ML Interest Tag: practice

Meditation for Parents: A Guide for Beginners

by Annette Benedetti

As rewarding as parenting is, a certain amount of stress comes with the territory (kids, job, home management!). The good news is that recent studies show that the benefits of meditation are abundant, and when practiced regularly, it can significantly reduce anxiety. If you would like more harmonious home life but aren’t sure where to begin, read on for a quick and easy guide on everything you need to know about how to meditate.

The Basics

Benjamin Child via Unsplash

What is meditation?
You can hardly walk down the street without catching a snippet of conversation or pass by a yoga studio with signage touting the wonders of meditation. As widely publicized as the practice is, meditation remains a mystery to many.

Simply put, meditation is a mind and body practice that involves focusing your attention on a single point of reference and away from distracting thoughts and external stimuli that cause anxiety. Parents are, by necessity, multitaskers. Moms and dads spend most of their time considering what happened earlier in the day and what has to be done tomorrow, all while cleaning the house and making work calls simultaneously. Meditation practice gives practitioners five, 10, 30 or more minutes a day of simply living in the present.

The Benefits of Meditation
Meditation is particularly effective at helping parents to manage stress levels, but studies show it offers other benefits. Along with addressing anxiety, it helps reduce and manage feelings of anger and hostility, as well as psychological distress. Regular meditation practice has also been shown to be good for heart health, as it lowers blood pressure—particularly for people at risk for high blood pressure. Additional benefits include relief from symptoms of IBS and colitis, help with insomnia and pain management.

Types of Meditation

Madison Lavern via Unsplash

Confusion over the practice of meditation often comes from the variations that exist. Here we break down the most common types of meditation that are practiced.

Mindfulness Meditation
By far one of the most popular approaches, the mindfulness practice is easy to start on your own. Practitioners find a quiet spot where they can sit comfortably and then, without judgment, take note of how their mind wanders. The idea is to quietly observe your thoughts without experiencing them as pleasant or unpleasant. This practice helps develop inner peace and emotional balance.

Breath Awareness Meditation
A variation on the Mindfulness Meditation, this version calls for the practitioner to find a quiet place to sit where they can remain undisturbed and focus their attention on the breath. This practice can include counting breaths or focusing on the sensations it creates in the body. When thoughts enter the mind or distract from the breath, practitioners are encouraged to gently and without judgment take note and shift their focus back to breathing. This practice improves concentration and reduces anxiety.

Mantra Meditation
Much like other forms of meditation, this practice involves finding a quiet place to focus attention on a mantra, phrase or word. The mantra can be chanted out loud or thought without being spoken. It is repeated for a set period, and when the mind wanders, it is brought back to the message. The most common mantra is the chanting of the word Om, which is commonly practiced in yoga classes. Words and phrases that are often favored for this meditation are "peace," "I am at peace," "let go" or "relax." This practice reduces stress, invokes the state of mind suggested by the mantra and helps the practitioner feel grounded.

Loving Kindness Meditation
Aptly named, this meditation is perfect for the burnt-out parent who doesn’t think they can make it through one more toddler fit or night without sleep. After a short time of focusing on breathing, the practitioner opens himself or herself to receiving love and sends messages of love and kindness to specific individuals and the global community. This practice helps reduce tension and cultivate feelings of acceptance, support and love.

Body Scan Meditation
This meditation is extremely effective at reducing stress. It is done either sitting or laying down and involves slowly scanning the body for hidden tension or stress. When you find a tensed muscle or unintended tightening in an area of your body, you concentrate on releasing it. One approach to this practice includes progressively tensing and relaxing the muscles as you move from head to toe.

Guided Meditation
During this practice, you receive guidance from a trained professional. This can be done in a class setting, with a counselor or while listening to a recorded audio file. The meditation may include music and will ask that you visualize or focus on cues given to you by your instructor. There are an array of guided meditations available depending on the result you are seeking. There are guided experiences designed to evoke relaxation and feelings of well-being or to help you achieve desired goals.

