Dear Husband,
I. need. more. help.

Last night was hard for you. I asked you to watch the baby so I could go to bed early. The baby was crying. Wailing, really. I could hear him from upstairs, and my stomach knotted from the sound, wondering if I should come down there and relieve you or just shut the door so I could get some desperately needed sleep. I chose the latter.

You came into the room 20 minutes later, with the baby still frantically crying. You placed the baby in the bassinet and gently pushed it just a few inches closer to my side of the bed, a clear gesture that you were done watching him.

I wanted to scream at you. I wanted to launch an epic fight that very moment. I had been watching the baby and the toddler all damn day. I was going to be waking up with the baby to feed him all damn night. The least you can do is hold him for a couple of hours in the evening so I can attempt to sleep.

Just a few hours of precious sleep. Is that too much to ask?

I know we both watched our parents fulfill the typical mother-father roles growing up. Both our mothers were the primary caretakers and our fathers were relatively hands-off. They were excellent dads, but they weren’t expected to spend a significant amount of time changing diapers, feeding, caring, and tending to the kids. Our mothers were the superwomen who maintained the family dynamics. Cooking, cleaning, and raising the children. Any help from dad was welcome but unexpected.

I see us falling into these family dynamics more and more each day. My responsibility to feed the family, keep the house clean, and take care of the kids is assumed, even as I return to work. I blame myself for most of it, too. I have set the precedent that I can do it. And in truth, I want to. No offense, but I’m not sure I want to know what a week’s worth of dinner would look like with you in charge.

I also see my friends and other moms doing it all, and doing it well. I know you see it, too. If they can manage it, and if our mothers did it so well for us, why can’t I?

I don’t know.

Maybe our friends are playing the part in public and secretly struggling. Maybe our moms suffered in silence for years and now, 30 years later, they simply don’t remember how hard it really was. Or maybe, and this is something I berate myself over every single day, I’m just not as qualified for the job as everyone else. And as much as I cringe just thinking it, I’m going to say it: I need more help.

Part of me feels like a failure for even asking. I mean, you do help. You are an amazing father, and you do a great job with the kids. And besides, this should come easy to me, right? Motherly instincts, no?

But I’m human and running on five hours of sleep and tired as hell. I need you.

In the morning, I need you to get our toddler ready so I can care for the baby and make everyone’s lunches and drink a cup of coffee. And no, getting the toddler ready does not mean plopping him in front of the TV. It means making sure he goes potty, giving him some breakfast, seeing if he wants water, and packing his bag for school.

At night, I need an hour to decompress in bed, knowing our toddler is asleep in his room and the baby is in your care. I know it’s hard to listen to the baby cry. Believe me, I know. But if I can watch and pacify the baby for the majority of the day, you can do it for an hour or two at night. Please. I need you.

On weekends, I need more breaks. Times when I can get out of the house by myself and feel like an individual. Even if it’s just a walk around the block or a trip to the grocery store. And some days when I’ve scheduled swim class and play dates, and it seems like I’ve got it all under control, I need you to offer to lend me a hand. Or suggest I go lie down during the kids’ naptime. Or start putting away the dishes without me suggesting it. I need you.

Lastly, I need to hear you’re grateful for all I do. I want to know that you notice the laundry is done and a nice dinner has been prepared. I want to know you appreciate that I breastfeed at all hours and pump when I’m at work when it would be easier for me to formula feed. I hope you notice that I never ask you to stay home from your networking events and sports activities. As the mom, it’s assumed I’ll be home all the time and always available to care for the kids while you’re out and I feed that assumption by, well, being home all the time.

I know it’s not how our parents did it, and I hate even asking. I wish I could do it all and make it look effortless. And I wish I didn’t need kudos for doing things most people expect from a mom. But I’m waving a white flag and admitting I’m only human. I’m telling you how much I need you, and if I keep going at the pace I’ve been on, I will break. And that would hurt you, the kids, and our family.

Because, let’s face it: You need me, too.

This post originally appeared on And What a Mom!

