ML Interest Tag: procrastinate

Here’s How I Have a Zero-Stress Holiday and So Can You

By Amber Stevens

The beautiful orange, yellow and crimson leaves and changing brisk weather is proof that fall is here. I love it and to be honest, it’s my favorite time of year. It’s a time that we are anticipating the holiday season while also looking forward to spending much needed time with our loved ones. However, though this time of year should be one of great joy and refreshing, for some, it can be a time of great anxiety and stress.

I understand that planning, cooking, shopping, decorating, entertaining, etc. can be a lot on anyone’s plate. However, I believe we can all have a great holiday season—one that we fully enjoy without having an adult tantrum. So friends, I’d like to offer some tips on how to make this holiday season your best yet.

1.  Take a deep breath. Just relax. Yes, you have a lot to do but with a little strategic planning, you will be just fine!

2. Do a little at a time. Don’t cause yourself unnecessary stress by doing it all in one lump-sum. Stretch your tasks out. This will require you plan ahead. If you procrastinate, you’ll be forced to do everything at once and that isn’t fun for anyone.

3. Get Help. I will be the first to raise my hand and admit that I often try to do things all by myself. But the holidays aren’t suppose to be a one-person production. The holidays should be a time of celebrating family, with the emphasis on family. Your loved ones will enjoy and be excited about the festivities even more if they have a part in helping out. 

4. Be thankful. If you change your mindset about your tasks, it will be much easier to do them. Instead of thinking, “Ugh, I have to go grocery shopping,” think, “I’m thankful I get to buy groceries.” Instead of dreading the crowded stores and long lines think “I’m thankful I have a family I get to give to” (or just shop online where there are no lines).

5. Give to others. Sometimes we forget that some people aren’t as fortunate as others. Some people are very lonely during this time of year. Some people are separated from family members who serve in the armed forces. Some children receive little to no love because their parents are incarcerated. How can you help? You can reach out to a local organization that helps families in need. You can write a letter to someone who serves in the armed forces thanking them for their service. You can invite a lonely neighbor over for dinner. These are just a few ideas.

I hope these tips have helped you. Even if you don’t do everything on the list, try at least one thing. Remember, have fun this holiday season. Enjoy your loved ones. Eat extra dessert. And laugh so hard you cry.    

Hi Everyone. I’m Amber. I’m a wife and mom of 2 beautiful princesses. I was born a creative and I’m learning to find creativity in every area of my life. I’m a lover of all things beautiful but I’m also drawn to the broken because there’s always room for restoration. 

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How to Maintain Balance as Mom (Minus the Mom Guilt)

By Nicole Schmitz

Balance. Mom guilt. Presence. Self-care.

I love these buzzwords that get tossed around and overused when it comes to advice and stories about motherhood. For a lot of moms, it is hard to have “balance” or make time for self-care without experiencing guilt. However, not every woman who is a parent feels this way. Some women have figured out a way to create balance and to release judgements, guilt and shame for taking care of themselves. In my experience as a mom, it comes down to implementing one basic principle that helped me to almost instantly replace feeling guilty with feeling balanced.

Many mothers would say they struggle with creating balance in their lives. They don’t have time to do the things for themselves—such as, having uninterrupted conversations—that they once had time for because they are so busy doing so much for everyone else in their home. The biggest reason for this is that when you’re responsible for the well-being, education and care of a child—or several children—you only get small pockets of time in which you are able to do ANYTHING, and prioritizing yourself may lead to guilt.

For example, when my child is at preschool or taking a nap, I realize I have a very limited window to choose what to do with that time, and for a while, it was REALLY difficult to decide. Sometimes I would procrastinate or just stand in the shower, trying not to think about anything at all (and then get mad at myself for not “getting anything done”).

Some of my options are (but not limited to): I can eat a meal and shower (self-care, check). I can do the dishes and the laundry (household requirements, check). I can get some work done (create an income for our family, check).