 

Meditation for Beginners

Andrea Piacquadio via Pexels

Getting Started
Time tends to be the biggest obstacle most parents fear will keep them from maintaining a regular meditation routine. But, research suggests that even 10 minutes a day makes a big difference in your stress level and your outlook on life. Follow these simple steps to starting your home meditation practice.

Step 1: The first step to starting your home practice is finding just 10 minutes of alone time a day (preferably at the same time each day). Some time opportunities to consider are first thing in the morning before the kids get up or while you are waiting for your coffee to brew. If you have a partner, have them give you a short break each day.

Step 2: Find a quiet spot where you won’t be disturbed for the duration of your practice. The bedroom or a reading nook works perfectly. Make sure you have pillows, cushions or a chair to ensure optimal relaxation.

Step 3: To remove concerns about time, set a timer that will let you know when you’ve reached your meditation goal. This will allow you to let go of that common distraction.

Step 4: Begin your practice. If you have chosen a breathing meditation, let your focus turn inward. If you have a guided meditation, begin your listening experience.

When your practice is over, slowly bring the focus back to your surroundings. Gently open your eyes and take your time getting up and moving around. Let the effects of the practice take hold.

Helpful Tips

Engin Akyurt via Unsplash

Life with kids is unpredictable; there are plenty of things that can get in the way of maintaining a regular meditation practice. The following tips will help you navigate the unexpected and commit to doing this very important exercise that is just for you.

1. While finding a quiet spot to sit or lie down for your practice is optimal, meditation can be done anywhere. Consider a five-minute meditation while waiting in the car to pick up the kids from school. Practicing while walking is another wonderful option. Put your fussy toddler in a stroller and go for a walk. Turn your attention to your breaths or the rhythms of your steps for a focal point.

2. If you feel you need some guidance, try one of these popular meditation apps. We especially like Headspace and Calm because they offer a variety of practices.

3. If you can’t fit 10 minutes in, then try for five. Consistency is key, and all efforts pay off.

It may feel selfish to take time just for you when you have little ones to look after, but remember, the healthier and happier you are, the healthier and happier your whole family will be—and that's just one of the reasons you should meditate. If finding time seems truly impossible, get your kids involved in their practice. You can let them learn along with you or check out some of the apps, games or meditation videos that are available for kids—like those on Hulu. Meditation is something everyone in your crew can do, and the result will keep your whole household feeling connected

—Annette Benedetti

 

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Your Kids’ Shoe-Tying Troubles Are Over with This Simple Trick

by Erica Loop

Once upon a time, kiddos practiced tying their shoes well before starting kindergarten. But then came Velcro. And kids swapped tying their shoes for pulling their Velcro straps. Easy. Right? Well, at some point kids need to tie their shoes. That is, unless your little one wants to head off to college in Velcro sneakers (hint: they don’t).

One five-year-old boy gained internet fame with his super-simple shoe-tying trick. If your child isn’t taking to tying like a pro, you need to check this out.

To start with, shoe-tying isn’t easy. It may seem like second nature to you. But to your child, it’s a totally foreign idea. Add in still-immature fine motor skills, and you can see how this seemingly simple activity can feel like an Olympic-level challenge to a young child.

When Ashley Lillard posted a video on Facebook of her son Colton tying his shoes, it quickly went viral. Even though there are plenty of people praising the easy-to-follow tutorial, Colton admits that it wasn’t exactly his idea. The little boy credits his friend River for coming up with the shoe-tying trick!

––Erica Loop

photo: iStock

 

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Virtual Reality-Based Therapy for Neurodivergent Individuals?

