This year, around 175 million Americans will celebrate Halloween. On a Tuesday. As a parent of two children, I can tell you that a weekday Halloween is very tough for families with young kids. As a CEO in the celebrations industry, I can also tell you that when October 31 falls on a weeknight, fewer people celebrate the holiday.

Sometimes I like to ask obvious questions and challenge the way things are done. When people say, “That’s the way we’ve always done it,” I perk up and question their assumptions. I want to know “Is there a better way?” and “Will more people be served with a different solution?”

When it comes to Halloween, I believe there is a better way. The time is long overdue for a cultural change that will benefit society: the official observance of Halloween should be on the last Saturday of October.

Why does Halloween have to be on the 31st of every year? There are many other holidays that aren’t tied to a specific date. Thanksgiving is always the fourth Thursday in November. The same is true for Memorial Day (the last Monday in May) and Labor Day (the first Monday in September).

Related: Let the Teens Trick-or-Treat

Halloween is mostly a kids’ and family holiday, and it should fall on a day that is best for kids and families! Not convinced about #SaturdayHalloween? Here are five reasons Halloween should be observed on the last Saturday of October.

It’s healthier for kids (and parents)

Halloween is arguably the most kid-focused holiday of the entire year, and we observe it on a school night eight out of every 10 years. Who wants to get home from work, stress about dinner, try to wrangle kids into costumes, and then be out trick-or-treating way past normal bedtime? It’s all too chaotic for most families.

The next day is a mess, too. Kids wake up the next morning overtired, and parents drag themselves to work. When Halloween is observed on a Saturday, not only will it be better for kids, but it will also be better for the sanity of parents.

It’s better for schools and teachers

When October 31 falls on a Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, or Thursday, students lose not just one, but two days of productivity. Halloween itself is full of distractions, but the next day is even more challenging.

Teachers have to manage a classroom of kids who have been out all night trick-or-treating and eating candy for lunch. The combination of lack of sleep and dealing with sugar-infused children is difficult. Halloween on a Saturday solves all of this. Plus, schools can schedule their Halloween parades and events on a Friday afternoon, which will help teachers better manage their class schedules. Saturday Halloween is the right thing to do for schools and teachers.

It’s safer

Halloween is a family holiday. Its most important cultural ritual is trick-or-treating. In my own neighborhood in Massachusetts, hundreds of families flock to the most popular streets downtown that are full of cars returning home from work.

If we observe Halloween on a Saturday, trick-or-treating could begin earlier in the evening before nightfall. Local authorities could block roads to protect the busiest neighborhoods. Accidents and fatalities would be reduced. It’s time we reduce possible danger and celebrate Halloween on a Saturday.

Families can celebrate together

The majority of parents work outside the home, and a weekday Halloween makes it difficult for families to celebrate together. A weekend holiday would suit working families and enable celebrations for the whole family. Extended family could gather as they do for other major holidays, and special memories can be made.

At Punchbowl, we have the data: there are more Halloween parties on Saturday than on any other day of the week. Let’s enable even more get-togethers and family celebrations on this important, memorable holiday.

Related: Halloween Brings Us Together Like No Other Holiday Can

It benefits the economy

When Halloween falls on a Saturday, it generates more revenue for the economy than weekday Halloweens. More costumes are purchased, more parties are planned, and more food and beverages are consumed. This means more jobs and higher wages, too.

Party City reported $22 million less in sales when comparing 2016 (a Saturday Halloween) to 2017 (a Monday Halloween). The impact extends to local businesses as well. If we move the official observance of Halloween to the last Saturday of October, it would not only bolster local business, but it would also provide predictability from year to year.

There are many more reasons that Halloween should be moved to the last Saturday in October and very few we should continue the old tradition of October 31. The time has come to move our national celebration of Halloween.

This post originally appeared on MattDouglas.com.

I’m an entrepreneur, investor and startup advisor with 20+ years of experience in product management, marketing and software development. Currently, I’m the founder and CEO of Punchbowl.com.

Photo: Kristin Van de Water

There’s a lie I tell myself that goes something like this: Resting is lazy. Taking a break is for the weak. Stay-at-home moms love motherhood, so we don’t need time off.

Thanks to this lie, I feel guilty for taking even a moment to pause. Hence, I immediately clear my empty lunch plate instead of lingering over the rest of a magazine article. I quickly set down my phone when the kids come over or start doing sit-ups when my husband walks in on my nap. I snap out of a daydream and instead plan out meals for the week. After all, down time isn’t compatible with my lie.

And yet, I know that making time for regular rest is an essential rhythm for a joyful, sustainable life.

Therefore, I’ve been experimenting recently with what it could look like to keep a weekly sabbath—a day off from work (including the unpaid kind that defines life as a mom of four young kids). I realize full well that parents can’t just take 24 hours off from mom and dad duties. But there is definitely room for experimenting, especially if spouses give each other time to recharge individually and families look for ways to delight together. (Froyo Fridays, anyone?)

