ML Interest Tag: psychiatrist

3 Ways to Combat Postpartum Depression

By Dr. Alan Lindemann

According to the American College of Obstetricians and Gynecologists (ACOG), it’s not uncommon for women to get the “baby blues” in the first 8–10 weeks after delivering. Mothers with the “baby blues” will often contact their care providers one or two weeks after giving birth complaining of sadness and difficulty taking care of their newborn. Some express guilt over feeling they’re not being a good parent. Some may be having trouble breastfeeding their babies. These “baby blues,” ACOG claims, resolve on their own. If depression continues after 8–10 weeks, however, it is called postpartum depression.

Postpartum depression poses a serious risk to new mother’s lives. When left untreated, they may even develop postpartum psychosis, in which the mother’s life and those of her children are then at risk.

Approximately one in seven women experiences postpartum depression in the first year after birth. You are certainly not alone if you are struggling with this experience. The very good news to be aware of is that postpartum depression is absolutely treatable.

This well-known, challenging condition so many new mothers battle also has a well-worn path to remediation. You do not need to suffer in silence or “tough it out.” In fact, it is much more dangerous to do so. If you think you may be suffering from postpartum depression, contact your doctor right away and begin the three-step process detailed below.

How to Beat Postpartum Depression

1. Secure a Diagnosis 
The first step in treatment is diagnosis. In the more than 6,000 births I’ve facilitated, none of my patients came to bodily harm due to postpartum depression or psychosis because I implemented checkups within the first two weeks—not six, as insurance companies deem necessary. In the absence of a proactive postpartum checkup plan from your doctor, however, it is crucial that you set up a plan yourself. Talk to your care providers, your partner, and trusted loved ones and create a checkup system for your first six weeks after birth, and throughout the first year.

Your spouse can be a valuable resource for women suffering from postpartum depression. Spouses can often recognize the signs of depression before the mother does.

And if you are reading this after giving birth and already in the midst of your struggle, call your doctor and any support people in your life now. Having a plan beforehand is wonderful, but it is not too late to get the help you need and start feeling better, for yourself and for your new baby.

2. Commit to Counseling
Work with your obstetrician to connect with a psychiatrist right away. In my experience, postpartum depression can be greatly mitigated by simple and timely access to care for the problem.

If you do not have a preexisting relationship with a psychiatrist and have not established one through your doctor before the birth, you can still start now. It may take time to get in for your first psychiatric appointment, however, so be prepared for your OBGYN to connect you with an appropriate postpartum counselor in the meantime.

3. Be Open to Medication
When “baby blues” become postpartum depression, the priority must be helping you break free from this debilitating and dangerous state. Medication is a reliable way to achieve this. Once postpartum depression is diagnosed, treatment involves counseling and taking serotonin and norepinephrine reuptake inhibitor (SNRI) medications. SNRI medications motivate and promote happiness and comfort. Moms are not only less depressed, but also begin to feel like taking care of their new baby.

Getting well and breaking the cycle of depression must be a priority. If you are in the midst of postpartum depression now, share your feelings with your spouse or a support person. Your OBGYN should be an excellent resource for you to tap into right away for listening to you and helping you get the care you need. Your physician can get you connected with a counselor and, ultimately, a psychiatrist.

If you are breastfeeding and need to take medications for postpartum depression or anxiety, both you and your physician should discuss the risks and make the decision together about what medications to take. Research shows very little of the medication for postpartum depression or anxiety will get into your breast milk, but you and your physician should make this decision together.

And if you need to speak with someone immediately and cannot reach your physician or support person, don’t hesitate to use your local community hotlines for depression.

Again, postpartum depression is a treatable condition. Discussion of postpartum depression with your physician should be part of your birth plan. You absolutely can make it through this challenging time and begin feeling like yourself again—and actually enjoy having time with your new baby.

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To the Mothers who Struggle With Postpartum Depression

Dr. Alan Lindemann
Tinybeans Voices Contributor

An obstetrician and maternal mortality expert, “Rural Doc” Alan Lindemann, M.D. teaches women and families how to create the outcomes they want for their own health and pregnancy. In nearly 40 years of practice, he has delivered around 6,000 babies and achieved a maternal mortality rate of zero! Visit LindemannMD.com

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There Is No Silver Bullet to Healing from Trauma

By Jess Ader-Ferretti HBIC at Shit Moms Won't Say

Trauma isn’t linear.