By Sam Farmer

Virtual reality-based therapy for people on the autism spectrum has arrived, and it brings with it more possibilities for growth and learning for this segment of the population. Already in use in home, clinical and school settings, VR has proven to be an effective means of teaching social, behavioral, communication and other skills at which many individuals with autism are working hard to develop. Such skills can be practiced and reinforced as often as is warranted, allowing the learner to move forward at his own pace and in his own good time. And, as is often the case with technology-assisted learning, the process is engaging and fun.

The start-up company that pioneered this concept of bringing together VR technology and therapeutic content for those with autism and related diagnoses is a company called Floreo Technologies. Vijay Ravindran, the CEO and co-founder of Floreo, has a child with autism. A few years ago when he observed how strongly virtual reality technology resonated with his child, Vijay started to contemplate how VR could be leveraged to address the challenges his child was confronting at the time, and the vision of Floreo was born.

Today, Floreo offers a growing content library of more than 175 lessons which is available to parents, teachers and clinicians who work with and care for people on the autism spectrum. Additional content will soon be released for those contending with Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD) and anxiety disorders, which often coexist with autism. Some of Floreo’s clients include the Sarah Dooley Center for Autism in Richmond, Va., the Manhattan Children’s Center in New York City, the Region 10 School Districts in Texas, the Cuyahoga County Board of Developmental Disabilities in Cleveland, Ohio and the California PsychCare behavioral health clinic in Chatsworth, Calif.

Why use virtual reality as a vehicle for the delivery of therapeutic content for individuals with autism? For starters, those who live in areas in which there are few if any clinicians experienced in working with people with autism now have access to the help they deserve as they learn and grow. The learner (an individual with autism) can work with the content in his own home under the supervision of a parent.

VR is particularly effective at helping the learner develop a skill within the context of the situation to which the skill is directly relevant. It does so by simulating real world environments in which skills can be practiced and refined until they are mastered. For example, modules that teach skills as to how to appropriately and safely interact with police take place in an animated setting that involves live, uniformed police officers who approach and talk to the learner alongside a city street.

Modules that teach social skills that are applicable to school environments involve interactions with animated kids sitting at desks or tables in a classroom with the teacher up front, schoolmates initiating conversations with the learner while walking down a hallway, hanging out by the lockers or sitting at a table in the cafeteria, etc. As the learner immerses herself in the virtual setting and interacts with the animated individuals, a supervising teacher, clinician or parent directs her through the exercise using written guidance which the VR software provides. The learner wears a headset while the supervisor works off a tablet. Both devices are synchronized to ensure that they are always working in lock step with each other.

Sensory sensitivities are prevalent among many on the autism spectrum. Accordingly, the animations and art Floreo uses in its simulated environments are simplified, allowing the learner to focus on the skill he is learning without distraction. Furthermore, each exercise is streamlined to emphasize a single objective, free of excess, keeping the exercise short, sweet and easily digestible.

If only this technology had been available to me during my formative years. Unaware of my spectrum profile (I wasn’t diagnosed until age 40) but acutely aware of my auditory processing learning disability, I could really have used the help back then. I would have immediately been drawn to virtual reality and enjoyed using it granted my passion as a young boy for all kinds of electronic gadgets, so my parents would have been spared of having to repeatedly tell me to practice the learning modules. Had I learned then from Floreo what I know now, I probably would have been spared of having to learn many of the social skills I eventually acquired the hard way, and I would have learned many of these skills sooner than I actually did.

One day growing up in New Jersey when I was haphazardly crossing a busy street on my bike, I literally came within just a few feet of being run over and probably would have had it not been for the alertness of the driver and the brakes in his car doing their job. I can’t help but wonder if this near-death experience, permanently seared into my memory cells, would have been averted if I had previously immersed myself in the Floreo learning module that teaches how to properly cross a busy street. I wonder how my social life in and outside of school may have played out differently if I had access to the social sense learning modules at the time. Would those clinical experiences of mine which fell short of expectations have had more desirable outcomes with VR technology in the mix? Without question!