A friend suggested how to start. Take an inventory of what you spend most of your days doing. Now translate that into a visual of a nondescript skyline. (Imagine endless skyscrapers representing laundry, rows of apartment buildings that are repeated trips to the playground, towers of dishes, etc.) Now picture the steeple of a beautiful cathedral jutting out and up from that sea of ordinary structures. That’s what a sabbath should look like—a delightfully different day that invites you to turn your eyes upward and gives you space to find joy as you pray and play.

I took a month to experiment with how a sabbath might look in real life.

That first week, true rest meant time away from my children. So that Thursday (a rare day when the kids had in-person learning), I dug my ice skates out of our basement storage bin and spent a lovely morning people watching as I spun around the Bryant Park rink. Fresh air and exercise mingled with fond memories of the park—movie night picnics, poetry field trips, library visits. This change of scenery and solitude amidst the masses of New Yorkers brought abundant joy.

The second week I spent a Sunday worshipping with my church community via livestream, sledding, video chatting with Grandma, baking zucchini bread, puzzling, and watching the Super Bowl. All in all, a pretty awesome day. But then 10 p.m. rolled around, and I scrambled to craft and send my weekly class parent email. Note to self: Next time, draft it during the week so I can just hit send on Sunday. Planning ahead can make a full day of rest more feasible.

The following Sunday it dawned on me that sabbath could appear different from week to week based on what the days around it entailed. For instance, after a week of skiing in Utah, I craved a day off of the slopes to sleep in, rest my muscles, and leisurely pack up six sets of ski gear. However, if that Sunday had instead followed a regular week of school and playground routines, then a day of skiing with extended family could have served as a refreshing sabbath.

Last Saturday I woke up at 10 a.m. (a first since birthing my twins 8 years ago) and proceeded to spend the day in recuperation mode. It was glorious. I could tell that the scheduling and logistics part of my mommy brain just needed a day off, so I planned absolutely nothing. Presence trumped productivity.

I listened to an entire sermon podcast on the elliptical machine without interruption. We launched a baking soda and Coke rocket, the ingredients for which had been sitting on the counter since Christmas. I sat down mid-day to read by the fire, which caught my daughter’s attention: “Do we really have nothing planned?” she asked in amazement. “That’s right. You can play ALL day.” It wasn’t until I climbed into bed that night that I realized I had just experienced an unintentional day of true rest. I assumed my day off would happen on Sunday, but Saturday worked incredibly well. Sure, my housework piled up, but it could wait.

Because I allowed myself a lazy Saturday, free from the guilt I would typically feel from ignoring my to-do list, I had the mental and physical capacity to jump back into my job as a homemaker on Monday. I set aside the day to eliminate eyesores around the condo—everything from crammed bookshelves and deserted crafts to mangled headphone cords and sticky floors. Like Superwoman donning her cape, I threw on my workout clothes. But instead of heading to the exercise room as usual, I tackled closets, end tables, and counter space with determination.

I filled a bag with old dollar store puzzles and dress-up clothes to donate, making room for current favorites. We sifted through magnets, photos, and artwork gathered from my in-law’s house after they passed away. I mended a ripped mask and finally read the kids’ report cards. We cleaned out the catch-all bins in our entryway that had remnants of summer lawn games mixed with single gloves and dried out wet-wipes.

The surprise weekend sabbath followed by an uber-productive Monday felt so satisfying, I’m adopting this as a regular practice. The interplay between work and sabbath seems refreshingly sustainable. I can greet my household tasks with gusto as the week drags on when I know that doing so will pave the way for me to celebrate sabbath come the weekend.

Going forward, I hope to replace my striving for constant productivity with a new truth: my work will remain incomplete, but that doesn’t mean I’ve failed as a mother. In fact, it means I’m learning to live a more purposeful life.

Kristin Van de Water
Tinybeans Voices Contributor

Kristin Van de Water is a former journalist and teacher who relies on humor, faith, and her mom crew to get her through the day. Raising four kids in a two-bedroom NYC apartment, Kristin is always on the lookout for life hacks to save time, space, money, and her sanity.

Having a child is the best and hardest thing in the world. When you double down (literally) on your parenting skills with a second child, you quickly realize that having two children is the best and hardest thing in the world…times two. Adding another little to your brood means not only having a whole new human to get to know, it also means lots of lessons coming your way. Here are 11 things every mom is sure to learn the second time around the mama-hood.

Christy Blevins

1. No two babies are alike.
When you’re a mom of one, it’s easy to assume every baby is pretty much the same. And, in a sense, it's true. They eat. They sleep. They smile. They cry. But any mom who has experienced a second baby knows that while what they do is the same, how they do it can be wildly different. One baby loves to be swaddled; another prefers arms out. One baby likes a pacifier; another is team thumb. These kinds of nuances in preferences and personalities are what make each baby a totally new adventure. (Note: They may be different on the inside, but on the outside, matching outfits for the win!)

2. Your sanity is worth every penny it will cost to buy double.
Sure, sharing is important—and as a mom of two, you want to instill those life skills…eventually. But for the first few years, it’s better to buy two of every toy, bowl or cup in the exact same color to avoid ending up with a ROY G. BIV-induced toddler meltdown every. single. day.