Hi! I’m Celeste. I consider myself a relatively new mom with two boys ages 4 and 2. Other titles I go by include: wife, health & wellness coach, marketing guru, avid reader (self-help books are my favorite), writer, travel/adventure seeker and fitness nut.

When our editor’s son lost his first tooth she stayed up all night waiting for the elusive tooth fairy (okay, she stalked the TF. Our staff is just that dedicated). The following is the interview she managed to get despite the ever-so-slightly irritated fairy’s busy schedule.

photo: Daniel Kempe via Unsplash 

RT: Tooth Fairy, sorry to spring this on you but you are a difficult fairy to reach. I mean, do you even have a phone or an email?

TF: It’s really alright, it’s just that you caught me off guard and you know I’ve got several more [children] to visit before daybreak, but I’m happy to answer a few questions. No, I don’t carry a cellphone. I operate on the Pixie Network. Oh, hey, shoutout to this Michigan mom who made me a mask. It fits perfectly!

RT: Okay, we have to ask. What is the Pixie Network?

TF: Every time someone says “Tooth Fairy” I get a little alert—not a text or anything drab like that. I have a crew of pixies with amazing hearing, and they scan the globe for phrases like “loose tooth” or “tooth fairy” and make note. They actually have created this giant global map for me in my office where they chart potential lost teeth, so that I can plan ahead. I never used to have that luxury and let me tell you: it is waaay nicer to end up in Barbados with a swimsuit than in a parka because you had to dash down from the North Pole at the last minute. And pixies are so uniquely qualified for the task because not only are they really good at being nearly invisible, they travel like a whisper on the wind. And they are very loyal.

RT: That’s amazing. We had no idea. Do you only attend to the lost teeth of human children?

TF: I mean, if your dog loses its tooth and doesn’t manage to swallow it I guess I can answer a very polite and hopeful plea but that’s not my job, really. I don’t oversee animals. I do, however, reward children of other species: gnomes, fairies, dwarves, elves, pixies (obv.) and the like. Trolls, however, are another matter. They don’t get their teeth at all until they are adults and there’s not enough gold in the world to get me near an adult troll’s pillow. I may be magical, but I have my limits.

RT: We’ll take your word on the trolls. So tell us, is your name actually Tooth Fairy or is that your job title?

TF: Well, at this point my job title is my name. I mean, I answer to it, regardless. My full name at birth (although records are spotty at best, having been recorded hundreds of years ago using the ink of elderberries, which is NOT age proof) was: Esmeralda Asteria Bonvecchio Fee Fee Dientaris. Few people know it or can pronounce it correctly, so generally, I just answer to Tooth Fairy or “Tee-Eff” for short.

RT: Is there anything our readers’ kids should know about their teeth and the exchange of teeth?

TF: Well, every household and child is different, but I’ve found over the years there is no one common denomination for a single tooth. I do love the current trend of making a neat little pillow or pouch to put the tooth in: makes it easier for me to find it. And I never mind when a little snack or note is left. Kids should know that teeth that are in better condition of course get a premium: free of cavities, well-brushed, low plaque, a nice sheen. These are all qualities that I look for and will leave a leeetle bit more under the pillow. I work closely with the Switch Witch, who works just after Halloween, to exchange candy for prizes. This helps improve the quality of baby teeth around the globe. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I really must get back to the grind. 

RT: Thanks again, Tee-Eff. We really appreciate your taking the time to talk with us. Next time, we’ll find you through the Pixie Network.

TF: Yes, errrr…do that. I’ll be sure and get back to you right…ahem…away. Ta ta! 

Shortly after saying this TF gave a little wave and poof! disappeared in a cloud of what looked like glittery smoke or baby powder, though it smelled as minty as toothpaste. 

—Amber Guetebier

Featured image: Pexels via Pixabay

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Parenting isn’t a sprint, it’s a marathon. Unless you’re a mom qualifying for the Olympic track team! On Sunday night, Quanera Hayes and Allyson Felix finished first and second in the 400-meter dash to secure their tickets to Tokyo and celebrated with an impromptu playdate on the track.

