ML Interest Tag: postpartum-depression

10 Things Not to Do In Postpartum Recovery

by Tonilyn Hornung

After squeezing out a baby, your body feels like it’s been through the spin cycle of your washing machine. You’re exhausted and even the tips of your toes ache, but you still want to be there to look after your newborn. This means middle-of-the-night feedings, countless diaper changes, and basically doing all the things. But it’s important to remember to take care of yourself, too—and that includes knowing the things not to do after giving birth.

Elizabeth Quinkert, certified nurse-midwife and administrative director for the Tree of Life Birthing Center, says it’s a good idea to assemble your village before giving birth because as soon as the baby’s born, all focus moves to your newborn. “We’re so busy making sure the baby is taken care of, but birthing parents need time to recover as well,” Quinkert says, something that’s easy to forget when they jump into their caregiving role so quickly.

Whether you had a vaginal birth or a C-section, your body requires rest to rebuild. To help out your sleep-deprived brain, we’ve prepared an easy-to-follow list of the things you shouldn’t do after giving birth. If you have any questions about your postpartum recovery, don’t hesitate to contact your care provider.

1. Don’t drive.

Your brain might be telling you to get in the car and check some errands off your ever-growing list, but your body needs time to heal. Whether you’ve delivered vaginally or via cesarean section, one reason not to drive is blood loss. According to The March of Dimes, it’s normal to lose some blood after giving birth, but it can slow down your reaction time and impair your driving ability, Quinkert says.

So when is it safe for you to hop (or lightly step) behind the wheel again? Your healthcare provider can help you decide. Most experts suggest waiting two weeks before driving after you’ve had a baby. Since moving your foot from the gas to the break and turning your head to check your blind spots requires some ab work, Healthline suggests it can be longer if you had a C-section. If you’re taking opioid medication for pain management to assist in your recovery, discontinue use before you sit in the driver’s seat again.

2. Don’t ignore your pain or skip your checkups.

When you have a baby, stuff hurts. Your body is going to feel achy and exhausted from giving birth, and most of these feels are normal. Soreness, tiredness, and some emotional and hormonal changes are expected since your body has been through a major change, says the Cleveland Clinic. However, there are pain levels and symptoms you shouldn’t just “push through.” Quinkert says if the pain starts to become worse, you feel an unusual pressure, or notice an increase in swelling, these are symptoms to let your provider know about. If your overtired brain is wondering which aches and pains you shouldn’t ignore, the Cleveland Clinic lists the following as postpartum symptoms you don’t want to overlook:

  • Heavy bleeding
  • Significant pain or cramping
  • Severe headaches
  • Complications with tears or incisions
  • Incontinence
  • Frequent peeing or burning
  • Leg pain
  • Chest pain
  • Breast pain or burning

It’s also crucial to keep an eye on your mood and anxiety levels after bringing baby home—and this is where your postpartum checkups are particularly important. During these checkups, your doctor will do a physical exam to make sure your body is healing, but these appointments are also important mental health check-ins. Some sadness and worry are normal for a few weeks—you’ve probably heard of the “baby blues”—but if it remains or gets worse it could be a sign of postpartum depression (PPD), which Quinkert says doctors are always looking out for. Red flags include:

  • Feeling very weepy, guilty, or overwhelmed
  • Worrying that you are a bad mother
  • Losing interest in activities you used to enjoy
  • Not feeling a connection to your baby
  • Inability to take care of your baby
  • Lasting sadness or thoughts of hurting yourself or others (including your baby)
  • Changes in eating or sleeping patterns

If you are experiencing any of these symptoms, speak to your healthcare provider right away.

3. Don’t take a bath.

A nice warm bath to wash away your troubles might seem like just the thing after your labor and delivery and, well, this is partially true. Quinkert recommends a sitz bath to all her patients but not a wash with soap until you’ve healed up. This is especially true if you have episiotomy stitches (from an incision between the vagina and anus to help get your baby out).

“Put three to four inches of water in the tub with Epsom salts and then sit,” Quinkert explains. “That will help the healing process and the pain.” A typical postpartum sitz bath contains 1/2 cup of Epsom salt in 3 to 4 inches of water.

If you’re craving the healing (and cleaning) properties water offers, showering is totally fine, and Quinkert suggests showering first and then having a nice soak in a sitz bath afterward. According to the National Library of Medicine, wait three weeks to indulge in a long bath if you’ve had a C-section as immersing your incision could lead to an infection.

4. Don’t do all the things.

As if being on call for your newborn 24/7 isn’t enough, you may feel tempted to host tons of visitors who want to meet the baby or book a newborn photo shoot. “Women tend to overdo,” Quinkert explains. This is why she encourages her patients to take at least two weeks to heal and not push themselves. This means resting while your baby rests and allowing others to help out with household chores when possible. Quinkert reminds new mothers to eat and practice self-care. This slowing down will give your body time to regain its strength in the weeks following your delivery.

For those who delivered via C-section, you might need more time to take it easy in your baby bubble. While gentle walks and light housework can aid in your recovery, avoid heavy cleaning, jogging, and most exercises for 4-8 weeks to allow your body to heal after your surgery, per Mount Sinai Health System, and don’t lift anything heavier than your baby for 6-8 weeks. Give yourself permission to let the dirty dishes pile up or ask family and friends for help with your newborn while you recover. Also, don’t be shy to ask visitors to bring really useful items—like wipes, baby lotion, or nipple cream—instead of more baby blankets or tiny outfits.

Related: 6 Things New Moms Should Give Themselves Permission to Do

5. Don’t do the wrong kinds of exercise or overdo it.

You’ve had a baby, and you’re feeling ready to slowly start getting into your workout groove. It’s never a bad idea to see your healthcare provider and discuss when to start and what exercises are appropriate for your unique situation. If you’ve had an uncomplicated pregnancy and vaginal delivery, you could begin lightly exercising a few days after giving birth, according to the Mayo Clinic, or as soon as you feel ready.