Haley Ross

3. Energy-saving mode is a thing.
When you’re a mom of one, you have a whole bunch of extra energy to devote to things like battling a toddler over dressing themselves and wearing a ballerina outfit to the grocery store. When you are toting two, your now-more-relaxed self says, “Go ‘head! Rock that, tutu, girl!”

4. The eyes have it.
When you have two little ones heading in a different direction, you quickly realize that popping out a second kid should automatically mean you’re gifted with pigeon-like vision, because, girl, you are going to need eyes in the back of your head to catch all the shenanigans. You won’t be able to stop every fall or prevent every mess, but as a mom of two, you know that staying alert is your first defense against total chaos.

Maddy Riddell

5. Babywearing isn’t just a cool party trick (Look, Ma, no hands!).
Once you’re outnumbered two to one, carrying baby hands-free isn’t a bonus convenience that frees you up to double-fist your coffee, er, be more productive. It’s a basic necessity that allows you to hold baby close while making lunch for a hungry toddler, wiping a bum, or hiking up a mountain. Check out the latest and greatest baby carriers.

6. Life with one kid was easier than you realized.
When you had just one baby, you swore you had no downtime and meant it! But now you realize those precious naptime hours with one were the stuff (sleepy mom) dreams were made of. For solidarity's sake, this one is meant to be experienced, not shared. So, please, mums the word to mums with one baby!

Binxy Baby

7. Being a baby-stuff snob is a must.
With two kids in tow, having the right gear is essential. For example, when you have one baby and go grocery shopping, plopping the car seat into the cart or even schlepping baby through the store on one arm works fine, but with double the fun, you’ve gotta up your gear game. (Like with the nifty Binxy Baby grocery cart hammock!) At the same time, some gear is non-essential (wipes warmer, we’re looking at you!), so you've got to draw the line before you run out of room.

8. Two kids are twice as nice loud.
Remember those sweet moments during the day when baby #1 was peacefully napping? Welp, unless you’re one of the .001% of parents to have children who nap in tandem, you can say so long to mid-day silence. But that doesn’t mean peace and quiet are gone forever; you may just have a little extra company and cuddles during your afternoon cup of coffee.

Dianne Booker

9. Mom of two=superwoman.
Being a mama to two little humans has tough moments—juggling schedules and emotions (theirs and yours), for starters—not to mention when you're actually juggling both kids, one under each arm or balancing them both on your lap. You’re basically a champion multitasker and queen of productivity now, or a fun circus act. But it’s precisely those moments that show you just how strong you are. 

S. Palmer

10. There's no sweeter sight in the world than watching your children love each other. 
Seeing your kiddos interact in a loving way (whether it's a game of giggles or a sincere hug) is the fuel that feeds a mama's heart. Suddenly, having to referee the occasional squabble doesn't seem so bad. There's no better reward to being a mom of two than watching your children's sibling bond blossom into friendship.

11. You’re an old-pro, and a newbie, too.
Sure, you were already in a routine of feeding, changing diapers and doing bedtime, but a new baby—with his/her own needs and wants—entering the scene means starting over. Siblings need the same things: their basic needs met and love tanks filled. But they don’t always need them done at the same time or in the same way. It's the oldest, most important job in the world that teaches you something new every day.

Suzanna Logan

featured photo: iStock

More and more jobs have gone remote since the pandemic started. Right now the remote job marketplace is extremely competitive so knowing which soft skills are crucial for success in the top remote career categories will help put job seekers in the best position possible. FlexJobs, the leader in remote jobs, and PAIRIN, a leader in soft skill development, has teamed together to identify the top 10 career categories offering the most remote jobs in 2020 and the skills job seekers need to succeed in these emerging remote careers.

remote work

“Remote job seekers face a very competitive job market right now, as remote jobs have become even more desirable in the current pandemic environment, and there are certainly more opportunities in some career categories versus others,” said Sara Sutton, founder and CEO of FlexJobs. “To help job seekers land a coveted remote job, FlexJobs is proud to partner with PAIRIN to not only identify where those jobs are available, but also help candidates understand the specific soft skills that are needed for them to stand out and succeed in those careers,” Sutton concluded.

Dr. Dan Hawthorne, director of I/O psychology and head of research at PAIRIN, conducted the research and analysis to identify the critical skills for each career category. “The COVID-19 pandemic forced many companies to break down pre-existing barriers to quickly adapt and move their workforces to remote work,” said Dr. Hawthorne. “Now that these organizations have the structure in place to support remote workers, it is expected that many will continue to offer remote working opportunities for the long-term. This, in turn, presents a bright outlook for remote work in the future,” Dr. Hawthorne added.

A “remote job” is defined as a professional-level job that allows the worker to work from home either entirely or part of the time. The ten career categories identified had job listings for the most remote jobs in the FlexJobs database from Mar. 1, 2020 through Nov. 30, 2020.  Included under each career category are the five most important soft skills, as identified through PAIRIN’s personalized, science-based research, that professionals need in order to thrive in that respective career. 