After the race, Hayes brought her son Demetrius to meet Felix’s daughter Camyrn. An adorable moment ensued, of course. “Guys, we’re going to Tokyo,” Felix said and Hayes added “Super mommies, yeah!”

The two moms gave birth to their children within weeks of each other in Fall 2018 and didn’t let that stop them from returning to top speed. Hayes won the race in 49.78 seconds, her fastest time since winning the 2017 U.S. title in a personal best 49.72. She told Team USA that it was tough to come back after giving birth and progress was slow, but her hard work paid off with the victory over a stacked field.

The most decorated woman in American track and field history, Felix qualified for her fifth Olympic Games and her first since becoming a mom. She clocked a season’s best time of 50.02 after racing past several runners down the stretch. It wasn’t easy—she suffered severe preeclampsia during her pregnancy and had an emergency C-section to deliver her daughter, but after a long hospital stay and recovery she’s running at elite speed once more.

We’re excited to watch these Super Moms compete in the upcoming Olympics! Here’s hoping for more winning track and field playdates, too.

—Sarah Shebek

Feature image courtesy of Andrew Makedonski / Shutterstock.com

 

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Wish you held on to that high school Spanish? Si, us too. The best time for your child to learn a language is now—the earlier the better! The opportunity to acquire another language is one of the greatest gifts you can give your kids, opening doors and expanding their world in a way that only being bilingual can. 

The International School creates an inclusive, multicultural environment where children are fully immersed in Spanish, Japanese, or Mandarin from preschool through 5th grade. Located in South Portland, The International School has provided its young students with a bilingual education for 30 years!

After graduating from The International School, children will not only be bilingual and bicultural, they’ll have the educational foundation needed to excel in school and life. Read on for three reasons why this school is excelente!

The First of Its Kind

The International School is a renowned center of excellence in multicultural education. They are the largest preschool program in Portland and (cue the confetti) are celebrating their 30th Anniversary this year! The International School was the first International Baccalaureate elementary school in the Pacific Northwest. They are one of only two schools in the United States (and perhaps the world) offering full immersion in three separate language tracks under one roof—it’s a one-stop language shop.

Language Program Offerings Like No Other

It is the only program in the country to offer full Japanese language immersion, and the only program to combine Japanese immersion with the renowned International Baccalaureate approach. The International School’s Chinese immersion program is the 8th oldest program in the United States. It’s also the longest-running program in the Pacific Northwest. Impressive stats for an incredibly impressive school (we’re not surprised!).

World-Class Educators

They boast having a highly-qualified and loving staff, hailing from over 17 countries. Kids get the attention they need and deserve with no more than 19 students per class, with the average class size being even smaller. All The International School teachers have native-level fluency, so kids learn native accents, speech patterns and expressions. It’s the ideal way to learn a language (and to fool someone into thinking you’re from another country).

 

Give an education that expands beyond borders and watch your child grow. They’ll acquire a new language and culture as they learn to pursue knowledge beyond the classroom and throughout life—all before the 6th grade! 

 

Virtual personal tours are offered daily and they are now accepting applications for Fall 2021. Financial aid is available.

 

—Jamie Aderski

D.C. parents and caregivers: Do you know how lucky you are?! You may have worries, but a stellar pediatric hospital close to home isn’t one. Children’s National Hospital in Washington, D.C. is dedicated exclusively to pediatrics with experts specializing in treating kids and kids only. They’re celebrating 150 years of pediatric care, research and commitment to community. Interesting fact: Volunteers opened the hospital in 1870 with 12 beds to care for Civil War orphans. Read on to learn more about this incredible pediatric hospital, practically in your backyard!

Learn more and help your loved ones grow stong with Children’s National Hospital.

Photo via iStock

“We’re No 1!”

Children’s National Hospital is among the top children’s hospitals in the United States. They’re also ranked number 1 for newborn care for the fourth straight year and as one of the top 10 pediatric hospitals in the country by U.S. News & World Report—that’s no simple feat. They’ve helped children from around the world and their pediatric specialists are internationally recognized for providing the best possible care.

