If you had to choose between working harder or working smarter, which would you pick? If you’re a busy, tired, hardly-sleeping parent, we’re betting smarter. There’s good news for you! “Research from my NeuroFit lab shows that short five-minute movement breaks help you stay focused and remember more,” says Dr. Jennifer Heisz, author of Move The Body, Heal The Mind. This means that even though mom-brain is very, very real, little bursts of exercise will help lift that fog. What’s more, Dr. Heisz adds, “During the first 10 minutes of movement there is an increase in oxygenated blood flow to the brain, especially to the prefrontal cortex (PFC), which governs our working memory, mental flexibility, and self-control.”
Whether it’s five minutes or thirty, giving yourself easy ways to keep active will have lasting benefits way beyond simply burning calories. We’ve tested a variety of short, simplified workouts geared at busy parents, all of them at or around just 15 minutes long. Read on to get moving.
The NeuroFix Workout
We love this one because although it is high-intensity, it requires no equipment or devices. Do it several times and you'll have a 15-minute (or so) routine you can take anywhere.
Jumping Jacks for 30 seconds
Mountain Climbers for 30 seconds
Skaters for 30 seconds
High Knees for 30 seconds
Repeat
Where to find it: Pre-order Move the Body, Heal the Mind here.
Mom on the Go offers seven, short, thematic yoga practices designed to energize your body. Follow the 28-day program for postpartum recovery including pelvic and core exercises, or just pop in and do a reinvigoration yoga session.
This fat-blasting workout plan is as effective as most longer workout sessions and combines two proven fat-loss techniques— metabolic strength and Tabata training. You'll work every muscle in your body (especially your abs!) in a fraction of the time!
Your child is having a meltdown. You have tried rationalizing, distracting, even offering treats if your child will stop crying and screaming. Your emotions are boiling and you are at your wit’s end. This is the moment when parents, desperate and defeated, often resort to yelling. Unfortunately, the yelling makes the situation worse and you walk away feeling disappointed for having yelled again.
As a parenting expert, educator, mindfulness and meditation teacher, and former elementary school teacher, I have devoted my professional life to helping families create more calm in their homes. In my personal life, as a mother of two, I have firsthand experience feeling remorseful after I have lost my cool with my own children. So if you find yourself yelling at your child, know that you are not alone in your struggle. This is an opportunity to practice self-compassion and know that starting today you can expand your parenting toolbox with these three calming tools.
Tool #1: Understand Your Brain
When you understand what is going on in your brain and your child’s brain while angry, it helps bring compassion and awareness to the situation. Let’s look at two parts of the brain—the amygdala and the prefrontal cortex.
The amygdala is almond-shaped and is in the center of the brain. It is primitive and when the amygdala is firing, you react quickly from a place of fight, flight or freeze. The prefrontal cortex is more evolved than the amygdala and it helps make decisions and problem solve. The prefrontal cortex takes a long time to develop (it will become fully developed around 25 years of age). When you have reached a breaking point you are no longer using your prefrontal cortex to make rational decisions (and neither is your child). Instead, the lower part of the brain where the amygdala lives is activated. Understanding how the brain works during a meltdown can help you appreciate the importance of pausing so that your prefrontal cortex can get back online.
Tool #2: Have a Plan to Pause
Don’t wait until the next time you are about to lose your temper. Now that you know your prefrontal cortex isn’t fully functioning when you are in the midst of a power struggle, you understand why you need a plan for pausing. When you and your child are in a calm state, sit down together and make a list of the things each of you can do the next time you are angry (one list for you and one for your child).
My list, for example, is:
1. Go in the other room and take deep breaths
2. Turn on my favorite song
3. Go on a walk around my house or in my backyard
4. Smell a flower, a piece of fruit, or an essential oil
5. Play the game rock, paper, scissors with my child
6. Lay on the floor and put a stuffed animal on my belly. Watch the stuffed animal go up and down with my breath
Notice that my list are things that calm me down, but some also invite my child to participate with me. My daughter’s list is similar but also includes playing with her dolls, blowing bubbles in the backyard and taking a bath.
Write both lists on chart paper, decorate it with your child, and hang it somewhere in your house. The next time you feel like yelling, go to your list and model this powerful tool of moving from the amygdala into a place of inner calm.