I’ll start there. You don’t wake up one day and say “I’m going to quickly fix and move on from this thing that’s been stabbing me with a million tiny needles an hour for years. (Wipes hands) problem solved.” There is no silver bullet to healing.

Trauma also begets trauma. Once you’re exposed, it’s like an all-hands-on-deck pile on until you finally figure out how to genuinely feel your feelings. Recently, I was enlightened to the idea that instead of going through healing, I could go around it. You believe you’re doing the work. Truly, you do. In reality though, you’re kind of just going around it. Yes, you’re checking all of the boxes: Therapy. Check. Medication. Check. Openness to new ways to heal. Check, check friggity check.

You’re showing up to find the light, but you’re keeping your sunglasses on. To attempt a bit more eloquence, it was described to me like this: Picture a sphere. You can go over it and look down at it, you can go around it and take a quick peek, but the biggest impact would come from going through it. You can’t miss it if you go right through it. You become engulfed by the sphere and, by proxy, have to take some of it on to get back out again. Sure, you can see it from all of the angles, but you won’t heal from a drive-by. You need to be stuck in traffic for a while to really appreciate a clear lane.

I had never really thought about it before. I mean, I can’t deny it – I essentially hold a Ph.D. in intellectualizing the intangible. I don’t cry often, I carry other people’s guilt, and the word “trauma” makes me cringe. I invalidate my own feelings about my own trauma as soon as it comes out of my own mouth. I started thinking though, I can’t be alone in this. I am not the only person working around healing. More specifically, I’m not the only parent struggling with what it looks like to do the work while being present for your family.

Trauma manifests in the ways your body allows it to. The ways in which our brains and hearts feel like it won’t kill us. That’s really what we’re fighting for, right? This trauma that was imposed on us as kids, teenagers, young adults, whatever has the ability to literally kill us if we let it. I process things to abandon them; I don’t process to own them and learn from them. I want them gone as soon as I acknowledge it. Out of sight, out of mind has been my factory setting for a long time.

I’ve been in and out of therapy most of my life. When I was younger, I shared a therapist and a psychiatrist with my narcissistic parents. So, as you can imagine, the narrative was a bit cloudy when it came to healing. I took a long break. I made the choice to stop therapy and stop medication at a point where I felt like I could handle the world without it. In reality, I wasn’t actually getting anything from it because I wasn’t encouraged to put anything into it. We learn how to process our emotions from our upbringing, that’s no major secret. If your upbringing correlates emotions that don’t fit a specific narrative to insanity, you very quickly learn to get in line and keep your thoughts to yourself.

I’m at the point in this piece where I’m questioning why I’m even writing it. Do I want to congratulate myself for someone else recognizing that I have more work to do than I thought? Or, do I want to write about this because I feel alone in it and know that’s not the case. I’m cautiously optimistic that it’s the latter. Becoming a parent rocked my world in a way I really wasn’t expecting. Being the product of cyclical, narcissistic abuse and mental illness, I went into parenthood with the fear of repetition. Would I be capable of loving my daughter in the way she deserved to be loved? Would I impose my own emotional detachment and accidentally discourage her feelings? Would I repeat the cycle?

I’m writing this from the outside of the sphere as I contemplate what it looks like to actually go in. I worry that doing the work now will take away from the most innocent years of my daughter’s life. I also worry that saving the work for later will take away from a time where she’ll need my emotional availability the most. Being a parent is freakin’ hard. We are challenged to be our best selves while raising better versions of who we became. I want my daughter to know that crying isn’t weak and that being yourself isn’t shameful. I want her to stay weird and feel like she can tell me when she does something stupid. I don’t want her to make a story shiny just because it will be more consumable for someone to digest. I don’t want her to hold her opinions—she has them, she should use them. She’s entitled to them.

That’s why I have to do the work now. Through my box-checking (and a great therapist and the support of my friends and family to explore healing outside of traditional therapy), I’ve certainly made progress. I have pride in my learned ability to parent in spite and the very genuine bond I have with my daughter. I recognize my inability to let go of the past and my trauma-based identity. If you’re reading this and nodding, I see you. We are not all our mother’s daughters. We are not all our parent’s children. Being a product of your environment and your trauma doesn’t have to equate to repetition or, even worse, regression. Recognizing where you’ve been has the best potential to navigate where you need to go.