When you’re first starting out, don’t jump into a hardcore baby boot camp! Low-impact activities like walking or a gentle postpartum exercise class are more your speed. Remember, your body is technically recovering from an injury, so it won’t be ready for planks, squats, or weight training. When it comes to the heavy lifting, Quinkert says if you’ve delivered vaginally, it’s recommended not to lift anything heavier than your baby for two weeks. If you’ve had a C-section, most experts suggest waiting 4-6 weeks. If you have any questions about your exercise plans, your doctor can help guide you.

6. Don’t forget to eat and drink.

While you were pregnant, you remembered to take your prenatal vitamins and avoid eating all the soft cheeses. Now you’re too engrossed in your newborn’s eating schedule to work in a sandwich of your own. But eating healthy meals will help your body heal, per The University of Rochester Medical Center.

Not skipping meals gives you the energy and strength that’s needed for those unpredictable sleepless nights, diaper explosions, and burping marathons with your newborn. To make this easier during postpartum, Quinkert says to be sure to eat foods like healthy proteins and vegetables that will help rebuild tissues. Proteins are the building blocks of the body, which help heal tears (like the tearing that can occur inside or around the vagina during labor), build strength in fatigued muscles, and give energy to the body. For those breastfeeding, the Mayo Clinic suggests this same healthy menu plus eating an additional 330 to 400 calories a day. Quinkert also encourages parents to ask family and friends to assist in meal prep and/or drop off lunches and dinners—especially for the first week.

And don’t forget your grandmother’s words of wisdom: drink plenty of water to stay hydrated, especially if you’re breastfeeding. “Much of the water in the mom’s body goes to the production of milk, so it can cause constipation for some,” Quinkert says. Drinking plenty and eating foods high in fiber can help keep things moving.

7. Don’t compare yourself to other moms.

While it might feel super good to comparison shop when strolling down the Target aisle, it doesn’t feel super good to compare yourself to other moms. “The comparisons start right away,” Quinkert observes. It’s super common for new moms to look outside themselves for validation that they’re doing their best.

However, when you start down the slippery slope of comparing parenting styles or your baby’s milestones with social media influencers or your next-door neighbor, this can lead to feelings of jealousy, frustration, and a loss of confidence. “You’re not going to parent the way your sister did, or your mom, or the way anyone else did,” Quinkert says. You do you and what works best for your newborn—she encourages you to stand strong in your parenting style.

8. Don’t rush into sex.

During postpartum, sex may very well be the last thing on your mind. Your body is hurting and all your energy goes to making sure your baby is healthy and happy. Still, let’s talk about sex. The Mayo Clinic says that while there’s no exact timeline for having sex after giving birth, most healthcare providers recommend waiting 4 to 6 weeks, regardless of how you delivered, to give your body time to heal.

Though some people wait less time and some wait longer, Quinkert emphasizes the importance of discussing pregnancy prevention. “Some people aren’t aware there’s a possibility you can get pregnant during this time,” she says. And feeling emotionally ready is also a consideration—for some moms, it can take months to want to get back in the saddle again. If you just need more time to heal or mentally prepare before you get into your sexy time, that’s alright, too.

9. Don’t hold back on asking for help.

The six weeks following your labor and delivery are full of every feel imaginable. One minute you giggle at the cuteness of your newborn, and the next you’re ugly crying because you can’t figure out how to soothe them. It’s easy to forget that there are people ready to support you through all these moments.

If friends or family offer to help, Quinkert says to accept it. She’s seen moms decline these offers because they believe that needing it makes them a “bad mother” or that it’s impolite to impose. Quinkert asks moms to reframe their viewpoint and “look at this as receiving instead of taking.” Changing your outlook here can help you accept the help you’re being offered. Postpartum can be difficult and lonely, and for those who have access to a strong support system, it can make all the difference.

10. Don’t forget to celebrate the little wins.

You made time to take a shower! You walked a block farther on your walk! You had a good feed! They may seem tiny, but when you’re in the thick of postpartum, even the smallest victories are actually huge. After all, having a baby is the only medical procedure where you’re expected to take care of another human while you’re also trying to take care of yourself, Quinkert reminds us. So be gentle with yourself throughout the process—and go ahead and pat yourself on the back for even the littlest of wins, because you’re ushering a new human into the world and that’s a feat if ever there was one.

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8 Things Every Mom Should Do After Having Her First Baby

by Marianella Orlando
Partner Content

Becoming a new mom is tough, but these postpartum self-care tips can help give you the nurturing you need.

Welcome to the rollercoaster ride of motherhood, where each day is a whirlwind of sleepless nights, a flood of emotions you never knew existed, and baby coos you wish you could play on repeat.

If you’re a new mom, congratulations on this incredible adventure you’re embarking on. Whether you’re just days, weeks, or months in, we can only imagine how the arrival of your tiny bean has left you feeling—unparalleled joy with a side of “oh gosh, I’m lost in a tornado of diapers and baby bottles”?

Though, it’s within this bittersweet chaos that you can easily forget the most crucial passenger on this wild ride…you. Yes, you, the superhero who brought a small human into the world.

As your friend, your confidant, and your friendly voice of reason, we’re here to help you navigate the postpartum journey (because you don’t need to do it alone!). From taking care of your mental health to recognizing when you need professional assistance and everything in between, let’s dive into our top postpartum self-care tips.

1. Take Care of You!

There’s no denying that parents put themselves on the back burner when it comes to their children. While you can’t help but make your little ones your number one priority, refusing to dedicate time for self-care can affect your overall parenting.

With your body requiring extra care and nourishment upon giving birth, it’s important to stay hydrated (is that water bottle on your nightstand empty?), eat a well-balanced diet rich in nutrients, and get some hard-earned rest—we know, it’s easier said than done! Incorporating gentle exercises into your routine can also expedite your recovery. It could be as simple as light walks or pelvic floor exercises, but the key is to move at your pace.

