few days after it. With the kids away from the chaos, you’ll be better able to prepare your home for a peaceful transition.

3. Let your children decorate their room.

Your children should feel like the new house is their home, too. That’s especially true of their bedroom. Denise Allen, a Washington State-based organizational expert and the owner of Simplify Experts, recommends parents give children input in setting up their new space. “Allow them to feel like they have some ownership of the space and that it doesn’t just feel like a guest room.”

By letting kids decorate, it’ll feel like their personal space sooner. They’ll grow attached more quickly because they’ll feel personally invested. They may likewise gain a sense of control over their environment where it might’ve been lacking before. Not to mention, Allen says, “Parents will have more buy-in for the maintenance of the space if kids are proud of it.” Allen suggests parents be mindful of the activities that will take place in that area. Parents should consider whether kids will be studying in their room and if the setup plays well into their learning st‌yle. For example, is the lighting adequate for doing homework?

4. Establish a routine for your children.

Changing homes threatens stability, making it critical for parents to establish a routine as soon as possible for their children, even if it’s a new one. Kids want to know what’s around the bend. “Starting them off with a bit less stress will help them feel good and empowered,” says Davin.

A routine preoccupies children. It prevents them from fixating on unsettling events, keeping them grounded in the present and looking to the future. Dinner is at six o’clock, bedtime at eight. It also puts transitions into bite-sized pieces, which kids can manage. As they see that what you predict happens, they’ll worry less another change will come out of nowhere.

5. Keep the new space orderly.

Related to creating a routine for your family, especially children, is keeping your new space in order. Allen says, “A calm living environment offers a great sense of control and a place for the brain to relax.”

Moving also provides an excellent and often welcome opportunity to purge possessions that have been weighing you down. Children, even younger ones, can benefit from a purge and reorganization of their toys, games, and books. With clutter gone, kids can focus on the items that make them happy. Plus, they have room to put their stamp on the new space, making it their own.

As for moving forward, Allen says maintenance is critical. “Simple organizational systems are key, and the more visual they are, the better.”

6. Give kids time and space to adjust to their new home.

Divorced parents may want their children to immediately accept the new home, seeing it as a sign they’re coming to terms with the divorce. But just as you need to get used to your situation, your kids will, too. Davin says, “Thinking they should adjust in a certain way by a certain time puts pressure on children and can make them feel like something is wrong with them.” Instead, she recommends parents do check-ins and ask their kids what they need and how they’re doing while still giving them time and privacy to figure things out.

But more than anything, Davin says, “Let your kids know you’re around for them whenever they need you. It’s the people who live in a house, not the house itself, that make a home.”

Elise Buie, Esq.

Tinybeans Voices Contributor

Elise Buie, Esq. is a Seattle-based family and divorce lawyer and founder of Elise Buie Family Law Group. A champion for maintaining civility throughout the divorce process, Elise advocates for her clients and the best interests of their children, helping them move forward with dignity and strength.

Dear Daughters, I Saw Your Struggles This School Year

By Jamie Edelbrock

Tinybeans Voices Contributor

June 7, 2021

Photo: Anton Shuvalov on Unsplash

Dear Daughters,

This week is the last week of school before summer break begins, and what a year it has been. During a global pandemic, online school, and several hardships, you made it.

This school year was rough. You spent the school year at home, working on makeshift desks. Your schoolwork was scattered around your bedroom floors instead of in lockers or cubbies. You couldn’t stand side by side with your friends during concerts, plays, and performances. There have been no laughter-filled cafeterias, crowded hallways, trips to the school library, or bumpy field trip bus rides.

Your teachers worked with you through computer screens and zoom squares, your counselors supported you, and your peers wanted to be with you. However, I was the lucky one to see you in person every day this school year.

