14 Mistakes Parents Make While Potty Training

by Melissa HeckscherApril 10, 2024

When it comes to potty training, everybody has a suggestion. Maybe your best friend’s sister’s yoga teacher says you can do it in a single weekend. Maybe your neighbor’s mom says M&Ms are the best motivation (or was it Smarties?). Maybe Instagram tells you to sprinkle-afy those poops (more on that later). Whatever you decide, there’s no one right way to potty train your child—but there are some wrong ways! At least, according to experts. Whether it’s telling your kids “It’s OK!” when they have an accident, letting them play on your phone while they wait for tinkles, or not knowing when to start potty training in the first place, here are the 14 common mistakes parents make.

1. Don’t start too soon—or too late.

The American Academy of Pediatrics (AAP) recommends that parents begin potty training anywhere from 18 months to 3 years old. Starting earlier or later will make your road to Big Kid Underwear much more difficult and frustrating (for both you and your child). AAP Spokesperson Jaime Friedman says it’s best to start when kids show signs of readiness, including stating that they are going pee or poop, asking to be changed, or waking up from nap time dry.

According to internationally recognized potty-training expert Jamie Glowacki, the ideal time is between 20 and 30 months because that’s when kids go through a developmental lull in other areas, allowing potty training to take center stage. Wait too long, she says, and you’ll be facing off against a “threenager.”

“All of a sudden they realize they have free will and choice,” Glowacki says. “They realize they control their pee or poop. Then you have power struggles.”

2. Don’t put your potty chair out so they can “get used to it.”

Lots of parents get a potty chair and put it out in common areas so their kid can “get used to it” around the house. But why? If you’re not actually starting the process of potty training, the little potty becomes just another object.

“It becomes a chair, a basketball net, a place to put things,” Glowacki says. “And then the child doesn’t understand that, ‘Wait, now I’ve got to put poop in that thing?’”

Glowacki says parents may harbor a secret fantasy that the toilet’s mere presence will inspire toddlers to potty train themselves. That maybe it’ll mean they won’t have to start the tedious work of toilet-training their kids.

We’re here to say: Nope.

“I want parents to hope for the miracle but prepare for the worst,” Glowacki says. So bring out the potty chair only when you’re ready to start the process.

3. You don’t need a fancy potty seat.

With millions of parents potty training their toddlers at any given time, it’s not surprising that there are a plethora of products promising to make it easier, from floating targets for boys to aim their pee to potty chairs that play music. But Glowacki says most of these don’t actually help the process. (One exception may be urinal potties with water wheels to motivate little boys. She says those work.)

“Parents just want something that makes it easier for them,” she says. “Everyone is dreading this milestone but they’re like, ‘I’m going to get you this and everything will be fine.”

The only thing you really need is a basic potty seat—and get one for each bathroom, so your kid doesn’t have to make a mad dash when nature calls.

4. Don’t mistake “Three-Day Potty Training” for three days only.

If you’ve spent any time talking about potty training with other moms, chances are you’ve heard of the elusive “Three Day Potty Training” program. “Start Friday! Done Sunday!” says the ad for the ebook, which promises you can potty train in a weekend.

But could it be true? It certainly sounds good, especially for working parents who may need to schedule potty training into their busy calendars. But not so fast, says potty-training consultant Jenny Phelps, founder of Oh Crap! Potty Training with Jenny (and former student of Glowacki’s “Oh Crap!” model).

“If you read the small print, you’ll see it says, ‘And then keep doing it for a month afterward,’” Phelps says.

She explains that three-day programs can jump-start the process, but parents shouldn’t have expectations that their 2-year-olds will be ready to say goodbye to diapers by Monday just because of one weekend of no-pants boot camp. Instead, have realistic expectations, and realize that your three days of intense training need to be followed by weeks of consistent reinforcement. After all, you’re training little people, not coding a computer.

“When parents have this false perception that it should be done in that time, they put pressure on themselves, which builds an intensity around these things,” Phelps says.

5. Don’t get emotional or angry when your kiddo has an accident.

Your kid is just learning this skill. So while you may be mad that they just pooped on the living room carpet, try to remember that this is big stuff they’re learning—and it’s not easy for either of you, so deep breaths. You can do this and so will they. Just try to stay intentionally unemotional when accidents happen.

“The more emotion that is loaded into the process, the harder it’s going to be for the child,” Phelps says. Instead, try to be matter-of-fact while telling them what happened and what they need to do next time. You can say, Hey, it looks like you waited too long and it looks like your pee pee came out. Maybe next time you can get to the potty sooner.

6. Similarly, don’t say “It’s OK” when your child has an accident.

You’re trying to teach your child that it’s NOT OK to pee on the couch, so don’t tell them it’s all good when they do exactly that. Of course, you don’t want to get mad at them either. Rather, when accidents happen, just stay calm and carry on. Say something like, I know you’re still learning, but pee goes in the potty. Or, It looks like you went pee pee. Why don’t you help me clean this up.

The more specific the language the better, Phelps says.

7. Don’t let your kids wear diapers or pull-ups while potty training.

Think about the last diaper commercial you saw. What’s the one feature it was selling, first and foremost?

Absorbancy! Moisture-wicking! Stay dry!

In other words, those diapers are supposed to make your baby or toddler feel like their pee didn’t even happen. The problem is, this makes it really easy to just, you know, let it happen. On the other hand, when kids feel wet underwear on their skin or see the pee puddle on the floor, their brain can make the connection (as well as the motivation) faster, Phelps says.

So ditch the diapers and pull-ups, she says, at least in the daytime. Of course, if you don’t mind a longer process, pull-ups can work for some kids. “One of the reasons we don’t advocate for that approach is because—especially if you’re a busy, working family where everyone is going all different directions— usually what happens is that [using pull-ups] turns into not potty training.”

And, she adds, using pull-ups makes it easy for kids to backslide. Parents, too.

“You get to the front at Costco and the child really has to pee and you’re like, ‘I’m busy. Use your diaper.’ It turns into perpetually not making progress.”

8. Don’t just plop your tot on the potty at regular intervals all day long.

You may think: They’ll eventually use the potty if I keep sitting them on top of it, right? Wrong. “If your child doesn’t actually need to pee, then sitting on the potty every 20 minutes will get old really fast,” Phelps says. It will also breed resistance, which will lead to power struggles. And that’s the number-one derailer of potty training.

“You can’t potty train effectively if you have power struggles around the potty,” she says.

What you really want to do is help kids learn their own bodys’ signals. Some hints that your toddler might have go include: crossing their legs, fidgeting, hiding, wiggling, squatting, or getting a “deer in headlights look.”

Phelps says that’s when you want to swoop in and say something like, You’re wiggling your body and it looks like you have to pee. Let’s go to the potty.

9. Don’t ask your child if they need to go potty.

Ask any toddler if he has to go potty and you’re most likely going to get a big fat NO, even if said toddler’s bladder is as full as a water balloon. So don’t ask.

Instead, offer prompts. When you see that your child has to go, say simply: Hey, it’s time to go potty. Or, ask the child how they’re going to use the potty (not if they have to go). You can say, Which book would you like to read on the potty?

10. Don’t bribe kids (but rewards once a child has learned the skill can be OK).

There’s a difference between bribing a kid to use the potty and giving a kid a reward once she knows how to do it all by herself. In general, Phelps says it’s not a good idea to offer candy or prizes for using the potty. “The child needs to learn, and rewards are about motivation,” she said. “Motivation isn’t usually the issue for a kid.”

Once a child starts to understand how to use the potty, offering small rewards is OK, she says. But it doesn’t work for all kids.

“A lot of times, if the reward doesn’t work, parents start upping the reward,” Phelps says. “I have seen it get to the point of promising trips to Disneyland.”

Note: Children with autism or other neurodiversity may actually do well with motivational factors like the promise of a small prize after going potty. Just keep these rewards “appropriate.” (one or two M&Ms or a sticker on a reward chart).

11. Don’t sit your child in front of the TV (or your phone) to go potty.

If TV time is already part of your child’s routine, working the potty into this time is OK. But if you’re using it as a way to motivate your kid to sit on the potty, that’s a no-no.

“It has the potential to turn into a huge power struggle,” Phelps says. “And it usually becomes a reward for not doing the thing you want the child to do.”

So while it’s totally cute to see your little plopped, bare-bummed on the potty watching a football game with Dad, their thoughts are probably way more focused on what’s on TV than their own bodies.

12. Don’t move potty training along too fast.

Once your child has gotten the idea behind “pee and poop in the potty,” don’t be too quick to move forward. Sure, your kid might be able to get to the potty in your living room when you let him run around naked all weekend, but that doesn’t mean you’re ready for a diaper-free day at Disneyland just yet!

Instead, try clothes on in the house first, then quick trips out of the house—an hour or so—during which you watch your child for signs that they have to go. Prompt them to use the potty, prep the car seat for possible accidents, and always have spare clothes.

“Just because the child can pee in the potty with their pants off on a regular basis doesn’t mean they’re potty trained,” Phelps says. “They still need help.”

13. Don’t talk about poop like it’s gross.

Every time you make a “Yuck!” face or hold your nose during a diaper change, your child gets the message that poop is gross. So when it comes time to poop in the potty, they might not want to do it at all.

Phelps has seen it happen. “We really see kids who don’t understand that they have to poop,” she says. “They literally try to never poop.”

So keep those jokes to yourself. At least until your child is 6 or 7. Then, poop will be hilarious.

14. Don’t stress too much.

There’s a reason Glowacki’s book, Oh Crap! Potty Training: Everything Modern Parents Need to Know to Do It Once and Do It Right has been translated into 17 languages and sold almost a million copies. Potty training is hard—and we parents need all the help we can get! But try to filter through the smorgasbord of information and don’t overthink it.

“What I’ve seen is that potty training has consistently gotten harder and harder every year,” Glowacki says. “I’m convinced it’s because there’s too much information.”

Social media doesn’t help. Weary parents searching “Potty Training” on Instagram will be inundated with quick how-tos and magical “potty-training hacks” that may or may not work (notable exception is this innovative Mom who advises parents to let their littles sprinkle ACTUAL SUGAR SPRINKLES ON THEIR POOPS before flushing the toilet. Does it work? Maybe. Is it Insta-gold? Heck, yes.).

The bottom line, says Glowacki, is that parents need to go all in once they decide to pull the potty-training plug.“We’re giving far too much credence to, ‘How does the child feel,’ and ‘Are they ready,’” she says. “Just take the diaper off!”

Potty training is a wild ride, but be sure to capture all their most triumphant and laugh-out-loud moments—and share them with your family and friends near and far—with the Tinybeans app. The secure platform puts parents in total control of who sees and interacts with photos and videos of their kids.

Your Parenting Style, Based on Your Astrological Sign

by Maressa BrownMarch 28, 2024

We all have an idea of what we’ll be like as parents, whether it’s influenced by a favorite social media expert or that trendy book on Scandinavian parenting. But you never really know what your parenting style will be until you welcome your first child—and so many factors can influence whether you stick to your plan or it all flies out the window. Seeing the world through your little’s point of view can inspire you to explore your own, and one fun way to do that is by diving into your unique natal astrology. While it’s just one piece of the complex puzzle that is your birth chart, your sun sign—the zodiac sign that the sun was moving through when you were born—can tell you a lot about your priorities, values, self-image, and confidence.