2. Keep an Eye Out for Signs of Postpartum Depression

Motherhood brings forth a lot of change, including a spectrum of ever-changing emotions. While some shades are less joyous than others, it’s crucial to recognize if you’re feeling trapped in a prolonged shadow of sadness, hopelessness, or worthlessness.

These feelings are correlated to postpartum depression, a type of mood disorder that affects up to 15% of women after childbirth. The medical condition, which is often mislabeled as “baby blues,” can develop within the first few weeks to months after giving birth. It’s also marked by other serious symptoms, like a lack of interest in once enjoyable activities, the inability to connect with your infant, and thoughts of self-harm. Acknowledge your feelings during this transitional period, and if you find yourself experiencing any of these symptoms, seek immediate help.

3. Seek Professional Help When Needed

Your mental health as a new parent is vital. Not only does it play a direct role in how you navigate the unpredictability of parenthood, but it also impacts the quality of your relationship with your baby. If you’re feeling like you need an outlet to work through what you’re experiencing, that’s okay. Know that seeking professional assistance is a courageous step—and one that should be met with praise and support.

With BetterHelp, an online therapy service, you can take appointments right from the comforts of your home, and on your schedule. That means you have a licensed therapist at your fingertips, available through text, phone, or video, all wrapped up in an affordable monthly subscription.

As the world’s largest therapy service, BetterHelp also gives you access to one of over 30,000 licensed therapists in their massive network based on your needs, preferences, and location, so you can match with a therapist in as little as just 48 hours. If you’re looking for a little extra support from other moms facing similar challenges, you can opt for group sessions. It’s like a virtual village just for you.

Try BetterHelp today and receive our exclusive Tinybeans offer. You’ll earn 25% off your first month!

4. Find Your Village

Moms, we know you carry the weight of the world on your shoulders, but navigating this new era shouldn’t be an act you bear alone. Finding a support system can be paramount for both your mental and emotional well-being, whether it’s your significant other, family, friends, or a mommy support group. Surrounding yourself with comfort, laughter, and shared experiences can be the safety net that’ll uplift you when you need it most.

5. Carve Out “Me Time”

Oftentimes, it’s easy for moms to fully embrace their role as caretakers, devoting all of their time and energy to their new bundle of joy. But it’s important to not lose sight of who you were before children, and to not forget about what brings you happiness and relaxation in the process.

Devote time throughout each week that puts your first, so you can maintain your identity outside of motherhood. Reconnect with hobbies you love, or indulge in a guilty pleasure—maybe a TV series that’s just for you. This time is crucial for recharging and preserving your mental and emotional health.

6. Recognize (& Celebrate!) How Far You’ve Come

With so much always happening at once, it’s easy to overlook the small victories of parenting. Take a step back and celebrate all that you’ve achieved and how much your baby has developed—because of you! Whether it’s your baby sleeping through the night or you mastered the art of one-handed diaper changes, these small wins contribute to your growth as a mother. Acknowledging them can give you the feel-good emotions you need to keep going.

7. Set Realistic Expectations

Hooray, you’ve been promoted to the new role of mom, but like any new job, this period comes with some adjustments and level setting. Set realistic expectations of what you can and cannot accomplish in one day to gift yourself some much-needed compassion and grace.

Consider simplifying your daily routines to manage the demands of caring for a newborn. Rather than going to the grocery store, try ordering your meals weekly from a meal delivery service. If you’re overwhelmed by neglected household chores, tackle one area of the house every few days or divide and conquer with your partner. Every day may not be picture-perfect, and that’s more than okay.

8. Nurture Your Relationship with Your Significant Other

Amidst the sleepless nights and never-ending sea of bottles, don’t forget to nurture the bond with your partner. Communication is key and understanding each other’s needs in this new chapter of life is a must. Even simple gestures can go a long way in maintaining a strong and supportive relationship.

 

This article is sponsored by BetterHelp. Interested in giving therapy a try? Get started with BetterHelp today and save 25% off your first month. Your exclusive discount will be automatically applied at checkout with this special link. After signing up, simply fill out a brief questionnaire to get matched with a licensed therapist in as little as 48 hours. You can then book your first live session via chat, phone, or video!

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The Hot Mess Express Helps New Moms Get Back on Track

by Gabby Cullen

This non-profit is all about moms supporting moms when it’s needed the most

Whether you’re a new mom or you’ve got a few years under your belt, there’s no question that life can be overwhelming. Between work, caring for the kids, cleaning up messes, doing a million loads of laundry, making weeknight dinners, and getting everyone where they need to be on time, finding even five minutes for yourself is considered a total win. So what does that say about moms in general? That. We. Need. Help. Even if we don’t feel like we can (or should) ask for it.

That’s why, when we discovered mom-of-two Jen Hamilton’s TikTok video about how her non-profit, Hot Mess Express, came into existence, all we could do was stand up and cheer. Leave it to a mom to know exactly what to do!

Hamilton tells the story in her now-viral video. “So a couple years ago, there was a post on Facebook in a local moms group. It was written anonymously, and it was by a girl who was a couple months postpartum with her second baby. She was asking for recommendations for a cleaning company to come in and help her clean her house because she was so overwhelmed.

“She said, ‘I don’t even have the money to do this but I can’t keep living like this.’ So people commented and were like, ‘Oh, reach out to this person or this company.’ But I was like, ‘We are missing something big here.’”

@_jen_hamilton_

All aboard! Find our FB group if you’re local! Addresses are only shared with those who have signed up to come.

♬ original sound – Jen Hamilton

Hamilton took it upon herself to gather other local moms who could help, and they showed up in a big way.

“There were like eight or ten of us there. We had taken up a collection and we sent her and her family out for a fun day, and we spent the whole day cleaning, organizing, doing laundry. We went to Walmart and got things that they needed. We made sure that there was food in the house. We made crock-pot meals. We went all out. And that was the first ever Hot Mess Express mission,” explained Hamilton.