Tool #3: Reconnect & Follow Up Later
Now that you have avoided yelling and taken an opportunity to let you and your child calm down, it is time to reconnect for a moment. Reconnection includes being at eye level with your child, offering a hug and validating the feelings your child is experiencing. When your child feels connected to you, they are more likely to follow your limits and accept your rules.
After you have reconnected with your child, you can follow up and find a solution for whatever instigated the power struggle, to begin with. You will be amazed by how much more cooperative your child is once they feel connected again! As you adopt these three tools, be patient with yourself as you go. If yelling has been part of your life for a while, know that it will take time to create new healthy habits. Your number one priority is to keep your child safe when you are angry! Keep practicing these tools and your yelling will decrease day by day. For more parenting tools and to subscribe to my free weekly Calming Newsletter.
Parenting Coach & Former Elementary School Teacher Laura Linn Knight specializes in helping parents and teachers create more calm at home and in the classroom. Laura is also Certified Mindfulness Meditation Teacher, a Certified Positive Discipline Educator, and a mother of two.
The soccer team huddled around one boy’s phone, leaning in to get a closer look. The image on the screen was of a 13-year old student’s breasts. The private photo, taken months earlier, had gone viral.
Yes, unfortunately, sexting happens in middle school. To start, let’s clarify the definition of sexting.
Sexting is defined as “the action of sending sexually explicit photos, videos or messages via mobile phone or the internet.” Middle school counselors and teachers are concerned about the behavior as it is becoming increasingly common.
Youth Sexting Statistics
According to a 2017 Study by JAMA Pediatrics, 14% of youth reported sending sexts, and 27% reported receiving sexts. Also, 1 in 8 youth reports either forwarding or having a sext forwarded without their consent.
Why are middle school students sexting?
According to KidsHealth, there are various reasons kids are sexting, such as peer pressure, getting attention, flirting, or as a joke or dare. The fact that tweens and teens’ prefrontal cortex is not fully formed, the part of the brain that manages impulse control, also contributes.
What problems result from sexting?
As illustrated in the opening story, private photos are often widely shared, negatively impacting reputations and mental health. In some states, sharing illicit photos and videos is a crime. Tweens and teens may face charges and legal consequences. Sharing or having a nude photo on your phone could result in a child pornography charge. One impulsive decision can affect a student’s life for years to come.
What can parents do?
1. Regular family conversations about online behaviors build a foundation as tweens and teens navigate their lives online. Helping kids understand and avoid oversharing is an important step. Share real stories about teens that overshared online and how it impacted their life. Share stories of how colleges and employers look at social profiles before accepting or hiring students. Make sure kids understand the legal consequences of sexting.
Conversation starter: “I was watching the news and saw a story about some kids who got in trouble for sending nude pictures to friends. Did you hear about that?”
2. Regularly remind teens that nothing shared online is ever private.
Before posting anything, it’s essential for teens to consider how they would feel if a wider audience saw the image or message. (i.e. Grandma, school principal, coaches, other friends, other parents, your whole school, college admissions person). Remind them that once images are out there, they leave a digital footprint. They can’t “take it back.”
Conversation starter: “Can we talk about the types of things you and your friends share online? I want to make sure you’re taking care of yourself and looking out for your friends too.”
3. Keep the tone of conversations non-judgemental and informative.
This will help to keep the dialogue going instead of sounding like a lecture. Rather than leading the discussion, make sure you listen to your tween/teen. Discuss the pressures that teens often experience to send inappropriate photos.
Conversation starter: “Have you heard about sexting? Do you know anything about it?”
Bottom line, sexting is becoming increasingly common. Start conversations as soon as your child has a smartphone and revisit conversations regularly. Developing healthy online habits takes attention, discussion, and lots of practice. The road is full of bumps but luckily gets smoother as parents help kids navigate the potholes.
Jessica Speer is the author of BFF or NRF (Not Really Friends)? Girls Guide to Happy Friendships. Combining humor, the voices of kids, and research-based explanations, Jessica unpacks topics in ways that connect with tweens and teens. She’s the mother of two and has a Master’s Degree in Social Sciences.