As an astrologer and the author of Raising Baby by the Stars: A New Parent’s Guide to Astrology, I’m passionate about teaching parents how to use astrology to learn even more about themselves. After all, getting to know yourself better can help boost your confidence as a mom or dad, and who doesn’t want a little more of that? So let’s dive in and look at each sun sign to explain how it colors your parenting style.

Aries (March 21-April 20)

An illustration for Aries for an explanation of your zodiac signs personality and how it affects your parenting style

This fire sign is ruled by Mars, the planet of action and energy, so Aries are passionate, competitive, athletic parents who would ideally prefer to move through life at lightning speed. Keen to be seen as a trendsetter, you’re usually one of the first in your friend group to try the latest baby gear. And as the first sign of the zodiac, your youthful spirit also makes you a kid at heart. You find it easy to strike a playful note with your little one, diving headfirst into all kinds of games—ideally, ones where you can get moving, like relay races or Simon Says—or sending them into a fit of laughter with slapstick comedy. And should your child scribble on the wall with a marker or throw a toy at their sibling, you’ll swiftly let them know that you’re majorly aggravated. But you have zero interest in dwelling on problems that arise, so you’ll work with your kiddo on a solution and move on to the next thing ASAP.

Parents you’ll click with: Fellow fire signs Leo and Sagittarius share your adventurous, go-getter vibe, while air signs like Gemini and Aquarius can keep up with your zippy pace.

Parents you may butt heads with: Your direct, no-nonsense, speedy nature could clash with more emotionally sensitive Cancers, balance-seeking Libras, and slow, steady Capricorns. Whether you’re planning play dates with these parents or figuring out a carpooling schedule, you’ll do well to slow down a bit and remember that you’re more effective when you work as a team.

Taurus (April 21-May 20)

An illustration for Taurus for an explanation of your zodiac signs personality and how it affects your parenting style

Born under Taurus, the fixed earth sign, you’re known for being loyal, dependable, and grounded. You move through life at an unhurried but steady pace and excel at working towards goals one pragmatic step at a time—whether you’re planning a family vacation or potty training. You enjoy being in nature and soaking up the world around you and your kiddo in a mindful way, using sight, smell, touch, taste, and sound to hear the birds and feel the breeze at your family’s favorite picnic spot or playground. And because Taurus is ruled by Venus, the planet of art, beauty, and relationships, you’re a people person who can easily befriend other parents in your child’s class and a dedicated friend who makes it a priority to keep in touch with your nearest and dearest for decades. As one of the fixed signs, you’re resolute and will see any parenting challenge through. But you can also be stubborn. Once you’ve honed in on a game plan for working with your kid on a milestone, it might be challenging for you to switch things up. That said, at times, making an effort to nurture your adaptability can make for smoother sailing, especially with your partner.

Parents you’ll click with: Fellow earth signs Virgo and Capricorn are pragmatic and enjoy making actionable, rational plans just like you, so together you’ll feel seen and productive. Meanwhile, water signs Cancer and Pisces share your appreciation for fostering heartfelt or creative moments with your kids.

Parents you may butt heads with: Anyone with their sun in the other fixed signs—spotlight-loving Leo, emotionally intense Scorpio, and group-oriented Aquarius—might be as hardheaded as you, which can set the stage for friction. But when you connect and collaborate with these parents, everyone can learn to be a bit more flexible and open-minded.

Gemini (May 21-June 21)

An illustration for Gemini for an explanation of your zodiac signs personality and how it affects your parenting style

Since this air sign is ruled by Mercury, the planet of communication, Geminis are curious information gatherers. You revel in learning and sharing what you’ve learned with others, including your kiddo, with whom you’re bound to have super-animated conversations from the time they’re tiny. You’re also an adept listener, so as they grow up, you’re eager for them to fill you in on everything going on in their world. Storytelling and reading books with your child—perhaps about travel, given that Mercury rules transportation as well—has likely always been a beloved pastime. And because you thrive on lively interaction, you love making parenting a social experience, whether it’s signing up for group baby classes, FaceTiming with grandparents, hosting regular backyard BBQs, or taking a leadership role for your tween’s soccer team. As one of the mutable signs, you find it easy to switch gears, ditching an activity that just isn’t going anywhere for one that gets your kid all fired up. At the same time, you can struggle with indecisiveness and may be better off focusing your excitable energy on one task at a time.

Parents you’ll click with: You’ll find fast friends in fellow air signs Libra and Aquarius, who are equally sociable and cerebral, while fire signs Leo and Aries share your joie de vivre and action-oriented style.

Parents you may butt heads with: Fellow mutable signs Virgo, Sagittarius, and Pisces are just as adaptable as you but tend to have priorities that feel quite different from your own—Virgo is very invested in details, Sag cares about the big picture, and Pisces is deeply emotional. For that reason, you could struggle to connect, but tap into your endless curiosity, and you may find that seeing the world through their eyes proves enlightening.

Cancer (June 22-July 22)

An illustration for Cancer for an explanation of your zodiac signs personality and how it affects your parenting style

If you were born under the water sign Cancer—ruled by the moon, which oversees emotions, intuition, and how a person nurtures and wants to be nurtured—you’re a natural-born caregiver. A sentimental and loving homebody, you crave a solid sense of security with your child and other family members. Cozy activities like baking, tending to pets, reveling in family traditions, or just plain snuggling up together tend to boost your well-being. Your friends can rely on you to be a compassionate listener with stellar advice on navigating parenthood, especially the emotional side of it. And working through tough issues with your child is definitely your forte. In fact, given your intuitiveness, you’re often capable of getting an accurate read on their experience and holding space for them to move through big feelings. That said, when you have sensitive moments, you might want to withdraw into your shell, pulling back from caring for others to look after your own emotional well-being. Being by or in the water can be especially therapeutic for you, given your element. As one of the cardinal signs, you’re a go-getter who naturally takes the initiative when something needs to get done, whether that’s working on the family budget or refreshing your kiddo’s wardrobe for a new season.

Parents you’ll click with: You’ll find you have lots in common with fellow family-oriented, empathic, emotionally intelligent water signs Scorpio and Pisces. And earth signs Taurus and Virgo share your passion for mindfulness and nurturing others.

Parents you may butt heads with: Fellow cardinal signs like airy Libra, lightning-paced Aries, and ambitious Capricorn are go-getters like you but tend to go about their initiative-taking in ways that aren’t nearly as emotionally charged as yours. However, by being open to a different approach and joining forces, you can accomplish a lot.

Leo (July 22-August 22)

An illustration for Leo for an explanation of your zodiac signs personality and how it affects your parenting style

Born under the fire sign Leo and ruled by the sun, which orients your self-image, you’re a parent who’s charismatic, confident, fun-loving, and driven. Whenever you’re faced with any challenge, whether it’s helping your kiddo process big emotions or setting important boundaries, you generally tap into your seemingly endless reserve of optimism and fierce motivation. At the same time, since Leo is associated with the Fifth House of Romance and Self-Expression, you find it easy to be playful, creative, spontaneous, and even theatrical at times. Because you revel in the spotlight and leadership positions, you’re often the entertainer of your parent-friend group and the one taking the reins on major PTA projects. With the sun’s influence, you’re passionate about encouraging your little one to proudly embrace who they are and feel empowered to share their opinions and feelings. You take great pride in holding space for your child to explore their identity and grow into the unique person they’re meant to be. As one of the fixed signs, you can get attached to certain ideas and routines, whether it’s your child signing up for certain extracurriculars or the family hitting a go-to summer vacation destination each year.

Parents you’ll click with: Fellow fire signs, Aries and Sagittarius, excite you with a take-charge, zippy, passionate approach that is much like your own. And air signs Gemini and Libra are as interested in being on the go and connecting with others as you are.

Parents you may butt heads with: Parents with their sun or other placements in the other fixed signs—slow-and-steady Taurus, intense Scorpio, and community-minded Aquarius—are all apt to dig their heels in like you, which means you could find yourselves at an impasse due to a lack of flexibility. Doing your best to be open to compromise is key.

Virgo (August 23-September 22)

An illustration for Virgo for an explanation of your zodiac signs personality and how it affects your parenting style

Earth sign Virgo is ruled by Mercury, the planet of communication and information gathering, so you’re a research-savvy, thoughtful, detail-oriented parent with a penchant for planning (you’ve got the lists to prove it!) and taking pragmatic steps to hit your goals. You’re excited by diving into all the studies and articles you can find on a given parenting subject, from the best double stroller to ways to prevent summer slide. And for that reason, your friends and loved ones often lean on you for your advice. Associated with the Sixth House of Wellness and Daily Routine, you’re analytical and health conscious, confidently prioritizing everyday details—like making colorful, healthy meals for your kiddo and working with them to keep their space tidy—to help improve your family’s overall well-being. You also show you care through simple, thoughtful actions, like putting a sweet note in your child’s lunch. And given your Mercurial influence, you’re a bookworm at heart and likely have been since you were little, so you aim to share your love of language with your child through bedtime reading sessions or even making up your own stories together. As one of the mutable signs, you can be indecisive and worrisome but often navigate challenges by tapping into your innate adaptability.

Parents you’ll click with: Fellow earth signs Taurus and Capricorn are on the same page when it comes to being practical, goal-oriented, and, well, down to earth. You’ll also see eye-to-eye with thoughtful, nurturing Cancers, and analytical Scorpios.

Parents you may butt heads with: Parents with their sun or other placements in the other mutable signs—buzzy Gemini, philosophical Sagittarius, and spiritual Pisces—are as flexible as you but might also have priorities that are counter to your own. Giving yourself permission to focus on the forest instead of the trees could boost mutual understanding.

Libra (September 23-October 22)

An illustration for Libra for an explanation of your zodiac signs personality and how it affects your parenting style

Libra is an air sign ruled by Venus, the planet of art and relationships, which makes you an incredibly social parent who deeply values balance and beauty. You will go to great lengths to keep the peace and avoid conflict with your child and other loved ones. So, if your kid is having a complete meltdown, you’re generally a pro at keeping your cool and speaking in a calming, hushed tone (to a point, of course). You’re also quite conscious of how your child’s space contributes to their emotional well-being, so you put a lot of thought into the color of their nursery or the art hanging in your tween’s room. And because Libra is associated with the Seventh House of Partnership, you’re naturally inclined to connect with your kiddo, your partner, or your bestie one-on-one. You love any opportunity to join forces with another person and work towards hitting a goal together. In fact, as one of the cardinal signs, you’re more of a go-getter than you might initially let on. You’re particularly driven to bring people together, hosting super-memorable birthday parties or neighborhood gatherings. And your parent friends can count on you to plan a playdate for the kids that’s enriching and fun, whether it’s a fun painting project or a trip to that pretty new cafe in town.