Jess Ader-Ferretti HBIC at Shit Moms Won't Say
Tinybeans Voices Contributor

Jess Ader-Ferretti is the creator and host of the growingly popoular web series, Shit Moms Won't Say. Jess is a born and rasied New Yorker who lives with her wife, Katie and their daughter, Lillie. Tune into Shit Moms Won't Say every Monday at 8PM EST

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Raising a Child with Autism Can Be Lonely but It Doesn’t Have to Be

By Lauren Emmett

During the years surrounding my son’s autism diagnosis, I could barely say the word “autism” out loud. I thought I would just break down every single time and, frankly, I didn’t have time for that. To be clear, this had nothing to do with shame. Not one day has gone by that I am not immensely proud of this boy.

It was about fear, worry, the unknown, and all the other bumps along the road to acceptance. All a parent could ever want is for their child to be okay.  Autism has a way of tricking your brain into questioning if that will be the case.  There is so much to learn and understand before some of that uncontrollable worry begins to fade.

I threw myself into research. We got on waitlists. I began on the path to truly knowing this boy.

And I wrote. I got it all out. Everything that was too hard to talk about at the time. Processing this kind of information is not easy, and it can be very lonely. This is a big reason why I am here, sharing our story. I never want other families to feel the same confusion and loneliness that we felt at the beginning of this journey.

It has meant so much to me to connect with other autism families, some who are going through the steps to a diagnosis or have a child that was recently diagnosed, and other parents of children of all different ages and abilities.

The main message I want to convey to all these parents is that there will be many times that you will feel alone in this, but you do not have to be. I constantly must remind myself of this.

I cannot tell you how many situations there have been where my knee-jerk reaction was that no one knows how this feels. The same battles, day in and day out, the medical incident reports, medical and educational decisions, the moment I saw AUTISM written on paper in an evaluation about my boy.

I’ll tell you there is not one thing I could tell my fellow parents of children with autism about our life that would shock them. Seriously. The fears, the frustrations, the meltdowns, and all the “inappropriate” behaviors we’ve faced. They get it. They also get how big some of the simple, small victories truly are as well.

Things can still be hard for me to process a lot of the time. Sometimes it seems easier to sit alone with the tough stuff. If you do this, please don’t stay there long. Let someone sit with you.

Find your own way to work through your thoughts and feelings. They are real and should not be ignored.

Talk to someone. You might find this safe person in a waiting room at therapy or the pediatrician’s office, on the playground, or online. If all of this sounds impossible and overwhelming because you can’t even say “autism” out loud yet, that is okay too! It will get easier to talk about and then you will be ready to lean on others.

The best way for your friends and family to learn about autism and support you as a parent raising a child with autism is to tell them. Tell them about your child. Tell them about your struggles, your child’s struggles, strengths, passions, victories, and all the things.

They might not understand exactly how you feel, but they don’t have to. Sometimes talking through things just leaves you feeling better. I promise your people want to support you and celebrate with you and your child, you just have to let them.

I’m not saying you have to wave your autism awareness flag as loudly as I do. We all do this life differently. Find a place that makes you feel supported.

I am so much stronger today than the day I walked out of that psychiatrist’s office with my son’s diagnosis in hand. My whole family is. If you would have told me this back then, I may have not believed you.

My boy is always growing and evolving and most days it feels like autism is always one step ahead of me. It’s like trying to catch and examine the wind. There is still so much unknown to wrestle with.

While I may never understand everything going on inside of this complicated boy, what I do know is that I will never stop trying, and there are so many people here rooting for him.

This post originally appeared on wilsonsclimb.com.

Lauren is a proud mom of two adorable kids, her son Wilson and daughter Charlie. She is constantly learning from her children and loves to share their adventures from the world of autism on wilsonsclimb.com.  Lauren shares her son's journey as one small piece in helping to spread autism awareness around the world.  

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Working Moms, a Pandemic & Our Breaking Point

By Jamie Johnson

A few months ago, I woke up with a feeling of dread and deep sadness in my chest. My alarm had gone off at its usual time, 4:30 am, so I could have some alone time before my husband and the kids woke up. Even my alone time felt sad, and it’s usually the part of my day that energizes me the most. I cried on the couch as I drank my coffee and did my morning scroll, planning the day and answering emails. I couldn’t kick the feeling of dread in my body.

I did my morning workout, but the endorphins just didn’t help. I listened to my favorite song in the shower, but it didn’t make me want to sing. I simply made it through the motions of the morning. I made my way to work, got my temperature taken at the front desk and headed into my office. Later that morning, something happened that was a slight inconvenience to me and I felt white hot rage running through my veins. It was almost like my brain was on fire. I couldn’t see straight. And this was happening a lot. Almost daily. I was angry.