(Another) humble brag: Children’s National is Magnet®-designated for excellence in nursing.

And there’s even more praise: Children’s National has attained Level 1 Surgery Verification from the American College of Surgeons, a distinction that recognizes surgery centers that have improved surgical quality, prevented complications, reduced costs and saved lives.

Children’s National is transforming pediatric medicine, and they just keep getting better.

Children’s National Hospital in Washington, D.C.

 

Innovative & Cutting-Edge Care

Children’s National has earned a (well-deserved) global reputation for pioneering new therapies and treatments, including heart, cancer, neurology and general surgery innovations. It ranks seventh among pediatric institutions for National Institutes of Health (NIH) research funding. 

This a huge deal: They’re recognized as committed advocates for children on local, state and federal health policy. They’re often the first at the table when pediatric healthcare legislation is being developed.

Photo by Bofu Shaw on Unsplash

As if Their Well-Deserved Accolades Weren’t Enough

Construction is soon to be completed on the Children’s National Research and Innovation Campus, the first in the nation dedicated to pediatric research. Children’s National has been designated twice as a Magnet® hospital, demonstrating the highest standards of nursing and patient care delivery. 

Now that you’ve learned Children’s National offers expert care, here’s a bonus: It’s also convenient care. This pediatric academic health system utilizes a community-based primary care network and specialty care locations in the D.C. metropolitan area, including the Maryland and Northern Virginia suburbs.

One last cool thing: They have a parenting site geared towards keeping your kids healthy called Rise and Shine. Topics and advice come straight from their experts that parents can interact with by submitting questions, taking quizzes, and more!

 


Learn more and help your loved ones grow up strong with Children’s National Hospital.

 

—Jamie Aderski

 

 

Disclaimer:   Please note that the information provided on this site is for general informational and educational purposes only. It is not intended as a substitute for professional advice from a qualified healthcare provider familiar with your child’s unique symptoms. Always seek the advice of your pediatrician or other qualified healthcare provider regarding any medical condition. If you believe that your child is having a medical emergency dial 911 for assistance.

Go Ask Your Mom

Photo: Lindsey Althaus

If you’re a mom you know there’s a phrase that you cringe when you hear your husband say it: “Ask your mother.” It’s one that I hear and I think, “Nope! Why are you setting me up for this?” A lot of times I feel annoyed that I have to answer a basic question and Jeremy gets out of it.

But then I’m reminded of our NICU days. It’s this moment I always go back to. I can remember the site, the smell of a sterile hospital room, I can remember the feeling in my chest, the emotions all of it. It’s when Jeremy held Whit for the first time. Whit was on life-support we were hopeful but didn’t know what the next day could bring. We had had a long day. We weren’t approved for the Ronald McDonald house so we were driving almost an hour to and from the NICU every day.

I was the human milkmaid who wasn’t handling the NICU life the way I felt I should. As if that’s a thing. As if they hand you a book upon entering called: How to handle the NICU and other fun facts to get you through this sucky time. I was constantly crying only able to hold my son once a shift because he becomes too unstable. None of this situation was ok. NONE of it.

I remember going to my parents to eat and my phone broke. I lost every NICU picture. Every contact. Everything. I had four days of exhaustion, trauma, and this feeling of guilt that I couldn’t shake and I lost everything. Whitman could easily die and I’d be left with 22 stitches in my lady bits and no video of Jeremy giving Whit his first bath, or a picture of me holding Whit for the first time.

During my meltdown, we decided to go back to the NICU one last time before heading home for the night. We walked into the room and the NICU nurse was in we introduced ourselves and she asked if one of us wanted to hold Whitman. I said let Jeremy. And Jeremy didn’t dare argue that logic. I remember the nurse and I moving the tubes and things around and Jeremy sitting in the chair. I remember how delicately he was placed in Jeremy’s arms and I remember this almost calm that had on his face. A weird relief. That maybe, just maybe, we’d make it through with minimum PTSD. We had been through so much in four days. Our lives weren’t anything that we had planned. I was working through a lot. Like how it’s the week of Thanksgiving and I wasn’t going to get to gorge like the big pregnant woman I dreamt of because Whit was here. I was working through the feeling of failure, I’m his mom and I couldn’t even take care of him the right away. I shouldn’t be this guy’s mom. I’m not qualified. He deserves so much better than me.