Parents you’ll click with: Other air signs, Gemini and Aquarius, are equally social and cerebral, so you’re practically guaranteed some lively conversation. And with their eagerness to connect with other parents and engage with the world around them, you’ll also find fire signs Leo and Sagittarius enlivening.

Parents you may butt heads with: You can appreciate the initiative taken by other cardinal signs—direct and sometimes brash Aries, sensitive Cancer, and industrious Capricorn—but you’re not quite sure you’re on the same wavelength. That said, you could also be impressed by their unique motivations.

Scorpio (October 23-November 21)

An illustration for Scorpio for an explanation of your zodiac signs personality and how it affects your parenting style

You’re driven, private, shrewd, family-oriented, and capable of swimming in the deep end of your emotions as a parent, having been born under the fixed water sign Scorpio, which is co-ruled by action-oriented Mars and transformative Pluto. Given that Scorpio is associated with the Eighth House of Emotional Bonds, you’re capable of setting the stage for meaningful bonding time with your little one as a result of your emotional intelligence, ability to feel viscerally and deeply, and desire to connect with those you cherish on a heartfelt level. As one of the fixed signs, you’re dedicated to loved ones, which means you always have a group of parent friends who you’ll lean on for advice and who lean right back on you. You’re also steadfast and resolute, the flip side of this quality being that you might find it tough to divert from a set game plan or tradition. If you had your mind set on your child playing a certain instrument or the whole family celebrating the winter holidays in a particular way and shake-ups occur, you could end up really frustrated. Finding ways to go with the flow can boost your inner peace.

Parents you’ll click with: Cancer and Pisces, the other two water signs, are equally intuitive and in tune with their emotions, so you’ll easily hit it off with them. Earth signs Virgo and Capricorn are similarly astute and motivated to move toward a successful endgame.

Parents you may butt heads with: While you respect how other fixed signs—slow-and-steady Taurus, fiery Leo, quirky Aquarius—are as apt as you to dig their heels in, being equally obstinate can make for gridlock. If you can make room for each of your unique styles, you’ll be quite a productive pair.

Sagittarius (November 22-December 21)

An illustration for Sagittarius for an explanation of your zodiac signs personality and how it affects your parenting style

Born under the mutable fire sign Sagittarius, ruled by Jupiter, the planet of abundance and fortune, you’re a gregarious, free-spirited, glass-half-full, adventurous, and fun-loving parent. You deeply value soaking up knowledge as well as broadening your horizons by moving beyond the mundane and comfortable. This means you’ll often be the first parent to bring your little one along with you on vacation—even long-distance trips—or to sign your child up to learn a different language. Globe-trotting is something you absolutely daydream about and prioritize, so you enjoy trying a wide variety of world cuisines with your kiddo and taking advantage of any opportunity to learn about other cultures. You’re a straight shooter who tells it like it is, which can be helpful in setting expectations for your kid. The only thing is, if you have a sensitive child, you may do well to opt for a softer tone. As a mutable sign, you’re endlessly adaptable and up for going with the flow, but might also benefit from experimenting with sticking to a set game plan and holding definitive boundaries.

Parents you’ll click with: Fellow fire signs Aries and Leo share your excitability and passion for life, so you’re sure to have a blast together. You’ll also connect with Libra and Aquarius parents who are always down for some lively socializing.

Parents you may butt heads with: The other mutable signs—lighthearted Gemini, service-oriented Virgo, and deeply empathic Pisces—are flexible like you but might confuse you with their different focuses. If you trade notes, though, you could find you have more in common than you realized.

Capricorn (December 22-January 21)

An illustration for Capricorn for an explanation of your zodiac signs personality and how it affects your parenting style

Traditional, pragmatic, driven to succeed, and eager to put your nose to the grindstone to achieve whatever you set your mind to, you were born under the earth sign Capricorn. Accordingly, it’ll come as no surprise that Caps are ruled by Saturn, the planet of hard work, commitment, and boundaries. As a cardinal sign, you excel at taking the initiative, whether that’s signing up to coach your kid’s softball team or managing ticket sales for the school play. And since you’re associated with the Tenth House of Career and Public Image, you appreciate being recognized by your peers for your persistent efforts. This trait also means you’re especially capable of modeling diligence and work ethic for your littles. And given your Saturnian influence, setting and holding boundaries is also a strength. Your child will feel particularly secure and safe because of the rules you set and stick to. Since you respect and admire your elders, teaching your little ones about their roots and family history is important to you—and can greatly benefit their eventual self-exploration.

Parents you’ll click with: Fellow earth signs Virgo and Taurus are similarly dedicated to rational thought and tackling any parenting issue with a practical, step-by-step plan. And you’ll find that water-sign Scorpios and Pisces inspire you to get in touch with and tap your emotional and spiritual side to turn your aspirations into reality.

Parents you may butt heads with: Fellow cardinal signs—fast-paced Aries, sentimental Cancer, and social Libra—might also love to hit the gas on new undertakings, but their strategies differ a great deal from yours. That said, by working together and leaning on one another’s strengths, you’ll go far.

Aquarius (January 22-February 18)

An illustration for Aquarius for an explanation of your zodiac signs personality and how it affects your parenting style

Quirky, humanitarian, forward-thinking, and science-minded, you were born under the fixed air sign Aquarius, co-ruled by Uranus, the planet of rebellion, revolution, and sudden change, and Saturn, the taskmaster planet. You’re incredibly proud to be individualistic. But as airy and progressive as you may be, your fixed quality can pop up in the form of black-and-white thinking that can leave you feeling a bit stuck. Leaning on others could be the solution to moving through that feeling, given that Aquarius is the sign associated with the Eleventh House of Groups. You value team efforts, community, and connecting with a diverse group of parent friends, so it’s very important to you that you find your village. And when you’re not leaning on others and working as part of a group (think: organizing a nanny share for you and your neighbors), you’re leaning into your tech savvy to solve problems using the latest apps. This may also mean that you prioritize trips to science museums, STEM activities, and reading with your kiddo about famous scientists like Katherine Johnson and Albert Einstein. And because community is so important to you, you’ll also want to empower your child to use their unique voice to make a difference, bringing them along with you when you dive into volunteer and charity work.

Parents you’ll click with: Fellow air signs Gemini and Libra get your intellectual, people-oriented style, so you’re at least apt to strike up some stimulating conversation. And you’ll also find harmony with on-the-go Aries and jubilant, free-spirited Sagittarius.

Parents you may butt heads with: While you appreciate that other parents with fixed signs—comfort-craving Taurus, self-focused Leo, and intimacy-seeking Scorpio—are as resolute as you are, you might feel like they’re just not on your wavelength. Still, working to be more flexible can set everyone up for a win.

Pisces (February 19-March 20)

An illustration for Pisces for an explanation of your zodiac signs personality and how it affects your parenting style

Intuitive, sensitive, perceptive, and a bit psychic, you were born under the mutable water sign Pisces, which is ruled by Neptune, the planet of spirituality, and Jupiter, the planet of luck and abundance. You’re innately artistic and can easily channel your deeply felt emotions into a creative project, whether that’s painting, dancing, singing, or playing an instrument, and this is a skill you’ll be excited to model for your child. One of the mutable signs, you’re able to float from one activity to the next with your little one, but you might struggle to pin down a set routine or schedule that could benefit you all. Your Neptunian influence and Pisces’ association with the Twelfth House of Spirituality also makes you something of a dreamer at heart, so any opportunity for escapism with your little one—like watching a fantasy movie or reading a book bursting with whimsical, magical themes—brings you a great deal of joy. You’re also highly adept at picking up on your child’s emotions, doing your best to offer a helpful solution when they’re struggling. You’ll do well not to overidentify with stress that isn’t your own, as you could easily lose yourself in that experience. Offering yourself the same kind of tender loving care you unconditionally give others is a must.

Parents you’ll click with: Fellow water signs Cancer and Scorpio are in tune with their deepest-rooted emotions, which makes you feel truly understood when you’re spending time together. Earth signs Taurus and Capricorn might be more pragmatic than you but inspire you to make your dreams a reality.

Parents you may butt heads with: You and other mutable signs—social Gemini, analytical Virgo, and philosophical Sagittarius—might share the ability to change course at a moment’s notice, but you feel like you have different priorities. Still, you’re all very open-minded, which means that as long as you’re willing to listen, you can learn a lot from one another.

11 Things Parents Don’t Need to Stress About (According to Doctors)

by Melissa HeckscherMarch 25, 2024

Kids can bring us so much joy. But you know what else they bring? So. many. worries. Are they sick? Are they getting enough sleep? Is it okay that all they eat is dinner rolls and noodles? But—and this is easier said than done—we’re here to encourage you to try to relax, parents. Whether you’re freaking out about a fever or stressed about sleep schedules and nap times, experts say much of parents’ anxieties are unfounded. But don’t just take our word for it— see what physicians we reached out to had to say about the most common parent concerns, including when you should and shouldn’t worry.

1. The Worry: Your Child Has a High Fever

It’s easy to get nervous when your child’s temperature sizzles into the 100's, but parents should remember that a fever is just the body’s defense mechanism, and not usually on its own a cause for concern.

“A lot of parents have fever phobia,” said American Academy of Pediatrics spokesperson Christina Johns, a Baltimore pediatrician. “But for an otherwise healthy, fully immunized child older than 3 months old, the actual number becomes less of a concern.” Instead of just looking at the number, Johns said, parents should focus more on how their child is acting. “Are they hydrating well, are they breathing comfortably, what’s their mental status like? Are they still playful, or are they just lying around like they’re uncomfortable—those are the things to focus more on than the actual numbers.”

That said, she advises parents of children under 6 months old to call a doctor—just to be safe—if their child’s fever goes above 100.4.

2. The Worry: Your Child Isn’t Hitting Milestones

Sure, the books might say your baby should be able to roll over by six months and walk by one. But some don’t—and that’s okay. All those “milestone” numbers are meant to be a reference, not a deadline. “Don’t make yourself crazy,” Johns said. “Don’t immediately assume the child is delayed if they don’t hit their milestones.”

Of course, with parents posting their child’s every babble, scoot, and toddle on social media, it’s hard not to worry that your kid’s not keeping up. In fact, a recent survey of 2,000 parents of children under three showed that 59 percent of them worried their babies weren’t meeting certain milestones, like saying “mama” or “dada” by their first birthday. But the truth is, there’s a wide range when it comes to when your child will achieve each developmental hurdle. And the exact dates don’t matter as much as the whole picture. That means, if your baby is developing normally in every other way, but doesn’t seem interested in crawling, don’t jump to conclusions.

“My oldest son ate three things and my daughter never crawled; she scooted on her bum,” Johns said. “I knew the data, but I still had a lot of anxiety.”

3. The Worry: Your Child Doesn’t Eat... [Insert Any and All Foods Here]

Got a kiddo who won’t eat anything green? Does your toddler prefer to graze all day rather than eat an actual meal? Does your kid only want carbs? You’re not alone. According to a poll conducted on behalf of C.S. Mott Children’s Hospital, more than half of all parents surveyed said it was hard to get their children to eat a balanced diet. Thirty-five percent called their child a “picky eater,” with 31 percent saying their kids aren’t getting enough fruits and vegetables.