Since that first day, the non-profit has taken on a life of its own. It now has a nationwide reach with over 50 chapters, and there’s plenty of room for more. Hamilton no longer sits at the helm of Hot Mess Express, but her friend and fellow member, Girl, Same podcaster Brittnie Tran, was ready to take the lead.

@girlsamethepodcast

I can not believe the amount of women interested in joining HME since @Jen Hamilton’s video! It is so beautiful to see and we are so excited to have you 💕 hotmessexpress.co @brittiniechristine @kay.la.dee @Easy Breezy Runner @tina1325 #volunteer #nonprofit #womensupportingwomen

♬ Better in Stereo – Tori

Brittnie Tran recently explained her vision to Scary Mommy: “I would love to see enough Hot Mess Express chapters that we are accessible to as many women as possible. There are so many women who don’t know our group exists, suffering in silence thinking they are alone. That’s why we work so hard to normalize the struggles of motherhood and normalize asking for help.”

The struggle is, in fact, very real. A recent Pew study found that although women are earning more than ever and that there are more dual-income households than in the past, women in opposite-sex relationships are still contributing more to household duties than their partners. In these ‘egalitarian marriages’—meaning both partners contribute equally to the yearly income—women still spend an average of 4.6 hours a week on the same tasks to which their husbands contribute only 1.9 hours a week.

This is where Hot Mess Express comes in. Their mission states: “Hot Mess Express is a group of moms and caregivers who come together to rescue moms in need by doing the housework that can seem impossible. Whether these moms are dealing with postpartum depression, medical problems, social issues, or life burdens, Hot Mom Express is here to alleviate as much stress as possible by doing dishes, laundry, sweeping, mopping, and organization. Our goal is to leave these ladies with a more peaceful existence and give them a fresh start.”

You can check their official website to see if there’s a chapter near you, and if not, the website provides the tools you need to start your own. There’s also a private Facebook group for the non-profit with over 19K members that provides even more support for members.

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I Never Thought Parenting Differences Would End My Oldest Friendship

by Dria Benson

When you’ve been friends with someone for so long, you never dream that parenting could be the thing that drives you apart. But sometimes, that’s exactly what happens.

Now, I’m not talking about parenting stereotypes, like crunchy mom versus silky mom or free-range mom versus helicopter mom. I’m referring to deeper parenting styles that fundamentally change how your child develops.

My former best friend and I met in kindergarten, meaning we had known each other for more than three decades. She jumped into her parenting journey a bit earlier than I did, and initially, she was quite helpful and supportive. When I was struggling with breastfeeding and my baby blues turned into postpartum depression, she encouraged me to do what was best for me—and that was to stop nursing. She was a mom who exclusively breastfed her kids for years, so this was monumental. Her words instantly removed the overwhelming social pressure and judgment I felt.

But as my kids grew, I began to notice something: our parenting styles were quite different.

My friend and her husband are more old school. Their word is law, and their kids are expected to do as they say. They are loving and supportive parents, and their beautiful children are thriving. But in their home, you won’t see her kids boldly expressing their feelings or having big explosions. Our home, on the other hand, is a little messier—figuratively speaking (at least in this case).

Our home is loud. My kids are intense. They bicker and let it all out. My husband and I do our best—though we sometimes fail—not to try to change or suppress our kids’ emotions. Sure, they’re still learning how to regulate these big feelings (as am I), but I believe that if they’re allowed to simply experience them, it will serve them well in the long run. Ultimately, they’ll know how to express their emotions in healthy ways rather than hide them—something my generation was brought up to do.

In that way, parenting changed me and really challenged me to do things differently. Wanting your children to grow into the best version of themselves often requires reflecting on who you are and want to be. Instead of fear and punishment, I now strive for connection over correction, which isn’t always the easiest.

Unfortunately, this responsive parenting style drove a wedge between the two of us. When I expressed vulnerability about how difficult it is to watch my child work through big emotions, she had zero patience. Instead, she replied, “Well, I would have told her to stop,” or “You let her ruin your day,” or worse, “She’s always been dramatic.”

Slowly, our relationship turned into me always needing to explain my choices. She questioned why I chose a certain school for my kids, why we didn’t reprimand them more, how we dealt with the pandemic; the list went on and on.

I began to realize that I didn’t need to explain myself to anyone, especially not someone who was supposed to be a friend. She saw my decisions as moral judgments—that her way of parenting must be wrong. In reality, it was just me choosing what I felt was best for my family.

After a while, I had to step away. And if one of your friends is criticizing how you parent, gaslighting you, or simply not supporting your choices at all, perhaps it’s time for you to step away, too. It’s just not healthy. You know what’s best for your child—period. No one needs to have an opinion about that. Reconsider whether your relationship is one that fills your bucket or takes from it. In my case, I already knew the answer.

That didn’t make parting ways any easier. I kept clinging to the past; we had so much history, after all. But because things grew toxic, I knew it was time. If we want to teach our children how to set and maintain boundaries, we must learn to create them for ourselves, too.

And at the end of the day, it’s vital to surround yourself with those who love and accept you for you—parenting style and all.

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What If Breastfeeding Gear Was Actually Cool?

by Kate Cartia

It’s about time someone came up with better nursing supplies

If you’ve made the choice to breastfeed, you’ve probably experienced a moment or two (or three. or ten.) of overwhelm. For something hailed as “the most natural thing in the world” <cringe>, it’s easy to assume that nursing is, well…easy. Baby, breast, boom. Right? There’s a good chance it’s actually not that easy for you, and if it’s not, you absolutely aren’t alone. Even if you wouldn’t consider your breastfeeding experience “difficult”, it’s still a lot. And a bunch of the tools out there, while definitely not bad, are outdated, bulky, and just extremely confusing (uh, just look at this spread of supplies). Millennial moms are due for a nursing gear glow-up and Swehl, a modern breastfeeding supplies and support platform, is seriously ticking all the boxes for us (without insisting on 50 different tools).