It all comes down to the importance of people with autism and other neurodivergent individuals being given options as to how they can best learn and grow, and how they can access the help they may want in working to diminish or conquer particular challenges. The list of such options just got longer thanks to the advent of virtual reality and the work companies like Floreo has done in fusing this technology with skill-building content which many on the autism spectrum will find valuable.

This post originally appeared on The Hill: Changing America.
RELATED:

SAM FARMER wears many hats, among them father, husband, musician, computer consultant, autism spectrum community contributor, and author of the new book, A Long Walk Down a Winding Road: Small Steps, Challenges, & Triumphs Through an Autistic Lens, which is now available on Amazon. 

 

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New Study Shows How Therapy Dogs Impact Kids’ Social Skills

by Erica Loop

Recently published research from the University of British Columbia Okanagan campus shows that therapy dogs can help children to build social skills.

The study, which was published in the Journal of Research in Childhood Education, looked at the impact that working with therapy dogs had on 22 children from the Okanagan Boys and Girls Club over the course of six weeks. Researchers utilized therapy animals from the Building Academic Retention through K9s, or BARK program, to learn more about how the children could learn from and with the dogs.

photo: Sam Lion via Pexels

During the six-week program the children were taught new social skills, such as giving directions to other people. Each child practiced their new skill with a therapy dog—and then with the rest of the participant group. Following practice with the dogs and the other children, the participants then tried out their new skills with university students.

Dr. John-Tyler Binfet, associate professor in the School of Education and director of BARK, said of the program, “Therapy dogs are often able to reach children and facilitate their growth in surprising ways. We saw evidence of this in the social skills of children when they were paired with a therapy dog.”

Researcher and master’s student in the School of Education, Nicole Harris, said, “Findings from our observations suggested that canine-assisted social and emotional learning initiatives can provide unique advantages. Our team saw that by interacting with the therapy dogs, the children’s moods improved and their engagement in their lessons increased.”

After the program ended, Harris interviewed eight of the children. The researcher found that each child felt the social skills training program was enjoyable. The children also said the dogs were a meaningful part of the training program.

Love pets as much as we do?

Tinybeans, the app that allows you to upload and share photos and videos of your little ones with anyone you choose and no one you don’t, has teamed up with Hill's Pet Nutrition to allow users to add a pet! You can create a profile for your four-legged friend, share their photos and videos, receive milestone markers for them and see recommended articles based on your pet’s age and stage. 

Up for a challenge? Create a pet profile today, and see if you can add a new memory each day this month. Your furball will love the added attention, and you'll love the fun photos you can look back on!

––Erica Loop

 

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From Survival Mode to Thriving

By Leasa Hoogerwerf

Photo: Cody Speaks

I think back to how we got here and how great Cody is doing and it’s hard to remember the really hard times. The passage of time lessens that pain and for that I am grateful. I do remember for so long I just got up day after day putting one foot in front of the other just doing but not really understanding where we were going or if it truly will get better. Just in survival mode really.

As I sit here thinking how far we’ve all come and how we’re all still together loving each other and still learning from one another I am grateful. I used to pray every night the same prayer to simply make everything better—to simply make my son better. I was bartering with God that I would give absolutely anything to help my son money, health, my life—anything! I would scream this over and over.

Instead, I was given insight, patience, wisdom and perception of better understanding. I now know that’s what I should have been praying for all along.

I am grateful for so many things.

I am grateful I haven’t lost my mind.

I am grateful I learned how to connect with my son.

I am grateful I now know this different life can be amazing and I’m in no way saying it’s easy but whose life is easy anyway?

I guarantee every single person has that “something”—their own struggle. I count my blessings every night when I’m struggling with anything whether it’s a thought or circumstance—still I count them. If I went back in time and could have looked into my future I don’t think I would have believed how far I would come or how far Cody would come. I was sure I wouldn’t make it but I have. We all have.