“The old saying is, you can’t make them eat and you can’t make them sleep,” Johns said. “Don’t get into a control battle about that.” Instead, she urges parents to look at the whole picture: if your child is otherwise healthy and following the growth curve, they're likely getting all the nutrients they need.

4. The Worry: It Seems Like Your Child Is Always Sick

If you feel like your preschooler is always sick—you’re probably right. According to experts, toddlers and preschool-aged children get sick as many as 8-12 times per year. Blame their immature immune systems, which have to rack up enough germs to build a proper defense system (They do this by going to daycare or preschool, where they’re bombarded with bacteria and viruses.)

Frequent illnesses don’t usually indicate a problem, as long as your child isn’t getting severely sick, and as long as your kiddo seems to recover after each sickness (even if it’s just for a few days before diving into the next malady). That said, talk to your pediatrician if your child is:

getting sick more than 12 times per year
losing weight and/or not growing normally
getting sicknesses that don’t seem to go away or that need hospitalizations and/or multiple rounds of antibiotics

5. The Worry: Your Child Won’t Nap

If lulling little angels into slumber wasn’t such a struggle, books like Go the F**k to Sleep wouldn’t be international bestsellers. You can laugh about it, but it doesn’t make the battle any easier. Here’s the truth: Experts recommend that toddlers and preschoolers get, respectively, 11-14 and 10-13 cumulative hours of sleep per day (nap plus nighttime)—but some kids may get less (or more) and be perfectly healthy. “Kids do color outside the lines in terms of following the guidelines,” Johns said. “If your days are OK and you don’t have a child who is melting down constantly—who is happy playful, growing and healthy—then I am less concerned,”

Additionally, kids who sleep well at night may not need naps during the day, especially after age 2. In fact, it should come as no surprise that an Australian meta-study into children’s naptimes found that kids who napped after age 2 tended to sleep less at nighttime. “I encourage parents to know in general what the recommendations are for amounts of sleep for kids at different ages, but then really be cognizant of the other clues from each of their children that may tell them what approach is best,” Dr. Judith Owens, director of the Center for Pediatric Sleep Disorders at Boston Children’s Hospital said in an article.

6. The Worry: Your Child’s Bedtime Is Too Late

Some kids are just night owls—and that isn't always a problem. In general, doctors say that if your kid is acting like they have enough energy during the day (not falling asleep on every car ride or in the middle of dinner), they're likely getting the sleep they need. “We need to change our narrative around sleep,” Bryana Kappadakunnel, a marriage and family therapist and founder of Consciousmommy.com, said in an e-mail. “In our American culture, we are largely control-oriented, and so we tend to be overly anxious about getting our children on a sleep schedule.”

Kappadakunnel said that while it’s important to make sure your child gets enough sleep, parents shouldn’t stress if they have a child who just isn’t sleepy at 7 or 8 p.m.—as long as that child doesn’t seem tired and has enough energy during the day. “If you notice your child is struggling behaviorally or emotionally, start with adjusting your approach to sleep, and see if that helps support them,” she said. “But please remember: 'If it ain't broke, don't fix it.' If what you're doing is working for your family, continue it, no matter what the next 'sleep expert' may tell you.”

Good to Know: If your little night owl seems cranky and tired during the day, or if you suspect that she’s not getting enough sleep despite all your best efforts, talk to your doctor about possible medical or neurological reasons for the sleep resistance. Up to 80 percent of kids with autism and about half of kids with ADD, for instance, have trouble falling asleep.

7. The Worry: Your Child Bumped Her Head

Another day, another boo-boo. It’s only natural that when you mix wobbly balance and never-ending energy, you’ll get a little person who will likely bump into, fall over, or collide with at least one thing every day. But how worried should you be when it comes to a bump on the noggin? “We do have very good data that toddlers especially will have lots of goose eggs on their foreheads,” Johns said. “If they’re minor slips and bumps, those are not something that cause brain damage, for example. The regular bumps of daily life are not something to be concerned about long-term.”

According to the American Academy of Pediatrics, if your child hasn’t lost consciousness or vomited—and if she is alert and responding to you— chances are that the head injury is mild. “Your child may cry from pain or fright, but this should last no longer than 10 minutes,” according to the AAP.

Parents should apply a cold compress for about 20 minutes to alleviate swelling, then watch the child for any of the following signs, which could indicate something more serious:

A constant headache, particularly one that gets worse
Slurred speech or confusion
Dizziness that does not go away or happens repeatedly
Extreme irritability or other abnormal behavior
Vomiting more than 2 or 3 times
stumbling or difficulty walking
oozing blood or watery fluid from the nose or ears
difficulty waking up or excessive sleepiness
unequal size of the pupils (the dark center part of the eyes)
double vision or blurry vision
unusual paleness that lasts for more than an hour
convulsions (seizures)
difficulty recognizing familiar people
weakness of arms or legs
persistent ringing in the ears

8. The Worry: Your Child Isn’t Potty Trained Yet

It’s true there are preschools that require kids to be potty-trained to be admitted, but the truth is that most kids aren’t fully potty-trained until about 4, so all that effort Moms and Dads into getting their 2-year-old to use the toilet may not pay off, according to Johns. “I see parents get so frustrated, but I just tell them, it’s OK, your child isn’t ready,” she said. “I tell them, ‘Don’t worry, your children aren’t going to go to college in a diaper.’”

That said, most kids show some signs of readiness between 18-24 months, while others aren’t ready until at least 3. According to the Mayo Clinic, some signs your child may be ready to trade in her diapers for big kid panties include:

Your child can walk to and sit on a toilet.
Your child can pull down and pull up her own pants.
Your child can stay dry for up to two hours.
Your child can understand and follow basic directions.
Your child can communicate when she needs to go.
Your child seems interested in using the toilet or wearing "big-kid" underwear.

If your child doesn’t show at least a few of these signs, it's probably not the right time, especially if there’s a change looming in your family (the addition of a sibling, or a move, for instance), which can regress your child’s potty-training progress.

As for night-time accidents, those can still happen even after your child is “good” at using the toilet. While most kids are fully potty-trained by age 5, experts say 15 to 20 percent of children between the ages of 5 and 7 still wet their beds at least occasionally. Bedwetting past age 7 can be genetic (if you or your partner wet the bed, your child might, too). Restricting fluids close to bedtime and encouraging “double-voiding” before bed can help. Children’s Hospital of Philadelphia has some good tips for what else can help.

9. The Worry: Your Child Is Dealing with a Big Change

While we all want life to be smooth sailing for our kids, the truth is that it’s just not always that. Things happen. You might lose your job. Your dog might die. Your child might have to move schools. But kids are resilient—especially with the right kind of support. “All of these kinds of situations, though upsetting, are normal parts of life,” Sherman said. “Therefore, there is no need to worry if your child is occasionally exposed to these stressors.”

Sherman recommends talking to kids about these things using matter-of-fact, age-appropriate language. “Tell them how it makes you feel, and ask them how it makes them feel,” she said. “Tell them their feelings are normal and make sense. Use their questions as a guide when deciding what to share.”

Kappadakunnel, whose approach is rooted in attachment theory parenting, chimed in, adding that it’s how you support your child through these changes that matters. “So many parents are consumed with fear that they're damaging your children,” she said. “We must remember that children are resilient and they will watch you to learn how to get through hard things in life.” She urges parents not to ignore or dismiss their child’s emotions but to instead offer empathy and compassion. “If you honor your child's emotions, offer your empathy and compassion, and support them in getting their needs met during this time, your child will learn a very important message: Even in difficult circumstances, they're never alone and others are reliable and dependable.”

10. The Worry: Your Child Always Cries at Preschool/Daycare Drop-Off

Hey parents, we’ve been there, and we get it. There’s nothing worse than handing your child over to teacher, babysitter, or daycare worker when your child is screaming and flailing as if you’ve just abandoned them at an orphanage. “Many parents worry that they are traumatizing their children at drop-off when their child is screaming, protesting, and resisting the transition,” said Kappadakunnel, who works with children as well as coaching parents. “It can feel anxiety-provoking to see a teacher lovingly release your child's grip from your jacket and bring them inside the classroom.” However, Kappadakunnel said, there is no evidence to suggest that these transitions cause any long-term damage or provoke trauma, “particularly when they are managed in compassionate, supportive ways.”

Of course, it can still be hard. To alleviate the stress on both you and your drop-off, Kappadakunnel suggests preparing your child in advance:

Talk with your child about the plan. Tell them, “I'm going to bring you to school, and your teachers will take you inside. How are you feeling about it?’" Kappadakunnel said. Don't pressure your child to have a good day. Instead, tell them, ‘You're going to have the day you're going to have. And I'll be back to pick you up when school is over.’"
Read books about separating and reuniting (Kappadakunnel recommends The Invisible String).
Have a ritual around separation, such as a particular phrase, like "Mommy always comes back," or a secret handshake, just between the two of you.
If your child is really struggling, consider sending them to school with an attachment object to help the transition. This might be a lovey in a backpack or a special keychain looped on the belt loop. “Be creative and work with your child on what would give them comfort,” Kappadakunnel said.

Lastly, trust that this will pass. “The teachers are trained for these kinds of issues, and they absolutely love and adore your child,” Kappadakunnel said. “Remind your child that you trust them to help with their big feelings, and that they are safe in school.”

11. The Worry: Your Child is Too...[Insert Adjective Here]

It’s easy to put your kids under a microscope to find something wrong. After all, we see them every day, so we’re the ones who notice when they are acting especially shy, when they're making us crazy, or when they’re bouncing off the walls for no apparent reason. But try not to overanalyze. “Your kids aren’t ‘too’ anything,” Los Angeles pediatrician Elham Raker told Tinybeans. “Just support them where they are. They will mature into the person they are meant to be.”

25 Working Moms Share the Advice That Changed Their Lives

by Alicia Cox ThomsonMarch 6, 2024

It’s hard to imagine how you’re going to juggle all the things when you go back to work after having a baby. On top of your actual job, there’s the laundry and cooking and grocery shopping, the emails from school, the playdates, and your bigger kid’s sweatpants suddenly having holes in every knee. It’s a lot. So we asked 25 working moms to share their best piece of advice, and boy did they deliver—with tips on everything from streamlining your home life to actually, realistically carving out time for yourself.

The Juggle Is Real

Plan the week out in person
“Every Sunday evening, my husband and I sit down and review the week ahead (logistics, upcoming events, to-dos, etc.) and create a one-page document that we print out and leave in an easy-to-see spot. We reference it all week! This exercise helps me get a hold of the ongoing mental list heading into the week.”