But at that moment though, when Jeremy was holding Whit the nurse said: “Mr. Althaus he can hear you talk to him.” Jeremy isn’t a man of words so I was expecting his usual: Hi and that was it. But in this deep confident voice, he said: “Hey I’m your dad. It’s not supposed to be like this. But we’re here. I love you. I don’t have any answers but your mom does. Ask her. Always ask her.”

I stood there sobbing which was my new persona those days. The nurse stood there sobbing too. Even though I felt like I failed Jeremy didn’t think so. Even though I was convinced that Whit would be better off with someone else Jeremy didn’t think so. NICU life is a lonely life. No one gets it until you’re there. There are so many roller coasters of emotions. Your sweet babe takes two steps forward three steps back. On days when I feel like I’m failing, I think of the day that Jeremy said ask your mom for the first time. Though today those words can drive me crazy I never take it for granted because there was a time when we weren’t sure that Whitman would be here. The NICU saved our baby and helped make him the thriving 6-year-old he is today. And for that I’m grateful.

 

Lindsey is a mom, wife, and blogger at The Althaus Life. She lives in Ohio with her husband and 2 children. Lindsey is grateful all things and to be able to chronicle her beautifully broken laugh til you cry cry until you laugh life.

New York is taking strides to make sure moms get the help they need during pregnancy, childbirth and the post-partum period. Last spring the state launched a pilot program, extending Medicaid coverage to some doula services. And now the state Senate is taking steps to make sure these maternal health professionals are qualified.

According to Romper, New York Sen. Jessica Ramos sponsored a bill that would create doula certification. In a tweet, announcing the success of the bill (the Senate passed it unanimously) Ramos wrote, “We are investing in the prevention of maternal mortality and ensuring that all birth methods are safe.”

Ramos told Romper, “We want to ensure that doulas become part of the norm for maternal care and we want them included in the birth plan. By professionalizing, we will begin to see a burgeoning industry that will surely see a betterment for everyone involved.”

So what exactly will this bill do? When it takes effect (which is 90 days after Governor Cuomo signs it) the law will require doulas to seek professional certification before performing services during the prenatal, childbirth and post-partum periods. Certification would require doulas to pass an exam, provide proof of professional prep (via education), complete and application and pay a fee.

—Erica Loop

Featured photo: Kelly Sikkema via Unsplash 

 

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When raising a family, we do our best to ensure their health, happiness, safety, and security. We strive to provide them with all of the skills, resources, and opportunities they need to grow up to lead a happy, successful, and fullfilling life. In doing this, every mom needs to know how to save for college, which is a very expensive commitment.  The best approach is to start early, as the power of compounding over time is powerful, and was called the eighth wonder of the world by Albert Einstein.

Here are ways to reduce the financial worry, ensure your family’s ability to afford the cost of the degree, and start successfully saving for your child’s future. 

Enroll in a 529 plan. One of the best ways to save for college for your child is a college savings 529 plan. These state sponsored higher education savings accounts grow tax-free if the rules are followed. Each state determines the maximum contributions, eligible investments, and tax advantages. Although there is no tax deduction, distributions are tax-free if used for qualified education expenses of the beneficiary of the account. These expenses include such items as tuition, fees, textbooks, supplies and equipment required for enrollment, and special needs services. Where the student is attending at least half the time and the payments are made directly to the college, they also include room and board costs. Supplies may include a laptop, printer, computer, and internet service. Some expenses that are not qualified include travel, a cellphone, student loan repayment, health insurance provided by the college, or a sports or club membership.

How to get a waiver of the 10% penalty. Non-qualified withdrawals of income from a 529 will be subject to ordinary income tax as well as a 10% penalty to the person who receives the money, which can be either the owner or the beneficiary. The principal portion of the withdrawal will not be subject to tax. For exceptions to the 10% penalty, see below. It is very important to make sure that the withdrawals are used only for qualified expenses to avoid taxes and penalty.