Was it the global pandemic? The civil unrest? The dumpster fire of an election year? The innocent people being killed in the streets?

It was all of that. Every. Single. Thing.

But it was also something else that the world seemed to be missing out on. I was a full-time working mom. With a full-time working husband. And soon we would need to figure out how to school our six-year-old kindergartener virtually while we both worked our 8-5 jobs. And, yes, we are very grateful to still have jobs right now. But thinking about it made me sweat and my heart beat faster. I became overwhelmed and panicked. But this panic looked different.

I sat at my desk in a catatonic state, with tunnel vision and a ringing in my ears. My chest felt like there was an elephant on it and I was trying not to sob.

“Crying at work is unprofessional.”

“You can’t leave right now, you have work to do.”

“I can’t believe you haven’t done any real work yet, you slacker.”

“You have to be at the office from 8-5. It’s too early to take a lunch break.”

I ended up bolting from my desk at 11 a.m., when I felt it was appropriate to leave, and had a panic attack on my living room floor. I have spent the last three months seeing a new primary care doctor, a therapist and a psychiatrist. My medicine has been changed three times. And it has been the most stressful three months of my life. I have blisters in my mouth and cysts in my armpits.

I’m not asking for a break. I’m not asking for sympathy. I am trying to use my voice to tell our business leaders and our government and those in power that are making the decisions, that we are struggling. And that struggle has created a historic rise in mental health problems and a rise in suicides. We are stressed, tired, struggling, anxious, lost, and some are suicidal. If that doesn’t make you realize we need your help, I don’t know what will.

So what do we need?

We need flexibility. We need to be allowed to be late. We need to be allowed to leave early. We need to be able to work the hours we need from home so we can help our children with their school work. We should be allowed to take a day off to try and figure it all out. We need help financially. We need you to treat us like you would expect to be treated. I know we are working for you and your bottom line, but you have to think about us. We are your employees, your constituents, your friends, your neighbors, the people passing you on the street. And we are tired. We are struggling. We are barely making it day to day. And some of us aren’t making it at all.

Until Next Time,

Jamie

This post originally appeared on Hashtag MomFail.

I am a full time working mom with two little boys, Henry and Simon. I write about real life and real life gets messy. Contributor for Motherly, HuffPost Parents, Scary Mommy, Today Parents, Love What Matters and Her View From Home. 

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Is a Video Game the Key to Identifying ADHD in Kids? This Study Says Yes

by Erin Lem

A new study by researchers from the Universidad Carlos III de Madrid (UC3M) and the Complutense University of Madrid (UCM, in its Spanish acronym) say they have developed a video game that allows the identification and evaluation of the degree of attention deficit hyperactivity disorder (ADHD) in children and adolescents. Read on to learn more about this potential new rapid test that will provide for early diagnosis.

How is ADHD currently diagnosed?
According to Science Daily, ADHD is a neurodevelopmental disorder with an estimated prevalence of 7.2% in children and adolescents. Currently, Science Daily reports that ADHD is clinically diagnosed, meaning the symptoms are identified by health care professionals using the child’s medical history, often supported by scales completed by caregivers and/or teachers. There is currently no diagnostic tests to identify ADHD.

What to know about the study
The study was carried out in collaboration with a group of 32 children, between the ages of 8 and 16, diagnosed with ADHD by the Child and Adolescent Psychiatry Unit in the Psychiatry Department at the Jiménez Díaz Foundation University Hospital. When the children took the test, they were observed by trained professionals, and caregivers filled out a behavior classification scale, which helps evaluate the severity of ADHD symptoms. Each test only takes seven minutes to complete.

What’s the Game?
In the game a raccoon has to jump over 180 holes that are grouped into 18 blocks. “We hypothesize that children diagnosed with ADHD inattentive subtype will make more mistakes by omission and will jump closer to the hole as a result of the symptoms of inattention,” says Inmaculada Peñuelas Calvo, another author of the study, psychiatrist at the Jiménez Díaz Foundation University Hospital and professor at the UCM’s Department of Personality, Evaluation and Clinical Psychology.