I saw all of you overcome social anxiety and show your face on zoom. I saw you make new friends and include the ones that were left out. I saw you stand up for yourself when you were mistreated. I saw you advocate for yourself, block bullies, and speak up. I saw you work hard even when not feeling up to it. I saw you overcome stage fright to sing your song and act in your play. I saw you try new foods and conquer new recipes. I saw you fix broken technology, read new books, and learn new languages. I saw you gain patience as you worked through frustrating assignments. I saw you come up with practical solutions for tough projects. I saw you become best friends with each other. I saw you swallow your pride, and you ask when you needed help. I saw you take breaks when you needed peace. I saw you keep going when you wanted to give up. I saw you help around the house without being asked, and I saw you take pride in your personal space. With our home as your classroom, I got to see you grow smarter, wiser, and kinder every day.

The solitude was unfair, and I am sorry there are no in-person ceremonies or celebrations with certificates. Your achievements deserve to be celebrated. So, as you close your laptops one last time this school year, know that if it were up to me, dear daughters, you would win the award for resilience, and you would get honors in strength and a medal for perseverance.

You will never forget this school year; it was unlike any other. As you prepare for in-person school again, I hope that you hold your mom-given accolades in your heart. For they hold lessons of bravery wrapped in love, and they shaped you into who you are now. Stronger, braver, brighter, and ready for whatever comes next. I am proud of you, and you should be proud of yourself too.

I love you.

—Mom

This post originally appeared on www.jamieedelbrock.com.

Jamie Edelbrock

Tinybeans Voices Contributor

Jamie is married to her high school sweetheart and has three beautiful daughters. Through years of experience working with children, and raising her own, she knows how difficult parenting can be. She is an advocate for children's mental health and is best known for her creativity, optimism, and kind heart.

1. Empathize with Their Feelings

2. Give Them Reassurance

3. Teach Self-Calming Skills

4. Give Them a Choice

5. Redirect Focus

6. Don’t Fix It

7. Stick with Your Normal Routine

8. Find Time to Have Special Moments

9. Don’t Underestimate the Power of Hugs

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Our favorite airplane hack while traveling with kids? Saran wrap

Fly on a Tuesday or Wednesday.

Get TSA PreCheck status to breeze through security.

Pre-order meals and snacks.

Sit up front if you're worried about motion sickness—and the back if you're potty training.

Use this hands-free phone hack to make watching movies easy.

Use a pillowcase to bring extra items on board.

Use packing cubes to grab-and-go.

Use this blow-up footrest to make naps happen.

Use a phone wallet for easy access to travel documents and credit cards.

Use busy boxes to keep kids entertained without screens.

"Surprise Eggs" are your friends.

Listen to Stories.

Bring triangular crayons.

Tether important toys.

Check the car seat.

Use a folding travel desk to keep things within reach.

Roll your child through the airport.

Get a seat with a bassinet.

Bring pain relief, just in case.

Use disposable mats on airplane trays.

Stash pacifiers in condiment cups.

Get this suitcase that doubles as a lay-flat bed.

Use free printables.

Conquer achy ears.

Make in-flight snack time a game.

Use saran wrap or portable cup covers to minimize in-flight spills.

Abandon screen time rules.

Bring lots of lollipops.

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While they won’t help with the inevitable eye roll, these tips can help you connect and build mutual trust

Here’s what they said about building trust with tweens

1. Talk to them!

2. Listen carefully to their perspectives—and validate what they are saying to you.

3. Be specific when setting boundaries—and stick to them.

4. Take interest in your tween’s interests.

5. Answer their questions without judgment.

6. Honor their personal space.

7. Lead by example.

8. Show your tween that you respect them.

9. Show your kids unconditional love.

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You won’t find a person who despises summer more than Wic Whitney

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Start with a Clean Slate

Carve Out a Creative Corner

Delegate Organization

Clean Out the Bookshelf

Update the Sleep Zone

Let Their Personal Passion Shine

Re-Organize the Closet

Add a Dash of Green

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Elizabeth Brunner

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Elise Buie, Esq.

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Jamie Edelbrock

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