Do the small things first
“The best piece of advice I ever got was to live by the one-minute rule. Essentially, you do any task that takes a minute or less immediately. Don’t microwave your coffee, don’t call a friend, don’t pass go and collect $200—just do it now. All those little distractions add up to some aggressively long to-do lists and as working moms, we simply don’t have time for that. So if you bring in the mail, don’t plop it down to deal with later—just go through it right away and throw out the junk. If you get an email from the school that requires an easy response, get it over with. By getting all these little things out of the way ASAP you’re making more time for the big stuff, and we all need more time for the big stuff.”

Go ahead, take the shortcut
“Working full-time with young kids is hard, no doubt about it. Do what you have to do to get through the day, because some days are harder than others. Grilled cheese (for the fourth time this week)? Why not! A little extra screen time so you can complete a task that can no longer wait? Go for it. Sometimes, it’s about survival. These don’t have to be the moments that define you as a mom. These are the moments that let you keep the ship afloat so you can be the mom you really want to be.”

Prep the night before
“Whether you need to leave the house to go to work daily or once a week, make that morning as streamlined as possible. Shower the night before if you can. Plan your outfit and the kids’ clothes. Pack lunches. The easier it is for you to get ready, the easier it is to get out the door, and the smoother your day will be.”

Take allll the help
“My advice is to take any help you can get. Don’t try to be a hero. It literally takes a village. Know who you can count on for carpools and when you can share responsibilities with people you trust.”

Divide and conquer (and reevaluate regularly)
“I was the primary parent for many years, and even though I am now working full-time, I’m the primary parent in many ways. There are times when this becomes too much and the anger can build. Why do I need to still take care of the stuff I did before? The answer is, I don’t. This may mean our house is messier for longer, or the kids don’t get as many playdates, but inevitably, we started new routines and new schedules to balance out the division of labor. And if it feels like it’s not working again, it’s back to the drawing board to figure out a new routine. Don’t expect to have it all figured out right away. You need to try things out for a bit, sit with it, and adjust as needed.”

Switch up nighttime routines
“When it comes to the daily routine, try not to have one parent do bath time and bedtime every night. We have always had one parent clean up after dinner and the other handle the bedtime routine. And then the next night we switch, although it can be hard if mom is nursing. My husband would do everything to get the baby ready for bed, and I would nurse as the final step. Then your baby gets used to both parents, not only mom, at bedtime.”

Take the Zumba class
“A co-worker of mine once told me when my kids were really young how important it is for moms to have a life outside of their kids. At the time I would rush from work to pick them up from daycare when what I really wanted to do was attend the Zumba class that was held at our office. She encouraged me to do that and it really was life-changing. Now, I regularly leave them to travel and they have developed so many great life skills from me not always being home. Plus they see me following my dreams even as an adult which I think is so important.”

Work Life

Never apologize
“Do not apologize for saying ‘I need to go pick up my kids.’ Anything having to do with caring for your kids does not need an apology. To anyone. Ever. Be gracious and polite and tactful as the situation calls for, but don’t tell anyone you’re sorry you need to be a parent.”

Talk about your littles
“When I first had my daughter, I was reluctant to talk about parenting with clients and colleagues. I didn’t want anyone to assume that motherhood would get in the way of my performance. But I’ve come to realize that commiserating about potty training is actually a great way to break the ice and forge relationships with the parents I work with. These days, if I know a client or colleague has kids, I make a point of asking about them. This approach might not be right for every workplace, but it’s been effective for me.”

Seek out mother mentors
“Create a village at work to support you. Find mentors to help guide you as you make potentially new career decisions as a working mother. It’s great to engage women for your personal board of directors who are a few steps ahead of you in the working motherhood journey. That way they can share what they did in your shoes as you find new opportunities.”

Know your rights
“Know your rights as a mother and what the law says about maternity leave, time off to care for sick kids, time off for doctor visits, pumping and privacy, etc. No one can take advantage of you when you can back things up with the law.”

Dual Identities

Set work and socialization boundaries
“It can become awkward if your office environment is a more social one and you have to/want to/need to go home to your family. If you do feel tension around this, speak to your manager. Explain your boundaries – it’s better to be upfront and have everyone understand the expectations. Just be aware that you’ll have to stay and play sometimes (and that’s OK!).”

Work-life balance takes work
“Work-life balance isn’t a 50/50 daily split. It’s intentionally making the time for the things that you really care about, using boundaries, prioritizing, and planning your time over the long term. If you don’t have boundaries, everything is harder when it comes to finding time for what you care about. The easiest way to maintain boundaries after you define them is to use your calendar. Block off time to indicate when your work day ends. Put time on your calendar when you know you’ll be focused on family. Carve out time for things like exercise and self-care.”

Take time to switch from mom mode to work mode
“I usually feel a little frazzled from the adrenaline of the morning rush, so I give myself 25 minutes to shake it off and prepare myself to start my work day. I pop on a chatty, fun podcast (or put on some feel-good music if that’s more my mood), and do a quick sweep of the spaces I need to use. I remove all of the obvious kid debris and mess so that the space feels more calm and ordered. Then I change into an outfit I feel good in and do a two-minute glow-up to hide the tired eyes. I take a moment to make a coffee or eat something nourishing in my garden; just five minutes or so to myself outside in nature to reset. Then I head to my desk and get started–work mode activated!”

Focus on one thing at a time
“Avoid multitasking when it comes to childminding and working at the same time—it’s a poor result for everyone if you’re attempting to work while spending time with your children and vice-versa.”

Advancing In Your Career

Work advancements may mean less
“Once I had kids, I knew that work no longer took priority for me. And even though I went back to work eventually, I no longer felt like I needed the ‘cool’ job or the better title. I liked being able to work again, but also being able to shut my computer off and be with my family. I am a full-time project manager at home, I don’t need to be one at my job.”

Make deals on the playground
“You know the old cliché that business deals are made on the golf course? Well, they can be made on the playground too! I’ve found that parents, and moms in particular, are willing to help fellow parents reach career goals. Leveraging my network of fellow moms has led to valuable business relationships and even new clients.”

Work smarter and put yourself first
“Before kids I considered myself a hard worker, staying late at the office, taking on tasks for which I wasn’t recognized, agonizing over every word in an email. I no longer have that time as a working mom. Now I say no to tasks that don’t serve me, walk away from time-sucking clients, and yes, send a few emails with typos. I’ve dialed down my efforts at work and I’ve found that the work I produce is just as good.”

Put pumping on the cal
“If you’re planning to pump, put that time on your calendar so it doesn’t get eaten up by other meetings or requests. People will know that you’re unavailable.”

Mom Guilt and Expectations

No one has all the answers
“Don’t let anyone, especially social media influencers or experts, tell you what you can or can’t do. Don’t get hooked into the narrative of the burnt-out mom if it doesn’t serve you. We’ll all get overwhelmed, but it’s not written in the sky that you can’t have what you want in all aspects of your life. We’re just told, a lot, that, no, we can’t. And I don’t buy it.”

A little sorry goes a long way
“There may be moments when you lose your cool with your kid. Trying to get out the door in the morning when you’re already late for work is an opportune time for this. When you cool off later that day or even later that week, apologize and admit you made a mistake. Everyone will feel better for it.”

So does a little one-on-one time
“Try to carve out a little time each day to focus on your kids. Even just 10 minutes of ‘golden time’ as they call it. Makes me feel less guilty for the time I don’t get to spend with them and sometimes it actually helps their behavior.”

Making Time For Yourself (Really Though)

Rise and shine
“I like to get up as early as I can muster to have some alone time before the rest of my family wakes up. I make coffee, read a few chapters of my book, and just generally let myself bask in the quiet. I find that when my kids do get up I’m more calm and prepared for whatever they throw my way (tantrums, fights, breakfast disasters). Some people call it the 5 a.m. club, but mine’s more 6 a.m. or later because I’m not a morning person at all. But I do go to bed as early as I can to make this work.”

Fresh air is your friend
“I like to go for a walk before work, even when I work from home, and I call it my commute. Alone time, fresh air, and steps make me feel more ready for the day.”

The Best Activities for Toddlers, Based on Their Astrological Sign

by Maressa BrownFebruary 13, 2024

As your kid’s budding personality begins to reveal itself, you’re sure to get a kick out of all their quirks and preferences—and you can’t help but notice just how much of their own little person they really are. You might have loved a good impromptu dance party as a child, but your kid may be more content to revel in quiet time, read a picture book, or express themselves with watercolors. Or they’re super active and eager to sprint all over the park—or just about anywhere else you take them (sorry, fellow grocery store shoppers). To get an even better sense of your toddler’s favorite activities, you can look to their unique natal astrology, which offers valuable intel on their personality, perspective, and preferences.

As an astrologer and the author of Raising Baby by the Stars: A New Parent’s Guide to Astrology, I’m passionate about sharing the wisdom of astrology with parents to hopefully make life a little easier (and fun!). So let’s dive in and look at children’s astrology signs to better understand what your kid most likes to do.

Aries (March 21-April 20)

an aries symbol for a story on what activities your toddler likes based on your children's astrology signs

Aries is ruled by Mars, the planet of action and energy, so your little ram is one of the most on-the-go, physically active kids of the zodiac. Sitting still is not their forte, but bounding around and moving at lightning speed absolutely is, so this is a toddler who will not only love but need time outside at a playground or, on a rainy day, an indoor jungle gym. Even if they’re run-down, they may still want to do something fast and exciting, so zip them around your favorite park in a jogging stroller. Since they’re innately competitive and positively gleeful whenever they’re declared #1, competitive games are a must. Do a timed scavenger hunt or see who in the family can do the most jumping jacks in a minute. And because—as much as they may wish you were—you’re not an Energizer Bunny, when you do flip on a show or read them a book, your silly little Aries will love slapstick humor.

Taurus (April 21-May 20)

a taurus symbol for a story on what activities your toddler likes based on your children's astrology signs

Born under Taurus, the fixed earth sign, your wee bull is perfectly happy moving through life at a slow and steady pace. For that reason, when in doubt, err on the side of activities that don’t need to be rushed to complete—like slowly chipping away at a longer book or a LEGO building project. Because Taurus is ruled by Venus, the planet of art and beauty, your toddler has a soft spot for creative endeavors of all kinds—whether that’s making music with kid-size instruments or crafting their favorite animal out of Play-Doh. The bull is also known for being uniquely in touch with all five senses, so sensory activities that allow your tot to engage through sight, smell, touch, taste, and sound are sure to be a winner. Think: heading to the nearest playground for a picnic and discussing all the elements of nature around you, from birds singing to flowers sprouting.

Gemini (May 21-June 21)

a gemini symbol for a story on what activities your toddler likes based on your children's astrology signs

Gemini toddlers are among the most social and chatty kids of the zodiac thanks to their ruling planet Mercury, the information-gathering planet that oversees communication, transportation, and technology. The sign of the twins also happens to be associated with the Third House of Communication, so activities that involve other kids are sure to be a hit, whether that’s a group playdate or mommy and me class. Your twins child is also bound to be a bookworm who adores trips to the library or bookstore, especially if they involve storytime. Known to be as adept at listening as they are at sharing their many thoughts, you’ll do well to prioritize opportunities for them to flex their conversation skills, whether that’s by FaceTiming loved ones or just chatting through their routine. Games that incorporate wordplay (like “I Spy”) are also winners for Gemini toddlers. And given that Mercury rules transportation, they’ll love learning about trains, planes, or automobiles.