What did the study conclude?
The study states: “Our results suggest that the number of times the avatar does not jump, as well as the median and interquartile range of the jump distances, show a significant correlation with the severity of patients’ inattention. In addition, this correlation tends to be greater when the time between stimuli increases. This could be explained because when the time between stimuli is short, the patient is immersed in the game, whereas whenever this time is longer, ADHD patients have difficulty maintaining the attention.” In short, this new study opens the door to exploring whether a 7 minute video game can be used as a diagnostic tool to help identify the severity of ADHD in children. And, since it’s an actual video game, the possibility of conducting tests like these remotely may be possible in the future.

Learn more here and read the full study here.

—Erin Lem

photo: Pixabay

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12 Podcasts Every Mom Needs in Her Life Right Now

by Tinybeans Team

Moms can get a lot done in 10 minutes, from prepping for a Zoom call while simultaneously changing a diaper to walking the dog, pushing the stroller, potty training a toddler, and calling it time to yourself. However you conquer your day, these podcasts for moms will make it a little easier to whistle while you work. Keep reading for the best podcasts for women to subscribe to, now.

Motherhood Sessions

On this podcast, you can listen to conversations between reproductive psychiatrist Dr. Alexandra Sacks and her patients, who are mothers, as they dive into issues ranging from reconciling the way they were raised and the way they are raising their own kids to how to co-parent with an alcoholic ex. It's a podcast about sharing secrets, setting down your burdens and lightening your load, and her topics vary so widely that sooner or later, you're bound to stumble upon some of your own baggage. Listen here on iTunes.

Mom Enough

Mother-daughter co-hosts Marti and Erin Erickson tackle the issues of motherhood—from confronting the daily grind to balancing work and family to untangling the big questions of how society values mothering—through expert eyes. Erin is a nurse practitioner with a Master’s in Public Health, and her mother Marti holds a Ph.D. and is a world-renowned expert in child development and children’s mental health. Their guests help them take a research-based approach on dissecting the hardest aspects of motherhood. Listen here on iTunes. 

 

Experiencing Motherhood Single & Black

In 2017, Kim, a 28-year-old single mom, had graduated from college, dropped both her full-time and part-time job and was looking for a podcast to help give her insight on how to raise her precocious daughter. She found many podcasts for single moms, but none specifically for single millennial moms of color. Thus, Experiencing Motherhood Single & Black was born. Kim wanted to share her story and, hopefully, help other young moms in her position. Topics include everything from parenting during the pandemic to homebuying for single moms to becoming a single mom after domestic violence. 

Listen on iTunes. 

Anna Faris Is Unqualified

"Not-so-great-relationship advice from completely unqualified Hollywood types." Celeb mom Anna Faris gets real about the reality of parenting, relationships and more. Recent episodes include talking to real moms discussing co-parenting strategies with their exes to hosting fellow celebs to talk about parenting, marriage and more. Subscribe here via iTunes.

Big Little Choices

"Big Little Choices is a podcast that gives women an avenue to share stories of identity and motherhood." Sri Bodanapu is your mom host of this judgment-free parenting podcast. Each episode features one mother’s story, her struggle with a particular familial situation, and how she came to a decision that worked for her family—regardless of whether it was the norm or not. Listen on iTunes here.

The Longest Shortest Time

Calling itself "the parenting show for everyone," journalist Hillary Frank shares "stories about the surprises and absurdities of raising other humans—and being raised by them." Winner of the 2018 Webby Award for Best Kids & Family Podcast, each episode runs about 30 to 45 minutes in length and is super-approachable. And, while the last episode was recorded in December 2019, you can still revel in the backlog of episodes, which are all timeless enough not to matter when they were recorded. Listen here on iTunes.

Fare of the Free Child

If you're a mom of color and you're interested in alternative parenting methods including homeschooling, slow schooling, unschooling, or if you're looking for sources on conscious parenting, this is a great place to start. Conversations touch on everything from toxic parenting habits to decolonizing activism and raising LGBTQ children of color. 

Listen on iTunes here. 

Moms Don't Have Time to Read Books

Zibby Owens, mother of four, interviews and chats with authors about their work, so busy people (taking care of younger people) can listen in and get the inside scoop. Owens asks questions about how being a mother might enhance or inhibit a writer's process, in addition to giving a solid peek into the books you'd most want to read—if you could only find the time. Listen here on iTunes. 

Your Parenting Mojo

In a nutshell, host Jen Lumanlan presents "research-based ideas to help kids thrive" in each episode. A mom herself, Jen owns up to her own lack of parenting instincts, but, as she says herself, she makes "up for it with outstanding research skills." Show topics like forest schools vs. regular schools, the 30-million word gap and growth mindsets for kids, there's a lot to take in for nerdy, research-loving parents. Get it on iTunes here.