Computer & IT 

  • Creativity – The desire to think, do, and express in ways that are different from the norm. This includes personal elaborations or variations on known or existing techniques.
  • Originality – The ability to invent or independently conceive of ideas, methods, or products of the first order (underived), regardless of their usefulness.
  • Objective-Analytical – The emphasis of logic and fact-based evaluating over feelings, suggesting clarity, thoroughness, and productivity. 
  • Problem Solving – To discover, analyze, and solve a range of unfamiliar problems in both conventional and creative ways.
  • Critical Thinking – To gather and objectively assess key information as a guide to belief or action. An intellectual process that uses analysis, conceptualization, synthesis, and evaluation.

 Medical & Health 

  • Service Orientation – The ability to anticipate, identify, and meet people’s often unspoken needs through assistance, products, or services. The drive to generate customer satisfaction and loyalty.
  • Supportiveness – The drive to assist, protect, and provide for others in emotional or physical need.
  • Social Awareness – To relate and respond to the feelings, needs, and concerns of individuals or broader societal groups. (Includes: Empathy, Organizational Awareness, and Service Orientation).
  • Accountability – To be answerable. To take responsibility for outcomes through appropriate use of resources, personal integrity, and self-monitoring.
  • Compliance – Global tendencies to maintain self-discipline and conform to another’s plan, rules, will, or direction.

 Project Management

  • Relationship Management – To use awareness of one’s own emotions and those of others to navigate interactions successfully. (Includes: Inspiration, Influence, Enriching Others, Cooperation, Change, and Conflict Management). 
  • Collaboration & Teamwork – To combine efforts and resources with others toward a common goal. To work effectively and respectfully with diverse teams.
  • Dynamism – Global tendencies to generate results through intentional, resourceful, energetic mindsets and behaviors.
  • Productivity – To set and meet goals, even in the face of obstacles and competing pressures. To prioritize, plan, and manage work to achieve the intended results.
  • Stress Tolerance – To endure pressure or uncertainty without becoming negative (e.g. hopeless, bitter, or hostile) toward self or others.

Sales

  • Influential Leadership – The ability to positively persuade others’ choices by focusing on what is important to them and building consensus. 
  • Conflict Management – The ability to effectively negotiate and resolve disagreements.
  • Social Awareness – To relate and respond to the feelings, needs, and concerns of individuals or broader societal groups. (Includes: Empathy, Organizational Awareness, and Service Orientation). 
  • Service Orientation – The ability to anticipate, identify, and meet people’s often unspoken needs through assistance, products, or services. The drive to generate customer satisfaction and loyalty.
  • Assertiveness – Global tendencies to express and interact with boldness, enthusiasm, and confidence.

Accounting & Finance 

  • Social Awareness – To relate and respond to the feelings, needs, and concerns of individuals or broader societal groups. (Includes: Empathy, Organizational Awareness, and Service Orientation). 
  • Compliance – Global tendencies to maintain self-discipline and conform to another’s plan, rules, will, or direction.
  • Relationship – The drive to draw close and remain loyal to another person or people—to truly connect and enjoyably engage with them.
  • Conflict Management – The ability to effectively negotiate and resolve disagreements.
  • Critical Thinking – To gather and objectively assess key information as a guide to belief or action. An intellectual process that uses analysis, conceptualization, synthesis, and evaluation.

Customer Service 

  • Supportiveness – The drive to assist, protect and provide for others in emotional or physical need.
  • Service Orientation – The ability to anticipate, identify and meet people’s often unspoken needs through assistance, products or services. The drive to generate customer satisfaction and loyalty.
  • Conflict Management – The ability to effectively negotiate and resolve disagreements.
  • Stress Tolerance – To endure pressure and uncertainty without becoming negative (e.g. hopeless, bitter or hostile) toward self or others.
  • Assertiveness – Global tendencies to express and interact with boldness, enthusiasm and confidence.

Marketing

  • Flamboyance – The drive to impress or excite-to stir others through words or actions.
  • Influential Leadership – The ability to positively persuade others’ choices by focusing on what is important to them and building consensus.
  • Assertiveness – Global tendencies to express and interact with boldness, enthusiasm and confidence.
  • Inspirational Leadership – The ability to uplift, enliven, fill and empower people with a compelling vision.
  • Relationship – The drive to draw close and remain loyal to another person or people—to truly connect and enjoyably engage with them.

Education & Training 

  • Cooperative-Practical – The moderation of reason and feeling resulting in calm, commonsense thinking – upbeat, attentive and realistic.
  • Creativity – The desire to think, do, and express in ways that are different from the norm. This includes personal elaborations or variations on known or existing techniques.
  • Social Awareness – To relate and respond to the feelings, needs and concerns of individuals or broader societal groups. (Includes: Empathy, Organizational Awareness and Service Orientation)
  • Originality – The ability to invent or independently conceive of ideas, methods, or products of the first order (underived), regardless of their usefulness.
  • Perspective – The ability to understand broadly, to coordinate knowledge and experience, and to provide clear-sighted and meaningful counsel to others. An aspect of wisdom.