Our family has been through so much in this journey and if you’re living this you completely understand. Learning how to navigate the world when things are different and learning what to be grateful for. Cody is now able to tolerate shopping and even window shopping. I remember when he was little the screaming—the tantrums—the floppy drops—the running and just how exhausting it was and how every single time we went out it was the same as the time before, never seeming to get any better.

I’m telling you it can change and it has changed. But I am also telling you it has not been by accident this has happened or by some miracle. It has simply been for the sheer fact that we have worked so very hard to achieve these things. Think of it this way: If you were never taught how to act or practiced better behavior or given the tools when you needed them where would you be? We all need tools and coping strategies and to be taught how to navigate the world and simply to be great examples. Study and learn and be that great example and figure out how best to relate to others that perceive the world differently. Try to see from a different view and maybe just maybe you’ll have a better understanding. Most of all love all no matter what differences and be grateful we can learn from one another.

 

feature image via iStock

I am a parent to a son who is diagnosed with nonverbal severe autism with ID. I share our journey on facebook Cody Speaks. Cody has come farther than we were ever told. We were told to institutionalize him he would never learn. He learns every day and speaks.

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If Your Little One Is Struggling with Anxiety

By Ali Flynn

Anxiety told this sweet girl to panic. Anxiety told this little one she couldn’t be alone in a room. Anxiety told this sweet one she had to fear, rather than be filled with joy. But you know what anxiety didn’t do?  It didn’t take over. It didn’t get the best of her. It didn’t take away her happiness.

This sweet girl took control. She didn’t allow it to strip her from her joy. She didn’t let the thoughts churning inside crush her spirit.

This little girl did the work. She learned strategies to calm her spirit when it was revving up. She practiced relaxation techniques. She took deep breaths and then some more.

This little girl did the work. And now, as a teen, she is thriving. Anxiety creeps in every now and then but she has the tools to stop it long before it attempts to take over.

When I look at her now, I see a calm surrounding her. She has arrived at a place of comfort. She has arrived at a place of peace. She has arrived at a place of confidence.

My sweet girl is a light of hope and strength.

As I look at her now, in social settings talking with confidence, not worrying about the next thing coming and laughing with a joy that deeply fills her heart, I take pause.

I pause and I smile, with tears in my eyes, knowing how blessed she is, how much work she has done and the payoff now of feeling free…

Free from the controls of anxiety.

Free.

And what a blessing for my sweet girl.

So mamas, if your little one is struggling with anxiety, know there is hope. If you are looking for some tips on how to help your little one, turn to your pediatrician or reach out to a therapist for guidance. They have the tools and answers to guide you through this journey.

This post originally appeared on Hang in there mama by Ali Flynn.

 

 

Ali Flynn Is excited to share with you the joys and hardships of motherhood with an open heart, laughter and some tears. Ali is a monthly guest contributor for Westchester County Mom  and has been seen on Filter Free Parents, Grown and Flown, Today Parents and Her View From Home.

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Make Kindness the New Varsity Sport

By Jane Plank

It seems like every parent wants their kid to play a varsity sport. Parents put such a large focus on their children’s athletic talents and gifts—you are a great swimmer, you are good dribbler, and so on. Children start activities and sports way younger now than in previous generations and we applaud our children for their focus, specialization, and commitment from an early age, convinced these pieces are the foundations for their later success. Unfortunately, many of us relegate one of the most important characteristics, kindness, to the B-Team.

Here are four ways to influence your children to be the “Varsity Captain of Kindness.”

1. Establish a Better Morning Routine.
Set yourself and your family up for success in the morning. The beginning of the day sets the tone for every family member. Mornings can often be rushed, and important details may fall through the cracks. This stress can lead to family fights, which doesn’t do anyone any favors. Instead, gather as a family in the evening and work together to prep for the next day. Not only will it be a good bonding time, but it will save everyone from a stressful morning and give everyone the space to be kinder to each other.