What Fresh Hell: Laughing In the Face of Motherhood

Comedic duo Amy Wilson and Margaret Ables dish up personal stories that are fortified with structure and research in each episode, which means each episode blossoms from anecdotal to thoughtful discussion without leaving you feeling like you just got trapped by another look-how-cute-smart-funny-my-kid-is neighbor. One recent episode explores the regressions our kids may be showing during the strangeness of the COVID-`19 era, which leads to a broader discussion of how we all manage during times of stress, and then tops it off with a guest child development specialist to weigh in on the matter. Listen on iTunes here. 

Spawned

Hosted by Liz Gumbinner and Kristen Chase of Cool Mom Picks, this podcast offers a fast-paced, smart dive into the parenting topics and trends du jour. Look for episodes like "How to be a bare minimum parent" and "A professional organizer’s top back-to-school organizational tips for the real world." Liz and Kristen offer a ton of practical, actionable tips for moms of all stripes. Listen on iTunes here.

Weekly Dose of BS

The Real Housewives of Dallas moms Brandi Redmond and Stephanie Hollman—the B and S of the podcast's title—co-host this fast and loose new podcast that gives fans just that little bit of extra to their popular Bravo TV show. Weekly Dose of BS covers a little bit of everything, centered on parenting, #momlife and more. Listen on iTunes here.

—Shelley Massey with Keiko Zoll

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Featured image courtesy of Andrea Piacquadio via Pexels

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How to Talk to Your Kids about Coronavirus without Scaring Them

by Leah R. Singer

With COVID-19 being front and center in everyone’s minds, the world is a very different place than it was a few weeks ago. While kids are not on the front lines dealing with the situation, they definitely feel the anxiety, whether it’s from the change in routine or from us adults (it’s inevitable). Your kiddos may be asking questions about why they need to stay home and if they’ll get sick, so we’ve rounded up answers from a panel of experts to help you answer those questions. Here are 10 ways to communicate with your kids about COVID-19.

Victoria_Borodinova via Pixabay

1. Give your kiddo clear and age-appropriate information. Even adults are easily overwhelmed by coronavirus news and information. According to Colleen Colaner, associate professor of communication at the University of Missouri, kids are aware that there is a big, scary thing happening. Giving them details can help them understand what's happening. But make sure to use clear and accurate terminology. Kids can be very literal with words, so euphemisms can actually cause confusion.

2. Focus on the positives. Use this time as an opportunity to enjoy family time together and be present. When your kiddos are upset they can't see friends or go to the park, acknowledge those feelings, and then do an activity together as a family. Steve Gross, a licensed social worker and head of Life is Good Playmakers, suggests using this time to create, play, read, sing, dance and be in nature together.

DarkoStojanovic via Pixabay

3. Thank the helpers and heroes. Kids typically think of police and fire fighters as community heroes. This is a great time to teach them about the people who are working to keep the community safe, including nurses, doctors, ambulance drivers, grocery store clerks and the many others who are still working. For an activity, get out paper and crayons and make cards together to give to those individuals.

4. Keep life as scheduled as you can. Consistency is so helpful for kids. Psychotherapist Noel McDermott suggests creating a daily structure for kids, including a weekly timetable of education and activities. The structure will help calm and reassure your kiddos and also teaches them that the time at home is not automatically for electronics.

Jake Guild via Flickr

5. "It's okay to be scared and upset." This is a time of unprecedented uncertainty. Fear and anxiety are very real and normal emotions for kids and adults. The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention suggests parents validate those emotions in their kids, and explain that they feel the same. Encourage them to share their feelings, and also reassure little ones that they will make it through together.

6. Keep news coverage to a minimum. Matthew Biel, a child psychiatrist at Georgetown University School of Medicine, states that parents should think about how to communicate coronavirus information to kids and part of that means not constantly watching the news or going online for updates. With kids, in particular, the constant information can scare kids repeatedly and deepen already existing feelings of anxiety.

StartupStockPhotos via Pixabay

7. Answer questions honestly, but practice your responses. Kids are natural question-askers. Coronavirus is likely to spark questions such as "Is everyone getting sick?," "Why can't I go to school or see my friends?" and "Will grandma be okay?" Dr. Kyle Pruett, child psychiatrist and member of The Goddard School’s Educational Advisory Board, suggests parents rehearse with a partner or friend what you feel ready to answer. This will help you appear less fearful and anxious when it comes time to talk with your kids.