Business Development

  • Relationship – The drive to draw close and remain loyal to another person or people—to truly connect and enjoyably engage with them.
  • Cooperative-Practical – The moderation of reason and feeling resulting in calm, commonsense thinking – upbeat, attentive and realistic.
  • Enriching Others – Perceiving and reacting to others with acceptance and respect while supporting their development toward full potential.
  • Self Assessment – To engage in self-reflection so as to determine strengths and limitations in one’s values, abilities and resources. 
  • Critical Thinking – To gather and objectively assess key information as a guide to belief or action. An intellectual process that uses analysis, conceptualization, synthesis and evaluation.

Administrative 

  • Service Orientation – The ability to anticipate, identify and meet people’s often unspoken needs through assistance products or services. The drive to generate customer satisfaction and loyalty.
  • Supportiveness – The drive to assist, protect and provide for others in emotional or physical need.
  • Flamboyance – The drive to impress or excite-to stir others through words or actions.
  • Relationship – The drive to draw close and remain loyal to another person or people—to truly connect and enjoyably engage with them.
  • Stress Tolerance – To endure pressure and uncertainty without becoming negative (e.g. hopeless, bitter or hostile) toward self or others.

For more information you can visit https://www.flexjobs.com/blog/post/top-categories-soft-skills-remote-jobs/ and https://www.pairin.com/the-ideal-skills-for-the-top-10-remote-jobs-of-2021/.

—Jennifer Swartvagher

Featured photo: Jonathan Kemper on Unsplash

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Photo: Caitlyn Viviano

I used to love being busy! I would consistently overschedule myself starting as a young teen. From the moment I opened my eyes to the minute I crawled into bed I was working, going to school, volunteering, socializing, or a combination of all of the above. My “to-do” lists were long and my energy was high.

Then I left my job to be a stay at home mom and my life took a sharp turn. My first child never slept, had colic, and needed to be held or bounced around the clock. My days blurred into nights and there was no end in sight. For two years I was stuck in a thick fog that I couldn’t seem to crawl out of. This was not the picture-perfect stay at home mom gig I had always dreamed of. I was constantly busy but never felt productive, and lacked confidence in my ability as a new mom. My mind was constantly busy with worry and postpartum anxiety crept in to steal my joy. I was barely treading water. Then my daughter was diagnosed with Autism two months after her 2nd birthday and all our constant struggles started to make sense. It wasn’t supposed to be this hard 24/7.

I felt robbed of that “new motherhood bliss” I kept hearing and reading about. It was a pain that ran deep and infiltrated every aspect of my life. My marriage was strained, I didn’t want to leave the house, my career was nonexistent because there was no extra money for childcare, and every ounce of energy I had went to helping Chloe. Then I was blessed with my son Daniel, and he healed me in ways I never knew possible. He ate, he slept, he smiled and happily babbled. I felt like I could breathe again and feel joy the second time around. He taught me I was stronger than I knew, and autism wouldn’t break me but rather shape me. Chloe began to make great progress thanks to early intervention and an amazing team of teachers and therapists. I am eternally grateful for the help and resources we received. We wouldn’t be where we are today without them.

Fast forward and I now have three children. My son Levi was born last year and completed our family of five. He brings so much laughter and happiness to our lives and keeps us on our toes. Our house is always messy. If you walked in the front door on any given weekday you would see toys, puzzles, and legos scattered everywhere with a few dog toys mixed in. There would be laughter, singing, running, and a whole lot of chaos. We are home 90% of the time. Some days seem very mundane and I long for those productive workdays I once had. I am still always busy, but never seem to accomplish much either. Some days being productive means doing three loads of laundry, pumping, washing dishes, and doing an art project with the kids. While other days I can’t seem to come up for air or even brush my hair.

When my anxiety is high I decided to get down on the floor and play with my kids and remember how important this work at home truly is. The mess can wait. Making memories and snuggling them when I can comes first.

One day my “busy” will change again I will look back longingly on this chapter and give anything to go back in time. That’s the funny thing about motherhood, our kids keep us eternally busy, and exhausted yet so many of us feel invisible, lacking purpose and unappreciated. The world tells us we must do it all and exude bliss. Yet at the end of the day, it’s healthy to express our feelings, whatever they may be at that moment. We are human. We shouldn’t feel ashamed if we don’t feel positive emotions daily.

Our feelings are valid and should be heard. Raising tiny humans is hard! It’s okay to be a stay-at-home mom and miss the busyness and productivity of the workforce. It’s okay to be a working mom and miss the quiet morning snuggles and afternoons at the park. It’s okay to want more just as it’s fine to want less busyness. No one can tell you how to feel on this rollercoaster that is motherhood. Seasons change, children grow up, and our feelings evolve with the times. Ultimately finding others who understand the array of feelings many moms and caretakers go through made all the difference. It helped me feel less alone in this simply complicated life of ours.

Caitlyn is a military spouse and mom to three children and one fur baby. She was an elementary school counselor before becoming a stay at home who enjoys coffee, hiking, and playing in the dirt with her kids. 