• If a child does not go to college or receives a scholarship, the owner may change the beneficiary to another child or member of the beneficiary’s family. This flexibility makes a 529 plan a very attractive investment.

• If a withdrawal is made from a 529 plan because the beneficiary dies, becomes disabled, or has earned scholarships and doesn’t need the money, the 10 percent penalty may be waived. Income taxes will still apply to the income portion of the amount withdrawn.

Know the most advantagous investment options. The investment options offered include a variety of mutual funds. Aged-based funds are very popular, as the investments are more heavily weighted in stocks with a younger child and are rebalanced to become more heavily weighted in bonds the closer the child gets to college age. To open a 529 plan, you may either make a lump sum investment or set up a monthly bank draft, a great way to save for your child’s future.

Make monthly or annual contributions. There are no income restrictions to making a contribution to a 529 plan. Although there is no annual maximum, contributions per year over $15,000 to a 529 plan will be subject to federal gift tax rules.  Each state has a specific maximum account size, which generally varies between $235,000 and $500,000. You are not required to contribute to your state’s 529 plan but will want to consider state tax advantages when making a decision. Distributions may be used for schools out of state.

• Accelerated gifting of 5 years of contributions may be made to a 529 plan, a total of $75,000 per individual or $150,000 for a married couple filing jointly, without having to file a gift tax return. An important tax benefit, the value of account and its tax-free growth will be excluded from the contributor’s estate for federal estate tax purposes. To avoid having to file a gift tax return, no additional contributions may be made for 5 years if the full accelerated gifting has already been implemented.

• The contributor to a 529 plan is normally the account owner, but not necessarily. For example, a grandparent may fund a 529 plan with a child as owner and a grandchild as beneficiary. The owner of the account will name a successor co-owner and beneficiary, choose the investments, and decide when and how much to distribute.

• Parents, grandparents, relatives and friends who are U.S. citizens or resident aliens and at least 18 years old may open a 529 plan and make contributions. They may also make contributions to 529 plans owned by others. You may want to ask relatives to make a contribution to a 529 plan in lieu of gifts that will eventually be discarded by your child.

Understand the differences between a 529 Plan and a ROTH IRA. The annual contribution amounts are considerably higher for a 529 plan than for the ROTH IRA, which is currently $7,000 per year if under age 50. It is possible to save a much greater amount that will grow tax-free with a 529 plan. The ROTH IRA also has income eligibility restrictions, unlike the 529 plan. Withdrawals may be made tax-free without age or time restriction from a 529 plan if used for qualified education expenses. That is not the case with a ROTH IRA. If the ROTH IRA account holder will be under age 59 ½ when the withdrawals are made, earnings will be subject to ordinary income taxes, a real disadvantage. Only the 10% penalty will be avoided if the withdrawals are used for qualified education expenses in the same year. Earnings may be withdrawn tax-free from a ROTH IRA only if the account has been held for at least 5 years.  In most cases, a 529 plan is a much better way to save for college.

How 529 plans impact financial aid. The 529 plans owned by college students or their parents will reduce need-based aid by a maximum of 5.64% of the current market value. This calculation also affects the parent’ savings, checking and brokerage accounts, real estate other than the primary residence, ETFs, and mutual funds. Withdrawals that are made from a 529 plan held by a non-custodial parent will be assessed as income against financial aid, just like those held by grandparents.

In conclusion, your savings plan should be personalized and specific to your family’s needs and goals for the future. To find the right college savings plan for your specific situation, ask your financial advisor to compare plans for you and to explain the costs, fees, and risks. Prepare a budget to determine a realistic amount that you can set aside regularly for this long-term goal. In addition, make sure that you also regularly fund an account for your own retirement. You are a priority, as well as your children. This is very important to consider when deciding how to allocate your resources.