I could even clean the bathrooms, vacuum the kitchen floor, organize the toy bin, create a baby photo album, write thank you cards for the most recent birthday or holiday, read a book to improve my parenting skills, read a book to escape from reality, phone a friend, go for a walk, take a workout class, go grocery shopping (necessity), go to Target (part necessity, part therapy), get a pedicure, take a nap, take the car in to get fixed, call the insurance company back, call my grandmother back, get a bikini wax, listen to a podcast… or order diapers on Amazon.

Decisions, decisions…

The point is, I struggled with the ultimate Balanced Mama implementation action: prioritizing.

Ugh, how often have you heard that? “Just make yourself a priority.” Yeah, sure. I’ll get right on that, Rose. Thanks. However, let’s not take it so personally. What I found was that creating a schedule similar to that I once held while working out of the house before I became a mom was extremely beneficial in helping me “deciding” what to do with my available time (I won’t use the word “free” time here. You’re welcome).

I bought a fancy planner—gel pens and stickers can increase the enjoyment of this activity, but are not required. My personal favorites are The Day Designer and The Erin Condren Planner. I drew a box around each nap, babysitter-covered childcare window and previously agreed-upon time in which my partner and I agreed I would be out of the house while he covered the homefront.

Now, at the start of each week, I make a list of the weekly tasks I needed to accomplish (shopping, workouts), add in the variable activities (doctor visits, thank you cards), along with two to three times a week I’m doing something that makes ME better (pedicure, journaling, snuggle time on the couch). I write in exactly which days I can accomplish what and make sure that each area of my life receives equal attention. This means I can commit and be present during my self-care time and social time (limited as it may be) fully knowing that the next day’s window would be focused on my work, blog or housework.

When I trust that the not-so-fun stuff really, actually, positively would get done,and in a timely fashion, I am able to breathe and enjoy my time for myself—without the guilt. I also trust myself (gasp!) in knowing that I cannot be the present, grateful, healthy Mama I intend to be for my family when I am distracted, frustrated and resentful towards the schedule and situation I’ve created for myself.

So instead of waiting until I break down (you know what I’m talking about), I sprinkle in the self care time throughout the week, along with the other stuff. Planning ahead avoids the overwhelm and disorganization that results in Mama Meltdowns.

You know how when you’re on an airplane, in an emergency, you would put your oxygen mask on yourself before helping your little one? Caring for yourself is the same exact thing. Becoming a mother or a parent (in most cases) should not require you to lose who you are, forget your dreams, goals or activities that help to make you, you.

And why on earth, in the last few decades, has the idea taken off that running ourselves ragged and sacrificing every part of our body and day to make our kids “happier” makes us a winning parent? I’m not sure. But, we can let that go now. You’re still winning, even if you’re less-stressed and healthy. 😉 ✋

Nicole L. Schmitz, helps others to improve their energy, digestion, sleep, nutrition, weight, and health conditions with simplified, cleaner eating, and better self-care. She is a mother, aspiring yogi, writer, and artist, loves living by the beach, and inspiring others to make clear and confident healthy lifest‌yle choices every day. 

 

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Strategies for Stress-Free Travel with Kids

By Sharron Clear

Traveling with kids anytime can be overwhelming, but add in the holidays and that takes things to another level! While traveling during the busier months you need to factor in, weather delays, traffic, illness and so much more. Here are some tips that will help make traveling during the holidays (or really, any time of the year) less stressful.

Preplanning: Preplanning is essential. Research, research and research some more. Planning an itinerary for your trip can make traveling with your kids a bit easier! 

Don’t Procrastinate: It may sound obvious, but starting early is the best way to get the flights you want for less, especially during the in-demand holiday season when there is little flexibility with dates.

Be Flexible: Try to be flexible wherever you can, whether it’s with your travel dates, departure and/or arrival airport, or destination. If you’re heading home for the holidays, for example, your destination may be set in stone, but can you fly a few days early or, perhaps, on the actual holiday to save? Is it cheaper to fly into a nearby airport than the one in a major city? Considering all your options can save you money, but it can also save you the stress of holiday crowds.