Photo: Tara Williams

Just six short months ago it was unfathomable that we would be working from home while trying to juggle distance learning and taking care of babies. The reality of COVID-19 sticking around a lot longer than we thought is starting to set in for most people. I remember my naive, mid-March self thinking; by May 1st kids will be back in school and all will be right again in the world.

Prior to the global pandemic, I was a full-time mom and the sole full-time employee at Dreamland Baby. I was juggling four kids’ schedules but we had a really good routine and the kids were in school for 6 hours a day. My baby was still young enough that he was taking a super long day nap or would hang out next to me while I was working.

Fast forward six months and now I have a kindergartener, first grader and second grader who are all doing distance learning from home and a two and a half year old who literally does not stop talking. I’ve had to adjust, hire help and add a weekly “mom’s night off” to get me through. I want to share my top four sanity tips for working from home with kids.

Tip 1: Ask for help, hire help, just get help.
You guys, I was drowning. It was mid July where I hit my working-from-home mom rock bottom. While on the 10,000th Zoom call of that day, my 7 year old daughter walked in and was trying to ask me something. I was doing the hand wave to have her get out but she wasn’t listening. She kept talking and I kept waving. Realizing this wasn’t working I decided to shut off my Zoom camera and scream, at the top of my lungs, “GET OUT!” This wasn’t just any scream it was animalistic, like my throat actually hurt after. I immediately sat down, put a half smile on my face and put myself back on video. I saw a stunned group of faces and someone asked; everything OK over there? I hadn’t muted myself. I called a nanny agency and we hired someone the next week. Recognizing when you need help is critical.

Tip 2: Keep a morning routine.
This is something I swear by religiously. Prior to taking time to making this practice a core part of my day I would stay up late, then sleep in and be woken up by my children every morning. This sounds terrible but I use to dread hearing their voices in the morning while I was trying to get just 10 more minutes of sleep. My problem was always going to bed too late. I got on track by taking melatonin every night for two weeks until my body was use to going to bed at 10 p.m. I need a full 8 hours of sleep (my husband jokes my ideal sleep pattern is 10 hours) so knowing I couldn’t comprise on the number of hours I had to find a way to go to sleep earlier. Now I wake up, take 10 minutes to pray, write in my notebook the top three things that need to be accomplished that day and what I am grateful for, take a green shot, drink a glass of water then get a 30 minute work out in. My kids wake up right about this time and I am able to greet them, feeling happy and accomplished. We eat breakfast together then I shower and start my work day at 9 a.m. Having a morning routine sets the tone for my day, prioritize my goals, and dramatically increase work productivity.

Tip 3: Set work limits.
Being an entrepreneur (I am the Founder of Dreamland Baby) can lead to working endless hours. There was a time I use to work all day Saturday and Sunday but the burn out was real and finally had to cut back to just Monday-Friday. I am still guilty of working crazy hours during the week but trying to be better about setting and end time to my day and actually sticking with it.

I see this with my husband and my friends who traditionally worked in an office. You get in at 9 a.m. and you leave at 5 p.m. and you leave your work behind. Well now your work is inside your home. My husband’s work station is set up inside our bedroom. There are so many nights we are winding down and relaxing but instead of spending time with me he drifts back to his “office” to finish up one more email. It is tempting to keep going but ultimately you are doing more harm than good if you don’t take a break.

Tip 4: Don’t forget to be social.
Having a solid social life might feel like a thing of the past but if you put it as a priority and effort you can make it happen. I am naturally extroverted and love getting together with my girlfriends. When I have a few hours away from my home, laughing and connecting with friends I come back a better mom, wife and more productive in work. I live in California and we began shelter in place very early. I was basically inside my home from March to July. I was going a little (or a lot) stir crazy. I asked my husband if I could have one night off during the week that was a “me” night. I let all my girlfriends know and now we have a girl’s night out every Wednesday. We do things like walk the neighborhood, meet for dinner outdoors or just hang out in someone’s back yard and chat. If you aren’t in a place where you can meet in person, try a weekly zoom call with friends. It has been so nourishing for my soul and ultimately makes me such a better employee because I am shutting off my work brain and just having fun for a few hours every week.

Tara met Rob after a career move to the Bay Area; they’ve been married for almost 9 years and have 4 children. Tara worked for a number of medical startups before creating wearable weighted blankets for infants. Tara launched Dreamland Baby in 2019 and adoringly refers to it as her 5th baby! 

Working from home indefinitely is a significant adjustment for many, especially for parents balancing distance learning and remote work. A new survey found that 75 percent of at-home U.S. workers are experiencing an increased sense of digital overload. Many are not reimbursed for remote work essentials which is an added burden for parents paying for home learning supplies. 

As many navigate a new work style that can feel “always on”, Paper & Packaging – How Life Unfolds surveyed 2,000 new at-home workers to learn more about the impact of their changing work environment on productivity and mental wellness.