Typical nursing supplies—Courtesy of Swehl

 

Our Bump & Baby Editor dubbed Swehl “the Glossier of breastfeeding supplies”. Why? Because this is the breastfeeding line that actually makes sense for modern motherhood. Everything they offer is multifunctional, low-impact (just reusable, BPA-free, food-grade silicone!), and just terribly cute, too, so it all fits into your day-to-day.

Swehl

 

Swehl breastfeeding supplies are made for this century. No more alienation, chaos, or confusion. Just streamlined products you’ll actually use.

The Latch Kit

Swehl

You grab-and-go breastfeeding essentials. Everything you need from Day 1, minus the hours (and hours) of research. Made from sustainable materials, aesthetically pleasing (she's cute!), and with tools that last well beyond the newborn phase. No reading required—the Latch Kit includes QR codes that drive to bite-sized video tutorials. 

What's inside:

  • Gold Rush Colostrum Bottle
  • Secret Sauce Syringe 
  • Total Catch Milk Collection Cups
  • Balm de Nips Nipple Balm
  • No Stress SNS Kit
  • Nip Slips Nipple Shield 
  • Calm de Nips Saline Spray
  • The Carry-All

The Latch Kit ($99.99)—Buy Here!

The Nips Duo

Swehl

Calm de Nips and Balm de Nips are a dynamic duo that helps alleviate common nipple pain from cracked and sore nipples. Even on your best breastfeeding day, you'll need these.

What's inside:

  • Calm de Nips
  • Balm de Nips

The Nips Duo ($22.00)—Buy Here!

Cloud 9 Nursing Sling

Swehl

Breastfeeding on the go should be easy, convenient and comfortable. Our sling is inspired by luxury sportswear, so you can nurse out in the world—and feel like you doing so. Includes storage for diapers, your cell phone and more. Bonus: remove the pillow lining and use as a sling bag long after the feeding journey.

Cloud 9 Nursing Sling ($65.00)—Buy Here!

Swehl School

Swehl

It's about time we admitted that breastfeeding can be truly challenging, and it also doesn't work for everyone. And that's okay. No matter what you're experiencing during nursing, Swehl School offers over 2 years of content for mastering breastfeeding. Bite-sized videos and helpful articles for every step of the way. Pumping, latching, postpartum depression, and more. Oh, and you won't find any judgment here. No "breast is best" rhetoric. 

Swehl Circles

Swehl

Hi. It's us. And we're here to tell you that you do not have to do this—nursing, momming, parenting—alone. Swehl Circles is a new way to baby group. They're expert-led, small group Zoom sessions with other cool people. Unrecorded, unfiltered and un-boring, every time.

All the products listed are independently & personally selected by our shopping editors.

If you buy something from the links in this article, we may earn affiliate commission or compensation. Prices and availability reflect the time of publication.

All images courtesy of retailers.

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Netflix Drops First Official ‘Virgin River’ Season 5 Trailer

by Julie Scagell

Here’s your first look at Virgin River Season 5!

Virgin River has amassed millions of fans, all of whom have been not so patiently awaiting its return. Well, it’s our lucky day because Netflix has dropped the first official trailer of season 5. Slated to return to the streaming platform on Sept. 7th, 2023, not only will the first episodes be available in Sept. but in very good news, it was announced there will be a Part 2 dropping on Nov. 3oth, just in time for the holidays. So, get your warm socks and bonfires ready because everyone’s favorite comfort show will be warming everyone up soon.

Even though the trailer covers things we weren’t expecting, according to Netflix, season five will deal with burning questions like who really is the father of Charmaine’s twins (and will she just deliver, already?), what type of terminal illness Denny is dealing with, what’s going on with Brady and Brie, and how will all the trouble for Preacher and Paige get resolved? Executive director and writer Erin Cardillo told Tudum last year, “What you can expect from Season 5 is a lot of answers to the questions you have been waiting for.”

Even more, expect to see some new faces. Executive Producer and writer Richard Keith said in the same interview, “Some new characters are coming to Virgin River this season that will mix things up a bit.”

And, these characters have plenty of time to give us the answers we crave because, in May 2023, Netflix announced that Virgin River has already been renewed for Season 6.

For those who haven’t yet watched the show (what are you waiting for?), Virgin River follows Mel Monroe (Alexandra Breckenridge), a nurse practitioner, midwife, and recent widow who left life in the city after her husband’s death. She starts over in a sleepy little town (circa Sleeping with the Enemy but less murder-y) and joins the hometown practice in Virgin River. She and her boss Doc Mullins form a prickly (but adorable) friendship, and she makes immediate friends, but it’s her steamy romance with Jack (Martin Henderson) that will have you coming back for more.

The series is based on the best-selling romance novels by author Robyn Carr. All the stars are investable, and the scenery and storylines are nothing short of entertaining. The show sucks you in like an old soap opera you’d watch with your grandma when you were sick and home from school.

One thing we love about the series is that, although it feels very Hallmark movie-of-the-week, it doesn’t shy away from big topics like postpartum depression, grief, death, and a fair amount of steamy sex scenes (if we do say so ourselves).

“Jack is very much a man of his word, and very much, very much in love with her,” showrunner Sue Tenney told EW. “Jack and Mel, their love and their commitment to each other, that doesn’t change. How he feels about her does not change. Some circumstances happen around them—and the reactions and how they deal with those things.”

 

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10 Books for Moms Who Want to Feel Seen (& Not Judged)

by Amber Guetebier

Being a new mom can be tough. These books let you know you’re not alone

Navigating life with a newborn is anything but simple. Whether it’s your first or your fourth, the only constant new parents can count on is to expect the unexpected. With all the snarky comments and harsh judgments out there, moms need all the support—and commiseration—we can get. When you get a few minutes, stop doom-scrolling and pick up one of these 10 beautiful books for moms that celebrate the messy truth of motherhood in a way new moms need.