Plan your Flights Around Bedtime: Try to plan your flights around bedtime. Evening flights are a bit more pricey, but it will make traveling a breeze while your child is fast asleep. If you’re in an unfamiliar airport be sure to book your connecting flight with a good amount of time. The last thing any parent needs is a mad dash through the airport with the added stress of potentially missing a flight.

Pack Lighter, Smarter, and Faster: The less you bring, the easier it is to pack, and the less you have to carry! If you find you’re missing something you need, you can always buy it at your destination. Most places you would travel with your kids will probably have the essentials you need to care for them.

Talk to your Little Ones About The Adventure: If your child is new to flying or traveling in general, it’s important to have a conversation about it. Explain to them what is going on. When they have to fasten their seatbelts make sure you tell them why. Most children enjoy flying, so the best thing to do is encourage them. 

Sharron Clear is a multifacted freelance journalist, content creator and educator with an MBA in Business adminstration & Management.  Along with her own fashion and lifest‌yle blog, Array of Faces, she's written for Top Buzz, Reddit, BAUCE, Hers Mag and plenty other fashion & lifest‌yle sites. Follow Sharron on all social platforms @arrayoffaces.

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6 Tips to Help Stop Your Teen from Procrastinating

By Tyler Jacobson

 

There are times where parenting my teens felt like all I did was keep prodding them forward. Whether it’s encouraging my daughter to get a job or pushing my son to pick up his room, I felt like my teens would never outgrow their tendency to procrastinate.

But over time—and with a good deal of trial and error—I’ve been able to help my children move away from much of their procrastinating behavior and onto being self-starters.

  1. Consider What Is Triggering Procrastination: It would have been easy for me to brush my children’s procrastination off as them just being lazy. For one thing, it takes all responsibility off of me to do anything but call judgment down on them, and it provides a clear solution—make my teens stop being lazy. But in reality, children often have complex reasons why they procrastinate. Some children are held paralyzed by fear of failure, much like my oldest boy when it came time to tackle his major research paper for his English class. The project counted for 30% of his overall grade and English had never been his strongest subject. Luckily, his teacher held quick conferences with each student and notified me when it turned out that my son hadn’t gotten beyond choosing his research topic. By remaining calm and talking to my son about why he hadn’t started, I was able to understand that his procrastination had nothing to do with laziness and everything with fear of failing and potentially needing to go to summer school.
  2. Demonstrate How To Make Tasks Manageable: Procrastination can also be triggered by children feeling overwhelmed by the task at hand. In our home, Saturday mornings are usually spent tidying the house up after a long week. But while my other children managed to corral their rooms into order, my youngest daughter was crying in the middle of her messy room. She had had a full week of school performance and a small party with her friends to celebrate the end of their play. The result was that her room was a bigger mess than she knew how to deal with on her own. So, after an hour, there were only a few toys pushed around until she became discouraged. Instead of leaving her there and just telling her to hurry up and clean, I sat with her on the floor and helped her break down the task into manageable portions, from picking up all the clothes first, next the toys, and then making the bed. By helping my children see tasks as many manageable parts, rather than an insurmountable mountain, they are less likely to put off a task that seems too hard.
  3. Provide Time Management Techniques: Time management is a tough skill for many adults to master. But once a teen has the techniques they need to properly manage what needs to be done, they are far less likely to procrastinate. Some of the things I taught my son as he approached his English paper were:

  • Create an outline of dates when things are due like your outline, research bibliography, first draft, peer review, and final draft.

  • Once you see how many days are between each step, set aside time each day to get a bit more of the work done.

  • Talk to either mom or dad if you aren’t sure you have enough time laid out.

  • Do the English work first, then go on to other homework assignments.

Providing my oldest son with these management techniques especially helped, as he suffers from several behavioral disorders and greater structure helps teens struggling with these disorders.