Cancer (June 22-July 21)

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Your little crab is a heartfelt, intuitive, sentimental sweetheart who, even more than other toddlers, can let loose and have the most fun when they feel securely attached to you and other family members. These traits are owed, in great part, to the fact that Cancer is ruled by the moon, which oversees emotions, intuition, and maternal energy in astrology. So, put on a playlist of your favorite heart-soaring songs (“Let It Go,” anyone?) and encourage your crab cutie to sing along with you. Your little Cancer will also love a leisurely stroll by the nearest body of water (something that’s infinitely therapeutic for a water sign) while strapped to you or holding your hand. Speaking of water, they love playing with bath or pool toys, and as an innately nurturing sign you can tap into their desire to take care of others by playing veterinarian or preparing yummy snacks for their siblings.

Leo (July 22-August 22)

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Outgoing, buoyant, confident, and eager to be the center of attention, your little lion owes their exuberance to their ruler, the vitality-bringing sun. They’re also natural-born leaders, so any activity that allows them to run the show (like Follow the Leader) will fire them up. Associated with the Fifth House of Fun and Self-Expression, Leo toddlers love to share what’s in their hearts and on their minds through big, showy creative outlets, like playing dress-up with brightly colored (ideally sparkly!) or otherwise vibrant costumes, putting on a play, or having an impromptu dance party—which you’ll be instructed by your budding star to capture on your phone. While Leo toddlers tend to be fairly extroverted and active, they’re more apt to sit still for books and movies that revolve around being a star or a leader, like Disney’s The Lion Guard. But no matter what they adore the most, as a result of being the fixed fire sign, don’t be surprised if once they’ve pinpointed an activity they love, they’ll want to do it again and again.

Virgo (August 23-September 22)

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Born under the mutable earth sign, your maiden is thoughtful, helpful, and super-communicative, and you’ll want to look to their ruling planet Mercury, the messenger planet, for valuable clues on their favorite activities. Associated with the Sixth House of Daily Routine, they’ll love pitching in on any to-do you need to check off your list, whether that’s putting away laundry or feeding the family kitty. They’ll likely also be fans of games that involve organization or sorting. And from the time they’re tiny they’re bound to be intrigued by language, so you can’t miss with some dedicated storytime, ideally reading books that cover Virgoan themes like everyday routines, healthy habits, and nurturing your well-being and the world around you (think: The Curious Garden by Peter Brown). Also be sure to give your Virgo the opportunity to “write” their own books or share their own stories out loud, as their Mercurial influence means they’re natural storytellers.

Libra (September 23-October 22)

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Your Libra kid is partnership-oriented, beauty-loving, and peace-seeking as a result of the scales’ ruler, Venus, the planet of relationships, art, and harmony. Associated with the Seventh House of Partnership, they’re most likely to enjoy one-on-one bonding activities with you, another caregiver, or your bestie’s kid (who is bound to be their BFF, too). Scales kids will love trips to an art museum, making up their very own song, or experimenting with new hairstyles or colorful outfits. They’re especially driven to hone their personal style, so they’ll have fun playing with their very own grooming kit or even keeping you company while you do your skincare or hair-styling routine. And although they shine best when they’re part of a pair, they’re also social butterflies at heart, meaning they’ll dive right into a dance or music class and instantly make friends.

Scorpio (October 23-November 21)

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Intense, emotionally intelligent, and dynamic, your Scorpio kid owes their innate magnetism and powerful vibe to their modern ruler Pluto, the planet of transformation, and their traditional ruler Mars, the planet of action and energy. And you’ll do well to look to the themes of both of these planets when brainstorming activities for your scorpion tot. For example, Pluto’s all about uncovering the shadow side of life, so your kiddo will be drawn to puzzles or games that involve a mystery they can solve. And given their Mars influence, they’ll enjoy pastimes that allow them to take charge—like picking out a Sunday night dinner or taking on the role of Simon in a game of Simon Says. As a water sign, Scorps also adore time spent at the beach or swimming, which they’re sure to find calming. It also bears noting that Scorpio is associated with the Eighth House of Emotional Bonds, so entertainment that sets the stage for conversations about deep-rooted emotions (like Inside Out) will resonate with your toddler.

Sagittarius (November 22-December 21)

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Upbeat, independent, and outspoken, your toddler was born under the mutable fire sign ruled by fortunate Jupiter, the planet of abundance and expansion. To that end, wanderlust-filled Sag’s mantra is “bigger is better,” so you’ll always do well to prioritize activities that broaden your child’s horizon, whether that’s taking them on a walk through a thrilling nature trail, heading to the zoo to learn about animals from all over the globe, catching a train ride to the nearest city to go sightseeing, or actually doing some long-distance traveling with your future aspiring globe-trotter. But on homebody days, you can lean on books, games, and puzzles that allow your Sag’s mind to wander all over the planet (like Busy, Busy World by Richard Scarry). They’ll also be one of the first of the zodiac to enjoy learning a new language. And even in your own neighborhood, take them to the widest play area you can find, as your free-spirited tot will always love running and playing in big open spaces.

Capricorn (December 22-January 21)

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Your Capricorn toddler is a driven smarty-pants with a penchant for rules and tradition, thanks to their ruling planet, taskmaster Saturn, which oversees commitment and boundaries. Kids born under the cardinal earth sign like to take the initiative and work step-by-step toward a goal, so you might find they really enjoy using a piggy bank to save up allowance or helping you tend to the family garden or household plants (an activity that also speaks to your little green thumb’s earthiness). Associated with the Tenth House of Career and Public Image, you could be surprised by just how much your toddler acts like a little CEO in training, which is also a sign that they’ll enjoy playing a game of make-believe revolving around being the boss. As an old soul at heart, your Cap toddler will enjoy listening to old-school tunes (you could be surprised just how much they love artists like Stevie Wonder or Ella Fitzgerald) and learning about history—specifically, game-changing leaders from the past.

Aquarius (January 22-February 18)

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Your social, humanitarian, highly original toddler, born under the fixed air sign, owes their electrifyingly innovative MO to their modern ruling planet, Uranus, which oversees change, rebellion, and the desire to strike out against convention. In turn, know that your water-bearer kid will always want to march to the beat of their own drum. If all the other kids in the neighborhood are into an activity they saw on Ms. Rachel this week, your Aquarius might want to do anything but that. Instead, they may prefer to make up their own game—or better yet, science experiment or invention project. At the same time, because Aquarius is associated with the Eleventh House of Networking, they’re community-oriented, so they’ll like hanging out at the local pool or playground with a group of playmates or making new friends when you visit friends or family on a road trip. They also adore technology and science due to Uranus being the planet of electricity and innovation, so prioritize activities that make it possible for them to learn about these subjects—and maybe even make a cutting-edge discovery.

Pisces (February 19-March 20)

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Your fish toddler, born under the mutable water sign, is deeply emotional, tenderhearted, sensitive, perceptive, empathic, and innately in tune with the mystical aspects of life. This is owed to their modern ruler, Neptune, the planet of spirituality, and the fact that Pisces is associated with the Twelfth House of Spirituality. That said, you’ll want to embrace Neptunian themes when planning activities for your Pisces, like keeping a dream journal, expressing emotions through art (whether that’s coloring or working with you to write a poem), learning about crystals, reading or making up whimsical, fantastical stories, or engaging in mind-body practices like meditation, deep breathing, or kid yoga. Because they’re so compassionate and apt to pick up on all the energy and emotions around them, you may find they enjoy and benefit from activities that teach self-soothing, like spending time in a calming corner or listening to their favorite mellow, soft music.

10 Disciplinary Phrases That Actually Get Through to Kids

by Kipp Jarecke-ChengJanuary 17, 2024

Disciplining kids of all ages can be tricky. We’ve all been in the heat of the moment when frustrations are high, and the default impulse to yell at or shame a misbehaving child is difficult to resist. According to experts, these tactics are minimally effective in the short term and entirely ineffective in the long term. “Children aren’t misbehaving because they are bad,” says Carole Kramer Arsenault, CEO of Boston Baby Nurse & Nanny. “They are trying to learn, and how we respond will have a huge impact on their development.”

Instead of losing your cool, engaging in positive discipline practices can help to more effectively manage unwanted or inappropriate behavior and allow little ones to genuinely learn and understand lessons about the consequences of their behavior. We consulted parenting experts for practical advice to help kids and parents weather the storms of tantrums, misbehaving, and acting out—scroll down to see 10 simple and effective disciplinary phrases to try the next time you need to put your foot down.

1. “Let’s talk about it calmly.” Defusing and de-escalating a tense situation is often the first order of business when disciplining a child. “Parents and kids are stressed like never before,” says Kramer Arsenault. “When you think back to how parents have traditionally responded to [their kids’] big emotions, it was often to react with similarly big emotions. Instead, our mindset about disciplining children needs to shift.” As an author, registered nurse, certified parenting coach, and mother of three, Kramer Arsenault said that rather than disciplining as punishment, parents should use these as teachable moments, starting from a calm place.

2. “Stop. Keep your hands to yourself.” In a circumstance where a child’s behavior may be hurting others, such as biting or hitting, Kramer Arsenault said it’s essential for parents to provide clarity in their directions to ensure parent and child are on the same page. “Instead of saying ‘You know you should keep your hands to yourself, right?’ it’s better to say it as a statement rather than ask a question.” Be firm and direct.

3. “No means no.” Being kind but firm is important to establish boundaries for a child. According to Dr. Stephen Bavolek, author of Nurturing Parenting Programs, setting boundaries and expectations for children helps build important life skills, including patience, problem solving, responsibility, and self-discipline. “The purpose of family rules is for parents and children to establish consistent guidelines that will help everyone know what is and isn’t expected of them,” said Bavolek.

dad using positive discipline on his daughter — iStock

4. “Try to do better.” Acknowledging that there is an opportunity to do better is important for a child’s growth. Maureen Healey, child development expert and author of “The Emotionally Healthy Child,” says, “When we’re upset, we may scream or slam doors, but moving from reactivity to responsiveness is the path to positive emotional health.” Encouraging children to catch themselves and make different, better choices is an important life lesson.

5. “Consider the consequences.” Trying to reason with an upset child can seem like a Sisyphean task, but guiding a child to understand the consequences of her actions can have a lasting impact. “Having clear expectations is very important,” says Kramer Arsenault. “But sharing the consequences of actions is just as important, too.”

6. “Let’s take some deep breaths together.” Tense situations between parent and child sometimes warrant time outs for both parties to allow the heated moment to pass. According to the American Academy of Pediatrics, effective discipline to raise healthy children does not include any form of corporal punishment. Researchers have linked corporal punishment to an increased risk of negative behavioral, cognitive, psychosocial, and emotional outcomes for children.