8. Be a role model. Helping your kids feel less anxious about coronavirus means you need to model that behavior and practice self care. Take breaks, get plenty of sleep, exercise and eat well. Use FaceTime, Zoom or Skype to connect with friends and family.

congerdesign via Pixabay

9. Use a "feeling thermometer" to measure emotions. Aureen Wagner, a clinical child psychologist at the Anxiety Wellness Center, tells parents to use the thermometer to check their kiddo's emotional state. Use a scale of 1 to 10, where 10 refers to peak anxiety. The “thinking” brain works best when the “feeling” brain is under 5. Wagner says if kids are at an 8, 9 or 10, that is not the time to talk to them about sensitive issues.  Similarly, if YOU are at an 8, 9, or 10, hold off from a discussion as well.

10. Get outside. Physical activity helps minimize feelings of fear and anxiety. Make time each day for physical activities. This can be a family walk, backyard soccer or even an impromptu dance party.

—Leah R. Singer

 

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Buddy Benches Are Taking Over Schools & Our Hearts Are Melting

by Erin Lem

While some kids thrive at free play during recess, others may find playing—or even interacting with their classmates during recess—overwhelming. Enter the Buddy Bench, a bench that some schools are installing to help students feel less alone and isolated. Read on to find out what the Buddy Bench is all about and how you can install one at your school.

So, What Is the Buddy Bench?
The concept is simple: any child sitting on a Buddy Bench indicates to his peers that he would like company. Whether kiddo is feeling overwhelmed, shy or just having an off day, sitting on the bench means he would like someone to talk to or play with.

Raising Money for a Buddy Bench
Girl Scouts recently posted on their Instagram page, a photo of Ariana who used the money she raised selling cookies to buy a Buddy Bench and donate it to her school. A portion of the caption reads, “It’s a piece of playground furniture that has the power to promote inclusion and empathy.”

Ariana joins Christian—and likely countless others—who in 2013 had a buddy bench installed at his Elementary School after hearing about this concept from a school overseas (read more of Christian’s story here).

Interested in installing a buddy bench at your school? Click here for some strategies to make it happen.

Buddy Bench Requires Supervision
Carole Lieberman, MD, psychiatrist and author of Lions and Tigers and Terrorists, Oh My! How to Protect Your Child in a Time of Terror opened up to Parents.com. She tells them that “sometimes bullies can take advantage of the vulnerability of the kid who sits down hoping to make a friend. It could be tempting for bullies to make fun of them.” So, if you or your family are passionate about bringing a Buddy Bench to your own school, we suggest speaking with teachers and administration about how best to supervise it.

— Erin Lem

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My Kid Has a Great Life: So Why is He Depressed?

By Victoria Ward

As a parent it can be tough to watch your child hurting, especially when you don’t know how to help them. When you see your child dealing with depression, it can feel overwhelming to get a handle on.

It may seem at times like depression is not something kids should be dealing with. How can they be depressed when I’ve tried my best to provide for them? Many parents feel guilt and shame when their child is depressed, thinking it’s the result of some shortcoming on their part.

In reality, both adults and teenagers can struggle with depression. Often times, depression has nothing to do with failing as a parent. The best thing you can do for them is to seek help and be patient.

What is Depression in Teenagers?

Unfortunately, in today’s culture, it seems that more and more young people are suffering from depression. That is why it’s incredibly important to communicate the importance of mental health to young adults.

Many teenage boys avoid seeking help for fear of looking weak. This belief can even lead to feelings of guilt, frustration, and helplessness.

During such pivotal times in a teenager’s life, it’s important for parents to teach their kid’s about depression and what the symptoms look like.

Many teenagers may not even fully realize they’re suffering from depression. If that’s the case, they’ll need your help knowing the signs. By teaching them the symptoms of depression and anxiety you can help them learn to cope with stress and overcome any mental health issues they’re tackling.

What Causes Depression in Teens?

Parents will often wonder what their kids have to be depressed about. They don’t work a 9-to-5 job, pay bills, or file taxes. They have it easy compared to the responsibilities we face as adults.

But we can’t compare our stresses with theirs. Remember what it was like to be a teenager. Teenagers don’t have the experience to understand how to cope with stress just yet. Many middle and high schoolers are feeling stress for the first time in their lives.