The report contributes to research on the long-term impact of remote work and helps companies understand their workers’ evolving needs. It reveals a surprising trend: as workplaces move online, an overwhelming number are experiencing digital overload, turning to analog tools to mitigate the effects of screen fatigue.

zoom

Commenting on the study, productivity and digital detox expert Holland Haiis noted, “When working from home, we tend to use multiple devices simultaneously. This not only causes greater digital fatigue, it increases eye strain, and we tend to experience brain fog much earlier in the day. Turning to analog tools is a natural impulse: switching to paper and pen allows the brain to relax, and have the white space for problem-solving.”

Working from home exacerbates digital overload as messaging, emailing and video conferencing have become the primary means of communication.“Using paper during virtual calls allows your brain to focus on what’s most important. When it’s written on paper, you’re able to stay in the conversation, as opposed to using another device and falling down the technology rabbit hole,” said Holland.

Many are reaching for analog tools to refocus, turning to pencil and paper to give their eyes a break from the screen. Printing documents allows workers to rely less on their devices and gives their brains a much needed break from technology.

With the possibility that working from home may be here to stay, many people are investing money in their home offices. Not all employers are reimbursing their workers for office essentials. The top items that have not been reimbursed are pens, pencils, notebooks and sticky notes. 

On top of coping with digital fatigue and virtual communication overload, distractions are also coming from within the physical work-from-home environment. Over a third of respondents blamed their diminished productivity on distractions created by the people they live with.Many cited distractions such as deliveries or construction noise. Others lost productivity due to not having the correct tools. 

—Jennifer Swartvagher

Featured photo: Gabriel Benois on Unsplash

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And just like that, our summer comes to a close. The change of season brings a shift to our approach and pace of life against the backdrop of a continuing pandemic.  The onset of fall means it’s time for your kids to return to school whether that means in-person, hybrid, or remote. Thus, for us parents, the unabating worry and juggle of life continues on.  So, to my fellow moms out there, how are you holding up?  How are you making sure to care for yourself?  If you need some self-care suggestions, here are some tips to help you manage the parental back-to-school burnout.

1. PERMISSION. During times of stress, it is paramount that we prioritize our wellbeing so we can survive the endless challenges coming our way. It can feel selfish and hard to hit the pause button on our mom lives, but the simple act of giving yourself permission to stop and reset will make all the difference in how you feel, which will translate into how you interact with your family. The best part about self-care is that it can be anything that feels good for you. It doesn’t have to be a fancy spa trip or an at-home bubble bath. Your daily self-care moment can be as simple as five minutes of alone time to read or do nothing so long as you come out of it feeling nourished.

2. PAIR IT. To ensure you get a few minutes a day of mama love, make a habit of giving yourself a moment of self-care whenever you treat your kids to media time or cookies. Pairing the care of your kids with your own self-care means you’re guaranteed to have nourishing moments at least once daily.

3. FLEXIBILITY. We’ve all had to practice the art of letting go over the last few months, but every day we still need to remind ourselves to release the unimportant things and prioritize the essentials. Making peace with the mess of life and being flexible with what comes your way will help you maintain your sanity. So, if you have a child yanking on your shirt during a Zoom conference call or blocking your floor space mid-burpee during your streaming workout, just take a deep breath and remind yourself that you are flexible, capable and everything will eventually get done…one day.

4. TAG OUT. Moms, while we’re fabulous at being low-key superheroes, conquering every task and problem that comes our way can be so draining. Your mental state is way more important than your ability to just suck it up and push through. Furthermore, you don’t need to be the only person handling and managing everything. So, I encourage you to tag out with your partner or babysitter when you feel yourself dwindling. If you don’t have someone to physically replace you to manage a situation, you can simply take a moment to duck out of the room with the help of media or toys to occupy your kids. Do whatever works for you and your family to take just a few minutes to clear your head and hit your refresh button.

5. BREATHE. As a meditation teacher, I would be remiss not to mention meditation as an excellent strategy for managing back-to-school burnout.

Meditation is a great tool because it helps:

  • Increase positivity

  • Enhance focus and productivity

  • Reduce stress and anxiety

  • Sleep better

  • Connect to the present moment

The best part is that you can reap the benefits of meditation from the moment you start trying even if that means you begin with only a few minutes a day. 

Try out this breathing technique during a quick meditation:

  • Start by taking a long, slow deep breath in through your nose and without any pause, flow into a long, slow exhale out of your mouth. 
  • Then flow your exhale back into your inhale without any pause. This is what I like to call the “Ocean Breath” because it flows back and forth continuously like the waves going in and out of the shore. By witnessing your breath and making sure you are flowing your breaths continuously, you are focusing your mind on this single task making it difficult to think about anything that was stressing you out previously.

As we progress into these next few months and return back to school and the looming holiday crunch time, it is essential, now more than ever, to establish healthy strategies to manage our daily mama stressors. It’s okay to give yourself permission to fall back and relax every now and then in order to preserve your wellbeing. By incorporating a daily self-care routine, even for just for a few minutes each day, you will feel nourished, more relaxed, and better equipped to handle other people’s needs. If falling back is okay for our clocks, it certainly can be okay in our lives, too.

My passion is helping others overcome adversity to find joy via meditation training and my podcast “Responding to Life.” I draw upon my unique fertility journey of pregnancy loss, IVF, international adoption and surrogacy, ultimately becoming a mother of five, to show others the power of perseverance, calm and courage.