7. “Can I find a special toy for you?” If a child is fighting over a toy with another child, redirecting their attention and refocusing on something else can alleviate the tension. Children sometimes misbehave because they are hungry, bored, or don’t know any better. Experts said encouraging something new or different to focus on is a useful reframing and disciplining tactic.

8. “It’s OK to be upset.” Permitting children to experience their feelings is important to developing their sense of self and security. “Kids have a lot of emotions and outbursts, and sometimes they don’t understand why,” says Kramer Arsenault. “Just explaining and teaching them that it’s OK to feel upset is an important lesson.”

9. “Can you choose a better word to use?” Talking back or potty talk can be alarming. For example, parents may experience their potty-training kid suddenly expressing themselves with colorful (and inappropriate) language like “poopy-head.” Fortunately, the American Academy of Pediatrics assures that this is a normal developmental stage, and parents should avoid overreacting or making light of unwanted language. Instead, encourage problem solving and finding better, more appropriate language.

10. Sometimes, silence is golden. While there are serious misbehaviors that should never be ignored—including aggression or anything that puts a child or others in harm’s way—selectively ignoring relatively minor, negative attention-seeking actions, such as whining, temper tantrums, and talking back, may help to curtail those problematic behaviors in children. According to research, positive reinforcement through praise and support, with consistency and clarity, results in greater emotional stability and health of children.

When words fail, Boston Baby Nurse & Nanny’s Carole Kramer Arsenault suggested three simple reminders:

Parents need to better educate themselves to appropriate, positive disciplining.
Parents can build trust with their children through consistency and clarity.
Lastly, and most importantly, parents should model the behavior they want from their children.

These Disney Baby Care Centers Are Every Parent’s Dream

by Kate LowethJanuary 16, 2024

A quiet refuge from the crowds that sells anything you forgot at the hotel? Yes, please.

As any parent who’s done it knows, so much planning and money go into a Disney Parks visit, and throwing a baby into the mix makes things that much more complicated. Not only do you have to lug all their gear, extra clothes, food, diapers, a stroller, and so on, but what do you do if you forget something back at the hotel? That’s where the Disney magic comes in.

A lesser-known attraction at Disney Parks (but arguably one of the best!) is their amazing Baby Care Centers—fully staffed lounges that are just what you need after a day of juggling toddlers and long lines. These large, fully equipped spaces offer a quiet, air-conditioned place to feed and change your baby away from the crowds. If you forgot your baby food or ran out of diapers, you can also buy backups of anything you could need.

Here’s everything Disney Baby Care Centers offer:

Nursing room with rocking chairs
Changing room with tables
Toddler-size toilets (for Guests under 42” tall)
Feeding area with highchairs
Kitchen with sink, bottle warmers, filtered water dispenser, and microwave (select use only)
Vending machine or shop offering formula, baby food, juice, diapers, wipes, sunscreen, pacifiers, and over-the-counter medication
Main room with seating and Disney cartoons playing on the TV

The best news of all? It’s totally free to use the Baby Care Centers when you visit Disney. You’ll find them in Magic Kingdom, EPCOT, Hollywood Studios, and Animal Kingdom at Walt Disney World as well as in both Disneyland and Disney California Adventure at the California park. Just search “baby care” on the My Disney Experience app.

Read: A Disneyland Expert Shares Her Best Tips for Visiting with Toddlers

Mom Alyssa Sprake went viral on TikTok for her tour of the Baby Care Center at Walt Disney World’s Magic Kingdom.

https://www.tiktok.com/@alyssaksprake/video/7321305190680775966?_r=1&_t=8iqRT1vB1kh

Not only were we surprised by how roomy and clean this space is, but it had so many handy items for sale, including period products and deodorant for teens and parents.

TikToker @xonissi shared the Baby Care Center at the Disneyland property:

@xonissi

#Disneyland #Baby #Disneymom #BabyCareHacks #Disney #Mickey #Babygirl #BabyBoy #Diaper #Hughies #Pamper #Bottle #Momlife #DisneyDay #DCA #VacationTips #Travelingmoms #Disneylandlife #Disneyahacks #Babycarecenter #Babies #Infants #MotherHood #Parenthood #Nursing #Breastfeeding #Mainstreet #MagicKey #Baby

♬ Married Life (From “Up”) – Geek Music

One commenter replied that the kid-sized toilets were super helpful when they visited with potty-training toddlers and another explained that the pacifiers were a life-saver when they forgot their baby’s soother at home. They’re also a place where lost children are cared for by cast members until they’re reunited with their families.

In a pinch, you can find changing stations at other bathrooms in the park, but they can’t sell you that pack of wipes you lost along the way—and they certainly won’t give you that same magical feeling.

Is a Nanny Share the Answer to Your Childcare Problems?

by Casey ClarkDecember 15, 2023

A few things swirl through your mind in those seemingly endless nesting days. Can you just call your baby Squish forever or do you actually have to agree on a name? What kind of nursery will be just right for said baby? And who on earth is going to take care of them for their first few years of life?! With childcare costs always on the rise, that last one is a real doozy. In fact, the average cost of childcare has gone up more than 30 percent since 2019, according to the Bank of America Institute. But crafty families who can’t get a spot at their local childcare center and can’t afford a dedicated nanny have found another, more affordable option: nanny shares.

If you’re reading this now, it’s safe to say you’re probably interested in finding a nanny share, or at least learning more about them. So we spoke with childcare experts and families who partake in nanny shares to get the lowdown on this more modern, budget-friendly(er) approach to babysitting. Plus, you’ll get some tips on how to find a nanny share in your neighborhood and what you can expect if you decide to go this route.

What is a nanny share?

As the name implies, a nanny share involves sharing a nanny. According to Lynn Perkins, founder and CEO of UrbanSitter, a nanny share is where two families team up and split the cost of a single nanny, who cares for kids from both families. “It’s a budget-friendly way to get personalized care for your children,” says Perkins. “Families coordinate schedules, pick a host home (or share hosting), and work out all the details.”

Now that you know the basics about nanny shares, let’s get a bit more into the nitty gritty.

How do nanny shares work?

So what does a nanny share actually look like? In terms of picking a host home, that’s generally sorted out by the parents or at the request of the nanny (for example, if they live closer to one of the families).

“The nanny may travel back and forth between the two families’ homes, or pick one location and have that be the permanent spot for the nanny to work from,” says Olivia Rutman, founder of Kids Care Finder.

For Kristin Nelson, a mother from Nashville, TN, her nanny was vocal that she did not want to move between houses and pick up and drop off any kids. “Our arrangement meant the second family dropped their child at our house on weekdays around 8:00 a.m. and picked him up around 5:00 p.m.”

“We set up a dedicated room (let’s be honest, it was a closet in a spare room) with our pack-and-play, blackout shades, and a sound machine for the other child’s naps. The family provided a monitor we set up in the room,” says Nelson. “I let the family have their own drawer in our kitchen to store formula, bottles, diapers, and other stocked items. This way, the second family didn’t have to transport daily essentials back and forth every day. They would restock formula, diapers, wipes, etc. periodically. Any dirty laundry went home with the child.”

What does a nanny share cost?

Nanny shares cost more than the average daycare, but less than a personal nanny. According to Rutman, private nannies typically range from $25-$30 per hour, give or take $5/hour depending on location and experience.

“The nanny’s rate is set based on the number of children and sometimes nannies will add a slight premium for working with two families,” says Perkins. “This cost per family is usually much less than they would pay for a nanny for just their child.”

Nelson and her sitter agreed on 1.5x the standard nanny rate. Jamie H, a communications executive from Chicago, and her nanny settled on a rate of $28 for two children, which goes to show how pricing can vary greatly depending on the number of children, location, and responsibilities, among other factors.

You might be able to save more by sending your child to daycare, but this depends on the type of institution, hours, and location—and, in some cities, securing a highly coveted spot.

What are the benefits of a nanny share?

More affordable

As mentioned above, nanny shares are a more economical way to have a personal nanny as you’re splitting the hourly cost with another family. For parents with a limited budget for childcare, a nanny share can be a workaround if they don’t nab a spot at a daycare.

More flexibility

“Our nanny share couldn’t have been more convenient because the other family lived in our building,” says Lauren, who was based in Brooklyn at the time. “The morning rush was practically nonexistent!” She also explained how much easier it was to deal with unexpected hiccups in the schedule, sick days, and holidays versus childcare centers with strict hours and dates.

Another perk, as opposed to personal nannies, is that having four parents on hand instead of two makes covering a sick nanny’s days off a little easier.

More opportunities to socialize

For those families with only one child, the opportunities to socialize might be limited. However, participating in a nanny share can help introduce more socialization in a more intimate and controlled setting.

“I think it’s really important that both kids be at similar ages so the activities and schedules match up with where each child is developmentally,” says Nelson. “For example, since our kids were 3 months apart, they both napped at the same time, went through potty training together, etc.”

And not only are the kids building sibling-like relationships, but it’s also an opportunity for the families participating in the nanny share to build a close, familial connection— and some maintain that relationship for years to come.

More Attention

Another thing parents love about nanny shares is that the ratio of baby to caregiver is so low, so they’re still getting that personalized attention that isn’t possible at daycare centers.

How to find a nanny share

Once you’ve decided on a nanny share, there are a few things you have to figure out: finding a local family who is interested in having a joint nanny and a caretaker who is willing to make this type of arrangement.

These days, it’s easier to locate interested families on social media platforms like Facebook or Instagram, and websites like UrbanSitter, Care.com, Sittercity, and The Nanny Network help parents find nannies who are open to nanny shares.

Jamie H. found a family for her child to join through a local Facebook moms group. This isn’t the only way, but it’s definitely a great place to start if you’re looking for a family that’s close to where you live.

You can also go by word of mouth. For example, if you have a friend who is currently involved in a nanny share, check if they or their share family know anyone looking to do the same. You can also ask if their nanny knows any other nannies looking for a similar setup.

How do you know if a nanny share is right for you?

If you’re looking for more personalized care for your baby but without the private nanny price tag, this type of arrangement might offer the best of both worlds. That said, nanny shares work best with parents who are open to compromise since two families will be making decisions on what the kiddos eat, their sleeping arrangements, where and how they spend their days, and so on. They might not work as well for people who sweat the details or need to be completely in control.

And then there’s the nanny’s preferences. If they prefer to go to the other family’s house, then you’ll have to be OK with the morning commute. If you’re hosting, you’ll need to have the extra space in your home to accommodate the kids and be prepared for clean up.

Additionally, a lot of families in nanny shares like to coordinate their time off so no one is left paying for several days or weeks alone, so some flexibility is always an asset.

At the end of the day, when a nanny share works it can really work, and that’s why so many parents have gone down this road. The key is finding a fellow family that you jive with and a nanny who you both feel comfortable with.

How & When to Stop Your Kid’s Thumb-Sucking Habit

by Caitlin McCormackNovember 21, 2023

You probably never thought you’d come to resent a pruney little appendage, but here we are.

Thumb-sucking may be cute when kids are tiny tots, but it can quickly turn into a habit that’s hard to kick. Which is why the question that’s top of mind for so many parents is: do you have to stop them? And, if the answer is yes, do any of those products that claim to help keep thumbs out of mouths actually work? Here’s what you need to know about the habit that’s so common among littles, including when and how to stop thumb-sucking.