  1. Help Your Teen Problem-Solve: A lack of problem-solving skills can be another thing that causes teens to procrastinate. Since I don’t want my children to become stalled by every challenge, I’ve worked to help them to develop strong problem-solving skills. My oldest son knew the basics of problem-solving when he had become stalled by his major paper, but he had allowed his fear to make him believe that the simple techniques wouldn’t work. So, I made it a point to walk him through the basics of problem-solving again:

  • Pinpoint the issue that is holding you back.

  • Start brainstorming solutions. Even if they sound dumb at first, the process can help kick out a real solution.

  • Choose the best solution from your brainstorming session.

  • Carry out the solution. If it doesn’t quite work, choose the next best solution.

With problem-solving steps broken down into manageable chunks, it is far easier to think clearly and tackle an issue that was previously a major roadblock.

  1. Reinforce Teens With Positivity: Providing my teens with positive reinforcement can be difficult at times, especially when all I want to do is ask why they can’t just get off their behinds and take care of their responsibilities. But, taking this negative attitude with children can lead to resentment, added stress, anxiety, and other mental health issues. Instead, to help build up my children, I opt for positive reinforcement. I am a firm believer that children—and people in general—respond best to positivity and will make lasting changes with the right support. So, while a snide comment about laziness may get my oldest daughter off the couch and off to do the dishes, finding a positive frame like, “Thanks for staying on top of the dishes most of the week. Do you mind wrapping up the stuff currently in the sink?” is a better option.
  2. Model Self-Starting Behavior: Lastly, I had to model this kind of go-getter, problem-solving behavior for my children. As I am self-employed, I usually am a self-starter, but I’ve had to step up my game a bit more when it comes to things like picking up my office and managing my own tasks around the house. Since I know that my children are unlikely to listen to anything I say about procrastination if I’m a procrastinator myself, I have done my best to continually model what I expect from them.

Now, I’m not saying my children became perfect. But, with the structure in place to help them succeed, all they need now are gentle reminders instead of the lengthy lectures and reminders that used to be required to get them moving on what they need to do.

 

Tyler Jacobson is a happy husband, father of three, writer and outreach specialist with experience with organizations that help troubled teens and parents. His areas of focus include: parenting, social media, addiction, mental illness, and issues facing teenagers today.

 
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9 Effortless Ways to Make Unforgettable Family Travel Memories

By Meighan Sembrano

One of the best ways to bond with your family and create memories is to travel. You get to see new places, meet new cultures, learn about different people and spend quality time with your loved ones.

As much as we love to travel when you’re taking your family with you, it can be quite hectic. To avoid stress and spend your time at some destination with your family carefree and feeling happy,  here are nine useful tips that will help you have an unforgettable time on family trips.

1. Choose a destination everyone will love.

To make beautiful memories, everyone should be happy with travel destination, a place where you will spend your vacation should be something that entire family agrees on. The best way to do it is to sit down and talk to your family.

Each member should recommend a place, and then you can choose travel destination by voting. The best thing to do is to write different places on small pieces of paper, put papers into a hat or a bowl and someone should take one paper out of the bowl.

Remember, family vacation means that entire family should be involved in decision-making process.

2. Plan thoroughly.

Let’s face it; when you travel alone, you get to be spontaneous and “go with the flow.” However, when you move with your family, you have to make sure you plan everything thoroughly.

Besides making necessary travel arrangements, it is important to bear in mind that planning everything in last minute doesn’t guarantee an excellent time for your family. Why? It’s because when you procrastinate and leave travel planning until last minute, you get stressed out when you see how much work you have to do.

Of course, there are also those timeswhen you forget something important and the entire family remembers all those arguments and bickering during travel. Therefore, start planning your vacation weeks or even months before you set off.