This year back to school preparations have been anything but normal. Working parents are scrambling trying to figure out how to maintain a positive work and life balance while managing distance or hybrid learning. Care.com surveyed working parents to find out what they would like to see and how they could alleviate the stressors caring for their children while returning to work. 

work from home

The COVID-19 Working Parents Survey reveals that the pandemic has not only made childcare more difficult, but women are often finding themselves picking up the slack as careers are impacted. The survey also found that with the announced limitations of schools and/or daycares as they re-open, 73% of parents plan to make major changes to their professional lives with 15% considering leaving the workplace altogether.

52% of working parents say that juggling childcare and work responsibilities has been harder during the COVID-19 crisis. This increases to 57% of those with a youngest child under 4 years old. Additionally, 66% of working parents agree that juggling childcare responsibilities with work responsibilities during the COVID-19 crisis has caused their productivity to suffer. 

The study found that women are picking up the slack. 57% of working women say that they’ve taken on most or all of the extra childcare responsibilities during the crisis, compared to just 8% of women who say their partners do more. However, 36% of men say they do the extra childcare work.

Workplace anxieties are on the rise. 52% of working parents agree that they hide childcare concerns because they worry that their employer or colleagues won’t understand.

43% of respondents say that their employers are more tolerant toward managing children while working than they were at the beginning of the COVID-19 crisis, compared to only 12% who say their employer is less tolerant. 84% of respondents who don’t currently receive childcare benefits say that receiving new employer-provided childcare benefits is important in order to continue working and raising children at the same time. 

Parents want more childcare benefits. Only 15% receive childcare benefits that are sponsored by their employer, and in addition, men are twice as likely to receive childcare benefits (22% to 11%).

—Jennifer Swartvagher

Featured photo:  Charles Deluvio on Unsplash

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A job with a flexible schedule is the most desirable flexible work arrangement second only to remote work. To highlight the types of companies that hire for flexible schedule jobs, FlexJobs has compiled the top 30 companies hiring for flexible schedule jobs this summer. This list is based on an analysis of over 52,000 companies and looks specifically at their flexible schedule job posting histories in FlexJobs’ database between Jun. 1, 2020 and Jul. 20, 2020.

Especially as many schools consider distance learning this fall due to the coronavirus pandemic, flexible schedule jobs could dramatically help working parents and other caregivers balance their professional and personal responsibilities during this unprecedented time

“Flexible schedule jobs are a great work flexibility option that puts employees more in control of their day so they can create their ideal arrangement, which may even change day by day,” said Sara Sutton, founder and CEO of FlexJobs. “Especially as many schools consider e-learning this fall due to the pandemic, flexible schedule jobs could dramatically help working parents and other caregivers balance their professional and personal responsibilities during this unprecedented time,” Sutton concluded.

flexible work schedule
Courtesy of FlexJobs

A “flexible schedule job” refers to jobs that allow workers to vary their hours and mostly be in control of the hours they work. Companies hiring for flexible schedule jobs offer a range of opportunities across many industries and career levels. Additionally, many flexible schedule jobs also allow for remote work. There are primarily six different types of flexible schedules:

Completely Flexible Schedule

A completely flexible schedule is just that, a fully flexible schedule. These types of schedules give the worker control over start times and end times. For some, this means putting hours in early in the morning, then a few in the afternoon, some more late at night, and finishing out the rest of the scheduled hours on the weekend.

 

Alternative Schedule

An alternative schedule is one in which work hours are scheduled outside of the typical 9-5. Second shifts and night shifts would qualify, as would weekend shifts. These types of schedules free up the normal daytime business hours.

 

Compressed Workweek

The compressed workweek takes your typical 40-hour, Monday through Friday and compresses it into fewer days. Rather than working five days a week, a compressed schedule will lengthen the hours on three or four of those days, allowing for an additional day or two off per week. The most popular compressed schedules are three 12-hour workdays with four days off and four 10-hour workdays with three days off.

 

Results-Only Work Environment (ROWE)

Similar to the completely flexible schedule option, the ROWE option is focused more on results and productivity rather than the actual time put in. This means that as long as you get your work finished, and the end product is something to be proud of, you can work whatever hours it takes to complete it, even if it is less than the full-time status.

 

Split Shift

A split shift schedule means that you are splitting your hours throughout the day. For example, you may put four hours in during the morning, two more mid-afternoon, and end your evening putting in your last two hours. Another variant is putting in four hours in the morning and then four hours at night. The split shift schedule simply means that your schedule for the day is split to allow for other life happenings in between.

 

Flex Time

Many companies offer a flex-time option, and it usually pertains to starting and stopping times. Flex time offers workers the option to start their schedule earlier or later, but the hours are worked concurrently, and the schedule remains constant, usually until an official change request is submitted or a review is conducted. 

The full  list of thirty companies with the most flexible schedule jobs can be found here: https://www.flexjobs.com/blog/post/companies-for-flexible-jobs-v2/

—Jennifer Swartvagher

Featured photo: manny PANTOJA on Unsplash

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