1. Operating Instructions: A Journal of My Son's First Year by Anne Lamott

Writer and essayist Anne Lamott offers new moms inspiration and commiseration in this collection by one of the most talented writers out there. And don’t worry; the short vignettes are not only relatable, they’re easily readable in the few spare moments you have in between diaper changes , feeding, and naps.

Buy it here, $15

2. Unexpected: A Postpartum Memoir by Emily Adler Mosqueda

As a second-time mom, Emily wasn’t anticipating the postpartum depression and anxiety she would experience. Exploring the not-always-joyful emotions of motherhood, including rage, irritability, guilt, and shame, Emily opens up about the impossible standards of motherhood and offers moms the judge-free understanding that sometimes you aren’t okay.

Buy it here, $24

Related: 21 Everyday Victories New Parents Should Celebrate

aint that a mother book cover is a great book for moms

3. Ain’t That a Mother: Postpartum, Palsy, and Everything in Between by Adiba Nelson

Writer and all-around bad*ss Adiba Nelson knows a thing or two about the unexpected journey motherhood brings. As an Afro-Latina, Nelson grew up knowing motherhood was anything but easy. When her daughter is born with cerebral palsy, Adiba begins a fight—a fight for love of her child and of herself. The kind of self-love and courage that created success and changes in her life. It’s a messy, bold, beautifully written story of Adiba’s truth and her quest to live it.

Adiba also wrote a children’s book, Clarabelle Blue Is Just Like You, to offer her daughter visibility in the world and to teach other children the value of loving one another. This new memoir will have you laughing, loving, and celebrating.

Buy it here, $21

4. Enough About the Baby: A Brutally Honest Guide to Surviving the First Year of Motherhood by Becky Vieira

Touted as “an unapologetic guide to the first year of motherhood,” author Becky Viera challenges society to stop undervaluing the new mother and start establishing self-care as a necessity to motherhood. Full of actionable advice about what to expect and how to handle even the most taboo subjects, poop, and postpartum depression among them, this book reminds us that taking care of our own needs is vital to our survival.

Buy it here, $18

5. The Body Is Not an Apology: The Power of Radical Self-Love by Sonya Renee Taylor

Though this book is not explicitly about being a new mom, our relationships with our bodies post-partum can be a mixed bag, full of pressure to get back to “pre-baby weight” and struggling with self-esteem. In this book, activist and poet Sonya Renee Taylor offers us tools for radical self-love and a way out of the shame cycle that perpetuates the oppression of ourselves and others around the world. There’s even a workbook to help you personalize and radicalize your feelings about your own body.

Get it here, $15

6. The Hand That First Held Mine by Maggie O’Farrell

If you’re looking for a relatable novel to read when you can steal a moment, this one will fit the bill. It’s the story of two different mothers—one a single mom in post-war London and the other a young painter named Elina navigates who can’t seem to remember actually giving birth. A gorgeously written novel that touches on so many feelings we have as we stumble into motherhood.

Buy it here, $14

Related: Level Up: Baby Hack to Simplify Life for New Parents

the cover of its been pouring, books for new moms

7. It’s Been Pouring: The Dark Secret of the First Year of Motherhood by Rachel Papo

In this photo book, author and photographer Rachel Papo set out to document the experience of postpartum depression. A collection of photos and interviews of mothers at their darkest moments, it’s also an honest exposition of Papo’s own postpartum depression and allows mothers everywhere to connect and recognize the real struggle of motherhood. Buy it here, $37

8. Knocking Myself Up: A Memoir of My (In)Fertility by Michelle Tea

Award-winning author Michelle Tea gives an honest and totally amazing account of her life entering into motherhood as a 40-year-old, queer, uninsured woman. A story of love and love of family, Tea tells it all in a can’t-put-down memoir. Buy it here, $28

9. Knocked Down: A High-Risk Memoir by Aileen Weintraub

Told with humor and grace, this is a memoir of a high-risk pregnancy when author Aileen Weintraub is prescribed five months of bed rest. What she experiences includes confronting the state of her marriage and her own grief for her father while fighting for the life of her child. For moms that have experienced high-risk pregnancies, there are relatable emotions, and for all moms, the book offers deep insight into what we do to ourselves as women and mothers in our own minds.

But it here, $7

10. Waiting for Birdy: A Year of Frantic Tedium, Neurotic Angst, and the Wild Magic of Growing a Family by Catherine Newman

A hilarious and honest book by popular Baby Center columnist Catherine Newman, this is her account of navigating toddlerhood while preganat and giving birth to her second child. Spoiler alert: it’s really hard! But with humor, wit, and her warm writing style, new moms everywhere will feel 100% seen in her book.

Buy it here, $17

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11 Funny, In-Your-Face Shows Like ‘Workin Moms’

by DeAnna Janes

Now that the series has wrapped, you’re going to need a new roster of shows like Workin’ Moms that celebrate motherhood in all its messiness. So, here you go

All moms are working moms. You’ve heard the maxim before, and if you’re a fan of Netflix’s hit mom-com Workin’ Moms, then you’ve seen it in hilarious action too. Tackling the realities of motherhood—latch refusal, postpartum depression, mommy guilt, social isolation—the comedy series paints a portrait that is honest, fearless, and entirely covered in spilled breastmilk.

Created by Catherine Reitman, who also writes, stars, and occasionally directs, Workin’ Moms hit Canadian screens in 2017 and Netflix’s digital shelves in 2019. Since then, the series has enjoyed seven seasons tagging along with friend group Kate, Anne, Frankie, and Jenny as they juggle the chainsaws that are careers, babies, marriages, and domestic duties.

Last month, the show took its final bow, with Season 7 hitting the streaming platform in its entirety. But that doesn’t mean you have to retire your love for TV moms who not only make you laugh but reinforce that your best is good enough. Ahead is a list that’s fertile ground for filling the Workin’ Moms hole in your watch list.