Why do babies suck their thumbs?

When you spent hours staring at your newborn’s perfect little face (or glanced down from whichever Real Housewives season you were bingeing), you may have noticed them making little sucking motions in their sleep. That’s because babies have a natural urge to suck, leading them to put their thumbs or fingers into their mouth—something you might even see during an ultrasound before they’re born.

Around 75% of all little ones in the US will suck their thumb in their first year of life, so if your baby takes a shining to that pudgy little finger you’re certainly not alone. While the urge tends to decrease around the age of 6 months, many babies will continue to suck their thumbs well into toddlerhood, and sometimes beyond, says Toni-Ann Antoniato, a speech-language pathologist specializing in myofunctional therapy and the CPO of Spot Pal. Typically, they turn to the habit to self-soothe when feeling hungry, tired, bored, or scared.

Extended thumb sucking can be a concern for parents, leaving them wondering about the ideal age for their child to bid farewell to this habit. Although your pediatrician can offer personalized guidance, we’ve got some expert tips if you’re looking to get a sense of how it’s done.

Problems with thumb sucking

It might seem like a fairly harmless habit, but thumb-sucking can actually impact a child’s development in multiple ways.

“Frequent thumb sucking over a longer period of time can affect the way a child’s teeth bite together and the growth of the jaw,” says Dr. Scott W. Cashion, president of the American Academy of Pediatric Dentistry. “The upper teeth may tip outward or become crooked and other changes in tooth position or jaw alignment could occur.” The earlier your kid stops their sucking habit, the less chance there is that they’ll have orthodontic problems down the road.

Cashion adds that the sucking reflex is completely normal and many children will stop sucking on thumbs, pacifiers, or other objects on their own between about 2 and 4 years of age.

Thumb sucking can also negatively impact the muscles and structures of the face, which we use for speaking. When they don’t function properly, kids can end up having difficulty producing speech sounds, says Antoniato.

“Thumb and pacifier-sucking habits will generally only become a problem if they go on for a very long period of time,” says Cashion. “Most children stop these habits on their own, but if they are still sucking their thumbs or fingers past the age of three, a mouth appliance may be recommended by your pediatric dentist.”

How to stop thumb sucking

Slowly pare down the habit.

Try limiting the time and location that thumb sucking occurs—for example, only at home or only while a kid is in their bedroom—to help them ease out of the habit, Cashion suggests.

Stay positive.

Cashion says parents should take a positive approach and focus on praising their child when they are not thumb-sucking, advice that Antoniato echoes. “Never do we want to do any type of social embarrassment or negative reinforcement to break the habit,” she says.

“Bandaid” solutions like that foul-tasting polish or wearing a glove on their go-to hand tend to be associated with shame and negativity, but the positive reinforcement of a reward or sticker chart can help some kids feel motivated to suck their thumbs less.

Find an alternative.

How you break their thumb-sucking habit depends on the age of your child, says Antoniato. “If your child is under 1 year of age, yet older than 6 months, try substituting the sucking habit with a healthier alternative, such as an infant oral motor tool or a textured teether,” she says.

“Also continue to stimulate the mouth with proper feeding, which can include introducing a straw cup and open cup and progressing into solid foods, which is typically recommended at 6 months of age.” Once they’ve started solids, foods with different textures are another healthy way for them to explore their oral cavity.

Speak to an expert.

Antoniato recommends an evaluation with a speech-language pathologist trained in myofunctional therapy if your child is continuing to suck their thumb or finger into toddlerhood. This will help figure out if there’s another underlying reason for their prolonged habit, like a tongue or lip tie. They can also determine whether additional referrals are warranted to help you get dedicated support in how to stop your kid’s thumb-sucking.

Consider an appliance

If they’re still leaning into the habit past the age of three, a mouth appliance may be recommended by your pediatric dentist, notes Cashion. “If your child’s dentist identifies the need for an orthodontic appliance or dental appliance, they will talk you through what is involved and how the appliance corrects the issue,” he says.

This can be an appliance that helps kids kick the habit by making it harder to suck comfortably, or, depending on the kid’s age, it may be part of an orthodontic appliance being used to kick the habit while also correcting the movement of teeth that it’s caused, Cashion explains.

Have your dentist explain.

For older children, Cashion adds that their dentist can explain the effects of thumb or finger sucking on teeth to your child in an appropriate manner during regular check-ups. He says that oftentimes this advice, along with support from parents, enables many children to stop thumb-sucking.

When to seek professional help

As far as prolonged thumb sucking goes, Antoniato says there are some signs parents can look out for that can indicate the need for a professional evaluation. They include:

sleep issues such as mouth breathing
snoring or audible breathing
restless sleeping
teeth grinding
prolonged bed wetting

Antoniato says that oftentimes children will continue to engage in sucking habits when they are presenting with airway restrictions, which also often impacts sleep and causes sleep-disordered breathing.

Another sign parents can look for is if the teeth appear to be misaligned.

“Oftentimes the pressure of the thumb and the sucking against the teeth cause the teeth to move and as a result the upper and lower teeth are not contacting each other correctly,” says Antoniato.

It’s also advised for parents to check how their child looks at rest – are their lips open or closed? Can you see their tongue resting forward, on, or between the teeth? Antoniato notes that at rest, a child should have their lips closed, breathe through the nose, and you should be unable to see their tongue.

“If you notice any changes to your child’s mouth or have general concerns, reach out to your pediatric dentist,” says Cashion. Their dentist will also monitor development during regular cleanings.

Overall, caregivers should remain positive and supportive as they work with their child to help them stop sucking their thumb, and remember that this behavior is normal and most children will eventually break the habit on their own.

Potty Training Supplies That Make You a Potty Training Pro

by Kate CartiaOctober 28, 2023

Potty training can definitely be daunting. Whether you’re dreading starting, have started and stopped more than once, find yourself on an unsuccessful plateau, or wondering when to start potty training, it’s a big step. The right tools are a must, so we found them for you. These products are clean, clever, and convenient, so not only will your kiddo learn the tricks of the toilet trade, you’ll be able to hang onto your sanity. We’ve been there and now we’re here to help tackle this childhood chapter. So if you’re wondering when to start potty training, it might be time. Read on for our guide to some of the best potty training supplies out there.

Joovy Loo Potty Chair

The design of this training potty has a completely sealed inner bowl and has two parts that fit together cleanly, keeping cracks and nooks out of the way of splashes and spills!

Joovy Loo Potty Chair ($44.95)—Buy Here!

PottyCover 6-Pack Disposable Toilet Seat Covers

Potty training doesn't have to stop just because you aren't at home! These disposable toilet seat covers keep little ones away from germs and moisture thanks to the woven top and plastic bottom.

PottyCover 6-Pack Disposable Toilet Seat Covers ($8.99)—Buy Here

Potty Training Watch

Thanks, technology! This little-wrist-ready wristwatch has a customizable looping alarm with music and lights to get their attention no matter what they're doing and remind them to head to the potty. It's lightweight, waterproof, and the perfect fit for small wrists. Available in multiple colors.

Potty Training Watch ($19.99)—Buy Here

Sposie Dribbles Underwear Inserts

Children's underwear liner — Select Kids

We're all for disposable kiddo underwear, but some kids find them a little embarrassing. Underwear inserts are far more discreet and can even work for older kids struggling with a bed-wetting phase or sleeping over at friends' houses!

Sposie Dribbles Underwear Inserts ($18.99)—Buy Here!

Poofetti

This is exactly what you think it is. Aptly named "potty flair", this septic-safe, essential oil-scented confetti is sprinkled into the toilet when it's time to go, then flush away! Developed by a mom (we always love that), Poofetti can also be used as a target for training little boys to aim!

Poofetti ($5.99)—Buy Here!

The First Years Super Pooper Plus Potty Toilet Training Seat

Let's get real: one of the most challenging parts of potty training is teaching your little one to be comfortable with going #2. This training potty makes it more comfortable, especially for kiddos who have some fear or discomfort around going. The footrest lifts their legs into a squatting position that's been proven to make going easier!

The First Years Super Pooper Plus Potty Toilet Training Seat ($36.99)—Buy Here!

The First Years Sit or Stand Potty & Urinal 2-in-One Potty Training Chair

The 2-in-1 seat clips to the side of your toilet for an adjustable height urinal, or can be set straight up on the floor for a traditional training potty!

The First Years Sit or Stand Potty & Urinal 2-in-1 Potty Training Chair ($19.99)—Buy Here!

Double-Up Step Stool

Set of two interlocking grey stools — Skip Hop

The space-saving nesting design creates either a double-step-up stool or two separate stools to assist kids in reaching the sink for washing up or stand-up potty training!

Double Step-Up Stool ($22.00)—Buy Here!

OXO Tot 2-in-1 Potty with Travel Bag

On-the-go potty training problems be gone! This seat works as a stand-alone potty with disposable bags (3 included) or can clip onto any standard toilet seat!

OXO Tot 2-in-1 Potty with Travel Bag ($20.95)—Buy Here!

Friday Baby All-in-One Potty Kit

A one-and-done kit for all your potty training needs, it includes the Frida Baby Grow-With-Me Potty, toilet-topper, step-stool, and clean-up essentials!

Frida Baby All-in-One Potty Kit ($55.00)—Buy Here!

MooMoo Baby 8-Pack Toddler Training Underwear

Amazon reviewers are gaa-gaa for these training undies! With extra-absorbent fabric that’s still soft and comfy on kids' skin and several styles to choose from, it's easy to see why verified Amazon customers rate these 4.6 stars!

MooMoo Baby 8-Pack Toddler Training Underwear ($26.32)—Buy Here!

Seat Magic Stickers

These stickers react to heat, so when your kiddo goes potty, the sticker changes from black to a fun image! They're reusable and shown to be extremely effective in getting your child trained within 1-3 days (all kiddos are different, but having a fully-trained little one within 3 days is a definite possibility!).

Seat Magic Stickers ($12.99)—Buy Here!

All the products listed are independently & personally selected by our shopping editors.

If you buy something from the links in this article, we may earn affiliate commission or compensation. Prices and availability reflect the time of publication.

All images courtesy of retailers.

1. Don’t start too soon—or too late.

2. Don’t put your potty chair out so they can “get used to it.”

3. You don’t need a fancy potty seat.

4. Don’t mistake “Three-Day Potty Training” for three days only.

5. Don’t get emotional or angry when your kiddo has an accident.

6. Similarly, don’t say “It’s OK” when your child has an accident.

7. Don’t let your kids wear diapers or pull-ups while potty training.

8. Don’t just plop your tot on the potty at regular intervals all day long.

9. Don’t ask your child if they need to go potty.

10. Don’t bribe kids (but rewards once a child has learned the skill can be OK).

11. Don’t sit your child in front of the TV (or your phone) to go potty.

12. Don’t move potty training along too fast.

13. Don’t talk about poop like it’s gross.

14. Don’t stress too much.

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