 

 

 

Rosemary Lombardy is a financial advisor with over 35 years of experience and a domestic abuse survivor. She is the founder of www.breakingbonds.com, a free resource for abused women, and author of Breaking Bonds: How to Divorce an Abuser and Heal - A Survival Guide.

Many parents feel under-qualified to rear their own children, especially if it’s their first. But there’s an advantage to being a rookie—here’s why.

Before my son was born, I had never even held a newborn baby. (That’s a lie, I remember holding my friend’s newborn baby for about two and a half seconds before I nervously passed the baby back, accidentally nudging the baby’s head on the side of her mom’s arms. I’ve tried to blank out that memory but it likes to creep up from time to time).

When I became pregnant and prepared for labour, moments of self-doubt became all too prevalent. I would think: I can’t hold a child with confidence, how do I expect to raise a healthy child? To compensate for my lack of confidence in being a new parent, I leant towards others.

Being a rookie doesn’t always present itself as an advantage. A rookie traveller might overpack, forget to pack essentials, not know how to budget or get by on the basics of a different language. But being a rookie parent, one who has yet to give birth or one who has recently had a child is different than being just inexperienced.

Becoming a new parent is ultra-intimidating. Parents-to-be often feel like the least qualified people to raise a child and seek others’ advice constantly. In my role as a doula, I’ve had the opportunity to meet and interview rookie parents and all seem to have one thing in common: they are searching to know what they don’t know. They are looking for answers to their seemingly never-ending questions. They want to know about what their labour is going to be like, what its going to feel like, what could happen and how they can start their child’s life in the best way possible. Too many parents-to-be and new parents feel incompetent and incapable; it’s important they know there are advantages to being new. 

When I became a parent, by husband had already had three kids. He raised his youngest on his own since his daughter was six months old. He was, what many would consider, a seasoned professional. While our personalities (I am always on time, he is always five mins late) played a role in the dynamics of raising our child, I found him falling asleep during our childbirth classes, when I presented any of the materials I’d received from the class and even during my labor! He was so excited to be a dad again and so supportive, but he didn’t need to read the books again, because he’d read them before (years ago) and didn’t have the same sense of curiosity. Seasoned parents have learned from their own experience, but even they started off as rookies.

The edge a rookie parent has? Curiosity. Here are five reasons why being a rookie parent is an advantage:

You are likely going to read a lot more recent stuff.

When my baby was on the way and I was in the market for a car seat, I couldn’t tell you how many people my parents’ age said, “we didn’t have car seats back then! They literally put us in a box and brought us home. But look at me, I’m doing just fine!”. Safety devices and other recommendations change all the time and it’s not just a way to keep the market going. New tests and findings are regularly done to ensure what we’re  keeping our babies safe. A rookie parent is likely reading recent recommendations provided by health care professionals or childbirth classes and are aware of the newest safety products and devices.

You are likely going to seek advice for all things, big and small.

As a parent-to-be, you are like a sponge (a very tired, nervous, excited and uncomfortable sponge). You will receive advice that are both solicited and unsolicited. Because you’re in an active search to find answers to your never ending questions, you’ll start getting some answers.

You are likely to ask and learn from a variety of sources.

The answers to all your questions will likely be shaped by numerous sources (online, print and people) with various backgrounds and experiences giving you a depth of information. The best knowledge comes from a diverse variety of sources!

You are likely going to ask your health care professional if something seems off.

Some times you will encounter false alarms, but sometimes you will be right on the pulse. You’re likely equipped to fend off illnesses with early detection!

The listening skills you’ve developed in pregnancy will help you understand that your child is your best teacher.

There’s no doubt about this. You will learn best about your child’s needs, because you’re actively listening and trying to get to him or her better.

Curiosity is what often gives rookie parents an advantage. So many new parents feel lost, incapable, scared of the unknown and it’s about time new-parents knew about what gives them a good edge for being a parent.

I'm Deanna, Candian-born blogger for MomsCandidConversations and I’m on a mission to better the parenthood experience for myself and others. I am thirsty for knowledge and love to learn how to see things in a healthy, positive way. I have four kids ranging from ages two to 16 (step-momma to three of four).