2. Set Daily Kindness Goals.
It’s great to set family goals. Kindness can be a family and individual goal just like playing on a sports team. You can’t make varsity unless you practice every day and it’s great to remind your children of any age to be kind during their day.

Teach children at an early age to be kind or a “good sport” to the other teammates. This will help them develop into being a good sport for the rest of their life. You can also play “Spot the Giving Moment” where you recognize the opportunity to give to other children and adults. The giving moment, when practiced over and over, becomes second nature. These moments can become magical and more easily seen if the focus is put on children to look for them daily.

3. Surround Yourself With People That Want the Same Goal.
The exciting piece of being part of a team is that all the teammates are want to win the games. Every part of the individual’s practice, whether it is stretching, doing the drill over and over or staying for private coaching etc…will greatly impact the wins or losses for the season.

The beautiful part of life is that we are not alone. We can make conscious choices daily to have people in our lives with similar approaches to and goals of kindness. You can listen and look at how they interact and see if they are a person you want on your team or are, they going to not be committed and talk badly about their teammates? Look at the people currently on your team of life and see if they are going after the same goal of kindness.

4. End Your Day on a Kindness Note.
A kindness reminder at the end of the day will help to instill this virtue in your children. Consider buying—or better yet, making—cute posters or signs with reminders to be kind. Originally creating and then focusing on this visual before drifting off to dreamland will inspire your team players to strive to be the Captain of the Varsity Kindness team.

Let’s make kindness the varsity sport in our homes. Make a daily, conscious decision to devote practice hours to be more loving and kind players in the game of life. Not only can we earn our letterman jackets, but we can also all strive to be the captain!

Plank Books is founded by Jane and Katelyn. Jane, a former childhood star of the movie The Mighty Ducks, now has the opportunity and passion to bring joy again to a new generation of children through the Giving Adventures of Sam the Squirrel and other animal friends to come.

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How to Start Making Life Happen for You

By Jess Ader-Ferretti HBIC at Shit Moms Won't Say

Something I’ve seen time and time again is this idea about life happening to you. Be patient. Success is coming. Sit still and listen. Wait your turn. You don’t have to do anything outside of being willing to accept success. Wait, wait, wait. 

I don’t just disagree with this mindset, I abhor it, and here’s why: I saw a quote recently and it said “Nobody cares about your excuses. Nobody pities you for procrastinating. Nobody is going to coddle you because you’re lazy. It’s your a$$, you move it.” Read that last part again, “It’s your a$$, you move it.” 

Now, I don’t feed into the COVID excuse. I really don’t. I think this is a time to be creative and learn how to adapt your business to a changing world. I also think it’s a time to preemptively strike on the things that will remain different until they become the same. After 9/11, the world changed. We changed how we walked through airports, our check-ins for building security became much more stringent and our overall awareness in public multiplied by the thousands. We don’t even remember what it was like before that. I don’t know the last time I was in Penn Station without a military presence. This is no different. While we will return to many things that feel normal, there will ultimately be things that never change back and, quite frankly, shouldn’t. I don’t need to share a meal with the table next to me at a restaurant. I like my space. My point is, this is a time for growth. It is not a time to make excuses.

So, how do we remain productive or even better, how do we become productive (maybe even for the first time) as our world shifts? How do we take ownership and responsibility for ourselves when the world is seemingly saying “Oprah wasn’t successful until she was in her 30’s. Wait.” Well, I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but Oprah worked her a$$ off before her wild success started. Michael Jordan may have cried after being cut from his high school basketball team, but it drove him to work harder. He practiced more. Steve Jobs was fired but didn’t wait for someone to hand him his next company. He put his big boy pants on and did the damn thing. Your life is not a meme. It cannot be summed up by the minimized paths to success that celebrities took. Let me be clear, I’m not saying we should just work, work, work. My advice is to use this changing time to figure out what feels right to you and create an action plan to make it happen. I cannot shout it louder, success will not just happen to you. You have to be an active and vigilant participant in your own life.