Catastrophe

Stop us if you’ve heard this one: An Irish woman and an American man meet in London, get pregnant after a one-night stand, and live hilariously ever after. That’s the premise of this Amazon Original show like Workin’ Moms that stars its writers, Rob Delaney and Sharon Horgan. A refreshing take on parenthood, Catastrophe appeals to those with children but also a non-child-rearing audience, thanks to its biting banter and anti-storybook romance.

Stream it on Prime Video

I’m Sorry

Diarrhea of the mouth: a chronic condition characterized by verbal streams of consciousness, moments of foot-in-mouth syndrome, and just plain telling it like it is. Andrea Savage stars in this half-hour comedy show like Workin’ Moms about a happily married comedy writer and mother of a kindergartner who spends her day saying out loud what moms have thought since the beginning of time. She’s relatable, and funny, and often finds herself uttering the two words women say way too often: “I’m sorry.”

Stream it on HBO Max

Good Girls

In what might be the best crime comedy you haven’t seen, a group of suburban moms turn to robbery when their bank accounts hit the red. Mad Men’s Christina Hendricks, The Office’s Retta, and The DUFF’s Mae Whitman light up the screen as they take a hammer to toxic masculinity and warped archetypes. It’s been called a Breaking Bad knockoff for women, but this fun caper deserves a sub-genre all its own.

Stream it on Netflix

The Letdown

Life is just one long string of letdowns. But it’s the beautiful moments and little wins in between that make them livable. Alison Bell’s series, in which she also stars, illustrates just that through a humorous and optimistic lens. She plays Audrey, a new mom who’s entered the fifth dimension which is motherhood, and is trying to make sense out of a life that now requires making sure that a tiny human being makes it through the night alive. (Yeah, it’s quite the 180.)

Stream it on Netflix

Breeders

Martin Freeman and Daisy Haggard star in this British dark comedy show like Workin’ Moms about a married couple who love their kids as much they want to kill them. The first season introduces audiences to Paul and Ally, and their two kids under seven, Ava and Luke. Season 2 picks up about five years later, the effects of their chaotic parenting style manifesting in interesting ways. Season 3 tackles the teen years, and Season 4 is eyeballing a summer release. So sit down, hit play, and hold on.

Stream it on Hulu

Better Things

Motherhood is magical, but raising three daughters in this modern world takes some sleight of hand. Which Sam Fox (Pamela Adlon), the working actress at the center of this empathetic portrait of single-mom-dom, does not have. Flawed but unconditional in her love, she spends each episode keenly aware that the bond between a mother and her daughter is everlasting, and yet could go tits up at any moment.

Stream it on Hulu

Ginny & Georgia

Ginny & Georgia is a show like Workin Moms
Netflix

 

Dysfunction doesn’t begin to describe the dynamic between Georgia Miller, a 30-year-old mother who solves her problems with a pistol, and Ginny, her angsty and awkward 15-year-old daughter. The series begins with the two trying to put down roots in New England, but as drama would have it, Georgia’s secrets threaten to unravel their efforts—and their relationship. Though it sounds dark, the bleak moments are diluted with wisecracks that will make you LOL.

Stream it on Netflix

Single Parents

The joys and struggles of parenting young children get the prime-time sitcom treatment with Single Parents. Featuring a group of—you guessed it—single parents with varying backgrounds who have banded together to form their own unconventional family, the series is a charming take on raising kids and looking for love from New Girl’s Elizabeth Meriwether.

Stream it on Hulu

One Day at a Time

A reimagining of Norman Lear’s 1975 classic, One Day at a Time follows the exploits of a Cuban-American family who treat nothing as off-limits; meaning alcoholism, depression, and the female orgasm are all up for discussion. An intensely adored sitcom, ODAAT is a charmer whose fan base has been screaming into the void over its two cancellations. Luckily, there are 46 episodes to enjoy before you find yourself in the same state of despair.

Stream it on Pluto TV

Motherland

Welcome to the mother lode: cliquey stay-at-home mums, PTA politics, clueless dads; if it gives Mom a headache, you can bet it will be toiled over in Motherland. A British comic gem that takes on middle-class motherhood, this one pivots around the flustered Julia, who’s barely keeping it together, and her antithesis, Amanda, a walking billboard for the idiotic mantra, “Women can have it all.”

Stream it on Sundance Now

Wellmania

Though this Aussie raunch-com starring Instagram satirist Celeste Barber doesn’t necessarily tap into motherhood, it does get messy. Really messy. Not only is there vegan spew, but our resident funny lady also indulges herbs, laxatives, and good old-fashioned fecal purging all in search of better health. She’s on this wellness journey to get a green card, so she can get back to New York City to host a cookery competition show, but has no idea the quest is actually a straight shot to self-discovery.

Stream it on Netflix

Related: 14 Drama-Filled Shows ‘Virgin River’ Fans Will Adore

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My Postpartum Therapist Understood Me like a Friend, but I Needed More Than That

by Jess deCourcy Hinds

When I sought out therapy after a tough pregnancy and traumatic childbirth, Deborah seemed perfect. An LCSW and former nurse who specialized in obstetric mental health, she was a mom herself and a free-spirited creative writer like me. When I asked if I could bring my baby to our sessions, she was the only clinician who agreed—enthusiastically. What could go wrong?

“I’m trying not to be distracted by the baby’s cuteness,” she kept saying during our sessions as I breastfed. Sometimes I thought of Deborah as an aunt or mother figure watching my baby grow. This felt right to me because, at the time, I thought an ideal therapist should be like a friend or mentor. Indeed, Deborah seemed like the kind of woman I wanted to be in 20 years. An artist, a feminist, and hippie, she had a huge smile and infectious laugh. She wore cool red glasses (I had the same pair in electric blue).