Teens can suffer from depression for a variety of different reasons. A common one is academic pressure. This can be from current classes, expectations to make perfect grades, or the stress of college applications.

Another common source of depression in teens is social pressure. The need to fit in and be liked can cause a lot of stress on a teen. Not being able to make friends can take a toll on their self-esteem and result in depression.

Signs That Your Teen Could Be Depressed

There are a variety of signs you should keep an eye out for that indicate your child is dealing with depression. The most common symptoms include:

  • low energy or motivation
  • overeating or undereating
  • tiredness
  • insomnia
  • poor performance at school
  • isolation

There are other signs that could also indicate depression, but if these signs persist for more than two weeks, your teen may require help.

How to Help

Each individual will process depression differently, and many teens choose to ignore their symptoms. As a parent, it’s your responsibility to get them the help they need to help tackle their depression.

You can schedule visits with a psychiatrist, clinical psychologist, or therapist for medical assistance. You’ll also want to make sure you can provide a safe environment for them to talk to you. It’s important that when your teen feels depressed, they seek your advice and help.

Remind them that everyone can suffer from depression from time to time and that it takes strength and courage to get help. You can also remind them that depression is temporary and there’s a light at the end of the tunnel.

My name's Vicky and I have a beautiful four-year-old son named Paul who just started preschool. When I'm not being a mother, I practice tennis and play with my corgi, Milo.

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Parents of ADHD Children: Here Are Some Things to Consider

By Victoria Ward

Attention-Deficit/Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD) is characterized by a difficulty paying attention, hyperactivity, and impulsivity. Diagnosing ADHD in children is difficult because, let’s face it, almost every child meets those criteria. Whether your child was diagnosed, or you suspect they may have ADHD, here are some things to consider.

Since it’s a neurobehavioral disorder, a licensed clinical psychologist or psychiatrist should be consulted for a formal diagnosis to be made. There are various therapeutic and medicinal methods available after psychiatric consultation. For most children, a regimen of cognitive-behavioral therapy (CBT) will be used. CBT is the most popular therapeutic method for treating people with ADHD. This concerns changing the child’s behaviors to improve their focus and lower impulsivity over time.

Talk therapy may also be used for symptom management. Most therapists will use a combination of CBT and talk therapy to effectively treat ADHD. If symptoms endure or are particularly severe then a psychiatrist may speak with you about prescription and non-prescription options. Paradoxically, stimulants often help hyperactive children with their ADHD symptoms. This is because they interact with the neurotransmitter dopamine, which plays a role in attention and focus. Depressants may also be prescribed if your child doesn’t respond well to the stimulants.

The prospect of giving your child prescription medicines can be frightening. So, doctors have recently begun looking into over-the-counter medicines as well as dietary components to substitute prescriptions. Some of these supplements include L-theanine, hemp extract, 5-HTP, and various vitamins. New research suggests that certain foods may also contribute to ADHD and related symptoms. These include refined sugars, caffeine, milk, chocolate, and food dyes.

Since children with ADHD are typically high-energy, it’s also important to give them an outlet to channel it through. Signing them up for sports and clubs are great ways of doing this, especially those involving lots of teamwork and body movement. Playing sports or physically engaging clubs that conclude about an hour before bed will exhaust your child’s energy and help them sleep, as well. This also presents a wonderful opportunity to strengthen social skills, which can be challenging with ADHD.

ADHD often co-exists with social anxiety, depression, conduct disorders, and learning disabilities. The latter of which is typically from a difficulty focusing and not from any deficit in intelligence or other cognitive impairment. To avoid social anxiety, it’s important to make sure your child socializes outside of school for at least an hour or two a day while also having a couple hours of alone time afterwards to de-compress. ADHD children may also have a lot of creative energy that’s hard to express in school, so making sure they can let their imaginations take them at home is vital.

It’s easy for children with ADHD to feel depressed from a young age. This often results from an amalgamation of social stress, low self-esteem, difficulty ‘fitting in’, and lack of direction. To remedy these issues, it’s important to talk to your child about their interests, speak with their teachers about their conduct at school, and be sure they have a solid group of friends. Depression can also be diet or sleep related, so keeping those in check is always important. This is especially true since ADHD can make sleeping difficult in young children.

My name's Vicky and I have a beautiful four-year-old son named Paul who just started preschool. When I'm not being a mother, I practice tennis and play with my corgi, Milo.

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