Because I hate when people offer advice without action, so here’s a checklist of things to do:

1. Always have a five-year plan. I don’t mean pie in the sky, I mean a logistically-driven, actionable plan. Edit that five-year plan once a year.

2. Set big goals. You can’t change your life without knowing what that looks like. Achievement comes in all different forms, true satisfaction comes from setting metrics and hitting them.

3. When you hit your goals, set more and set them bigger. Success was never driven by setting small goals. It doesn’t benefit us to goal ourselves on things we already know we can do.

4. Play on your strengths. Comfort zones can be a great thing. I know my strengths and I know my weaknesses. I use both to my advantage by doing the things I’m good at and doing them really, really well. I also know it’s important to push past my comfort zone and turn some of those weaknesses into strengths.

5. Speaking of weaknesses, choose a few. We’re only human. It’s impossible to master everything, all the time. Take a look at your weaknesses and focus on turning around the ones that most closely tied to your version of success.

6. Lastly, get to know yourself. It’s really hard to understand what you want out of life if you don’t even understand who you are. Know what makes you tick, know what makes you happy, know what you want.

I’ll leave with you this: One of my favorite things to witness on the planet is other people’s success. I love hearing goals and then seeing people crush them. There is infinite room for success in our world and, if I can help someone achieve their success, I’m all in. Life is about partnering with the right people, at the right time. Life is about asking questions and asking for help when you need it. If you read this and feel like I’m someone who can help you, reach out. I’m open. Let’s murder the mindset of life happening to us and start making life happen.

Jess Ader-Ferretti HBIC at Shit Moms Won't Say
Tinybeans Voices Contributor

Jess Ader-Ferretti is the creator and host of the growingly popoular web series, Shit Moms Won't Say. Jess is a born and rasied New Yorker who lives with her wife, Katie and their daughter, Lillie. Tune into Shit Moms Won't Say every Monday at 8PM EST on YouTube. 

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Anchoring Your Family Values

By Rebecca Murphy

I will never forget the day when my family went for a sail around the waters of Sandy Hook, NJ and we got caught in an unexpected storm.  Growing up, my parents were fortunate to have a small sailboat to take us out on little day adventures. 

On this particular day, while we were out, the wind really picked up, creating whitecaps on the water. The weather was too risky to attempt our trip home, so my parents decided to duck into a nearby cove and drop the anchor to ride out the storm. I was a super nervous sailor, so getting stuck in this surprise storm was not ideal for me. But I remember feeling safe and secure once the anchor was nestled deep into the muddy floor of the cove. Once I noticed my parents settled and calm, that was my cue to feel like I could breathe. Even though the wind was whipping around outside, I knew we would be safe because the anchor would hold strong.

An anchor is powerful, heavy, and unbreakable. Blowing wind and crashing waves may push a boat around, but the anchor is strong and unwavering, serving as a reliable source of strength for a sailor. It is what grounds the vessel, allowing it to bob in the water without drifting away. And even in certain weather, when a sailor needs to add more slack on the line to allow more leeway, the anchor’s hold maintains the sailor’s position. The anchor is quite dependable.

In life, we are constantly met and challenged with situations out of our control, especially in our role as parents! When challenges arise in your parenting, what keeps you anchored through the storm? What is connecting your family’s boat to what truly matters? Being anchored to your core values is what will help you feel confident through any patch of rough weather.

Values are the key beliefs that guide your decision making. They define how you chose to live and how you create happiness in your life. When you have clarity on what your values are, the decisions you make around discipline and family time just make sense and feel good. Having clear family values allows you to live authentically, feeling grounded and true to yourself as opposed to feeling lost and misguided. 