Also, she was a neighbor, so I bumped into her regularly at our local Dunkin’ Donuts. When she frequently texted between sessions, asking for updates about my life, she reinforced the unprofessional boundaries that we both fostered. Unfortunately, I didn’t improve in her care. My postpartum depression dragged through my daughter’s first year.

I was reluctant to take medication while breastfeeding, but I urgently needed it. Deborah didn’t tell me about breastfeeding-safe options until I’d suffered for too long. It’s hard to say whether she was hesitant because of her own beliefs or because she thought I didn’t need them. Mental health professionals can misdiagnose just like other doctors. Sometimes practitioners just don’t understand how much pain you’re in.

Deborah was kind but didn’t see me clearly. She often told me I was doing better than I was. I can be very outwardly cheerful and productive when I’m depressed, so it’s easy to fool people. I drafted a whole novel during my baby’s naps. As a writer herself, Deborah thought this was amazing. But she didn’t hear me when I said my worries were getting the better of me. It was time for medication.

I connected with a psychiatrist who connected me to a lactation-safe prescription, and I did enough research to feel confident in my decision. I wish I hadn’t waited so long! The meds were a huge help—and taking care of myself made me a better, healthier mom.

In sharing my story, I do not claim to have the answers for others. I simply want other parents to know that searching for and finding help—the right help—can be a process, and there’s no one-size-fits-all counselor. We know that postpartum depression and anxiety are common; one in eight women experience symptoms within twelve months of a baby’s birth, according to the Center for Disease Control. One in ten fathers also experiences mood changes after the birth of a baby. And those individuals (heck, all of us) deserve support tailored to their personalities, needs, and communication styles.

RELATED: I Survived Postpartum Depression and I Swear You Can, Too

A good postpartum counselor doesn’t have to be your buddy. My current therapist, Samuel, is structured and unsentimental, the opposite of Deborah. My anxiety responds better to someone who helps give me distance from my unproductive thoughts instead of encouraging me to delve into them. Samuel will cut me off if I spiral in circles and get stuck, whereas Deborah would give me pep talks and indulge my worries. Ultimately, it was Samuel—and the medication—that helped me get well. I urge other parents not to give up on their quest to find exactly what they need.

If you’re looking for a counselor, consider Zoom therapy to broaden your range of options. Check out the CDC reproductive health page and sliding scale and affordable therapists. It can take a few tries to get a good match, but don’t give up on therapy if it doesn’t click the first time. Good help is out there.

Jess deCourcy Hinds (jessdecourcyhinds.com) is a writer and librarian. Sign up for her free quarterly newsletter, I’m an Open Book: On Love, Libraries and Life-building.

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Netflix Officially Reveals ‘Workin’ Moms’ Season 7 Release Date

by Karly Wood

Get ready to binge season 7

It seems like only yesterday we were flipping out over the new trailer for season six of Workin’ Moms on Netflix. The show officially wrapped in September, not only for season seven but for the series as well. CBC fans have already been able to see the season—it premiered on CBC in early January. Netflix fans will be thrilled to hear that the network just announced that the seventh and final season will drop on April 26.

In June 2022, creator, executive producer and star Catherine Reitman announced the show was officially coming to an end.

In a press release, Reitman remarked: “To our incredible fans, making this show has been the ride of my life. Philip and I hit the ground, day one of season one, with a three-month-old and a two-year-old, watching as we pressed forward on one mission: to tell the stories of four flawed mothers, who dared to be something beyond their nurseries. Going to work every day, whether in the room with our brilliant writers, on set with our extraordinary cast or in post with the best producing team in the business, has cemented in me the importance of telling stories that have meaning, surrounded by artisans who get it.”

“But like any story, there must be an ending. And so, it is with love and gratitude that I’m announcing season seven as our final season. The biggest thank you to our partners, CBC and Netflix, for getting behind a show that points a flashlight into the darkest corners of motherhood. To those of you who’ve stopped me on the street, to share your love of the show—I see you. I hear you. And I thank you. Go get ’em mamas…”

Workin’ Moms Season 7 Plot

Per the release, season seven “will see the women confront demons from their past in order to move forward into their future… As we bid farewell to Kate, Anne, Sloane, Jenny, and Val, it’s up to each of them to decide the impact they’ll leave with their work, the traits they’ll pass on to their children, and ultimately, how much more sh*t they’re willing to take as workin’ moms.”

If you weren’t already familiar, the hit mom-com, which airs on Canadian network CBC before making its way to Netflix, follows Toronto moms as they navigate motherhood, maternity leave, relationships and being a professional. To get an idea of what you’re in for, you can check out the season six trailer below. (Full disclosure: It’s for mature audiences so make sure there are no little eyes and ears in the room when you click “play!”)

Developed by Black-ish star Reitman and based on her own experiences as a working mom, the show delves right into some of the more hilarious aspects of motherhood: baby yoga, those blasted baby strollers and dealing with the hilarious devastation of spilled breast milk. But that was just the beginning.

As the kids have grown over the last six seasons, so do the moms and their scenarios. For all its hilarity, the show still manages to touch on some serious and all-too-real topics, like postpartum depression, post-baby relationship struggles and the drive to be a successful career woman and a mom—all at the same time. It handles these topics with honesty and grace and makes it totally binge-worthy.

Workin’ Moms Season 7 Cast

Season seven sees the return of Dani Kind as Anne, Jessalyn Wanlim as Jenny, Philip Sternberg as Nathan, Ryan Belleville as Lionel, Sarah McVie as Val, Sadie Munroe as Alice, Peter Keleghan as Richard, Nikki Duval as Rosie and Enuka Okuma as Sloane Mitchell.

Workin’ Moms Season 7 Release Date

CBC’s Workin’ Moms is available in its entirety (seasons 1-6 at least) on Netflix. Season seven premiered on CBC and CBC Gem in January 2023, and its global premiere on Netflix is on April 26th, 2023.

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