3. Search for cheap flights.
Instead of opening the first website you see and book flight tickets, you should spend a decent amount of time researching and finding affordable tickets. Some sites like Skyscanner offer cheap tickets as well as travel information where you can learn more about that place, when is the right time to go there and other useful things that will make your trip more comfortable.

To book tickets and save money, you should check prices on different websites and compare. Plus, booking tickets several weeks or months ahead is cheaper than booking them only a few days ahead.

4. Look for a comfortable place to stay.

Here’s another reason traveling alone is different from traveling with family; when you’re going solo, you can sleep just about anywhere, in motels, hostels, etc. But, when your family is with you, the best way to have fun and make great memories is to look for a comfortable hotel or any place that will be your home away from home.

If you’re not a fan of hotels and consider them impractical for traveling with family, you can always opt for renting an apartment: it’s a cheaper and more practical option.

5. Eat like the locals!

Let’s say you and your family are traveling abroad. While the first thing you think of is to stay healthy while traveling and so, look for McDonalds or Subway and eat there, the best thing to do is to eat in restaurants where local food is served. This way, both you and your family will get to learn more about different cultures and food is an important part of that culture.

It’s important to enrich your body and mind by sinking in cultural influences from different parts of the world. Therefore, while you’re in another country, you should do the same. At the same time, you’re setting a great example for your kids who will appreciate all wonderful memories of your trip.

6. Walk, walk, walk—wherever you go.

Walking lets, you explore, blend in with locals, and see more things than sitting on a bus or in a taxi. It is needless to say that walking is healthy and is a recommended physical activity. Besides being the most practical and healthiest option, walking is also cost-effective.

To avoid wandering (or getting lost!), you should come up with a detailed plan for all things you will see. For this, you will need to do a lot of research. Write down different places and locations to come up with a plan; what to see first, what to look after or where to eat..

7. Bring toys and games.

If you have small kids, the best thing to keep them occupied is to bring different toys and games, particularly when you’re on plane or train. For example, you can purchase little backpacks for each child and let them pick their toys and games. There has to be a rule; they have to use and carry in their little backpack toy or game they pick.

8. Interact with locals.

Even when you are with your family interacting with locals is always recommended. You can ask them for recommendations about different restaurants, and if you’re traveling to some non-English speaking country, you can use this opportunity to practice your language skills.

9. Pack light.

Traveling with family means you will go from place to place, and packing carefully can help you avoid stress. Ideally, you should pack essentials only. Why? The more you pack, the more you will have to worry about during your trip.

The vision of ideal vacation doesn’t include stressing out with packing and hurrying to pack everything as soon as possible.

Traveling with family doesn’t always have to be stressful, hectic and frustrating. With these tips, you can make memories with your kids and enjoy precious moments spent together.

Featured Photo Courtesy: London Scout/Unsplash

I am a health enthusiast and a passionate writer. My primary expertise is in beauty and skin care but I have also published articles on health, wellness and fitness. My sincerity and thoughtfulness resonate with readers and my enthusiasm is contagious. 

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Nursery Decorating Ideas That Will Make Your Heart Flutter

by Phebe Wahl

What better way to procrastinate putting that pesky crib together than to surf the web for decorating ideas? From hand-painted ceilings to DIY decor, there are lots of things you can do with a baby’s room. We rounded up the coolest nurseries from coast to coast. Flip through our photo gallery and imagine re-creating them for your own wee one.

Play With Patterns

As the power couple behind breathtakingly beautiful bridal blog Green Wedding Shoes, it was a given that Jen and Jason Campbell would have an awesome nursery for their daughter Sienna. The Los Angeles-based pair worked with their contacts at Serena & Lily and the Land of Nod to outfit the space, and personalized it with baby animal photos by Sharon Montrose. We love the contrast of the juxtaposing patterns on wall decals by MUR and rug by Serena & Lily.

Photo courtesy of Green Wedding Shoes

How are you decorating your nursery? Chat about your baby’s crib below!

— Phebe Wahl

Click HERE for more baby room decorating ideas all things baby related.

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