When your anchor of family values is set firmly on the ocean floor, it allows your family some movement without getting lost. You will feel secure as you brave the ever-changing winds of raising children. When managing the rough waters of outside influences, your anchor will hold you safe and in place. And even during those moments when you have to give more slack to the line, allowing your children some space to grow, the anchor is still there doing its job.  When your family values are clear, practiced and in place, your house rules and expectations will be more consistent, allowing your children to feel safe and secure with your parenting. Having a solid hold on your family values will even allow you to feel more comfortable with other external viewpoints without compromising yourself and who you truly are.  

Of course, there are times the anchor slips and loses its grip on the earth. The sailor’s awareness of the drifting boat allows her to recast the anchor to set it again. It is not uncommon for any of us to lose our hold sometimes, but it’s the clarity that allows us to reestablish our footing. While we’re navigating through the current storms of raising our children in 2020, allow yourself some time to check-in and be sure you are anchored in your family values. 

Here are a few questions to consider:

  1. What are the basic beliefs that help you decide what is important in life?  What are your family values?

  2. Do you and your partner value the same things?  

  3. Which values would you like to pass on to your children and what steps can you take to encourage them?

  4. How do you honor the values in your life?

  5. How can you realign yourself to be sure you are living true to your beliefs?

A boat without an anchor is forced to keep moving no matter what comes its way. The sailor does her best to navigate through the waters, trying to find a path that will keep her out of harm’s way. The same is true for a family unaligned with its core values. When your values are unclear or not practiced, it can be difficult to be consistent with decision making, disciplining, and just finding an overall direction. Stop drifting through your days. Drop the anchor and become solidified in your family values.

 

This post originally appeared on Real Life Parent Coaching Blog.

Hi! I'm Rebecca from Real Life Parent Coaching. I use my background as an educator to help parents discover & cultivate their strengths and reach their parenting potential. I live in New Jersey with my husband and two kids. I enjoy exploring, being creative & having fun with my crew!

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Parents on the First Day of (Home) School

By Andie Huber

To all the parents out there who are beginning their homeschooling journey this week, we see you, we feel you. We are you. #parentstrong

8:00: Opened the school website to get assignments.
9:00: Found where assignments were hidden on the website.
9:15: Called the school to have the website explained.
9:30: Called the school again.
9:45: Had wife call school.
10:30:  Started printing the first assignment.
10:31:  Ran out of printer ink.
10:35: Sent my wife to buy more ink while I watched YouTube to learn how to do common core.
10:39: Had first cocktail.
11:00: Googling who the idiot was that came up with common core.
11:02: Had 2nd cocktail.
11:15: Called the school to see if the virus was still an issue and if so, could I sign a waiver for my kids.
11:16: The School asked me not to call back.
11:20: Realized my wife wasn’t home yet. Called her to find out she was having a difficult time finding the right ink. Pretty sure, I heard someone in the background yell her name followed with “Venti vanilla latte!” Right before she hung up on me.
11:30: Started the first assignment.
11:45: Lunch break.
12:30: Restarted the first assignment.
12:35: Read 3 chapters to help answer 2 questions.
12:40: Figured I’m either being played or they have been falsifying my kid’s report card.
12:45: Practiced disguising my voice so I can call the school again.
1:00: It didn’t work.
1:15: Started scraping “My kid is a TERRIFIC student” sticker off of all vehicles.
2:00: Beginning to think my wife isn’t coming home.
2:15:  Decided to have an early release.
3:00: Arrested for egging school and drinking in public.
4:15: Released and given a ride home in the police car for maximum embarrassment.
6:00: Wife gets home. Couldn’t find ink. Pretty sure her hair and nails look different than this morning.
10:00:  Working on an excuse on how to get out of school tomorrow.

—Reprinted with permission from a Mom on Facebook.

A lifest‌yle writer whose work can be seen in Red Tricycle, Money.com, Livestrong.com and Redbook. When she’s not checking out new events, museums, and restaurants to keep her and her kids entertained, she can be found wandering around flea markets and thrift stores looking for cool vintage finds.

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